Giggling about bikinis, road tests, and cheerleading
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Get matched at Mattress Firm's 4th of July sale and sleep at night. Text GIGGLESQUAD to 766693 for $100 off your next purchase at Mattress Firm. Restrictions apply. See mattressfirm.com or store for details. Sup, Gigglers? Carrie, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.

Hello, my Gucci gigglers. Yes. Because you just brought up, you may be having to stop by, do some shopping because you're in Italy. I never go on my WhatsApp. Like, I forget that I even have it. Like, I don't.

And when I was in Fiji, that's like all they were using it using. So I like randomly checked it and I have a message from like a number, but it says like margarita. And I'm like, wait, who is this? And so I click into it and it's like, hi, Paige, this is margarita from Gucci and Capri. Like, just wondering where you are. And I was like,

I've never felt more seen. Those are the only people you want texting you. What's her name? Margarita? A personal shopper in Italy is the only people that should be contacting my phone. Also, I downloaded WhatsApp, but I thought I wasn't getting notifications. So I just missed everyone's text for like a year. And honestly, it was quite nice. Me too. I thought it was spam. Like when I get an alert, I'd be like, what the fuck is WhatsApp? I'd be like, gross. I was like, report blocked.

Well, also because it's green. So I was like, ew, get out of here. No, I know. I'm like, please stop texting this number. I don't want to buy what you're selling. But people in other countries, that's all they use. No, Des loves a WhatsApp. You know he does. Yeah. Also, I didn't address last time, just to preface. I did get to interview Brad Pitt. Yes. My mom was like really excited. Your mom was the first one to text me about it.

Your mother has never been so excited for anything I've ever done in my life. I literally was like, oh, I didn't know you were such a Brad Pitt fan. She was like, well, that's very big. Kim DeSorbo texts me and she goes, Zaddy. Not me exposing Kim on the pod, but it really made me laugh. Wait, that's so funny. I did get a lot of texts from moms.

moms about brad pitt like all of my friends moms texted me and yeah but i i guess he's at that point where wait i was just gonna say who is our brad pitt they don't make them like they used to they're frail now they blow away with a little wind you're you're so they're lanky now lanky it's like jacob i would say jacob alordi but he's the gluten allergies yeah

They're lanky. But Brad, not as tall as I thought. And they never are. Not as tall as I thought. How tall though?

I'm going to say like 5, 10, 5, 11, which is fine. Okay. Which is fine. Sturdy. Fine. But I actually, I took a beta blocker, obviously. When I say beta blocker. You immediately turned into Mikey, Mikey Madison. I took a beta blocker. I took a beta blocker. So I was feeling myself better.

This whole thing, they shut down Times Square, which I thought was illegal. They shut down Times Square. One of the blocks was full of race cars. And the other block, they made like a stage. And there were like people sitting, you know, they do in Times Square. And they like put me on the stage. And I was like...

just standing on the stage but low-key i was like this is where i belong just yelling at people in times square on a stage and they were like you don't have to say anything and i'm like i'm pretty sure i'm here to pump up the crowd they were like it's actually live stream so you don't really have to pump up the crowd why do i envision you being like okay and when do i throw the t-shirts i pull out a t-shirt gun and i'm like where's brad

But I'm like standing there and you see the celebrity and then I'm standing on the stage and they have to like walk up to you to get interviewed. So it's like a whole process.

And the whole time, like we didn't know if we were going to get Brad. It was very. And are we going to get Brad? Isn't that so interesting? Like on red carpets, it's like we're here for your movie, but we have no idea if you're going to acknowledge us in the moment or not. A hundred percent. But Brad was kissing every baby, shaking every hand. He literally said hi to everyone in Times Square. Finally comes to me and I'm it went through the beta blocker.

My heart started beating through the beta blocker and I was like, oh fuck, it's Brad Pitt. Cause also they made this big thing. Like at the end, is he going to, he's the last one. He's an A-list guy.

He's larger than life. Well, here's the other thing. Also, like you grew up in New York City, but like even like living in New York City, it's obviously not weird to like see a celebrity on the street. But there are like certain celebrities that if you do see them out in the wild, like you get starstruck. Like I'll never forget the time the first like the first time I saw Leonardo DiCaprio. Like my body physically didn't move. Like I couldn't move. You go limp. Yeah.

Yeah, I was like, wait, but that's Leonardo DiCaprio. Like, that's crazy. And that's like, I feel like that's dwindling. Like that level of, well, social media changed that. Look at us just talking about the world and the state it's in in social media. But everyone's famous now. Everyone's famous. Arguably, people who are less famous are more famous than the famous people. Hannah, yes. Yes.

And do you want to know what? I actually had a thought. I actually. We never pause when we're talking. So if when you pause, I know that shit hit. You're like, wait, stop. Everyone stop. It's so true because you know who I think about all the time. Mary Kate and Ashley want to know why? Because we never see them. And I actually had a thought where I was like, maybe in Italy, I'm not going to post anything. Oh.

Oh, don't tempt me. Don't tempt me with a good time. I'm like, what if I just don't show any of my outfits and I really actually unplug? I'm on the in this place with social media where I'm either like, let's go harder or like, let's completely disappear.

I'm in this place with social media, specifically on TikTok, where I never, I don't even go to the other tabs. Like I don't click my activity tab ever. No, no, no. I haven't done it since 1994. My activity tab? Not for me. If someone else wants to click it, go for it. But it's literally not for me. And so I'm only on my For You page. So if I'm not seeing it on my For You page, like I don't see it. Yeah.

I've actually never gone to my activities place. Only occasionally I'll be on my phone and it'll be like so-and-so mentioned you and Paige and then I feel like it is a giggler. Yeah. And then I click it and then I realize that if I don't respond now, I'm never going to see it again. So then I'm responding to people two seconds after they posted a video about us. That's nice. It's a nice video. And then I creep them out and then they're like, Hannah, get a life, get a job. Yeah. People hate to see me in the comments. Yeah.

I'm like, sorry for being alive. You are up in the comments as you, well, you've been very busy. You've been doing a lot of things and it's time for you to be in Italy rehab. I don't physically know what time zone I'm in. Like my, like I, you're just a girl. It's not your job to understand time, but I don't, you went from 16 hours like ahead in Fiji, which I didn't know was legal.

Then back to New York. Reverse way. I landed Saturday night in New York at 1230. Got to my apartment at 130. Took a shower. Unpacked all of my bags from Fiji.

Started looking at my outfits for Italy. Was like, I should get a couple hours of sleep. Went to sleep at like 3 a.m. Woke up at 7 a.m. Packed all my outfits for Italy until like noon. Then left for the airport. This is my question. Yeah. Are you happy with how the outfits came out? You know...

I'm happier than I thought I was going to be. When I was like on the plane back from Fiji, I was like, what am I even packing for Italy? I have nothing. I mean, you did have 16 hours to think about it, but... Then when I got in there and I surveyed what was happening, what was going on, I have a Daphne story though. So I was gone and I was in Fiji for what, like 10, 9, 10 days. And I was

was just like, obviously just like really missing Daphne. So when I got home, I saw this TikTok earlier that was like, you should tell your pets like what you're doing. Like they know, they can understand like when you tell them. So I got in bed and I like pulled Daphne up and I'm like, I'm so sorry that I was gone for 10 days. Like I was working, but tomorrow I

also have to leave for two weeks but it's okay because we're gonna sleep together tonight hannah i'm not kidding you it's like she looked at me and was like okay got it thanks for letting me know she then slept on my shoulder which she rarely rarely does like if she does that it's like one pause on my shoulder and it's for like five minutes and then she's like had enough

She literally slept on my shoulder, head in my neck for like three hours. I couldn't move. I was going to pack then. And I was like, well, I can't move. Now I'm crying. I'm actually crying. It was like, it was honestly a spiritual experience. How did you not put her in one of your luggages? No, I started tearing up. I was like, you understand what I'm saying. And like, I search, I obviously start chat GPT-ing it. And I'm like, Daphne? Yeah.

What does that mean? It was like, she loves you. She loves you. And also cats do get love starved. Like you'd been gone. And also I am trying to not use my chat GPT. It's really bad for the environment. Everyone keeps saying it. And I'm like, okay, you know what? Let me lay off for a minute. Let's all be honest though. We don't really know how it's connected to the environment, but I believe people. I believe them. I believe them. Just like I believe them about...

plastic straws if chat gpt is killing a turtle i'm off yeah i'm out i i was like i almost told my chat gpt like hey i'm not gonna be around for a little bit have you asked the chat gpt how they're bad for the environment no but that's we should we literally should i just say look google works google works let's just go old school and ask jeeves you know like it'll be fine we want to throw

oh my god ask jeeves um speaking of a throwback yeah i have a documentary i'm excited to watch which one a documentary is coming out about american apparel and what happened wait i saw the a commercial for that i want the tea because that that was my shit

No, American Apparel, the chokehold that American Apparel had on millennials specifically. We both definitely went different directions. My favorite shirt from American Apparel, which is so Hannah coded, was a V-neck.

That was green, but like smoky tie-dye green. Acid wash green. Okay. I wore it with my jeans, my like bell-bottomy jeans kind of. And I was obsessed with it. And I wore it with my push-up bra. And I was like, can you be sexier? I don't think it's possible. What year would you say you were peaking at American Apparel? High school. Okay, interesting because...

I didn't like we didn't have American appearance. We didn't have any like stores and all. I had friends like working in it. Like they were so cool. They like blow jobs and stuff. So I didn't like. Not in the store. HR. I didn't experience it till I moved to New York. So I was like 22. But they had the best going out body suits. Oh my God. I did have this crazy.

crazy bodycon dress that was like black on top, red on the bottom, ass fat, that was snatched before people even talked about being snatched. American Pearl snatched it up. And what happened? They just like disappeared one day. It was just like one day all the stores were gone. No, I know. It's like every billboard just was like burned down. There's definitely like serious drama with it, but they did have interesting marketing. Like the girls were like very sensual and

Yeah. And I think they had weird hiring practices. But the girls had a look. They all had like no makeup. Long hair. Very long hair. Real boobs that were never consistent. So it's like everyone had a different boob shape and they just rocked it. It was very like it was I feel like it was very peak like New York City. Yeah.

um like what dirt bag but like cute it was like you either went to forever 21 or you shopped at american apparel and it was two very different girls and but american apparel was expensive like i remember it was a like forever 21 was cheaper but american apparel too they had like yeah it was the it was the vibe and it's interesting like you starting a brand you think about like

The brand, it was cultish. It was very cult. Yeah. American Apparel was a cult. So anyway, I can't wait to watch that shit. I'm excited for that too. Um, speaking of a cult, I, we are so good at transitions right now. We're literally so good. I watched,

Actually, before I even say this, I watched our new episode of Hannah and Paige try new things. This week, honestly, I think is like one of my favorites. OK, so I watched the like raw footage. I haven't watched the updated one yet, but I had to make an announcement. This is the week that Paige is so much better than me at one of the activities because everyone's been like, it's just Hannah forcing Paige to do things that Hannah wants to do. I do not want to do this shit.

it's aerial yoga yeah you were incredible honestly though when i watched the footage back i wasn't as good as i thought i wasn't like when you're dancing drunk i'm like oh i thought i looked way better you can't tell from it but she would give us an instruction you would just do it where i'd be like like it was like a card game i'm like that made no sense how

It was also dangerous. It's also funny for us specifically because the episodes aren't going... We're not doing all the episodes in chronological order. We're doing them as...

we like that like what we think is like funny to show you guys yeah so like i'm trying to like see like where my mental state was so am i so am i i was like oh she is i'm like oh was this had to be early on in the tour this was you know like i actually felt good at this one and it was i think later in the tour also i could tell there's some where i'm like

you could tell that I'm like not walking in eggshells around you but I'm like really trying to make sure you're okay yeah and I'm just like mute you were disassociating and I'd be like looking at the camera like we're going to so-and-so today Paige is feeling great right we're feeling great we're feeling great

But it is so cool to watch these experience back where I was like, oh, we were so tired and we didn't want to shoot this. And then we did and we had so much fun. Yeah. And like, I don't regret anything. No, it was so fun. Like now I'm like, I'm not doing a tour unless we do like funny stuff. Yeah. But this aerial yoga, if you don't know what it is, I mean, I can't even explain it, but you're in, you're up in the air doing stuff. Yeah. You're in like a, like a circle thing.

And now I know exactly how you felt like when I was in the batting cage and I just like kept hitting balls and I'm like, let's do this all day. Literally five minutes in, I was like,

we're still going like how many more no that was we were there for like 45 minutes but you were just like yeah and cross this leg around this arm and then backwards and up and extend um but it was it was beautifully done no it was it was so much fun our instructor was very patient with us and um we appreciated that we love talking about wellness on giggly squad and sexual wellness is a huge part of that with

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um okay back to my cults oh yeah did you watch the first season of the dallas cowboy cheerleaders did you ever end up watching that first season no you didn't okay so the second season came out just so many thoughts did you ever watch it when it was on cmt like years ago it was a different name it was just so not up my alley yeah and i always got

I always felt like bad for them and I felt like they were over sexualized and I just didn't like it. The show that used to be on television. I can't even think what year that had to have. I mean, that had to have been like 2005 or like in that time range, like early 2000s. It was diabolical. Never be able to be on TV today. Like they'd get canceled immediately. Yeah. So the documentary is a little bit different, but.

they're still women of a certain age in the South. So like, they're still, they're still saying things without saying them. Like they've changed. They've changed from calling a girl fat to just being like, and she's full of life. You know, I'm like, we, I think we know what you, what you mean here. Like this is for sure an HR violation. Like it's,

she's like they're they're like wait can we all next time you want to say you feel fat can you just say i feel full of life today okay i feel chock full of life um god bless her she is full of life so i'm watching there's like eight episodes probably this season was like by far not even close to as good as like the first season was well because the girls are getting paid now

Well, they didn't... Okay, well, they didn't get paid. That's the whole lore. They didn't get that payment change till like after they were done filming. So there's like a group of maybe like five girls that are like...

Hey, we're going to ask the Dallas Cowboys for more money. The Dallas Cowboys are like one of the most successful franchises in all of the NFL. Like if any team has the money to pay these girls, it's the Dallas Cowboys. Yeah. A guy sitting on the bench is getting paid $20 million. Right.

I'm going to do a bunch of spoilers. This group of girls, like five of them, are really fighting for the girls to get paid more. One girl who's basically at like the forefront of it, her name is, what was her name? Amanda, I want to say. She's fighting for it. Then the two coaches, which I will get into them.

Have this conversation with her. Gaslight the fuck out of her because they stopped booking her because the girls go on different like appearances and the whole 36 teammates don't all go to every appearance. So they'll pick like 10 to go perform somewhere and like another 10. She stopped like getting booked for like the appearances. And so she goes in to talk to them like, is this because I'm fighting?

for like the girls to have more money. And mind you, it's her last year. So like she doesn't actually have to be fighting for this. And she says that like, I know this isn't going to affect me. She's fighting for the future of these women and their lives. She's like, but I know this is going to affect the girls younger than me. And the girls younger than her don't want to fight because they're like, we just made the team. Like we're not trying to fuck it up. Yeah, they're scared. They basically phase this girl out of the show.

The other girls that were like fighting with her kind of like go silent. So is them fighting for more pay a storyline? Kind of, yeah. Okay.

But the two coaches aren't involved. Like they don't go to the coaches first. They go to like the board of whatever. And basically the board is like, fuck you guys. Like you don't like it. Like leave. You don't want, like you don't care about the payment. There's tons of women that would love to be right in your spot, shaking their little tails. Yeah. And it's like, okay, well that doesn't make it correct because mind you, the Rockettes, um,

a normal living wage. They have benefits. I think like they're like a nor they're treated as professional dancers. So like they do compare it to the Rockettes a lot. And these girls are as talented as

Oh, no. Yeah, these girls, like, I think Dallas Cowboys, I think they get kind of like a bad, not, I don't even want to say a bad rep because they're called cheerleader. These are professional dancers. Professional dancers, yeah. They're not cheerleaders in the sense of, like, they're throwing stunts up in the air and going to cheer competitions. Like, they're professional dancers. Can I just say what we're all thinking? The reason why I don't like cheerleading is because of the core root of it, which is that it's a bunch of women who,

rooting for men okay first of all as a cheerleader as a former giving them the attention and cheering them on like that's your purpose i can't support that captain of the varsity cheerleading squad i resent that issue i resented a whole lot no okay yes that's the core of it but like

Okay, perfect example is like when I was in high school, I am exactly what you were describing. I joined the cheerleading team because I knew that Fridays you got out of school early and you went and you had dinner at the boys' school. And all I wanted to do was show up in my school uniform to the boys' school and look at them like during dinner. It's literally soul male gaze. It's soul male gaze. Yeah. I was so boy crazy. Did I give a fuck about like cheerleading? Not really. No.

But then once I was like on the team, yeah, then you have that like team camaraderie and like it is fun. Also, girls are like breaking legs and shit. Like it's kind of crazy, right? I mean, the stunts are actually, like I have been dropped on my head so many fucking times. We can tell. But I...

But I had girls on my team specifically that like cheerleading was their life. Like they were on all star teams and all they did was compete. See the ESPN competitions I fuck with. Like that was insane. They're cheerleaders, but they're not cheering for men anywhere. They're just competing against each other. So like, and some of the things these cheerleaders do, like it,

it's insane. Like they're gymnasts, they're gymnasts and they're dancers. They're triple threats. Like I watched the cheerleading competitions on Tik TOK all the time because they're just so good anyway.

I forget what my original thought was, but because you just like, you got really mad because I came for all that you stand for. My one organized sport. And you're like, it's a joke. And I'm like, but we're, we were eyeshadow. I like when they wear. I don't like when they're like, and you girls are just going to tell the men that they're going to do well tonight. And even when they're losing, you believe in them. No, I think the cheerleaders should leave. If the guys are doing bad, they're like, I don't get paid enough for this. Honestly,

No one Like when you're at Cheerleading practice No one's talking about the guys It's your Practicing It's your show Yeah

You're practicing because then you're going to perform at halftime. But that performance is what you're going to competitions with. So you're really just practicing what you're going to go to competition with. Got it. What if it was cheerleaders performing and men playing catch on the sides? I think that they at cheer competitions, men should be going and cheering them on. Like it's. Yeah, I think the football team should cheer on the cheerleading team. They absolutely should.

I like the cheerleaders because they would train with the mascots in college. So we would all hang out, but they were all so talented, but they were, look, it was a different breed in Wisconsin. These girls were cold. These were not Dallas. These were not the Florida girls. These girls, I hate to say it. They were pale.

They were pale and they were freezing their butts off. Hannah, when I was in high school, there was like a cheerleader magazine that I subscribed to. Oh my God. Like when you would go to cheerleading camp, it was like we would go to cheerleading camp and then it would be all the surrounding schools cheerleading teams. And so then you would like compete at cheerleading camp. It was cheerleading camp was like,

some of the best moments of my life but we talked about when i went to one of my high schools the cheerleading team was like cool but like if you gave a good blow job you were on the dance team yeah when the dance came out i was like they're 24 years old no because the dance team had swag because the dance team i will never forget these i was like a freshman these girls came out

They're wearing their, like, folded over yoga pants, you know, and, like, tiny little shirts. And Sierra, my goodies, comes on. And I was like, this is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. No, it was the first time you were introduced to, like, that slutty. Like, that...

Am I allowed to pop that thing like that? And all their hair was so straight. Like, everyone here was straightened with the little bang. Who knew it was a time to be alive? No, cheerleading is really, like, it's a lost art. But anyway, DCC is, like... So it's their second season now, and the two coaches...

I forget, honestly, what their names even are. It's like one is like the choreographer. They've both been there for like a thousand years. Can I guess their names? Sherry Ann. Honestly, yeah, I think so. And Lisa. Like literally, yes. Here's the thing about these women. And like they do seem like fine in like...

If you were to meet them, I don't think they'd like beat you over the head. Like I think they'd be very cordial. But like they would be annoying in a grocery line. No, this type of woman actually scares the shit out of me. And I am like, I'm not trying to come for the South whatsoever, but I feel like I have been around this type of woman before. And it's, and it's like, they're so nice to you when you're talking to them. And then you leave the room and you're like,

I think they just insulted my entire existence. Yeah. Like, and I didn't even realize it in that conversation. Yeah. One of the girls that they, like...

didn't let make the team they knew her mom for like 40 years like she worked with them every day and then like when they cut her daughter they just like never spoke to this woman again like they they were like basically the woman was like yeah i mean she was like in my wedding so but i can't like put her daughter on the team and it's like okay yeah she's not gonna like take a spot from someone who's more qualified but

But I would argue that aren't a lot of the girls super qualified and it comes down to some like subjective opinions. They're all extremely qualified. And she'll be like, I don't like how her toe didn't point. Well, the way they like act like this is the best thing these women are ever going to do in their lives is like really uncomfortable, especially when all these girls are like

I work four jobs and then I go to go to practice. Also, let's be honest. It's like this experience we're all watching them do on TV right now. They're going to talk about in therapy for the rest of their life, for the rest of their life. Is it important in that way? Yes. You're traumatizing her. But then this season you saw a lot more of like the girls, husbands and boyfriends. And let me just tell you, it was jarring.

It was so jarring because not only are these women some of the most beautiful women like you'll ever see in your life, but they're talented. They're dancers like they're hustlers. They're working a thousand jobs. They're trying to make ends meet. And then these men pop up on the screen and you're like, and then they're sorry. I'm sorry. Is this it?

I'm sorry, is something wrong? Like, are you doing a chair? Like, what's going on here? I don't mean to stereotype, but it is proven that like in the South, people do settle down earlier. So sometimes I'll see a guy and be like, how the fuck did he get her? And I'm like, wait, was he in his prime in college? No, they scared them. They scared them into it. They scared them into it. You have five minutes. No, you literally have five minutes.

And so one of the things one of the girls said was she was like, I feel bad for my other teammates because they're trying to live off of this money. And she was like, but I have a husband. And so in my head, I'm just like,

wait guys like you're stressing me out I was getting so stressed watching it because I was like how are they handling all of it and then not only do they have to show up and wear the teeniest tiniest outfits like they have to be perfect at everything or they get like the one girl broke a rule and the rule was she let a man into her hotel room and I'm like guys

I thought you were going to come out and say she drugged everyone. I don't know why I went there. They're on vacation. She got drugs and made everyone do it. I was like, okay, maybe not the best thing. Not the best thing to do. But again, you're in the Bahamas. Look, she needed a release. She's stressed. But then they were like, and she let a man into the room. Also, who snitched on her? That's not cool. I'm like, okay. It's just very...

it's just I think also I think I have like PTSD because I feel like being from the northeast women get such a like rep of like you're cold you're harsh you're mean where like the south it's like they're so nice they're so like whatever and it's like but not even like no it's just there's assholes everywhere you go is what I like to say there's assholes everywhere and some of them are in sheep's clothing

It's crazy. But I just feel like in the Northeast, it's like if you don't like someone, that person knows you don't like them. We're down there. It's like you could think that's your best friend and they fucking hate you. Like that's the difference. That's so scary. But it is like a different language that like they can read where like other people can't. It also is so interesting. People being like good at things. Yeah. Like I would be so bad at being a Dallas person.

Cowboys cheerleader. I'd be so bad at it. I definitely wasn't asked, but I'd be so bad for so many reasons. Like, when I was on the tennis team, I would get in trouble because...

they would tell us like what we had to wear for every practice and every competition as a part of now I see it's like a team thing where with me, I was like, it's a miracle. I made it here on time. You also want me to be wearing the red and the black shorts. Like I still have nightwares and there's a photo that's really funny. One of our first competitions, everyone's wearing their red tracksuit and I'm in my gray sweat tracksuit. And, um,

For sure got in trouble, had to wake up at 7 a.m. and do the bike for it. But in my head, I couldn't grasp why the coach was so frustrated about that. I'm like, I won. Why are you mad? Sorry, I don't like how the tag on the red sweatsuit feels on me. I'm wearing the gray. Okay.

I think one of the reasons that we're best friends and because there's so many things where we're like, we have different interests or things we like, but like our core values, like you can't tell us what to do or we physically, we physically combust.

Like, we're like, oh, you want me to wear the red? Perfect. I'll be in the blue. But that's, like, where we bond. This is how we bond. I'll text you during the day and be like, can we not do this the way they want us to do it? And you go, absolutely not. And then I'm, like, at peace with myself. Well, because sometimes also – and this is just a reminder for the girls. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that we are the adults also. True. Like, and we can –

say no and we don't have to listen to like you don't have to listen to everything people tell you to do as Michelle Obama said no is a full sentence and also what I've learned from being around Paige from following Paige around is that people actually like respect

more who has boundaries because we'll be in a place I've seen before where like I'm like sucking up like being over the top like trying to like be nice to someone I know exactly the time you're talking about I don't know this I couldn't even put my finger this is how we are and

page will just be very like to the point and matter of fact and i could see that they like want page's attention more than mine when i'm like i've been fucking listening to all your stories all day and that kind of thing yeah but it's it's just unnecessary effort because also i think another thing that we're similar we don't care who you are or what you've done we don't care like it

We don't care. I just don't want you to like me. It's not that it doesn't impress us. No, we're not impressed. We don't care about the superficial things. We like people who are funny. What you've accomplished has nothing to do with me personally.

And also, like, I'm not I'm not sucking up to you because you what you own where we're standing. I don't care. I don't give a fuck. I don't care. I don't care. And if you're a man. Oh, I double don't give a fuck. I do not give a flying fuck. I don't care.

Okay, stop everything. We have an actual Dunkin' Giggly Squad collab merch, limited edition, co-designed by us. It's cute. It's chaotic. It's giving summer. And of course, we have a Tumblr because obviously, if you know us, we can't go anywhere without an emotional support water bottle. And this one is so cute. It might actually be our new personality.

I'm genuinely obsessed with the tote. It fits everything. My sunscreen, six lip glosses, and all my emotional baggage. It really fits it all. And guess what? We're also giving it away to our favorite gigglers. All you have to do is go to gigglysummer.com and submit your best summer story, dilemma, or question. It could be anything like, help, I'm freshly single, about to attend five weddings.

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I wanted to tell you, this is why I've been stressed, yesterday we had a very different day. Paige was flying to Italy and I was getting driven to Riverhead to take a driver's lesson. I've been waiting to hear how this went. Shout out Greg.

Poor Greg. He's about to retire and he's one step out the door from his 25 years of teaching. I think that's a requirement as a driver ed teacher. You have to be on death's door. He's on death's door. And he's this former cop and he walks in. He's like, I'm about to retire. I go, I'm your last...

I'm your last lesson. Okay. Like I'm, I'm the last challenge. I'm your final Marvel stone. Literally. I'm like, if you can get me to pass my road test, like you can do anything. Monuments will be erected in your honor, sir. Okay. There's a whole group of girls rooting for you.

I don't know what it was. I swear to God, when Des was driving me to this lesson, I became a teenager again. Like, immediately, I was like, I don't want to do this. I was like, I don't want to do this. And he's like, you have to get your fucking license. And I was like, he's going to be disappointed. I'm going to mess it up. Everyone's going to be mad at me. Were you in a driver ed car where, like, he also has a steering wheel? Yes, but first, Des was driving me. And look,

It was also confusing because Des in England and Ireland, apparently they like turn different... Whatever. Long or short, it's fucking confusing. But Greg was so peaceful and calm and understanding. In Ireland, are they driving on the other side of the road? They drive on the other side and also...

He told me that like you're not supposed to cross your hands when turning. You're supposed to feed. You're not supposed to oversteer can get you in a bad accident. Yeah. But then this guy was like, you're allowed to cross your hands just like the right way. So I'm dealing with I'm learning a lot right now. But Greg was really calm and he was like, so what's your story? And I was like, we don't have time. We don't have time, Greg. But I think let's focus on the task. We don't have time for this shit.

You're like, actually, I have a new hour. If you could just stay for one minute, let me try this out on you. I actually have some new jokes that I'm working on. I want to test with you. But I realized that my learners permit... Expired. Expires in August. So we are in the trenches right now. No pressure. You've literally put your relaxing summer in a time crunch. So what, you have to schedule your road test before your permit expires? I scheduled...

First of all, I also want to apologize to the Academy for anyone I'm stressing out with this right now because Giggly Squad is supposed to be so peaceful, but I have to trauma dump on you guys right now. No, this is my therapy. Go. Put it in the book, honey. I had to take a five-hour...

driving class online i did that the other day also don't be jealous okay and if i don't pass the test by august then i have to like restart everything

restart everything so hanna coded i'm so i'm literally so scared and then i go to do a test to set up my road test and it turns out every kid in the summer is trying to get their road i have to drive to westchester to do it oh no i know my god but then someone said to keep checking long story short like i'm i'm so upset and stressed but now i'm trying to have a different approach i'm like let's

Okay, and what was your experience in the driver ed car? Like how did you feel? Well, honestly, Greg just had – honestly, he was awesome. Like I love Greg and he made me feel calm. But it was kind of nerve-wracking because he kept asking me questions and you could tell he couldn't tell yet if I was going to be good or bad. And like neither could I. I'll tell you that right now. Yeah. And then he was like, okay, it's your turn. And like I honestly am getting like anxiety that I'd have like in my teens. Yeah.

where you're like i don't know what's gonna happen i'm scared and i'm like being forced to do this and you know what let me give let me give you some encouragement as someone who also took driver's ed in high school um it was honestly one of the best experiences because in high school we would do it like after school and it'd be like four girls in one car so like it would kind of be funny dangerous but so dangerous i was they're like we're singing we're smoking weed

Crossroads. Lady Gaga had just like come out with an album. I'm like, what are we to do? Um, right. Yeah.

I was by far the worst in my car. Like, like every time I got in the driver's seat, like my driver ed teacher was like, I just need to let you know, you will not pass. You're not passing your road test. And I would just like, I took that as a suggestion. Okay. Again, I was like, you were like to my haters who don't believe in me. Literally. I was like, okay, first of all, I don't work for you. Second,

Second of all, you're just pouring gasoline and I'm about to light shit up. I'm like, you've never seen my charm in action. And I did pass my road test when he said I wasn't going to. So I truly think it depends on where you take your road test. Have you looked? Because the kids talk. Have you looked online? Like, is Westchester hard? I searched. Yeah. And they said Riverhead is one of the easiest ones. And I failed Riverhead. So that we're starting over.

Who knows where to begin? Yeah. Did I already make an announcement on the pod saying I don't want to do anything illegal, but if there is a giggler who happens to be doing road tests, that would be really just convenient. Nothing illegal, but, like, can I talk to you for a sec? I also...

I passed my road test once, but I shouldn't have passed it because she was like, okay, park and to finish the road test. And I ran the curb, but she already like printed out the receipt that I passed. And she was like, Jesus Christ. And my dad was like, you shouldn't pass. Yeah. Hitting the curb, I think is an automatic fail. Yeah. No, like I shouldn't have passed it. So I had no confidence, but also I didn't have driver's ed cause I'm a city freak. So no one knows how to drive. But anyway, um,

I'm fully committing. I'm putting this out there into the universe of Giggly Squad so that, like, you guys could send me any guidance for, like, how to parallel park or something. Dare we ask, like, the exact date? Or, like, would that stress you out too much? Or, like, should we be manifesting for this, like, specific date? True. I love how you're, like, we can get a lot of power and a lot of gigglers. No, we...

The floor is yours. The girls are listening. The girls are listening. Let's go. Let's combine our powers. The witches are ready. I might, I'm trying to find an earlier date, but right now it's in July. So it might change, but I'll keep you guys posted. But also I'm now committed now to be a student of the game. Like this isn't about winning or losing. This is about the process. This is about the journey. And I want to be one with the car. I'm looking at it in a complete in perspective. I'm not here to win. I'm here to win.

To let the car guide you. Yep. Yes. Let the car guide me through life and, and,

I have no fear and I love driving. Can I ask what is your least favorite thing that you're trying to like master? And what is the thing that you're like, I got, I can do this one. To be honest, like I like driving. I don't like the idea of sitting down and a person watching you and grading you. And I low key feel like is rooting against me. Yeah. Like, I feel like they don't want me to succeed in life. And I'm like, and they love that power. Well, they, there's a lot of power.

Power in their position. So much fucking power. And also like, let's be honest, I'm a woman.

I'm a woman who can't drive. They're literally club bouncers of the government. You know, like it's like, okay, dude, you could be fired at any time, but also like you do hold a lot of power in this exact moment. Is their job important? A thousand percent. And should I be on the road? Absolutely not. But I'm actually training. I love I'm talking about training. Like I saw Coco Gauff wrote, I'm going to win. I will win the French open like 500 times in her notebook. So I'm going to write. I will pass my road test. Yeah.

Because it's like the same thing. I'm going to write it like a hundred times. Honestly, talking about cheerleading camp and road tests this episode is just like, I'm loving it. But I also feel like it explains, I don't like following the rules. So a road test is literally, can you follow every rule? And every cell inside me wants to be like, like, like just turn. How are your three point turns?

Honestly, they're fine. It's just I don't know. Should I be going faster? Should I be going slower? I just feel like I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for anyone. Are you parallel parking? I parallel park today, but whenever I do it, I feel like it's luck.

Yeah. Like I'm going to be, I haven't parallel parked since my road test. Yeah. I couldn't, if someone told me to parallel park right now, I wouldn't go. Wait, side note. Um, one summer house memory I do have to say was early on our first season. I remember like everyone else was like getting into like storylines and fights and like I had nothing going on. And then so you know what I'm going to say.

remember who it was but it was jordan it was jordan it was jordan but other people were like having his back at first and he was like side note fucking hannah never drives every weekend everyone drives but hannah and i start looking around and someone else is like actually yeah you never fucking drive and

And I go, "I don't even have my license!" And they're like, "Still, it's not fair. You don't drive." And I remember you jumped in and you were like, "Do you all want to die?"

this is a perfect example of how things went so Hannah coded or so page coded because in this exact, I remember this, like it was literally yesterday in this exact fight, everyone's attacking you for never having driven to the Hamptons any weekend of the summer. And I'm like, first of all, she's incompetent. She doesn't have a license. Second of all, I had also never driven a weekend and no one picked up on it.

I had a license at that point for almost 15 years and I remember having to defend myself for not driving when I didn't have a driver's license, a four hour drive to the Hamptons through highways. Okay. I'm, I'm going to be honest. The only man that I ever listened to is my father. And when he heard that I was going to have to drive to the Hamptons every weekend, he said, I don't give a fuck.

You are not driving on the LIE at rush hour on a Friday. I don't care if you're a good driver. I know you're not. You're not doing like you'll kill everyone in the car, including yourself. Sorry, I care about safety. And he was 100 percent right, actually.

I actually can't believe legally that that's even allowed. Driving out to the Hamptons was so stressful because you were thinking about like, okay, what happened this last weekend? What am I going to say? Like it was, it was like a scary mental thing.

And traffic isn't good for your mental health. No. The Long Island Expressway is, like, literally one of the most dangerous fucking highways, I feel like, in the country. It's, like, four lanes. It goes fast as fuck. Like, if you're not alert driving to the Hamptons...

You're getting in an accident. Like you have to fully be present when you're driving. Also, the cars we were driving were huge and I don't know a lot about driving, but it's like, unless you have a trucker's license, I don't feel like you'll be that comfortable. No, I was, it took me years to be, to be like, okay, I'll drive because I was so scared. So scared.

Side note, I'm drinking my Dunkin' Ice refresher and I just have to say I nailed it with the flavor. What? Yeah. What one is that? Mango pineapple lemonade. That's the one. I've been sipping it the whole time. Okay. I need to get that. I love anything like mixed with a lemonade. Can I add one other thing to the docket? Yeah. Why is the most organized our society has ever been when there's a lookalike contest in New York City? I don't know.

when and why did this take off and also should we do one at the next giggly squad live look i love it but i just don't understand that new york also why is it all men are they trying to cure the male loneliness epidemic with each other because like yeah we're trying to put we are trying to push you know why it's because the last time a girl said she looked like megan fox she was stoned no

no, that poor woman was shredded. Girls are like, I'll pass. I'll pass on this. I'm blonde, but I'll pass.

You just hit something about our society, though. You can't do it with the girls because people would be so mean to the women. They'd be like, really? You think you look like her? Could you imagine someone hosting a Sabrina Carpenter lookalike contest? They'd be annihilated. They also would be so tiny. For this lookalike stuff, it's chaos in this world. Yeah. You can't even do it.

When they organize a lookalike contest, everyone is calm and there's a system and there's a ranking and there's voting. There's no fraud. There's no fake news. It's just this is the lookalike contest. They follow the rules. They follow the rules. They always pick the right person. There's no politics, no bias. If anyone ever comments on any of my Instagram pictures like, oh my God, you look like so-and-so, there's always a comment underneath from a woman that's like,

Don't ever insult Audrey Hepburn who is class and elegance with this piece of literal truth. I'm like, whoa. Wait, actually, you know what? I get tagged in a lot and people are like, I thought this was you, which is so on theme for this episode. A lot of dance videos. Like there, I think there is this one dancer that looks like you and she's phenomenal. And I'm like, I, every time I want, I'm like, I wish this was me. And which brings me actually to my next point.

I think for one of the things for like now I'm like brainstorming for Hannah and Paige try new things next year or whenever we do it. I think that we should learn like a legitimate dance routine. And do it on stage? No. Why would you learn it? For the satisfaction of learning it and recording it. Oh, babe, I do it to perform. Yeah.

When we first started, I was like, should we do a dance at the end? And you were like, never fucking bring that up again. I swear to God. And I never have. I'm never going out on... If you've never been to Giggly Squad Live, you should come because it's such a vibe. But just know this. I will never sing, dance...

Or do anything theatrical. That's what you say, but also you said you would never get a cat and look where you are now. Okay, you started this episode with my boundaries and how proud you were of me. So let me have my boundaries. One thing about dancers though. Yeah. I like am currently obsessed with

like a dancer that's on Broadway who's like really beautiful and talented and then like clicking on their profile and I've done like... I'm like... You're obsessed with Broadway right now. I'm obsessed with Broadway but also like just...

I wanted to be a hip-hop dancer in another life. Oh, you did? You know the girls who do the hip-hop dances? There's nothing cooler than that. It's all I watch on TikTok. Yeah. These people are so cool. They all have no followers, but they're more talented than everyone. And then they're all friends with the coolest people. All these hot dancers hang out with each other. And they're like, oh, I'm going to dance for the weekend event.

touring with The Weeknd this weekend and then I'm with Lady Gaga next weekend and then I'm on this Broadway show this weekend and they're just like professional dancers are no fucking joke and they get zero respect but I'm scrolling through and like their lives seem like really cool for how much I rag on Broadway just because like I it's not like my most favorite form of entertainment and

It's Broadway performers and comedians, I feel like are very similar in terms of they do so many jobs on stage and they get zero accolades whatsoever. Like the fact that there's like Emmys and like standup comedy isn't in it. And obviously like they have the Tony Awards, but like to be a Broadway performer, you're singing, you're dancing, you're acting, you're memorizing like everything.

If you're acting in a movie and you forget the lines, there's someone there giving you the lines. You're on Broadway. You forget the line. You're fucked. You know what's impressive about these dancers, too, is like they don't get any accolades. They're not the star. Their job is to be in the background and they're not getting paid a lot. And I'm like, I respect that. Well, that's why I like watching the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. You're like, wait, wait.

You guys are putting so much pressure on these girls and you're also considering it a hobby. Like if you want to put this much pressure and be this big of a fucking bitch to these literal 19, 22 year old girls, like pay them more than $75 a week. You freaks. I do. I do say big picture. Now that I'm getting older and I'm looking back on like, obviously when you're in jobs, when you're young and you want to prove yourself, but

But there's a point with like corporate America where they're just like banking on who is going to overwork them.

and they give you more work and they don't like give you raises well i think gen z i think we were kind of the last generation of that like we were the last i feel like we were the last generation that woke up at 7 a.m went to a corporate job went to the gym after ate dinner and did it all again like and then covid hit and then i feel like gen z was like uh yeah

Yeah, no. They got out of college and they were like, cute. We're not doing that. That's adorable for someone else, for a dumb millennial to do. Wait, I have a gripe. Okay. Why are bikinis sold separately, tops and bottoms, when no one's mix and matching? I think you're wrong. I think they're sold separately because everyone's mix and matching top and bottom sizes. I think the majority of girls...

I don't have this, unfortunately. Or have bigger boobs. Oh, for sizing. Yeah, that's why they're sold separately. Any other brain busters, honey? You go next. Next question. Are we still doing the thong bikinis in a public space? Oh my God, Hannah, wait. She literally had to reposition for this. I have to reposition. Have you seen this discourse on TikTok? No. No.

Okay, there's this whole thing on TikTok where girls are like, stop wearing thong bikinis to the beach. And I disagree with you.

I think, okay, the argument was women were like, my children are here. I don't want my children seeing your asshole basically out. And then another girl goes, why don't you say the real reason? Because your kids don't notice. You don't want your husband looking at some young girl who's in a thong bikini. Mm-hmm.

There's a lot of perspectives, but I also So many perspectives I would argue that everyone has different body types And I have a fat ass Yes It's like your friends who have big boobs They're more sexualized Yeah, if you wear a certain top, it's like Paige looks so cute in that Where if another girl wears it, it's like, okay, you slutty whore Yeah, it's giving sex symbol, yes If I wear a thong to the beach, we're in a music video

We're in a music video. And I don't hate it. I'm not always in the mood to be sexualized. I want a bikini that's, first of all, bring back tankinis. They're back. They're back. Okay, good. Tankinis are back. And I want granny panties. I know you don't. I knew you wanted that. You want a full one piece. You're really like. No, bring it back to the 60s. I want a full unitard. Okay.

I want a t-shirt. You don't even want to show up to the beach in your bathing suit. You want to change there. You want it 1950s style. I would wear like a wet t-shirt.

to in the pool with like a cute bottom but like whoever decided we had to wear bras like i also don't like bras i never wear bras why would i wear it to the beach i think everything is situational am i showing up to a kid's birthday with no bra and my ass out how many kids birthdays are you showing up to she's like on mondays i do kids birthdays you'd be surprised sometimes sometimes i'm a big hit

Am I showing up to like a beach on vacation in on an island and a thong bikini and like my nipples hard? Fuck yeah, I am. So like I think everything really is situational. It can't. You didn't have to bring up hard nipples. Yeah, I don't know. All right.

I'm feeling cheeky. It's 1130 in Italy. I'm like, I'm just, I want to poke you now with my hard ass nipple. Okay. I just think you can't, I feel like Tik TOK, it makes everything one big generalization. Like there's a time and place for everything. I do think it's important for kids to see bodies.

It's also like they aren't reacting to it. They're not sexualizing me. They're seven. They can't. Also, if they never see a butt and then one day they see a butt, that's going to be weird. Yeah. It's called exposure therapy. Yeah, expose them first.

Like I've never as a child, I don't have one memory of going on vacation with my family and thinking about some person's body. Like what? Someone's like, oh yeah, Capri was really fun until that one woman showed too much of her side boob. Are you talking about? Now, if I'm with a man and a hot young bombshell walks in front of us and she's got like an insane itsy bitsy teeny bikini on, I'm

In my head, am I like, he's definitely looking at her? Yeah, probably. But like, so am I. Like, she looks great. You know, you look over, you make sure he's still straight. No, if I had, if he doesn't, if he doesn't look, we're segwaying so good. Wait, we have to end on this because I was talking to one of my friends about this. This is so, you know, this is so crazy.

If you're questioning if your boyfriend is gay or not, and we've all been there, okay? We've all at least had one where we're like, when he's going down on, when a guy is going down on you and you're laying down and you're on your back and he's going down on you, if his back is arched, not a good sign.

Not a good sign. Their body should be down completely. Like full sniper mode? Like all laying down? If the bed is large enough and he's on his stomach, okay, fine. But like, or it's like his knees should be on the ground. Like in no situation should his back ever be arched. Well, adding on to that, that's fucking genius. Adding on to that, any guy whose posture is too good in general? Gay. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

every episode your boyfriend's gay break up with him that's our time thank you so much for listening check out hannah and page try new things new episode just dropped on youtube where page is much better than me at ariel acrobatics and it's pretty entertaining and special thanks to duncan for supporting this episode um and sign up for our newsletter we love you bye

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