Giggling about con mums, toe nails, and new friends
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Hannah, I know you're picky with your headphones, so you're actually gonna love these. They're called Noom 1, N-W-M 1 is how it's spelled. Oh, those are those ones from Japan. Wait, they actually look so cool. They're like futuristic looking, like it's like a donut around your ear.

They're like open back headphones and there's no sound leakage. I've heard of these. And they use this technology called PSZ. It's personalized sound zone, which lets you enjoy your music without anyone disrupting you, which is perfect for me on a plane. Also, you don't disturb anyone around you because I don't want anyone knowing what I'm listening to or what like murder podcast I'm trying to...

get to the bottom of, solve a mystery. Yeah, it creates like a bubble of sound around your ear, which is really cool. And it's lightweight. I hate when it's heavy and it's like, it just feels like it's weighing on my little ears. And the battery lasts up to 20 hours on a single charge. So there's like not a lot of admin.

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What's up, my gregarious gigglers? Have I said that one before? I don't know, but why did it pop into my head, GarageBand? What's up, my GarageBand gigglers? Do you remember kids who knew how to use GarageBand? I never knew how. I was like, they're going to win a Tony. Yeah. They're going to win a Grammy. They're theater kids. Yeah. With cooler outfits. Sorry, no hate to the theater kids. No hate to the theater kids. We support. I'm always ragging on them.

You are. I know. You are. You still haven't watched Wicked. I'm such a bully. Like, I'm literally such a high school bully on this pod. I'm like, get in the locker, you theater nerd. I performed at New Haven and I realized it's like where Yale is. So I got on stage and I'm like, what's up, you fucking nerds? And I was like, oh my God. Wait, you're gorgeous right now.

Wait, can you guys mark that time code? This has never happened. With your blue eyeshadow. Do you know what's so funny? I went to the bathroom before the pod looked at myself and I said, if Paige doesn't mention my blue eyeshadow, she doesn't care about me. And you brought it up within the first two minutes. I love it. It's like, I think it's something with your hair color and the blue and your eye color. Cause your hair color is honestly your eye color.

And so it's so cohesive. Wait, I'm obsessed. And you do your lips like the same color as your cheeks. You're just. Wait, it was a risk. No, I love it. What do you love? I'm obsessed. Okay, I think this blue, it's like a matte light blue. It's either Halsey's line. No, I think it's about. It might not be. I'll put it in the newsletter. I'll put it in the newsletter. I hung out with a straight man accidentally. Where? Recently. Why? Work stuff. Okay. Okay.

Chris, tell me if I'm right or wrong. They do this thing where like when they try to connect with you, they keep showing you YouTube videos. And it made me feel like an outdoor cat who brings you a dead pigeon and you go, and then you go, oh wait, that's their love language. That's...

- Oh, they're trying to connect. - They're trying to connect. - Got it, thank you. - That's them showing affection. 'Cause he showed me one video and you know like you get the point after like, and it like, I just-- - You're like, oh my God, that's so funny. - I sat there for like two minutes watching it and like-- - Oh, you watched the full-- - Yeah, and then I was like, okay, that was a one off. He really is passionate about this video. And like 10 seconds later, he's like, oh, watch this. And I was like, oh, this is-- - This is a thing. - This is a thing in the community. Chris, is this what you guys do? - Yeah, I call it YouTube waterboarding.

Wait. YouTube waterboarding. What are men... That was the question. What are men? What are men like...

- I was actually, I can't even. - Do you guys waterboard each other? - Yeah. - Do you ever say, bro, I don't wanna watch this. - Yeah, that's why I started calling it waterboarding because people don't know when to stop. - 'Cause all men do is hang out and go, bro, watch this. - That'll be, that'll be the former one. - There's something also about when I'm watching, someone's watching me watch a video, I can't enjoy the video. - Me neither. - There's too much stimulation.

like men talk about like think about World War II or like talk about it or whatever. I was with a man recently and I don't know how it came up in conversation. It was like something on TV and I was like, is that true? Like do you guys really like talk about World War II all the time? And he was like, no, we talk about gladiators. What?

And I was like, got it, got it, got it. Do you know Des studied history? Really? And now I'm realizing it's because he just wanted to learn about gladiators. Yeah. Yeah. No, they love it. They talk about how football players are the modern day gladiators. That's what I was told. And I was like, I see how you got there. No, I definitely see how you got there. This is the thing. Men love, they do love knowing about wars, but they don't like to learn from history. Yeah. No.

Or learn about women's bodies. Like, they'll remember every, like, 1912 war, but they can't remember where your clit is. Like, there's just, like, a cognitive dissonance that I've been trying to nail down. When you're talking about war, I'd like to be like, and why do you think that happened? Like, they didn't have a good relationship with their mothers, is why. I had the most page-coded weekend I think I've ever, like, if I look back on my Friday and Saturday, I'm like...

That's who I am. You feel aligned in your destiny. Friday, I had to go to Albany because we have this like, it's called Ford Orange Club and it's like a social club. It's not like a country club. It's like a social club. Whatever that means. Sounds important. It sounds important. Like every month they have like a guest speaker or whatever. Ford Orange does sound like a strain of weed. Yeah, Ford Orange. You got that good Ford Orange, right? Yeah.

Look at me pretending I smoke weed. Yeah, that Ford Orange last night was crazy, bro. I smoked it. Oh, God. I need a YouTube series where you just get high. And we count the minutes. It would literally be just me staring at my fingernails for two hours. Yeah.

But who knows? Maybe that's our ASMR. So you go to Ford Orange. So I go to Ford Orange and I have to give, like, I have to be like the guest speaker or whatever. And we're driving there. My parents are coming with me because it's like a local whatever. I have no idea what to expect. I asked zero questions. I love that. So page coded. I was just like, yep, I'll be there. And I have, I know what I'm wearing. So like, I don't need to know anything else. You know, I was like, yeah. And that's how she deals with Giggly Squad shows as well. Packed my outfit and I'm done. Yeah.

So I get there and my mom's like, what are you going to say? And I'm like, Kim. Kim, that's not my business. And it's none of my business what I say up there. So I get up there like on the stage and I'm just like looking around the room and it's just like seven rows of like white men's pictures and like black and white photos, like frames. And I was just like,

They would hate this right now. They're rolling in their graves with their dad bods. I'm literally up there being like, fuck the patriarchy. Do whatever you want. You start a feminist rant at this old man rally.

They're even too old for January 6th. But it's all gigglers in the crowd. Oh, okay. So we're just like, everyone's hyping each other up. Anyway. Okay. That's on Friday. That same day, don't you know, the FDA approves a new UTI drug. I'm getting it sent to me in my DMs. Like, everyone's like, oh my God, Paige, you're going to want to see this. Yeah, people are sending it to me to send to you. It was like the first drug that they've approved in like 30 years. Okay. Later that evening, I get the worst UTI ever.

I've ever gotten in my entire life. But this happens to you every week. No, I really haven't gotten one. Okay, I've lied sometimes. Remember when you had to miss the podcast last week? Sorry. Sorry. I get the craziest raging UTI.

I like have extra pills, whatever. I wake up Saturday morning. I telehealth it up. I'm like, hey, I get a new prescription. Saturday night, I go with my brother and his girlfriend to the Tom Segura stand-up show. Krista Stefano killed. Shout out Chrissy D. It was so much. I love – it was at MSG. It was just so fun. I was home. I was in bed by 10. I was asleep by 11. Oh, wow.

It was just gorgeous. I have a question. Yeah. Does being single correlate with less UTIs? Okay. Well, you'd think. You'd freaking think. Because I'm Friday night. Like, obviously, I'm still – I'm 32 years old, but, like, I was home. So, like, when I step into Albany and I step onto my parents' street, I'm 16.

I'm 16. I have to ask to leave the house. Like, I could never just leave my house. No. Like, that would be insane. Get permission. Ask when they want you home. So it's like Friday night. Sneak in a weed pen. 10 o'clock and I'm like, but.

It burns a little. And my mom can hear me. And here's the other thing. I'm in the bathroom in my room for like a while. Yeah. But my bathroom is above her bedroom. So she knows when I'm in the bathroom. She knows when you have a tummy ache. So if I'm in there too long, she's like, what's she doing in there? Wait, that is so funny. You guys have an unhealthy relationship. Very. Yeah. So she comes up. I hear her coming up the stairs. What's going on? Are you okay? And like I immediately turned 16. And I'm like, hey.

I actually might have a UTI, but I promise I actually didn't even have sex. And she just looks at me and she goes, okay. She was like, well, you don't always have to have sex to get a UTI, you whore. She goes, I just was giving blowjobs. I wasn't letting him go in.

No, but I'm like racking my brain because I'm like, how did I get one without having sex? You sat on an MSG chair with like mostly men in that stadium. I don't know. And then I was like, well, did I use a new soap? Like have I? And I was like, you know what? I think my immune system's just down. Like I'm coming up with like all these things.

But anyway, you were you actually weren't late, but you messaged me that you might be late because Kitty was making biscuits on your face. And I realized if you have a cat and your cat's making biscuits on your face, Google making biscuits. If you don't know, I honestly don't have the time to explain it. It's dermaplaning. It's amazing. I was like, yeah, de-puff me.

Um, I like to let the gigglers know like where we are in our cycles. I got my period. It woke me up yesterday morning, like violently. Okay. I'm actually so glad you brought this up because obviously I'm updating the gigglers on my egg freezing process. Did I tell them how they want me to go on birth control? Yeah. Oh, I did. I think so. Okay. They want me to go on birth control for like a week. And I was just like, ah,

I don't want to. So I have to wait till May to see if I get my period naturally. And if I don't get it naturally, then I'm going to just do it for the week. Do you think if you just like hang out with me enough days in a row, like my alpha energy of my period might like synchronize with yours? Well, I actually think I am supposed to have my period right now because my boobs are a little bit big.

Wait, also, Chris, look away. I'm wearing the Skims nipple bra because I just wanted to see what it looked like. Is that still available? You almost poked me in the eye.

I'm kind of obsessed. I need to get it in nude. Yeah. Well, I love that for you. Thank you. I love how she's like, this is the status of my nipples, my UTI. Yeah. I PMSed so bad on like the day before, two days before my period. And it was a weird PMS where like I had no one I was mad at, no one I knew of who was mad at me. Mm-hmm.

Nothing that was stressing me out. But like the PMS is stronger than all those factors. You were in rage. I was in rage and I was sitting there and I knew that I was losing my mind. Yeah. And I was, I was anxious about nothing. Yeah. And it was so frustrating because like you feel crazy. Like I was just sitting there like,

you just feel like you want to murder someone. You want to punch something, but you have no valid reason. Every day there's something that goes wrong, so normally I can put it into that, but I really had a very low drama day, so I was just sitting there fighting my own battles. No, honestly, for the past three months, I've used the phrase, can I just have a day? Like, I've texted so many of my girlfriends. They'll, like, send me something, like, did you see this? Did you see that? I'm like, can I just have a day?

where someone's not pissing me the fuck off. - Just eight hours, not even a full day. Just a work day. - Just a work day. - Just a nine to five work day. So yeah, I was PMSing really bad, got my period, everyone's okay now.

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So good. They have a bunch of true to fruit flavors that keep you hydrated They have acai berry lemon lime and pina colada and just one stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates you better than water alone and I Love drinking water. So I love

Thank you.

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I keep getting like all these TikToks of like Selena and Benny and like they've been doing like press and like whatever. I like their song Sunset Boulevard. Yeah, and I like them. Have you seen his toenails? No, that hasn't come across my desk. Do us a favor. Type in Benny Blanco's toenails. Poor Chris. He's like, can I have a day? No, literally. He's like, give me a day. They are amazing. The art? Are we talking about the art? Yes. Yes.

This man, and I can't believe I'm even saying this because if someone said like, oh, he paints his toenails, I'd be like, ick. No, they're literally works of art. Please Google the sushi one. Wait, like should be in the MoMA. No, like he literally. Wait, so if your boyfriend started doing this. Honey, not mine. Honey, not mine. Oh, honey, not mine. Well, my thing is that it takes forever. Yeah.

But like what a quirky, fun, creative thing. He's very quirky. Like I like it for him, not my man. Can I say a hot take? Selena's been through a lot. Yeah. A lot of time when people have a traumatic like relationship in the public eye, the next relationship they decide to keep it private. Yes. They're not. No. Do you think that she's just like, this is my life. I might as well monetize it. What a great deep question, Hannah. I'm going to tell you what I really feel from the bottom of my soul.

I think she feels so protected by him that... She wants to show it off. There's nothing that could anyone on the outside world could say or do about their relationship that would throw them off. This is a perfect example. And people will always say like, Paige, you shouldn't say that. He should... Wait. What? I didn't say it yet. I didn't say it yet. Okay.

Because I'm getting to it. Like, I'm always like, the guy should love the girl more. Yeah. 100%. Like, full stop. I don't care what your reasoning is that it should be equal. It shouldn't. This is a perfect example. He loves her so much more. You can just tell. And that's how it should be. And that's why they're...

I also was going to argue they're perfect. Chris, are you trying to show us more toes? I mean, is that not the craziest thing you've ever seen? Yeah. I mean, he's a creative. Also, he shaved his toes for that one. I wonder if that was part of the aesthetic. Yeah. I love that. Okay, you can put it away, Chris. Thank you. Chris just loves it. Okay, Chris is going to show up. I love...

that I found out Benny Blanco's written every single song ever. - No, literally like ever. - Ever. And I love hearing musicians talk about writing songs 'cause they're like, "Yeah, I did like a one, two beat." - Yeah. - And then I said, "California girls." - Yeah. - And then like, the biggest hit ever. - It's just they have a different part of their brain. - But he,

is so successful and hasn't been in the room with every famous artist so he can like handle her fame. 100%. Sometimes I feel like maybe she would want to protect who she's dating from all the shit that she gets. I mean, he's been called...

a literally a sewer troll for the last like two or year or whatever they've been dating. But I guess you're right. Like they're used to the public eye in a way. He has the zaniness where he could like handle it. I just love a man who's self-aware enough to be like, my job is to make her life easier. Yeah. Oh yeah. The day I meet someone that's like, I just want to make your life easier. Yeah. I'm like,

I'm nervous about it just because I'm like protective of them. And I feel like they're giving too much. They've done a couple morning shows. They're going to be fine. Yeah. Justin and Hailey. Like it's still this thing where like everyone compares and all that stuff. So the more you give, the more people can have opinions. I couldn't imagine that. I mean, dealing with it. They've been dealing. I've been literally dealing with a breakup for like three months and I want to.

shoot myself in the eye no i know have they been dealing with this for almost 10 years their whole life like that i would right i could never and benny is friends with justin like they've written songs together yeah because famous people it's like a little high school they all like date and fuck each other but um i love it i love it i love it i would argue if you're inspired by selena and benny's relationship how do i say this in a nice way

don't settle for the ugly guy that likes you a lot because he's not Benny Blanco. He's not as rich or successful or nice. And when you settle for an ugly guy...

he's actually the one that's gonna break your heart, rip out your heartstrings more than anyone 'cause you were like, "I was doing a Make-A-Wish, you liked me first, I felt safe," and then they get confident for a second 'cause a cute girl liked them, and then they will ruin you more than any hot dude you've ever dated. - If I had to rank all my boyfriends in my head, my two ugliest ruined my life.

It's always a guy named Matt. A guy named Matt who you were like, I pulled you out of obscurity. Literally. Literally. Literally. So I'm just saying don't go full ego. But let me tell you something else. The good looking ones also fuck you. True. You know? I think the key is to find a good looking guy who...

Nope, there's no key. Nope, no key. Nope, no key. I truly think it is. He has to be a little bit more obsessed with you than you are with him. But not too much more than it gets restraining order-y. Yeah, than it gets ick. But like he has to think about you more than you think about him. I always say that he has to know first. I don't mean he has to choose you. I just mean he has to fucking know first and you can't have to convince him at all. If you're trying to convince him,

Because I would argue that no one changes. Nobody changes. Well, we're just saying generic statements now. Do you want to know something? No one changes. My grandma, rest in peace. Oh my God, rest in peace. My grandma gave me two pieces of advice and I remember them to this day. The first one, she said, if you're dating someone new, Paige, you have to experience all four seasons with them.

because people are different at different times of the year. And two, people don't change. And I feel like I get pushback on that statement so much where it's like, I feel like bridesmaids where it's like, okay, girl. They don't. People don't change. They can give you like a representative for a certain amount of time. And I've met some amazing,

Amazing representatives. My biggest advice with dating, because now I'm remembering what I used to be when dating, is I would, like, see a guy I wanted. And then I would just take in all the information of, like, what he wanted. Yeah. And, like, respond the way I thought he wanted to respond. And, like, men are kind of simple. And the next thing you know...

like I would be a representative. Yeah. And then you you look in the mirror and you're like who the fuck is this? And even though he likes you you don't like who you've become. Yeah. And you're like wait I got what I wanted and I miss who I was. Yeah. So that was like how I dated. I feel like we dated very differently but had like the same

Like, you even saying, like, you saw a guy you wanted and you would go after them. I had a therapist tell me one time, like, of all the dating stories you tell me, never once have you picked the guy. Like, you keep letting them pick you and you don't like them. Like, why do you let them pick you? I love when I see a girl, like, meet a really good-looking guy and be like, I talked to him and, like, we just didn't hit it off. Because, like, when I was younger, I was like, no, he's good-looking. Like, obviously I want to be with him. I was very...

I really was shallow with men. Not my outfits. Not myself. But with men. You loved having like a good looking man who people thought was cool. Loved it. Like, oh, that's Hannah's boyfriend. Like a handbag. Yeah. And because I thought it was. See, I loved a pet project. No. Yeah. See, I thought it was like feminists. Yeah. I felt like a like an ugly man. I liked finding them real traumatized and being like, let me help you. Yeah.

And then I'd be like, and this is why your mom doesn't love you. I had something crazy happen to me this week. Tell them. There's a tennis player named Kim Clijsters. Okay. Who's one of the greatest tennis players of all time, won multiple Grand Slams.

She messaged me a while ago and was like, "Love your special." And I was like, "Kim Clijsters, I love you. I'm glad you played tennis." - I remember when you saw Coco go off at Vanity Fair and you literally... - I was like, "Hi Coco!" - And she was so nice. - Lost your mind. - I lost my mind. She was so cool. "Hi Coco, love you." So Kim Clijsters was like, "Oh my God, you play tennis? We should hit sometimes."

That's like, okay, let me try to think of your world. Give me an analogy. I'm going to give you an analogy. That's like Victoria Beckham was like, hey, do you want to get lunch? That's like Victoria Beckham being like, hey, I'm going to go shopping. Can you help me? No. And you didn't do anything to make her do that. Like she literally was like, hey, Paige, I love your outfit. Can you come shopping with me? Oh, my God. No, I would cry. So I thought she was like being nice. Yeah. Didn't say anything because I'm not like that. Okay. I'm not good at talking to important people. Mm-hmm.

If they want to talk to me, that's fine, but I'll get out of it pretty quick before I embarrass myself. So then like she commented on some, we were like kind of commenting a little bit and she kept being like, when do you want to hit? And I was like, she was following up with the plan. She was, she was just like, she's handling it. Yes. So then the other week she was like, Hannah, are you in town? And I was like, you know, actually I am like Giggly Squad tour is over. I'm, I'm in town. And she's like, do you want to hit on Friday? And I was like, that would be the greatest thing that

- So where'd you go? - So we go to this place in like Hell's Kitchen. She came from New Jersey, which is like a while. So I immediately felt pressure. I was like, she came all the way from New Jersey. I can't fuck this shit up. Mind you, my cardio is not great right now. I've been on planes. I'm trying to come up with excuses. I've, look, I'm not- - Have I told you about my walking pad?

I told everyone about my walking pad. The things you do instead of therapy. I'm obsessed with my walking pad. And if you think – have you been getting the TikToks of the girls with the splits machines? Yes.

- Splits machine, like you do a split? - Yeah, it's like you put your legs, it looks like stirrups, or it looks like the things when you go to the gynecologist. Like you put your legs in them. - Oh, and you push it together? - And then you crank this thing. No, you crank this thing and it stretches your legs and you just sit like that. - So girls are just gonna tear their groins? - Well, my ordered one. - Wait, I'm getting the ones where your body just shakes. - Oh, you are? - So you have an exorcism? - My goal is I wanna be able to do a split by July.

Wait. I love that you brought that up because I've never come close to a split. Me neither. And I think the universe did that to me because they knew if I could do a split. It's all you would do. It's all I would do and you'd get super annoying. You would hop down into a split anywhere, everywhere. I'd be in a split right now. Yeah. Also, I do have to say when I would sex back in my day, I was like, split on the dick, rotate. Like I was false advertising that shit. I was all,

I was like, leg behind my head, both legs behind my head. And then I show up in his place and I'm like, my stomach hurts. - No, have you ever actually tried to put your leg behind your head and it starts shaking and you're like, that's so embarrassing? - I've never even gotten to the shaking part. My leg's just like, no. But I think it's genetic that people can do splits. - I think it's probably- - Like, you know, people come out of the womb and they're just like doing splits. - Flexible, it's like how flexible their hips are. - Wait, why am I jealous how flexible babies are?

They're so flexible. Do you ever see them just like put their foot in their mouth? Yeah, what's the age that you like you're starting to lose your flexibility and you don't even know it? What's the age where all your trauma starts to get stored in your hips? Yeah. So anyway, I have all my trauma stored in my hips and my lower back and I go up to meet Kim Clijsters and when I tell you she's cool like

she's from belgium she some guys there recognizes her speaking french to her she's speaking french she's awesome we get on the court and we start hitting and it's like incredible like i'm hitting with the woman i used to watch on tv who's and and also it's like her art right this is her this is the story of it was good to meet your hero yes yeah but you're like what's the point of this story can we wrap it up okay a lot of side tangents but long story short 10 minutes in

I was like really excited. What did you wear? I just wore a white polo and Lululemon leggings and Coco Gauff New Balance shoes. It wasn't a look, but it was like primed to perform. Okay. So 10 minutes in. Some say if you look good, you play good, but we don't say it here. Serena Williams did say that. So I don't know if you've ever been like nervous plus hyped up. Sure have. Yeah. Yeah.

Sure fucking hard. You're already like breathing heavy. Plus like she obviously doesn't miss. Right. Ten minutes in I'm like I'm going to croak. Yeah. Like I need an oxygen tank. So I start just like bringing up conversation like oh quick question. Trying to like catch your own breath. No I can't breathe. Yeah. I'm like

It's also because I haven't played and I went from like zero to a hundred. Yeah. I keep pretending to tie my shoes. Like I like took off my shoe at one point and I like took apart my shoe, re-put my shoe together. And then we sit down and she's asking me like nice questions and I'm trying to talk, but I'm literally so out of breath I can't speak. How long do you play for? So...

We ended up talking a lot because I was, like, about to faint. And we ended up probably total playing for, like, 25, 30 minutes. I felt bad. But, like, you know, she wasn't there to have, like, the hit of her life. Right. But I, like, I did well. Yeah. And I hadn't played in a couple months. Yeah. And I feel, like, newly inspired. And now you're friends. And I have new best friends. Wait. Wait.

So that was the point of the story. You have a new friend and you wanted to run it by me and see how I felt about it. Yes. And you tried to distract me with that. You love tennis. She loves tennis. I don't really care about tennis. You even said we didn't even wear good outfits. You would have had a horrible time. I did. Then afterwards, you know, when you leave and then I was also PMSing. So I was like.

I don't know if she liked me. She went all the way from New Jersey. She has a family. She left her family. She was like, that was a waste of my time. That wasn't worth it. Like, I literally convinced myself that I wasted her time. And then the next day she texted me. And I've been married for a while. Yeah. I felt like a- You forgot what it was-

You know after a date when you're like 50-50 and then he texts you and you go, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I crush. And you go from nothing to being like, am I the greatest who ever did it? Yeah. So, but now I don't know what to text her. What do I do? You're always in this predicament. How are you always get in this? I think I'm shyer. Yeah. With like,

text me. Yeah, you are. Then you are in person. It's because I have a friend named Haley who I love, Haley Nicola. She listens to every episode, not Haley Biebs.

And Haley harasses me over text. No, Haley. Texting should be studied. So I warn people. I say Haley is the greatest human on this planet. The greatest. You got to carve out at least 45 minutes if you're going to throw her a text. I go, do not judge her by her texting habits because Haley likes to text. Continuously. As the thoughts come to her. And she's quick. God forbid.

She's got quick thumbs. She thinks before she texts. She starts off with hey. You're watching her come up with it as she texts you. And if you look at your phone, it looks like corn on the cob. Just like da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. So, Haley, I love you. So anyway, I'm working on a new friendship. I'll keep you guys posted. As you guys know, I partnered with DSW to curate the Q.

cutest spring shoe collection just fabulous it's just so freaking adorable okay so i picked a bunch of flats a bunch of fun heels and a bunch of sneakers i tried to do an equal amount because i know that there are a lot of hannah's and i know that there are a lot of pages also i

I mean, did you see the gifting? How freaking cute were all of those little boxes? I was obsessed with them. I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like

honestly with like sweatpants, jeans, capris. I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now. And then I added a lot of really cute heels. Honestly, I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels, which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things. But I really tried to think like what do you need for spring? So there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten heels, but I'm obsessed with them. So take a look at dsw.com.

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I have another hot take. Okay. I watched The Baldwins. Okay. It literally keeps getting advertised to me on my Amazon Prime. It's like, shows you would like, shows you would like, shows you would like. I'm like, I can't. How is it? So, I have a lot of thoughts. Okay. First off, I watched The Rust, which is a documentary about what happened. Okay, with the whole Spanish accent thing? No, with the whole Alec Baldwin thing.

murdering the whole shooting incident. Now I sound so insensitive. I'm like, they made a documentary about her fake accent? The truth is the reality series is covering him going through the trials. And they acknowledge that she gets a lot of hate for her Spanish stuff. They don't ignore it at all. Wow. Because basically they're like, if you're going to do it, you have to show us this stuff. Why are they doing this? I think it's a money thing.

I mean, but they got 10K. I mean, they got a fucking baseball team. I have to say the first episode, I was intrigued. Really? And it's because, first of all, you're watching an A-lister, Al Baldwin. He's going through the trauma of... And I think she's gorgeous. She's gorgeous. Yeah. The trauma... You're watching the trauma of him like...

It's unfathomable how horrible what happened. Yeah. And he's clearly in a really bad place. Like shock. And they're in a four or five bedroom apartment in New York City with seven kids.

and they go through and describe each of the kids, kind of like the seven dwarves. They're like, he's dopey, he's silly. This one's... No, seven kids is crazy. I'm obsessed. I loved watching Lives of the Rich and Famous, like Mother VH1. Oh my God. Do you remember that guy's voice? Yeah. Where it was like, it was like British, where it was like, Paris Hilton has 7,000 water bottles. It's so good.

- Oh my God. - She had 40 billion crystals on her toilet. - And if you think that was crazy, wait till her 21st birthday. Like that was his voice and I love that fucking guy. Bring that show back. - Bring that show back. - Where is that show? - They're like, his estate on the mountain. No one's allowed to go unless what I... I love seeing like people's rich, crazy lives, but like this is insane. But you do see like their relationship

is different than you think. It's actually so funny you say that. Like, obviously the internet is built and like influencers is built on like relatability in some capacity. Like I love seeing a bitch that I relate to. But the second best thing is someone I don't relate to at all. Like I, I'm like that,

Intrigues. A woman with seven kids? I can't relate. I understand why this was, like, greenlit because it's, there's so much crazy stuff. I don't love that the kids are on TV, especially, like, the oldest one who's amazing and so funny and so cute. But, like, they don't just have seven kids. They have four cats and four dogs. No. So, like, there's mental illness happening. No, that's. So I'm intrigued. I'm like, ah.

I need to understand what's going on. I'm dialed in. I'm locked into this. And she, you know, she has a sense of humor. She has a charisma, honey. She has a charisma. So she was a yoga teacher, which you know yoga teachers are fucking bonkers. Crazy. But yoga teachers are like, if I'm going to talk to someone in the room, I want to talk to the yoga teacher because she's going to be inspiring. She's loony. Manifesting shit. So she handles him because he's...

Also, he's hilarious. Like he randomly would just be doing funny voices. The daughter was like 50% of the time, my dad's really funny. And then 50% of the time he's like in the 80s, this is what it was like. I'm like, that's literally how I talk about Des. Yeah. Like that's so funny. That's how my husband is. But like he's an A-list actor. So every now and then he's doing like funny voices. And you realize like he's just kind of this creative guy. His dad wanted him to get into like a real job and he wanted to be an actor. Yeah.

He's just a creative actor. She looks at him and says all these like inspirational things while he's like clearly like he's. Are they in love? I think they're functioning. Who loves the other one more?

I feel like he's broken. Okay. Perfect. He's broken and she, he basically was like, I had, he literally said I had the worst home life and horrible family life and all I wanted was to come home to a home full of children and a wife that holds me down. Damn. And he's like, she keeps my life together and she is the like, the,

the uplifting positive voice that I need. And she's, he can be like grumpy and stuff. And she always is positive. By the way, nothing happens in the show. Like the first episode is like, you get the point. Yeah. Cause the first episode is them in the city being like, okay, we're going to go out to the Hamptons. Not that easy when you have seven kids and seven animals. I mean, you don't even fit in one car. And they have two nannies.

So they have three cars and they have to they have a whole chart system and the kids are biting each other and crying and then they can't find a cat. I can't wait to make my first chart system as well. And Alec Baldwin goes, whatever you do, I don't want the cats in the car. I love them, but I'm allergic and to be in the car I can't do. Yeah.

Of course, she puts all the cats in his car. I don't know, probably produces more than that. 100%. But, like, it's a fascinating look into these people's lives. But they talk about how, yeah, they kind of have to hide a lot. They just, like, hide together and they have each other. But what happened on that set with Helena, the director, is so devastating because basically they didn't – long story short, they didn't have a lot of funding for

They ended up hiring a girl who like wasn't really qualified for the, and her job was to manage the guns. And what happened is there's not supposed to be any real rounds on set.

- Like at all? - At all. And it was randomly in a bunch of guns, real bullets. - No, that's so terrifying. - So like the fact that it didn't happen before he did it is like a miracle. And the day, this is really upsetting, but the day that it happened, the day before, a bunch of people had quit 'cause they felt like it wasn't safe

because there had been like some mistakes and they were like, we can't be on this set anymore. We don't feel like it's safe. Oh my God. And some cameramen quit. And that's why the director was standing up by the camera because normally she would be away. In the back. And that's why when he, so, oh my God, I'm like shaking. So it's fucking insane. And he's lived a long life and he's like, this is nothing like I've ever been able to deal with before. Yeah, like by far the craziest thing that's ever happened to me. Fast forward, everyone's talking about

Speaking of Hollywood, the studio on- Seth Rogen, have you watched? I have watched. Thoughts? People are loving it. What are they loving? I don't need to be stressed out when I'm watching TV. And they're calling it cringe comedy. It's not cringe. It's I'm stressed out comedy. Like, no, it's like-

I tripped, then I broke my leg, then someone needs my leg, then I lose money and I don't have any money and then I'm lying in the street. I'm like, I'm stressed. It's not my type. It's not my type of humor. Wait, so you agree with me? I agree with you. Okay, I thought I was crazy because people were like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. Do I think the cinematography is fantastic? Phenomenal. Do I love every actor in it? Absolutely. Was Martin Scorsese incredible? Chef's Kiss is Seth Rogen incredible.

A genius? Yeah. A master of his time. Yes. But like, not my sense of humor. Not my sense of humor. I do like that it is, it feels, it feels like they really did take from their lives. Like these are real scenarios. Look, am I going to be watching every episode? Yes. Well, there's nothing else on TV. There's nothing else on TV anymore. And when Apple comes out with something, I watch it. They don't fuck around. Yeah. They're quality over quantity. Have you heard about The Pit? I watch it.

Is it about a hospital? You would hate it. This is the thing. Everyone's saying it's good, but I am, I get. You would dislike it. If I see blood. It's really good because it's one, the season is one day.

It's one day broken up into like the hours of the day is each of the episodes. Did you ever watch 24? I heard of it. Okay. So it's like that where it's like one day in the hospital and it's really good because there is a really like realistic, realistic,

factor in it not that I've ever worked in a hospital or like no you're like but I watch Grey's Anatomy so this is actually that's a that's a real term they use compared to Grey's Anatomy is it accurate I think it's accurate it's similar to Grey's Anatomy but it's not as like romantic as like Grey's and like Grey's Anatomy was a fucking sex show like that was like would you hook up with McDreamy hell yeah what have you ever watched Scandal yeah would you rather hook up with McDreamy or the president or the president

McDreamy. McDreamy. McSteamy, actually. I was more of a McSteamy gal. Okay, I have to look at them all up. But, like, obviously, if they're over 40, I'm in. But the main doctor in the pit is so hot. Like, that's who you're... Like, I'm watching for him. And there's something about, like, a man in charge who, like, keeps his cool. It's just so fucking hot. Hot take. I think there's more male doctors because they don't have empathy.

Wow. What an interesting take. Like women are, they're more nurturing. So like they'd have more, like they'd, it would be too tough. I don't know. I do know that the nurses that are primarily women, it's just weird. The nurses are primarily women. And let's be honest, the nurses are doing everything. The doctor comes in and it's like. The show actually kind of.

- Shows that. - There's one head nurse and it's like, she does everything. - Yeah, and then the doctor comes in and goes, "You're welcome," walks out. But there is a sense of like, being a doctor is about like, every day you can see the most, depends what kind of doctor you are obviously, sometimes you're just like, "The tits look great." - This show is, they're a trauma center. - You have to go home after that and like- - I don't know how they do that. - And like talk to your wife. - I don't know how anyone in the medical field legitimately did COVID.

The like I shout out to all of them for I'd love to know how many people after covid in the medical field quit. Well, because it was it was irrational and insane and they went above and beyond to like help the world. Yeah. But I also maybe it's kind of like me with watching murder documentaries where like maybe some of these people are like.

Whatever happens during the day reminds myself my day could have been worse. Maybe they're like, I can handle all this because then I'll be grateful that I'm alive. That's how people feel watching reality TV. Exactly. They're like, well, I don't got those kind of problems. Oh, one more thing I was watching. Con Mom. I think I saw an advertisement. It's on Netflix. It's documentary style. You guys love I Know A Con. It's like a girl or a woman that pretends to be someone's mom.

So I'm not, I don't want to give away who she is, but basically this like adorable pastry chef meets a woman who's also adorable. They fall in love. They get pregnant. She realizes he has some demons that he hasn't worked out. If I had a nickel. Perfect type. Yep. She's like, I will fix you. And he's like, I don't talk to my dad anymore. He was like, not cool. And I don't know who my mom is. Out of nowhere, he gets an email from someone being like, hey, I'm your mom.

And he asks her like a bunch of questions and she knows the answers to all of them about his life. And she's like changed her name a couple times. Wait, spoiler alert. Just waiting for people to click off. Is it the wife? No. Okay. But I love your thinking. You sick buck. Okay, keep going. So then he meets her and she destroys their lives. Is she? Spoiler alert. Wait, spoiler alert. Is she his ring? Is she? Spoiler alert.

Wait, why don't people use the phrase spoiler alert in more like everyday jargon when it has not, you're not going to spoil anything. But like anytime I'm going to say Tina, I'm going to be like, spoiler alert. She's a fucking cunt. You go, how's your day? Spoiler alert. Not good. Wait, why do I want to call my next special spoiler alert? Wait, I kind of love it. I know. Okay, but true. I have a question. So spoiler alert. Is she his real mom? Spoiler alert.

No way. But that's like a real spoiler. Wait, that's a really big spoiler. Okay, the other spoiler alerts were like. Those were fake. That was real. Wait, that's great. Okay, I'm going to watch that tonight then because I clicked it and I was like, I don't know if that was that great. Grace, can you bleep out my answer because I feel like I'll ruin it for people. Okay. Oh my God. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. But like conning and lying, it is crazy how you watch people who are very intelligent, very smart, and then you watch them.

for whatever reason, get literally groomed. Final thought, it's about to be fucking April. Time flies when you're having fun. We're about to go on a book press run. Yeah, we are. And we're so excited. We have to get a lot of outfits. How are you doing? I'm not doing good. What's the vibe? I'm not doing good. I'm not doing good. Okay. I'm not doing good. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Not doing good. Not great over here. I have like one outfit. We're doing Drew Barrymore tomorrow, which I'm very excited for.

- And we're sitting on the couch on Fallon. - Yeah, we're gonna pop over to Jimmy Fallon quick. - We're gonna say hi to Jim's St. Rose alumni. - Here's the thing with Jimmy Fallon. I just love it so much. There's something about late night talk shows that are like very exciting to me.

And what I'm most nervous about is anyone like a celebrity that I love, like if they're on Jimmy Fallon, I will watch their interview on Jimmy Fallon. He's my favorite of all the late night hosts. What's significant about this is like this is Hollywood shit. Like this is a late night sitting down. No, I'm crying. And it's important because back then,

There were so many gatekeepers that would prevent two girls who are funny from making it to the couch at Jimmy Fallon. And it's because of you guys and because of TikTok and because of podcasting that we're able to do this thing. Haters will say it's Photoshopped, but it's not. Wait, remember when people used to say that all the time? The thing that scares me though- Also, there might be some Photoshop. No, I'm definitely going to Photoshop my face. The thing that scares me though is-

Like when you go on Jimmy Fallon, you have to have a story. We can't focus on one story. Literally two seconds in, I'll be like, what is our story? I'm going to start a sidetrack. You're going to be like, Hannah, I'm going to say spoiler alert. There's a pre-interview. They call you and they like vet your stories and tell you which one they think is going to be best. But like we have to think of a story. We have to make up a story. Every once in a while, like someone will comment something mean on my Instagram and they'll absolutely eat.

But like, I'll be like, fuck. Every now and then you're like, that's kind of funny. I'll screenshot it and send it to my brother. Like, they nailed me with that one. But someone wrote something mean on my Instagram. And they're like, I forget how this girl even started it. She was something like, she went to an obscure college. She went to an obscure college and like, it closed. So like, she's an idiot or something like that.

Where's the lie? Where's the lie? But also, I feel like if we need a fallback, me and Jimmy Fallon went to the same college. Yes. So it's like we'll use – That is now that it got canceled. Right. And like that's funny inherently. That's hilarious. No, it's going to be great. We're going to be fine. I'm definitely going to take a beta blocker. And you don't know what you're going to wear yet? Are you kind of –

No, I don't. Because that's the one where you need to have like a look. I need to have a look. Like L-E-W-K. The only thing I know for my look for Jimmy Fallon, and I don't know why, but it's just like something I'm feeling. Yeah. I want my décolletage out. Yeah. I think I might want to do something like cold shoulder, off the shoulder. Love, love. Something with like, maybe like something mini. It's very like cocktail evening. I want to go like 2016 vibes. Oh. I'm always trying to go back to 2016. Yeah, you are. I feel like. You go.

Is it 2016 right now? No. Like the fall of 2015. Was that when you first graduated college and you were like going out in New York City for the first time? Yeah. Yeah. That's when you were like, the world is my oyster. I was like a husband. I'll find one in two seconds. Spoiler alert. I didn't. Spoiler alert.

- We love to end the show with a callback. - That's called a bookend. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling. And if you haven't pre-edited our book, do it because it's gonna arrive in two weeks. It's happening. It's happening. It's happening. Spoiler alert. Bye. - Bye.

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