Giggling about Braxton, Charlie, and Zendaya
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I mean, the day just got away from me. Look at you pulling up from page news. Okay, prepared. I have so many things I want to talk about. Really? Yeah. Are you drunk? Really just one. Drunk? You'd like that, wouldn't you? You'd like if I had a problem. No, you just are in such a good mood. Like, you're so late. Oh my god, how depressed am I usually?

How bitchy. Does she not seem like in a very happy, goofy mood? She seems like she's in a nice, even keel, happy mood. How unpleasant am I usually? No, you can't flip it to me, first of all. I'm not on the pot. I'm not on the pot. Go ahead. Hello. How convenient. Hello, my grated cheese gigglers. Yes.

Paige is back from Italy and she's a new person. She is like so refreshed. I'm a pillar of the health community. A pillar of positivity. And non-toxic positivity, like real positivity. Do you want to know what I... First of all, I'm not drunk, but I'm probably a little loopy because I've been up since 4 a.m. Oh, wait, you're jet lagged. That's what's going on. I'm fully jet lagged. That's what's going on. I know you so well. I just knew some...

No, I'm not right. Something wasn't connecting. I woke up and I made a smoothie. Got my NutriBullet out from retirement that I didn't even remember I had that I bought six years ago. Threw some fucking berries in there. Did a yoga flow. No, you didn't. Folded my laundry. Called my mom. I was a full dad today. I put in a full day before you even woke up. And I've been waiting to say that to anyone today.

then right after they tell you that they take a nap I'm like dad well you're sleeping from 10 a.m. to 4 literally my dad goes to bed at 8 p.m. I

I'm like, so did you do more? My dad wakes everyone up at 7 a.m. and then he sleeps the entire day. You know how you always see like TikToks or whatever or you hear stories of like people's parents on vacation and like how annoying the dads are in the morning? I never had that kind of dad. Like we didn't go on vacation and like I don't ever remember like waking up early and like going and doing activities. Something came over my father this trip.

That every single night at dinner, it was the same conversation. So is anyone going to wake up tomorrow for breakfast? This man was going to breakfast at 7 a.m. 7 a.m. Also, like, when did this become a military outing? I texted him this morning while we were all on jet lag at 5 a.m. And I said, anyone ready for breakfast?

You motherfucker. But the thing is, if I'm going to get up for breakfast early, it will be on vacation when they have like really dope breakfast. Yeah. Italy like doesn't really do breakfast. Like they freak out when it comes to breakfast. No, Italy serves dessert and calls it breakfast. They go, here's a cake. Yeah, they're like, they don't know what's happening. But then I feel like they also try and cater to like Americans. So they're like, prosciutto? It's kind of like bacon. I'm like, I don't know if I want that though, syrup. Yeah.

But, you know, so the breakfast is trash, I think, in Italy. Nothing in Italy is trash. But I think the breakfast is not, like, the highest on my list. No. And then they would bring you coffee in, like, little coffee pots, okay? Everyone would get their own little coffee pot. Cute. And I would say that there's, like, six to seven cups in that pot. We would go down to meet my dad in the morning, and he'd be two pots deep. This man would be 14 cups of coffee deep.

He's doing speed. He would have scaled the perimeter twice, made sure everything was okay, and then we could go to the pool. I felt like my dad had turned into Will Ferrell during that Kicking and Screaming movie. Like, he had, like, got two Italians on the team, and then he's, like, obsessed with espresso. Like, the man's never had espresso, and if you refused it, it was like you put shame on his family. I was like, this is the first time you've ever fucking had it. I can't handle it.

You today, you are iconic in every sense of the word. I think it's my tan. I feel different. True. I looked in the mirror today because I went outside for like 15 minutes in Louisville. It was pretty much like your tan vacation. Is that why you're wearing...

What you're wearing? I am wearing a hunting outfit, a camo outfit. Are you laughing? No. Oh, now you're in the pod. Now he wants to be on the pod. I am wearing camo in an ironic way. Okay. Because when a New Yorker girl wears camo, she's silly. She's artsy. She's quirky. But then I have people in my DMs being like, you just look like my neighbor. Go Badgers. Go Badgers. But I like it. I think it's, and also people say like, I get hide. You can hide? Yeah.

Where would one buy a shirt like that? My Amazon storefront. I knew you were going to say it. Amazon storefront. My Amazon storefront. It's so funny. I actually had a meeting today at Amazon. Not only did we ban your storefront, but- Did they ask about my Amazon storefront? I brought it up. I brought it up. And that is what friends are for. Find a friend who talks about your Amazon storefront when you're not there.

What's in a negative way? We're brain... No, it wasn't. It was half negative, half positive. Give me an example of a storefront that is not good for the community. What's watering down the Amazon brand? Which creators should we change their password to ASAP?

404, page not found. In this meeting, and we're talking about, like, ideas and what we can do next and what, like, how are we growing the Amazon? Like, what are we doing? Blah, blah, blah. Because you're fully the COO. I literally... The CFO, the chief fashion officer of Amazon. Can we dial Jeff in? Like, I need answers. But so we're talking, and I was like, well, like...

my friend Hannah and like I always say that but everyone knows and I'm like I really think there's an opportunity to do something really funny with Hannah because she has a storefront and

And I just paused for everyone's reactions. I was like, no, I know. She has a storefront. But it's totally different than mine. It's totally different. It's her own just passion project. Your storefront is so you. It really is. When was the last time you looked at it? I updated it recently. I actually looked at it not too long ago, and I bought something from it. I needed something for our podcast thing. Thank you for those seven cents. Drink some of me tonight.

Speaking of dads on vacation, I'm not done. You saw the TikTok trend of every dad on vacation where like they have nothing with them, like not a bag, maybe holding like the mom's purse and then the same like New Balance sneakers and the same shorts. Where do they get these khaki shorts?

There's a dad store somewhere that they're like, I feel like it's like when you get older and you get like an AARP in the mail. There's some there's some point in their 40s where it's like, here's the short store. Yeah. And I think their wives just give up on them at that point. At that point. Yeah. I also what's it called? The hats that everyone's wearing. Ironically, it's called like Bass. Bass Pro Shop. Bass Pro Shop.

I didn't know it was a real store. Yeah, that's, yeah. I went to Oklahoma and there was a Bass Pro Shop. I've never seen one in the flesh. I saw it. It was huge. And someone was like, do you want to go in? And they were like, they have guns. And I was like, what? And then I thought it would be so funny to like vlog me going into a Bass Pro Shop being like, do you have a baby blue revolver? And asking about the guns. No, the South is different.

It's so different. One time, I wasn't even in the South. I was in Delaware, but it might as well be the South. I walked into a grocery store. There was people standing next to me. Hannah, gun to my head, if you asked me what did they just have a conversation about, I would have died right then and there. I looked at Craig, and I was like, what did they just say? Could he understand them? He understood them perfectly. He spoke Delawarean. He did.

But it was around Thanksgiving, and they were talking about... They won't open their mouth. Okay, that's what it is. It's one syllable the whole time. It's monotone, but their mouths stay the same. And it was about deep-frying turkeys. And I said, well, actually, if you deep-fry a turkey, you can actually just take a hanger and stick it up there. You don't have to buy all the contraptions. And I was like, what? Also, everyone in the South sounds like they're blackout. Yes. Because I went to Louisville. Yep.

It's not Louisville. Okay. It's not Louisville. You have to say Louisville. Louisville. And I'm like, guys, I can't do that. And they were like, pretend you have like 10 grapes in your mouth and you're blackout. And I was like, Louisville. And they were like, perfect. Nailed it. But then I was saying at my show, I got off the plane and I was in Kentucky and I saw, you can't say Kentucky Fried Chicken. It's called KFC. But I saw a KFC restaurant.

In Kentucky. In its home state. I felt like I was in Paris looking at the Louvre. Yes. And I was looking around, I'm like, is anyone else admiring? I'm so glad that...

Oh my God, Hannah, we're so simpatico because I'm so glad that you're telling this story, that you are having an appreciation for the culture of America's best fast food chains. Thank you. Because all while I'm in Europe, I kept saying, what day are we going to get McDonald's? Anyone want to get McDonald's? And everyone looked at me like I was absolutely out of my tree. I'm in Spain, okay, and me and Craig have to go to this dinner party.

I, like, filmed this show in Spain. I'll tell the gigglers, like, when it all comes out. But whatever. It was really fun. And it was the guy that was the host of it was this Italian hairstylist. Didn't speak a lick of English. Let me tell you. Did they warn you? I mean, he did speak English. But, like, I, there was a lot of head nodding coming from my area. But I went out to dinner with him the night before. And it was very traditional Spain foods. Mm-hmm.

And I'm going to try it all, okay? I'm going to put it in my mouth. I'm going to try it all. I'm going to tell you I love it. Yes. Because I'm also, like, working for this guy the next day. What? I'm going to say, like, the dinner he brought me to, and he's raving about it. He's like, this is the best thing you could ever eat. They do tapas, right? They do tapas. It was a very fish-centric meal. Do you like fish? I like it cooked. I sure do. Yeah.

Hannah, I had shrimp carpaccio. Yeah. They take shrimp. They hammer it. They flatten it out nice, make it look really pretty. Flesh. Looks like literal flesh. Like semen. I had to put it on bread and eat it.

And smile. I had to put it on bread, eat it, and smile. Immediately got back to my hotel room and ordered McDonald's like a normal fucking person. Wait, you're so happy he doesn't speak English so he can't listen to this podcast. He's not listening to this podcast. Again, that's one of those fancy foods that I'm like, I can make that. Like, I could make that. If I come to your house in the Hamptons this summer and you're serving up shrimp carpaccio...

I'll lose it. I'll literally lose my mind. Did you ask what things were? You were just like, oh, I know. After the second course, I thought it best not to because I, as this man's talking, I'm trying not to vomit because, you know, I have my like my vomiting. And then I'm pushing things. Craig had to eat double to not insult this guy. He liked some of it, but I could see him sweating like he's sweating, but he has to eat what's on my plate because he knows I'll throw up right at the table. Don't tempt me with a good time.

So a lot of things happened. Carpaccio sounds like a cute pet name. Carpacci. Wait. Carpaccio. Is that my cat's name? Carpaccio? I think Pesto.

Oh, that is cute. Carpaccio also sounds like it is a mafia boss, like Mr. Carpaccio. You know? You have to say it like that, though. Wait, so did you have any run-ins with the mafia? And we can make that joke because we are Italian. And she did have run-ins with the mafia. Did I have any run-ins? Not that I was aware of. You know when you spend a lot of time with people?

people on vacation, like certain quirks start to come out. And I was afraid for my family to like see all of Craig's quirks. But one of them is that he thinks that he will be asked to be in the CIA at some point in his lifetime. It's the same with like he's landing the plane. He's killing a shark. He's landing in the plane. He's also going to be in the CIA. So that's just something I live with on my day-to-day basis, dating him. I'm so excited.

But like, what if he's a master manifester and it's going to happen? Because he's manifesting. He's manifesting. And I've pointed out all the reasons on why he's, that's not going to happen to him. Okay. And I'm like, you have the biggest mouth ever. You would tell everyone you're in the CIA. And he was like, but that's the perfect cover up.

Like if I'm talking about it, no one's going to think I'm in the CIA. Someone's going to see me on Southern Charm and be like, no one would think this guy would be in the CIA. And that delusion has carried over to me that I think on every vacation I'm going to get involved with like a huge cartel or the mafia. Like I'm just waiting for them to come up to me and be like, you're now a part of our cult. Because, you know, you thought you were going to get kidnapped and now you realize, no, no, no, I'm the kidnapper. I'm the kidnapper.

I'm not the kidnappy. In Italy, I'm the kidnapper. You saw that documentary about the girl who accidentally ended up going to jail for drug trafficking. Yep. That's like, that's a pretty big fear of mine. I guess, are you like me? Every time I like walk through any security of any kind, especially the airport, I'm like, do I have cocaine in my pussy? No, you literally, you and Craig are the same. No, like they'll look at me in a type of way and I'm like, oh, they know.

They know. Can I tell you a crazy thing that happened to me at TSA leaving fucking Spain? What? It's early in the morning. Okay, we're going through security at like 8 a.m. I'm going through. I get through. My bags come through. Everything's great. And he's like, I have to go through your bag again. Okay, great. I have nothing in there. I think I had a weed pen in there, but I'm not even thinking. I'm not even worried about it. Like, I've got my cover story. It's nicotine. Like, I'm cool. Mm-hmm.

The guy that's doing the TSA, now Craig gets through. Now other people behind me, they get through. They're going. He leaves. He's like, I'll be right back. And I'm like, where is this fucking guy going? He goes and gets two police officers, okay?

Now I'm starting to, like, sweat a little. And I'm, like, looking around, like, what's going on? Is Craig freaking out? Craig's calm, cool, and collected. I didn't know underneath he's having a full panic attack because he also thinks it's the weed in my bag. Yeah. But in my head, I'm like, there's no way they're bringing two officers. I'm Googling, like— But you never know overseas. You never know. Brittany Griner was put in for less. I'm literally like, oh, my God, I manifested it. Like, I'm going to jail. Imagine Joe Biden be like—

reality TV star Beja Sorbo. We have to switch her. It's all in the game. I'm like, do they serve shrimp carpaccio in jail here? What is the jail food in Spain? So I'm freaking out. I'm like, I, like, just like breathe, breathe. So then Craig asked the officer, like, what's going on? Can he speak, can Craig speak Spanish? No.

So he's asking the officer what's going on. The officer's like, oh, they detected a chemical. Like, they're just doing another check. They take my passport. They run my stuff to see if I'm on, like, Ed's type of list. You're like, I'm TSA pre. Like, I'm literally clear in America. You guys don't have it? I have clear. I'm global entry. I think my DH gate bag had some crazy chemicals on it, and they thought I was making a bomb.

Because they didn't even go in my bag. They took nothing out of my bag. I could see my weed pen. The guy looked at it, didn't. He's rubbing all these swabs on my bag. I was this close to being like, it's DHgate. All the girlies are around you and you're like, it's real. It's embarrassing too. This is hilarious because you told me you did a DHgate haul. Yeah. If you don't know what DHgate is, it's where we get our fake shit.

Let's go straight to jail after saying this. But whatever. It's very high quality. And highly illegal. And highly illegal. We live on the edge. It's like millennial women's LimeWire. It's fully LimeWire. You're like, everyone does it, but anyone can do it.

Anyone can go to jail at any point. And we're just waiting. Like, who is getting an officer at their front door? Wait, so that's crazy. So they're checking the bag, and you're just like... There was no other explanation. There was no... Like, they kept saying a chemical, but then they did my hands, and I didn't have, like, no chemicals came up on my hands. I feel like Craig was low-key jealous that you seemed like a spy. I was like, well...

obviously like they're checking all of my stuff because I have secrets from the government and they know it. And he's like, that's not true. Wait, how jealous would he be if you got the call? To be a spy? Yeah. It would be like Mr. and Mrs. Smith, except only Mrs. Smith is the FBI agent. He would cry so hard. I'd have to like say, literally it's like my child. I'd have to say, you're also a spy too. You can come watch mommy work.

I really feel like you look like a spy. Every spy movie, it's always like the seductive, tiny. Yeah, she's mysterious. If I could speak another language. Oh my God. Spy. That's why I'm like a little annoyed with this. Like he can speak Mandarin, he speaks Gaelic, he speaks English. Why can't he speak Spanish?

well, you can't speak anything, but you're mad he doesn't know a fourth language? Yes. What an underachiever he is. Besides Mandarin, it's the most spoken language, I feel like. Yeah. I mean, I'm probably making that up, but there's many times when I'm like, you don't fucking know Spanish? Yeah. That's like high school shit. Right. I mean, I took eight years of it. I didn't say one thing. I think I'm delusional. I think I know Spanish. Yeah.

And then I always crack under pressure. Like, I'll know more. Yeah, because you don't know Spanish. No, but I'm like, I know the words. And then they'll start talking to me and I will full go Spanglish every time. I'll be like, yo, don't know what's going on. When we were in Spain, Craig would add one Spanish word into an English sentence. He's like, donde? Bathroom? I'm like, that, you're not speaking Spanish. But did you see Hilaria Baldwin?

In Spain? Yes. I saw her family. You saw her family. And they had a Boston accent. Is there anything else we need to know from your amazing Italian vacation? I wasn't bloated at all. I didn't bloat one time. Did you have diarrhea? No. Did you puke?

I puked once, but that's because I was drinking. But I got home immediate bloating. I didn't even, it was like my body was like, oh, we're back in New York. Let's bloat. And I, yesterday, I'm not kidding. I took a pregnancy test. I was like, I got home and the baby's dropped. Sure.

like this is there's no way that this is just me bloating Craig was concerned he kept coming up and poking my stomach he's like this isn't normal and I was like no this is just like being a girl so you're at the point now where you'll show him the full bloat no I had it was low rise pajama pants crop top belly out I mean I was in such pain I was also holding my stomach like a baby it does make you

- It makes you feel better with the bloat when you're like, "Will I love this child?" - I literally kept looking at myself in the mirror and I was like, "Wait, but how fucking cute am I pregnant?" 'Cause like it's not funny. I was like, "Adorable." - I did start to think like, okay, if this pregnancy test comes up positive, my first thought was, "Am I gonna tell my mom?" And then I was like, "I'm 30, I'm 30." - No, you are a child guy. - And no, I wouldn't tell my mom you're a child. - Speaking of babies,

Kourtney Kardashian is having another baby, and I'm so happy because what does the world need but another Kardashian? 100%. And I have to make an announcement. You know, I've never, ever fully watched the Kardashians from the beginning of a season to the end. It'll always be on, but I've never been like, I'm watching this show. I'll watch parts of it. I've never committed to watching the Kardashians. I don't know what, why, but...

I think I'm going to commit and watch this season coming up because I feel like there's like real drama between Kim and Kourtney. I think I've watched every single episode of every single season. Do you think this next season is going to be juicy? I'm currently watching this season. Oh, is it already out? Yeah. You're doing great so far. You're doing literally amazing. I was like, I am going to commit my life to this. When does it come out? I think we're six episodes deep. Is it good?

It's good. They, like, drag out a lot of their stuff. And I just like looking at them. It's funny to watch the reality show because obviously, like, we know how, like, things are made in reality TV and, like,

How like, like, okay, like, Kim went out to lunch with Scott and the conversation was 20 seconds. They said three things to each other. It was like, that was a scene that they dragged out into like two minutes and it was like nothing happened there. They drag a lot of stuff out. Honestly, if you're really going to try and commit, I would go when they're in their first house.

Like the first couple seasons. That's the best. Yeah. Is there actual beef between Kim and Kourtney right now or is it not really? I think it's over now, but there is legitimate beef. Like they weren't speaking. So the drama is, so Kourtney and Travis did their wedding and it was all Dolce and Gabbana like sponsored. Like they made her dress. They did all the stuff and it was a Dolce and Gabbana wedding.

Six months after that, Dolce & Gabbana asked Kim to be the creative director of their next runway show, pull all the looks she wanted, and basically, like, walk down the runway after the show, like...

I put all the looks together. Courtney thought that it was too soon after her wedding and that Kim was taking the spotlight of having this like Dolce and Gabbana moment. But Kim was like, this is too good of an opportunity to say no to them. Like I've wanted to do this my whole life. I'm the curator of their fashion show. Like no one gets to do that. It's like weird sister competitiveness. Very weird sister competitiveness. Also like there's a little birdie that reached out to us. Yes.

That said, Kim is a giggler. That said that Kim may listen to this podcast. Kim would know who we were if someone showed a picture and also said a lot of things about us. And then it would maybe, possibly, potentially click. This is a Kimberly Noel Kardashian podcast. But I feel like to any celebs, we never go, we all, we're never below the belt because everyone is human. We're never below the belt. And also, what if we meet them? Yeah.

I think I'm going to talk about Amrata. That's your best friend. Why would I do that? Did you see her looking... Amazing in her Jacquemus? How do you say it? Jacquemus? Jacquemus? Jacquemus? Jacquemus? Stunning. Yeah, she looks great. Did you text her? Oh, damn. You're...

I feel like you think I'm cheating on you right now. Well, you are. It's not I think. She looks just like you. I get you guys confused sometimes. Also, I feel like I should drop some... I feel like I should finally drop the tea of the celebrity who DM'd me. Do you think? Do you want to ruin your marriage? Des knows. Are you trying to get divorced? No. You know what? Actually, did you ever tell Des that when that happened that I was like...

So what are we doing? For people who don't know, it was the day before I was going to my bachelorette party. And I was sitting on the couch. I got a DM. I messaged Paige. Paige goes, where do I hide the body? Yeah, like, what do we do? She was like, I'm, let's be honest. Whatever you're down for, I'm down for. So when I first said this on the pod, I didn't want to say anything because whatever. But like now it's like past, like no one cares. And yeah.

The gigglers all figured it out. Yeah. And I don't follow him. Yep. I don't think he follows me. Yeah. I don't know how the fuck they know, but they knew. And they asked us at like two live shows, so I feel like I can't tell some gigglers about the other gigglers. We were showing favoritism. The guy who DM'd me before my bachelorette party was Charlie Booth, and he wrote, I like you. You want to know something?

I kind of love that as a... Opener. Yeah. Because if your opening line to me is like, hey, what's up next? Like, I'm probably not responding. Oh, yeah, that means I have to put in work. I'm like, I don't know. Like, if someone DMed me and was like, we're dating, I'd be like, all right. So the funniest thing about it is that...

Both our moms are obsessed with Charlie Puth. Yes. And I didn't know this. I told my mom and she was like, he has perfect pitch. My mom saw him in one interview and was like, he just seems so nice. He does seem nice. I'm like, mom, that's good PR. Not my traditional type. No. I'm going to be honest. I can't picture what he looks like.

He has this thing on his eyebrow. I gotta pull it up because for whatever reason. This eyebrow, which I think is a scar, which can take a guy from a six to a ten if you have a scar on your face because it means you've seen some shit.

And you've been through adversity. But I just took it as a compliment from an artist seeing another artist. I think he was saying he likes my work. Yeah, he was basically like, you're a woman in the arts and I respect it. Yes. I never... You never even opened it. I never opened it. Wow. But I want to say publicly, Charlie, thank you. But I am a taken woman. Charlie, even though I'm not available...

Both our mothers want to fuck you. Yeah, no, my mom thinks that he would be a great husband. Never met him. Doesn't know a thing about him. No, my mom's obsessed with Charlie Puth. Sorry, not to blow up your spot, but Paige Puth is kind of a dynamite name. Paige Puth? Wait, what if you end up with Charlie Puth? I don't think I will, but you literally never know. I might move to Italy and sell lemons on the side of the street. We thought about it. That's like where I'm at. I will jump on some grapes in Italy. Yes.

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So I go to the J-Law premiere, right? Yes. For the movie. I'm sitting there. I sit down. Okay. Oh, this is such good celebrity gossip, this episode. I sit down with my mom. Adorable. Pilot Pete's right there. Okay. I'm actually so weird with famous people. Like, I don't know how to act. Yeah. And I, like, I never am cool. Just like, hey, I like your show. Yeah. I'm like, I don't know. I didn't watch it. But I fully know who Pilot Pete is. He's sitting next to another guy who I didn't know, but I think is on The Bachelor. Yeah.

And the guy goes, oh, you're a comedian on TikTok. And I was like, thanks. And then Pilot Pete is asking me questions about comedy. And, you know, Pilot Pete and I are like besties. Yeah. And I'm like, come to the stand. Watch out, Charlie Puth. So.

It's all about Pilot Pete. He kind of reminded me of Craig a little bit, Pilot Pete. But like... He talked nonstop. He was chatty. He was very nice. Chatty. Not Southern. Like Craig, if he wasn't Southern... They both have a good head of hair. They're both sweet with a good head of hair. I don't know. Anyways, give me like Pilot Craig. Yep. If Craig could fly a plane...

If Craig, in fact, could land the hijacked plane. So my mom's texting me. She goes, that guy's on the bachelor. I'm like, I know, bitch. I'm in a full, like I'm fully acting at this point. And someone texts me. Oh, Ali Shapiro, Jill's Darren's daughter. She comes in. She goes, Hannah, how are you? I'm going to see you in the Hamptons this summer. You have to do that voice when you're talking. And I was like, Jill, where you been? Where's Jill? Ali, this is my mom. You're going to play tennis this summer. Anyway, she leaves. She texts me. She goes, oh, my God, Alex is behind you.

Alex Earl sits right behind me. First of all, no one's talking about how pretty Alex Earl's sister is. With her sister. Justice for the brunette one. Brunette. No one talks about it. They both have had their glow up, you know? And I love that they're together sisters. So immediately...

I'm done freaking out about Pilot Pete and now I'm like-- - You're fully Alex Earl mode. - I'm like, Pilot Pete, shut up. - Literally put a sock in it, Pete. - I was like, I'm trying to get Alex Earl attention! But then I'm like, the moment has to be organic, it has to be natural, and then I think I wouldn't want someone in front of me to just turn around and be like, hi! We have some mutual friends, I want it to be normal.

And I just, like, never got the balls. You never did it? You never turned? Never turned. I mean, I think, like, I, like, fake turned once or twice. Yeah, you smiled. Didn't make eye contact. Okay. She's so... She was right behind me. She was sitting behind you, so you're more famous than her. I mean... I don't think that's how it worked. Oh, okay. But...

I heard her, she's loving the movie. She's just, she's a baby. She's a baby. She's a 23-year-old. She's so just living her life. But then this girl next to me, or behind me, but over to the side, who I was talking to also, just gets up and is walking past, and she goes, oh, Alex Earl Slay, period. And then she keeps walking. I love Gen Z so much. I was like, that's what I should die. She's just, Alex Earl Slay. How did you not think of that? I didn't think Gen Z quick enough. Yeah. So Alex Earl is my best friend now. Yes. Because I'm...

Even afterwards, I was like, we left. If I see you commenting on Alex Earle videos saying, oh my God, Alex Earle, slay, period. Alex Earle comments on our friends' videos, I feel like. She hung out with Claudia this weekend. So that's why I don't want to force it. It's going to come natural. We're introduced naturally. Okay. Not me turning around in movie theater and being like, hi.

And now I feel like, oh my God, does she look at... When I was 20, what, 22, and if I heard someone was 30, I'd be like, good luck out there, you know? Like, would we be so old to her? I think she would just be like, look at these business women. These working women. She has a couple grays from reality TV. And she's wise. Look at these young moms. Yeah!

She goes, did you guys get a babysitter today? Oh my God. But the funny thing too is like I don't even watch Alex Earle's videos. It's more just the phenomenon that is her – Yes, Alex Earle. How the internet can make someone so relevant. Well, how would you feel if you were Sofia Colpo? Can you explain what's going on? There's so much. Okay, so basically Braxton, which – Which it says it all in the name. It says it all in the name. Yeah.

I feel like Braxton, I don't know this man. I'm never going to meet this man, but I know this man. I know this man. You know? Like, I know Braxton. You know Braxton. Braxton's coming in with his new sneakers. He's bopping around. Braxton grew up, and he was telling his mom to shut up. Yeah. You know that for a fact. Braxton, at age four, said, fuck you, mom. And the mom said, thank you. Yeah. Braxton probably has chlamydia, but we'll blame it on you. You gave it to him. Yeah.

Braxton has gotten a DUI, never been convicted, just called his dad. Braxton wanted to start a line of hats because he had different ideas than other hat companies. I don't know, Craig. Braxton. I love when we do it. Braxton goes to Surf Lodge with Hormone. Hormone is Braxton's drug dealer. He only does designer drugs.

I feel like Braxton also has never eaten sushi. True. Or he gets California rules. Yeah. Braxton, how do you call a man Braxton? Like, hey, Braxton. Imagine fucking him. Braxton. So good. I feel like it's like an instrument, like the name of an instrument no one wanted to play in like third grade. I'm not playing the Braxton. It's so embarrassing. Braxton sounds like a form of birth control that I forgot to take. Oh, I forgot to take my Braxton. Yeah.

If Braxton isn't for you, check with your physician. May cause bleeding for seven days. May cause chlamydia. Braxton will accidentally hit your butthole during sex and try to do anal. Okay, so Braxton is...

I have a reading level of fourth grade. No, okay. We don't know this man, but honestly, we're being so mean to him. We don't know him. But it is all true. But Sophia's listening right now, and she's like... Sophia's like, he literally can't read. We're about to pick sides. No, we're about to fully pick sides. Explain what's going on. Okay, so Braxton's dating Sophia. They break up in May. Immediately thereafter, there's rumors that he's spotted out in Miami with Alex Earl. Now...

I feel like as women, every woman has been on both sides. You've been the ex-girlfriend. You've also been the new girlfriend. With Sophia being a brunette... Wait, was Sophia engaged to him? No. Okay. With Sophia being a brunette and then seeing your boyfriend go date a blonde with double D boobs...

Homicide for me. It's homicide for me. Like I would be... This is our biggest nightmare. No, literally, if any boyfriend after me dates a blonde with double Ds, it's like you didn't like anything about me. You ruined the whole species of brunette for him. Yeah. Or it's like he just wants the opposite to not remind him of me. Braxton dates blondes. No, I feel like we need Braxton on the pod. Is it Sophia or Sophia? Sophia. Sophia. Yeah.

Braxton's date, the cheerleader, the blonde cheerleader. They don't date girls named Sofia Culpo. Braxton doesn't even eat Italian food. Wait, I'm talking about Craig. Continue.

I'd love to know Braxton's middle name. Like, it's imperative moving forward that I find out what Braxton's middle name is. I feel like it's something stupid. Like stream. Like seven. Yeah. Like waterfall. Okay, so they get seen out like this past weekend or whatever. Sophia posted TikTok that is now deleted. But...

The caption was, like, call me when the love bombing stops. And it was, like, when he found his next supply. Yes. And so many people were commenting on Sophia's thing, being like, you got to get over it. Like, get over it. I felt bad for her because she's clearly going through something. She's not going through a normal breakup, one, because it's public, and two, he started dating the most famous girl ever.

21 year old on TikTok. On TikTok, right. But then I feel like Alex is going through her own journey too. Like obviously she's probably got to deal with some of the Sophia stuff, but she's going through her own journey. She had posted a TikTok doing a get ready with me while she's like staying with Braxton. Yeah.

throwing a dig at her ex, Tyler Wade, saying, oh, I'm staying with this guy this weekend. She doesn't say Braxton's name. And I have to do a get ready with me. And it's so nice to do one where he, like, someone's not yelling at me while I do it. This is the thing. The girlies are dealing with their traumas. They're all just dealing and trying to cope with life. With our own individual traumas. My two cents, and we don't know Braxton. No, we don't. But let's say if he was a narcissist. Mm-hmm.

As someone who has dated multiple narcissists, I love a narcissist. It's my canon event. They're so charming. They're nice. They love bomb you. And I'm immediately like, finally, someone gets me. This guy's got a brain on him. Especially when you're in the public eye.

Once he starts losing control of you, he then will bash you in the public. Like he will say things about you. And once you can realize that you can't control what he does and what people think of you, that's the first step of healing. And the second step is knowing that eventually the next girl he's with will be commenting on your Instagrams and being like, LOL, I'm so happy that I got through that. Yep.

But Sophia needs to... Sophia's got to find a girlfriend before her. She's got to commiserate with whoever was before her. With the Sophia thing, like, maybe she wants some attention. Maybe.

Like to get some followers from it. Sofie's also young too. Is she? Yeah. Like she's young. She's going through a very public breakup. Like, okay, if I had a nickel for every time I've seen someone post some dumb quote after a breakup. Like, okay, she made a TikTok with like a cheeky caption. She could have done one calling him a narcissist and having his neck supply. She was not in a good mood that moment. No. She wasn't being her best self. She chose violence. She chose pure violence. Yeah. But for the people.

People commenting, telling her, like, don't be upset. It's like, she's going through some shit. No. So I'm not picking sides because I support women in the audience. No, I support both of them. I supported Alex more after she made the Tyler Wade comment because I was like, oh, she's got her own trauma that she's dealing with. And Sophia has her own trauma. Also, that's the thing. Like, it's Hot Girl Summer. Alex, for all we know, is just like, I found this other former...

who's probably going to fuck me over too. But in the moment, I'm having fun. Something happened with his ex. I don't know, but he's fun right now. And I think, let's be honest, you're 22. That's how I thought too. Everyone in the Hamptons after a couple drinks is fun too. Like if I had a nickel for every drunk Hamptons night where I was like, I think that was my husband. It wasn't. It was a literal toad on the side of the road. My thing is I have more pride than Sophia where I would never let him know I'm hurting.

Never. That's where I was like, okay, we have to be a little more Italian, babe. Yeah. Are you a culpo? I tell Craig all the time. I'm like, if we break up, you'll never know a single thing about me ever again. How amazing. Well, that's like as a Leo, as you guys know, like once I'm done, I'm fucking done. Yeah. That's why I've never hooked up with an ex before because I'm actually like...

So done. But I love the, like, I'm on to the next. She needs to be on to the next. I can't believe you've never hooked up. Go to Tyler Wade. Go to Tyler Wade. Go to Tyler Wade. Okay, I had a guy do that to me one time. We broke up and I was, like, hooking up with some random person. And this, my ex, was so distraught by it. He found the guy I was hooking up with's ex-girlfriend and tried to date her. When it's that obvious, I'm like, you're obsessed with me? I was, like, aw.

All I said to the general public, which was my group chat of friends, was if the roles were reversed, you would all call me fucking crazy. But because it's a guy doing it, you're like, he's going through something. He's like, what? It's not weird. I was like, it's fucking weird. Look, when you're dating the famous guys, when you're dating the athletes, a lot of them are into themselves and they will say whatever they want and fuck.

Narcissist is a strong word to use, but she clearly was very hurt by this man, and he's not right for her, and I hope that her healing has begun. Yes. Let's normalize, because narcissist is a very strong word. Let's normalize that not everyone's a narcissist, but most people are assholes. I love that. That's our mental health moment. On my wedding day, I don't want to say, in Braxton, the moment I saw you,

Unless you're a German shepherd, I'm not confessing my love to you, Braxton. But this is the fucked up thing. Imagine the guy that you are getting over having to see him all over the internet. It's really, really, really painful. Yeah, I could not. So I really hope that like her mental health is okay. Yeah. And like find a new man. You're Sofia Coppola. You're gorgeous. No, literally. There's so... Go Charlie Puth. DM Sofia Coppola. Seriously. Do you think Olivia could help her? Like...

Get someone else. I mean, there's, you know how many football players there are? Not named for accident. Yeah. I mean, honestly, this is just good fervor. What does fervor mean? I don't know, but you know the one football player that I do love? Decker, Eric Decker. No. Oh, he's mine. He's like a quarterback. Yeah.

On a team. Oh, yeah, you like the Italian one. Jimmy Garoppolo. Okay, I love him. I'm obsessed with him. Not him. I love him, but not him. The other one that's, like, young and he wears, like, cool outfits. Joe Budden? Joe... No. No. What?

Wait, who is that? Joe Burrow. Joe Burrow. Joe Budden's a rapper. Joe Budden sings that Mean Girls song. Joseph Lee Burrow. So he definitely fought in the Civil War. For sure. His family came over on the fucking Mayflower. He has a girlfriend. And he's 26. He's so young now. And he's from Iowa. Yeah, I wouldn't, I couldn't date him anyway, but I have a boyfriend. That surprisingly is not the reason I can't date him.

I can't date him because he's from Iowa. I don't think they have air conditioning there. And here's a girl. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks.

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Welcome, friends, to the Playful Scratch from the California Lottery. We've got a special guest today, the Scratcher's Scratch Master himself, Juan. Juan, you've mastered 713 playful ways to scratch. Impressive. How'd you do it? Well, I began with a coin, then tried a guitar pick. I even used a cactus once. I can scratch with anything, even this mic right here.

See? See? Well, there you have it. Scratchers are fun no matter how you scratch. Scratchers from the California Lottery. A little play can make your day. Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim. Can I say something controversial? I'd love it if you did. Since we're talking about sports. A lot of gigglers are sending me the new Zendaya movie. Mm-hmm. I am so upset about the new Zendaya movie. Why? It's the one where you see her having a threesome with the doubles guys. Yes.

The disrespect this movie has done towards the sport of tennis, it starts off being like, she's the greatest player of all time. And it shows her holding it. The first thing you learn in tennis is when you serve, you have a continental grip. It's the most basic thing. Yeah, we all knew it. Even basically.

Paige has a fucking continental grip. I mean, who doesn't? Who doesn't? She's holding it like a banana. Like, holding it, like, imagine a baseball player and you're holding it on the wrong, like, the opposite end. Like, that's how it looks to a tennis player. She's holding it like she's never played tennis before and looks like she's about to serve and they're like, she's the greatest tennis player who ever lived. And then they're showing her playing. Is it about someone? Like, is she pretending to be someone? To be the greatest tennis player that ever, like, one of the greatest tennis players ever. And...

- I love a woman in sports video. But like, for example, the King Richard video, they got really top players to play the girls and make sure the strokes were exactly like the Williams sisters and they did the CGI and it all worked out. Zendaya's out here looking like she's playing pickleball and they're like, she's the greatest who's ever played a sport. - Holding a literal flaccid penis. - She's changing the world of tennis. And I'm very mixed emotions 'cause I love Zendaya. - You love women in the arts.

Don't give her two months of tennis lessons and then think that she can represent what quality tennis looks like. No, how did...

Are you kidding? How dare they? Hey, I'm trying to find a comparison. There is none. It's so high level. There's no comparison to what they're doing. No, but think of a comparison of a movie about fashion and all the clothes are garbage bags. And they're like, this is the greatest outfits we've ever seen. It's like watching Barbie and her foot bends. You're like, in no situation. They did this with the Kirsten Dunst Wimbledon movie. She literally looked like she...

You remember that back in the day? And it looks like you can't watch it. And I don't know if it's... Who is the movie about? I think it's a made-up thing. And they're just like... They're giving the whole like, she's the top tennis player. She has all these brand deals. She's like going to run the world, whatever. And then watching her play tennis was so disrespectful. Oh, no. Maybe Charlie can write a song about it. Where do we go from here, Anna?

It's just like, what the fuck? And then people are like, are you so excited? I'm like, to watch my sport be disrespected on a global scale?

You know what it is? Emotions are running high. You know what it is? It's like, you remember when Kendall Jenner did the ballet commercial like 10 years ago and everyone like reamed her out? Vaguely. But like she wasn't even saying she was good at ballet. She just had a ballet outfit on and was making little movements and everyone was like, this is disrespectful. I don't remember the ballet. It's like a long time ago. That was like a niche reference. Okay, sorry. I love how you know I'm heated. You're just like staying out of it. Look! Look!

It's like a ballet movie. And the people are literally just flopping around. And they're like, she's the greatest who's ever done it. Like shrimp carpaccio, just laying on the ground. You love a callback. I love a callback. I'm not happy. To answer the question no one asked. I have one more.

I'm not happy. Then she breaks her leg on the court. Are you kidding? No one breaks their leg on the tennis court. You sprained an ankle. You tear your ACL. You tear your ACL. Break leg. The inauthenticity is wild. No, and it's her like about to hit a forehand and you just hear, first of all, disgusting. Second of all, no one in the history of tennis has broken their leg like that. It's almost like it's a parody of your sport. And it's... I was like, is this an SNL sketch of my life?

Have you watched Black Mirror? No, someone said it wasn't good. But I guess it's more some are good, some are not. You just have to pick the good ones. I don't really have anything to compare it to because I'd never watched it before. Oh, I've watched random episodes. I feel like some episodes are life-changing and some you're like, I want my money back. Yeah, some of them are weird. Now I'm having trouble remembering. They all kind of blur into the same one. They all kind of blur into the same one. What I did is I googled top Black Mirror episodes and then I'd watch...

The scariest ones are like ones that you're like, that's happening right now. Yes. Like social media type one. Yeah. Like everyone has like if you needed to find anything out, if you wanted to steal anyone's identity, it's like they're pretty easy. Here's your stuff. There was one about like it tells you when you're going to meet your soulmate. So you can go on dates and stuff, but like you have a timer. So, you know, the person's not your soulmate. That I wish was real. But like imagine you're just you're like, OK, so what do I do? I feel like I have that built in at home. My parents are like, not time yet. Nope, not him.

We'll get back to you, but probably not. We're going to outsource that. We're going to circle back around on that one. Out of office till further notice, but we'll get back to you. Do you know what I watched last night? The Idol.

Okay, I started the first episode. People are up in arms. Oh yeah, everyone has a very strong opinion about it. Why are people so PO'd? Well, there's drama behind it. Apparently it was made by a female director. Then The Weeknd does not support women in the arts, fired her, and reshot it from his perspective. Is it his show? I think it is. Okay. But it was interesting. Everyone's like, put out the other version. I want to know what it looked like from a female director. So basically it was about...

It's about, you know. The industry. The industry and like taking advantage of like women's sexuality. But then they're like, but then you make a show that's doing exactly that. But is that just meta? I thought the filming is very cool. I thought the filming was cool. I thought the outfits were great. Lily Rose Depp.

I'm mad at her. Why? Because where has she been? Well, she's literally four. Is she young? She's been growing up. Is she young? She's young. I think she's only like early 20s. She's an example of a Nepo baby who I'm like... Great branding. No one ever calls her a Nepo baby. Well, they did call her a Nepo baby because I think she walked in the Chanel show at 5'2". Yep. But this is one of those things where I'm like, I want to hire Johnny Depp's daughter to play the star role of a film. She's...

So unique looking and gorgeous. And I almost feel like her, Emma Chamberlain. She's 24. Give me another like Gen Z-er. Me. Her, Emma Chamberlain. Okay, you're a great example. Lily Rose Depp. What do all three of these people have in common? Lily Rose Depp. Gorgeous. Hannah Burner and Emma Chamberlain. They say slay.

I think unique, normal girl, like everyone's unique, normal girl, pretty, no plastic surgery. Not too pretty. Oh. Like Lily Rose Depp, I don't. I think she's had work done. Shoot. But she looks unique. Yeah, she's unique looking. No, actually, with the lighting, the outfits, I literally was like, she's the coolest girl I've ever seen.

I think she's the hottest girl ever. Like, when she was wearing her outfits, I was like, how are you that tiny but have, like, that great of tits? I literally was screenshotting the, and I was like, this is what I want my boobs to look like. Also, she had, when she was doing the dance scene in the beginning. I was like, she's great. That dance scene, I respect. Yeah. Because it was good. Right. Because they actually got into it. It's like doing a whole boxing movie just slapping the whole time. Yeah.

What the fuck is going on Zendaya? No, I get that. It's not your fault. Do you know who's making the movie?

I was like too upset. Yeah, you couldn't either. Do you know when it comes out? I'm not going to see it. Because no one's going to watch that and be like, wow, women are really athletic. They're going to be like, wow, you can barely hit a ball and you've become the greatest tennis player in the fucking world. And broke your leg. Also, the idol was like sexual. It's very sexual. Well, isn't he a cult leader? I haven't gotten past that. I haven't gotten into it, but he's...

There was some unrealistic stuff in the first episode. Like? Like, he's a club owner, gets on a mic and was like, that's Jocelyn, the most famous girl in the world. I'm going to go dance with you. Goes right up to her, and then basically they're, like, making out and fall in love. In no situation. Everyone knows club etiquette, and that would never happen. She wouldn't have gotten past security. What about the part where he, like, she goes to her house and he puts that thing over her face and then, like, cuts so she can breathe? Yeah.

The only thing that would make it realistic is if he was the actual weekend. Like then I'd be like, okay, she'd let him do that. I wouldn't let a random club promoter choke me to death for funsies. I wouldn't do anything with a club owner. And he has a rat tail. And they joke like you have a rat tail and I'm like... It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's almost like when I saw that guy on the plane. I never told them that was during a live show. We have to tell them.

Okay, let me just set the scene for you. If you're with your friend and you see a hot guy in the vicinity of anywhere, you're going to look at your friend and be like, check out that hot guy. You clock him. Yeah, of course. So Hannah and I are on a plane. We're sitting next to each other. I see this guy get onto the plane. And like my first instinct to like look at him was like, oh, he's kind of good looking. So I look at Hannah to them. And then I look back at the guy like signaling to her, look at this guy.

As this guy is coming to the seat to sit directly in front of us, I only see him head on. Hannah sees side profile. What do I say to you? He had a man bun. Without any words being spoken, we both spot the man bun. Not even the man bun. It was like a man pony, but like... He looked like a chihuahua dog. Like short hair pony. And Hannah looks at me and she says...

babe you're going through something do you want to talk about it I said you're in a really weird place you must be in a really weird place you didn't see it so you look again you look at me you start dying his thing is poking out from the back and that is like magician like you see the front and you're like he's hot you see the back and you're like I've been bamboozled it was such a bait and switch I was like we were rooting for you we were all rooting for you no I literally

I literally was like, how dark is it right now for you that you were like, what would it be like to fuck a guy with a rat tail on his head? I could never. But you know, like, airport sexual tension. Everyone in the airport could be my boyfriend. The funniest thing, though, about The Idol, which I'm going to continue watching, even though people keep posting, like, why am I watching? People are hate watching, but I'm enjoying it. The actors are good. I don't think it's bad.

that I feel like I've watched way worse shit we've all watched way worse like today I've watched way worse stuff I do recommend if you're into like religious cult documentaries and also The Weeknd this show's for you the shiny happy people on Amazon I realized that

I don't know. I accidentally was watching the last episode over and over again. And I was like, this show does not make sense. Wait. You skipped. How many episodes did you skip? Episode four. And I kept watching it. And I was like, there's no back story of any of these characters. You're like, this was shot horribly. I literally was like, it's so bad. It must be the same people that made the Zendaya movie. You're like, these people are idiots. Picture you click episode four.

Oh, you just skipped right to episode four. Yeah, so I was like, I don't... You have no contact. Yes, I was like, how did they start it at the climax? I was like, there's no lead up. You were like, I should start a production company. I know way more. Yes, and then I highly recommend We Pass On. It's called... Look, the Gigglers have too many documentaries to get through. My job is to vet. You go off your nose. I just wasn't expecting you to say, like, We Pass On.

We're passing on Zendaya. We're passing on, it's called Take Care of Maya, probably by the people who made the Zendaya movie and Shiny Happy People episode four. The weekend. We're passing on Maya. Because it's the saddest story of a mom and her daughter. And people are like, it's so good. Not if you want to ruin your week. No.

If you want to jumpstart your depression, and sometimes we all need that, this is great. And I hate to say, like, I could watch something where a woman gets cut into 82 pieces, and I'm like, interesting, fascinating. Let's get to the bottom of this. This thing about a mom and her daughter, absolutely not. It was too much for you. It was too much. That's where I draw the line. Okay. So don't watch that unless you love sad shit. Well, thank you so much for— Yeah, thank you. We really giggled this episode. Yeah, I did.

And I'll see you guys in, where am I next? Oh, I have New York City on Thursday. Oh, fuck yeah. Go Badgers. Go Badgers. Love you guys. Bye.