Giggling about flirting strategies, Jennifer Lopez, and Piers Morgan
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What is good? What is up? Giggly, giggly, gigglers. Guys, I feel like the gigglers have been just, like, out of control recently. Really? Tell me why. They've just been, like, really up in my DMs, and, like, I love them so much, but sometimes they yell at me, you know? Like...

Well, I have created this new sense of like trolldom around Hannah, which I've learned to embrace. But then I have the gigglers being like, hey, we're out here fighting for you. We're fighting with machetes. We're taking people down. And I'm like, I love that. But don't turn on me because I don't love that you have a machete. There was this one thing like my mom called me and she was like, oh, my God, this girl like commented something mean and like tweeted. And she goes, hopefully the gigglers see it. Yeah.

I'm like, mom, the gigglers aren't your henchmen. No, but the gigglers have thousands of other tweets they're dealing with, but they are fucking dealing with it. They're literally like full-time job. And they're also like, they're nurses. They're surgeons. They're teachers. They're fucking busy. They're engineers. And they're like, hey, in between taking someone's heart out, I've been fighting...

Twitter for you. I didn't realize how many gigglers we have that are lawyers that are like the see you in court thing. They're like, if you don't put it on a sweatshirt immediately, we will have beef. And they're like, I'll see you in court. If you don't put it on a sweatshirt immediately, I'll see you in court. And I was like, oh my god, I think I'm getting sued. Like...

I feel like you really become an adult when you get sued. Yeah. And I can't wait for it, kind of. But you don't want to go to jail for tax evasion. That's true. No, that's true. Yes. There's an in-between. We have so much to talk about because we were going to record yesterday and then all this shit went down in the news. So I'm actually so happy we recorded today. Me too. And also, I've been catching up on Rehospitalize of New Jersey. We have...

a lot to discuss. We have a lot. And I watched the Meghan Markle Oprah thing. I have so many thoughts. I did also. I did research for the first time. So that's going to be fun. That's really nice. And I started watching a Mormon documentary.

Anyway, we're going to start some advice for today. I love that. And this one hit me like real deep. Hit you right in the heart? Yeah. Liza Britton, my non-existent heart, said, how to deal with anxiety about anxiety. Wow. And it's real. And it's true. And it's real. Like that shit. Are you ever just like chilling and you're like, oh.

I hope I don't get anxiety about this. And then all of a sudden you're like, I just literally hurt my own feelings because now my anxiety is like, Hey, did you think about me? Here I am.

I have this you ever have a feeling where you think of something that gives you anxiety but then you forget the thought but then you're just left with the feeling and you can't get the feeling away because you don't know how to fix the thought because the thought isn't to the abyss pretty much every day of my life I just want to let people know if they don't Paige and I obviously we seem like laid-back people who just giggle all the time we both suffer from bad anxiety

Bad anxiety. And we, it comes out in like different, it manifests in different ways. But the number one way that it's similar is we just stay in bed. You know, like I just. I mean, people can call us lazy pieces of shit or whatever. But when I'm depressed and when I'm scared of a world around me, my safe haven is under my covers. But also, yeah.

We've got a lot of work done in bed. And I think that needs to be recognized. We've built an entire empire from a queen-size bed. Yeah, Giggly Squad was built in bed every night. Also, if people are confused about this season of why there's so much anger and stuff, I just want people to... I just want to give a hint. Think of the origin of Giggly Squad and how Giggly Squad's done well. Imagine if we had a different name. We were poop pals. I was thinking that!

That's what I was thinking when I was like, do I say it? Is that funny? Someone sent me a meme of like a toilet and they're like, you're disgusting. No, I'm not kidding. It was like one for like two people and she was like, you and Hannah need this. Well, I actually went on Call Her Daddy this last week. Oh yeah. How was that? Did you listen? I haven't listened yet. I've been like, I've been drunk for 19 days.

It's a whole thing. We'll talk about that later. You wouldn't have enjoyed it as much. Yeah, we'll talk about it. But I talked about you like 75% of the time per usual. And she was talking about like my engagement, like photos and stuff. And I was like, not all of us are gifted with supermodel fingers like Paige. I need to figure out how to make my ring look fucking good with a nub. You're like, I just want to see hands that look like mine. You know, to know that I can do anything I want to do.

I need to see myself to believe in myself. Yeah.

So then the gigglers have been nonstop sending me photos of baby hands with rings on them. They're insane, but they mean well and they want to make you feel better. They do. They do. How do I find someone at 34 with Crohn's disease? As soon as I open up about it, they run. I don't know the extent of Crohn's disease, but I do shit myself. And you can't drink, I don't think. I don't love drinking. And also whenever I get anxiety, I shit myself.

I think it's actually like my friend, Erica Sparrow. She went on my podcast, Burning in Hell, and she has herpes. And she basically was like,

You're not... You don't tell them you have herpes day one. Like, if you have a certain disease that, like, is judged in a terrible way by society, it's, like, first date you don't tell them that, like, you're fighting with your dad. Or first date you don't tell them, like, about your athlete's foot. I can't believe you just compared herpes and Crohn's disease. The girl that wrote this and who has Crohn's is probably gonna be like, fuck you, Hannah. No.

No, no, but like there's so many things that people can have and she just explained to me that like I'm not lying to them by not first date being like, by the way, I have herpes. Find out if you like them first before you open up about the things you're insecure about. Find someone who's lactose intolerant because that is bullshit. And I could never date someone who is lactose intolerant. So just be like, bro, you can't even eat cheese and you're going to come at me because I'm shitting myself. Fuck off. Fuck off.

I had a lot of trouble with a guy who was kosher because he can't have cheese and dairy together. So we couldn't get a cheeseburger, couldn't have a bacon, egg and cheese in the morning when you're hungover. And I started to...

feel misunderstood i dated someone who was also kosher and i didn't know what kosher was and i was like but i don't get it what did you think it was i didn't understand it i was like so you're running around about the town you go i thought it was a salt i was like and you're just i thought it was a kind of salt literally i was like so you're just out here not eating lobster what are you broke

No, but then also they can't have dairy after meat. So that meant that every time we were going to get dessert, he was like, no, I'm good. And I'm like, now I'm feeling insecure. But also we appreciate religion. We appreciate different cultures. It was just hard for people like us who are disgusting. I wouldn't wrap my brain around it.

New advice. My ex keeps saying I'm the L-O-H-L, but no action. What's L-O-H-L mean? Love of his life. Oh, I thought it was late onset hearing loss. Damn it. He's like, bitch, you can't hear, but I'm not going to do anything about it. Um...

Okay, this is classic manipulative shit of a guy saying... This is like when Des said, I'm gonna marry you. I said, okay, then marry me. And then he put a ring on it. If a guy is saying he's the love of your life, but not doing shit, he's just not...

not ready for you and keeping you on the back burner which is not good enough and not good for your mental health unless if you're bored and you just want to keep talking to him i once had a guy be like but like you're it you're the one like i just need some time like you're it so you know what i did i had sex with his best friend and i said fuck you that reminds me of those tiktoks where guys are like oh like she's just she's just my friend i don't like her like that and then the girls are like then hit her with your car

i don't care about her like that then hit her with your car i don't i don't care about her at all then hit her with your car she's just my friend she's like my sister then stab her no guys are like yeah i literally don't give a shit about her at all murder her then murder her i'll help you hide the body murder her i love that so much

I'm going to just start saying that to people. Then hit her with your car. Okay. Feelings were there and mutual, but now he's getting his shit together. And she put that in quotations. And I'm not in that.

interesting yeah i love that i love that that reminds me of i'm not gonna name names but guys like i'm just like still hung up on my ex but i'm gonna call you every day and then suddenly he's like okay now i'm over my ex and now um you're you're not like and it's like okay okay i don't mean to sound like a bitch but like maybe i do everyone has an ex everyone has a past stop being a fucking pussy about it

Like I'm over it. I'm so done with it. I'm so, I'm so done with it. Also it, cause it's guys being like, Oh my God, like this girl was mean to me when I was 13 or like my like cat died when I was six. And now like, I just have trouble with like intimacy and it's like, it's like my ex really fucked me up. I'm like, what'd she do? He's like, well, I cheated on her. I'm like, cool.

Oh, dating an older man, how to deal with the judgment coming from others. Oh, fuck. Absolutely. Fuck off. Yeah. It's funny because no one talks about this, but Luke and Sierra have basically the same age difference. They're like 14 years or something. Oh, wow. And Des, but like no one talks about theirs, but like Des has gray hair. So I think it makes it more of a thing. Wait, I never even noticed that. Yeah. Des mentioned it. I was like.

mind fucking blown wow does went to college for sure yeah he went to college it's annoying he's smart and i tried out smart him it doesn't work all the time which makes me upset but that's another story for another time okay i like my job but i have debilitating anxiety every work day what is up with me you don't like your job

No one actually likes their job. But this is the thing. She might like her job, but like her coworkers triggering her or like the schedules triggering her or someone in her life doesn't approve of the job. Like there could be a lot of variables. Or like she feels like she has to like her job. So she's like made it in her mind like she likes it, but she doesn't really like it. Paige, that was brilliant. Thank you.

That was literally so smart. Yeah, like, you know when you want to like a guy so bad that you're like, I like him, I like him, but why am I getting panic attacks every week when he says he loves me? And why do I avoid sex with him all the time? Oh my God. First of all, I feel attacked. Please don't attack me on a podcast that I co-host with you. But that was triggering for sure. And now I have anxiety. Thank you. My day is ruined.

I made it to 10 30 a.m. which is better than yesterday oh my god oh this is a good one my father-in-law always thinks he's right and it's his way or the highway how do I handle this now look

If you're on reality TV, you fight that man. You fight till you talk. I recently saw this thing from comedian Lonnie Love and she's like, if I was on reality TV, she's like, I talk about his mom. I talk about his grandma. I talk about his cousin. I talk about his friend. I talk about his sister. I talk about his other mom.

You fucking go at him and you let him know he can't fuck with you. But in real life, he's your father-in-law. Let him be a blowhard. Let him think that he's right about everything. Find someone else in the room who feels the same way as you and just make eye contact about it the whole time and then get called Giggly Squad when you laugh at him. Don't you feel like you fight so different from being on reality TV? Yeah, like I try to get more concise sentences.

Yeah, like I pinpoint like bullet things. And then you repeat it. So like it makes the cut. And you keep like asking them questions. You're like, what do you mean by that? What do you mean by it? And then you're like thinking how they're coming off. And you're like, does anyone else see this? Do people believe this? Do people believe this? Or like I'm texting my friends and I'm like, I think we should have a conversation about it. And they're like, shut the fuck up. You yelled at me when you were drunk. And the lighting needs to be good. Yeah.

and I'm like preferably if you have a ring light while I'm yelling at you and I only wear white when I get into fights thank you while you're really tan do you ever watch a scene that or like watch yourself on tv and it ends up being like a a good thing that you do and you're like I really wish the lighting was better than that or you're like I don't love that top against that backdrop and I wish I thought that through when I was getting called a lazy piece of shit

I'm like, am I serious with my hair like that? So true. What's your biggest outfit regret on Summer House? Oh, my God. I think it's one of the best questions I've ever asked you. Because I feel like you put a lot of thought into it and you normally nail it. But I know within you, you have high standards, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Wow. I'm going to have to think on that and, like, answer that on the next pod. Because I know I have an answer. I just, like, I need to look back. Because there's definitely times where I've been like,

Do you have a brain? Like, do you even know what fashion sense is? Someone should take away your blue checkmark. You absolute idiot. People gave you a ton of hate for our first reunion, to which I was very upset about because most reunions people get an aesthetic. Like Portia said that like they did like a goddess thing or like Giselle had like yellow theme. We're like we were out. We didn't even know how to film a reunion at home.

So Paige served a fucking fashion look that especially if you were sitting there, people would have seen like all of it.

and i think it just looked very different than maybe like what all of us brought why do you think the hate came because i don't think that like jenny in wisconsin knows what the fuck she's talking about let's not come for the badgers let's not fucking come for the badgers i only did wisconsin go for minnesota not wisconsin okay wisconsin because people actually like know that we love wisconsin but like okay fuck you jennifer don't you have beef with iowa go back to iowa we're

people don't like well i'm not allowed in the state anymore so oh my god because i thought it looked gorgeous it was gorgeous it was gorgeous thank you for understanding that also like lilac who doesn't like a fucking lilac lilac lilac whatever purple light purple you got it right okay oh my god this is a good one

How to tell a guy that it's not working without him hating you. Oh, it's so hard. It's so hard. They're going to hate you. You just have to like you have to suck it up and know that like for at least six months they're going to be like, fuck you.

I've told this to Paige before because we've been worried about that in certain times. And I was like, look, all is fair in love and war. You saying that someone is not making you happy or you're not happy is you respecting yourself. And the way they react to it is on them. But like they need to empathize with your situation. Like would they stay in something? Unless if you've been like really purposely leading them on or using them to get fame on reality TV, then it's different. However...

that was that wasn't a reference to anything going on with you it was more to me yeah did you get that okay anywho opinion on boyfriend having a girl best friend oh we talk about this all the time and i feel like i always go back and forth where like sometimes i'm like oh my god yeah i'm so secure in our relationship like you can have your girl best friend but deep down fuck off no no no no no no i'll see that girl in court

We talked about it last time, but I wanted to bring it up again because there was a TikTok. You know where TikTok's? It says, this girl was like, reasons your boyfriend should be allowed to have a girl best friend. And you know how they like point to all these different reasons? She started pointing and just nothing came up. Nothing.

So true, though. It was great because that bitch got me. I was, like, really on the edge of my seat. I was like, ooh, I can't wait. Here's the thing, too. I've been the girl best friend before. And, like, my guy friends have gotten girlfriends. And I've taken it upon myself to step back. Like, go hang out with your girlfriend. Like, unless... And, like, if I don't become friends with the girl... And most of the times, like, I don't because it's just they're in different groups. They start hanging out with her friends. Like, I'm not...

texting him at 1 a.m it's inappropriate it's called boundaries like i told you like andrew and i used to talk three times a day on the phone because he was my guy best friend but then it's not the same when you start dating someone else so like we still talk we still text it's not the same right and it's yeah you're not to be a friend you're not talking to them past nine really yeah you're not checking in multiple times over the phone no you're not facetiming all day

Like, no. That's why it's funny when people say they're just friends. Anyway. Oh, OK. Help. Spring fashion. What are we doing? Where are we doing? Have you thought about this? No. Are you prepared? No. Spring is around the corner, bitch. I'm not prepared. I feel like you are mastering winter fashion right now. So you're just not in that mindset. Do you want to give us? Yeah, I'm so in like a winter mindset fashion mindset.

mode right now but here's what i will do for the gigglers on our next podcast i will round up some things that i think you definitely need for the spring perfect perfect perfect perfect okay this one's kind of crazy okay tips on introducing sex toys into your sex life with your partner well definitely consent don't just like stick a dildo up his ass definitely have a conversation about it

So I'm just like, he starts hearing like, and he's like, what the fuck is it? Could you imagine? Okay. I've actually never used anything before with a guy. It definitely like comes with someone who you've been with for a while, I think. And just letting them know like, oh, like sometimes guys like to like watch you. Sometimes you can coordinate like doing it together. But it's funny. I was talking to our father, Alex Cooper, about this. And I was like, end of the day, you could do tons of freaky shit.

But nothing is better than just the like quickie of just like pulling your pants down, bending over and you don't have to worry where like the fucking battery is, where your leg is. You're getting twists and turns. Like sometimes just like whatever happened to just having sex normally. Just back to basics. Back to basics. But however, I definitely think introducing toys is a lot of fun. I have trouble because I have so many sex toys because I represent a lot of sex toys on Instagram. Yeah.

I'm the queen of the dildo on Instagram. So it's like picking a nail polish for me. I like can't decide. And the next thing you know, like I'm not, I don't want to have sex anymore because I'm all confused about like, do I want this one or that one? The blue one, the green one, the long one. Yeah. And next thing you know, I'm anxious that I have anxiety about having sex. And then I'm like, oh no, this is a new issue that I need to worry about. I also think there's, yeah, I also think there's like a time frame. Like if it's like your first or second time with this man, like,

Maybe hold off just for a second. Let's test the waters first. Yes, testing the waters is important. I'm also always scared that he's going to like really, really like it and be like jamming up my butt. And I'm going to be like, I don't love that. Or you might. There's something about a guy who has like putting your finger in a guy's butt. I know I tried to avoid this because some people got upset in the comments before. But you never know what it's like to insert. But it's inevitable. We have to talk about it. Yes, but too late.

To insert something into a guy and it feel good. Like when else do you like penetrate something? Like you feel like you're actually fucking him. Oh my God. Okay. This is a good one. How do I ask the guy who lives below me to fuck? Oh,

That's so good. This is a you one. Oh my God. How would you pull it off? You gotta just keep running into him. But what do you do when you run into him? Because I would say something stupid. You have to be like, we should get a drink. Or you invite him up and be like, do you want to have a drink? And then like, 10 minutes later,

10 minutes later you'll be making out on your couch also like guys don't say no to sex like they just don't yeah you it's more thinking like do you want to be fucking a guy who you have to see in the elevator every that's what i was just thinking like what if he's so weird and like you hate it so much and now you've like now you have to move you know think about it first moving is expensive so really think this through because you'll have to move

Moving is the highest anxiety thing ever. Yeah. Or you force him to move. Yeah. Or you find someone to murder him. Or you just burn the whole building down. Get your security deposit back. Someone said, I fall a lot when I drink. Any advice you can give me? Okay, you're the one who wears like high, high heels. Do you fall? No, never. I think it's because my mom was, I was in kindergarten. My mom was like, wear these heels. Okay.

I feel like I've just, like, I... My mom, one time in high school, made all of my girlfriends line up because none of them could walk in heels, and she taught them all how to walk in heels. And my one friend, Stephanie, like, will never forget it. I think that I need, like, a week of boot camp with Kim. What she would do for me, I think, is, like...

I think Kim needs her own reality show called Kim's Boot Camp and all the girls come out just looking like you. She needs one so badly. Like she's like, this is how you whip up this dish really quickly. Yeah. Yeah. Everything. Oh my God. Because I still don't really know how to walk in heels. I had a really bad fall that I still will never forget. We were in Wisconsin. I think we were hanging out with like the basketball guys and I was definitely like, like,

Not in my, like, chillest mode. And I was sitting on a bar stool. Yeah. And I dropped something. So instead of getting off the bar stool, I thought I could just reach my little nubby hands down to get to it. Where I fell off the whole bar stool. The bar stool fell. It was a mess. I laughed it off. I was fine. But my ego was very hurt. Oh, also, if we're talking about falling, I, um...

I was giving a speech in a restaurant to like a ton of people. And then I went to sit down and I just missed the chair. And I just fell flat. The real question is, why were you giving a speech in a restaurant to a ton of people? I think it was like, it was like my birthday or something. I was like, thanks for coming. Fell flat on my ass. And then some random person was like, well, her name's definitely not Grace. And I was like, well, you're a fucking idiot. Fuck you. Wait, that's funny though. That was my comeback.

That guy said that to me and I was like, everyone's a comedian. I'm going to use that. That's like such a dad joke. Oh, God. Should we do front page news? Yeah. I feel like we should start with JLo and A-Rod because I'm foaming at the mouth about it.

Yeah. Why did I just see an article saying that they didn't break up? I feel like they did. No, they totally did. Because if Page Six writes about it, then I think it's gospel. I'm like, the Lord has spoken and they broke up.

Apparently they like have all these assets together, which I think is crazy when you're not actually married. And did you know that they were trying to buy the New York Mets? No. Yeah. So they were trying to buy the New York Mets and everyone's saying really we're a business partnership too. Yeah. I mean, they were just probably like going in on shit together.

But they lost out to like some billionaire businessman and everyone's like, thank God. But I guess they've been having like all these emergency meetings because they also have like a ton of real estate in New York and Miami. And they bought a $33 million mansion on Star Island in Miami together in August. They also like invested in a bunch of companies together, him and hers, and some like fit plan thing, whatever. Yeah.

Here's what's really happening. I feel like JLo just realized that A-Rod is the biggest fucking piece of shit ever. And also, I don't think he's hot. No, I was always a Derek Jeter girl. I never messed with the A-Rod stuff. So January Jones comments and said it's been a year. But now TMZ just dropped an article that says they're not broken up and they're working through things and that no third party was involved.

So like I think they like just hated the press that they got from the breakup where everyone's just like it's Madison. It's Madison. So now they're like we want to redo this press release another time. Yeah. Like there's no third party involved. You're right. There's 10 parties involved. There's a million parties involved. There's 400 parties involved and they're all blonde. They broke up because he probably had a party. If you've learned anything from Giggly Squad it's that if you're a brunette and your dude is into blondes.

Break up with him. He will never marry you. That shit is not real.

Did I hear you're shopping for a car? Because I've been at it for ages. Such a time suck, right? Not really. I bought it on Carvana. Super convenient. Oh, then comes all the financing, research. Am I right? Well, you can, but I got pre-qualified for a Carvana auto loan in like two minutes. Yeah, but then all the number crunching and terms, right? Nope. I saw real numbers as I shopped, found my dream car, and got it in a couple of days. Wait, like you already have it?

Yep. Go to Carvana.com to finance your car the convenient way. It's my favorite time of year. It's summer going into fall. It's the best fashion part of the year. It's my favorite season. And sometimes shifting your summer wardrobe to fall can be a little bit of a challenge. But luckily, we have Quince, which offers timeless and high-quality items that I absolutely adore. And the best part about it is it's

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Giggly. I don't know if you guys have noticed from my Instagram stories, but I've basically switched all my loungewear over to Skims. I was obviously obsessed with their bras and underwear, but now I really can't get enough of their soft lounge collection. I have their soft lounge tank with

with their matching lounge fold over pant. I'm absolutely obsessed. Not only do I wear it inside, but I actually wear it to travel a lot too. I noticed in my drawer the other day that basically all my bras and underwears are skims, but also now all of my t-shirts and my loungewear is skims. I've pretty much cleared out all my lounge sets after I moved. I just like got rid of everything. I was like, I don't need all of these random sweatpants and sweatshirts.

and really replaced everything with Skims because I know it's always going to look good, and I know it always feels amazing. And you know how much I love laying in bed, so if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan. Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com, now available in sizes XXS to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select Podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop-down menu.

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So save time and money by getting it all in one place with Thrive Market. Go to thrivemarket.com slash giggly for 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's T-H-R-I-V-E market.com slash giggly. Thrivemarket.com slash giggly. Dude, but it's crazy. And then they go, no third party was involved. And then they wrote, is this like when she said she uses olive oil on her skin and no cosmetic treatments?

Wait. This actually reminds me of something. I was talking to this guy and like we just like started talking about like, oh, what's your type? And he was like, well, typically like blonde. And I just like stopped him right there. And I was just like, we should be friends. Yeah. We should be friends. A hundred percent. Because one, I don't trust you. And two, you have zero taste. Yeah.

Did I go platinum blonde in college for a second? Yes. And did I just realize it wasn't right for me? How uncouth. Just kidding. We love blondes, but, like, we're brunettes. So, like, people are posting a lot of Ben Affleck stuff. And they're posting one of, like, Ben just, like, rubbing her ass in a bikini and just, like, loving her. But also, Ben's not doing too great either, guys. Let's just, like, calm down for a second. The craziest thing that I, like, I just really can never wrap my brain around is that there's actual men out there cheating on JLo and, like, Beyonce. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm running about the town looking like this, thinking I'm going to find someone who only loves me. But guys, this is a lesson for everyone. Oh, is this a mental health moment? This is our mental health moment. Thank you for sensing it. Like Kim Kardashian, rich, gorgeous, done everything she can to be the most perfect physical figure in the world. Like J-Lo, whatever. They're single.

It's not because they can't find someone to love them. It's because they're waiting to find the right person. So if you're single and you're feeling lonely, it's not because you can't find someone to love you. You haven't chosen to be with anyone. Right. No, like you can find a ton. Like I'm always like, oh my God, I'm so single. Like I never can get a boyfriend, blah, blah, blah, whatever. It's because, wait, I just lost my train of thought. It's because you don't respond to men when they text you.

That's because you block guys who give you affection. I don't like I don't save anyone's phone number. And I'm like, I numbered you. I think number three. I can't remember who you are. Oh, that's the hardest part about dating a couple of guys is like I actually get all my conversations mixed up and I can't tell who I've told. Have you ever been talking to like multiple guys and you say something to one of them and you're like an inside joke, but you quickly realize it was something with the other guy.

I've done that so many times. I've done it. Oh my God, me and my friend. Sorry, it's a joke. Me and my friend. Yeah. I'm like, oh my God, remember like we went there and he's like, we didn't go there. And I'm like, I'm so toxic about it. And I twist it around and I'm like, so you don't remember. How could you not remember?

So you don't listen to me ever? Ever. You don't listen to me. And in my head, I'm like, fuck, that was with Brian. The worst is when I go on like a 10 minute rant or story about something. And he's like, you literally told me this three days ago. And I'm like, wrong, Ryan. I'm sorry. Wrong, Ryan. You should have stopped me two minutes in. But I appreciate you. Thank you for letting me vent again. I'm like, yeah, I'm really passionate about this. And sometimes I need to talk things out. Yeah, just turn on them. So you're not letting me vent when I'm upset. Okay.

Because you think it's repetitive? You think I'm boring? Like, what are you trying to say? Listen to me when I talk, you fucking asshole. How am I supposed to let you have sex with me if you can't even listen to a story that you heard before? Grow up. And then I started texting my friend and I'm like, oh my God, you won't believe what I just did. You know, actually, this is Jazzy John.

We were like madly in love and we were, it was like a month in and we were in a bay in the water and we're just like holding each other. And he looked at me and he called me his ex-girlfriend's name. And like, he really, it was like a really honest mistake because he was with her for like four years or something. And he just obviously was feeling comfortable with me. And then I was like, it's a guy thing like could have started a fight for a week, but I was just like, it's okay. But I've never forgotten it.

The scars never healed? I've never done that, but I have had ex-boyfriends call me and be like, I called her Paige. And in my head, I'm like, fuck yeah, you did, bruh. You're so conscious of speaking real loud. And it's such a high feeling. I feel bad for the girl. I feel bad for the real girlfriend. But deep down, I'm like, he still loves me. He still loves me. Also, this is a relationship thing, so gigglers, because Paige is...

not in a relationship tell me if you feel the same way i'm just kidding so you don't have a boyfriend sorry you don't have a boyfriend when you're with your boyfriend 24 7 i like we call each other like babe or baby yeah then you hang out with other people you ever accidentally call them babe yeah i did it the other night babe i don't i did to my dad i was like babe and then i was like oh no

Because, you know, like it's just like you're just so used to be like, babe, but I don't. Oh, OK. I have a question because some people are only babe people and some people are baby people. So I love being called baby, but only when it's just the two of us. Like if we're in a group of people, if you call me baby, I'm like, I don't like that.

I only want babe in public, but when we're alone, I want it to be baby. You fucking nailed it. And you should write a thesis on that because I don't know why you're so right, but you've never been more right in your life. But also, I had a guy who I called him babe once and he was like, oh, are we that couple? We call each other babe. And I was like, you have intimacy issues.

There's also people don't talk about it enough when you are talking to a guy and you just start talking and you get to the stage where you start calling, who drops the first babe? And do you do it in person? Do you do it in a text? I like to start off in a text

And only write the letter B and then again B, like BB. And it's like, oh, yeah, BB. I didn't know what BB was at first. I was like BB gun. What is that? But it's like the cool. Yeah, it's like BB. Do what you want with that. And let's see how you respond. I love you planning C. Look at you freaking gardener. You should go on Farmers Only.

I feel like with Des, like, I'd call him baby. I'd be like, oh, you're my baby. You're the cutest little baby. And then he'll call me that. Like, we're disgusting. So I don't even want to get into that. What's next on Front Page News? Oh, my God. I forgot we were even doing it. You go, who?

From what? Okay, let's talk Meghan Markle, Prince Harry. So I watched the whole thing. Let me just get all my thoughts out first. I've always gone back and forth on Meghan. I like her. I don't like her. I like her. I don't like her. I was so pissed that they left the royal family. I was like, this bitch just ruined everything. Thousands of years. I watched the Oprah documentary. I've never fucked with her harder.

Than after this documentary. Because also I'm a Princess Diana stan. I think that what happened to Princess Diana was exactly happening to Meghan Markle. Princess Diana just had no one to help her, like, bring it to light. And Meghan has Harry.

And it was also like watching it. It was about safety. Like the fact that they weren't giving their son a title, I think is crazy. And like weren't giving him security. And also because we love a mental health moment. I don't care if you literally live in a ditch or

Or if you are a billionaire, like the phrase more money, more problems, telling someone saying like, I'm thinking these crazy thoughts in my head and I can't be left alone. If someone says that, how the fuck are you going to look at that person and be like, probably not.

Probably not. And did we not watch the Princess Diana like documentaries in the crown where like she literally was so unhappy with the situation? Like it doesn't they say it doesn't matter where you are to your width. And if you're surrounded by people who are not protecting you or don't care about you or spreading rumors, I mean, I'm not going to lie.

I'm not trying to compare a situation, but when she was like, when everyone thinks a type of way about you from what they see from the media, that shit is so...

I mean, like people commit suicide all the time from something that's like Caroline Flack from Love Island. We have to talk about that. Like she literally was getting bullied online because of a situation that happened with her boyfriend that the media like ran with and killed herself when she had the most incredible job as a host and was like so famous and in this relationship killed herself to then there's a new host of Love Island and people are bullying her now. And it's like, stop this.

obviously Meghan Markle is in a different situation than the host in Love Island but still Sophie Turner like put out a tweet the other day and she was like Meghan Markle probably isn't going to see like your mean comments on her pictures but anyone in your life who's having like mental health problems and it's

probably more than half of the people in your life are never going to come to you when they feel like, you know, because it's like Megan's not going to see it, but your friends are probably going to see those comments. Also, another thing, Bethany tweeting. Shut the fuck up. Why was she doing that? Bethany was tweeting like a crazy person. It's also like,

Some things I just feel like you don't need to comment on. Like there have been front page news stories where I'm just like, I don't need to comment on that. You know, like I don't know. I mean, I live by like, I don't know. Like I don't know these people. We no one knows except them. But I also want to say further with suicide.

It's clearly not logical. Right. So don't try to make logic out of why this person would not have wanted to commit suicide. It's an illogical thought to take your own life based on like deep mental health stuff. So like stop trying to be like, well, A plus B equals she'll never do it. No, no, no, no. Like you guys know what anxiety is. It's not logical. And it's also like just them like being.

people telling them to like suck it up and like this is your... No. Did you not feel like it was kind of like Andy Cohen should pop out for a reunion moment when she was like, I actually didn't make her cry. She made me cry. And I was like...

Okay, go and watch Amazon. I was waiting for Megan to pull out like text receipts that she had printed and Oprah being like, let me see those, honey. Well, what do you think about William and Kate in this situation? Oh, I just like I look at it from like a sibling standpoint. Like if my brother came to me and was like, dude, like I feel like this is how I feel. And if I was just like, fuck off, like I just couldn't imagine doing that to my sibling. Like, okay, yeah, you guys are like the royal family. But at the end of the day, like that's

that's your brother and he's having a tough time like why don't you fucking help i also just don't understand the royal family like i was like wait so they don't what do they do they're just like really important lineage wait no i was watching it and i was like oprah can you ask what it means when they're like we're a working member of the family what what is it what work does that mean what do you guys do uh

But then it's funny because I love people being like, oh, Megan's like so greedy. Like she wants to get this and she wants to get that. Oh, if you were Megan, you wouldn't want to make money and get fame. Like unless you're in her situation, shut the fuck up. The one thing that I was like, Megan, that's probably a lie. Was she was like, I didn't Google my husband before. Bitch, I Googled a mailman if I'm going to date him. Like, please. No,

It's like just out of safety before you're going to date with a guy, Google his ass because you will find things sometimes that you don't want to find and you will prevent a lot of drama. I was talking to a guy and he asked me straight up. He was like, did you Google me? And I said, yeah. And I said, and I found your ex-girlfriend. And he goes, you want to know what? Thank you for being honest. And I was like, yeah, no shit, bro. Obviously, I'm Googling you. Like, I mean, I want to know. I lost a guy once, though. I lost a guy in college. This Wisconsin hockey player who came to my dorm and

And my computer was open and it was a Google search of him. And the first like five links were clicked. Like, you know, the first five links are like a different color. So that happened. And I don't know how I got out of it. But let's just say I didn't. I didn't get out of it. He is off somewhere. We never talked again. He has a nice family somewhere in Wisconsin. Yeah. You're Googling. Also, like people being like she wanted to be the princess so bad. Every fucking girl wants to be a princess. OK. Yeah.

Like get off her dick. Like I'm so sick of it. I know. She wants to be a princess. Like you're on the couch eating chips off your chest. Don't judge other people for wanting to be a princess. Also, it's not her fault she wanted to be a princess. It's fucking Disney movies. I was just going to say that. I was just going to say that. Hell yeah. We grew up. Not her fault. We grew up watching Disney movies. Yes, I want to be a princess.

They've been shoving it down our throat that to be the happy in your life, you have to get saved by a fucking prince. Turns out it wasn't as fun as she thought it would be. And she was like, Disney lied to me. So I think she should sue Disney. Disney, see you in court. See you in court, Disney. See you in court. So anyway, so I'm obsessed with Meghan Markle. I love the way that Prince Harry loves her. I was just like watching him look at her when she was speaking to Oprah. Also, like how fucking cool. Just like Oprah interviewing you, you know? Also, Oprah...

the shit. She's actually such a good interviewer because she was still... Oprah won that interview. She had the coolest glasses. She's just such a fucking empire and powerful person. Her facial reactions to everything, I was just like... When she goes, what? What? I was waiting for her to be like, queen? Look at the camera and be like, queen? I'll see you in court. Like...

I was like, absolutely go off, Oprah. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks.

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My next story is Lady Gaga is in an upcoming movie, House of Gucci. And I was like, wait, what is like House of Gucci? Like what is going on? Oh, I thought you said Cucci. I was like, oh. Okay, so this Italian socialite who was...

I can't say the name. Her name's like Crazy Town, USA. I don't know. Who is married to like basically Mr. Gucci. I didn't know that she had hired a hitman to kill him. Wait. So that's what like the movie is about. Is there a Netflix doc on this first for me to prepare? I don't think so.

So he was, like, divorcing her, and she was, like, diagnosed with a brain tumor the following year, and then she was, like, trying to have her husband assassinated. But she's pissed that Lady Gaga didn't meet her first before she started doing the movie, and it's like, ma'am, you're unstable. Ma'am.

Ma'am, you're in court right now. Like, you're busy in court. I can't meet you because you tried to murder everyone. But, like, I can't wait to watch this movie. Someone said to me the other day, doesn't Lady Gaga look like a thousand different people? Like, she never looks the same. I know. I kind of miss her old look. But, yeah, she can transform her look so easily. And she could work brunette. Everyone said I looked like Lady Gaga in...

The Bradley Cooper movie with her like, oh, my God. Yeah. I was sending it to me. I didn't know. I miss like meat dress. Lady Gaga. A hundred thousand. You know, like I always when I think Lady Gaga, I think meat dress. I think of the bangs, you know, the bangs with just like the huge heels. Lady Gaga has one of the best quotes that I've ever. And I saw this quote like a couple of years ago. And I out of a hundred people in a room. No, no. So fuck you, Hannah. No, that's not it. I know which one it is.

well i'm gonna say it to the gig it's my story let me have a fucking moment you're the one engaged let me have my own moment one time and that's the issue and that's the real issue here so stop projecting your shit onto me fucking a i know i know that when hannah's hand gets higher than her head in a fight she's pissed absolutely pissed i'm like we're not gonna get a rodeo out when

When I get a lasso, that shit, you're fucked. She's basically at Coachella here at the EDM stage, and she is ready to fucking rain. Am I going to light her up? Okay, sorry for interrupting. She has a quote, and I saw it a couple years ago, and I think about it an odd amount of times during the day. She said that an ex-boyfriend told her that she was never going to be famous, she was never going to be successful, and she turned around and said to him...

One day you're not going to be able to walk into a fucking deli without seeing me or hearing about me. And I've just been like, absolutely go off. That shit gave me chills. I love it so much because I have a specific ex-boyfriend who literally can't stand that I have any form of like anything. And non-ex-boyfriends just meant in my life.

Oh, okay. I have something I have to talk about. Okay. My hair's been gotten wilder over the course of this podcast. Am I okay? I look like Cindy Lou Who. This is like egregious. Anywho, this is- You love the word egregious. I love it. Do you know what it means? Not really. Okay. So we watch Salt Lake City, right? So you think that makes us like, basically like we understand Mormon culture. No, we're Mormon. Yeah. We're basically Mormon. Yeah.

I am. I feel like I am Lisa Barlow. I would say I'm Meredith Marks, except I'm not Meredith Marks. Like, I feel like aesthetically we could pull it off, but like, I'm not that classy. And like, I don't say I'm disengaging when someone comes at me. Never disengaged in my life. Literally never disengaged in your life. So there's a new Netflix documentary called

Okay.

so that's like not long barely two generations it's easy to find like historical documents because it's pretty recent it's like like catholicism you could be like oh that shit got lost like you just have to believe it but with this like people legit find documents so there's this whole story about this guy who found this like golden book and it told him to like spread mormonism or whatever so an angel brought him to the golden book so then this this um sheet came out that

this story that said it was actually a white salamander that brought him to the book and people fucking freaked out but I was confused I was like

wait, what's more believable? I feel like a white salamander is more believable. But people were basically like, we can't trust our religion because there's too many stories. And they call it the white salamander document. Then all these other documents came with different stories. And basically, people just started getting killed off who were associated with the stories. The church was buying the documents. And then people were just getting blown up in their car and dying. And it was the people who were finding all the historical documents. So it's

See you in court. See you in court. Literally see you in court. What is this on? Like, where did you watch it? You found this such interesting. Oh, is it new? Yeah, it's new. Like, it was like the first thing that popped up. Oh, like a Netflix original. Yeah. Yeah, it's cool right now. Like, it's in. I'm going to tell you something. That's why I love Netflix and that's why I hate Hulu. Because I know I'm going to go on to Netflix tonight. It's going to pop right out. Amazing. You know? Like, Hulu, track me more. Know me better. 100%.

Well, guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. We love you so fucking much. Oh, my God. It's just sorry. I just had a brain fart. I can't think today, but I wanted to say next week on the podcast, we're going to do like a whole fashion thing because I'm like, I'm into it. I'm so excited. Paige, I love you so much. And I love you more. And guys, I hope you're enjoying this season of Summer House. You guys are the best for fighting our battles for us. And we love you. And see you in court. See you in court, guys. Bye. Bye.