Giggling about Armie Hammer, the New Jersey trailer, and Kim’s new style
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They just got away from me. Hey, gigglers. Before we start Giggly Squad today, I wanted to address something from last week's podcast. I described an actor's skin tone when describing his appearance, and I realize now how that could be offensive. And so I wanted to take time to sincerely apologize to anyone that I may have offended. It was awful.

not my intention and I recognize what I said was wrong. I am completely committed to learning and growing so I just wanted to take time today and sincerely apologize for my words from last week so I'm very sorry. Book

Because we are the Giggly Squad and we are a team, I also want to apologize for not saying anything in the moment. But as the Giggly Squad, we own our shit and we are committed to continue to learn, also to unlearn, and continue to grow. And in our journey to educate ourselves...

We discovered this amazing documentary called Dark Girls by Bill Duke and Dee Chance and Barry. It's beautifully made and we just can't recommend it enough, especially if you want to further educate yourself. But now that we're talking about shit we're watching. Yeah. And I love recommending documentaries. The more documentaries, the better. It's basically reality TV, but like slightly, slightly more informative. Just like a hinge or a tinge. Tinge. Whatever.

A small amount. A dollop. Yeah. I actually watched this documentary on Netflix called Anita. Are you familiar with who Anita is? I am not. She's basically like this huge star in Brazil. But the interesting thing about her is like she literally manages herself. Like, you know how there's people who have teams where like they're just like, OK, my manager said this. My agent said this. She literally goes from like.

performing to then going in the meeting and she's ripping up papers of pitches from brands and like she's like i don't like this this is terrible but what i love about her is her whole thing is about shaking her ass

I mean, I feel like this girl is your new best friend. I know, like I'm literally like, this is what I want to be. This is literally you. I just want to shake my ass and then be a boss. And get paid. My goal in life is like when I show up to a meeting that people are like, oh shit, Paige is here. Like get on your shit because she's not, she's not fucking around. Right now, how do you think people feel?

Paige didn't know you're gonna show up no I love people who are like oh Paige made it on time I didn't I didn't know Paige was even included in this meeting interesting weird flex but okay here she is Paige take yourself off mute again Paige we can see you looking at picking out outfits during the meeting like Paige please don't put your lip gloss on in the camera this is it's not a mirror it's not also we need a dress for shit we're watching

The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion just dropped, and let's just say... Trailer. Sorry, the trailer. Yeah. You got too into the voice that you forgot. I forgot what I was saying. I was just enjoying sounding like Joe Giudice. Yeah. Or the other one. I just... Joe Gorga. Yeah, Joe Gorga. Joe Gorga. When Joe Gorga fell...

And tripped on like slipped on that vacation. It was the most adorable fucking thing I've ever seen. It was such an iconic moment. Oh, he's just such a butterball. I love him so much. But he gets fucking heated. He is a little firecracker. Yeah, he is. I would not want to see him man. What's your opinion? Love him. No, like of the whole trailer. I think...

Quite possibly, in my humble opinion, the best trailer Bravo has ever put out for a Housewives series. Wait, that's like a really bold statement. That's a very... It's a really bold statement.

And I stick by it. It's a whole different Teresa. Like, and I'm excited for it. At the end when they're, when she's fighting with Joe and Melissa about something, and I can't wait to see what it's about something about Joe Giudice and she's not saying anything. Mm-hmm.

Intrigued, upset. This is why Jersey is up there with Potomac. It's because there's actual family drama. Family drama is next fucking level. And it's so deep. They know how to push each other's buttons. And Teresa has always been one of the best housewives of all time. But she always has this fucking dude who she was married to who was holding her down. And now that he's gone...

Right. I feel like she is going to blossom and just be way more herself. Yes. But clearly there is still some stuff going on with him that's going to potentially hold her back. Which like, how could there not be, you know, like you're married to this guy. Yeah. You have four children with him.

Also, Jennifer and like drinking. Did you see her like literally fall to the ground? Well, she was like pouring water and missing her mouth. It's so interesting. Jennifer is fascinating to me because she's only wears Chanel and her literal Instagram bio says I'm married to a plastic surgeon. Like she loves the like materialistic shit and how she comes across. But then she will black out on camera. She does not black out.

It's almost... I feel like she should come to Summer House. I feel like she would drink us under the table. Jennifer, you're invited because the technique I saw of you blacking out was on par. It's something we recognize. We recognize it and we accept it. And you're accepted in the house at any time. Also, Margaret looks...

Phenomenal. Oh my God, Margaret is gorgeous. And she gets into a huge fight with Joe. No, well, that made me really upset because I love Margaret and Joe. And I hate to be that person that's upset when other relationships get into fights because it's not my relationship. I shouldn't put that on them. However, he is the most supportive, cutest thing ever. She actually went on my podcast Burning in Hell and I asked her something. And she said something very powerful to me. I said, Marge, do you regret cheating on your husband with Joe? And she said, no.

Hannah, what I have to say is no. I was meant to have children with my other husband. He was meant for that. And Joe was meant for this time in my life. Love stories come at different times. And I literally was like, that's how society has to think of relationships. It's not this fucking fairy tale. Some guys are meant to be the father of your children and some are not. I mean, Teresa probably agree with that too. Like she wouldn't have fucking Melania and like the amazing daughters that she has. It wasn't for Joe.

There's a lot of Joes on this show, so people who don't watch. There's a lot of Joes. I just realized that. You just say Joe and people be like, yeah, I'm here. It's such a testament to, like, Italian families, too. Like, everyone has the same name. Also, the fight, there has to be, like, mozzarella being thrown around, olive oil spilled everywhere. And there's just also something about watching, like, Italian families fight because it's so much more explosive than, like...

Your typical Connecticut family who's like, I didn't like that. Thank you. Like we are like throwing things. Dallas is like Tiffany. The new housewife was trying to get. Oh, I haven't watched any of this. I need to watch. I watched the clip. She's trying to get them all to eat chicken feet.

Oh, and she's like, Cameron, are you going to eat it? And she's like, yes, girl, I'm about to try it out. Don't worry about me. Yes, girl, I swear I'm going to try it. Like when she really wants to be like, bitch, I don't want to try this. Yeah, they're so polite when they fight. Like, yes, girl, I heard what you said. Thank you. Italians, when they're having a normal conversation, it sounds like they're fighting. Yes. Yes.

So when they're actually fighting, it's like World War IV. Right. Like the amount of times in like a very loving conversation with my brother that I'm like, fuck you. It's like not normal. Also, the way Italians get into a conversation, you don't wait for someone to finish. You just raise your voice louder. Yeah. It's who's ever louder wins. Everyone knows that. I always say like if I pause to then like respond,

Respond to you It means I'm not listening Like if you talk to me And I don't jump on you And interrupt you It means I'm not listening If I'm not thinking Of my next comeback And not even listening to you I don't give a fuck About our friendship No Like I don't care No If I'm listening And hearing you out Like

I'm thinking about an outfit that I'm putting together in my head. So know that. Two people talking at the same time is love and passion in the Italian culture. It really is. And New York City in general. I'm so excited for New Jersey. I also am like in the midst of catching up on Salt Lake City. What's your opinions?

I have so many of them. You can just kind of tell what everyone's, not problem is, but like what their like personality is. Like Heather, I really like Heather. I think she's just like genuinely sweet and nice. She's also funny. She's very funny and she just wants to be loved.

Like she just wants to be loved. That's why I think in the beginning when Lisa kind of was like, I don't know her from college, she was like broken. Yeah, like her feelings were just genuinely hurt. Like, you know, and she wants to be like the other girls, like Lisa and Meredith, where they can kind of be like too cool for school. It's very like Lisa and Meredith are the cool ones. Jen wants to be in like the popular clique. Yeah.

But she's really friends with Heather. And, like, Heather's like, yo, what? Like, why do you want to be friends with them so bad? Like, who cares? Like, you're being mean to me. That's the underlying reason there's fighting. But there's also Whitney. And I feel like Whitney's the girl that...

That like has a little too much fun at the parties on the weekends. So then when you get to school on Monday, you're like, we love her. But like she did tear open her groin when she was doing splits over the weekend and then blacked out. Which is another reason why she's also invited to the summer house. You need to come to the summer house. Open invite.

We will get a stripper pole for you. We should start, like, some type of segment, like, invited to the summer house or, like, or not. Like, could they hang at the summer house? Or, you know, like, Whitney definitely could. I also think that Whitney... Yeah, she, like, doesn't care what other girls think of her. Like, she just wants to have a good time. And I feel like her and her husband have a, like...

Hot relationship And I'm so happy that Bravo took a chance And casted Mary Because she's so fucking quirky And there's something about it That I'm just like I love it Like you're so you There's a lot of questions about Mary Because they were like You work as For the church But you have money Like you are the head CEO of a finance company I'll never understand it I'll never understand That

Like we talked about like I was just going to say Scientology. Oh my God. We can't do that again. You can't. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope. nope

Like the guy Carl Who was like the head of it who got in trouble Because he cheated on his wife and all of that whatever Like I'll just never understand How like they're rich and like live In like these great houses in LA Like I don't understand how Mary has Just like closets and closets It kind of reminds me of every episode of HGTV where they're like Hi like um I'm a dog sitter My wife rescues Butterflies Our price range is a mere 3 to 5 mil Okay

We don't work. But we want something beachy. We want something beachy with a downtown vibe. You know, it's like it doesn't exist. You can't have beachy with a downtown vibe. You don't have a job. Do you watch it? Okay.

I had a moment the other night. I'm actually really happy you brought this up because I've had yet to tell anyone about it. I had a moment the other night when I was laying in bed and I was trying to figure out something to watch on Netflix. And I watched a full trailer for this home renovation show. And I was like, yo, this looks amazing. I'm putting this on immediately. And then I stopped and I was like, I can't. Because then I will officially be an adult. Be an adult?

who's single lives alone i will be looking up what cat to rescue i was about to say you know what's next you need a cat and if you guys want to adopt animals southampton animal shelter there's a oh my god there's the cutest cat named bowie who has a blue eye and a green eye and he's deaf and he is so affectionate and cute and like you kind of need him

I'm not saying no You know It's just where I am In my life Your aesthetic Would just bump up With a gorgeous white cat With different color eyes

I don't know. I kind of want one of those like leopard ones. If I just had a leopard cat roaming around my apartment, you couldn't tell me anything. A Bengal kitten. But this is the problem. Apparently Bengal kittens, like they're actually like crazy. But I feel like you're crazy. So I mean, could it kill me in my sleep? I don't know. I like the excitement. You also kind of look like a cat. Like I know people said you look like a cricket, but like you look like a cricket fucked a cat. I've also gotten that I look like a spider.

And I'm like, you've never seen a spider's face. But we'll take it because I feel like indirectly you're saying I have long eyelashes. So thank you. I just have to say you've never lived down your green screen fuck up of Summer House season three. Paige's fingers are very long. And with the green screen, they made them look even thinner. And this bitch went viral for looking like she had spider fingers.

It looked like something Armie Hammer would chop up, throw a little barbecue sauce on, and love. Okay. What a great segue. No, we're going to get into Armie Hammer shortly, but I do want to ask you really quickly. You're moving into a new apartment. Do you know how to decorate an apartment? Do you know what aesthetic you want for this? Because I know you've decorated yours, but, like, you're going to have a new one. Like, what's your new kind of look? Because I know you don't stay with an aesthetic for too long. Okay.

So here's the thing. My first apartment, which I have lived in this apartment for almost five years now, which is crazy. It's a studio apartment. It's like my was like I've lived by myself. I love this apartment. I'm so sad to leave. I purposely made it so girly. Like it literally looks like Polly Pocket came in here and just threw up everywhere. My couch is purple. Like I have gold. I have a pink neon sign. Like it's so girly.

And I was like, I'll never be able to decorate like this in my adult life. Like, I'm excited. I didn't live in a dorm room. I, like, didn't get the excitement of that. So, like, my apartment's very girly. Did you live at home during college? I did. Okay, continue. Makes a lot of sense. Explains a lot. It does. That's why I'm such a wild child. Now, moving into my new apartment.

My one of my best friends from college. Her name is Hollis Loudon Pueg. Follow her on Instagram. She's an interior designer. She's amazing. She is like so like amazing.

I don't even know how to describe her style, but she can like tailor her job obviously to everyone's style because I'm like a little bit more like sleek and want things like all white and monochromatic and just like vibey. Wait, is your apartment going to look like Kim Kardashian's house where there's literally nothing in it but a bed and a chair? So we're doing this thing where it's no furniture. And you pay like $10,000 to get it designed. Yeah.

And she's just going to find me like one drawing that is $4 million and that will be the centerpiece. No, but she does like such cool things with like, there's maybe like a leopard rug and like a green velvet couch. You know, like I just want her to come in, walk into the space.

Well, people can help. Even if you have an eye for fashion, like home decor. I don't have an eye for home decor. It's so different. And but you have so different watch TV shows, do Pinterest boards. I don't know what people fucking do. But then it's like how you do outfits. You're looking at outfits all the time. So you're ingesting it and you know what to reference in your head. Well, right now, like same with me.

I was opposite. You're like, I want to be really girly. I was like, I'm not going to live here. I haven't bought this apartment. I'm probably going to move in a year. It looked like a hospital room. Mary from Salt Lake City would have walked in and been like, smells like hospital. And guys would come in and be like,

is this a like did you just move in yeah like i've been here i literally looked like a boys apartment maybe that's why they felt comfortable that's why i attracted boys but anyway i'm excited for your journey to that thank you i'm so excited i'm definitely going to bring everyone along on it um i'm definitely going to hire some type of organization company to come in and like do it and this is where it stays

My mom is really jealous about that because she's usually my organizer. And she's like, you're just like, I feel like you're replacing me. I'm like, you don't need me anymore. I'm like, mother. Have you watched the home edit on Netflix?

was that might have been the commercial that i was watching and it's like they did chloe kardashian's like pantry or something they did reese witherspoon something each episode they do a celeb you should put it on just in the background i put it on so you just want me to rescue a cat you need to rescue a cat with this in the background so they do this thing that i actually love is they organize things based on color

Yeah, I do that with my clothes. I have one like crazy pet peeve. What? All of my hangers need to be the same type of hanger. Like I can have the pink felt hangers and then like a white plastic hanger. Absolutely get it out of here. Like I'll freak out. So like all my hangers right now are all different shades of pink and it's

it's giving me anxiety like I need them to all be one color and so like once I move in I'm also gonna do like a huge purge which I cannot wait for like I just don't fit in my apartment anymore the amount of clothes I have is egregious like it's wow that was a huge word thank you I like you know I've been flirting with people that went to Ivy League so I'm like picking things up went to Ivy League

He went to some type of Ivy, I believe. And like, I'm just trying to be smarter. Anyway. You're like some, he's like goes to these plant schools. So anyway, so I'm very excited to move into a new apartment. It's happening very soon. And I'm just like, I'm so ready for like at the next chapter in my life. Not to sound weird.

so cliche but like no you're i'm so ready is fucking good that's our mental health moment also what i want to say for mental health moment is i used to just have my home base is just like this place that i would just go and throw my shit on and then leave and i realized like your home needs to be your sanctuary like the colors have to be like pleasing for you the like

the touch like the senses the couch it has to feel happy because that is your base you can't go home to your parents all the time this past week i was like not feeling well if someone walked into my apartment this past week they would have either been like one she's a hoarder or two she's battling a deep depression like a deep one we should check on her one of two is correct

Pretty much both. It was, I couldn't even flip my FaceTime camera to show my mom because she would have passed away. Was there food on the ground? Oh, was there food on the ground? There was food everywhere, all over my table. And then there were piles of clothes everywhere on my floor. And I was like, this is disgusting. I can't. I put them all on my bed. I got too tired. I moved a spot and I slept on my bed with it.

It was disgusting. And I can't believe I just admitted that to all of the gigglers. But it's also part of the mental health moment because your space, it was making me more anxious. And then I couldn't get out of bed. I was like, it's so messy that I can't get out of bed. But that's why I can't get out of bed because it's so messy. Oh, my God. You nailed it. Once I heard from a tennis coach that like the state of your room is a state of your mind. So, oh, well, this week it was messy.

It was checking in to some type of rehab facility. But also don't act like this was like so off course for you because I'm pretty sure over the summer, you'd fall asleep with your phone in your hand and your Mexican takeout in like a little curled position like it was your baby. And that's just a little bit about me. And that's your dating profile. And...

I would take photos. It was so fun to see what position she fell asleep in. You literally look like you're taking a selfie while protecting a quesadilla. Not all heroes wear capes, okay? I don't know what to tell you. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

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I've pretty much cleared out all my lounge sets after I moved. I just like got rid of everything. I was like, I don't need all of these random sweatpants and sweatshirts and really replaced everything with skims because I know it's always going to look good and I know it always feels amazing. And you know how much I love laying in bed. So if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan.

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash Giggly. Oh, my God. Let's do some fucking front page news. Oh, my God. Let's do the news. Because we've been getting a lot of DMs about a particular story and everyone's asking me, like, are you OK? Are you OK? Are you OK?

Okay, I don't think I told the gigglers. I know I told you a couple weeks ago and I didn't want to say anything prematurely because like you never know what could happen. A couple weeks ago, the one and only Armie Hammer popped up on my Raya and I don't even remember what his profile looked like because I hearted that shit so fucking quickly. Spoiler alert, we did not match. I haven't

I'll check right now, but I'm pretty sure like he's definitely off of social media. Yep. As I thought, zero matches. So anyway, so that happened. And then all of the sudden, all of this started to come out about Armie Hammer.

Two girls basically were showing DMs. Who were the two girls? Was it his ex-girlfriends or like a random girl? It was like random girls. It wasn't that the most recent ex-girlfriend that we always talk about the girl page that it was not her. But she did retweet things like saying, yeah, he like is emotionally abusive. Here are some highlights.

He wanted to cut off a girl's toes, put them in his pocket so he could walk around with a piece of her all day long. Like his property. Sure. Sure. Are the toes manic? I mean, pedicured? God, I hope so. All I have to say, he does not want my tennis toes. He's like, this is not the kind of toe I want to put in my pocket. It's very nubby and smells like athlete's foot.

He wanted to cut a girl's rib out, barbecue it, eat it. He admitted he's in these messages. He's 100 percent a cannibal. This one girl said that she one time had a cut on her finger and all he wanted to do was suck her finger and like suck the blood and lick it. Now there's a bunch of people being like, don't kink shame, ma'am.

Gets past the little Light choking And hair pulling When he said Like he actually Ate a heart before Was he serious? We don't know We don't know I don't Okay so I had my live show The other day And I had Chris Burns A.K.A. Fat Carrie Bradshaw And Blakely Thornton Okay Who are two of my Best gay guy friends Um

And I said, what do we think of the Armie Hamill debacle? And they go, straight people are adorable. That they are like freaking out about this. No fucking way. It was so funny, Paige. They were like, this is the least freaky thing we'd see on Grindr. Like, this is nothing. Straight people are fucking...

fucking prudes and they were like army hammer would be like just popular and grinder here's the thing if it was look i totally believe these women that are like he's emotionally abusive of course he has he's six five and he's a multi-millionaire and he's fucking hot he's emotionally abusive i could have told you that a mile away that's why he was my number one okay yep yep yep

If some of like the sexual acts, which like most of the girls did say like the sexual acts were consensual. If that's true, like, OK, like you guys are like you did that. But if it was like a forced thing, then, yeah, unacceptable. For sure. So right. Like he's six, five, hot, famous, rich, clear narcissist. Yeah. At what point?

Do the dirty texts go too far? And, like, when does it become... Like, how many of these girls were like, that's fucking weird, but it's super cool telling my friends I'm fucking Armory Hammer. Like, you feel like you're signing a deal with the devil. For sure. Okay, I'll let this guy suck my period blood, but... No, I'm just kidding. But who knows? Oh, wow, that...

I bet, honestly, Armie Hammer was so into that. The one girl was like, when she was describing it, she was like, look, I was intoxicated by him. He's fucking gorgeous. He's Armie Hammer. He comes in. He's saying some weird shit, but... He's like, he...

grooms you so quickly and she was like and I didn't realize it until I was so deep in it because in the beginning he makes you feel like he's never felt like this about a girl and he can't believe he met you and he can't believe he feels like this

love bombing and he he said she said he would call her like text her a hundred times a day wants to be with her 24 7 yeah then would do this weird shit and then she was basically taking care of him because he made girls feel like i need you to survive so you get like addicted to someone so besides the weird text what was like the emotional abuse they were saying

That he was just like dominating them and would like control them. Just like very, very controlling. Yeah. Like wants to know what you're doing 24-7. But he was married for a while, right? 10 years. So was this all happening during his marriage?

This is all happening during his marriage. His wife was just like, he also, people are coming back with like articles that he's like previously done. And he said in one of them, he was like, look, you know, like when you're dating someone, like the sex is a little bit kinkier and then you get married and like, you can't pull your wife's hair. First of all, fuck off army hammer. If my husband's not pulling my hair, like get out of my face. Um,

So like it makes me believe that he just had like such a double life because he was like, I'm not going to do this to the mother of my children or like I know she wouldn't be into it. But then there was other girls that came out and were like, he said all of that crazy stuff. But we never went further than like your typical choke, you know? Oh, so it's like more his like fantasy that like turns him on talking about it. But he's not like actually trying to cut your rib out.

Yeah, like he's... Yeah. I mean, and there was one girl that said he did like hold a knife to her while they were having sex. And like a lot of the girls were saying like he was always drinking really heavily. He was always doing drugs. So I wonder if like that if he did more drugs or drank more, he got crazier. Like he didn't know his limit. So it sounds like he was...

It sounds like he needs around the clock therapy just to like see what's going on. But it's such an interesting conversation of like, you ever be attracted to a guy and then you like start hooking up with them and they like turn into kind of a werewolf and you're like, ew, I don't like this like sex side to you. I was just going to ask you, have you ever been with someone and you're like,

not into this okay i am not into spitting like i think okay i like it's my one thing like i don't even like my own spit like i don't like it and there was this sexy sexy australian guy i was hooking up with and everything's good everything's good and then he literally like spit in your mouth it was no it was like he was gonna go down on me and he kind of like hawked a loogie and

And then, like, let it drip all the way down like it was going to hit me. And then, like, it hit my vagina. Okay. And I was like, I need to go. Mom, turn the podcast off for a second. Okay.

Interesting. Oh my God. It's so interesting sometimes because like you're so much more sexually open like in everyday life, but you're actually very conservative where I feel like I'm not going to say I want someone to do that to me out loud. But if someone did, I'm going on the set. Let's just say I'm probably going on the second date. I mean, I'm doing the next date. Paige also, I'm just going to say, choking.

not my thing yeah hannah hates joking here's the okay here's the thing about that but you know i hate joking she hates it's crazy how i know that you hate that um a lot of guys do it wrong do not crush the windpipe do not crush my windpipe thank you my esophagus is right there i do need it for a

It's the side. It's your index finger and your thumb. Lightly squeeze it. Not fucking rocket science. Also, like I like if you push on my chest a little. I like if you like grab my face. Yeah, I'm a big face grabber. Yeah. Like when you like grab my head. And it is an interesting conversation, especially if a guy's fucking drunk and just doing random shit to you. Like not OK. But you're in a relationship understanding like what kinks he likes and what you're into because you do not just want to be doing kinks because he likes it.

I had a girl come on who like a guy loved her peeing on him.

that okay i draw a line there so she would chug all this pedialyte on the subway while she was going to his place because it's like you don't naturally like want to pee on someone so you have to be like bursting i mean you get pee shy for sure and i'm not saying that a kink is immediately associated with like kind of a weird emotional attachment or whatever but she said this guy was like super narcissistic super controlling and like sometimes maybe your kinks

play out some stuff that you haven't worked with on like they manifest and yeah yeah but then also some kinks are just fucking king actually i don't know anything about kinks so like again we are just talking shit on it however yeah here's the thing i just because a guy is hot does not mean that he's going to make you comfortable in bed and they're gonna say going to make you calm

And that is 2021. Just because a guy is hot does not mean he's going to make you come. And I just, for Armie Hammer being reckless, like. It's just, it's so crazy. He's also supposed to star in a movie with Jennifer Lopez, like this like rom-com, whatever. So they're quickly trying to recast him. He made a statement that was like, these accusations are crazy. And like, now I have to stay with my kids because I'm like scared for them. And, um,

I think Lionsgate is the one doing the movie is like being super supportive and whatever. I can't do the movie because he needs to stay with his kids. Yeah. I mean, a PR nightmare. Protect your children. What are you going to do? Take a machete and protect your kids like this isn't a jungle.

It's just so crazy. I'd love to know. I mean, I feel so bad for his wife, too, because one, she's probably just so fucking embarrassed. Yeah. Like I could not imagine. And I wonder if she fucking knew. Like, you know how like motherly instincts like you deep down know, but you don't want to know.

I'm sure she knew he's definitely cheating at some point, and it just got too much. I think the only way he comes back from this is they reboot Hannibal Lecter. I mean, I don't know. His career's done, right? Someone wrote something funny. They were like, so he won't fuck a peach anymore.

But he will cut your heart out and eat it. Men are so interesting these days. I mean, when this happened, really, this is how narcissistic I am. When this all happened, I was like, I have so much paperwork to do now. He was my number one. I have to run numbers. Like, I have to reconfigure my entire list. I always thought the guy was a creep. I always thought he was a creep. You did. That's crazy. You did. And he's also physically my type. I love a 6'5 blue.

Blue eyed Dude You had a weird Instinct that you were Just like I don't know Something sexually Weird with him I'm really glad That my manifestation Like kind of Fucked up a little Yeah It got there with like It went to the wrong page But I had some type Of guardian angel That was like Let's put you this way Like

You've been through a lot. You've been through a lot. And why don't we why don't we keep your blood in your veins? Thank you. Thank you. But how many guys in Hollywood right now have like weird fucking kinks? Like I could see Brad Pitt having kinks. Allegedly, I could see. I mean, Johnny Depp for sure has kinks. Allegedly. Sure. I feel like there's a few things that like I just would not fuck with. Like peeing. Absolutely not. Get out of my face. Just.

Do not go anywhere near my feet. I don't want it. But there's something to be said about if it like the guy is so turned on by it. That's like pleasurable to turn a guy on that I'd be like, like if a guy wanted you to put your finger in his butthole or like lick his butthole. I don't know. Because I don't know if I could do it. It makes their orgasm so much better. Okay. That hard. No, no.

What if he's like, you're the one I want to marry. And like, we'd have the most wild sex, like,

I'd have to really love him. We'd have to be so in love. But I don't think I've never been asked to do like anything crazy like that. Yeah. And I know a lot of I know a lot of guys who do some like crazy things like have harnesses and like, yeah, you know, remote control electrifies people. Yeah. Remote control things. And I'm like, whatever, if that works for you.

Mazel Tov. I don't know. But it's like finding the right fit. And it's like when a guy is so powerful like Armie, it could be tough because you're like, I want to enjoy this. I wish I did because then I could be with Armie Hammer. But also he's fucking married. The craziest part isn't that he cheated on his wife for 10 years. I know that. We're past that. Everyone's disregarding that. Yeah, we're disregarding that. I was like, who are these women? I know.

They literally separated in 2020. They got married in 2010. Like, he was with one girl, I think, for, like, four years. Holy shit. Do you know that this stuff has been out for a while? About ARMY? Yeah, like, I remember seeing little text messages and stuff, but, like, nothing caught on. And I really think this week, in particular, people...

people are really shook by the Capitol riots. People are, there's a spike in Corona. So people are just like, like, why do you think that blew up? If we were working and life was normal, do you really think that story would have blown the fuck up? And every comedian would have done a different video being like, I'm from Boston. No, like this week in particular, no,

That army hammer stuff has been just floating around the internet. Like, do you know who's behind all of it? It's time. You know, who's Kris Jenner. You know, she's like, look, we need something. Is there any update with the divorce?

So I've been looking at articles and one article that the Daily Mail put out was like, it's fine. Like they have no bad blood. Like they're totally cordial. And I'm like, their PR is amazing. And then I saw another article that was like, they're already divorced. Like someone said, like they like pretty sure like she's filing or has filed and it just hasn't come out yet. But let me just touch on quickly the,

How good she's been looking in her Instagram. Like, I feel like she's almost like, like I've loved Kim Kardashian. I don't care what anyone says. I have always loved her. I have always respected her. Like, I don't give a shit how she got famous. She, I think she's, I like her. And like her style is something that I've always watched just because I like to watch celebrity style and I actually love watching it evolve and change. Yeah.

Her style in the beginning was very like normal girl. Like...

You know, like jeans and like a t-shirt. She had side bangs. Yeah, like with like a big belt and she wore juicy sweats and whatever. And then when she started dating Kanye, her style significantly changed. And I liked the way it changed. She was a little bit more monochromatic and like sleek and whatever. I almost feel like she's kind of getting back a little bit to who she was because she's wearing like a headband and like big hoop earrings. Oh my God, no. I was about to say people...

found a photo and they were like this jacket kane would never approve yeah like and it just she almost there's something about when you break up with someone whether it was like a good relationship or not that you kind of like go back into like how you were before in like a good way like you get back to your personality and you can look better like i had a lot of people when i was like post breakup come up to me and be like you look like a little different

Like, did you do something? And I was like, no, I just think I feel like I'm making the right decision. Like a fucking Phoenix. And you're back to like that solo person of like when it was just you alone at night with your own thoughts. But you are right. You're evolved. Like you're not that one before. But imagine a guy controlling what you wear. Like I'm not saying he controlled it. Like if I had to ask. I've had boyfriends comment and be like, I like when you wear this shirt or like I don't like when you wear that. And kind of pisses me off.

If any guys are listening to our podcast, the number one way for me to become obsessed with you is just to be like, wow, you have a fire outfit on right now. Let's see what's next. Oh, my God, Hannah. Oh, my God, Hannah. Okay, so this next story, I literally had to keep my mouth shut on the phone with Hannah because I wanted her initial reaction to be on the podcast. Azealia Banks.

is trending on Twitter. Started on Tuesday morning because there was a video that she posted on Instagram and which appears to be she dug her cat up from the backyard. Her cat passed away. She dug up his remains. No. And she boiled it. No. Wait, is she dating Armie Hammer? No. No, no, no, no. How long has this cat been dead? Mm-hmm.

Like kind Maybe like a year No I don't know I okay I don't know I don't know that one What she boiled Okay so like There's a video I'll send you I'll send you the video Um

Of her taking a bag out of the ground and being like, oh, kitty. And then the next video is like dirt in like a pan, in like a pot and her stirring it with a wooden spoon. And you can see like a skull. No. Mm hmm.

Is this some, like, witchcraft? I don't know. She's trying to, like, bring it back? It's fucking insane. Now, like, I think that's crazier than Armie Hammer wanting to cut my finger off and put it in his fucking pocket. You know? Like, go off if that's... Don't do it, but, like, if you think about it, fine. I don't know. We need some, like, good news. Let's do some good news since we're reconfiguring my famous people list. Post Malone donated 10,000 of his sold-out Crocs to frontline workers.

I love him so much. That's why I'm him for Halloween every year. It's your best costume ever. I love him. Like, I love everything about him. My mom, I was on FaceTime with my mom the other day and I was talking about Post Malone because, like, I have to tell her. And my dad was like, who is that? And she goes, do you want to see who your daughter loves? He has face tattoos. Do you want to see?

I was like, mom, this is not serious. Like, I'm not actually going to date Post Malone, but I do love him. I thought that was a nice story. And my last story is. That was nice. I mean, besides the Crocs part, that was nice. Crocs are really in right now, Hannah. And I actually think that we are going to get involved.

We'll talk about it offline, but we're going to have a moment. And I think that like we might get a pair of Crocs and we might wear them with sweatpants. I'm very open to look if it's a trend. Like I want to be in it. You know, I want to be cool. But will it be trendy in the summer when like you take it off and you have spots on your foot because of a weird tan line?

No, that's why we're gonna do it like springtime We're gonna wear like tube socks with it and we're gonna wear sweatpants and crop top Do you have any rules for tube socks? I don't think so. I think it's a trick question What would dad do? I just bought some and I just want to make sure I don't break a rule No, I wear them with sweatpants Do you wear it over your sweatpants? I wear them with skirts

So my friend Dominique does And for some reason hers always look good Mine I never look good I look like I'm like in 1815 And I'm like delivering the paper Like I don't know Like I look like a young apprentice boy Like a young apprentice I don't know It's so such a weird look I just ordered some on Instagram

amazon i got like a pair of nike like couple pair of nike ones and then just like regular white ones they are great though especially if you're wearing like high heel boots like you need a tube sock amazing and i love them with like nike air maxes i love air force one love love love um there are certain things that you buy every single summer sandals sunscreen snacks

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And this is my last story. Like quickly, Tom Girardi is his brother has filed a declaration for I can't believe he's Thomas 81 for involuntary bankruptcy case brought by creditors claiming he's suffering from short term memory loss and needs a conservatorship. OK, Britney Spears. Tom is good. Tom is good. But like, what's the bankruptcy part?

Well, he, like, has to file bankruptcy. He filed bankruptcy because, like, he owes so many people money and, like, didn't pay, like, his old partner, didn't pay, like, people from lawsuits. Honestly, this is so much stress. Like, when I'm 81, I just want to be worried about, like, what Jeopardy am I going to watch today? What piece of cake am I going to have for breakfast? Is someone changing my diaper? Like, that's all I need to know. Yeah, like, which cat do I want to adopt today? No. That is, imagine at 81 dealing with this kind of stress. Yeah.

it's actually kind of scary like very scary this could kill him this like i mean i would be so i wish that on him i would be so anxious he's done some real fucked up shit apparently allegedly yeah and also erica is still posting having fun with it she does not give a shit i can't wait to see that but she might be in trouble with him right yeah yeah

There was like some crazy meme. Hold on. I like have to go to her Instagram immediately because she posted some picture and the caption was like by appointment only. And the meme was like, Erica, it's called visiting day. Like she's in jail. So funny.

She does her interviews from jail. It really got me going. I also sent Hannah a meme the other day from Bridgerton and it was like fuckboys in 1812. And the caption was like, I regard you so highly, which is why I can't marry you. And I sent it to my mom. My mom has never laughed harder in her entire life.

Because like the amount of times guys have been like, no, no, no. I like you so much. That's why like I can't date you because like I don't want to hurt your feelings, you know, like because I like like you. It's the craziest thing ever. Well, it's time to wrap up with pep talk time. Yes, let's do it. I have like a more difficult question than a fun question. So the more difficult one.

Is it messed up to keep hanging out with a guy you have no intention of dating? So it sounds like she kind of like he likes her more than she likes him. Wow. I hope I didn't sign my name with this one. Well, it depends. Does he have an intention of dating you? Yeah. Like, are you guys just like chilling and like having sex and like in the talking phase or

I think once it gets to him being like, hey, are you hooking up with other people? That's when you need to like cut it off. Because like if you're just fun and flirty and dating and like he knows you're seeing other people, then like whatever, you're filling your time. Like I'm the kind of person, though, like if I am having sex with someone, I want to feel like they love me. Like I don't like. No, like you can't hang out with someone in a romantic setting if you if you don't want to date them, like you just want to do it.

Um, no, I've hung out with guys I don't want to date, but, like, I have to like them and be attracted to them. But I'm saying if you get emotionally involved with it, even if you don't want to date them, it is going to end badly always. Like, because if you're having sex all the time, you have to have some kind of trust with each other. So, like, eventually when you cut it off, it will feel like a breakup. So you can say, like, we're not dating, but, like, you are dating in a way. So there will be a breakup. And it's also, like, it's kind of like the adult thing to do to be, like...

It hurts, but it's the adult thing to do to be like, hey, I have no intention of dating you. I had a guy say that to me one time and like in the moment I was like, you fucking asshole. But like when I went home, I was like, actually, that was like so big of you. Like, yeah, OK, we weren't going to date. Like, thank you for letting me know that. Like, I'm not going to waste my time. And then listen to those words. Don't be like, oh, he's playing hard to get. Right. He's not. He's strong.

certainly not. I think she needs to know if like this guy wants is like trying to date her because he might be in the same boat. Like, no, I just like chilling with you. But also remember we're in a pandemic right now and like you, we need human touch and you need human connection. So I totally understand just having like a boy toy on the side to like get attention from. And like, sometimes, you know, it's not more than that. And it's, and it's okay to get attention sometimes and not think I need to marry this man. I mean, she did.

the classic like she flirted herself into a relationship accidentally you know it's just like every it happens i feel like i you know but remember all is fair in love and war and if it's not meant for you get out yeah um now the fun question if you could only have one snack the rest of your life drunk or sober what is that snack easy peasy reese's peanut butter cups oh you went sweet mm-hmm

It's so funny because the first thing that came to my head was... Wait, can I guess yours? Yeah. One snack. One snack. Like this is like snack that you would get at like the bodega. Like it's sold there. Oh. I was just thinking like... Well, what I was going to say is the first thing that came to my head was cheeseburger, which is like not a snack. Not a snack. That's a meal. I have ordered cheeseburger as a side before at a restaurant. I got brunch like a...

And then I was like, can I have a cheeseburger on the side? And they were like, that was when I was in college. I was burning a lot of calories. Don't fucking judge me. You're like, that's an entree. But sure. If that makes you feel better calling it aside. They were like, do you want us to bring it after everyone's meal? I was like, just bring it. Shut the fuck up and bring it.

Really, the omelet was the size. I know. What is my snack? I never eat them, but what are you going to say? It's interesting because you're not really like a snacky person. I'm not snacky. But I would say pretzels or goldfish. Okay. Do I not know you at all? Those are like not fun. No, no, no, no. But it's like a snack. You do. Those were cute, but I want you to think like Doritos. Doritos.

okay i love cheese puffs you like cheezettes but i just have to also say one more thing okay i recorded chat room and um they had to decide which one of us were sex in the city girls and i got picked as miranda and like i don't know how to like go back there like i feel like it's not a safe space for me i feel like people don't understand me no like it literally happened like so fast the next you know i was miranda

And like, that's how I feel about like pretzel being like the most epic snack that I'd ever eat. Hannah, I'm going to tell you something and I want you to listen to me. Those people are not your friends. Do not ever let someone tell you that you are the Miranda. You're better than that. I was like, guys, I talk about vaginas every and dicks and farting every single episode. How am I not even a little Samantha? Also have two podcasts. Can I be Carrie?

Oh my God, I'm offended for you. Kate took Carrie. Kate took Carrie. Portia took Samantha. And Giselle was Charlotte. The casting's all wrong. And then I was like, and they said it's because they didn't have a reason. They did you dirty. They said it was like because she was a lawyer. And I was like, um, what? You're like, I was a college athlete.

Does that not mean anything to you? I ultimately, though, like I try to stay healthy by not snacking and just like binging really hard. Are mozzarella sticks considered a snack or is that an appetizer? Is what? Mozzarella sticks? No. Hannah, a snack is like a processed food that comes in a bag. Like you're naming meals. That's the thing. You're not a snacker, so it's hard for you to pick. You're like if you're hungry, you're like.

should we order chicken melanase? Like, it's like, we should probably get the lasagna platter. Bring me the head of a pig. Anyway, you guys, thank you for giggling with us today. We love you guys so, so, so, so much. Gigglers, I just want to let you know that like, I fuck with you heavy. I can't explain it in words, but I just like, I'm really down for you guys. We love you guys so much and let's just never stop giggling. Bye.