Giggling about Bethenny, private poopers, and brotox
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my Gigi Gigglers? Gigi Hadid Gigglers. Gigi Hadid. So, I was in Ireland talking to Dez's very cool niece about Gigi Hadid, and he was like, wait.

No way. And he said, he goes, so Gigi. And I go, Des. So now she's Gigi. And he goes, well, you didn't correct me before. And I was like, I didn't mean to correct you now. The jig is up. The jig, the gig is up. The gig is up. Oh, goodness gracious. What we really need to talk about is if people don't know, and they should know by now, Hannah is highly respected on TikTok. She is the internet's Hannah burner. Um,

We have to talk about the Bethany Frankel TikTok that you did and then that she duetted. Also, thank you for sharing it. That was so nice of you. It was...

iconic the funny thing is is that hannah's been talking about doing one of these videos for so long and i was like you have to do it like it is so perfect and she's the person perfect person to like make fun of because she's like self-deprecating and she like knows that it's comedy but she's a housewife that like i actually don't have a connection with like she is friends with michael rapaport who i'm friends with but besides that like

We don't, it's not like me and Lou who like, you know, drink froze Fose together in the Hamptons.

But, Paige, you know I think of hundreds, maybe thousands of stupid video ideas. If you guys don't know, Bethany does these makeup reviews, but they're going viral because they're just fucking raw and they're so Bethany. She's saying, like, random business lingo. Yep. She's cursing like a sailor. She's throwing it. She's, like, she just puts it on random parts of her face and keeps adding on it. Like, it's so funny. And I'm like, I have to do this. But I knew I had to do it well because, like, I also –

as both of us know we don't like being like mean like mean is like cheap funny right so i filmed the video and i'll be honest that was the first take thing and i post it and the first thing i do is send it to page when like there were no views on it yet i just sent it to page and page laughed and i go okay if page laughed i don't give a fuck

I don't give a fuck. Page up. It was so good. It was so spot on. Have you watched her videos before? Yes. When you were just like, it's business. It's personal. It's not personal. It's business. This can hang. This can hang. Do you know I actually wrote down actual sayings that she said? Yeah. You did research. Once she literally was like, this is crap. I'm giving it to my housekeeper. Yeah.

once she did yell this is like um apples to orangutans which is genius but then i saw her she did have a gash in her forehead because she like got hit with a clothes hanger and i'm like okay this is my sign that like this someone needs to do a video so everyone's commenting and tagging her and that's when you realize it's so niche

It's so niche. And also, I post a lot of stupid videos that no one sees. So when you post a video, you don't know if Bethany's going to see it. But people start tagging her. And I'm like, uh-oh. And then people are like, she's going to love it. And then someone's like, I don't know. And then I start getting nervy. I start getting nervy. But I had a good feeling about it. And then she wrote, stop. And I was like, oh, no, this is some Hailey Bieber shit. And then she wrote, stop.

lol and i was like i love that she loved it i was like this is good she reposted it and i messaged her on instagram and i was like thanks for the repost holy shit balls i love it because she goes holy shit balls this conceal is amazing so she responds she goes just wait till i do a duet and then i was like okay well i have to cancel all my plans today to wait for bethany to duet this

And I have to drop some tea that no one knows. No one knows that Des told me. Des and Bethany matched on Raya back in the day. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. And you know what? When I think about it, Des is so her type. Oh my God. Could you imagine? I mean, honestly, it could have been me or Bethany. I feel like Bethany would be a giggler.

It's no nonsense, no shit. But like underlying anxiety. Yes, underlying anxiety. Doesn't like working out. Can't do a physical activity.

Just like a lot of snacking, trying to like make it any way we can. Curses a lot and says things that your own mother would be ashamed of. Figuring it out day by day. But she loves her daughter. She has a close relationship with her daughter. Yeah, we love that. Has a sexy man. Has a house in the Hamptons. They're not married, are they? I don't think so, but they're engaged. He's hot. He is hot. But yeah, a strong crosswind. And it could have been Des and Bethany. I don't think they actually messaged on it.

They just matched. He also matched with Venus Williams once. Oh my God. And he did message her. So now whenever she comes on the screen, I'm like, oh, it's your girlfriend. I feel like, oh, don't you love doing that? But that actually does happen to me on television. Oh God. Wait, you are Bethany and Venus in a person. Oh my God. Wait, that is so funny. If Bethany and Venus had a love child. It would be you. Oh my God.

Just like this tennis entrepreneur. Oh, my God. That is so amazing. I love that. So, yeah, Bethany's a giggler. Amy Schumer did like the video. I mean. I think it's because you posted it. What could be more iconic than just all of our friends getting together? Wait, have you seen Amy Schumer's TikTok video with. Of Andy Cohen. It's all getting too close.

But you know what's fucked up? I watched her video of making fun of reunions and I was like, no, don't come for someone's family. Like I was like, she has a point. It was so good. I love when they do like parodies of like housewives. Like they do it on SNL a lot, but they used to like Disney princesses. Like they were all housewives. Like that was so funny. So fucking iconic. But I do think the Gigglers appreciate our new best friends because they realize like

We're just two girls who were fans of Vanderpump Rules and randomly got on a Bravo show. Like, we didn't ask for this. Like, we are just fangirls trying to live our life. The other day, I was... Yesterday, Craig and I were at this breast cancer walk. And really, like, we were...

getting drunk with a bunch of people in a random bar. So you blacked out at a breast cancer charity event. So I literally blacked out at a charity event and ended up holding someone's baby. Like, I don't know where the day took me. You did look a little too comfortable, but... I know. I did get... I did have, like, a weird sensation in my gut. Like, my ovaries were like, oh, my God. Yeah.

But these two girls came up to me and they were like obviously gigglers and we were like chatting and then like some guy yelled like, well, like, wait, where do they know you from? Like, I don't know. Like, what should I know you? And my only response and I feel like it was the best response ever. I was like, so niche, like you wouldn't get it. It's a very niche community that we have. It's like a highbrow niche. It's highbrow.

Like you wouldn't get the comedy part of it. And but it's funny, guys do love Summer House. Like a lot of dudes love Summer House. But Giggly Squad is like where we're safe from. Yeah. Giggly Squad is like a totally different subset. So funny. So what are the gigglers in Delaware like?

The gigglers in Delaware are amazing. Well, here's what happened. Added to the list of reasons in breaking up with Craig. He literally tricked me in Aruba, took me on a hike. He then tricked me in Delaware because he was like, oh, we're going to this like breast cancer like charity event. It was a 5K.

and I looked at him oh no no no federal court I literally looked at him and I was like I can't federal I can't do a 5k I was like I don't even know what a 5k is I literally don't know but it's a lot I was like five thousand dollars eternity

I'm not running $5,000. Do I have to count to 5,000? I can't even do 10. I was like, I can't do that. And he was like, don't worry, we're not doing the actual race. Like if we get there early, we can do like the walking part. I think my body had such a visceral reaction to the thought of being in some type of marathon that I woke up the next morning with a UTI. What?

Like I'm in the shower like at 8 a.m. getting ready for this fucking walk race thing. And my body was just like, not us. You guys, UTIs are so mental. If your boyfriend lies to you, you will get a UTI. And it's your body telling you to get out.

Or like close your pussy up. It's like do not let him inside until he's honest with you. Walked out of the bathroom and I was like, I can't go. And he was like, Paige, come on. And I was like, no, I literally have a UTI. I have to go to the doctor. So I had to call to get like a prescription sent to the doctor. I'm literally dying. I was like, don't tell anyone. Like don't tell your mom why we're late. Like this is so embarrassing. Two drinks and me. I told everyone. I was like, I actually have a UTI. No.

That became your whole personality for the day. You're like, it's the bitch with the UTI. I was like, do you think alcohol is good for a UTI or like good in a bad way? You're just drinking cranberry vodkas like this is for my UTI. But this is the thing. I'm very I have a very high pain tolerance. Like I literally got my perineum lasered and I was like, ow. But then I was fine.

UTI is another level of like discomfort. Like you always felt like you had to pee, but you couldn't pee. I was like trying to explain it to Craig the other day. I was like, you don't understand what the pain is. He was like, oh, it just burns when you pee. No. And I was like, that's chlamydia, Craig. I was like, yeah, it burns. But like when you're not peeing, like it still hurts. Like you're still so uncomfortable. So whatever. We missed the walking race part of it.

Also, speaking of lying to your boyfriend or your boyfriend lying to you, I saw a TikTok that was so genius. If you're like trying to make a guy jealous, this is a little toxic, but healthy. Yeah, I love it. And you're like, oh, I should be going out, like meeting new guys, flirting, like making him jealous. Don't.

make yourself go out literally just put on a music video of people partying in a club and put your phone I saw that up to the screen and just make it like you're drunk at a club for 10 seconds done and then don't post for like two days it couldn't it couldn't have been better like I I have girlfriends that like the

This is, like, a couple years ago when we were all single and we would, like, be talking to multiple people and, like, whatever. And she would post pictures of her, like, all dressed up, like, on a Wednesday night and be like, dinner. And I'd be like, but you're not going to dinner. And she was like, he doesn't know that. Or, like, post a glass of wine with, like, apple juice in a cup or, like, a beer and just put it in your apartment. Or find a friend like me who has hairy knuckles. Yeah.

And have them cut their nails and just like put it slightly in the frame. See, I feel like my go-to is posting nothing. Yeah. Because I'm like, I don't even want them to know I'm alive. You're so Scorpio, but you're so good at being mysterious. Yeah. I love being like, I want you to wonder. I want your brain to go so crazy that like, what is she doing that she can't post? What?

She doesn't want anyone to know what restaurant she's at with a different guy or like is she on her couch in her apartment? No, you're so good at being mysterious. You should write a literal like e-book on how to be mysterious. I'm that girl on TikTok that like tries to be mysterious for two seconds and I'm like, wait, I have to tell you guys a story. You're literally that TikTok sound that's like, and I'm not telling you. Okay, I'll tell you everything.

Like I just started shot in the dumping immediately and people were like, shut the fuck up. So yeah, I'm jealous of that for you.

what else is happening oh i do have some announcements we have a second show in atlanta that's on sale holy shit two shows in atlanta sierra is coming it's gonna be so lit we're probably gonna go to a strip club i'm so excited i've never been to atlanta i can't wait because you want to know what huge fan of the atlanta airport and it's the only thing i've ever seen in atlanta and if it's anything like their airport i'm down with it what do you think i just think they have a

great airport lots of planes it's just efficient everyone's you know it's just I like it I feel good when I'm there this is my ADHD speaking but like

I couldn't tell you the difference between JFK and LGA. That's insane. I just show up to places and I don't process it. I just show up to stages and put a mic in and I go, where is this? One of my favorite moments of you, and I don't even know why nothing even happened, seeing you walk into the baggage claim section in Vegas. Just being like, hey. Just scared.

I was there for 10 minutes before I found you just like roaming. That airport. I was like, this is the biggest airport I've literally ever seen. I will literally get out of a subway and be like, where do I think I should go? And I'll be like left and then I'll turn right. That's how I feel when I get out of the movie theater. I'm like, anyone could beat the shit out of me right now because I have no idea what's happening.

I think about it every time I walk out of the theater. I'm like, I could get jumped right now and I'd be so like sleepy and be like, I don't know. I'm actually starting my Midwest tour with my mom. My mom's coming on Tuesday.

wait that's so fun we're going milwaukee and i'm seeing some girls who i play on the tennis team with which is fun then we're going to fucking go badgers we're going to madison that's exciting what day two shows on thursday so it's thirsty thursday and i told everyone i was gonna go the kk after which is the bar the oh my god you'd love the kk isn't it crazy now that we're like 30 and like they're 18 yeah

It's but it's spirit. OK, it's college spirit. We're all right. Got it. That's what I'm telling myself. And I just want the Gen Z's to love me. But then I also have some tickets available for Minneapolis. That's like in two or three weeks and Grand Rapids. I'm going to Grand Rapids where Haley's from. Wow. Michigan.

I wish she was going to be there. I know she's not, which is like, we need to bring her on stage one time and have her perform singing. She sings. She does sing. Only when he used it. No, only when he used it. She only picks the hardest song that was ever written to man. And she goes straight for the jugular. I'll tell you that she doesn't hold back. I'm also meeting Lois, my brother's child, Lois. Wait, you're an aunt.

What are you? Are you Aunt Hannah or are you Aunt Hannah? I'm Aunt Hannah B. Whatever she feels. But this is the thing. There's a legit competition happening between my brother's wife's sister and me.

Because. Yeah. Oh my God. Like we were kind of joking in the beginning, but I think it's real. It's totally real. Like I'm literally going to go up to Lois and start like doing the subconscious. Yeah, you have to already. How does your paper not have a paper on it?

Because you're already getting this child's brain. The other aunt, aunt, whatever, lives in Indiana. So she already has one. But I'm going to play the Paige Mysterious card where it's like, who's my mysterious aunt in New York that keeps sending me gifts every week? Yes, that's the goal. You're Aunt Hannah who lives in New York City who just sends random Cartier to the home. Yes, like in small doses of me.

me is my prime. Aesthetic. Yes. We love a small dose queen. So that's my goal. I can't believe you're like a real life aunt. Well, Des, Des's brother has kids. So I was an aunt through marriage. Mm hmm.

But this is like biological. And this is like I'm going to see this baby like fresh, like rare out of the womb. Like still like. Like you're going to get to smell its head. Wait, so when you held this baby in Delaware, whose baby was this? I have no idea whose baby this was. All I could think of was Sweet Home Alabama. Sweet Home Alabama. And she's like, you have a baby in a bar. That's all I was thinking when I was holding it.

This baby, this is the craziest part. Usually when babies get handed to me, they look at me and they're like, absolutely not. Immediately start crying. This baby was, this baby was fucked up. Like this baby looked at me, opened literally one eye and was like, all right, cool. And just went back to sleep on my shoulder. And I was like, I'm obsessed with you. You were giving a little Emrata aesthetic. I was giving, I was giving fall accessory. You were giving fall accessory.

I was like she posted that for life I looked at the picture his hand Was like curled up and I was like It's a photo figure it out You're like Tyra Banks in America's Next Top Model You're like what's going on with your pinky in that Relax it Long necks long necks I'm a little jealous of babies Because they can be like such assholes Like literally only care about themselves Like throw attention for no reason Throw stuff at people and everyone's still like Oh it's so cute but when I do that

When we were in the Aruba airport, there was this baby crying and all I could think was like, wow, you're so lucky. Like, I would love to just burst into tears right now and nobody give a shit. No, literally on a flight when a baby's yelling, it's like, do you not think we are upset right now? In the middle seat. No. Like, I don't have the appropriate snacks either. Like, I'm pissed. I need to poop also, but I'm on the window and I'm too much of a people pleaser to ask people to,

I'm also feeling constipated and nobody's burping me. People don't talk about how gassy you get after you do a flight on a flight and after a flight. I do have to say whenever you smell like a horrible fart, that was me on a flight. I mean, so, you know, some people are like, I only poop at home. I only fart in the other room. I actually do only poop at home.

Other than the time that you cursed me and I took a shit literally in the middle of a street. In the middle of 32nd Street. Like I was never one of those kids. I would get horrible stomach aches at school as a child because I would rather die, die than poop at school. I never did it. Not one time. I think I did it one time in high school because I got my period. Other than that, never. See, I also think it's my pooping.

like anxiety yeah like i will poop a little bit every time i sit down like it's just like my life is like one poop with little breaks in between no you literally you have ibs

At the plane, they gave me gnocchi with mascarpone, which is... That'll go right through me. Mascarpone is basically like cheese with whipped cream. You know, literally, I was just going to say, it's like whipped cream cheese. It's like ice cream cheese. So I was like... You're not fooling anyone here. This is ice cream and cheese. Yeah. And then they gave a side of mozzarella with like... Because you need a side of cheese with your cheese. Yeah. They gave...

ice cream yeah so i was just like bye bitch yeah and then i arrived with des and i was farting like most of the time i feel like you enjoy the smell of your farts like low-key let's be honest you know how like everyone else is grossed out but you're like

that's her no like you know what your own smell like yeah like your brand like you're like she's kind of cute yeah i was grossing myself out i was grossing myself out and i was like there's a fun thing about long distance where like when you first see them you still get the nerves of like does he like me so i literally was like in the car since covid his smell hasn't been fully back which has been good for our relationship but like

You are so farty after a six-hour plane ride. Like, there's something with the air. Well, yeah, you get bloated, too. Like, I walk off like a balloon. So, I did survive it, but I did fart the first, like, 48 hours after I landed. And you do it? Like, it makes noises, and you do it just in front of him? Oh, I try not to make noises in front of him, but sometimes I do. And he's, like...

He'll call me out. Yeah, I mean. Like, there's two types of people. When someone farts, you can either, like, let it go, be empathetic, or the person who's like, who did it? Like, okay, fuck, who turned you into a fucking investigator? Like, fucking CSI Miami here. You're like, who tilted? Is he ever like, Hannah, come on, don't do that? That's what he does. No, he just goes, gross. Like, he'll get up.

he'll leave the room and it's like an accidental fart like i literally was like trying to hold it in and it was like and he'll be like i have a stomachache i know i can i've never i've never

I got... I mean, like, the universe is laughing somewhere at me. Because when I had my... What's it called? When my thing almost exploded. Your appendix. My appendix removed. To do the surgery, they inject you with all this air. I forgot you got your appendix removed. I almost died. No one cares. When was that? I was filming chat room. And my stomach was killing me to the point that I unzipped my pants during chat room. But...

This is a daily occurrence that my stomach hurts. So I just was like, okay, we're having a stomach ache. And then I started getting like a severe pain of like... It was like you ate something really hot. You know how it burns in your throat and chest? Imagine that in your stomach. I got my appendix out. Oh, yeah. And yours like exploded or something. Yeah. My burst. I know exactly the feeling you're talking about. We're literally like cats with nine lives. But the funniest thing about my mom is, yes, she's like Italian on her shit all the time. But she goes...

it's your appendix i'm like mom it could just be like a lot of poop and she's like no i've been waiting for this day i've been researching it no yeah because you almost get like i would get stomach aches every single day like leading up to it for years and it was just like oh i just like i have i get stomach aches more than the average person and then after i got my appendix out i didn't get as many now i look like i got a belly button piercing yeah or

I look like I went to spring break in Daytona Beach. It is such a weird feeling. I was like, I was in third grade and all I kept saying to my mom was, I think I'm having a baby, which is probably not great. Was it great for your reputation?

My mom was like, okay, this is going to hang out of hand. When did you first find out how babies are made? I always just thought it was like two naked people being together. I thought when you wanted a baby, you went to the hospital and he unzipped his pants. And you unzipped your pants and then you touched the baby.

I thought it was basically that too. Like you just like touched naked, but I didn't like know what it was. And then like my slutty friend in like fifth grade was like, that's not what it is. And then she told us like what a blowjob was. I was like, oh my God. I was the older sister. So I didn't know anything. And I remember hanging out with my friends and,

And they were like, I'm horny. Like with another guy, she was like, I'm horny. And I thought she had like horns on her body. No, that's made up. Like being a child and being horny is made up. I'm 30 and I'm still never even horny. I'm like, if you want, sure. When you're 30 and you get horny, you're like, oh, I got to take care of this. It's like too much admin to deal with my horniness and my like daily life.

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.

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The other day, I was actually on FaceTime with Craig, and I was so out of it that I went to scroll his face. I felt so bad. I have never done that. Wait, wait, wait.

I had to set the scene. I felt so bad. I haven't told anyone this, especially not him. He would literally cry. I was on FaceTime with him and I thought that like I was on TikTok and I was done with whatever he was saying. And I went to scroll it like the next TikTok. And then I remember it. I was like, this is a real human that I'm talking to. And I am mentally done with whatever he's saying. This is the end of society as we know it.

Wait, that is so fucked up. Yeah, it's like when you're on Instagram and you try to leave Instagram to go on Instagram. Yeah. I thought you, imagine you're like, he's like on top of you during sex. You just take your finger and you go on Instagram.

She's like, what's next? I get in trouble because I'll like when I talk to Des on the phone, we do speaker. I think we FaceTime too hard in the beginning. We do speaker. And obviously I'm like going to check my emails. Right.

Right. And I always get caught. If we're on... No, no, no. If we're on the phone, I'm doing other things. I'm probably on TikTok. My brother always makes fun of me because, like, to get off the phone with anyone, I've done this for years, like, I'll just say the most ridiculous things and then be like, gotta go. So now, like, whenever me and my brother are on the phone together, he'll be like, okay, I gotta go shut the refrigerator door. Bye. That is so funny. That is...

i hate when i lie in front of people like are you ever like on the sidewalk and you're like getting in an elevator and someone definitely heard you i do it all the time in ubers and i wonder if the uber driver is like this bitch because i'm like okay well i'm pulling up to like where i gotta go so i'll call you after i like just got in the car there's like 30 minutes left yeah he'll be like it's another 10 minutes i'm like yeah no i know but she'll chat forever during covid like you'd be on the phone and you'd be like

My mom needs me. I gotta go. Like there was no reason. We're having dinner now. Like it's 2 a.m. I'm like gotta go. Speaking of sex. There was like an advertisement that I saw for penis filler. To change the shape or to make it bigger? I guess to make it bigger. But like I don't know why like plastic surgery with girls like it's a nuanced thing. Plastic surgery with men absolutely not.

see you in court botox i'm okay with but like if we're talking about um i don't even think i'm okay with botox like calf implants get out of my face i mean reality tv men definitely i need to ask craig if he's ever gotten botox i don't think he has i think austin might have i feel like what's his name whitney probably did for sure

I need to now inquire about everyone getting Botox. Because I just feel like if I haven't gotten it yet, I don't want my man getting it. I don't like it. Like, that's how I feel. Okay, when everyone's obsessed with that show on Netflix, Outer Banks, I can't look at the main character, Guy, John B., because I'm like, he has his lips done. That's what I thought. Like, I can't. I, it's...

I can there's a spectrum in which I can go metrosexual. I love a man that like manicures himself and like takes like personal hygiene. But it gets then it gets to a point where I'm like,

It's too much. Well, it's also like society's really enabled you guys to get hotter and wiser with gray hair and wrinkles like George Clooney. So like you're also going to take that from us having baby porcelain skin. Yeah. And I feel like I have so much masculine energy in general in relationships. There's certain things that I really need the man to have like masculine energy with. Yeah.

I love that you brought that up because I do think it's so important to talk about how like masculine feminine energy goes back and forth so much in relationships. But I do think with the guy, you don't want to feel too overly, like you want him to bring out your feminine side. Because when I get too masculine in my relationships where I'm like farting on them and cheating on them, it's...

It never goes well when you're just like, do my laundry, bitch. Like that does not ever go well. When I'm murdering them, my masculine energy comes out and I just start decapitating them.

In my body, though, I have more testosterone than I do estrogen. That's why I had to go on birth control. I'm obsessed with that. I know. And I was like, wow, that's why I don't give a fuck about anything. And that's but that's why you're good at business. I walk around like a guy. I'm just like, I don't fuck you. I don't care. Since we were talking about like like TikTok trends and all that shit, skin cycling. Have you seen that? I wanted you to explain it to me.

Okay, I've been doing it and I do think that it actually really works because I even did a hypothesis and tested out different things. So I was breaking out really badly one week, like breaking out with like hormonal like cysts and I was like, what the fuck is going on? I do my skincare every single night. I do my retinol. I do my like acne thing. I do like all of it.

And my mom always says to me, she's like, you put too much shit on your face and your face can't breathe. And that's why you break out. And I was like, mom, you don't know anything. Turns out she does. She always does. So skin cycling is basically five days. So the first day you wash your face, you exfoliate, you do all your exfoliations, you moisturize. This already seems like too much advent. Yeah.

It's a lot of admin. Okay. You have to keep track of the days. Oh my God. This is like my birth control. I'm like, I'm four days late with my exfoliation. Can I just snort some retinol and be even?

The next day you wash your face, you do your retinol. The following two days you just wash your face and moisturize. It has it's basically like giving your skin time to breathe. So then like when you actually put something on it, it absorbs it more. So it's almost like be OK with being lazy and don't do retinol all the time. Don't exfoliate all the time.

You should like I actually don't even go. I even make it longer. Like I only exfoliate one day a week. Like I only exfoliate on Sundays. What I love to do because I'm actually too lazy to like put a serum on all the time. I or like to put SPF on and then also a concealer. I like the mixed thing. So there's this Paula's Choice. That's like vitamin C and a moisturizer. And it's so fucking good. Shout out to Paula's Choice. Also glow recipe is like.

that cute tiktok thing where they just it just smells really good so i'm more likely to put a serum on when it smells like strawberry and in terms of exfoliation i don't use anything that's like beaded i only use a liquid exfoliant yeah don't the beads like kill the turtles or something

The bee, I don't know. I'm sick of saving the turtles. Sorry if that's like an unpopular opinion, but like they're fine. They literally live till 100. They're fucking fine. Someone was hilarious. They were like, how do we know that an animal is extinct? Just because you can't find it? Maybe it's hiding from you. Have you counted all of them? How do you know? Maybe they're mysterious.

um no like anything that's like beaded is actually way too harsh for your skin so i only use like a liquid exfoliator i use like a goop thing oh sorry not sorry oh my god oh my god also i do have to say super goop is by far the best spf to use have you used it yeah it literally feels like it just disappears into your skin as an oily girly i love it interesting

Yeah, I really like it. The only time that I use the beads is for my pussy bumps. Oh, interesting. To prevent ingrown hairs, once a week, just fucking go at it on your bikini line and it won't get tucked in. Yeah, I exfoliate my body also once a week. Wow. Oh, speaking of weeks, I learned that people did research that a four-day work week

gives no loss in productivity. I mean, I do a two-day work week and I'm thriving. No, I truly believe that because when I did a nine-to-five, you work until you get enough done.

that you need to get done and you fill in the blanks and like if you have smaller amounts of time to do the work you actually work harder at the office and i feel like you'll be happier knowing mentally that you have three days off instead of two i feel like my weeks are so fucked up that i don't even know like when my next day is to like okay i don't have to do anything no it's fucked our job is unique we're like because we do a lot of social media like we're never off

And I feel like we do a lot of things on the weekends. I work every weekend, yeah. Yeah, so that's not even like...

I don't have the same days off as like other people. Like my, usually my days off are Monday and Tuesday. Yeah. We have to like give ourselves weekends and you feel bad because other people are like emailing you and stuff, but you're like, I've worked for 14 days straight. Yeah. Like I can't respond to this. But then we also couldn't sit down on a desk and like not cause issues in an office. No.

I worked in one office and everyone hated me. Also, someone said that one really good workout a week is equivalent to like four, like 20 minute workouts a week. Okay. You want to know what I started doing? Oh no. What are you doing?

So remember when I got a personal trainer and I was like, I'm totally doing this. And then I was like, I'm and I was like, I'm not doing this. I'm like, it's for some girlies. It's not for me. Thank you. I have started doing, though, the twelve three thirty on the treadmill. Can you explain that to people? It's you do the height of the treadmill to twelve three.

You do the speed. So you're hanging from the treadmill. Literally bungee jumping in the gym. You're ice picking on the treadmill. Literally. I'm just preparing for the time. Craig's like, we're going now. We're going on. We're hiking Mount Kilimanjaro. How do you spell Kilimanjaro? I don't know. I don't even know where the fuck it is.

Okay, so 12. Incline 12. Incline 12. Speed 3. The first day I did it, I did speed 2.5 because 3 was aggressive. I was like, let's work up to it. And then for 30 minutes...

And it is the easiest thing ever. All I did was go on TikTok and watch all of these girls' videos of, like, I've been doing it for a week. I've been doing it for a month. And, like, it is because I'm not trying, one, I'm not trying to, like, lose weight. I'm also not trying to, like, bulk up. I knew you were going to say that. Nothing you ever do will bulk you up. Yeah, like, I'm not trying to, like, lift weights. I'm just trying to be toned.

and like feel good i do have to say the football players when they had to lose weight they would just do the stepping machine like all day and that's kind of similar to the where you're just at an incline and it really it's not hard on your joints because you're not like banging and going fast and it like it's good cardio and i was just like wow this is gonna make my butt hard and like take away some cellulite on my thighs and i'm happy about it and i literally have done it twice a week

Wow. And that's it. Like I'm like I'm not like trying to kill myself where I'm like, oh, my God. This is why I don't work out because I'm like if I don't do it every single day, like I'm failing. Yep. And then I stop doing it all together. So I was like, whatever. I'm just going to do this once a week and see what happens. And then I did it twice a week and I was like, cool. Added an extra. And if by chance one week I'm like, let's go for three days. Great. If not, great.

So I'm not stressing myself out about it. When I went to Ireland, we played sports every day. And it's like the only way I like to work out. Like we play tennis. We play this game called paddle. We play tennis again. We played lawn bowling, which was very chic. You would love lawn bowling. I feel like I love it. It's literally at a country club. Are the pins mini? OK, it's not really pins.

So it's just this huge, beautiful grass thing. And everyone's like dressed not in sports attire. You have these heavy metal balls that are like they basically curve. So when you throw it, you can either go right to left or left to right based on how you hold it. And you're just trying to hit this like little white ball at the other side. And you would be so good at it. It's like beer pong for a queen. Yeah.

I love that. What an aesthetic beer pong for a queen. Do you know, I recently heard something about Des that was pretty disturbing. What? Cause at 14, he went to Ireland and lived there his whole life. He's never played beer pong. Oh my God. We have to play. I know. I mean, playing you the first time, play beer pong is tough.

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That's a win. Let's do some front page news because I want to know what you think. As an athlete, what do you think about Tom and Giselle? Speaking from an athletic perspective, you mean that they...

Like who's going to win? I kind of love it because... Wait, what do you think about everyone being like Giselle's a witch and she's taking back all the stuff she's given Tom? I don't know. Because Tom would always say that she would do these like rituals and she would do all these like spiritual things and like she's very into like the universe and all this stuff. And then people were seeing after they like...

were saying they were going to get a divorce that he like lost so much weight and he wasn't like playing as good. I hope she's putting evil spells on him. I hope she is. I hope she is too. I'm fully on her side. I'm fully on her side, but I also think it's a great example. Like when Adam Levine cheated on Bahati, even though she's a Victoria's Secret model, everyone was like, well, he's Adam Levine. She's not going to leave him. She needs him. And

I don't know any details of that, but I know for a fucking fact Giselle does not need no Tom Brady. Giselle makes more money than him. She's more famous than him internationally. She does not need that fucking man. Yeah.

And you should never feel like you should want him, but you do not need him. Also, like, I am totally on her side. Like, it's enough is enough. You're in your 40s. You retired. I moved to fucking Florida for you. That in general. How many Super Bowls does this man have to win? How tiny is your dick? Like.

Like it's enough. I think it's a great example of I don't care how tall he is. I don't care how hot he is. I don't care how rich he is. I don't care how famous he is. If he's not for you, you leave. He's not for you. You get out. Yeah.

So they said that the most successful person is a single woman in her like 30s or 40s. Wait, is that a statistic? Yeah. And then the second most successful person is a man with a family. Because think about it. Those motherfuckers. The wife is taking care of all. She's also keeping him in check. She's dressing him up. She's making sure she's giving him advice. But she's taking care of the kids plus her job.

We're tired. So a single woman in her 30s, 40s, 50s with no kids is thriving. No, like as I sit here, I'm just like, I'll kill it. That's why I have my own apartment.

That's why Hannah got married and got her own apartment. You're so Carrie Bradshaw. I think it's great. I have another conspiracy theory. Okay. Look at me taking over Front Page News. I'm sorry. I had a coffee this morning. I love it. There is a conspiracy theory on the New York Times that Kim is like playing checkers were playing chess. So you know that she's like taken over every industry. She's so famous. Yep.

tv social media everything she's starting a murder podcast yeah so she's taking two crime which is stepping on my you know territory but i'm fine with it she's all imagine all the skincare she's injecting stuff into it so we all become zombies anyway no that went too far but the real conspiracy theory is why did she become a lawyer that's so fucking weird right like why it's so weird no one's talking about it it's weird like you're so busy why would you do that

people think that like when she gets older she's gonna run for president and you know what she wants to be the first woman president she's actually more similar to kanye than we think i don't think it's out when you put it like that like i don't think it's out of the realm of possibilities at this point why don't we just have my fat dog run like

You got so mad when I called him fat yesterday. Only I can call him fat. And he's a chunky. Who are you talking about? Him or Craig?

So anyway, if Kimba, because, oh, you know who said it? Girlboss Town. Wow. And she's usually pretty fucking right with her predictions. She also said that she thinks Leo is going to get back together with Giselle, which would be iconic, which is so nostalgic. Iconic. Has anyone checked on Jen and Ben? Are they okay? No. What is going on? I feel like we have to bring back the Pete Davidson t-shirt. If like, what if him and Giselle get together?

Pete isn't a Taco Bell lad. Then that man would just be running rampant. I forgot to tell you this. I got an email the other day that said, Hey, Paige, we would love to invite you as a VIP guest to the Jack Harlow concert.

wait wait wait wait wait wait wait that's what i said is craig sitting next to you right now yeah he's few but it was on friday so i didn't go to it but i could i could only go by myself like they only can't go with the uti like you can't i was like i have a uti wait where was it in new york city um it was at barclays center

oh and they were like will you make a tiktok and a reel and i was like whoa and i didn't if i had gotten like a plus one i like would have gone craig would have killed me though if i like didn't go with him with him to delaware so i like really couldn't go but i was like hannah's not even in the country so i was like this i'm not going it wasn't meant to be at this time it wasn't meant to be you don't want to take the first invite

Right? I was like, no, sorry, I'm busy. No, you have to be mysterious. Wait, but this means like they've, they listen to you as well. I'm on their radar. I love how in front of Craig we're plotting your... Me dating Jack Harlow. It's fine, he knows. I wonder how Jack Harlow makes breakfast. Jack Harlow would have made me fucking toast. I'll tell you that. He's acting like he can't hear me right now. Does he have earpods in? Nope, sir. Right on it.

It was the concert. Oh, yeah. Then I forgot that part. I got invited to the concert, but I also got invited to him being on The Tonight Show, like to sit in the audience at The Tonight Show. That was only one person, too. I was like, I can't go to these events. OK, but also, wait, that's so weird. You're not his fucking like watch what happens live in the audience. Yeah, I was like, I am not going and sit it unless this is bad.

Backstage and we're doing a bit together Like no I'm not going and sitting In the audience You're like unless we're getting dinner Carbone and eating the spicy rigatoni While talking about our biggest fears And dreams Exactly I'm not sitting in the audience to watch you at the tonight show Unless I'm on the couch with you Right it was a whole But it was the universe kind of thrown in a little Yeah cause have you Ever had like other No never once

yeah it's not like a thing that like you go then i thought it was like a scam email at first i was like wait that is a very easy way to scam women hey do you want to come to the jack carlo i was like here's all my money buy a bunch of bitcoin you could go to the jack yeah i was like what's happening you're like i have good news and bad news i'm broke the good news is jack carlo knows i have the bad news i had to sell my house i have no money oh my god um

Any other front page news? No, that was really it. Well, thank you guys so much for giggling with us. We love you so much. Remember, Tix in Atlanta. I'm going to be in Minneapolis, Grand Rapids. Check our website. And we love you. Bye. Bye.