Giggling about fingering, friend jealousy and outfit disasters
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What is up, my galactic gigglers? Wow. That just came to me. Yeah, that was a good one. Welcome to the Giggly Universe. Wait. How many... We never... Like, I've never looked because... Well, I'm lazy. But, like, how many episodes of Giggly Squad do you think we have? A shit ton. Because we don't take a break. And then I realized people have, like, seasons. Yeah.

Yeah, we didn't know about that. Yeah, we didn't know.

We didn't, like, do we ever, like, I've never, we've never inquired of, like, do we have a week off? Some people have seasons, they have storylines, they have vacation breaks. We don't. We don't. We travel with our equipment in case something comes up that we must discuss. Even if we lose our equipment everywhere, we figure it out. You know what? This is a journey that we're on. Does it come out Monday? Does it come out Tuesday? Who knows? Some housekeeping. We have literally a handful of tickets left for our third show in New York in September.

And a literal tiny handful, like a baby's hand.

left in Boston, go to our link. Also, I want to say Sierra was on burning in hell and her episode was amazing. And I think you guys would enjoy it. Thirdly, look at me acting like I clean, I clean. Yeah. Um, it really helps us to leave reviews. Um, if you listen to giggly squad on Apple pods and I decided we're planning new live shows. So leave a review, tell us where you live and where we should go for our next live show.

Oh, yeah, because we're having a hard time. Like, I know I want to go to the South and I know I want to go to Texas. But like where? Austin, Dallas, Houston. Right. I actually only know those three. Pasadena. Rio Grande. Pasadena. Sounds like it should be in Texas. Is Texas the South?

We've asked this and it's not. It's its own. It's just Texas. It's just Texas. And that's the main character energy I'm obsessed with for them. I feel like at some point in my life. No, you're not moving to Texas. No, I mean, I would do Austin for a weekend. I would totally do Austin. You would love Austin because it has an aesthetic. We love an aesthetic.

I just like to know rules before I like go somewhere and I feel like places that have like action, like, you know, the outfit rules makes it easier for me. Like Miami. I know what I'm getting into when I'm going to Miami. You know, Hoochie Mama. Yeah. We have a very special episode today because we have not given advice in a while and I feel like the gigglers are running wild. You know, like they haven't been guided in the right toxic direction. I know.

I haven't responded to any of my college girls like with their text messages. Yeah. And then they come to me. They go, hey, can you ask Paige what I should wear? I have my own journey right now that it's like I'm trying to figure out. And like if I even gave you advice on this, it would be wrong. I love our college girlies. I love our mom glars. I love our gay glars. Let's begin. I love when they're so fucked up. My boyfriend. I have some fucked up ones. My boyfriend has resting bitch face. So I always think he's mad at me. Help me.

I think that's a great quality because you don't he doesn't hate you. He doesn't. If he hated you, he wouldn't be there. I have to say Des has resting bitch face whenever he plays sports. Like we'll be playing volleyball and he's just like angry face. And my mom will straight up be like, is he OK? And I'm like, no, that's his having fun face. That's just how he has like afterwards. Those best those best time of my life. And I'm like, you looked like you were going to murder everyone's family.

See, Craig has the opposite. He has like resting happy face and that freaks me out more. I don't like that. What the fuck are you happy about? Yeah. Who the fuck are you thinking about in this moment? Also, I feel like people are more apt to talk to him like strangers, which. No. No. No. Craig is like one of those people that like if we go anywhere like on a vacation, we have like we make a couple friend. Yeah.

and like okay once like you're friends with them and like you have a drink like it is fun sometimes but the initial talking i'm like every time i'm squeezing him his hand i'm just like why are you doing this to me like i hate small talk des thinks he's the mayor of west hampton and has to tell everyone what's going on all the time and i'm like i think you're freaking people out like they just want to get a tan he's like coming in with the weather report and like what's going on in traffic no literally the swell the swell of the ocean no one gives a fuck at

about the swell he's like the swell is big today oh then then in our beach yeah this motherfucker got bit by a shark

right in West Hampton bit by a shark and Des goes it's a small shark it's like a dog bite it's like a small shark I go what? you got bit by a shark and he goes it's fine it's no big deal I think pools are boring I like the ocean Des have you ever been bit by a shark? I do have to say though if I'm gonna die in this lifetime if I'm gonna die I wanna go out being bitten by a shark cause that shit's badass I don't wanna die anything water or fire related

Yeah. Like if it just happens, I would like it to be swift and like I didn't even know. You're like, I kind of want it in a Zara. Like I can't put on something in a Zara. Wait, somebody said to me the other day, they were like, Paige is so fucking nuts. She like goes to Zara to calm her brain. And I was like, I just feel like that's the rudest thing ever to say what calms different people. But are they right? Yeah. Yeah.

spot on spot fucking on zara like girls i don't know if there's like a weird competitiveness when i walk into zara yeah like if you put something down and someone comes and picks it up it's like well now we're in a fight and then like where's your boyfriend because i'll fuck him now i have to follow you the whole time and try to steal all the size sixes okay yeah um oh this is a good one what do you do on days when you're feeling self-conscious or unsure of yourself post a thought squat pic

No, see like for me when I'm feeling self-conscious posting a pic will just make me spiral. I I try and not do any social media like when I'm feeling self-conscious true this is gonna sound corny, but it's actually talk to your friends because Your friends like love you for you and all your imperfections. I feel like when I talk to my friend I'm like, well, she doesn't hate me. So why am I hating me? Yeah, I

My one girlfriend, like my best friend from high school...

She is a very anxious person. And so like whenever I'm really anxious over something, I text her who has like a very like normal, lovely life and like has been dating her boyfriend. And like it seemingly just like seems lovely. And I'll text her and be like, do you have anxiety? And she'll be like every single day at all times. Like, yes, everyone has anxiety. Don't get in your head like yours is like so much worse than everyone else's. And it like grounds me.

What I recently learned about my anxiety is I'll do this thing where I'll find something that stresses me out and put all my anxiety onto it and make it just like I have this one problem. Instead, it's like it's not really the problem. You ever like fixate on one thing and think like every day? I have a little OCD, though, and I'll be like, if this didn't happen to me, my life would be perfect. And it's like, no, you're stressed about something else.

Literally the sole reason I hired an assistant. Because I was like, I feel like these are the things that's stressing me out. I'm going to hire someone to do it. And she doesn't. And I'm like still stressed because I feel like I could have done it differently. Delegation is...

Beautiful. No, I know. It is. So I'm working on like when I, when I, it's almost like trigger warning. It's like emotional cutting where you're like, oh, I'm going to go back to that comfortable, anxious feeling I have about a certain situation. Like I feel like in relationships I've done it before where I'm like,

You're stressed like, for example, he doesn't like me. He has resting bitch face. That's an anxiety thought. It makes no sense. There's other shit going on in your life and you're putting it onto like that situation to almost simplify the anxiety that never made any sense in the beginning. We're not high. I'm going to tell you right now. We're not high. Speak for yourself. It's an intrusive thought. Yes. Which I never believed in.

Like I was like, I don't get what an intrusive thought is, but it's a random thought that like your brain just happened to make up for you. And now you've made it real. Like, okay, he has resting bitch face, but you made up that that face doesn't like you. Then it's not true. But also Paige, how do you differentiate an intrusive thought from a sign from the universe? It's very tricky. Yeah.

Is it in terms of thought or is it my ancestors warning me about something important? Right. Seriously. Is that like, like whenever I have a really bad dream about Craig, I'm like, is the universe trying to tell me something? Yes. Like, or like, did I just like make this whole thing up? So I have to call him and be like, Hey, where were you last night? Were you fucking a redhead or no? And he's like, I literally slept with you. So like, I'm literally trying to poop in the bathroom in the same house as like, I just,

walked away for two seconds now we're getting a little freakier can i tell my mother-in-law to stop kissing me on the mouth seriously though kissing me i'm kissing her on the mouth or the husband the mother-in-law look she's probably italian it's a mother-in-law she's italian honestly get lean in is what i say lean in put a little tongue in there she'll never do it again throw a little tongue okay

She's definitely Italian. Cause I've had Irish moms, like I'll go to hug them and they're like, absolutely not. And I'm like, I respect your boundaries.

But here's the thing. We have Italian moms and I don't... I haven't kissed my mom on the lips in years except I actually recently was really anxious and really depressed and when she was leaving me, she did kiss me on the lips. But I don't think that's like a normal... I'm very Italian. I love affection. I love attention. But I am not like a kiss on the lips person if I don't also have sex with you. Yeah, like...

I've accidentally kissed my mom's on the lips. I've accidentally kissed a lot of people on the lips. In New York, we do a lot of the kiss on the cheeks. And you don't know if that person just went to Europe. They're doing the double-double. Sometimes they do the air kiss. I've accidentally kissed so many people on the lips. I've learned that if you do the double-double, you go left first.

yeah but sometimes when you're like doing the cross you're crossing yeah they can I don't know I'm just awkward though like I have very awkward hello interactions I would say just say you're sick be like oh sorry I'm sick I also am trying to let's normalize every time someone walks in a room you don't have to hug them hello and hug them goodbye like I've been trying to actively stay seated

Because I'm like, I don't want to. Like, I don't want to. I love that. I love that. Sometimes I feel, though, that I'm being rude if I put out my hand to shake. But it's like, I don't owe anyone a hug. I don't even know you. Yeah, like, get off of me. Like, I don't need to hug you just because you're, like, leaving. Like, a simple bye will suffice, and I won't feel like you... Can we just not even do byes? Can we just cut the byes? Just leave. Do you know what? In Ireland... Mm-hmm.

An Irish exit is when like they they're so talkative that like it takes forever to say goodbye. It's called like an Irish goodbye, but it's the opposite in America and Irish. Exit is just like leaving. Yeah. So they got very confused when they came to the wedding. Oh my God. Wow. It's so crazy how things mean different things in countries. Okay. Okay. This was funny. Keep having sex dreams about my husband's hot brother. How could I make it stop? Yeah.

Oh my god, that is some subconscious shit. I'm gonna say this out loud. Des has two very good looking brothers. Very. Very good looking brothers. Very. Very. And I'm gonna leave it at that. Like, I've always thought that Des is a very handsome man. And then when I saw his brothers at the wedding, I was like, Des, I'm so sorry. Yeah.

When you find out he has hot brothers, but this is the thing, Des is the oldest. Yeah. And that shit's hot to me because he starts bullying them and I'm like, okay. Yeah.

We love a bully. That's so true. He starts like smacking him around and I'm like, okay, I see who the alpha is. But, um, that's, yeah, Craig has a very good looking brother, but Craig's like the older brother. So I'm just like, obviously I'm going to be with the older brother. Come on. My advice is always go for the older brother. Second of all, I feel like the dream is more you're going for something forbidden. Like you're just like being a little naughty. I don't think it's anything to, it's just that like you can't. It's not him. You don't, you're not in love with the brother.

you're not in love with the brother but what do you think it is because i do think dreams have meanings i think dreams have meanings but i think maybe like maybe you want more from your sex life yeah i think maybe it's like you want to be more naughty in your sex life and in your dream life like that would be so bad if you had sex with the brother or just like call him his brother's name during sex let's find a healthy in between okay

I've gained weight and I'm too self-conscious to have sex with my boyfriend. How do I hop on it anyway? Oh, I hate that. I hate that feeling. That is the worst feeling ever. I do have to say that Des is like, he has like a phobia of me getting too skinny. And I've actually, like, I think he's trying to fat me up sometimes. Yeah, I'm definitely always trying to fatten Greg up. Yeah.

You have to get into a male's brain. Men can't tell if you cut your hair seven inches. They will not care that you have a couple rolls on your stomach when you're riding their dick with your tight pussy. Right. So true. So true. A wise woman once said, to have a little bit more junk in your trunk, you got to have a little bit of a belly.

You said it. Is that what I said? Yeah. Also, I did learn as women to protect our ovaries. That's why we develop as we're older, a little pooch. And also I have to tell you, men don't fucking men don't care that much. If he's in love with you, he's in love with you. I do know when you start feeling like, oh, I let myself go. I'm not confident myself. And I totally get that. But when it comes to sex, I'm

You pop that pussy. Just do it doggy. They literally are only look. They're looking at your ass. Oh, I love that. Do doggy.

Also, there's a position. Mom... Whatever. She's fine. She gets it. I was going to tell her not to listen, but, like, too late. Way too late. 200 episodes too late. You kind of lie. Like, lie on your side. And then take your top leg and, like, bend it up. And then, like, you're kind of in a twist a little. Yep. And then let him go in there. So, like...

No, it's just funny. It's just like because like I thought like am I picturing myself or like am I picturing you and Des doing this position? You know, like I didn't know what where to go in my brain. And so honestly either or either or wherever you feel safe. I'm gonna picture you and Craig doing this. No! Craig is like obsessed with you and I feel like Des and I have a lot of similarities and

I feel like you and Craig kind of... I like you better, though. Like, it's a big... You didn't have to say that. It's a whole, like, thing, how, like, you're my best friend, I still haven't called him mine. No, and I think Craig sees that you respect me, and he knows you just use him for his body, so he doesn't know what to do. I feel...

I feel like that might kind of be true. Wait, oh my God, I forgot to tell you this, whatever, I'll just say it on the pod. The one day I was really spiraling, like I was spiraling so bad, just about like the general anxieties of like reality TV and how much I fucking hate it and literally everything's the worst. And he goes, I,

I'm like, he was starting to actually get like really mad at me because he was like, you know what you should do when you get like this and you don't do it. And he said to me, he goes, if you continue, I'm calling Hannah. Like I'm, I'm calling her. He was going to phone a friend. He was like, I'm going to friend because this has gotten out of control.

Oh my god, that's like a parent. Yes, he was like, because it seems like she's the only one that can really get through to you and tell you when you're being a fucking psycho. And she's right when she talks about this stuff. And you like go into like a different world and you listen to other people. And he was like, and so keep it up. I thought he threatened you like, we're going to bring Hannah into this and you're not going to like what she has to say. I was like, don't you dare embarrass me. I'm going to tell Hannah. Anyway. I still tell Craig I'm going to call his mom.

Because I will. He's a 10, but can't clean up after himself. A 12. I find it so hot. Okay, so Des and I are notoriously creatives, and we're sloppy. It's like, honestly, the hardest part about the relationship. Des has this little...

who loves coming to our house because he calls it the messy place where he's allowed to be messy. Hannah Burner. That is. Can we go to the messy place? Because we let him drink any sodas he wants. My dad yesterday was like, wait, you guys live awesome. You like go to sleep at like 3 a.m. You could like leave food on the table. I'm like, yeah, I'm living a teenage dream. No, we literally, I am in the same relationship. Like we live college lives. Unless I'm on some weird,

weird like i'm going on like a work like health bender which lasts for like three days then like i don't give a shit so we are actually the worst person to ask if your boyfriend doesn't this is so bad also like when we do clean the speed at which we can cause a hurricane is incredible like the day after it's like why did we even clean do you guys have a cleaning lady

We don't. And it was my job to set it up. And that's admin that I'm not prepared for. I cannot be hot, smart, funny, and organized. You can't be a mom.

Here's how I justify being messy. I do have a cleaning lady who comes once every two weeks and that is like bathrooms, floors, bed sheets, like all my laundry. And it's like the stuff that like you have to have clean. Like you can't have a dirty like shower. But in like in between that when like things are on the table, like I don't care about that stuff.

Des and I are kind of outgrowing our space where like we have the most amazing couch and it's almost bad to have too good of a couch because like

I literally fall asleep on it. I eat on it. I do podcasts on it. I do TikToks on it. I do therapy on it. Des does his podcast on it. So like it's too much going on in one place. Yeah. You actually sent me the funniest. Was it a TikTok? No, it was an Instagram. I mean, I feel like I send you a thousand. Oh my God. I did something really bad the other day. I was talking about some like really funny TikTok and I said to Craig, I was like,

I sent it to you. Like, it's like the funniest TikToks. And he was like, you never send me funny TikToks. And I was like, I know that I sent it to you. I sent it to you. I felt so bad. Literally the basis of our friendship is like, this is what you sent to me. You said, hi, this is by Johnny Sun. High difficulty level escape room concept. You're laying in bed and you have one hour to get out of bed.

Because are you ever like, okay, I'll get up in one hour and then I'll start it. And then you're watching the minutes and it gets to like 15 and you're like, no. Okay, the mind and body is crazy because if you have a nine to five, you're fucking up. Like I will get up out of fear that I'll lose my job. I'll get up. If you don't have a nine to five, certain personality types, like why get out of bed? No, but it's also like, here's the other thing.

Okay, we did have 9 to 5s. We went to college. Like, in college, I actively signed up for 8 a.m. Because you're conditioned from high school. You already, like, you would get up that early. So I was like, I'd rather just do all my classes in the morning and be done by, like, 1 and, like, have the whole day. Solid nap. Solid fucking nap. That nap hits different because you wake up and you're like, I'm ready to eat. So, like...

Is it lunch? Is it dinner? Is it both? Let's go. And now I'm like, who could ever? Who could ever? That's crazy. Like I can get this work done whether I did it at 7 a.m. or 7 p.m. Like I'm doing it. Who cares? My giggly girlies, we are surrounded by toxic positivity of people on TikTok who show up waking up drinking a hot lemon water. Like, no, you didn't.

No, you didn't. No, you didn't. Like, oh, you're really just popping up because you're so inspired to answer emails? No, you didn't. And here's the other thing. I have dated people before who were extremely regimental. I mean...

lived a great life. Is that the word? Regimented. Yeah, that means they're regimented and mentally ill. Regimental. No, literally regimental. And it puts so much pressure on me to like change certain ways about myself. And he would always be like, but this is going to benefit you. And I was like, and I understood that mentality that yes, this probably would benefit my life. But the fact that like it's being pushed upon me makes me want to rebel. And now I've

really am not going to do it when I now say what like some days I'll wake up and I'll be like I'm gonna get out and get out of bed and I am gonna have my coffee now and then I'm gonna get through these emails and like I'll do it on my own yeah I can't have you tell me to do it well the concept of like laziness because someone doesn't do like the stereotypical stuff

is hard. And I also realized if you're constantly, if you have high anxiety, like we do, and you're constantly having a literal war in your brain, that is taxing. So like, it might look like I was lazy all day, but I'm, I'm fighting off demons. Okay. I'm actively fighting off demons. And that is exhausting. Why do you think I had to nap three times? And because bitch is fighting for her life inside fights in your brain with people who aren't there is exhausting.

I'm like, oh my God, I'm exhausted, but I won that fight. Yeah, like you're carrying a weight on your shoulder emotionally. So sometimes when you're feeling lazy, like are you lazy or have you been like fighting with yourself and potentially losing? No, seriously. Those bitches are sneaky. In my opinion...

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D. Okay. A man tried to finger me in public in daylight on day one. Ghost, right? Question mark. I love how she's like, do I or don't? Immediate. Immediate ghost. That man deserves nothing. No text message. No phone call. I'd even, I'd say block. Why? Why?

That's so forceful and so just like uncomfortable and like icky. Like you don't like in the daylight. Okay, I could see. I have gone on plenty of first date. Have I slept with people on the first date? Absolutely.

Absolutely. Have I absolutely wanted to just bang the shit out of someone I've gone on a first date with? Of course. But like if it's in the middle of the day you just met and like you don't want that. Now I'm sure that there are plenty. If birds are chirping. Like how are you even getting in that mood? Unless it's literally Liam Hemsworth coming up to you and being like can I put my fingers inside you? Like I don't want it.

Like get away from me. Do you know when I was single, I would do this thing because like having a crush is fun. So I would fall in love with whoever was the hottest at the bar that night. Yeah. Like it's like a work crush. Like you just do a survey lens. You're like, okay, that's normal. Yeah. And then you like figure it out.

And some nights you get lucky. I remember this one guy for like literally three hours. I was like, he was on my radar. So I always start talking. I was like on my flirt game. He was into it. He like takes me outside. And then I'm like, you know, when it all starts happening too fast and you're like, no, no, no. I want you to like ask me about my family. I don't know. And then he like pulls out a cigarette, starts smoking a cigarette, which I hate. Like I really hate it. Yeah. And then he like throws a cigarette down and like sticks his tongue in my mouth. And he just tastes fucking.

full full ash like you feel it throughout your whole body and I was so disgusted and immediately I'm like why did we wait three hours for this and then he like tried to unzip my jeans and this is outside in New York City like on the sidewalk and shove his hands in my jeans no and first no one's hitting a clit like that like no one is like daintily like slowly literally never finessing your clit like that's just like

Like no angle is going to feel good like that. Right. And immediately I was so turned off by this man. But it's just crazy how any girl is right now obsessing over a dude. You don't know that well.

It's all in your head. It's all in your head. Savages. These men are savages. Don't ever smoke a cigarette and then kiss me unless we're literally on the French Riviera and you own a yacht. Like unless we're vacationing in the south of France and we're heading to your yacht. Do not smoke a cigarette and then try and kiss me. It's giving me like a middle school dance vibes vibe.

Like, you know, when like a guy, oh, he fingered her on the dance floor. No one's actually fingering anyone. They're just like putting their hand near like no one is orgasming. No one. That you just more feel like violated and like no one's getting wet off like a dude just like chucking his fingers toward your thigh area. Wow. I'm thinking of like all like my high school dances. Yeah.

No. I feel like there was always a story like so-and-so got fingered on the dance floor and you can envision it. Like she just like had the most incredible orgasm. It's like, no, he literally was rubbing her in her thigh for three minutes and she was like, can you stop? Why was that always like the biggest conversation after dances? Like she got fingered.

When the guy probably like tried and missed and then told all his boys. Now we're at, isn't it funny? Now we're at an age that like if I walked up to you and I was like, he fingered me like in the car, you'd be like, okay, you fucking weirdo. Even saying fingered is like gross. So gross. Grow up and have sex. I do have to say though, like European dudes, I feel like know where the clit is.

European dudes are very different sexually. And like, I don't know if it's just like our brains are conditioned to be with like lazy attack or lazy American men, but like I enjoy it more. Yeah.

I also wonder if European guys watch like different porn than American guys, or this is all made up from me watching like a high school movie where it's like, she went to France and met Francois. No, I've been with French men and Italian men and they, it is very different. It's very different. It's very like, it's actually, yeah, it's very like porny almost where you're just like, like I've, there were multiple times where I like started laughing and I was just like, okay, like be normal. Like,

Stop doing that with your face. It's funny because the first time I was with a European, I was with a British dude and I was like, our British guy is known to be like, you know, crazy. And he's like, I'm pretty sure not. I don't think we are. I don't think we have that kind of reputation. We're kind of awkward. We get kind of nervous. You know, we overthink everything. And I love that.

love that like don't you love knowing like after like I started dating Craig I remember talking about like the first time we had sex and just being like I was so nervous and then him being like I was fucking petrified and they think about it because if they get nervous they can't stay hard which we don't think about

No, they have pressure. They have a lot of pressure. He was like, I was so fucking nervous. And if they are hard, they have no blood in their brains. So they're not like being strategic. Right. I do have to say in another life, I totally see you with a funny British guy. I totally do too. And Craig can't even do an accent to save his life. I mean, he has a cute little Southern drawl.

A little bit, yeah. But I... Yeah, I think I really do connect with, like, British humor. Because they're, like, dark and sarcastic. And in America, they're like... Oh, my God, so dark. Oh, my God, no. Don't say that. Basically, this girl said that she has a friend who is constantly jealous. Like, she just got a car. And she goes...

I just bought a house with my husband and I'm scared to tell her because I know she won't be happy for me. That's insane. That's insane. Also, you can't like hide the house from her. So you're going to have to make a decision real quick.

I used to have a friend like that. I mean, we were younger, though. I think if you have a friend like that and you're like buying houses with your husband's like you're too old to have a friend like that. Yeah. And I think my best advice really is to just straight up like distance yourself. Don't have to get into a fight. You don't have to give her an explanation. You slowly but surely stop telling her certain things. Then it just becomes like habit. And then like it kind of it's like you drift apart. Yeah.

You don't shouldn't even feel the pressure to give her those kind of life updates because she's probably also hitting you up being like, I just got a Labradoodle. And you're like, good job, Sarah. Oh, God. OK. Favorite non-alcoholic wine. I'm pregnant and missing my after work glass. Don't want to do a shout out too hard. But Luann has a Fosay. It's like fake rosé and it's really good.

I don't think I've ever even tried a non-alcoholic wine. Craig drinks non-alcoholic beer a lot. Really? Yeah. I'm like, that's just like so interesting. He's like, I want the taste, but like I have shit to do. And I'm like, wait, that's like the name of the brand when you want the taste, but you have shit to do. Oh my God. Um, what do I do if I get a bad dick pic that was solicited?

good for you girl how is it bad though like what what made it bad you know maybe she hasn't seen it yet and she wanted to test it and she didn't like it have you ever asked for a dick pic no you're gonna ask me page how you have evolved from our first episode you basically waiting for me to ask you about if you've asked for a dick pic

Paige, have you ever asked for a dick pic? Sure have. Sure have. What was the reason? Well, I do long distance. So it's so different. So like when we first started dating, like it was a very different relationship. So like, yeah, I'd be like, okay, well, I'm just going to be the only one out here like sending shit. Yes. No, for sure. I just have, I probably would be like, send me something, but I wouldn't specifically be like, show me.

Maybe I have. Show me your dick. Show me the cock. Your cock. Show me your cock. I hate the word cock. Oh, I hate it. Not in a sexual setting. Show me your schlong. I feel like you're also not a big talker. For how openly talkative you are about sex, I feel when you're actually having the act, you're not. Des, am I a talker in bed? No, not really. I giggle every now and then, but not really much of a talker. Yeah, I see that for you.

We're quite vocal people, but in bed I'd say we're less vocal, more subdued. Because if we start talking too much, Nixino turns into a podcast and we'll never get the deed done, you know? Right.

But I think I talk more than him. I'm into him talking. Yes. Because I like his voice. Yes, I'm very into the guy talking. But yeah, I'm not trying to be witty and charming in bed. No, not that. I just make noises like this. I go, yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

There's a spot. It's funny because people talk about how like you have a phone voice. People also have a sex voice and people don't talk about it enough. People do not. I do baby voice in my relationship. I said it. Like in normal talking. I say hi baby. Yeah. Are you going to bring me food? I actually don't do a baby voice, but Craig does. Craig and I?

I'm like, shut up. Shut up. Wait, so you respond to his baby voice in a non-baby voice? Yeah. I'm like, grow up. No, I'll be like, every now and then, I just, it's not like a daddy-daughter thing. It's more like, I just want to be so helpless and I need to take care of him. Yeah, you just want to be, yeah, you want to be vulnerable and small. You want to be small. I just want to be so tiny. Yeah. But it's mostly when I ask for food and I feel like a dick asking him for food, but I'm like,

you can't get mad right please yeah you can't yell at me when i'm doing that yeah i just like lift my shirt up and i'm like craig please get me a drink i just envision you like no literally i'm laying on the couch and i'm just like and he's like okay they're simple creatures we're making them too complex they're simple fucking creatures so so so simple um what was the resolution there she got a dick pic she didn't like it

I need more context, though. I need to know what she didn't specifically like about it. He could have been having a bad dick day, you know? Yeah, like, I mean, what would make you not be into a dick? You're a hoe. I know.

I feel like if it was like, if there were like red bumps on it. Yeah. Like if it was, which is fine. You know, what's the biggest turnoff? It's not the dick. It's like if they send a mirror pic showing their dick and they're like, so douchey in the face with it. Yes. You just nailed it. You just fucking nailed it. If they're so self-aware that they like their dick, I hate it. I want them to look like almost nervous that they're showing me the dick. I want them to, I want to feel through the phone that they're being vulnerable.

Exactly. I do not want it to look like you just went in your library of dick pics and you are like you do it too often. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah, I don't want to me. I don't want his face in the picture if I want a picture of it. You're so right. I don't want the face. Also, I prefer a video. Me too. Yeah.

And girlies, if you want to have even more fun, if he sends you a photo and it's a live photo, play it. Hold it down. See what's going on around. I like that. I agree with that. Does this friend tell the funniest story that once he's like a comic and he was traveling a lot and he'd been like jerking off and his dick was just like red and raw and sad after. And he like.

She's been running around town jerking off. Yeah, because these guys are just in hotels all day. All they do is jerk off. So he took a photo for his friends to show that his body was looking good. And when you hold down the live photo, you could see his little tiny red pee-pee. And they all just started making...

Just roasting him. When you're taking a live photo, I feel like people have figured out that their man's cheating on them with a live photo. Oh, yeah, for sure. Live photos are extremely important. You can also save live photos as a video and then you get like a cute little like four second video. OK. OK. Yeah. We could turn into like an influencer moment. Paige, I recently had a big event and right before I left, I burnt a hole in my dress and

What do you do? What's your reaction when you have a last minute mishap with your outfit? I'll tell you what Paige does. She burns everything to the ground. I, I,

I lose it. So I recently, I had to go to a bat mitzvah and in the Uber, my, my zipper ripped and my dress just was open and I had enough time to go home and change. But the thought of like picking out a new outfit,

Was crippling to me. Yeah. Cause I had a vision, had a vision. I always have safety pins in my bag. So I safety pinned it. So like it wouldn't fall. And then I just left my bag under my arm the entire night. No one knew.

She's a DIY queen. DIY. I know that you like ripped your pants or something happened with your pants. Do you remember that? That was, yeah, like a launch party. I started crying. I started crying. You like wouldn't make eye contact. And I was like, hey, hey, we're here. Anything anyone's talking about right now, it's not important. It's a non-issue because my pants are ripped. She went full dead in the eye and she was like.

Panicking? My mom was like, I'll give you my pants. And you were like, absolutely not. Because your outfit is directly attached to your ego. What did I end up doing? You had your mom bring you, like, buy and bring you pants within, like, 40 minutes. That bitch was... She did that with a broken foot. And she was there in, like, 20 minutes. Yeah. That was great. She's a hero. She really is. Have good people around you, I think, is the answer. Also...

Also for me, cause I've messed up a lot where like I went to a Hamptons party early on back in the day. And I, of course spilled the wine on whatever white outfit I had on. Great conversation topic. Also,

Lindsay Lohan's mom went up to me and gave me her scarf and like twisted it in the front. And she's like, I do this for my daughters all the time. They always spill things. Don't worry. And I said, thank you. Adopt me. So maybe you'll meet like a famous person in the process of. Yeah, I do think it's great conversation starter because like how many times a party? Hi, where are you from? What do you do? Instead of like, look at my labia hanging out. Look, I burnt myself.

Oh my God, like Becca split her pants at my wedding. People loved it. Relatable, adorable. Her little butthole was showing the whole wedding. - I forgot she did that. - Ooh, how to deal with a friend that's so honest that it's just fucking rude.

I think you go back at them. I think you have fun with it. You go back at them. Yeah, I think you're just like, wow, sometimes you're such a fucking bitch because they can take the brutalness of it. Be like, okay, yeah, I have short legs. Your dad hates you. Like, what do you want? Yeah, just like give it to them in return.

Yeah. So then like if they want to keep going, cool. We have this fun like badgering relationship or she realizes, holy shit, I think I offended that person. Yeah, I'm a little harsh. Or you just stop reacting to it. Like I noticed sometimes people just like want reactions out of people. So kind of just like don't give her the reaction she wants. I don't think I've ever had a friend like that.

also i think we grew up with like brutally honest moms so anything like we hear doesn't really phase us now is she just talking about us like maybe we are the honest people i feel like most of my friends were just very honest with each other yeah like also maybe like why is it hurting you so much what she's saying because you know it's true i'm not trying to take her side but if you just got them into a major fight

like is she too honest about something that's like super sensitive that's one thing but if she's just like being honest about like your outfit but you know yeah like you but like you know like maybe someone's throwing a party and instead of just enjoying it someone's like being nitpicky or like just like or is she doing it to try and like embarrass you in front of other people because then that I have a real issue with or just what you do is like

Tell her like you are so brutally honest. You hurt everyone's feelings in like kind of a funny way. And then whenever she does it, don't respond to just be like brutally honest Anna. Like just keep like like calling her out. Brutally honest Anna. So like she starts realizing like, holy shit. I actually. And she gets like embarrassed. Yeah. Like she has an unhealthy pattern and you're not being a bitch about it. You're just like another brutally honest Anna moment. Yeah. That's actually very good. OK. I followed him. He followed me.

We never met. Should I wait for him to DM me? Did you like six of his photos? Right. We're skipping a step, sweetie.

You can either like, I usually, my max is three, like three photos or whatever story he posts, regardless of what it is, you throw a DM in there. Cause then it's like, oh, you're responding off of like a photo. I've done that numerous times. And then they act like they DM'd you first and you're just like, okay, well I started this, but okay. Yeah. Sometimes like grid comments or likes are like a little public. Never grid comment.

Never grid comment. Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty. Don't grid comment. Even grid likes. It's a little like...

I don't know. Like, don't show him he's in your algorithm. Instead... I'm not into respond to a story with an emoji. No. It's got to be words. I'll do, like, LOL. Yeah. Like, a good LOL is perfect because you're, like... Because then they get it and they're, like, oh, she thinks I'm funny. Then they have to respond with something. Don't respond with a question because, still, that's, like, too thirsty. Even if it's, like, LOL or, like, hate this. Like, little things. Like...

Oh, my God. Like very chill, very just letting him know that, you know, he exists. The first time Craig and I ever talked was he DM'd me off of a story and said like, wow, that's so sick. And I just said, yeah, then you're together dating. So but yeah, don't be afraid to like give a little because like these dudes, there's just so much going on on Instagram. You have to be a little like obvious with it.

I love my boyfriend so much it hurts. However, I am so easily pissed off by things he says and I shut down in response. It's becoming an issue on our relationship. Any tips? You don't love your boyfriend so much. You literally hate him. You hate him.

She goes, except when he blinks, I want to punch myself in the throat. I think there is a difference between. No, I do believe that she does love him very much. But there is a difference between overall loving him and then like the day to day where you're like, you're so annoying. Like isn't the day to day what love is?

Yes, that's what I'm saying. So if you can't have like a day to day where you really love him, then I don't think you overall love him. You love like what he puts out to the world, but you don't actually love him if you're not like into the day to day and like certain things that he like says. Now, if the things that annoy you. We're savage. We're out here just ending relationships.

You don't love him. You don't. You don't. But like if you're in particular settings or it's with particular people where he's like saying things that annoy you, that's totally different. That's like an easy conversation to have. But if it's part of his like legit personality –

Then I don't think you would like really. But I feel like if you get embarrassed in public with him, it's like you're are you kind of just lying to yourself in person like you just tolerate him. And then when he's out and about, you realize like, oh, my God, he's embarrassing, but he's comfortable for you.

I'd love to know, like, what really annoys her, like, what he does that annoys her. Yeah, like, are you just in love with the idea of him, but then whenever he actually exists, you're like... Like, she literally says, I'm so easily pissed off by the things he says, and then I shut down. So you not only are annoyed by him, but you guys are not good at, like, fighting about it. That gives me anxiety. That is actually something I haven't realized until...

dating Craig we're very good at fighting we've gotten very good at being like okay no this is how I feel and this is what's like upsetting me and then like fighting it out and then

and not like screaming at each other over it. And, and that people, I really don't think work on that enough in a relationship because you have to fight. Like people are always like, well, if you really loved each other, then you wouldn't fight. No, you would just like be really bored with each other. Like you have to have a disagreement and argument. It keeps it. Then, you know, the other person cares. It's how you fight and how you get over it is what is important because that's, it's,

That's life like that. It'll always happen. It's a kind of like a cycle that you just have to keep improving Well, it's science everyone like after you get past the puppy dog phase you then get into the like boundary setting of the relationship where you each try to see your each other's boundaries and that's when most relationships end because someone's like well I don't fuck with this and then someone else is like well, I'm not moving and then you're like, okay, um

wish you well in your life yeah but but if you best if you fight out the boundaries and you get past it that means like oh you guys have set healthy boundaries if i get really mad and i'm fighting with craig i can think of the meanest things ever and you bet your bottom dollar i say them and then and like i've realized like i don't have to go for the jugular and be like no one in your life likes you every you know like i don't have to say the really mean things and that's

That's like important to learn too because you're like I do really love this person. I don't want to just like hurt their feelings except sometimes you do. I love that for you. That was the most Scorpio shit you've literally ever said. You go turns out I don't have to ruin their entire existence when we're fighting about whether we should get pancakes or not. So that is me living learning growing.

literally that for you she goes maybe I shouldn't decapitate his entire character because I've had boyfriends in the past be like you're really mean sometimes when you get mad me being like that's just who I am like get over it but with Craig I'm like oh I don't really want to be mean to you like that and so I worked on it okay last one

Should I tell my boyfriend to... Should I tell my boyfriend... Should I tell my boyfriend to delete his old pictures with his ex on Insta? I feel like... I feel like... Sometimes you do have to, though, because they don't know what...

The thing that you need to be looking for is when you do ask him the reaction that he has when you ask him that. Tell me because it's not like you're saying delete this photo, delete this memory that you've ever had. Throw it in archive out of respect, out of me that you are now moved on. And like now there will be pictures of me and you on your Instagram. If he has a real aversion to deleting them.

that's a red flag. Yeah, that's fucking weird. And he's going to give you like, but that's part of my life. That was my life. And it's like, okay, no, no, no, no, no machine gun Kelly. I don't really give a flying fuck. Like delete the goddamn picture.

I do think sometimes dudes to like rarely post on their Instagram. So like you could have dated her two years ago and she's like in the second row. True. So true. And then it just looks weird whenever he's about to post a picture with you. It's like, okay, so what you are like, are we in the sister wives club? Like what's going on? Yeah. But also you don't want to be dramatic. Like,

Like deleting it like as if like Fuck you to her Conversations like that I find best To not start it out With like

hey, like you should delete this. Like that's so weird. Like don't go into it like angry or like accusatory. Be like, you have to say like, hey, it kind of makes me like feel uncomfortable and I feel a little insecure about it and just like making me feel weird. And like, do you think you would want to like you could delete that? And he's going to be like, absolutely. You want to like make it like it was his idea that he's doing something to help you. Like kind of like, so what do you think about people leaving?

of their exes. And he'll be like, oh, no, things are kind of weird. And it's like, it's crazy because I noticed that he still picks up with Sarah. Yeah, and like it makes me uncomfortable. And it's like, doesn't it seem kind of weird? And he's like, oh, yeah, I never thought that. You know what? I've noticed. I've noticed that every time you want to like dog out a girl, you use an S name.

Something subconsciously is going on with S names. Stephanie. Stephanie. I don't fuck with Stephanie. Stephanie is my best friend from high school and she listens to the pod. And she's like, if you could tell Hannah to stop using the name Stephanie, it's really making me uncomfortable. Well, it's not my fault that you pit us against each other all the time. My best friend. My best friend Stephanie. My best friend. From high school. That's different. That's different.

Yeah, you're saying that I will never be the love of closeness that you and Stephanie are. And like, I don't mean to sound like a jealous bitch right now, but like. That is not true. Stephanie actively asks me about my bachelorette all the time and how like she can't wait to go with you. Really? Yeah. Are we planning it together? Yeah.

Okay, good. Actually, Stephanie and I get along really fucking well. You really do, too, because she does admin. She's so fucking good at admin. No, she's like a rock, I could tell. Yeah, she really is. She's such a sounding board. She gives me good energy. So, Stephanie, when I bitch about Stephanie's, it's not you. You're the queen of Stephanie's. Stephanie is the kind of friend that I'm scared to call her and tell her a situation because I know she's going to tell me exactly what.

what's going on so sometimes she'll text me and be like you never followed up on what happened are you nervous you are actually the queen of that yeah and i'm just like it's fine don't worry about it i'm gonna still be an idiot for a little and like we'll circle back and she's just like the queen of not responding and making a response everyone's like yeah i'm so like we've just been talking about that you know seriously

So she's like, you communicate with your non-responders. Sometimes I'll just be like, are you okay? And you won't respond. And I'll be like, so she's. So she's literally sucking his dick. Got it. I had to go on my own journey.

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Terms and conditions apply. You have to real quick do a dope documentary. Did you watch the Machine Gun Kelly documentary? No, what's it on? It's on Hulu. It's called like Something Pink. You really get a lens into Machine Gun Kelly. Really? And...

It definitely is like a huge PR stunt. Like he basically has his daughter in the beginning being like, even though I never saw my dad all the time, like he's amazing. He's so talented. He's so underrated. I love him so much. He basically just like owns who he is. Like he's just this like kind of like misfit, like kind of fit in, trying to be successful, wants to be loved. How he was just at a club and he like smashed a champagne bottle into his head.

So that's just machine. That is typical. That's just machine. You know, being he, he, he definitely like wants to get attention and tries really hard. And like, he's an idiot. I do have to say what was weird about the documentary is, um, is his girl, Megan Fox. Yeah. Sorry.

Megan was in it. Megan, if you're listening, we do apologize. We do apologize for that. She's in it a lot looking like stunning, but like doesn't say a word. Definitely doesn't pass the Bechdel test. I don't know if she chose to be like, this is about you, but like occasionally they'll show her giving like an inspirational quote or something, but he doesn't like, he should talk more to be like how she was a huge part about him blowing up.

I think. I mean, yeah. He basically is like, I've been working hard my whole life. I didn't just come out of nowhere. I've always loved rock. I love rap. I love music. I've been working my ass off. I'm obsessed with, I like drugs and I love partying and I love working hard. He says, I love drugs.

He does admit to like having some drug addictions going on and how he pushed people away. It's definitely like these, all these documentaries are starting to feel very similar, like PR stunty. And you're not having it because you're a true documentary person. I know what's good. You want the nitty gritty. I know what's good. You're not like, I can read between the lines. Yeah. But I do have to say he's like low-key hot. Yeah.

You've always had a real thing for him. I do. He's way skinnier than my type, but he has that stupid, annoying swag that I would fall for. He's not my type at all. He's funny. Is he funny? Yes. Maybe that's what you see. He is funny. He doesn't take himself that seriously. He's just kind of like...

Maybe that's why I've always picked Pete over him because I'm like, but I know he's funny. See, I feel like Pete could be like sweet and dark in real life. I like Machine Gun Kelly, I think is like so cringe, but like off stage, he's funny. Yeah, but he does talk about like how he's human and he's like, everyone thinks I'm cringe. Everyone thinks I'm a joke.

Like everyone makes fun of me. Everyone thinks I'm a loser. Like he, so you kind of feel like this dude's just trying to like. Okay, we like him. Yeah, he's, and also his fans, like they're like a lot of young people. He just like wants respect and he's like, whatever I do, no one respects me. They think I'm a joke. This is a Machine Gun Kylie stan pod.

I like kind of, but then I even like posted about it and the angry messages I was getting of like, ew, I hate this guy. I'd never watch it. I'd rather kill myself than watch this documentary. And I'm like, what did, let's be honest. What did Machine Kelly ever do?

besides like mr kelly ever do to you besides hurt himself right but besides like go through a journey that he just actively has been sharing with us and low-key like i like his song bloody valentine i do too i love that song she met my ex and out all this complicated yeah that was really good so like i kind of like him but there's any music producers listening

If anyone heard that, I am available this summer, actually. Crazy thing. But also, I don't him and Megan like, I don't know. He seems like so fucking annoying to date like a puppy. And Megan is like any really famous person is annoying to date. Oh, for sure. Even if you're also dating a really famous person.

Like I feel like there's certain things that are just probably so annoying. And I also didn't realize his whole life is touring and Megan just kind of follows him around to a lot of tours. And I guess she shoots also her own stuff. But like it's a lot of supporting him performing, getting drunk after celebrating. No, no, no. I want you to watch it and tell me next episode what you think. Like if I'm all of a sudden like want to fuck Machine Gun Kelly.

yeah or at least like maybe i'll watch it tonight you should you want me to feel bad tonight got it i will put that on let us know if you guys liked the advice segment i just feel like we connect with you guys when we do it yeah i like to do those every once in a while and i love like making at least a couple girls um break up with their boyfriends yeah it's um we love you so much thank you for giggling with us and we'll talk to you later