Giggling about face tattoos, cheating husbands, and quitting your job
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I mean, the day just got away from me. Hello, my loves. Now all the gigglers DM me starting with my love and like... My love. It feels good. You're like, it's kind of me and Hailey's thing, but like I'll let it slide. So I have to let you guys know, and I totally forgot about this. Hailey messaged me back.

no way hannah i see okay i love being your friend but like sometimes i hate having a podcast with you because every you tell everybody else things and then you save it until the pod to tell me and like it's a little frustrating it's what makes the pod i know i know i literally will not tell page anything until the day of what when and what did she say um okay she sent two messages oh my god she double messaged you she wrote

Hey, I really appreciate it. Exclamation mark. You're friends with Hailey Bieber. She said, honestly, no drama, comma. I do understand the interest because there's been a lot of drama surrounding Hillsong. And she's like, but I don't want to be associated with that church. And that was a wild conspiracy. And I'm sure you can understand why. And so she like kind of explained it like, girl, I get you. And she's like, no, like we're like having an in-depth analysis. This is where you're going to lose it. This is where like, I don't know what to do.

She goes, anyways, Dash, you're a queen and I really appreciate you. Heart. Wait. Wait. Don't make eye contact with me. Don't make eye contact with me anymore. Like, literally, where do I go from here? What color heart? What color heart?

what color heart it's the cool red one yeah you're friends with hayley b-bear okay well i have to like plan hypothetical outfits in case like she's in the city and like you're hanging out there and i just show up like what what i told des and des was like so like if you guys are friends like what is it like what did what did famous people like that famous do like what do you do and i'm like no no no no

We're playing the long game. Yes. We're playing the long game. Because you know when you see two people hang out, I think it takes one person that's like a little good at like networking and being thirsty. We're like... For sure. I don't even do cocaine. Like what am I going to do? Literally nothing. No, I totally agree with that because when I first moved to New York City, like...

My first friend in the city could not have been more opposite of me. And like, she's the one who like got us into clubs because like if I'm going up to a club and they say back of the line, I'm going to the back of the line. Like it's not, I'm scooting. Yeah. It's not my personality to be like, I belong in here. I'm awkward moonwalking. Like, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. Oh my God. You know what it is? It's cause I actually, I don't really love rejection. I feel like some people will just like,

shamelessly put themselves out there to like do stuff and it's like a numbers game and occasionally someone who's like really popular will hang out with you but like I want like a long term deep meaningful friendship with Hales. Someone sent me a photo of her, Justin and the dog and they were like you should be in this photo. I'm

Dying. Like, I want to be there for her when she needs me, like, when she's going through a hard time. Like, I want to be that friend for her. And if she wants to, like, get dinner and talk about it in person, if she wants to talk about, like, how good my TikToks are, like, I'm there for her. Right. And I feel bad. Like, I almost was at the point where I'm like, do I not tell, like, Paige? Because, like, it's kind of private between me and my friend. You know, like, I don't tell you the details of, like, me and Sierra's chats. First of all, fuck you. Second of all...

How dare you? She also did DM me. She's like, what's the deal with Paige's outfits? Like, is she like trying to be fashionable? Because it's embarrassing. I am logging off. The podcast is over. Giggly Squad has broken up. The rumors are true. I can't believe your hair is not in like a slick back bun right now. I feel like you, Hailey, when you have a slick back bun, you're like so confident, gorgeous, like shining. I feel like I would look like an egg. Yeah.

Well, you have cute little ears that poke out a little. Okay, that was bullying. Did anyone see that? No, I wasn't. I've literally... I don't know what's come over me, but I've just been like so much more honest with people lately. And I don't even mean to be like...

things will just come out of my mouth. And there have been a few times that I've like in the past couple of weeks that I've like deeply insulted Sierra. And she's just looked at me and been like, you can't like say that to people. This is the thing. This is good for you. It means you're breaking through some filters. So now you're going to lose some friends for sure. Some people, I don't care, but you're going to like have closer friends. If I don't,

As a friend, here's how I feel. If I am your friend and something's fucked up, if I don't tell you, who's going to tell you? And I would want you to tell me like, hey, Paige, your eyebrows look so bad. Like you have to fix them. Because if you don't tell me, who's going to?

I do have to say there is a specific type of friend that I want to call out that I don't think the Googlers are. Paige and I joke about being low-maintenance friends, but you know those friends who like...

they'll call you and you know they can be mad about at you about like anything but you don't know what it is you're like did i say bye with the wrong tone like yeah certain friends that they just love to start drama but really they're just like making shit about them yeah and like if they want to be mad at you they'll come up with some shit they kind of they want to take space up in your brain with something like very insignificant but they want you to be thinking about them true it's almost like

They're like almost testing you because sometimes I'll like apologize for like whatever little thing that upset them. And then they're like so nice to me and closer to me. And I'm like, oh, you're trying to push me away. And I stuck. Or it's like they want to have something insignificant with you that it's like...

An event in your daily life And then feel like you got over something So like you guys are closer But it's like we didn't really get over anything You're just being annoying No, because that pushes me away Then I'm like, okay, now I have to walk on eggshells Because I didn't hug you goodbye

No, I can't. Wait, who's your friend that came to your wedding? Oh, Talia. Talia. Okay, Talia just did a TikTok and she was saying how her friends don't like her texting the way she texts.

And like if she says one, like if she just says K back, they're like, wait, what the fuck's wrong with you? And she's like, I can't have friends. Like I need to be able to talk normal to you and not talk to you like I'm talking to people that I email. She was like one of her friends texted her and was like, let's get dinner. And she said, K. And then they told her the time and place. And she said, K. And they were like, what's wrong with you? And she's like, would you rather me be like, thank you so much. I will see you at dinner soon. Like, come.

Mama, can't wait to chat. Like, no. Like, when it's your friends, I have to be able to just, like, not respond. It's literally just like a guy. Like, if I have to think about what I'm going to text you and how, you're done. You're done. You're fucking done. You're done. Actually, Talia is a great example of a friend who I love because... Okay, I want your opinion on this. Okay. Once...

She messaged me. Together, we mutually were like, we need to get brunch. We need to get brunch. Let's do it. And we set a date like a week away. Okay. A week away. Yeah. She's like, let's say September 22nd. Okay. So fast forward, you know I don't know what I'm doing day to day. Right. So I get a text from her saying five minutes away. And for whatever reason, I'm in West Hampton that day. I don't know what happened to my schedule, but I'm in West Hampton and I forgot.

And I text her and I am like, I fucked up. I am so sorry. I'm in West Hampton. You're in New York City. I totally blanked on our date. I'm so sorry. And she was like, it's okay. It's okay. Like, I'm laughing. I literally live five minutes away. I'm going back home. It's totally fine. But then I go, what kind of freak? What kind of text me that day to double check? Are we still on? So then I completely fucked.

it on her and I said are you good bro yeah don't even double check if we're gonna meet up and you start walking when this was a plan made over a week ago if you're not confirming 24 hours before I'm

I'm not going. I already canceled that. I erased that from my timeline and like erase that from my account. Like I'm not going to that. It was like a two o'clock thing and I didn't hear from her in the beginning of the day. And then she goes, I'm here. I go, honey, you deserve this. You deserve this pain. You did this to yourself. I need at least three. I need a morning.

a mid a mid morning and an afternoon check before we go and physically get out of our beds a perfect example is this weekend sierra and i were supposed to go to hannah's on sunday to celebrate her birthday the night before i said sierra i i can't go to hannah's tomorrow i have to go home and die on my couch and you texted me what my address was because i was very much planning on coming

And so we're laying in bed and she's like, we can't do that. Like, it's Hannah's birthday. We haven't seen her in so long. That's so mean. And then two seconds later, silence. Then two seconds later, we look at each other and we're like, it's fucking Hannah. Like, she doesn't give a flying fuck. And I'm just like, hey, Hannah, we're not coming. See you in the city. So I was talking to Des and I was like, they like want to visit. And he's like, really? And I'm like, hey, they want to come all the way to Shelter Island. And he's like, why this weekend? And I'm like, I don't know.

I forgot it was my birthday. I go, I don't know. Like, I don't know. Maybe like it's just towards the end of summer. I go, I honestly don't know. And it's like low key freaking me out. Like, it's weird. Like, I'm afraid they need to like tell me something. Like, I'm in trouble. Were you so relieved when you got that text on Sunday? Like, hey, we're not coming. Okay. So the day before, I'm like with family and my mom is a planner. And she's like, what's the plan? What's the plan for tomorrow? And I'm like, parents here said they're coming, but I'm like 90% they're not coming.

You have to ask. I swear to God, I go, I know my friends and I love them deeply and they are not coming tomorrow. I'll never see them here. But when you text me for the address, I was like, wow, she's pushing it. She is putting on a whole fucking act. You know,

And then the next day, I'm like jet lagged from LA. That was basically 7 a.m. By the way, I will say I'm jet lagged for like the next month just as an excuse to sleep more. Yeah, that's fine. And then you guys text me, we can't come. And I was like, thank God. I was not going to be fun. I was tired. I knew when...

When I sent the text, I was like, this bitch is going to be like, oh, we're better. It's better off. The thought of you saying we're going to come visit was enough. Like that was so nice of you guys. I was like, that is so sweet that they thought of possibly visiting me. The actual hang, we don't need.

The fact that you guys even wanted to for a millisecond warms my fucking heart and you are too good to me. The bar for like friendships that we care about in the ground. In the ground. Could you imagine being in a friendship though where like I said that to you and then you were legitimately pissed that like we didn't come? Oh no. But with that said, I had a fucking crazy week because I was in LA. Then...

Portland then Seattle PTSD in the airport that I left my laptop right and then flew on my birthday sick at 5 20 a.m all the way oh I was wondering why you were up so early yeah and like everyone I missed every phone call for my birthday yeah it didn't even show on my phone so I was just like honestly it was okay 31 is I called irrelevant did you call did I

I don't know. You'll never know. Sierra did FaceTime me. I FaceTimed, but then I was like, oh, she's on a plane. Yeah, yeah. Well, I appreciate you. Thank you. Wait, first, let's just say that there's a cat living in my home right now. Okay, and what did you say when we got on the Zoom? I said there's a cat in the house.

Didn't you say something along the lines of like you liked the lifestyle? There's so many things. Okay, I've never babysat. I've never babysat anything in my life, but I've never babysat a cat before. And Sierra had to travel this week and I said, hey, I'll take Jasper and let's like really see if I can do this thing. So I am thinking...

In my head, like, I know that he's not going to be, like, all up in my grill from, like, the jump. Like, I know that you guys have said, like, you have to kind of work toward it. I don't even know where this cat is. Yeah.

I have no idea where this fucking cat even is. When cats are in a new environment, they like to find, like, a tiny space to, like, get their scent around and feel comfortable. And then they'll slowly, like, branch out with confidence. Does Jasper like you, though? Like, off the bat, does he tolerate you? Yes. Yes, he does like me. He has, like, pushed his head against my arm and licked my hand. And he, like, sniffed around where I put his food. Mm-hmm.

I'm going to tell you one weird thing now that he did. Oh, I, I actually don't even know if I should say this. He licked your pussy? No. Okay. I was like picking up my room because I was like, I want to like not have anything out that like, I don't know what could happen. Not that like, I think he's going to knock anything over, but like, I just want it to be a clean space for him so that he can like roam. Oh my God. You're such a cute mom. My vibrator was on my bedside.

was on my bedside table. And so like I'm putting clothes away in my closet or in my bedroom. And I like pick the cat up off the floor and I'm like hugging it, squeezing it to death. And I put it down on my bed and he's like sniffing around my bed and he goes up to my bedside table and he sniffs my vibrator. Immediately his head is on a swivel and he looks right at me. And I was like,

Like, am I in trouble? But it was like he knew that that was my scent and he looked at me like, you fucking whore. Get out of here. So you got slut shamed by a cat? Yes! I was like, I'm literally in a way. Like, oh my god. Don't judge me like that. Okay, this is something really gross but something I love about butter and I don't know how I realized this but like,

butter doesn't care about food she doesn't care about any normal food i could have like a pizza on the table she won't go near it yeah i could like have something like butter on my fingers and she won't lick it okay but if i put my finger in my ear and there's like a little wax and i put my finger out she will lick my finger that is vile that is so fucking vile i don't know she just wants to eat my insides

No, but it is true. Cats are cats. There is something going on with cats. There's something going on. And I realize another reason why I'm in therapy. That should be a weekly segment. And another reason why I realized I'm in therapy.

Because I like get into it with dog people. Like I really want to understand what's going on. And I like I like dogs, but I want to understand why they like love dogs so much and hate cats. And they're like, my dog loves me regardless. Like I can murder a whole family and my dog will love me. It's unconditional love.

And like, I don't, it's like the dude that's fucked every girl in the school trying to fuck you. I'm like, it doesn't help my ego. That doesn't make me feel good. Right. I want the guy. That, no. I don't mean to make it sexual, but like the guy who like no one can get his attention. Yep. And then I walk in and I say something funny.

And then next thing you know, he like warms up to me and he's obsessed with me. And that's why like with I want to earn love. I don't think I deserve unconditional love. I want to earn love. That's a bigger conversation. Yeah, that is. That is. That's a key. That's good that you're in therapy talking about that.

Because that is concerning. But I do have to say, like, I do all these bits of stand up where, like, imagine if your boyfriend, whenever they met a new girl, like, was all over her, licking her so happy. And you're like, he just loves people. Like, absolutely not. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I have no tolerance.

Like some dogs, I'll meet a dog and I'll be like, I could take this dog with me. And this dog would not even think about its owners. No, not even think about it. We're like butter would literally she would riot. She was taken away. She would literally jump out the window. Stop eating until she finds me again. You know, it's so crazy. Like you were just living your life one day without a care in the world. And then, bam, you're an aunt and you have to take care of a life.

And that's what I'm experiencing right now. Do you feel like there's moments in the day where, like, you'll look over at him or you'll consider him and it makes you get out of your own head for a little? Yes, that. And also, I like seeing him walk around my living room because I, like, instantly feel like my apartment is richer. I'm like, you vibe in this aesthetic. He knows he vibes in it. Also, I do have to say, Jasper's, Sierra's cat Jasper is handsome. Stunning.

Model-esque. Gorgeous. And also if you watch how they walk, it's very swanky. It's very swanky. And then whenever they stop, they pose. They always put their tail in a way. They're classy. They know that they're better than the majority of the population. And I need that energy around me. I'm so excited for the updates on Adventures with Jasper. How long are you watching him? Until Thursday. Oh my gosh.

Oh my God. Yeah. So we have three whole nights together. And you know, I love this for you because I was a little nervy about just like throwing a cat in your apartment and being like, figure it out. Like this is such a good training wheel for you. This is what's going to happen when I give that cat back Thursday. I'm either going to be like, Oh my God. Yes. Take it. Or I'm going to be like, I have to go buy a cat right now. I'm hoping that tonight when you're on your Netflix show,

that he cuddles up with you. I know. I'm really hoping to. But you can't force it. I know. Cats are crazy sometimes. You have to, like, not look at them. Like, you have to play hard to get with him. You can't be too obsessed with him or he's literally going to get the ick from you. I'm like, wait, how...

My one thought And I was like Paige you're sick You're like I'm like how would I Try and date myself Like that was my thought I'm like okay So I'm just gonna ignore That he's been in here All day Because he's obviously Going through something And he needs to like Be comfortable I was like I'm just gonna ignore it Go about my day Not annoy him Don't like any of his photos On Instagram No Even talk shit about him To your friends Like

I will keep everyone updated on the cat situation. But when I get a cat, hard launching. That is so exciting. Oh, my God. Also, I heard an insane conversation on the LIRR recently. Okay. The LIRR, for people who don't know, is where people who don't drive or don't have a car take a train out to the Hamptons. The Long Island Railroad runs from New York City to...

All the way to Montauk. And it's, I'm going to say it's ratchet. People are getting drunk on it. It's crazy. It's wild. And I'm on it. Yep. And I heard a wild conversation in front of me. Between? I always, I'm like, because it's a two hour train ride. So I'm always like, please, please, please give me a good seat. Like not next to like frat bros. Not like some girl like yelling at her boyfriend. Give me a good seat that I could just like sit there in peace.

The girl in front of me immediately starts playing Beyonce. Now, I had mixed feelings about it. On speakerphone? It was the new album, so it was good. It was good. But at some point, I'm like, are we blasting this the whole time? And finally, the guy who works there comes and he's like, hey, you can't have a beatbox. You have to turn this off. Put your boombox away. Yeah, exactly. The boombox. What are you doing? Okay, sorry. And he walks away and then she puts it on again.

Like, naughty. And we're all kind of sitting around her and like, it's L.A. double R. Like, this isn't a library. Like, I'm not going to yell at her. I'm not that girl. Insubordination gives us anxiety. Yes. Yes. Oh, my God. To have a conversation with a stranger. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But that's where New York comes in because, you know, there's another person having a worse day than you who will say something. So anyway, the guy comes back, actually, and he's like, you can't. You have to turn it down. And then a guy next to me goes, what?

She's not turning it down And she kind of sees that like other people are mad So she finally turns it off And I thought that was that I thought that was it How old is this girl? How old is she? I'm going to say she's like Late 20s Like she's seen some shit She's been through some shit She was wearing like a weirdly revealing outfit I also was on the phone like whispering And she kept kind of like turning and looking at me Like it was just strange Vibes were off

Yeah, she was giving like main character energy. Yeah, this bitch was gonna do something.

She was giving like, I wish someone would. Like, I want someone to. Yeah, like she was ready to. To annihilate anyone at a moment's notice. Yeah, she was like pushing the storyline ahead, if you know what I mean. Got it. Like I was in the background and she was. Full force. So then I hear this guy come to the, she was at the front in front of me. And this guy has like a sexy voice. And I hear him say like, can I use the charger by you?

And she immediately, like, her voice gets into, like, higher register. And she's like, yes, of course. Yes. And they're, like, having a stranger chat.

And like, I hate it, but I can't stop listening. Like, yeah, we're back and forth. And you could tell, like, he needs to sit there because he's charging his phone. Right. He but he's not trying to, like, talk to her, like hit on her or not really. But he's from the south. So he's naturally, like, good at talking to people. Like, yeah, you could tell he's not like trying not to talk. Right. But they're talking like, what are you up to? And she's like, oh, I'm just going to a restaurant tonight. And then I'm heading back. That's weird. That's weird.

Yeah, that's weird. That's weird. And then she was asking him about something. And then she's like, so are you single? No. And I was like, okay, aggressive. I have popcorn by this point. I have full popcorn. I don't know who I'm burning for. I could never. I could never. I could never talk to someone in a romantic way. First of all, when the sun is out. Second of all, like in a confined location where I can't immediately run away if something goes awry.

Just wait. He goes, oh, I'm actually married. No. No. Did he have a wedding ring on? I think he did. Okay. And he goes, what's your situation? Like, you tell that, like, he just asked it back to be polite, but she kind of took it as, like, oh, we're flirting. Oh, okie dokie. And the face just took a swig of her la croix. So then she goes, you know, I used to be married, but I'll men cheat. You know that.

No. Okay. I'm fully now typing on the Giggly Squad notes. I'm fully writing in the notes right now so I don't forget anything. Like, I'm like, hey, sorry, can you repeat that? How old was the guy? Like, in his 30s? I actually didn't make, I didn't even look at him because I was being so discreet. Like, if I looked, I feel like I would have ruined the moment. Yes. Yes.

Don't you love when you can hear a conversation and like, but you can't see them and you're like, I cannot wait to see what these fucking people look like. I was like making it up in my head. Yeah. Who needs a book? Who needs a book? No, seriously. So he kind of awkwardly laughs and she's like, yeah, you know, like my baby daddy, he cheated all the time. So, you know, he goes, are you wearing a wedding ring? And she's like, this isn't a wedding ring. I just wear them because everyone cheats anyways. And I'm like, oh, yeah.

First of all, not everyone cheats. You know guys are dumb. He was kind of just like laughing, but it's clearly like... Like an awkward laugh. Yeah. And then she goes, so how long are you staying out? And he's like, oh, well, we're going back to New York. Was his wife there? No, just him. Okay. He's going out to meet them, I guess. And she goes, oh, well, when you're back in the city, I'll show you around. What?

Does he does she get his number? She goes, give me your number. No, no, no. What do you say? She says, give me your number. And like I'm telling you guys, I don't mean to be a bitch, but she's not cute. OK, she's not cute. That's always the one. But here's the thing. If your man cheats, it is with someone else.

uglier than you. But like, I couldn't tell because I've never witnessed a man, a husband cheat. Yeah. I couldn't tell if he was just doing it to like, be like, can I just charge my phone without you like murdering me? Right. Or if he was being polite, but he was like, because that's crazy for her to be like, oh, I'm going to show you around when you're back with your family in New York. No, but if he's going out to the Hamptons from New York City, that means that this man lives in New York City. Oh, see, here I go again. No, I don't think he, I think they're like visiting.

And like, I think they're there for a wedding. I actually, I know they're there for a wedding. He's like visiting New York and they're going out to the Hamptons for a wedding. Like it was, she was pushing all of it onto him and she was like, can I have your number? If you are married and you live anywhere in the country and a girl asks for your number, the answer is no. I don't care if like you're going to be embarrassed by it or you're going to embarrass the girl. Like, no. It was giving vibes of like when you're cornered and a creepy dude is like,

Asking for your number Yeah And sometimes you'll just be like Sure Like just to get out of it Yeah And she was being aggressive But then now As I'm saying it to you I'm like Is this dude like Dirty But he basically was like Sure I need a part two I need a part two This is a TikTok That I need a part two of He goes sure And they like Exchange numbers And then

And I almost missed my fucking stop. It stops. And I haven't like, all my shit is everywhere. And I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck. And I'm like, excuse me, excuse me. And I just ran, run out. So I don't know what happened, but like, I'm sorry. I try to think of like how I'd want Des to handle the situation. Yeah.

And I feel like he would put the foot down and be like, oh, sorry, don't get my number out. Yeah, I think Craig would be like, oh, I don't know. Like, I feel like Craig would blame it on me. Like, I could hear Craig being like, oh, my girlfriend's fucking nuts. Like, I can't.

Be like, if you want to live another day, let's not. My girlfriend, I feel like has murdered people in the past. And so I'm looking out for you and you alone. He's like, he'll find you. She'll kidnap you. She does a lot of like torture things with knives. It'll be a whole thing. This is just like a classic overheard New York. So insane. Let's do some front page news since we're in like a gossip mood. I'm excited. What do we have?

Now, I don't know if you saw that... Obviously, we know that Emrata is getting a divorce from her cheating husband. Yes. So maybe all men do cheat, but we'll find out. She has been spotted out now twice with Brad Pitt. Okay. I told you. Girls, get out of these stinky relationships. I also think Brad Pitt does kind of look like her ex, except her ex is like Brad Pitt from Walmart. Completely. And also, I think...

Brad Pitt is obviously like the ultimate heartthrob sex symbol, like whatever. I could not... Even if this was a PR relationship, I don't care. Even if this is like the smallest fling ever and they literally fucked each other one time, I don't care. Could you think of another person to fucking rebound with?

Solely to make your ex jealous. Like, oh, sorry, can't come to the phone right now. I'm having sex with Brad Pitt. Like, any age, any hairstyle, any wear. Like, I don't care. I don't care. So I just heard the Shania Twain lyric where she goes, I'm at dear Brad Pitt. And all of us were like, that doesn't impress me. Shania, that doesn't impress us. We're like, Shania, we are stans. But also if Brad Pitt...

acknowledged me i'd risk it all the crazy thing about brad pitt is like i know some girls are into george george clooney but it's kind of like you have to have a type and like honestly i'm not into i'm not even into zaddies like des is just a one-off right brad pitt we all would fuck we we all would i've never once been like oh is he getting older nope it's so funny how it's like you can classify people as are they a jen aniston are they an angelina jolie everyone's a brad person yeah

Like that is what will bring the world together. It's world peace and Brad Pitt. And remember, M. Rad is like around our age. Like she grew up like we did where Brad Pitt was like he was always older. No, she's freaking out. Like to even text like one text to your best friend. Like, sorry, I'm in Paris with Brad fucking Pitt. Could you imagine? It's kind of the way I feel about you DMing Haley.

It's pretty fucking close. It's equivalent, I'd say. Hales. I call her Hales, but that's just mine. My love. Honestly, her ex looks like Brad Pitt if he was swollen. If he was having a serious allergic reaction and no one had a Benadryl. Oh, right. And that is gentle bullying. That is gentle bullying on the pod. Is it bullying when it's true? No.

That's what I always find myself asking in my head. I do have an idea, though, that I wrote down. How do you feel about M. Rodden, Pete Davidson? Wow.

Is it like too annoying? Like, really, Pete? You need to get the other hottest woman in the world? Like, is it kind of annoying? No, I think it's great. I think it'd be fucking amazing. Because people are talking about like, how do you go from Kim? I do think I've had relationships where like whoever you date before can affect the next person. For sure. If they know of that person or they see something of that person. I feel like Pete, everyone's joking that he should be with Martha Stewart.

No, I don't like that. That's like a stupid joke. That's like something on TikTok or like Instagram, whatever, social media that people think is funny. And I'm just like, I'm over that. The first time I saw it, I was then over that joke. What have you got with Kendall? That'd be fucking amazing. I don't think Kendall's boyfriend's good looking whatsoever. She's a new one? No, Devin Booker. They broke up. They're back together. They are? They are.

Stay up to date, please. Oh my God, did you see for a second how cocky I got because I thought you were wrong? Yeah, you loved it. I was like, did you not read the news a year ago?

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I've pretty much cleared out all my lounge sets after I moved. I just like got rid of everything. I was like, I don't need all of these random sweatpants and sweatshirts and really replaced everything with skims because I know it's always going to look good and I know it always feels amazing. And you know how much I love laying in bed. So if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan.

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash Giggly. Okay, my next front page news is Drake got a face tattoo of his mom's initials.

Oh, God. I... Talk about red flag. How many red flags can we put into one thing? I was thinking about it, too, because when I first read it, I was like, oh, that's so weird. Like, why would people do that? And then I remember, like, what hypocrites we are, because there is a podcast many weeks ago that I said that I would literally have sex with Post Malone in front of my parents. Like, I don't... Like, I love that man. And he has face tattoos. But it's just different. It's just different. It's different. It's different because...

It's his mom because I do not need a man who is so obsessed with his mom. Like, yeah, love your mom. But like, it has to be healthy. It has to have some separation boundaries. Like we have to be able to have sex without you saying her name. It's funny that that's the way your brain went. My brain immediately went to like aesthetics. Like I can't date someone with a face tattoo. How would our engagement photos look like? You're embarrassing me.

You're not a hardened criminal. You didn't just get out of jail. You drive a Lambo and rap about your bed. Like, stop. It is funny. Face that like other tattoos. You're like, fine. But the second hits the face, you're like, oh, you are really committing to being a creative. And I think like the inside of like growing up in a Catholic, very strict home. I'm like, how are you going to get a job? I know.

My first thought was like, what if you have to? No one's going to take you seriously. Also, Nikki Glaser is obsessed with the idea of like how she wants to be the most loved woman. And like if the mom's still alive, you'll never be the most loved.

Yeah, I've definitely dated some people. I've dated a range of people that have like issues with their moms. They either like hated their moms or like I like needed to know their mom's opinion on everything. Either extreme is bad. Yeah. Did I tell you the theory about like why people have problems with guys moms?

No, like mom-in-law's they said that I think it was a tick tock It definitely was a tick tock that moms when you have a son. Mm-hmm You want to make this son the greatest man possible? You want to make him better than all the guys you've dated you want to make him better than your husband? You want to make him better than your dad? You want to teach him to be the greatest guy ever and the second he comes of age?

After all this hard work you put into him. No one's good enough for him. Some dumb slut just snatches him and gets all the benefits of it all. Well, like, obviously you don't want to fuck your son. Right. But, like, there's something where you just get some animosity towards the girl. Like, I created him. I made him into that man. I know immediately, and I ask my parents this all the time, like, do you love me more than dad? I ask my mom this all the time. Wait, that's...

But like I need to know. I know my mom does. My mom does. My mom says, yes, that's crazy. Like, of course, I love you more. My dad has never once answered the question. He goes, every time I ask it, he looks at me and he goes, come on, Paige. Like that he loves my mom more than he loves us. Where was I going with this? It's a very interesting point. Another reason I'm in therapy. Another good reason. Yeah.

My mom would for sure say me. Yeah. And then my dad like loves me like crazy, but he needs my mom. Like if it was just me and my dad left, we're not eating. No. We're not finding anything. We're not getting anywhere. No. We're not functioning. So like he needs her to survive. Same. My dad needs my mom to survive. But I know without even having a child...

I know that I will love that child way more than my husband. Like there's not even a fucking comparison. Like I just know that like I made you. You're half me. Of course I'm going to love you more. I'm a narcissist. I mean, that's how I feel about butter right now. So you love, by the way, licking my finger that I put in my ear right now. Disgusting. I'm telling Haley Bieber. If you guys go to lunch, I'm going to,

comment everything and say she sticks her finger in her ear and lets her cat like a don't hang out with her you start an anonymous account just like messaging her about me be like don't trust her she's on rss did you see her on reality tv maybe haley watches bravo maybe haley watch it and was like nah i fuck with hannah i was like no i see through this shit yeah i see through all this bullshit also have you heard of this thing called pay pigs

No. Pay pigs. It's a man who pays a woman to financially dominate him. So they enjoy humiliation of sending women money without getting anything in return.

So, like, basically, like, you just, like, steal from a man. Diseases I literally wish my boyfriend had. Rise and shine, my little human ATMs. I know exactly what buttons to push to make you spit out as much money as I want, and I do it with an evil smile. That's what a pay-big says. The internet has beaten me today. They want to laugh at you and call you pathetic while taking your money. What's more humiliating than sending money for nothing in return? Huh?

I want to do this. You literally just take their money and call them stupid. Literally my dream. I feel like we already do that. Wait. Like, give me your credit card. We've been doing that. Yeah. Wait, we fucking invented this bullshit.

Okay, pay pigs. That's fucking fascinating. Kind of love that. Okay, so the gigglers submitted the funniest advice as always. Oh, sorry. I opened up my messages with Hayley. I also haven't responded to her because I'm too nervous. Play hard to get. What would you respond after she calls you a queen? I would just like the last. No, that could cause a fight. If she's that friend, she'll be like, why did you just like her? I feel like she's a low-maintenance bitch. If she's really meant to be friends with you...

She's low maintenance. I'm going to do the prayer hands. I'm just going to do the prayer hands. Okay. Okay. Do it now. Just to be like, I'm cute, but I'm not going to bother you because you're busy. Are you going to do it now? No, I have to focus when I do it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. And I'll be like, P.S. I hope Justin's dopamine is okay. Do not. Do not. Do not.

You are literally that friend that you're like, I'm just going to be like, okay, cool. And we're like, yeah, send that text. That's a good text. And you're like, okay, cool. I think that you, and then you just like start going. We're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're like, Hannah, don't fuck this up for me. No, seriously, don't fuck this up. Okay, let's see what the gigglers are up to. I feel like I've met a lot of gigglers recently. And it really, Hannah, there was at one point where I was like, I think we really did start a cult.

But I'm telling you, they're also because whenever I meet gigglers, it's like and I'll be with like a group of my friends or like with Craig or like whatever. And girls are just like, I'm a giggler. Like it's like a code. I'm like, what fraternity are we in that we have this like secret? Just like I'm a giggler. And yeah, it's just like walking down the street and passing. It's like, hey, I'm a giggler. And I'm like, someone would be like, my friend watches Summer House, but I'm a giggler.

I know the truth. I'm a giggler. Okay, this is funny. How to tell your parents you quit your corporate job. I've been telling them I'm going to work, but just going to my boyfriend's house. Oh my god. Don't say anything until you have a new job. Possible. Or you, this is going to sound bad, but tell them you have cancer. No, Hannah, don't tell them that. And then when they get upset, you go, just kidding, I quit my corporate job. Okay.

Wait, you know what? One of my... This is like a friend of a friend. I don't even know the people involved in this story. One of... And I barely even know, I feel like, the person that told me. So this is you. This is about you. No, but this story like stuck in my head. This guy was coming out to his parents and he...

This could be a made-up story, too. I think I heard that same story. But he told them that he had brain cancer. And then he was like, just kidding, I'm gay. And his parents were like, okay. Like, we didn't even care that you were going to be gay. But, like, why did you say that? Like, why would you do that? They go, honestly, not necessary. So unnecessary. Like, shocking. Someone wrote, losing all motivation in my life. Join the club. And just period. Same. Same.

Same. Same. Get a cat. My thing is sometimes you losing motivation is instead of like fighting it, sometimes just let in to it. Lean in. Lean the fuck in. Lean in. Make it a feminist movement. Like lean in.

And it's your body telling you you need a break. And sometimes even if you have like work that needs to be done, you'll do so much better at that work if you like give yourself a break. I'm sorry. I'm just like now I'm thinking about myself and I'm just like, wait, I'm like feeling that. What should I do? Well, you know, like you can't force motivation. And I feel like a lot of it is society telling you that we all have to wake up and be so fucking motivated and have like a tick tock of like all the things we did that day. Yeah.

When like that's not the reality. Like if you wake up in the morning and your first immediate reaction isn't fuck, I have nothing in common with you. I don't know what it would be like to wake up and like be refreshed and happy. I don't trust you. I wouldn't trust you for shit. No. No.

So I just feel like everybody feels that, but not everybody says it. And it's okay to like not be motivated. I feel like my anxiety comes from thinking like I couldn't be better. I can like be doing more. And then I go into like that depression. So just like let it ride. You'll be over it soon.

Yes, know that everything is temporary and also it's if you're not motivated sometimes it's like then change things up do something like I have ADHD undiagnosed it's a problem and Sometimes I'm not motivated because I just don't like what I'm doing So when I just when I'm interested in something I get hyper focused and like crazy to do it So sometimes it's like maybe you're bored. Yeah, maybe you really are bored take two days and don't leave the apartment. I

My roommate screams on the phone breaking up with her ex-boyfriend nightly. Three months in. Help. Oh my god, that fucking sucks. There's literally nothing you can do. Or you get on the phone and you start fighting with someone and you outfight her. You can't do anything because people in those kinds of relationships...

They have they're going through something and you can't force them to be done with that person. They have to be done when they're done. Yeah. Get invest in a really good headphone. And like, I'll give you some ASMR people that I watch on YouTube. You'll be asleep in 10 minutes. I do have to say earplugs do work. Yeah. Control what you can control. Make it aware because like she's in your personal space as well. But also you can just let her know that.

In a very nice, caring way that like, you know, you know, like let her know that, you know. Yeah. Like wake up the next morning, be like, dude. Like, hey, is everything OK? Are you OK? I heard you crying. Knock on the door and be like, oh, my God, are you OK? That's crazy. Because maybe she's so in the moment that she's unaware that she's like doing this.

So just have it on the back of her head that like everything I say, someone else can hear because maybe she'll go downstairs and on the street and fight and cry in the street like a normal person. Right. Right. Case closed. Next. OK. How do I get a guy I'm dating to be more confident around me? Break up with him. But yeah. What? There's nothing. That's the way they were made. You're not. That's called you're not with the right person. You're not. Yeah.

No. He'll never be. He'll never be what you made up in your head you thought he was. It's not him. I was so bad at that. Like, I loved seeing a guy before he spoke and filling in all the blanks that he was amazing. Half the reasons we like guys, we've made up about them. Yeah, because we're creative geniuses. Exactly. Exactly.

Our creative juices always flowing. Guys flying to meet me in my city this weekend. We've been talking for two months. What should we do? Okay, so this new fling is coming and you want to show them a good time.

Totally depends on what city you live in. True. I feel like in New York City, if a guy was coming to stay with me for the weekend, first of all, that would never happen because I hate entertaining people. And like in my personal space, no. Yes. But I think it has to be like activities, like planned activities. I love how we cannot think of one activity. Not a single one. I keep talking, thinking something will pop into my brain.

We're like marathons. What do people do? What do people do? I immediately thought like a museum. I'm like, bitch, one of you ever been to a museum in the past 10 years? I do think it's hot to like not immediately first day, like stay home and fuck the whole time, like go in a public place to build some tension. Like as soon as he gets there, everybody's always hungry. Like immediately go to lunch or dinner. And also you could like just ask him what he wants to do to make it seem like you care about him.

just get drunk just like go to a bar and get drunk and you guys will literally figure it out true get drunk don't get other people involved like don't try to show me your friends just like fuck and see if you like being around him day to day and if you hate him go to the movies everyone is asking if slash when i'm pregnant how should i respond i ate mexican today honestly lay off

It is weird. The second you get married. I was just going to say that. Are people asking you? They're going, when are the kids? Everyone. I'll post like a slightly bloated photo. Like I wore those like that baby doll shirt. Yeah. And everyone's like, OK, pregnant. No, no.

No. I'm a child bride. I like forgot you even got married. That's like what good friends we are. Paige, the other day Des was talking to someone and he was like, my wife is over there. And I was like, how dare you call me that? That is how fucking dare you call me your wife? I'm like, do I knit? You're making us look so old. We're so choogy. Literally, it was so choogy. I looked behind. I pretended it wasn't me.

Imagine being called a wife by Chris. Stop it, Hannah. Don't you dare. Don't you dare manifest that for me. I have feelings for someone who's engaged and will be married in a month. She told me she has feelings for me too. We've made out. Help.

Uh, uh, uh, this is above our pay grade. This is above my pay grade for sure. I'm making things up at this point, but I genuinely feel that people who are really scared to get married, like we'll look for anything, uh,

To like see if they're making the right decision. And I think she's putting a lot of like eggs in your basket. And like it's the idea of like could I possibly be with someone else that's better for me? And am I making the wrong decision? Yeah. And like you have feelings for her, but it kind of feels like she's in entanglement. Yeah. And she wants someone to give her that like final like, oh, no, I want to be with someone else. I would try to be communicative with her, but it sounds messy Bessie. I.

I also like to go through life with thinking like I'm not the exception to the rule. So like most often those crazy things aren't going to happen to me where someone's engaged about to get married and realizes I'm the love of their life and like leaves that relationship. Like that's not that's in a movie. This is real life. But she's move on. She's crazy. We both have main character energy. You a thousand percent think that.

That the guy who made out with you would be like, oh, he finally met the one. When I heard Amrata was sleeping with Brad Pitt, I was like, if Craig and I break up, that is my next mission. I'm sleeping with Brad Pitt. The amount... Do you remember, like, as kids, the amount of girls who were like, but if Justin Bieber made eye contact with me, game over. Game over. Like, people would study Justin Bieber and be like, who's his favorite hockey team? Like, learn everything. Game over. But, you know...

I'm kind of connected now. Okay, this is funny. How can I make my boyfriend happy after I blacked out and talked about our sex life to my family? Do not apologize for that. People need to know. Sorry, not sorry. I tell my mom literally everything. I tell my mom everything. Also, like, I kind of have follow-up questions, like, what about your sex life?

Was he like embarrassed? Was he sitting next to you? Like who cares? But also like figure the fuck out bro. You have nothing to apologize for. Oh what? You're not allowed to talk to other people about your intimate details of your relationship? Sounds controlling. Honestly he's gaslighting you. Yeah. Say whatever you want. What does he want to do? Pry you away from your family so he can like have full control over everything you do and you can't talk to anyone about it? Sounds like a cult. If you have a small dick my mom knows it. Sorry. Sorry.

I'm not going to do... The amount of moms who know about guys' dick sizes is incredible. I'm going to deny my mom that hot gossip. She's retired. She's... She's bored. I'm going to tell her. Ooh, my boyfriend wears Crocs. What do I do? Depends on how he wears them. Like, if he's swaggy, then I think it's fine. If he's wearing them with jeans, just throw them out and be like, I don't... I legitimately have no...

I have no idea what you think. Like they got up and walked away. I don't know. You probably misplaced them. There are so many things that you can just throw out in a relationship and get away with it and just be like, oopsie poopsie. I've thrown out Craig's flip flops before. I'm like, I don't know. I threw out Des' Invisalign on accident. That's on me. That was on me. Yeah, that's expensive. That's expensive. That one, he still. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks.

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pulled over my head. Also, I want to let you know, I kind of want to try something fashion wise and I think you're going to hate it. I can't wait to hear. What is it? I want to try to pull off a low-waisted cargo skirt.

Yes, like one of the mini skirts with the pleats. Not mini. Okay. A long cargo. Oh. With like... Yes. Like khaki. No, I love it. I love it. Really? Yes. Okay, because people are going to come up to me and say, did Paige let you wear this? Yes, I love the long skirt trend. And I'm envisioning it with like a tank. And then I want to get those like off Amazon, those silver. Yep. Like...

Do it. Yes, do it. You see the vision? Yes, I love it. Very LA. I mean, my best friend is from LA, Haley. You don't have to say her name. We know who you're talking about. By the way, you remember, I said remember, like it wasn't three days ago, for my birthday, you said I was your only best friend. I'm going to post a photo of me and Haley and say my only best friend.

It's my birthday and Hailey's face is on my body and you're like my one and true only best friend. The gigglers were so funny. They were like, Craig is shaking. Craig...

guys, Craig texted me about it. What did he say? I feel like that was really harsh. And he was like, oh, you met like one and true, like the saying, like true and only, comma, best friend. Like you're like my truest best. Oh, so now he's mansplaining punctuation to you. I let him think it. I go, yeah, that's exactly what I meant.

You got to trick them. You have to gaslight them. Speaking of not having boyfriends, how to be because we have a lot of single gigglers. How to be the only single giggler, single friend in the group without feeling sad or jealous. It's honestly so easy. Your friends are not happy in their relationships. No, they're miserable. They hate him.

You just got to hold on until one of them breaks up. And then once one of them does it, they all end up doing it because they see you guys like being single and fun. True. When I was on the tennis team at Go Badgers Wisconsin, there was a moment where there were eight girls on the team and I was the only single one. And they called me single Hannah. First of all, Go Badgers. Second, that's that's bullying. That's a legitimate cyber bullying in person. Yeah.

Do it. Do it in a group chat that you're not in. Like do it in private. They literally to your face were like single Hannah. And I wish I could say like they all hated their relationships, but they didn't. Like multiple of them got married to those guys and they were great. But like they were bored. They were bored and they would. It was college. They'd be like Hannah, what happened last night? And I was like, oh my God. After I fucked the mascot. Like they were living vicariously through my shit. And I just do think.

You guys, you cannot compare your timeline with other people's timelines. No. I would love to do like a love connection for gigglers.

Yeah, that would be fun. We have to figure something out. We'll figure something out. Like, throw, like, a singles party. Oh, yeah. Except I don't want straight men listening to our podcast. No, no, no. That would be, like, so toxic. It's not for you. It's not for you, and it just would bring, like, the worst energy. Yeah, it's not for you. It's against you. I do think, like, we started the pod. We started Giggly Squad, like, lives. We were... You were in a relationship. Yes. And I was single. Yes. And then...

I got in a relationship. You were single. And then we're both in a relationship. And I don't want the single gigglers to feel out of the loop in any way. In any way. I could be single at any moment. You have no idea. Same. Like, it would involve some more paperwork and admin, which you guys know I'm bad at. But I would hire someone to get that done. So, like, we're learning and we're growing. And we're going through all kinds of relationships together, girlies. Okay, final question. Should I keep talking to him just to hang out with his dog? Yeah.

Yes. Yes. Two more times and then shut it down. OK, you guys are amazing. We love you so much. We still have a couple of tickets in New York and I wait the other day. I got really excited for our live shows. No, no, no. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I was like, oh, my God, what new segments are we going to do? Like I got giddy. I asked Paige, I was like, what are our outfits like? What's the vibe? And she was like, what it always is.

iconic fucking stopping yeah never been done before we did drop new merch that's out that we're obsessed with giggly-squad.com we're ready people are getting it in the mail already everyone looks gorgeous and we'll talk to you guys later thanks for giggling with us bye