Giggling about boyfriend grid posts, stuck in Aspen, and New Years resolutions
46:45 Share

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn.com slash results.

LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Sometimes just drinking water is kind of boring. Hannah hates plain water. You literally can't give it to her, even in the dead of the summer. So with Liquid IV, it makes drinking water refreshing like summer popsicle flavors. They have firecracker, rainbow sherbet that really just hit everything.

the spot everyone knows i'm a stanley girl and sometimes plain water does just get boring when you're drinking it all day every day and liquid iv is so easy and convenient you just tear pour and enjoy plus if you're already drinking that much water why not double your hydration

Liquid IV is scientifically formulated to quickly replenish electrolytes and fluids lost from sweat or exercise. It has 100% daily value of four essential B vitamins, excellent source of vitamin C, and it's on-the-go hydration. Tear, pour, and live more. One stick,

With 16 ounces of water, hydrates better than water alone. Indulge in hydration this summer with Liquid IV and get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code GIGGLY at checkout. That's 20% off your first order when you shop better hydration today using promo code GIGGLY at liquidiv.com. Sup, Gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me. New year, new me, new you, new giggles. How are we doing? I'm not well. I'll tell you that I'm not well, bitch. Ha ha!

I'm in Aspen. I have altitude sickness and all my luggage is lost. You gave a whole kind of a whole story about how people should mail their luggage. How did that backfire? Ship your luggage, I said. It's so great.

gets there on time everyone else on the trip ship their luggage everyone else has their outfits mine lost i also love how you have three suitcases truck full of clothes lost who knows where the fuck it is but someone is very stylish right now somewhere somewhere in colorado i have like one sweatshirt to my name

I have no clothes. I might literally drive an hour to the facility and like scream at everyone and look for it myself. Well, this is the question. What does the tracking say? The tracking yesterday said out for delivery will be there by 9 p.m. 9 p.m. rolled around and it said unforeseen events. We'll let you know when it's coming. Okay.

Oh my god, I wish that's how I dealt with work. Like someone sends me an email and I'm like, unforeseen events. I'll let you know eventually. I'm gonna start saying that. I just feel like it's 2022. Like how are we still losing luggage? Exactly. But I do have to say your tank top looks so cute. And I think this is a sign from the universe. You're starting the year with life lessons being like, you know what, you don't need your outfits to be of value. Yeah.

That's the meanest thing you've ever said to me. This is an ego death. The past few days I've just been relying on my personality and it's

Let me tell you, there's not much there. So if people are wondering why Paige's audio isn't perfection like it usually is, her podcast gear was also in the luggage. So the universe is really testing the gigglers as a whole right now. Like, send this energy to Tristan Thompson. I don't deserve that. Should we just start off with Tristan? Because...

How insane. I mean, actually not really insane. I feel like when the story came out, obviously we knew that he got her pregnant. What I find insane is him posting like stories, like telling Chloe on the stories, like you deserve so much better. Like, shut up.

I just think like the audacity to post a Star Wars movie credit type apology with like the most chill font, like not even the fancy Times New Roman classy font. And then he has the nerve to misuse commas and periods in this like

apology for this incredibly important apology you can't proofread it once i also wish that he did do it just like talking to the camera because like i feel like his assistant could have done this for all we know his baby mama could have wrote it her captions for photo this is why you don't do long captions for your boyfriend her captions for all her photos with the two of them are insane and

And then it's like, okay, when you wrote that caption, he was literally banging someone else. The longer the caption, the shorter the trust. So true. Shorter the trust. It really is. Who do we think Khloe should be with? Because I like proposed Post Malone. I liked that. I think she needs a funny man. I think she needs someone funny. I think she needs to be down with the athletes. But or I like kind of love Omi or

lamar lammy sorry i was thinking of omicron are you kidding me he literally almost died while banging hookers and doing cocaine no okay valid i forgot about that part he's crazy too she needs someone honestly why can't kim help her out kim got pete she needs someone in that sphere

you guys 2022 we are de-centering men from our lives having a relationship is not the end-all be-all slash doesn't mean you're successful however there's two girls in relationships it's not everything like we don't need them we just want them um oh you don't have a husband sorry

We are very excited because we have live shows coming up in Seattle, San Francisco, and LA. And I sent Paige a t-shirt gun yesterday. Yeah. And you thought it was a Dyson hair wrap. Yeah, I was like, is that a new... I thought it was a mini curling iron.

And I was like, yeah, cute. Get it. Or like something to like suck come out of your vagina after sex. Sorry, that was so that was too much for an early morning podcast. That was so much. But should be invented. Should be invented.

How have we not come up with that? We're still like waddling to the toilet. I'm sick of sitting there peeing and like waiting. Actually, I saw something on Instagram where you put something up like a sponge, but like that doesn't help. That shit will be dripping for like three days. No, it's so annoying. You're like...

trying to get a quickie in before a dinner or something then you're sitting at the dinner staring at him just being like you did this to me i'm leaking yeah oh graphic oh my god but then apparently apparently wait what about jack harlow apparently apparently apparently what about jack harlow with chloe too young

too young maybe just like a fucking like accountant maybe like a banker you know maybe like someone just oh i could see him with like a chef yeah i almost feel like she needs someone who's like not that famous for all the gigglers listening seeing a guy cheat in public could be like disturbing or triggering and it makes you maybe be scared about your own relationship but just remember a wise person once told me if he's going to cheat

he's going to cheat and it has nothing to do with you your prettiness your attitude your personality your intelligence nothing to do with you if he's a cheater he's a cheater either way you know what i think about all the time with like shit like this is that like one day because it's on the internet so like it just like goes away one day like her daughter is gonna see all of it

Well, we should think about that for ourselves, honestly. Yeah, that just gave me ripples up my spine. Imagine our daughters one day listening to Giggly Squad and being like, something to suck cum out, mom? You know how like when you look at your old photos of your grandma and it's so nice, they're gonna be like looking at our Instagram like... No, that's terrifying. Explain why grandma was doing thought squats everywhere.

Okay, I want to know what you did for New Year's. Oh my God, it was the best New Year's ever. I did nothing. I laid on the couch with Craig. We made mini hot dogs and I fell asleep at 12.01. People were DMing me being like, you and Paige have switched lives. Because I had a wild New Year's. Yeah, what did you do? I was at the stand in New York doing comedy shows and I had a show at like 6 p.m., 8 p.m., and 10 p.m.

And I got my makeup did. Oh, my God. I did a shiny blue moment with eyeshadow. I saw it looked so cool. Oh, thank you. Blue eyeshadow is tough until you say it's euphoria. And then everyone's like, OK. Yeah, that's so true. And then I went to Girls Gotta Eat's house for New Year's. I was on espresso martinis all night.

oh my god but it was very like low-key mature type party like no one's doing hard drugs we're all just like talking drinking des actually walked in right when things got a little bit rowdy and the guys were taking their shirts off and i was yelling show me your tits so it was pretty feminist it was a feminist moment um but it was overall a great night and then i posted a

a photo of myself on New Year's and everyone's like, did you and Des break up? And I'm like, no, I'm decentering men for my life. Yeah, like, this is my Instagram. I'm not allowed to post pictures of myself anymore. Wait, I saw that. Everyone was like, saw that. I was like, yeah, she's announcing it by posting a thought squat. Yeah.

Which is how you would announce it. A thousand percent. How I just announce anything. I forgot to ask you last time because the gigglers want to know. You posted your first grid post with Craig. I did. And I want to know everything that went into this post. Did you know that night you were going to take a photo that was going to be the one? I did.

You did? I did. I was like, this dress is so good. I knew I was posting a pic that night. Like, I was either posting one by myself or with him. But since we've said I love you to each other, we haven't, like, been in this situation where, like, we were dressed up and it was like, oh, my God, take this picture. So, like, I don't know. I felt like it was the perfect moment for it. Who took it? I have no idea. Yeah.

That person was not important. I literally have no idea. Were you nervous, like, picking which one? What was the process? Or did you, like, see it and you were like, this is it? No, I was very nervous because I was going between, like, three different ones. And then finally Craig picked the one of him kissing my head.

And he was like, okay, great. When we're in Aspen, I'm going to post my first grid picture. And I was like, amazing. I have such good outfits. Here I am in a white wife beater black sweatpants that I've been wearing for four days. I have no shampoo. I have no conditioner. I have no hair dryer.

It's wild over here. It's a wild, wild west over here. You look like you just joined a commune where you're not allowed to shower or change your clothes so you're closer to nature. No, I literally, I've been kidnapped. I'm trying not to be like a crazy girl. Like I'm trying to be like, keep it chill and be like, yeah, like all my luggage is just gone. It's just lost. You know, we'll just like see what happens. Inside, I'm losing it. I'm absolutely losing it.

You're like, it's 9 a.m. and I've had six mental breakdowns. But Paige, struggling when no one else knows when you're struggling and surviving it is strength. I did see an Instagram post about that yesterday. Makes you stronger. Craig understands. I guess. Craig literally said, you're handling...

He's like, you're handling this so well. And he's like, don't worry, we'll go skiing tomorrow. And I looked at them and I go, with what ski outfit? With what clothes? I don't even have a snow boot. You're like, I'm going to look like Hannah Burner on the slopes, okay? Oh my god.

He literally was like, you could wear some of my stuff. I'm like, what? No. I'd rather die. I love how you're like, I'm fine, but I'm just going to stay in this room for the next couple of days until the cortisol dies down. No, literally. If I don't have clothes by today, I have to go shopping, I guess. But you can't even shop in Aspen because everything's $4,000. Yeah, it's not for like... Like, you want a hat? Yeah.

It's not for a haul. It's like you get a present for yourself and you treat yourself. Yeah, Aspen is some fancy shit. Maybe. Aspen is very much window shopping to me. Anyhow, I'll be okay. You sure, babe? Well, we'll see in a couple of days.

If you don't hear from me, let me go peacefully. This actually seems like a reality show. Like, put Paige in a house and no outfits show up and watch her crack. This will get her to crack. It's the simple life in Aspen. I'm like, where are the hidden cameras? Because this has to be a fucking joke. Literally, everyone's luggage that was shipped...

And people shipped it after mine. And I did next day delivery on Thursday. So it arrived in Colorado on Friday. They've just been chilling with it for days.

I think you go. I need to call. I'm going to have my mom call. Yeah. When in doubt, get your mom to deal with it. I have my mom. Oh, my God. Well, we made it work. Here we are. And I think we need to do some advice to start the new year. Like, I want some positivity. I would love to. Yeah. I am dedicated to the Giggler. So I'm up at 8 a.m. with a pounding headache. No luggage to give advice. Yeah. This is...

like middle of the night for us to make this happen um yeah okay literally it's the middle of the night middle of the night i was so nervous you weren't gonna wake up but then again i was nervous i wasn't gonna wake up but here we are advice time do you care if your boyfriend has mainly instagram models on his for you page interesting very interesting um no i don't really care des was swiping on tiktok

and this girl with like huge boobs popped up and i was like interesting and he's like what it came up on my tiktok i'm like it's an algorithm you know it's an algorithm and he's like you have hot guys on your tiktok i'm like no it's just girls talking about their ibs and depression like i don't have hot guys on my tiktok i also don't think there are hot guys on tiktok like unless it's like a hot 13 year old or like a guy trying to show off his abs like i don't find that attractive you know

The only hot guys on TikTok are in college. Yeah, you're right. They're just, like, throwing footballs. Yeah, like, there's no guys our age that are, like, actually hot and, like, on TikTok and aren't, like, so cringe. Yeah. You know, like, with the TikToks they do. A thousand percent. Craig has a lot of, like, dog... Like, okay, you know when you're laying and you're, like, watching someone else be on their phone? Yeah, it's so weird. It's so meta. It's so weird. Yeah.

And the one day I was like laying on Craig's chest and like he we were going through like, like memes or something. And like he was on his phone. And every time like a girl would come, he would go really. He's like, ew, ew. And I just looked at him and I was like, hmm. And he was like, you know, it's just like, whatever. Yeah.

Yeah, no, it's whatever. I don't get mad at it, though, because I feel like it's very similar to like, I don't, okay, you don't get mad if your boyfriend watches porn. Exactly. I also noticed that these algorithms are wild. It's like Instagram, you know, on the top, it says like,

options on your for you page or your explore page mine is tennis practice self-compassion and cats like how does my instagram know me more than everyone in my life wait i need to check mine minimal style london photography effortless chic that is so you

What is London photography? Essex. Chelsea. Made in Chelsea. I have a question. Is French manicures out? No. Okay, good. I just had to double check. What are you doing with your nails right now for the new year? Like, what's the vibe? If I wasn't already having a horrible 2022, all my nails broke. All my nails broke and chipped. This one is, I don't mean to give you the middle finger, but the jaggedness.

I mean, they all broke. That's like unsafe. How do you even text? Because I was trying to shut a door last night and it was so hard and I couldn't shut it. And then like my hand slipped off and I broke all my right hand nails. Oh, I know that feeling. So God is, something's going on with me and God right now. And he's just like,

really testing everything. Yeah, there's some beef going on. There's some drama. But hopefully you guys will work it out. We'll see. I think you should go to the male place. I'm telling you. Sometimes there's just like

They just, they get confused. They don't know what's going on. You need to put some pressure on them. Be like, Craig, let's go on a fun little day trip. Oh my God, Craig's going to absolutely leave me for dead today and go skiing and I'm going to just be in the bed. Isn't that what you want? Kind of. That sounds fucking amazing. Des was waking me up at 7 a.m. to go on the slopes. Okay. In a relationship with my best friend, five years, but lack of chemistry and sex, no desire, is it time to leave? Yep.

have you ever been in a relationship for five years no that's crazy five years no my longest is three years and once like the sex part leaves i gotta go and you guys when we say the sex part leaves we don't mean like you're not fucking every day we mean like you have straight ick

Exactly. And also like stop with the whole best friend thing. Like there's so many best friends you can have. You want a guy who makes your vagina tingle. Do you want to know what actually I want to change the narrative on like he's my best friend. He's my boyfriend. I love him. Okay. Craig is my best friend to a certain extent. Yeah. But he's not my best friend in the way of like

Like, I'm not going to call him and be like, my period is so bad right now. And I think I have a UTI. And like, I'm not going to say certain shit to him that I would say to you. But he's still one of my good friends. But like...

And I feel like there's a boundary because then it's like, I just, I want to be sexually attracted to him. And if he's not sexually attracted to me, because all I'm talking about is like my heavy flow and my UTI. I don't know where I'm going with this. The altitude is really getting to me. But I know exactly where you're talking about. And I think that you can get along with so many people. It's about finding the person that like you feel. Yeah.

like makes you wanted and you want affection from it has to be balanced there's nothing worse than your boyfriend touching you and you're like oh that's when you know you have to get out i've only felt her like twice in my life the ick yeah i also think this is what a lot of girls get confused about too is that the ick is not physical

Like, as in, you don't get the ick because one day you look at him and you're like, he's not hot. The ick comes from emotional shit. The ick comes from either he, like, cheated on you and you don't trust him anymore and your pussy will dry up. I don't care how much you try to convince yourself that you still care about him or still want him in your life. Or if, like, he's not being emotionally available, eventually you're just gonna close.

close up like you're gonna be like I can't do this anymore yes I have two examples of that one I had a boyfriend where that was exactly what happened like he cheated on me and it was just never the same and blah blah blah but then I've had a boyfriend where one day I was just like

I'm not sexually attracted to you whatsoever. Did you, like, see another person that made you realize? No, it was just, like, every time he touched me, I was, like... I also think if you're in a relationship and you look at other relationships and think, like, oh, I want what they have, that also is a bad sign. Yeah, that's really bad because...

Because it's like, you know, deep down you're missing something in yours. So you're just projecting that theirs is perfect around you. And also you're making it. You just made that scenario up in your head about theirs because theirs is probably trash too. Oh, OK. How much do you want to know about their past when you start dating a guy? This is a wild question. This is chaotic energy.

Oh my god, the crazy in me wants to know everything but like the mature anxious person like who I really am today

I don't want to know anything. I had a boyfriend who used to use stories about his ex to like control me. Like he'd be like, oh, I hated when she did this. And like, oh, I got so mad when she did that. So my like people pleasing side was like, okay, well, I'll definitely never do that. And I'm like, oh, I hated when I went to watch the game and she like would like want to do other stuff. And I'd be like, okay, noted. When the game's on, leave him alone. Like that's all just like,

control tactics or like yeah I don't I never let her come with me when I was doing this because she'd be so annoying so I'd be like okay noted don't be annoying when he goes do that which is so like me walking on fucking eggshells also I'm always annoying jot down don't be annoying today I feel it does like I try to annoy him it's like fun for me to annoy him

Yeah, like I want to see how far I can go. A thousand percent. There have been times where he'll tell me something about like a girl from college and I'm like, I don't need to know. Or like if we walk into a bar, he's like, oh, like he'll just be like giving me the gossip. But I'm like, I am your girlfriend. I don't know that you slept with her in college. I feel like anything before me doesn't really count and I don't really care about it. I love that perspective. Yeah.

Des told me, I like to know how guys lost their virginity. And Des told me how he lost her virginity. And he said it with like a little too much emotion for my liking. Like the story, like I felt like he had a crush on her. And I was like...

why don't you go fuck Emily then like I literally was like go fuck her and he was like Hannah she has four children and she's like 45 years old and I go yeah well go fuck her she was your first fucking love go find her and leave me out of your drama and he's like you ass it's interesting because yeah you want to know every little thing but then why like you don't need to know

here's the other thing i don't remember anything i have the worst memory ever so craig will ask me things from my past and i'll be like i actually don't know he's like how long did you guys date i'm like i don't remember honestly i feel like when you start telling stories about your ex you're like almost trying to make them jealous like yeah when this other guy liked me and it's like find out like what's the purpose of telling the story like unless it's really funny

There's really no purpose to tell a story about your ex. Or if you're trying to help him understand a past trauma, maybe.

Yeah, I would say that is the only time I ever talk about exes is when I'm like, okay, well, I had like dealt with this in a relationship. And it's the kind of like we're talking about it like that. Not like, oh my God, he like took me to Paris. And it was amazing. Exactly. Like I would never say that. Also, the biggest red flag is on a first date. If a guy brings up anything about past relationships. Yeah, my ex was just like, you know, like...

not right you know so crazy so crazy i find the most attractive thing is when you try to get a guy to talk shit about his ex and he's like honestly she was pretty cool i respect that i don't like it like yeah she's like like once des was like yeah we fought the whole time but like honestly she was a good person and i was like was she and he's like no yeah she was we'll text her

At BlueNile.com, you can find endless ways to make your moments sparkle. From classic and timeless jewelry gifts to creating the custom engagement ring of her dreams. All at prices you won't find at a traditional jeweler. And right now, you can save up to 40% on fine jewelry and 25% on engagement ring settings during the Blue Nile Anniversary Sale. Going on now. Go to BlueNile.com to shop the Blue Nile Anniversary Sale and save up to 40%.

That's BlueNile.com. You guys know that I hate leaving the house and I only grocery shop online. Thrive Market makes shopping for healthy groceries easy, stress-free, and tailored to you and your family's needs. Freestyle olives are my absolute favorite olives, and I discovered them on Thrive Market. I actually gave my friend Taylor a bag the other day because they were in my kitchen.

And I was like, if you haven't tried these, you absolutely have to. And not only do I save time shopping as a Thrive Market member, I also save money on every single grocery order. On average, I save over 30% each time. And when you join Thrive Market, you are also helping a family in need with their one-for-one membership matching program. Plus, Thrive Market now accepts Snap EBT.

So save time and money by getting it all in one place with Thrive Market. Go to thrivemarket.com slash giggly for 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's T-H-R-I-V-E market.com slash giggly. Thrivemarket.com slash giggly.

It's my favorite time of year. It's summer going into fall. It's the best fashion part of the year. It's my favorite season and sometimes shifting your summer wardrobe to fall can be a little bit of a challenge, but luckily we have Quince, which offers timeless and high quality items that I absolutely adore. And the best part about it is it's

completely on budget. They have cashmere sweaters from $50, pants for every occasion, and all of Quince's items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. And Quince only works with factories that use safe

ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes that you'll absolutely adore. I have this navy blue cashmere set from quince and I'm always using the sweater during the summer to like tie around my shoulders. So make switching seasons a breeze with quince's high quality closet essentials. Go to quince.com slash giggly for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Giggly. I don't know if you guys have noticed from my Instagram stories, but I've basically switched all my loungewear over to Skims. I was obviously obsessed with their bras and underwear, but now I really can't get enough of their soft lounge collection. I have their soft lounge tank with...

with their matching lounge fold over pant. I'm absolutely obsessed. Not only do I wear it inside, but I actually wear it to travel a lot too. I noticed in my drawer the other day that basically all my bras and underwears are skims, but also now all of my t-shirts and my loungewear is skims.

I've pretty much cleared out all my lounge sets after I moved. I just like got rid of everything. I was like, I don't need all of these random sweatpants and sweatshirts and really replaced everything with skims because I know it's always going to look good and I know it always feels amazing. And you know how much I love laying in bed. So if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan.

How do you feel about guys being friends with their exes?

No, no, no, no. Because going back to the original, they're not your friend. They never were. No, I think it's inappropriate and disgusting. I would never bring my ex-boyfriend that I would was significant in my life around Craig and I right now.

Like, no. And if you really care about him, it's like, I would never put him in that situation. That's how you know you don't care about someone when you're like, let's put three guys I'm talking to at the same time at this party and just see what kind of recklessness ensues. Craig doesn't even know what my ex-boyfriend's name is. He doesn't even know. Like, he doesn't even know what he looks like. He's like, what's his name again? Doesn't even...

Oh my God. But I feel like that's how it should be because they're so irrelevant to your life. A thousand percent, especially when you've healthily moved on. Okay, I have a crazy question that someone DM'd me. You don't have to answer it, but I think it's fun. Okay. Do you remember your list on season one of Summer House for us? Mm-hmm. How many things does Craig check off your list? I'm going to go to it.

A lot of them. Like some of them are so specific. Some of them are so crazy. But like a lot of them. I would say most of them. I love that for you. Because that's manifestation. Yeah, I manifested, correct. Do you have a New Year's resolution? For sure. This is going to sound so not me. But since I bought myself an iPad like a couple weeks ago, I want to read more.

Like on my iPad. I feel like having an iPad is your new personality type. Like I want to download books on my iPad. You have to learn how to read first. It's going to take forever.

Wait, is it because you saw Alex Cooper's reading books? Honestly, I've been getting a lot of influence from Instagram. Like, everyone's out here reading and, like, enjoying it. Like, what's my deal? Look, Instagram's a lie. Don't believe anything from Instagram. These influencers are literally taking photos with the books upside down. Like... I have a real issue with certain books. Like, I have beef with certain books. I... Whenever I'm depressed, I'll order, like, six self-help books about, like...

your ego and emotional code and attachments. And I realized if you could read a book to find happiness, everyone would be fucking happy. And I feel like there's a lot of people that don't know a lot of shit who will write a book to be like, this is going to solve everything. Dude, I'm not trying to read, like, I think I'm perfect. So I'm not trying to, like, read anything about myself, like, about changing myself. I want some, like, I want some, like, fiction stuff.

craziness you have you heard any of the drama with Rachel Hollis

women who went viral because she wrote a book called girl wash your face and it's like it motivates you to live a better life you know like all these millennial books that's like just fucking kick the patriarchy in the nuts like let's make fucking money yeah it's always like yeah i'm over the bullshit no that's definitely a book title so she writes this book it goes viral

She charges like crazy amount of money for people go to these. She's kind of being like a Tim Robbins or whatever. Tony. Tony Robbins. Isn't Tim Robbins like a place to get coffee? Anyway. I feel like there is something...

That's like a grocery store. No, I think it's like a Canadian coffee shop. My brain is a scary place. But it's like Brene Brown type shit. It gives me cult vibes. I've watched a lot of cults. So this woman basically charges thousands of dollars for people to go to her things and she motivates you. And recently...

She had this whole thing about how to have a healthy relationship and all this stuff and find love. And the last couple of months she got divorced and people are like freaking out. Like you're a liar. You've lied to us. You don't understand like the answer to anything type of shit.

And I'm like, she's a fucking human. She's not a sorcerer. But like they pitch themselves like they're sorcerers. And I just feel like if you have to pay a lot of money for self-help, if you have to pay a lot of money to like learn how to start a business, like they find the most vulnerable people who are in the darkest times of their life. And they're like, pay this money and I'm going to teach you the answer to life. And it's like, no one fucking knows. That's why I want to read like a dirty sex novels. Oh, I love that for you.

Thank you. Sorry, I took this in such a dark direction. Yeah, I'm just trying to read like a Fifty Shades of Grey or something. Oh, okay. You came at me pretty hard. Yeah, sorry about that. I'm sorry about the last five minutes. Oh, shit. I just threw my phone at the... Okay. Oh, wait. Des is texting me. What is he saying? Tim Robbins is an actor. Tim Hortons is a coffee place in Canada. Tim Hortons.

Thanks, Des. Little fact checker in the background. He doesn't even want to be listening to this podcast. Wait, Tim Hortons. Wow, that's fucking hilarious. Ooh, okay. Meeting the parents before you're official. Yeah, it's actually, that actually happened in my relationship and I was very weary about it. And I said something to him. What did you say? I said, look,

if I'm meeting your parents, like that's a big step for me. And if you don't see this being anything serious, then no, I don't want to. And he was like, okay, so you're going to meet my parents. I was like, okay. I like that because you basically gave him an ultimatum, but in like the lightest, most respectful way. Like if you want something from me, I just need to know that this is like the direction we're headed. Yeah.

I said, look, I'm looking out for you because your parents will then ask you about me for the rest of your life. And if you're, you know, not ready for that, then don't introduce them to me because I'm a parent's dream. That is the perfect way to deal with the situation. I've like got out of relationships and the mom still texts me and I'm like, oh.

How sad is this? How did we find ourselves here, Sally? You know, how did we get into this mess? I would like bond with moms because she would look at me and she'd be like, he's so fucking annoying. And I'd be like, I know. And next thing you know, like we're best friends. I don't even, we like hang out on our own. Talk about how dumb their son is. Love him though. You love him. My biggest red flag though I ever got from meeting a parent.

Fuck off.

Like, basically warning me, like, oh, if you don't, like, keep him on his toes, he's going to cheat on you. And I'm like, what? One time I was at a family dinner at a restaurant with my boyfriend and his parents, and his mom literally tried to set him up with the waitress. And I was just like, hello? Oh, my God. Yeah, it was one of the craziest experiences ever. Needless to say, the mom hated me. Yeah.

She's like, look how good she's cleaning up that fork. Has Paige ever picked up a fork? She literally goes, look how pretty the waitress is. And like her accent. Oh my God. And she went on about it for like five minutes. It's Long Island, okay? Yeah. I was like, you think this bitch is actually French? She's not French.

She's not from Paris. She's from Suffolk. Yeah. I know. It's crazy. But that does remind me of like the sexual tension between like any waiter who's around your age, who's decent looking. You're like, we're going to fall in love. Such sexual tension. Like at the airport. Yeah. I get looked at way more at the airport than anywhere else. Same. You like become this like mysterious, like jet setter girl. Yeah.

Yeah. And he's just like, where is she going and what is she doing? And then you just see yourself in a movie like you're looking out at the airplanes and you're just like just traveling through life. You know that, you know, Emily DiDonato? Yeah. She met her husband on a plane. Yeah, that is fucking incredible. But also she is a Maybelline model. So let's not...

assume it's going to happen all the time. She could have been her husband. In my head, I look like a Maybelline model, but when I'm on a flight, I'm a potato. I'm the one that's falling asleep and twitching when I think my head's about to fall. I'm that annoying bitch. My head was doing that a lot this trip. You just...

I feel like we've both been traveling so much. Do you have any traveling tips to stay healthy and fresh? Honestly, the only one that I really think works and it's the easiest one is just chugging water. You're right. You have to chug water. Like chugging it. Also, don't you get bloated after flights? Like I am a fart machine after flights. I'm so, it's not even that. It's that my stomach gets so like hard. Yeah. Yeah.

And they get hurt. It just reminds us that we're all just molecules of water and flesh, you know? Anyway, with that said, do we have any front page news? Wait, what do you think about everyone saying Kim Kardashian photoshopped true in the picture when it was clearly stormy?

it's so weird like why'd she do that kim photoshopping a kid into a photo is the least surprising thing i've ever heard like because people don't understand the length of photoshopping these motherfuckers are doing like they're redrawing their whole bodies every time they post a photo she was making an nft yeah she's actually on her way to the bahamas with who literally

With Pete Davidson. Oh my God. For like a post New Year's vacation. I have like random tea from the comedy community. I know someone who had sex with Pete Davidson. She said his penis was incredible. Really? And I don't know what that really means because let's be honest. She just said she loved his dick. And I'm like, okay, like, does anyone really love his dick?

a dick like she didn't give me specifics but I was like I've never been like cut off the guy and just give me the dick just want to stare at that fucking aardvark they're pretty interchangeable you know so like I guess he's good in bed and then apparently he said she's really good in bed apparently he said this girl apparently Pete said that Kim is like a beast in the sack or something

I don't like the term the sack. Or calling me a beast, you know? That's what you took from that. If someone said, Paige, you're a beast in the sack, I'd be offended. I'd be mad. I'd be pissed.

I'm like, I'm not a dainty, sexy flower. Yeah. You turn into a werewolf and all your lasered hair just comes back while you have sex. And then it goes away again. I don't like it. What did you think about Miley Cyrus's chemistry with Pete? Because people are like, oh, we like them better. I kind of did, too. I do. They just fit better. Or are they just like two like weed friends who like to smoke weed and talk shit together?

I think they're too similar. I think they're probably very similar. I don't think that she would be his type. I think he would be her type, but I don't see him. He dates pretty much the same type of girl. He dates brunettes with dark eyes, dark hair. He dates us. He loves us. He loves us.

And she likes to date clean cut guys and occasionally a girl. Both of their types are not each other. They're turned off by each other. They hate each other. Did you see how she lost her top and just rocked it? She's wild. I feel like she feels more comfortable losing her top. She wanted to lose her top. I feel like she's probably a lot nuttier than me. Yeah.

But she's had such a long-term career, which is impressive. Have you watched Any Sex in the City yet? No, you haven't, have you? No, I just like to listen to what people are saying about it. People hate it. People are so mad. They hate where the story's going? I don't hate it, though. They just made them so old. They're giving them problems that 80-year-olds have. Like they have arthritis and stuff? Yeah. Like Steve's death in one year. You know?

I feel like there's a lot of Samantha backlash in the interwebs. People being like, we want Samantha, we want Samantha. But in Samantha's, the actress might go on like, how I met your...

Father. Father. And then she also might be on like a new season of what? A Hillary Duck show. Oh. Have you watched any dope documentaries? Yes, I have. I have. Okay. I was waiting for you to ask this whole time. There's a documentary about Von Dutch out on Hulu. Are you familiar with Von Dutch? Yes.

I saw the, I watched the trailer. I didn't, or the preview or whatever. I didn't watch it. How was it? I have to let you guys know, Paige fully just went into bed, just pillow to pillow talk. So it basically shows how Von Dutch was created and how it was the hottest thing, Paris Hilton. And then it shows Paris Hilton being like, I'd basically die if I got caught in Von Dutch right now. But it,

Fast forward, there's like all these sketchy dudes who are involved in Von Dutch and like people get murdered and stuff. People get murdered? Yeah, there's just like really sketchy characters who are part of Von Dutch and there's a lot of money involved. And people like fight over who started it? Yeah, it started as just like a chill little brand that got so fucking popular. Oh, because Tommy Lee.

wore it in his mtv cribs video and all the girls who were hanging out his jacuzzis were wearing von dutch tank tops and hats and like it just fucking back then shit would blow up based on like one cable tv show you know like nowadays there's so much going on it's hard to blow up from something but they just and they mismanage the money it gets and it's violent um next i've been watching succession have you watched succession

Okay, well this is my argument about Succession. I hated it and I thought it was boring and I thought every conversation was basically the same until the last episode of season two and then I was like, oh this shit's good.

Wait, the last episode of season two. I think I loved it all of season two. Yeah, season two was good. Yeah, season one, I was like, okay, this might be a little over my head. Like, this is, like, a little too much. But just, it's so good. But it is that kind of show where people be like, hey, after 47 episodes, it gets lit. Like, you just have to, like, push through. So if you want to waste your life...

It eventually gets good. Giggling in bed brought to you by Mattress Firm. Sometimes sleeping next to your boyfriend or girlfriend is the most amazing experience ever. It's so lovely to watch them be so peaceful, except when they're snoring so loud. And I think to myself, how are you even sleeping because you're ruining my day?

And then I think to myself, obviously you're on a mattress firm mattress, which can truly make anyone sleep like an actual baby. Mattress firm offers a 120 night sleep trial. So you can rest easy with mattress firm for 120 nights. And if you don't love it, you can get your money back.

I upgraded to a Mattress Firm mattress this year and truly my sleep has never been better. I've created an entire sanctuary right in my bed and everyone should be sleeping like me and Craig who snores. So text Giggly Squad to 766693 for an extra 20% off your next purchase at Mattress Firm. Exclusions apply. Get matched at Mattress Firm's best sale of the year, the Labor Day sale and sleep at night.

There are 365 days a year, which means there are 365 days where you might need to buy someone a birthday present. I absolutely love giving the perfect gift to the perfect person. So why not simplify the process with Aura Digital Picture Frame? Ranked the number one digital picture frame by Wirecutter, Aura frames are easy to set up, update and enjoy.

You can even preload with photos and gift messages. So whether you're giving the frame to your best friend, your dad, or your Aunt Susan, you can be sure your gift is personalized just for them. I have gifted Aura Frames actually to Craig's family before because it truly is the perfect gift. And to always be like uploading, changing pictures, it's like a new picture frame every day. Every Aura Frame comes with unlimited storage so you can preload the frame with as many photos as you want.

All you need is the Aura app and a Wi-Fi connection. Right now, Aura is having their very first friends and family sale, and we've got an exclusive offer just for gigglers. For a limited time only, you can get $35 off their best-selling frame by visiting auraframes.com and using promo code GIGGLY at checkout. That's A-U-R-A frames dot com, promo code GIGGLY. This is the best offer of the season, so don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply.

There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks...

And it seems like you don't keep track from the ones from last year, so you have to rebuy. But don't stress about the cost. Use Ibotta and get cash back on all of your purchases when you stock up on all of your summer essentials. You can save on over 2,400 brands and shop at over 1,000 retailers, including your favorite grocery stores, Lowe's, Macy's, Sephora, Best Buy, and more.

The average Ibotta user earns $256 per year. That could cover the cost of an entire shopping trip. Right now, Ibotta is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using code GIGGLY when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play Store and download free Ibotta app to start earning cash back and use code GIGGLY. That's I-B-O-T-T-A in the Google Play or App Store and use code GIGGLY.

I also just wrote down Bobby Flay and it's because when I'm traveling I put beat Bobby Flay on on cable and I'm very sexually attracted to Bobby Flay I met Bobby Flay over the summer shut the fuck up where in Saratoga one of my girlfriends is really good friends with his daughter and

And she had... My girlfriend happened to be in Saratoga when I was there. And I was texting her and I was like... And she was like, oh, meet me at this bar. And then I walked in and she was sitting at a table with Bobby Flay. And I was just like...

What were the vibes? I was so starstruck. Was he chill? He was very, he was really chill. I mean, he was like a dad. It's like I was there and like his daughter was on the other side. Yeah. And he was like, nice to meet you. And then like, I went up to the bar and got a drink. I don't know where Bobby Flay was. But it was like meeting someone's dad. Like it wasn't.

Like, yeah, it's Bobby Flay, but it was also just like meeting your friend's dad. But I was like, why am I so attracted to Bobby Flay? I'm like, I like his like Queen's accent. Like, I like that he's older and that I'm like, wait, I'm just attracted to Des. Can Des cook? No, but he's really good with like ordering food fast. Good for him. Good. I saw you guys have been cooking. Yeah, he's good with that. Craig is actually...

Craig's actually so good. I feel like people will never talk about Craig's ability to cook. And I feel like this is important information that we just learned. And he wasn't just cooking. He had like seven different kettles going at the same time. Yeah, he made like a full dinner. And I just sat there. Having a guy cook while you don't move a finger is third wave feminism.

Yeah, he makes plans to go to grocery stores and writes lists down. It's really hot. I love a man with a list and a purpose. Yeah, we'll be at the grocery store and he'll be like, get whatever you want. Say less. I intend to, buddy. I need these macaroons immediately. You're like, I like shopping at Zara and Stop and Shop. Those are my two favorite places. That's also a very homey place.

couple-y thing to do together. I remember the first time I went to the grocery store with Des and I'm like, oh, we're married. Yeah, I feel like if you can have fun at the grocery store with your significant other, you have a really good relationship going on. Yeah, I feel like dating is too much just like going out to eat. I feel like dates need to be more in normal places where things could go wrong. Like go to HomeGoods and just like smell every candle and see how long it takes for him to snap.

Or like... Or, yeah, like the DMV. But like...

wait at the DMV till the very end. And then when you get to the front, forget your passport and see what he does. Like that's, I break up with you. I know. That's why we're not dating together. Cause that's just an everyday activity for me. I give you are very similar in situations like that where like he would forget his license to go renew his license, you know? And like you would do that. And I would just be like, this is one job. Yeah.

But anyway, Paige, thank you for somehow off your iPhone figuring out how to get on Giggly this week. Everyone, pray to St. Anthony. Pray to whoever you believe in for her bags to come home. If you see something, say something. For all the rich people in Aspen, if you're listening, give her her fucking bags back, okay? Or we're going to have a fucking problem. Help me, I'm poor. But I do think...

This is a learning experience and I'm rooting for you and it's going to be okay. I'm going to make the most of it. Maybe I'll French braid my hair or something. They don't even have a TJ Maxx. They don't have any like normal place. They don't even have a fucking McDonald's here.

Well, if you need clothes, go to giggly-squad.com for merch. And we love you guys so much. And thank you for giggling with us. It's 2022, bitches. Let's go. Let's go.