Giggling about croissant cookies, community, and curling irons
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Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my great U.S. Open gigglers? Mmm.

I don't know. That was random. We're about to be US Open gigglers. We're going to the US Open tomorrow. We're so excited. Paige, is there anything you think the gigglers should know about the US Open? Like, what questions do you think the gigglers would have? I feel like everyone wants to be obsessed with tennis, but they watch Challengers, so they're, like, thrown. Like, they don't know what's going on.

Well, I keep seeing on TikTok that like one girl went to something that was like pre the week before the US Open and she was like really disappointed that no one was as dressed up as she thought they would be. And then all of these girls were doing TikToks of like what to wear to the US Open because it's like so much more casual. Well, the night matches are more like...

Like, I feel like they're a little bit dressy. And if you're on Arthur Ashe, there's two big stadiums, Arthur Ashe and Louis Armstrong. But the secret is you go the week before during qualifying if you want to see, like, the top people warm up, all those matches. Look, I'm feeling very territorial. I know. It's... Okay, the way you feel about tennis... Yeah. The way you feel about tennis is the way I feel about Love Island. I thought you were going to say fashion. Oh. Oh.

Love Island. Oh, because you like liked it before. Because I feel like I was watching Love Island way before even like Americans were watching UK. So I was way before Americans watching USA. We have taste. We have very good taste. Yeah. Like I was just like, I've been watching this show before COVID. DM me if you have any questions about tennis. But I actually did you see I finally watched Challengers.

I did see your very extensive review. I go through... Okay, here's the thing. When I watch your Instagram stories, I...

I'm just so happy that you're my friend and that you get to like read my thoughts about your Instagram stories because I truly do go through such a journey. Like it's such a mini movie, your Instagram stories, because like sometimes I'm like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with you. Then I'm like, I'm so grossed out by you. And then I'm like, my other DMs are the gigglers guessing how you feel about my Instagram stories. They're like pages, pages upset.

page is going to be upset when she sees check on page something really upset me this weekend that you had posted well i posted that in my no you laughed because i posted in my that i found my invisalign in my muumuu and you thought that was funny but then i took it one step too far and i posted a photo of my um toenail that the pedicure had grown out like it looked like i had a french manicure because the pedicure grew out so much and

That was violence that I chose that day to post that. No, that was violence. And also because I feel like you're so hard on your feet. That was the meanest thing you've ever said to me. What the fuck does that even mean?

No, I feel like you're always like running, working out like you're in sneakers. You're sweating. Running from the patriarchy. You're falling. You're like I feel like you do like fast walking sometimes. I don't know. Yeah. You're so I always feel like your feet must hurt more than the average person that you would need a pedicure more like to just like. No, I've lost many a toenail.

Yeah, I feel like your toes have had trauma. Well, you know what? I don't love myself enough to give myself a pat. It's funny. Some girls were like, first of all, we believe you. This is on brand. We're fine with this. And then some people were like, it's one hour of your fucking day, bitch. Take care of your nails. No, it's just like I can't go anywhere.

I get pedicures all winter long, too. Like, I've also never, never identified with the girls that are like, oh, it's winter. So, like, not getting a pedicure. Yes, I go longer than I do in the summer, but I'm still getting pedicures in the winter. Because you think you're better than me. No, I don't think I'm better than you. I'm not even comparing myself to you. I'm just saying I'm different. You said I had big, heavy feet. No, I didn't.

You know what I realized is the meanest thing someone said to me and it wasn't recent. It was like in general over the last couple of years. Yeah. Someone called me photogenic. Yeah. And I feel like that's the meanest thing you could say to someone.

No, I think that's one of the nicest compliments. No, when people see me in person and they go, you're photogenic. Or like we take a photo and they're like, oh my God, you're so photogenic. I'm like, so you're saying that you're surprised that my ugly ass looks decent in a photo. No, I think you're reading too much into it. You're being a little too sensitive in this situation, I think. I feel like today I'm in a sensitive place. I think I'm PMSing. Wait, did I tell you that I grabbed a curling iron? Yeah.

Your enemies are out to get you. Someone is preying on your downfall. No. Wait, that's my biggest fear. I was actually more mad at myself. I was like, there's no way I just did that. Like, that is not a thing that I do. I don't consider myself, like, a clumsy person or, like... Off-brand.

Yeah, it was really off brand for me. Like, so that's why I was so mad about it. Your head was in the clouds. Also, it's 2024. What like hair tools don't go off automatically after a certain amount of time? Like, are we kidding? What year is that? That's what I was most mad about. And another like another thing I'll bring up to the mayor. Like, that's a ridiculous hazard. That needs to be changed. The president needs to talk to someone about that. No, the laws should definitely be changed in that. And I'm

I mean, simple house fires. Yeah, because you know how many girls their day's ruined because they know that they left their flat iron on or whatever? Yeah, and it like ruins your countertop. I feel like I've ruined a lot of things with like my irons getting too hot. Whatever. So I went to grab it on the correct end.

And when I touched it, it was so hot that I was like, oh, my God, that was the wrong end. So then I grabbed the other end. But that was the wrong. Why was the right end hot? Because it was on for so long. It was on for hours. I mean, I touched something that was legitimately 500 degrees. I got a second degree burn on my middle finger. Wait, and your finger is already so tiny to begin with. Is it OK? Did it shrivel up?

Okay, so all that night I couldn't sleep because my hand was throbbing and ice actually made it way worse, which I didn't know was a fucking thing. You have to put it in milk.

I'm just kidding. I just made that up. No, because everything I was Googling was like, put butter on it. I'm not fucking putting butter on like open wounds. Like this is insane. You just, it needs to blister. I guess it just, it blistered. And then the blisters popped on their own. And I just like kept it wrapped with a bandaid. And you loved that the blisters popped. My skin like absorbed. I fucking loved it. You thought that was fun. I loved squeezing it out a little bit. So,

sometimes when I'm on the road with Des, we're like getting ready together. And obviously I have my routine and I put, which is me putting everything all over the place. Now as someone with ADHD, I like burn myself every single day. So like suck it up. But Des accidentally touched it because he was moving it and he didn't know and he didn't deserve that. And then I realized how like women, we have so many like weapons around us and like, well, what?

Well, what made me mad was I'm usually the person being like, watch the straightener. It's on. Like, don't step here. Like, they're curling irons on. Like, I'm very aware of the hot tools. And he's like, why would you put it there? And I'm like, where am I supposed to put it? Yeah, like it's on the counter. Yeah, it's on the counter. So anyway, guys, keep an eye out. No, it's dangerous out there in your own home. Also, I was at a Labor Day weekend party and I was like feeling myself like

But I put on these like nipple pads things. What are those nipple covers that I highly recommend everyone gets? Yep. So they just cover your nipples. But then I just felt like my boobs were just not like hitting the way I wanted them to. So I went to my mom's house because I was in Shelter Island and switched to her bra and just put my nipple things in my Mimeo. Yeah. In the middle of the party, I see my nipple pads on the ground. Like these like.

It's on grass. And it's these like big tan nipple covers.

And I'm like, nobody point this out. Like, how do I pick this up? And then my fucking friend is like, whose nipples are those? And then it was like a family party and I had to lean in. No, I'm dead. And I was like, my nipples. Sorry, guys. Ha ha. And then all the older guys were like, how does it even work? And I'm like, okay, you don't have to get into it. It must have been like stuck to your phone and you like pulled your phone out of your bag or something. A hundred percent. Also, like last week, I left my passport on the plane.

Which is like, that is diabolical. Like that is the worst thing you could possibly do. That's literally. Like, I think I was holding my passport. I put it down. I sat on it. Like I was one of those people in the bathroom where they're like, Hannah Berner, please come to gate 47. And I was like, maybe a giggler is working at the gate and wants to say hi.

I've never been called two things in my life that like I'm like, hmm, interesting. I've never been on a Jumbotron for anything. I've never been on a Jumbotron at any single game, whether it's professional or not. And I just find that. I think it's because you don't go to any games. I mean, I feel like I've been at like a couple enough to like at some point be on a Jumbotron. OK. OK.

Okay, so I've never been on a Jumbotron and I've never had my name on a loudspeaker like anywhere. Even school? No. You're never in trouble? I was never like called. You were never that level of in trouble. See, I feel like my name's always being called, but like in bad ways. And I'm like, mother fucker. So I walk all the way back to the gate and I'm like.

I didn't forget anything. So I'm like, well, these people want, and it's this like adorable gay guy. And he's like, you left your passport, honey. And I was like, I am so embarrassed right now. Let's pretend this never happened. You don't know me. I don't know you. And I turned around and he was dying laughing, but like,

I'm such a fucking idiot. But anyway, it was that flight that I watched challengers. Um, and I guess some people had thought I've watched it before. I haven't. And I want the last, you know, four hours of my fucking life back. I didn't finish it cause the flight wasn't long enough. It's like Lord of the fucking rings. Yeah. It's long. It's bad. It's bad.

Well, it's hard not being on your phone during it. Like I was on my phone for the whole time. But like the writing is bad. And I know some if no, I don't care if people liked it. I have to stick to my guns. Yeah.

You don't care about her. She could have cared so much about this girl who works so hard. Instead, she's just like helping men's dreams come true. One of them was kind of cute, but like, no, not enough. No, it very much. There's something about like artsy movies recently where I'm feeling like they're making the main guys, like the lead guys, very rat like. But dare I say like pubescent? Yeah. Or are we just getting old?

No.

I don't know. No, well, the guy was talking about retiring and I was like, he doesn't, he can't even grow chin hair. And this guy's about to retire. I felt like there was no character development. No character development. In that show. Yeah, so when she's like picking between the guys, you're like, I don't give a fuck. Because I don't know them. I don't know them and I don't know you. So I don't even know if I'm rooting for your happiness or your downfall. Yeah. So it was just super bad. And because my thing is, I'm fine with the tennis being shitty as long as the plot and the characters are really good. Yeah.

but it was bad i love zendaya so much that i'll watch anything she's in yes i just like like her being on my screen like there's just something about like there's a few actresses like that where i'm just like i don't even care if it's bad like i'm gonna watch it that's why the movie was made because they were like zendaya's in it and my final thought because people were like oh good i'm not gonna watch it is i think cuz zendaya's in it watch it but just know it's terrible

yeah so i'm not saying don't watch it i couldn't tell you what it's about yeah no no it's it's real oh it pissed me the oh piss me the fuck off yeah oh god um i could see that i also have been seeing these trends on tiktok have you seen the girls being like me leaving the house knowing men will hate my outfit have you seen those do you know how they make me feel

I'm these girls look fucking adorable. I'm like, you guys have no idea what it's like to wear an outfit that a man actually hates. Like they're wearing something that's like slightly baggy in the shirt. I'm like, I wore jorts. I'm out here wearing jorts. That's what a man will hate. Like I'm wearing my dad's T-shirt and jorts. No, it's the same idea of like those TikToks that are like.

what girls find like attractive or pretty is like very opposite from what guys find attractive or pretty yeah but the girls are putting on outfits that i know that guys are like she looks cute they're like guys are gonna hate this set and i'm like if you're wearing a set a guy will like it yeah i don't think guys like would hate a baggy pant either no no so all those girls don't know it's a cute trend

you don't know what it's like to wear an outfit that a guy will actually hate like i'll show you a fucking outfit like wear a fucking croc wear a croc and then talk to me see you do it in a different way than i do it like sometimes like i know a guy will hate my outfit if it's like so girly but if it's like there's just like a massive bow like across my chest he'll still be attracted to you he'll still be like that's cute

Like, yeah, it's not like you're dressing like, you know, Megan Fox with like a wet T-shirt contest. But like, right. Just because you're wearing something that isn't like that doesn't mean a man's going to hate it. Like, I'll wear some outfits where it does is like you have to change. Like, it's going to be a problem. He's like, you got to try a little bit. This is a nice dinner. Yeah. No, I hate being I hate being in those situations. There's nothing worse than having to get ready when you don't want to go.

Like that's a that's like a modern form of torture when you don't know what you're going to wear, when you just like don't want to go to where you have to get ready for. Yeah. Yeah. And when you don't know what you're going to wear like that and you're like, I don't even want to be doing this in the first place when you don't know what to wear, but you want to go to the function. Very different. That's a high. That is a pressure high that I live for. I'm like, who's she going to be tonight? Yeah. Where it's like, what do I want to dress in while I'm miserable tonight?

I actually was talking to my therapist. Oh, I forgot you're back in therapy. Since the special, I was back in therapy. The special put me back into therapy, which thank God it all worked out. But yeah, we were talking about like, I was like, I wish I wanted to be more social.

and I was like me and my best friend Paige like we joke about it but like I wish I enjoyed things that other people enjoyed like simple stuff and she was like well community is a big part of happiness and I was like send me an article on that that sounds important I'm not gonna read and she's like I'm gonna send you the article and I was like yes and then she I was like I do have a pretty big community it's called Giggly Squad and she's like that's not the same and I was like they're all my best friends

And she was like, no. Human to human interaction. I did say I had a community of fantasy football. And she paused. But that's not in person. She goes, she was like, I don't know what that is. And I was like, I also did. We'd go to the bar and watch the games. But I have multiple times left because I was upset.

Like I didn't let people know I was upset, but like my team's fucking losing. Hannah. So I'd leave. No. I'd leave to do laundry. I'd say I have laundry. I'm not sitting there like watching my team be decimated. Wait, when was this? When was this? I mean. Recently? Like in the past year? In my early 20s, but there's definitely been days last year that my day was low-key ruined because of fantasy football. Wow. I didn't know you were that into it. I can get into anything. Yeah.

So anyway, I told her that and she straight up. That's comforting. She straight up was like, you're an interesting person. She said that to me. So I think I won. Wow. Your hair therapist hitting you with you're an interesting person. I think that could be a compliment, though, too. No, I fully took it as a compliment. Yeah. She was kind of laughing. And then I was like, oh, I think she likes me too much.

Well, here's the thing too, I think. I think that women get like more societal advice than like men do. And I feel like women get like contradictory advice because like I feel like you always hear things of like,

oh, when you have a smaller circle, it's because you're like working harder. You're doing X, Y, and Z. But then it's also like girls are expected to have this like girl group of friends. And like if they don't, like is that a red flag? And I just, I don't know. I feel like me not wanting to go out recently or not even recently, but like me not like wanting to socialize is because like,

You're so busy like you're so busy during the week and it's like I only have a couple hours male friendships are a made-up thing

No, right. And like when men are hanging out, they're not diving into it the way we are. Like I could never go sit with you. Right. Like I could never go sit with you with something looming on my brain and just be like, yeah, dude, like we're probably not going to talk about it today. Like it's all we're gonna fucking talk about it. We're going to look at it from 65 angles. Also, even if something's not looming over your head, we'll find something. Yeah.

Right. We're not leaving this conversation until we figure something out. No, I told you it was like when one of our friends, like he broke up with his girlfriend and we went to dinner, didn't bring it up for till the fucking dessert. And I was like, I don't, this is not what I signed up for. I came here for the gossip. I wanted the drama. Right. Right. But it's funny because with my therapy and I probably shouldn't be talking about this, but I think it might be relatable. Why?

I think I podcast too much because we start talking about stuff and next thing you know, like, I'm riffing. I'm riffing. I'm riffing. I'm riffing. She's laughing. And then she's like, no, talk deeper about that. It just becomes a podcast. Yeah. You're like, hey, are you available every Tuesday? For something totally subreddit, I'll bring... You just show up to your next appointment with microphones. Yeah.

Like, hey, can you send me this file after we're done? No, I also like also part of not wanting to socialize, like certain things don't excite me the way they used to excite me. And it's just I think like getting older. Well, like it used to really excite me to think about going to a club on Saturday night. Yeah. Yeah. Like college for me, I would get excited about that. And that just like doesn't excite me anymore.

I get anxiety over social things. And then once I do it, I'm fine. But it's like the beforehand that I'm like, this is bad. This is going to be bad. I don't want to do this. I'd rather... Like, I feel like I'm... Everything's like taking time out of like my time alone. And I need to lean into like no community is where happiness is. But like... Yeah. Sometimes it's not. That's why we need to live next door to each other. I know. I would rather have, you know...

to five really fucking close people in my life who get me, who I could be myself with, than like a huge group of people who don't give a fuck about me. Well, also you meet friends in different stages of your life. Exactly. Like at some point in our life, like we're going to be going out to dinner with like our kids, friends, parents. Yeah. Like in certain situations. Why did I just get stressed? I was like, do we invite her? No, I actually also just got into, I'm scared.

scared for that. Wait. People don't talk enough about their kids becoming friends with other kids and you hating the parents. I feel like that's what makes the drama of being a parent. Or what if you like the parents but you hate the kid? I feel like there's so much untapped gossip for our future that I'm so excited about. No, the moms, they're not only busy raising children, they're busy dealing with all the...

new friendships of mommydom yeah i love we talk about being a mom so often i mean we both are moms we really are we really are we don't socialize our children though yeah no and we like it that way but also like i'm not to be dramatic but like all i need is you like why do i need two of you

No, that would be too much. A lot of the time, the more people, the more opportunity for messiness. Yes. And also, as you get older, you just care less about shit. Yeah. Also, I don't have a MySpace top eight. Right. I'm a fucking grown up. But it is funny. You know when like you're going to hang out with someone and you're excited and then they're like, oh, I'm bringing so and so. And you're like, and they're always like, you're going to love them. And you're like, oh.

And it just no, I know. No, I know. I literally did that to you this week. I was like, we're going to the US Open and I'm bringing my friend. You were like, wait a minute. And I had to like, no, this is my thing that I've never fucking heard of this friend before. And then it made me feel. No, you have.

Is this the one friend that I always say I've never heard of before? Have I met her? I feel like at some birthday you would have had to. Wait, I think I have. You have. I just you haven't mentioned her in a while. And I just felt I haven't. I felt kind of blindsided. You felt bamboozled. It was in tech. Yeah, it was like, yeah, it's OK, though. It is hard watching your friends have other friends, though. Like you do a lot of videos with other people.

Like you have a whole community of like comedian friends that I'm not really like tapped into, but like I know who they are. How does it make you feel?

It makes me feel like a little bit on the outside, but also here is where like being non-social plays a great part. You're not hanging out with them. So I'm not getting, there's just so much jealousy I can have. I'm like, okay, what is she sending them? A few texts, whatever. She talks to me. It is funny. I feel like me and you would get more jealous if like you started posting with another girl like everywhere and you were like loving her outfits and

And no, I would not. Or like she said something and you started like dying, laughing uncontrollably. And I had to like watch a clip of that. OK, this is a really funny thing that I brought up the other night to Sierra, actually.

I was watching a TikTok and it was like two girls and they were obviously friends and they were like hugging each other in the TikTok and like doing like they were doing like some type of like sexual dance that like went along with some song. And the caption was like about a guy. But like they were like dancing sexually with each other. But it was like clearly a joke. And I was like, I've never been that type of friend. Yeah.

like i've never had a friendship with another female where it was like we hugged all the time and we like like when people talk about like cuddling with their friend yeah could not be i've never even been in the situation where like i'm cuddling with my friend no not to go there but you know how there were always those friends who like in college some guy would be like you

you two should kiss and they like are so excited to kiss i was like absolutely i was so scared i was never that girl i was always like you want me to do what well also i think from a young age i knew i didn't want to ever like bring men too much happiness yeah so i was like if i'm not gonna be into it like but there were always girls who were just so comfortable well i feel like you also always had friends where you were like are they like

like hooking up with each other like I feel like at some point in my life I was like they might be I just felt like I wasn't girly enough and if I was girlier like the girly girls would be like like hanging on each other and like holding each other or whatever and I was kind of like what's up

No. Okay. So see, like I was really girly girl and I wasn't like that, but you know what? Like my best friend growing up was very similar to you. Like she was played sports. Like, so we were very opposite. Yeah. So I don't know. I think I like having a friend that's opposite of me in certain, in like, yeah, because you're fucking sick of yourself. I don't want to talk to myself every day. I have a, I have a hot take.

yeah oh wait this is like if you called me with a legitimate outfit crisis and we're like i need to come over and borrow something i'd be like shut up see you'll all be having a crisis and you'll be like hey let me get you a blazer or something and i'll be like no no no no no and you're like please and i'm like no no no no no and you're like this is going to be really bad and i'm like it's okay i'd rather it be bad then you have to leave your apartment right

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This episode of Giggly Squad is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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First of all, what's going on? First and foremost, what's happening? And secondly, is that English? Because not one person knows one word you just said. The accent went too good.

Charlie XCX and Lorde, people thought they were fighting. And then they wrote a song together being like, I thought you were jealous and I thought that it was because of you. And then I was like mad at you, but you really love me and I loved you, but you should. And I really thought that I did a good impression of it.

And I wanted to do a TikTok with you of it, but then I realized we would fumble it really bad. No, we would fumble that so bad. So were they fighting? It was basically like they both were fighting. Actually, I couldn't understand the song, but they both thought each other hated each other, and they were both kind of jealous of each other a little. Wait, this just made me think of it. Okay. Okay.

First of all, everyone freaking out about like Sabrina Carpenter and like her album and all that stuff. Yeah. For whatever reason, it just did not register in my mind that Olivia Rodrigo, when she became really famous, her songs were about Sabrina Carpenter. The lore. Did you not like register that either? No. Has it been confirmed? No.

Yeah, when she wrote Driver's License and it was like the blonde who's like older than me, it was Sabrina Carpenter that she was singing about. And I was like, that's so interesting because then Sabrina Carpenter made a whole song about

Camila Cabello and how Shawn Mendes got back together with her. And I found this really interesting too. It's always a brunette jealous of a blonde and then a blonde jealous of a brunette. And we put ourselves in a vicious cycle. Like it literally went brunette, blonde, brunette. And this is women on women crime. And we have to grow from this. It's women on women crime. And it's the men to blame. Yeah.

And like how interesting they're all like really great singers. And I could not tell you, I don't even know the guy that Olivia Rodrigo is singing about. Yeah. But Shawn Mendes, is he in a cult? I think something. Instead of singing about a fight we had three years ago, can someone get him out of the cult? Check on him.

No, check on them. They're busy getting, you know, who's number one, two, billboard. Someone save Shawn Mendes. If you really fucking love him so much, someone shoot him a text. We didn't even talk about your best friend giving birth, Hailey Bieber. Wait, we just like...

Because it's kind of like a personal thing. Did you, I did want to know though, did you like send like a message, like congratulations or any type of interaction? Well, it's kind of like holidays with me and you. Like it's too obvious. Like I'm not, I'm not going to say congrats. Like she knows I'm happy for her. She knows me. She knows how I feel about these things. She knows I support her. I don't have to like double down. Her phone probably had so many text messages. Yeah.

um i also don't have her number i love that we've normalized not wishing each other happy a happy holiday it's unnecessary i think if like like imagine if your dude texted you like merry christmas and he's like in the house with you you're like you cheated on me merry christmas no i would be uncomfortable like just shut up i have a really hot take but i'm gonna ask you first who do you think should play britney in the biopic

Because I have the hottest take. Oh my God, I can't wait for your hot take. Who do I think? Honestly, I don't, no one like famous right now is coming to mind. So I'm almost like, I think it should be someone that is on the come up or like Tate McRae. Oh, actually Tate McRae could be great. Can she act? Yeah.

I have no idea. I think she can. She can sing. She can dance. Isn't that like... Yeah. I feel like all the kids can do all of it now. Yeah. The Tate McRae video when she brought up Kid LAROI. Did you see that? No. Who? She's dating Kid LAROI. Who the heck is that? You're such a millennial. Okay. He's actually... I don't fucking know who he is, but he's a singer.

I still don't even know his name. He sings like, girls just want to have fun. Girls just want to dance. Oh, okay, I've heard this song. So her boyfriend cheated on her and now she's with him. Okay. She's with a hockey guy, which, you know, it's a canon event. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then now they were on stage like singing together.

Oh, wow. And it was really cute. I like love... Oh, that gives me like Ariana Grande, Mac Miller vibes. I know. Or like when... And I posted that it's like when me... When Des comes on stage after my show and... Very cute. Makes fun of me and says that he's not as old as I'm trying to make him seem. My hot take...

is one i totally agree someone that we don't know who looks just like her and is supremely talented yeah or chapel roan chapel roan that's so interesting could she act though i feel like she she's going through this like how old is she good question i feel like she's like mid-20s

She's going through an interesting time. Because I thought she was going to be like 22 or 23. She's 26. Oh, okay. And she's going through this time of like basically being like fame is horrible and even I don't like it. Well, I feel like she got so famous so quick. Not like that she hasn't been doing it for years, but it was like all of the sudden one day she performed one place and then it was like it was just childlike.

Chapel Roan forever. It was intense. Yeah. But I feel like because of that kind of drama, it could be interesting to see her in that place. Oh my God. What if they put Ariana? Cause Ariana does a good Britney impression. Ariana Grande. She's blonde. I saw a TikTok about Chapel Roan saying like how she hates being famous and like basically that like she reserves the right to be like rude to fans. Yeah.

Which is just so crazy. But what was even crazier was that I saw a TikTok of a guy that was in, like, a nationwide commercial. And he was talking about how many people come up and ask him for pictures, like, when the commercial was on TV. So he was like, I can't even imagine, like, how Chapel Roan feels. And, like, he was making a valid point. But I was like, get out of here, dude. What?

Wait, is this Jake from State Farm? No. No, I would never speak of Jake from State Farm like that. We love Jake from State Farm. No, I love Jake. We don't understand her level of fame. We don't understand. But like, you just have to change your lifestyle a little bit, which sucks. But it's because you're making so much money. Yeah. Like Taylor Swift was like, oh, I can't go to the nail salon anymore. Okay, would you rather trade being able to go to the nail salon or being a billionaire? Yeah.

I actively found somebody to come and do my nails at my apartment and I'm not a billionaire. So Taylor, don't even start with me. But Taylor wasn't even complaining. She was just like, I do my own nails because I can't go to the nail salon. Just like as a fact. It's just a fact. But it's like, yeah, there's trade-offs. There's 100% trade-offs. And granted, yes. Stalking, not cool. Harassing, not cool. Stalking, 100% not cool. But like, I feel like every famous person deals with that. Like...

Right. I just feel like sometimes I'm just like, OK, if like taking a couple pictures at dinner is like the worst thing to ever happen to you. Like, I think you're OK. Yeah. But also like in moderation and like people like not being weird about it. I mean, I'm sure she gets a ton of weirdos, though. Right. Yeah. But it's like you just look at people in their 20s or not. Yeah. They're not. Yeah. But I also have to say.

I love her shit and she's doing great and I hope that this doesn't make her stop making music. Right. Did you see Adele is taking a break? Adele? She said she's been working for seven years straight to build a life and now she's going to go live that life she's built. I feel like when people announce they're leaving, they always come back. Yeah. Talk about someone who literally...

Revenge was the top thing on her list. Well, she's been at touring nonstop, which is going to be us soon. No, I can't believe it. I literally, I need to buckle down and take my vitamins. What vitamins are you taking? Like what's in right now? I don't even know what I'm taking, honestly. Sprinkle some meth. It's so hard to keep a regimen, but I really try.

I know. If you could take your supplements, even if they're not working, it gives like a weird placebo. I've been putting like a vitamin C packet in my Stanley's every morning. Like my Symbiotica. Like, yeah. And I'm like, okay, that's at least going to do something. Yeah. It has said equivalent to 10 oranges. So I was like, okay. I met Eliza Schlesinger. No way. When I went to this outdoor festival, it's called outdoors something. I didn't realize it was actually outdoors. Yeah.

Like I thought it was just outdoorsy because it was in Canada and I showed up. But you were in like an amphitheater. Yeah, like fully like trees outdoors. And I said, are we? Wait, I didn't know it was outdoors. Yeah. And then at the end, I was featuring for her. So I had to announce her and I go, oh, my God. So it was like, shout out to Liza Schlesinger. Like, I love her so much. She's about to burn this forest to the ground. Hannah Burner. Hannah Burner.

You made a forest fire joke in Canada? People were like, and then I started dying laughing. And I was like, oh, is that too much? The gigglers are messaging me because not everyone was a giggler there. The gigglers were like, oh, my God, you made a joke about burning the farm. That's one of the craziest things I think I've ever heard someone do.

That is what I wanted to say. Like, she's about to like bring the house down, but we weren't in a house. So I was like, she's going to light this shit up. She's going to start a small forest fire that could be hard to tame. Yeah. No, that's insane. How was it, though? Well, it was fun because she asked me to go to her hotel room before to like get ready with her.

Oh my god I was like so nervous Cause she's has She's done so many specials She's so iconic And like Yeah All I want is respect From other female comedians Like that's That's when I get like weird I'm like Yeah I walk in And I'm wearing like a

it's like being a freshman in high school literally i felt like an eighth grader and i'm meeting the senior and she's like smoking a cigarette and she's like yeah you want to learn the biz yeah i walked in she was so fucking nice so normal like she could have literally punched me in the face and i've been like i love you eliza yeah but she was wearing like leggings and a t-shirt

And I came in with like a skirt and like a good American off the shoulder thing in my boots. And she was like, oh, my God, you're dressed so nice. And I was like, first of all, no one's ever told me that. Second of all, I'm used to being the one that dresses like trash. This is crazy. And she's like, I only dress up when I shoot my special. Stop.

I I dress in like just loungewear like pajamas for the rest of it and I was like that's iconic Paige would be did you tell her you were so stressed picking your special outfit oh we talked about that it's like it was a whole thing but then she goes or maybe I brought it up someone brought it up they're like wouldn't be funny if we switched outfits right now and I was like that's we were like filming like it was just us alone in the room like wouldn't be crazy and we still

I thought I knew where this story was going, but I'm actually at a crossroads and I'm fully unclear. Filming for what? We were filming a Get Ready With Me video. Who suggested? I think I did. Oh, because in my head it's like some creepy guy being like, this would be cool if you guys switch clothes on camera.

But basically, I was telling her, I was like, you would look so cute in like these high boots and like off the shoulder. And she, we decided we should switch clothes. And I thought that was going to be so funny and cute. I didn't realize I'm a sweaty, disgusting pig. No, you're a sweaty, disgusting pig. And I was outdoors getting to her. And then, you know, I get nervous when I talk to people. So I'm like, I'm full sweat mode. And I take it off and I give it to her. And she's like, this is soaking wet.

No, Hannah, Lucy. And I was like, I'm so sorry. We don't have to do this. And she was like, no, we're doing this. And I'm like, no, no, no. Like, I didn't realize I was, you know, you don't know you're sweaty until you take it off. And you're like, that's like soaked, like dripping. And she was like, no, we're doing it. And I'm like, Eliza, no, please don't do this. She puts it on. She's like, this is disgusting. And I was, and I'm literally like, I just feel like,

Like, I feel like it was a bonding for us, but I also feel like she didn't deserve that. And I didn't, I shouldn't have put her through that kind of. As someone who's probably interacted with your sweat, I would say probably second to your husband, but I don't even know because I've been sweated on. I've like stuck my foot in things that like your foot's been in. Like I fully also have like put your clothes on. So like,

It's a weird position to be in, you know, so I feel for Eliza. And then she looked at me because I was wearing her clothes. I'm wearing her leggings. Wait, here's one thing I will say. And I think this is really important for as much as we talk about you, how much you sweat. Never once in my life have I been like, Hannah, you smell bad.

You don't smell. People don't talk about that enough. I literally have no smell. People don't talk about that enough because it's actually adds to the lore of your sweat. Because I'm like, what is it though? Because like, it's not your typical like, oh my God, like she's sweating so much. She just like worked out. She has like BO, like you don't smell. So it, it almost like takes you off.

guard that you've even sweat so much because I like I haven't smelled the thing it's Aquafina it's Aquafina coming out of my pores no it's insane but you're so right I don't smell and I don't people don't talk about that ever like no one knows it

And it's very important. Like you sweating is very intimate and personal with you. It doesn't involve other people. No. Unless they're trying to take your clothes. But I'm standing there and I'm wearing her leggings and she's like, oh no, are you going to sweat in my leggings? And like, I can't control my pussy sweat. So I'm like, cause I do sweat in my creases, like in my thigh creases. Yeah. It's bad. So I was like, I need to get this off me immediately because it's one thing for me.

I just I don't want to hurt. I don't want to hurt her. So now you're nervous, sweating, obviously. So I take it off and then we're like, everything's OK. But it was one of those girlhood moments where like we did kind of bond, which was nice. Yeah. And then I got to perform and I introduced her and it just was like very fun and cool. And even though I was really upset about challengers, like seeing her made me feel a lot better.

I hope Zendaya didn't see your rant about Challengers. I ended my rant saying, watch it for Zendaya. Do not approve of the script. Do not approve of the characters. Do not approve of the writing, the producing. Like techno music the whole time.

I just couldn't follow. Because there was nothing to follow. There was nothing to follow. And there was really no big... I kept waiting, I think, for some big epic sex scene. I think the movie on Amazon, what was it? The one that...

Sabrina's ex-boyfriend was in. Oh. The one Jacob Elordi was in. Yeah. Salt Burn. Salt Burn. Which I love. I was expecting it to like turn to some crazy sex scene like a la Salt Burn. Like, I don't know. I just thought it was going to have that vibe. And it wasn't. And I...

Also, something is to be said about movies thinking they're so artsy. No, but like... Like you can't be too artsy. Yeah, you know those movies that they're like, they don't give a fuck if we know what the plot is. Like this is their own like cultural experiment. And I'm like, don't use me as a guinea pig in your fucking weird art project. Yeah, and it's like your movies too, like minimalist. I don't even know what their names are. The point of movies is to feel something. And if all I'm seeing is like weird shit that confuses me, it's like...

No, thank you. But that's so funny because I when they started their like kissing scenes, I'm like sitting next to a dude. So I'm like, oh, my God, I hope there's no like P in the V because like that's so awkward. I'm like watching porn next to a stranger. It's so awkward when that happens on a plane. I watch like the Frida movie and like her boobs are out and I just I don't want to stop watching. But I'm also like, this is too much.

But I always like skip. I'm like, I can't. What if like someone's behind me and it's like a trial? Yeah. But they never got to any fun, crazy fucking scenes. And then they kept changing the timeline. And the only way you'd know she was younger was from like how long her hair was. Yes. Yes.

That was so fucking stupid. Yeah, I hate when movies switch back and forth because it's, like, a different time and they don't tell you and it's like, okay, I didn't sign up for this. I don't need the, like, switching back in time stuff. And also, let's be honest, I was into storying the whole time. Rage into storying. Mm-hmm.

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Something I do think people should watch. There's a documentary out called Gary on Peacock.

Oh. About Gary Coleman. No way. Did you watch it? I knew nothing about Gary Coleman. Who knows anything about Gary Coleman? What was the name of that show again? What was the name of the show? Flying Colors or something? Let me see. This was before our time, guys. Yeah. Gary Coleman. Different Strokes. Different Strokes. Different Strokes. So he basically was like a cute...

genius hysterical amazing and but he did have some problems with like his kidney so he was like sick all the time and he ended up having that like kind of stunted growth but he was the biggest fucking star from 1978 to 1986 and

In different strokes. And then his life got fucking crazy. Like his people stealing his money, like huge beef with his parents and falling in love with people who were just using him. And they're interviewing everyone. So you kind of like don't know whose side to take. And then he dies. And it's like a little mysterious how he died. He apparently fell at home with his wife. I know. No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know. I don't like that. I know. And there's yeah, it's just a very well done documentary. Being famous as a kid is fucked up. No, I couldn't imagine it. I truly, truly couldn't imagine it. But I understand why people say that when you get famous, things stop because like you actually stop living life.

You just become a character. You don't like, you're not like learning who you are. You literally just become a brand. How old was he when he died?

I think in his 40s, he basically lived. Oh, my God. I didn't realize he was that young. 42. But they said they didn't know if he was even going to like live past like 12 because of his diseases. But he he was a very, very interesting guy. And like, how long is the documentary? I think like an hour 30.

Oh, okay. So it's not like multiple parts. No, it was just a peacock thing about Garrett and he was so cute and smart and funny. Did you watch the Netflix document, like the worst X or something? I haven't watched it sometimes. Okay. Cause I don't click on documentaries cause I'm like, oh, Hannah might watch this.

You're like, I could save seven hours. I'm like, she'll just tell me. I like when they do the ones like crazy exes or like roommates, like they're good, but it takes me more to like get into it because it just seems like there's so many different stories. You like one. Yeah. You like one big story where the characters are all the same and they're like investigating. I'm obsessed with people's like huge downfalls. And then I'm obsessed with people's huge rising ups.

Yes. And it could be murder. It could be like a real roller. I want a fucking story. But I do think for manifesting like I will watch the Taylor Swift documentary. I'll just put it on sometimes as my comfort thing. Yeah. There's something about it that is like I just like you in like the mood. I'm in the mood to be like, let's take over the world. And I'm going to manifest with watching Taylor Swift's documentary. I've been journaling.

Oh, you're not okay. That's next level. That's next level. Who told you you have to journal? Because no one does it on their own. No one's like, I'm going to journal. Who told you to journal? I just found my brain to feel like...

feeling very messy. Okay. And I felt like it was going to like calm certain, like I've sometimes find it hard to compartmentalize certain things. Like I'll be like thinking about something all day that like doesn't really matter that I don't need to be thinking about all day. Yeah.

And I felt like journaling... Helps you process the emotion. Yeah, helps me process certain things and then like compartmentalize things. Or it also helps you like... And I'm very into... This might sound like a little bit woo-woo and like... But when I want to manifest something, I find it really important to be like so grateful of my life. So like when I'm journaling, also I like to write out like things that I love about my life.

And I think that helps me manifest things. Gratefulness is super important. One of my friends was saying he was dating a girl who she would text him every morning 10 things she was grateful for. Okay, that's... And he broke up with her. Insane. Yeah. He broke up with her.

But I do. I was like, wait, that's so fucking sweet, though. If that happened to me in real life, like if I rolled over every day and my partner told me 10 things they were grateful for, I would shoot them in the face. Wait, it's OK. Gun violence.

um i didn't say with what like it could be like a literal nerf gun you would but like i would be so i would be so fucking angry you would bedazzle your gun like sidekicks in the 2000s yeah i'd have a juicy couture gun wait but the gratefulness makes so much sense because if you think of your life in scarcity where you're like i don't have anything i'm not happy i need this and you're forcing stuff

That's not when things come to you. That's like dating. That's like in meetings. But when you're grateful, you have this like overwhelming, like everything is available to me. Everything is possible. I have everything. I don't need anything. And things just start falling in your lap of the abundance. You just have an abundance. No, I really believe in that.

To quote the great Serena Williams, she actually said something that like really hit home to me because she was Coco Gauff was playing and Coco was having a lot of trouble with her forehand, which I've had trouble with in the past. Can we talk about Naomi Osaka's outfit? Outfit? What do you think? I love the bow. Like I love the bows. I just think it's so cute. Some of them I'm like, I feel like that's hard to play in. I mean, she's in full tutus. I'm like, I,

I feel like that might be, she's got to be hot. She's doing what Serena would do where like you'd watch Serena and you're like, there's no way she's comfortable in that. Or like she probably would have won that match if she didn't have like denim on. She's got crinoline under her skirt. Like, I mean, it's insane. But it's so good for the game of tennis. And like, honestly, the reason why you would have loved tennis is you realize every tournament you could wear whatever you want.

No, like there's no jerseys. You literally I would pick like us and it's all set. So like a Reebok set or like, yeah, Nike set or a dress. I will have like a small unpopular opinion. I'm rarely impressed by the female tennis outfits. Like I don't get why like Chanel hasn't like done a full exclusive line for like one tennis outfit.

No, you're right. Like, I don't get it. I think Wilson is doing good stuff. I think FP movement is doing good stuff, but these are all like, why isn't Tory Burch in there? Like whipping some things out. Tory Burch sport. I want to see more because they're so good. You're so fucking right. I think what happens is like Nike and Adidas dominate and they're

They kind of have their stuff, but occasionally the top girls like Sharapova would do this. She'd be like, I want to design my own dress for Roland Garros. And she would sit down with the designer. That's what Serena would do, which is really cool. Yeah. So I do, but I do like what Naomi's doing. It's like fun and cool. No, it's, it's fun. And I feel like the U S open is like,

a easy one to do that at because it's not as like uptight and fancy as like Wimbledon. You know, it's so cunty too. They have different dresses for their day and their night matches. Yeah. So if they're in the day, they wear the lighter color like white and at night they wear their like black sparkly whatever outfit. Yeah. No, I think that's like half the fun because sometimes I'm like the men's outfits look better.

Like sometimes the men look like more put together. Well, I guess some of the girls, they really, their outfit is really not something they're prioritizing. They're trying to win the match and they want to be comfortable. But also it's like, there are designers that could lean in more. Um, yeah. And make them comfy. But Serena's quote was, they were like, do you think Coco should change her forehand? Da da da. And Serena's the greatest of all time. So I'm like listening, like, what is she going to say? And Serena goes, um,

everyone hits the forehand differently everyone goes about their life differently but the one thing you need to have is confidence she's like i don't care how she's hitting it hit it with a belief in yourself and that and not to go all sports mode but like the relationship you have with like tennis is similar to your relationship with life and it's so true where so many times you're like am i doing this right does this look perfect is this perfect am i going about the right way

Just fucking do it with confidence. Right. And you're so ahead of the pack. Right. And that's where like delusion comes in.

You know what I feel like used to give me a lot of confidence in my early 20s? And this is, like, so random. But I used to go to, like, so many workout classes. And I used to get so insecure about, like, other people watching you in the workout class. Yeah. And then I realized that every other person is also worried about that. Yeah. So they're not even taking the time to watch you because they think you're watching them. Yeah. And that, like...

Like twist Gave me like more confidence I was like no one's even watching me Like they're worried about themselves I went to yoga class recently A hip hop yoga class And this girl next to me was like

She was, like, grunting. And then she was, like, doing, like, weird extra stuff. Like, she was just, like, going off on her own, doing her weird stuff. And I was like, that girl's awesome. Like, back in the day... That girl has so much confidence. Literally. Like, she was, like, grunting and big breaths. And maybe back in the day, you'd be like, why is she doing that? I was like, that girl doesn't give a fuck. And I want to be her friend. No, she's getting her $25 worth out of this freaking class. I literally was like, she's an icon. And, like...

she's probably really successful is like what I thought. Like she does her and doesn't give a fuck. And Serena is so right. Like we're all imperfect, but like do stuff with confidence. Not to bring it full circle, but I think that's also why we don't care about like socializing anymore because you get to an age where you're like, I don't need to go out to talk. What are we going to, I'm not going to talk about myself. Like I don't need to impress you.

So it's like, I'm just going to stay home. I also think we bond because we have like, we do have similar mental illness. I agree. And we, we tell people like, oh, we're best friends because we have the same sense of humor, which means say mental illness. Sorry, our depression and anxiety line up perfectly. Our demons fucking love each other. Right before we end, I also have one other hot take. Cookie dough.

Like from where there's like chocolate chip croissants going around. The French are laughing right in our face. I'm saying no. I'm saying we've gone too far. Let's stop. People are dying. I would try it.

But to me, I'm not seeing how it would be a croissant. Like, how are they making it flaky? It's like flaky around. I just don't. We don't need it. We don't need it. And like people are going to die from it. No, we don't need it. It's too much. It's excessive. And I don't think it's fun. I know I'm really getting old when I'm like, that should be banned. Yeah.

And like that is so bad for you that should literally be banned. Like that has red dye 40 bannet. Like I never thought I would be that person. And I'm like, I love candy and I love sugar. And I'm like,

Ban it. No, it just it makes me upset because like then where is happiness? If you can put all your favorite things together into one thing, it's like, what is life? Like, let me chase something. Let me try to find something. Don't just give me fucking cookie dough croissants on a platter. I don't know how to process it. I don't like it. Daphne's being so cute, by the way. No, she's being so cute. We're on Zoom and she's just like loving hanging, hanging, hearing your voice. She just jumped down.

She doesn't like being talked about. So this weekend, I know she knew I was talking about her and she's like, don't monetize me. She's like, keep my name out of your mouth. 1-800-TRY-ME. Oh yeah, we launched the merch. Finally. Finally. Finally, we have new merch. And we also launched a tie.

which was the tie went crazy my idea and then the bow is so cute the bow is adorable it's so cute we brought back voice rest so anyway if you missed the merch drop we've dropped merch we haven't dropped merch for a long time because we were dealing with some admin stuff but now we're back on track and then this weekend do you know where we're going yep we're going downtown we're going to charlotte north carolina charlotte durham atlanta charleston

I'm so excited to see the gigglers. Any advice for them? Just like come ready to giggle.

I can't wait to see everyone's outfits. Get ready to fuck around and find out. I can't wait to see everyone's outfits. The show's completely different. It's our version of socializing when you hate socializing. No, that's the only socializing I want to do with my community. My community. Tell your therapist about this. Yeah. I was like, how dare you? How dare you talk about giggly spelt like that? We're about to socialize all weekend. No, it's going to be fucking crazy. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling and we'll talk to you later.