Giggling about breakups, buccal fat, and caviar
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I mean, the day just got away from me. Oh my god. We're...

It's 2023. I realized my life was literally meaningless without Giggly Squad. These last two weeks, I was alone and scared. I felt like I didn't have, like the people in my life weren't cutting it in terms of like things I had to say. Craig is right next to her right now. He's like, boom. No, I just felt like they weren't. Nobody understands our humor and jokes like the Gigglers. So a lot of things were wasted. Yeah.

That makes me so sad, but that's why I took a trillion notes of things to catch up on. I mean, it's a dopamine hit, this podcast. We are fully addicted. I do have to say we posted our best of episode. Yeah. And it was definitely giving like, that's what I call music. Yeah.

Best of, you know? Now, 47. Yes. Yeah, I got it. So if you ever need a dopamine hit, listen to that episode because it was like our favorite moments and it made me cry. It was like, as we go on. I like forgot you had a bachelorette party and like a wedding.

Totally. But you know what? That wasn't the highlight of our year because we're a decentering run from our lives. So true. Well, I was talking specifically about The Bachelorette. Yeah. But that was good. Okay. What are some things that like during the course of the weeks that you were like, I need to talk about this on the pod? I did have a fun interaction with Andy Cohen. What was it? So my friend, Matt Friend, does impersonations.

Yes, I saw this. So I put him on my Insta story and he actually is on the last episode of Burning Hell. We did a full. I kind of therapeutically pretended he was Andy Cohen. Got it. I was like, Andy, the last time you saw me, I was crying. And I just want to say thank you for the opportunity. And then he was like, who are you?

we went on Insta story and I was like, Andy Cohen, like new years, maybe next time I could replace Anderson Cooper. I feel like we have good chemistry. And then I was like, do you remember me on chat room? You were my boss. And he was like, what was chat room? And we're just dying laughing. And then Andy Cohen DMs me. What'd he say? And he said, I remember with a heart. How,

sweet it's like that dad who like never really noticed you or cared or thought you were talented being a middle child exactly but then i had a moment i said what do i say what do you say back you're always in these situations because i when i was listening to the best of episode like i forgot that you called hayley bieber my love and i burst out laughing do you know what the first thing was that came to my mind to call andy cohen

my king no you you must be stopped my king we're taking away your cell phone i stopped i stopped i deleted it and i just said something like thank you hard heart but i want to know i wanted you to know that i didn't call him my king i feel like there's so much bravo drama happening first of all jen shaw 6.5 years did is this what we thought or is it more or less than you thought

I thought that she was going to definitely get more money.

But here's the thing. Anytime someone is sentenced to jail, like, I get anxious. Like, yes, she should go to jail. She scammed everyone's grandma. Like, she should be put in jail. Scamming grandmas is next level because grandmas are really cute. No, scamming grandmas is next level. So I just got like, oh my God, I can't believe she's going to jail for six and a half years. But Todd Chrisley is going for 12. That's crazy. That's crazy. And he...

I mean, he took the government's money. She took old people's money. Right. Honestly, take the government's money all day. Take the government's money all day because they take hours. I just think it's crazy to be doing something illegal and then your first thought is, I think I'll go on a national television show. Like, you got to be deranged. But that's like when you're in too deep and you're living a fake life that you're like, I might as well enjoy this fake life. Like, do you remember the party she would throw? Yeah.

She got sentenced in New York City and then she threw a 20 person dinner at an Italian restaurant here. I mean, like that's insane. That's called staying on brand. That's called knowing your brand, staying on it.

The thing is, I hate to say it, but I want to see a reality show of Jen. Everyone was like, she'll get out early because of good behavior. And people were like, have you seen her behavior on Salt Lake City? I think the next spinoff has to be all the housewives that have mug shots. Like, it should be ultimate girls trip. In jail. It's crazy how many have been arrested. Luann complaining about the food in jail. It would be Luann, Teresa, Jen Shaw. Uh-huh.

um tinsley's been arrested shut up it should be everyone that has a mug shot yeah throw on lindsey lohan just for fun just for fun page we have to discuss rena okay i have hot takes i would love to hear them do you want to go first i do kind of want to go first because i just want to see if my hot take is your hot take everybody dislikes her the show's gonna crumble

You need one person on the show that's so nuts and is going to say what everybody else wants to say, but they're like, I can't say that. That's nuts. Well, someone argued, like, weren't people not liking Bethany before she left? Kind of. Yes. Yes. And then, like, New York started to fall off, and then people weren't liking Dorinda. They kick off Dorinda. Yep. Where is the franchise now? Right. Right.

This is what I have to say. Didn't people love Rinna, though? Yeah, people loved Rinna. So, like, yes, she had her bad season. We've all had it. She had multiple bad seasons, I think. But the thing is, there's no loyalty. Like, this bitch has been around for 12 years. I don't know. She's also just great reality TV. She has two famous daughters, two famous Nepo babies. I have so much to say about Nepo babies.

Are you a nepo baby? No, but I'm going to have one. Like, everybody hates... Is, like, hating on nepo babies right now. But everyone wants to have a nepo baby. Wow. Wow. I mean, I have one, Butter. Right, that's so true. Butter is such a nepo baby. But it's true. It's not the nepo baby's fault that they're nepo babies. It's not their fault. But they have to be aware of their privilege as nepo babies. Right. So, I think...

The Nepo babies we know, like they were born with a leg up in the world. Yeah. Okay. What did that sound like a sex position? They had both their legs in the air. Probably did. You know, so we're going to see a lot of only fan Nepo babies in our lifetime, but like I, I'm not as mad at them as everybody else. There are struggles to being a Nepo baby. Um,

But I'm not mad at it. Do you know who I follow on TikTok who I fucking love? Who? Ireland Baldwin. Yeah, okay. Neppo baby. Shaved her head. Iconic. She had the balls. Some people didn't. Don't give me.

But she's like really upfront about like the pain she deals with of people. Whenever her dad does something, she has to deal with the wrath of it and like the pressures of it all. But then like you have a five, five girl, Lily Rose Depp walking a Chanel show. Right. So give or take Haley Bieber walks out with an Epil baby shirt. What do we think? I loved it. I'm.

Made me like her. My bestie a little more. Not only is it funny, it's very self-aware. Like, yeah, she's where she is because she has famous parents. Yeah, let's not pretend. The number one thing I hate in this world is when people are born a nepo baby or born with, like, privilege to billionaires and they do nothing with it. See, I think that's iconic. No, like, you're born with a leg up. You could be so much further than everyone else. But when they're, like, become...

drug addicts or just like partiers and they don't do anything like that's what annoys me like you could have already been running a company but this is the thing sometimes they become drug addicts because of the pain of being a nepo baby

Oh, cry me a river. I mean, come on. Tom Hanks was never around growing up. He was always filming. So now he has to have a Jamaican accent. What an insane human. I know. Like, how crazy. But this is the thing. I think it's iconic to be born into a world that you don't think you belong in. You don't want to be a movie star. Yeah. You don't want the fame. You don't want the money. And you become an accountant. I think that...

No, I think that's great. And you already own the accounting firm. True. True. It's funny because New York Mag did that thing and it went after everyone. It was like this person's brother's ex's sister was a producer on this children's film. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they went deep. They went fucking... They were like, okay. He was a security guard. I don't think she got the job because of that. They did reach a little. But I would also argue that Nepo Baby's like, for example, with sports...

It's fucking genetics. Yes. Like I would argue humor is too. I would definitely argue. If hours don't walk out like saying jokes, send them back in there to cook because they're not ready. Like I think it's a fun conversation and I think it's fun to just be aware. I also just like saying Nepo baby. It sounds like a new kind of Tamagotchi. Got my Nepo baby died again. Did you feed your Nepo baby?

I didn't charge my nepo baby. Oh my God. Thank you, Craig. Craig said what I said was funny and I was leaving. You never say that to me. Craig's actually gotten funnier. Yeah, that'll happen. Right? Yeah, it happens. And...

I feel like sometimes, like, he'll say something, like, and we'll be in a crowd of people, and he'll kind of look at me to see if I've laughed. Yeah. And, like, most recently, I feel like he'll look at me, and I'll get so pumped, like, yes, that was funny. Mm-hmm. Or, like... You're training a clown. And if I don't laugh, he'll be like, though, I'm like, that wasn't funny. I feel like this is abuse.

That's bordering it, for sure. If it's not funny, you go, get down and give me 20. Take a lap. I'm making him better. And doesn't everyone want to date someone that makes them better? He said you're not allowed to coach our kids. That was funny. Wait, are you letting him wear a backwards hat to the gym? Yeah. Okay. Just go. On Dumois, I saw Craig at the gym without gel in his hair. It was crazy.

gross i wrote that in imagine i just like hey can you post some shit about craig i mean i actually can't follow him what gives me too much anxiety i like it like i like following it just because it's like the rant people it's funny until you're in it yeah well for sure and guess who has to deal with your shit guess who gets all the questions because they know i answer my dms

So I'm fucking, I like seeing stuff about myself. That's untrue. I feel like I'm duping everyone. Like I love conning. Yeah. I loved being a con man. I love that people thought Craig and I broke up and then I would just like post a tick tock at his house, redoing his bathroom. That was really iconic. Iconic. When they post something that's so untrue. Like I was on a ski vacation with Des when they said that we broke up and then part of me was like, wait, did he break up with me?

Is he going to leave me on this slope alone? Fucking freezing. Am I going to have to pay for this? It's fucking expensive. But you get defensive because then people are like, did you guys broke up? Break up. And if you say no, you're like, does that sound like I'm being defensive? And then I started like being like, how do I not sound defensive that we're still together? People were even messaging me. They're like, whatever. It didn't happen this time, but it will soon. And I'm just like, wait, what?

But this is the thing. How the internet will like love your relationship. They almost like decide when they're done with you. Yeah, for sure. Like they're like, you guys need to break up. And then something will happen that probably isn't even true. And then they'll support you again. Yeah. Or people will just be like, he cheats on her all the time. Like someone texted me the other, not texted, messaged me the other day. And it was like, I just want to let you know, like I'm watching your boyfriend. This was like real time. I'm watching your boyfriend cheat on you. And I literally looked to my right of like Craig, like snoring. And I was like sick.

But I wanted to know who it was so bad that they thought that like it was. It was a fake account? No, it was a real account. But they were talking about Austin because they were like, I'm watching him in Vail, Colorado right now talking to a blonde. And I was like, tell him good job. Also, guys, talking to blondes isn't cheating. It's just not good taste. But no, I'm just kidding. My favorite.

best friend from high school does get offended because not only do we use her name Stephanie when we talk about like some dumb bitch. I don't know why we always say Stephanie. And she is like a natural born baby blonde. Stephanie, if you're listening, you adorable little baby blonde Stephanie. And she's like, I think he hates me. No, it negates itself. Two negatives equal positive. Stephanie. Actually, I love Stephanie because she's one of my favorite friends of yours because she's not involved in any of the bullshit.

she's also my my friend that like i avoid when i need to be told what the fuck is up because she is the only person that's like um hello you're stupid yeah well i'm like i'm not gonna call her for a couple weeks i feel like i'll be like this is good for the plot yeah you're like you say it sneakily you're like so what's

It's going to happen. But I also, she's like childhood friend. I'm the kind of friend where I know with you, if I like straight up tell you something, you're not going to listen. I have to like plant seeds over time and make it think that it's your idea. Yeah. You have to, yeah. You have to plot. Or you run away. You're like a cat. Yeah. I know. I'm literally like,

the other night I was sitting on the couch with Craig and I like, for some reason wasn't talking to him all day because I just like, he didn't do anything. Like he genuinely didn't do anything. I just didn't have it in me. I was just, no, he's sitting right here. I'm sitting right here. I like sit up for a second. And then I just like started like nuzzling my head in his shoulder. And in that moment I was like, I'm a fucking cat. Like I,

And then I had had enough and I went back to my spot. And then you started puking a leaf. And then I was like, sorry, hairball. What do you think about this caviar like obsession people are having on TikTok? Have you seen it? Caviar is disgusting. People are eating it like ice cream at the end of the night. Yeah. Why are they? My question is, what are those mini little fucking pancakes that they're eating them with?

That's what I want. Oh, like the little wooden spoon. It's a pearl spoon that they use. And then they put it on a mini pancake with creme fraiche. Oh, yes. Like a little tortilla. Yeah, where do you get those? You're like, just give me. It's like what you get at church when they put on your tongue. That's what I thought. The host. Like, is this pancake blaster?

I just don't under... I've never, after a long night, been like, I'm craving something fishy and raw. No, I think caviar is disgusting. But it's true. It's like, do you like caviar or do you just like creme fraiche with the tortilla? Or do you like pretending you're rich? Like, I don't... Even caviar on, like, deviled eggs.

gross the other day i stopped to get a dollar slice and a snapple as one does a normal person and this comedian stopped me and he's like whoa i thought you were like doing well josh adam Myers and i was like i'm sorry it is a privilege to eat dollar pizza with a diet peach snapple the 99 cent pizza it's not even 99 cents now it's like a dollar 25 inflation

Is some of the best pizza in New York City. The day. Also, being rich is not about now you eat different things. Being rich is about eating what you want when you want. You're like, excuse me, sir. I have multiple fake bags in my closet. How many do you have? Also, I'm going to shit in my fancy toilet in my Lower East Side apartment. That was just interior designed by a human I hired. And I painted it blue because I can.

How dare he? No, literally. I think he expected me to start walking around comedy clubs eating caviar now because I sold out one show.

I was scrolling TikTok the other day or maybe it was Instagram, whatever. And it was this guy had his profile picture on his dating app was with, I forget who it even was, but like some famous person. And she was like, I'm swiping right because like if he knows her, like I want to hang out with them. Then I was thinking, I wonder if I'm in anyone's, any of my guy friends dating app pictures. For sure.

And I would love to know what picture they picked. Those sneaky little sneaks.

I know I'm in one. Whose? Well, Alex Cooper and I, the first time we called our daddy, the producer was like, hey, can I get a selfie with you guys? And all the time, these girls screenshot his hinge. Stop. Because his hinge is him with us behind him. I need to know if anyone comes across a man in New York City and I'm in their picture. I want to know. Yeah. So girlies, keep an eye out for us. Keep an eye out. Because this is my thing. Yeah. A guy's value increases when he has...

a cool, funny, gorgeous woman in his, that's like hanging with him. So yeah, people could be using you on dating apps. I love that.

I just love that whole concept. I don't know why. Oh my god, dating apps. I haven't been on them in a minute. I know. Sometimes I get sad about dating apps because like it is fun to just swipe and see what men look like and like make fun of them in your head. Or like create a whole entire life with them within four seconds in your head and be like, hmm.

We should make a dating app where we like know like a dating app profile and it's just like a catfish that we can like go on and just like I feel like you're so toxic. Wouldn't it be crazy if we just made a dating app? Wouldn't it be crazy if I just downloaded Bumble right now? Like as a joke?

Okay, one thing about Bumble, which we love Bumble. I feel like it's for the type A girlies. The ones who are like, I'm going to take control of my life and I'm going to find a husband right now. It's for the girls that made mood boards January 2nd. They made fucking mood boards and they are on Bumble. The hinge girlies, they don't care. They just want free drinks. Can we talk about these mood boards?

Everyone had a vision board. Everyone had a vision board. I do believe in manifestation, but I also, not to get deep, but everyone, the second it was the new year was like, what do I want this next year? What do I want? What do I want? This new year seemed more intense than other new years, right? I was like, wait, I haven't written down everything. I think because last year we were still thinking about COVID. We were like, thank God we're still alive. Let's be grateful. And then this year everyone was like, I need to get Forbes 30 over 30 next year. I'm going to kill myself. So...

So part of me was like instead of us getting the new year and being like what are all the things I need? Like can we just stop for a second and reflect on like this last year and all this where you were a year ago. Like me and you are so different I feel like. Yeah. Than we were a year ago. So different. Like we're tired. No we're still tired. For sure. Like we're more tired. I got drunk at a baby shower on Saturday. And I feel like I wouldn't have done that last year. Like.

I feel like last year I wouldn't have even gone to a baby shower. I would have been like, boo. Was this your friend or Craig's friend? No, it was one of my girlfriends. I don't know how I got- Was it on purpose? That I got drunk or that she had a baby? Both. Yes, both planned.

Both scheduled out. No, she's the cutest pregnant person. You can't tell she's pregnant unless she literally turns to the side. Wow. Like nothing is swollen. It literally looks like she put a basketball in her shirt. Sorry, I just remembered how big Kim's tongue was when she was pregnant. I want that to happen to me just because I want to see what it feels like.

Like, I want to not be able to talk because everything on my face got swollen. Speaking of swollen faces, have you seen the... I don't know what you're going to say, but that would have been hilarious, like, to say, like, some girl we hated that, like, didn't have a swollen face. Have you seen Stephanie? No, but speaking of swollen faces, have you seen the whole, like...

I've known about the buccal, buccal, buccal fat removal thing for a while. Bella Hadid. Yeah. But I guess Lea Michele got it. And now she can read. But people are saying if you get... It's like the fat down here. Yeah, okay. People get it removed. But then some people are like, oh, it makes you look older because it makes you look gaunt. But then people argue that gaunt... Sorry, was that editorial? I...

I have no idea what you're saying. Gant is like, Patrick, what's good? Like, like, like, like, like really skinny and frail. Frail. Okay. But then like they're saying heroin chic is in, which is obviously toxic. We don't support. No. And so people are just trying to look. People saying it ages you. I could see that. But then. Because I would assume that it takes time.

The elasticity in your skin is like being held up by the fat in your skin. So if you take that fat away, yeah, I could see your skin just being like sunken in and then loose. I'm going to say it right now. If you want to slim your face, get TMJ Botox.

Yes. Which is essentially a similar... I think I'm going to get it. I kind of want to get it. Because I wake up, I have like the most powerful clenching jaws in the world. Not to brag. Humble brag. And no gag reflex. You do the math. She's married. I'm not. You get it. Ram it into my ovary. I can't feel a thing. Okay.

But like I clench so much and I wake up like with a headache. Yeah. And actually, I don't think I have a wide jaw at all. See, I think I kind of have a little bit of a square jaw. But what's wrong with having a square jaw? I don't know. Because if you want to like not have any jaw, then you just become like jawless. How do you eat a sandwich?

Well, where do you get it? If you clench, you feel that muscle. Okay, I want you to do it and I want to see how much it changes your face. The thing is, I don't think it's going to change it that much. But if you do want to change your face, I would do that over buccal fat.

Yeah. Because at least with Botox, you're like, okay, if I hate this in six months, it's gone. I actually want to make an announcement on the pod. I don't want to cry, but I need to take back a lot of stuff I'm saying about plastic surgery. Oh my God. Because bitch is 31 and it's time to go under the knife. Okay? No, but I do have to say, I have to apologize. If you're looking in the mirror and you don't like what you see, then don't be like you have to get Botox for your TMJ. Okay.

I just think it's fucked up of me as someone who's never had someone like tease for her nose. Okay. To tell other girlies who have been teased for their nose. Right. To look internally first. Like, I don't know what you've gone through. Right. Have I been made fun of my ears before? Yes. Have you? What's wrong with your ears? I used to be called elf ears. It's like a whole thing. I grew into them though. Bless. But like...

I am trying to like look. I'll show you a pic when I was little. It was pretty aggressive. It was like ruin the mood, you know? Everyone was like, okay, the elephant is in the room. Hannah can hear us. But I do think that everyone's going through different experiences. And if there's something that like has really fucked up your confidence that you can't get off your mind, it's like change it. But with these things that are trends, like buckle fat, um,

Getting your lips massive. Like I have seen girls that I'm friends with that literally have zero upper lip at all. Or when they smile, you can see all of their gums who have gotten their lips done that you would never even know. But yes, changes the way they look.

in like a good way yeah but it's still like subtle yeah so i want the girlies to be subtle yep i want us to be editorial okay and i don't want to go through trends what if next year the trend is chubby cheeks what you gonna do call up your doctor and be like hey can you take the fat out my ass and put it in my cheek sorry i just made me laugh so hard um as you guys know i'm an aunt i'm an auntie

And Lois is like really cute. Like really, really cute. But I notice everyone keeps congratulating me for being an aunt. Yeah. And you're like, I've done nothing. Except exist. Like I've literally done nothing. Like my brother had sex with someone. So gross. But it's just so weird. People congratulate me when I'll be on FaceTime and she's so cute. And then she'll be like, and I'm like, oh my God, I'm in an Uber. And I hang up. Crying babies are so annoying. I'd hang up on that bitch too. Like...

It makes me want to cry. I have to pay taxes. Okay. Like, let's stop. You someone wipe your own asshole. It should be me crying, Lois. I don't know what you're upset about. Seriously. The thing that I think with people like congratulating you, are they really congratulating you? No. But what else are they going to say?

wow they were just being nice like yeah like if you're like oh my god my brother just had a baby i'm an aunt what why did i just say aunt i'm an aunt like what would i say like oh thumbs up queen shit wait see i'm gonna yeah your legacy is gonna go on like what did you say other than like congrats it happens to the best of us

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.

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Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com, now available in sizes XXS to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop-down menu. Have you been seeing the Harry, Meghan Markle, just crazy headlines and then William and Kate? They're like responding. Yeah.

They're just having, I mean, obviously we know. A media war. A media war. Insane. One of the headlines was that Harry thinks that William's hair loss is alarming. I was just like, wow, let's all take a step back and break this down. There are two siblings fighting.

If I'm fighting with my brother in the media, I'm going for the fucking jugular. That was incredible. And saying that his hair loss is alarming is so mean. I know what I'd say about you. Hannah, that came to your head too quick. What would you say? Hannah Burner thinks Paige Sorbo's orbital bone is alarming. It's alarming. The whole article was about

How he basically aged so fast and doesn't look like Diane, like doesn't have any similarities to Diane anymore. It's just petty. And I was like, okay, that's nutty. Then they released text messages between Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle about Meghan's dresses for like the people in her wedding. Who's they? The media. I don't know. Basically Harry and...

harry's got it on lock with page six yeah williams got daily mail on lock so it's like they're just fighting with random headlines one of my skills in life is avoiding all of them like i'm not interested in it at all and my thing is they left like you said they left england to get away from the like limelight and then

I can't stop with the, like, Harry wrote a book. He got paid $400 million. Talk about a nepo baby. Oh, that was such a good callback. King of the nepo babies. King of the nepo babies. I was thinking of nepo babies. I was thinking about, like, how Nick Cannon's daughter's name is Queen. Is that allowed? He's got 12 nepo babies. I'm just saying, like, can you... I thought you had to do stuff to become a queen.

I mean, she's going to be put through a lot. She's got 12 siblings to fight with on Christmas. She deserves it. But yeah, they've just been like everywhere. And part of me is like, if the tea's that hot, I don't want you to tell it to me. I want us to figure it out.

Right. It's just like I... I don't want it served to me like that. Like, I feel like they're purposely trying to get us to think something. So I don't want it. Yeah, like it's too much. They're doing too much. Yeah. To be like, they're the worst. They're the worst, right? Aren't they the worst? Yeah. Okay, I guess. Yeah. Also, I feel like in America...

It's so different what we think of the royal family in terms of what people in England think of the royal family. Yeah. Like, Harry's giving us all this, and we're like, wow, how crazy. But then we don't really care. Yeah. Because it's not in our country. He's not our monarchy. Yeah. We're like, okay, cool. They lost the war to us. We don't give a shit. Fucking losers. Losers. Like, we...

Why don't you work on your strategy next time? But I feel like in England, people are losing their goddamn mind. Are they? I think so. We have to visit to see. We have gigglers in London. London town. What are we going to show up on the streets and be like, what's going on? Yeah, hand on the street. Have you watched it? Which team are you on? Yeah, I love that. Speaking of gigglers, I have to do a quick announcement of some famous new gigglers. I didn't know were gigglers. Yes.

We found out recently that... I don't know if she's a giggler, but she wants to come on Giggly Squad. Lisa Barlow. She's a giggler. She's a fan of you. She literally said she's like, I'm going to bully both of them. No, she literally said like, yeah, I'm coming on. I don't care what they think. That's amazing. She literally bullied us into coming on. So we're definitely... We love that. We'll have her. In 2023, we will have her on for sure. Also, I don't think these people, not all of them want to come on, but they listen. Juliet Porter...

okay so juliet porter i love siesta key and i've only got me into it yes and i've only ever watched siesta key for juliet like juliet is that show sorry to like all the other cast members but like she really is also looks stunning as a brunette i would say juliet has the sauce she has the sauce like you just want to watch but the show like also knows she has the sauce like in the

I think that Juliet should be taken off of MTV and put on Bravo. Like, I think she needs a different network. Wow. But I know Juliet because she's good friends. Well, I don't know if they're good friends, but they're friends with one of my girlfriends in New York. So that's how we got connected. And we've texted.

So she is a full giggler. Wow. This is called networking. This is Giggly Squad alumni. Yeah. It's basically going to an Ivy League school. You just like end up networking. We basically have girls rushing Giggly. Then, I don't know if he's a giggler, but I think he is because he follows us both. Who? Vinny from Jersey Shore. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Have you texted with him too? No, I haven't.

No, but Vinny, like years ago, I like randomly hired a PR person when I had no business having a PR person. And she did Vinny's PR. And she was like, you guys would have to meet. Like, oh my God. Because originally she was like, you and Hannah should do a show with Pauly and Vinny. And I was like, no, we would die because I'm so Vinny. I feel like, and you're so Pauly D. Like, no.

I even think Vinny's like a Scorpio. So I already know that we would vibe because we'd probably like sit on the couch and not talk. We'd want to be alone. So that's how I know him. So I don't think, I don't know if he follows us because of Giggly. Okay. Well, you're being humble. Caitlin Bristow.

I love her. Is so fucking funny. She went to my show in Nashville. Yeah. And she wrote like Giggle Squad instead of Giggly Squad. Gigglers got mad. Yeah. But she is a supportive queen and we're obsessed with her. She's so funny. And her husband is so nice. Jason, the sweetest. Couldn't be nicer. And he's a hockey player. Who would have thought? Who would have thunk it? Who would have thunk it? The first time I ever talked to him, I was like, there's no way like this how nice you are. Like it's dumb how nice you are. I mean, she's really like...

to fall in love with a man that nice she's done some work on herself yeah she deserves that for sure finally Sistine and Sophia Stallone yes sorry why was that so hard for me to say I don't know did you just have a stroke there's so many s's in that I got nervy so they I'm obsessed with them but I can't even like yeah handle that so I'm doing um wait

I have another thing. I don't know if she's a fan of Giggly Squad, but I know she's a fan. Jessica Chastain was on Watch What Happens Live, and Andy asked her, like, out of all the couples on Bravo, like, who do you wish the best? And she was like, I don't care about any of the couples, but I want Paige to thrive. And I was like, wait, Jessica. Jessica. Confused.

Jessica Chastain. The best redhead actress Molly's game. Molly's game. I have to watch that again. With a reality TV person. She literally has an Oscar.

Okay, this reminds me. So I'm in Nashville. And they say, hey, Kacey Musgraves is coming to the show tonight. Oh my God, I saw that. No, no, no. This was like insane. So if you haven't listened to Justified or Breadwinner, Kacey Musgraves, it's amazing. We're not like necessarily country, country girlies, but... But also she doesn't give me country, country vibes. She gives me like... She's country pop. If Katy Perry wanted to sing a country song, that's the vibe she gives me. And she's also like...

Like, she has the sauce. Yeah, she's got the sauce. She's, like, her style, everything. She's won Grammy. She sold out Madison Square Garden. She has the sauce. So they tell me that. Now, someone who's been in this town for a bit, someone told me in my L.A. show that, um...

What's the British lady with a cat who's really famous who dated Pete Davidson? Kate Beckinsale was going to come to my show. I was freaking out. I was so nervous. No, I would have freaked out. Freaked out. Dude, the whole show being like, Kate Beckinsale. Yeah. I go in the back and they're like, oh, she couldn't make it.

like she heard you didn't have caviar and she was confused her cat had a tummy ache she couldn't make it um wait i do have to say one thing i dm'd jessica chastain when i so embarrassing um she didn't respond but i felt like i had to say like oh my god thanks for liking me what'd you say i said would you call her i didn't refer to her i just said hi like a normal

I said, hi, saw you on Watch What Happens Live. Thanks for being so sweet. I've been a fan of you forever. My mom and I always think you're the best dressed on every red carpet. That was really nice. Thank you. That was really nice. Maybe one day you'll have a friend like Hailey Bieber, but you don't. No, that's...

literally but i was like hannah's famous friends all you're doing is messaging random famous women being like so do you like to drink coffee i just keep harassing hayley bieber like it's so funny you're a nipple baby um i think it's great so casey i think she's like not gonna show up like everyone was all excited i go she's not gonna show up i've done this before famous people they don't they don't do plans right

Is she friends with Kate Beckinsale or that was just a whole separate thing? Separate. Okay. That was just a separate disappointing story. So she comes in and she like comes like to see me. Like she likes my comedy. I feel like she glows when you see her in person. How tall is she? Tiny. Not tiny, tiny, but tiny. Like 5'4", 5'5"? 5'4".

no i want to squeeze and like her skin is like glowing yeah she has just beautiful angelic gorgeous stunning and like she was wearing this cool blue coat like she was just everything you wanted her to be yeah she came in and i was like very new york about it like i was like just like thanks love your work like 99 cent pizza fuck yeah my friend stewart

Okay, it's kind of sad. I think it always starts with a guy named Stuart. So it's a girl. Okay. That's her first name? Stuart. S-T-W-A-R-T. So cool. So freaking cool. She's this gorgeous redhead comic, Stuart Fulton. Gorgeous. Sad story.

her friend just passed away okay who was like amazing and he was a huge fan of casey musgraves and she goes hannah i think this happened for a reason and you know i believe in that shit and i'm like he's in this room today like the funeral was like the day before whatever so casey musgraves comes in everything's chill we're all saying hi stewart gets the balls to say can we get a photo which i kind of like that she did that and we got it and we're about to leave and stewart was like

Can I tell you something, Casey? And then she starts pouring her heart out about like how she believes that her friend is here through her, whatever. And I like can't handle it in the moment. Like it was just, it was just like, I have to perform. It was just like so much. So Casey leaves and Stuart immediately goes,

Oh no, I just made up. We start dying laughing and she's like, no, no, no, no, no. Casey Musgraves hates me now. Why would you think she hates her? Well, you know, like it's a lot to put on someone and just like saying hi. Yeah.

So immediately Stewart's like, I fucked up. I fucked up with Kacey Musgraves. Also, Kacey Musgraves, I would argue, is like pretty... I would say... Would you say A-list? I would say... A-list. A-list. A-list. Like the amount of things people have probably said to her too. She was like, I don't know how she took it. And I'm like, look, people probably come up to her all day saying like, I listened to this when someone died. And she goes, yeah, and I don't want to like... I just want to be chill. Like she was all mad at herself. Yeah, but she shouldn't be because...

Look, if someone came up to us and was like, yeah, you would not be like, oh, my God. You'd be like, oh, my God. Walking around being like, fuck that girl and her dead friend. Like we do the show and we're all just like, that's great. We met Casey beforehand. Yeah. They go, Casey's outside hanging out.

And I was like, what do you mean hanging out? And they're like, she's outside hanging out. I go out there and Stuart apparently had gone up to her and was able to be like, hey, I'm going to say about the dead friend thing. And Casey's boyfriend or fiance was like, yeah, it was kind of a bummer. And they all just start dying laughing. So now she's basically best friends with Casey Musgrave. That's amazing.

Yes. So then they're all like hanging out. This was in Nashville? Yeah. This was... Nashville's the LA of the South. Are we going to Nashville? Yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah. So anyway, you go to Nashville, you just see country music stars everywhere. Wow. Nashville's the LA of the South. I love that. I did make fun of... You know those... You know those...

Those trolleys. Trolleys where people are drunk and they're riding it. I said it was the soul cycle of the South. Yeah, you couldn't pay me. How are you not puking? Also just like, no. I also heard that you're not actually pedaling it. It's fake pedaling. It drives itself. So you're making me work out. They're tricking you. Yeah, the whole thing is a pyramid scheme. Yeah, sounds like it. Did you write Bebop Ross?

just be just be Bob Ross oh that's my mental health moment just be more like Bob Ross yep wow think about it life is art you cannot look at life in black and whites you have to look at like Bob Ross you're gonna make mistakes and turn that painting into something more beautiful can I tell you something that's gonna blow your mind

For my birthday, I made Craig get me the entire easel, art set, canvas, and even the little thing he puts the paint on. Wait, so your mental health is declining. Bob Ross set. I said, I need this paint set. He goes, you don't paint. I said, I need the Bob Ross paint set. Do you need to spell it out for you? Okay. Bob Ross's head. Little head on everything. What are the chances you use it? I've used it once.

Yeah. What'd you paint? Not anything good. I just... I had no idea what I was doing, but I was like, I want to be one of those girls that, like, gets up and, like, is like, I'm going to paint. Look, I wasn't getting the matcha station, so I was like, and now I paint. No, I mean, I love painting, but, um...

that is life yeah isn't that funny you wake up you you don't know what you're doing but it's gonna become something yeah i'm like am i a landscape girly or am i like a still fruit girly like i don't know are you a nude male model girly maybe it's like what the fuck is this it's that honey you got it for me for my birthday some guy named chad and like what's up with a full boner okay so mental health be bob ross i get it i i

watch the Bob Ross channel all the time oh I love it it's so therapeutic so therapeutic and what does he say when he messes up he goes we're gonna make that's okay just make it a happy little cloud he's just he gives you like life advice so you just let the brush yeah that tree wanted to be there doesn't look right to you it's right you're just like fuck yeah Bob fuck yeah wow we're starting this is the new Scientology

And Bob Ross is like our dead leader. Do you know that you cannot buy a Bob Ross painting? Why? Because like his estate is owned by his family and they will not sell any of his paintings. Do you? Because I tried to get one for Craig for his birthday and it's not a thing. Wow. The Nepo babies are running these streets. Bob Ross's Nepo children are like, nope.

I have wild... But they could make so much money, I feel like. I know. So that's a bummer. Sometimes life is about art and not money, Paige. I can't believe Casey Musgraves' boyfriend said, yeah, real bummer. I'm going to start saying that more. Like when someone says something, you just have no idea what to say back. It's a bummer. Real bummer on the mood. So Alec Baldwin went on Instagram. No! No! I...

before he came over, I was watching this video. What is he doing? Alec Baldwin went on Instagram and begged everyone to follow his wife to get her to a million followers for her birthday. You are Alec Baldwin.

What are you doing? What are you doing? Also, like, as a famous person, it's your literal nightmare to be with someone who just wants clout. So you're basically saying, hey, my wife is exhausting the shit out of me. Yeah. Can you please just get her a million followers so she can shut up? I need to know how many followers does Alec Baldwin have?

have why doesn't he text hailey bieber to post her buy them for her alec but also if she cares about it that much they must have been so mad when she was getting canceled so mad but it's also like um alec baldwin instead oh he only has 2.5 yeah because he's he's not like posting on instagram all the time is he it kind of is alec baldwin loves instagram he like kind of is

He posted like four separate videos asking people. He even posted a thank you. Many thanks to everyone who helped get my wife to one million followers. Now I can love her. Now she's worthy of my love. No, this is insane. Like what? I mean, we're not even we're not. There's Alec Baldwin level like a famous and then me. If someone said to me, I want I really want a million followers. I'd be like.

get out of my apartment but also imagine if your boyfriend even as a like just to surprise you was like get hannah 10 million followers i'd be like that's no even if i want it don't tell people i want if hilarious not having the ick from alec right now it's but it's giving like is that what you guys care about after all the shit you've been through this year that's what you care about i missed that

I miss when we were like talking about her fake accent. Like what a fun time of life that was. When she's from Boston. Anyone see Alec Baldwin's wife? How do you say I'm from Boston? Spania Boston? Like that was such a crazy time in pop culture. Maybe she actually got followers from that though. She has over a million now.

Well, maybe I need Alec Baldwin as my social media manager. No, like is Alec Baldwin PR for... It's just called Alec Baldwin PR and he goes on all tired like, Hey, Paige, I saw about trying to hit a million followers. You've never heard of Giggly Squad. Do me a favor. Do me a favor. Just follow it. Just follow her. She's been annoying the shit out of me. These girls, they talk about vaginas and dicks. Just follow them. He is kind of like...

He's kind of like winded in the video. Yeah, he's a tired man. It seems like a ransom video. He's like, look, she's threatening another baby if she doesn't hit a million followers. Oh, that's the other team. Them having like a full-on baseball team. I want to see their team compete against Nick Cannon's team and see who wins. Wow. I mean. Nepo babies just fight to the death. Oh my God, the Hunger Games went for Nepo babies? Hailey Baldwin's like the leader. She's like, I volunteer as tribute.

So Gabby Union said that she cheated on her first husband and she thought that it was fine to do it because she paid all the bills. That's a wild thing to say. Kind of fuck with it. But then it's like, so if you're with a dude who's paying all the bills, he could cheat on you? I mean, it was kind of a feminist icon. Yeah, like, I don't know if... She's like, look, here's your allowance. I'm going to get dicked out.

Shut the fuck up.

Here's the thing, though. I feel like when roles it's more common for roles to be reversed. Like a guy pays all the bills for a girl. And I feel like there are a lot of situations where the women know their husbands are cheating on them, but they love that lifestyle so much. They kind of turn a blind eye. You're so right. So like, why not? Why can't it be the roles reverse where the man's just like, OK, well, I'm going to turn a blind eye because I love this lifestyle. Yeah.

I mean, it's almost like you're paying him to just like shut up. Shut the fuck up. If I had a dollar for how many times guys have been like, if you could just shut the fuck up and you can stay. It's basically you can't get mad at me if I'm letting you live with me. Yeah. But the whole point of being with guys who are broke is

is because you have great sex that's the only reason you're with a place to sleep that night come on they need to fuck for food yeah they're like they're so hungry like physically emotionally so like yo then what's the point of having a people want to i guess maybe just for someone to cuddle with at night but like body heat yeah and like poor guys are obsessed with you

Yeah, until they take you for granted and then they're on to the next rich girl. You know how it is in these streets. Poor guys. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks, etc.

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Oh my gosh. I'm going to give you guys a list as we wrap it up. A list of documentaries you need to watch before next episode. So we're on the same page. First one is called The Volcano on Netflix. It was so insane. Is it about a volcano? You sure got it. It's about a volcano. These people who went on vacation to see a volcano on an island. And it erupted. Yep. And they died? Some of them.

No, where? It was like New Zealand or some shit. It was like an excursion on a cruise. Imagine. They're like, oh, let's go see the volcano. Erupted. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen. This one was like, okay. Okay. It was about Miss Cleo on Netflix. Yeah. It was okay. It wasn't that great.

Orgasm Inc. Everyone has to watch. What's that on? It's on Netflix. I thought it was going to be like tips for orgasming. And I was like, if I had a nickel, it's... I'm just saying if I have a nickel. Bummer. Have you seen that trend on TikTok where it's like, what bits do you always say? We always say, even if it doesn't make sense, if I had a dollar. Like, if...

Sometimes I've said it and no one responds and I'm just like, you guys get it. Anyway, so Orgasm Inc. is about this woman who started a cult basically just like getting people saying that orgasms are going to fix everything and like force men to like give women fingering orgasms. Where? When? What was this? You have to watch it. Orgasm Inc. And she like got off on like controlling people and forcing them to orgasm. So everyone...

No, it's insane. I don't even get it. I know. You have to watch. She basically formed this thing about how orgasms like make you so happy. And she taught this like 15 minute orgasm where you like once they're close to coming, you slow it down again. And she teaches these men how to make women orgasm. And she called them like, oh, ohms, orgasm somethings, orgasm meditation. But it wasn't real or what? I mean, she was calling it orgasm meditation, but it's just like.

forcing women to get orgasms by men. So she was just running like a sex cult where everyone was just fucking and she was like, no, this is for science. Yes. And sometimes the people like they would fight and she'd be like, you guys need to go to an OM and they'd be like, but we don't want to. And she's like, do it. And the girl had like, and she'd watch them sometimes or she'd make people do it in front of a whole group. It was freaky. Okay. This is really good on Hulu. The Chippendales documentary.

Okay. Not the show. Not the show. Because they made a show. Not the show. Okay. Do the documentary. There's sex. There's murder. There's... There's murder? Multiple murders. Wow. It is crazy. Okay.

The Bernie Madoff Netflix documentary is kind of depressing. Depressing, yeah. It's slow, but if you're having trouble falling asleep at night, I would put it on. Okay. Nothing puts me to sleep like racketeering. I don't even know what racketeering is. I don't know what it is. But I just wanted to say that word. Wait, Pat, what's racketeering mean? What is racketeering? Please Google it. I feel like it's something that would put you in jail for tax evasion. Yeah, I like the word though. Racketeering. This is the final one that you might like.

Okay. I was, don't ask how I got there. It's like an old documentary on Amazon prime about Kiara Ferigni. Oh my God. I love her. Kiara. Kiara. And it's just like a puff piece about like how amazing she is. Yeah. But like, it's pretty cool. She is pretty sick. Like she really is like the first, she's like a hundred million followers. Yeah. She was like the first ever influence. And she didn't even use Alec Baldwin to get there. Yeah.

Okay, wait. Before we go, I have one show that I think everyone should watch, and it's on Hulu, and it's called Fleischman is in Trouble. Why'd you like it?

Because it was so different than anything else that, like other shows that I binge watch. I love that. Yeah, it was really good. Okay, and last housekeeping to start the year. We are going to Durham, North Carolina, Charlotte, North Carolina, and Charleston, South Carolina. And there's like 30 tickets left between all the shows because they've been releasing some. So if you haven't got it, try to get it. Yep. On giggly-squad.com. It's two shows each city.

It's going to be really fun. We have Houston, Austin, Dallas, Denver, Phoenix, San Diego, Philly, Huntington, Minneapolis. Not to be confused with all of Nick Cannon's children's names. That's Houston, Dallas. That's funny. That's how it sounded. That's so funny. Gigglers, we missed you so much. We love giggling with you. Thank God this is back. Talk to you later. Bye.