Giggling about glove gate, getting into clubs, and meeting the parents
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My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn.com slash results.

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I mean the day just got away from me. What is up my gorgeous gigglers? Yes. You like that one. That felt right. That was on brand for you. Yeah. You were like finally you called me what I am. Finally get some respect up in this bitch.

How are you, Hannah? Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. We are grateful for the gigglers. Los pantalones. Yeah. En la escuela. Grateful for the gigglers, mostly. Also, we both were in

Baltimore this weekend which is just like such a random ass place to be like it's the hot spot Austin was last week Baltimore's this week um how was your Baltimore experience so I texted Paige because when you're traveling on the road sometimes you get good hotels sometimes you don't you would have lost your mind there was not even a lemon water in the lobby and

It was a Holiday Inn. Why do you do this to yourself? They book it. They book it. And I'm also cheap. Whoever they is, you've given them a standard in which you're comfortable with. And they're running wild with it. They're running wild. Basically, it was a Holiday Inn with a Chili's attached to it, which I've never seen before. I've never seen before, but I actually don't hate that. No.

Don't hate it. Because most of these places you get into the hotel and then you're like, oh, I need food. I've been seamlessly to hotel rooms, which is a new level of disgusting. But I basically go to my room and it kind of smells like smoke, like cigarette smoke. What is it? 1995? Exactly. I'm like, this is in my head. This isn't happening. And I go to Chili's. Now Chili's is a fucking vibe. Yeah, it is. It is a vibe. People go to Chili's like...

for a party. Like people are drinking huge like margaritas. You ever gotten drunk out of Chili's? No. Oh, it's wild. And also there's like a real culture to it. Like, and then I ordered an iced tea, a blueberry iced tea as one does. That shit had crack cocaine in it. I was off the wall. I was like talking to people. Chili's is like the Cheesecake Factory's drug addict cousin that like...

It's like, yeah, we're related. Like we're in the same high school, but like we have different parents. Chili's is Applebee's if it was laying in a field drunk. Yeah. Like if it was lying to its parents and like definitely wasn't a virgin by age 12. Chili's is a P.F. Chang's if it was selling foot pics. You know what I mean? Chili's has an OnlyFans. Yeah.

You know, Chili's has an OnlyFans, shows up to Thanksgiving dinner, says they're a news reporter. Like, they have an OnlyFans. But, like, Chili's is also in your fucking face with the calorie numbers. Don't you hate that? No one's going to Chili's to be healthy.

So why are you reminding me that I'm assaulting my body with a chicken sizzler? Yeah. Like if I'm trying to be healthy, the first thing I don't think is chili. Let's go chili. And then I decided to order a fajita after being in Tulum, Mexico. I was like, this is subpar. Yeah. But I ate that shit. So then I get back to the hotel room. Wait, were you by yourself?

Yeah, just by myself vibing. Wait, you went and sat at a Chili's by yourself? The most fucked up part is I get to the Chili's and they go, we don't have any seats available. And I'm like, do you know who I am? I have the Giggly Squat Pocket. I used to be on Bravo. Like I got rejected from Chili's. So where'd you sit? At the bar? Yeah. So I sat at the bar, but there was like the tennis channel. I have so many, so many questions on people that sit alone at restaurants and I envy them.

Yeah. What did you do whilst you waited for your food? I was watching the tennis channel. Like I was, I was like the guy at the bar who's like way too into the sports that's on and I don't care who's around me. And yeah,

I don't even care to check my phone that often. And then when the food comes, you can like fully immerse yourself in the food and you're not worried about people judging you for like how fast you're eating or like having to have a follow-up question to the person you're talking to, listening to them when they speak. That's exhausting. Like honestly, going out to eat with someone could be exhausting. It is exhausting. I have, I've never gone anywhere without,

alone no i've literally never done something that is typically a group or like two-person activity alone i don't have enough confidence i love eating alone and group dinners are my biggest fear where you yeah you vibe in a group grouped because the group dinners i'm like what what character do you guys want me to be do you want me to take over because i can right

You're either 100% in or you're home. You're like, I'm either doing it or I'm with butter. Like, I don't have time. And not to be all LA, but I am, you know, as an empath. I'm taking in everyone's emotions during the dinner and then it fucks with my dinner. It ruins my dinner when Sarah is giving me bad energy. Right. I get that. I get that. Chili's feels great energy. Okay.

Someone was, like, bitching about, like, one of the other waitresses. Like, they were, like, talking about their drama. And I was like, I'm invested. I need to know. But then I get back to my room and I realize, like, oh, this smell is real. And I hate confrontation. Like, I'm not one to send food back easily or, like, speak up for myself. Oh, I'm calling that front desk. I start getting nauseous because of, like, the cigarette smoke and the chilies. And I was like, I'm going to puke. So then I went downstairs and I was like, hey, wait.

My room smells like smoke. Is it possible to get another room? They were like, which room? And I was like 410. And they were like, that's not a smoking room. I'm like, but it smells like smoke. And they're like, maybe some smoke blew in. I'm like, it's a fucking who's outside on the fourth floor smoking. A UFO? That sounds like something I told my mom in high school. She's like, it smells like weed. I'm like, maybe. Maybe it blew in the house.

That's so weird. That's interesting. And I'm like, it smells like it in the shower, but it blew in. Okay. But they gave me another room and I was so happy I did. But I have a friend, my mom's friend, who wherever she goes when she gets to a hotel room will call and complain about something. And she'll always get an upgrade. And that's just like what she does. No way. I went to a fancy hotel in LA, like at least $400, walked in.

And there was something in the toilet. No. Like it looked like rice or like someone had puked. Something was weird in the toilet. And I just sucked it up. I just flushed and I was like, whatever. No. But immediately I was like, I'm paying $450 for this room and the toilet has something in it. Immediately when I get into a hotel room. I don't know why I just said it with this other mask. When I get in a hotel room, I'm going to tell you what I do. Someone's been in the South lately. I immediately look around.

For an iron or a steamer, if not, they're getting a call from me. If there's no blow dryer, they're getting a strongly worded phone call. And then I ask for a clothing rack, like an additional rack. Good for you. This is smart. This is good to know. There's a few things that I've always wanted to say to people. One of them is to jump into a taxi and say, follow that car. I've always just wanted to do that.

And another. Yeah, I think I can do that just at any moment. Just like see what the driver did. Like, is he a down ass bitch? Is he going to be like which one and start following or is he going to ask questions? Ubers, they don't fuck with you. But like taxis, you go in and if you're like, I need to be somewhere in four minutes, they're like done. And they put on like the turbo and then just like crash every car until they get there. It's pretty impressive. It probably makes their job a little bit more exciting than the usual day today. If you're like.

I'm about to have a baby. Go. Yeah, like I'm 20 minutes late and he's like, say less, ma'am. Like I've been waiting for someone. No, but one of those other sayings is, well, then call the police. I don't want to say that to someone. But that was my biggest fear. We talked about that, like that you would get arrested and go to jail because of your fake ID. Yes, that is my biggest fear. They'd always be like, we're calling the police. And I'd be like, I'm sorry.

Yeah, but now I want to be like, that's my ID. That's my vaccine card. Then call the police. You know what? I'll call them and we'll figure this out. I don't know why. I want to be on a soap opera, obviously. I have a question for you because I feel like I needed to dig deeper into how you've gotten where you are. And you guys have to understand, Paige is great at partying, but she's also like really good at understanding the scene to make it

be as fun as possible for like a single girl in New York City back in your day okay I think you've done a really good job do you have any advice for getting in with bouncers because it's not even about being of age it's about making the process smooth and then also not like overstepping not being annoying like how do you navigate being cool with the bouncers in New York City

Okay, this is... I get this question a lot, actually. And I'm going to tell you something. Because are you like dabbing dudes and just walking in? I'm dabbing bouncers up and handing them money. Um...

I'm going to say something. It is not me. I have been very, very fortunate in my years of going out in New York City that at any stage of my life, like the first couple of years I lived in New York, I had a girlfriend who was not afraid of anything. She'd walk right up to the bouncer and get us in like I didn't have to do a thing.

Then, you know, she got a boyfriend, so we killed her. And then I was still single. And one of my other girlfriends was the exact same way. Like, she would just be like, okay, we're going to this party. And I'm like, are we on the list? She's like, no, but we're going. But she'd, like, carry herself confidently. Yeah, and she would do everything, and I would just, like, stand there because that is so not my personality. Yeah. Yeah.

I will say there was one time I was out in New York City and all of my friends were inside of a club and like we had a table and I was joining the table. So all I really had to do was be like, hey, blah, blah, blah's table. And then like they let you in.

This guy was not letting me in. And like he was doing it on purpose. And this has only happened like a couple times in my life. Yeah. And like because when they don't fuck with you, like they don't they don't fuck with you. Like there's nothing you can really do if they just have decided they don't. They just don't like your face.

Yeah. And so there have been a couple of times in my life and I have never told anyone this because I didn't want to look like a loser in front of my friends. But my dad is always in the back of my head being like, you should tip everyone. You should tip everyone. So I've given money to bouncers and been like, I need to skip this line.

because like being in the line I felt like was more embarrassing now I'm like fuck you fuck this club I don't give a shit I'm going home yeah but I have I have tipped bouncers before yes well in New York City it's weird we're like if there's a line everyone wants to go to the club with the line but then you also do not want to be waiting in the line and you walk in the club and there's 10 people and you're like why don't we

Why don't we let everyone in so we can actually party? Because it's all about making people think. It's exclusive. It's exclusive. Yeah. I would just try names. I'd be like Joe's table. My one friend would do that. One time we went to a club in Miami and she literally Googled who owned the club. And then she said to the bouncer, like, I'm at like Jason, blah, blah, blah, whatever table. And he was like, oh, OK. And I was like, who is that? And she's like, he owns it.

And I was like, are we at his table? She's like, no, I don't even know him. My mom had this badass story about Studio 54. How I watched the documentary about it, but it was all about who gets let in. But they weren't just letting in anyone. Like they were letting in people who looked really like artsy or cool or New York City culture. Like you couldn't just be basic. I mean, if you want more probability of getting in, you need to have no guys with you.

Yeah. No guys with you. My mom said it was her and her friend and they were really cute and they got really dressed up. They got out of the car and she and they were like, we just have to walk like we're somebody. Yeah. They just walked right up like they were just so busy and they let them right in. And I thought it was like the coolest story. Yeah. And there are a few stories in here.

in New York City that, like, defined that time of my life where I was like, I just walked up to that club, the bouncer kissed me on the cheek, opened the rope and let me in and I felt like the coolest person ever. Now, I'm like, I...

Like, I just ate a Hot Pocket. That's where I'm at now. That was really insightful, Paige. Thank you. Thank you. That was really great. How was your weekend in Baltimore? Or, like, your Thanksgiving? Oh, my God. Okay, so first I was in Delaware, which is, like, the most wholesome hallmark place ever. I went and got a Christmas tree at the same place that there's an animal petting zoo. And I was like, oh, my God, we're doing Hannah's Bachelorette here.

You did it without me? I was like, hi, do you guys do bachelorette parties and also sell pumpkin pies? Did you have fun at the animal farm? We went at nighttime, so it wasn't full on going on. The animals were asleep. Yeah, but the goats are wild.

The goats just fling themselves like in the air. And they try to like eat your necklace and shit. Yeah. I was like, I don't know if I really fuck with you. That's a cute little like date. Yeah. It was so cute. It was Craig and I and his parents. We went and got a Christmas tree. We did Thanksgiving with them like the week before. And then we went to Albany.

Wait, that is so family oriented. You love that shit. I love that shit. I mean, we were family for like a full two weeks. We were with someone's family. Is that crazy? But I also feel like it's ironic that we're talking about you partying all the time and then how you're kind of over it. And it's because like you just wanted a family to take you in and you were looking for families at tables and clubs and they weren't there.

I was looking in all the wrong places for family to love me. No, so we went to Delaware. Then we flew to Albany. And like, obviously, it was the first time that Craig was meeting my family. So like, I was very nervous. I'm nervous. Yeah. And I will say this. It was a different kind of nervous than I've had with other boyfriends meeting my family.

In previous relationships, my nerves were, my family's going to hate this person. How do I diffuse whatever's about to happen for the next 72 hours? In this situation, I was very nervous that Craig wasn't going to like my family. So I texted all of them and I was like, hey, if you guys could not be yourselves for a little bit, that'd be great. Yeah.

And I just wanted everything to go smoothly. I'm envisioning just The Bachelor of you having a home and your mom sitting there like, so why should Paige choose you? We were doing hometowns. We were fully doing hometowns. And then your dad pulls on and he's like, I got a gun in the back. Okay. Not really unexpected, but a little bit unexpected. My dad doesn't love me anymore and he only loves Craig. And he doesn't care about me. And...

He was like doing things around the house and kept being like, Craig, you want to like, you want to do this with me? And I was like, hello. Oh, he has a new best friend. Yeah. They know they're best friends. It's the craziest thing. Do they text yet? They text. Okay. That is the cutest fucking thing. They text. It honestly could not have gone better. And then on actual Thanksgiving, Sierra texted me and was like, I think I'm going to come to Albany for Thanksgiving. Okay.

And I was like, oh, my God, of course. So she jumped on a train. We went and picked her up. She had Thanksgiving with us Friday. Yeah. We played Family Feud after Thanksgiving. We did boys versus girls. We had the best time ever. No, like it was the best weekend ever. And then we came back to New York on Saturday and we went to the Baltimore game on Sunday, which opens Glovegate.

Everyone needs to know what happened with the gloves. The first thing I want to say is I die for the gigglers. If any of you...

need a blood transfusion or a kidney transplant like hit me up because not one person told craig about glove gate not one i'm obsessed i'm obsessed i was literally doing no the gigglers are real motherfuckers real they just needed boundaries they just need boundaries we told them the boundaries and they were like done they were like thank you sign seal delivered i'm yours yeah because

I thought Craig was almost like fucking with me because he kept bringing up the gloves and he was like, do you have your gloves? Like, it's going to be really cold. It was really fucking cold. So I was very happy I had them. But at one point at the game, I was like, can you take a picture of my gloves? And he was like, for what? And I was like, oh, like the gigglers just like want to see what I'm wearing. Yeah.

And he was like, okay. And then like I was on my phone and I was looking at messages and he was like, why is everyone obsessed with?

And I was like, I don't know. Isn't that just like the weirdest thing ever? It's like you clearly have amazing taste in gloves. Yeah, I was like, no, they're so amazing. And he did not know anything. And people were like, OK, they're they're actually kind of cute. And like you did it well. That's amazing. So you nailed it. How do you feel about being lugged to football games in the cold? Are you OK with it? Well, you're from Albany.

I'm not. Oh, the cold doesn't bother me at all. I like. Yeah. That's like one thing I don't care about. But Craig was so cute this weekend. He was like, do you like doing this stuff with me or do you just like doing it because you like me? And I looked at him and I said, oh, babe. He asked some deep ass questions. Yeah, no. I'm like half a pretzel in my mouth. I'm like right now.

the mustard right now you're like why are you making me use my brain and he so he was like do you like this or do you like are you just doing it because you like you love me and I was I looked at him and I was like both like I wouldn't actually be here if I didn't love you you're like actually I don't even like you but I need to watch this snap so please shut up it does get exciting I mean I was a cheerleader for football in high school so like I get it

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.

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I had a really small Thanksgiving. Yeah, where were you? We were at my Nana's place.

recovered like a champ got out of the hospital next day she was in the hospital for a week because she don't tell me she made thanksgiving she didn't make it but she was like the manager like she was telling everyone what to do no one asked me to do shit which i think is a pat on my back of how i've showed how incompetent i am over the last couple like des was like why aren't they asking us to make anything and i go crazy i have no idea and my mom's like bring wine hannah wait i

thought the same thing this year at Thanksgiving. I was like, wait, damn, I'm almost 30 and not one. But

But I'm at the point, I was like Googling cute recipes and they were just like, don't. Because my family takes food seriously. Like they're like, we'd rather you not. They don't have time. They don't have time for that shit. They're like, you want to practice? Fuck up a different Sunday night dinner. This is a main holiday. You think we're just throwing you in on the A team? Like, get out of here. No, like this isn't a cute, like, try your best. Italian families are the NFL draft team.

for holidays. Like they're not just winging it. Not even an appetizer. Like they have the spread. Don't fucking come in with some bullshit. You want a holiday? Fourth of July. Thanksgiving? Absolutely out of here. Flag day is your holiday. This is why I am the way I am. My mom was like, bring white wine. And like I have white wine in the house. So I bring two things of white wine. We forgot to drink it.

Like that's our family. Like we just never, like I was like, did we even open the wine? And they were like, Oh my God, we forgot to open on the wine. Like that's our family just doesn't drink. It's so weird. Um, but my Nana, she was fully decked out. She had a wheelchair just cause she's recovering. And she was like, it was crazy. Um,

I haven't posted in four days and I thought my followers were going to be mad at me, but I gained followers. Why am I working so hard when I gained followers? It's crazy. I don't know what to do. But my last post got over. She's like, so I need you to throw me down the stairs really quick. And I was just next to her because I am her manager. And I was like, Nani, you're engaging my last couple of photos were great. And we go take a photo and she goes, get the wheelchair in it. And I go, this woman's a genius. This woman's a marketing genius.

Chris Kardashian calls her and she's like, we heard what you've been doing. We'd love to bring you on board. Kris Jenner's looking to sign her.

But we had, it was great. It was just my Nana, my Papa, my Mom, my Dad, and me and Des. Oh, my God. That's so cute. Because my brother and his wife, holy shit, he's married, are in Indiana. So we do a little FaceTime. We have a very small family. Well, Des does have like 20 cousins, but we are doing Christmas with them. But anyway, guys, long story short.

when you get a significant other holidays are exhausting they are it's almost like they're it's exhausting only because i feel like you put so much pressure on yourself like prior and while it's going on it's not even like the acts of what you're doing because you're not doing anything but like sitting and eating do you remember when you were little how holidays were like a magical day and then there was a time when you're like a teenager early 20s when you're like this is just a day like i don't even care about this day

But I want to have a mental health moment because I did hear that the holidays are actually like the highest spike in depression, anxiety and suicide. Wow. If you think about it, it's like if you had lost a family member or you feel alone, it's just like a time where people are forcing happiness and jolliness in your face. And it can make you feel really insecure or lonely or depressed.

if you don't feel happy during the holidays. Behind every smiling family picture, there was a fight in the kitchen. Like there was. Like no one's escaping not having like, you're annoying me. Like, well, oh really? You're annoying me. Like I think my brother told me to go back to New York City at least four times. He was like, go back.

You don't live here anymore. Everyone's like, all we care about is family. And then they just hate each other the whole time. So anyone who doesn't have a perfect family structure, have perfect holidays, you're literally everyone. Yeah, it's it's literally it is everyone. It's Cyber Monday today. Yeah.

I just did a whole thing of like, I'm about to post it, but like, I can't make a TikTok to save my fucking life. But I just did a whole thing of like things I would ask for for Christmas or like things like just send this list to your boyfriend. I literally almost texted Elena and was like, I'm going to send you clips. Get into a TikTok for me. But I feel like.

She already hates us and I don't want to burden her. Yeah, that would put her in a mood. Do you feel like the emails are more aggressive this season than other seasons? If you sent me an email this weekend, you were unsubscribed from. Don't send me an email.

It is the time to be like, oh my God, I didn't even know I need to unsubscribe from these fuckers. Yeah, that's what it is. People are pushing so hard that I don't even know what emails I'm getting. I'm normally pretty good at deleting emails that aren't useful, but I am...

I am harassed. I am bamboozled. The fact that there isn't a check all button, unsubscribed to all is crazy to me. There are some apps, but then it's hard because it's like, I will like some of these brands, but then the next day they'll be like, do you want to buy more? And I'm like, I just bought something from you. Yeah. So anyway, have you ever shopped at Aritzia? Yeah, I hate it. Do you notice that their dressing rooms don't have mirrors anywhere?

I've never tried anything on in there. They don't have mirrors. So you have to walk outside and there's like a big general mirror.

Which is, I first thought I was going crazy, like that I just couldn't find the mirror in the dressing room. Imagine putting on something that looks stupid, walking outside, having everyone be like, oh my God, that looks stupid on her. And then look in the mirror and be like, I'm stupid. And do that 14 times. What are you just supposed to like feel the energy if it like looks good on you or not? Yeah, this isn't LA. Yeah, like what in the actual fuck, why do they do that? Is it every store you think?

it might be because you know how these corporate companies have like the same vibe also people are loving Abercrombie yeah people are really loving it it's having a full moment it's having a full moment I will say their body suits are really good I love their body suits I I like a lot of their stuff talk about a come up people love uh you know a rise and fall and rise yeah a rise fall and arise um

I think because it was so big in our age group that when it fell, we were like, eh, that sucks. But now that it's back again, we're like, let's go. Yeah, we're excited. Yeah, because we loved them. So I'm fully giving them a second shot. And I think they are really good. I do have an issue with bodysuits, though, because as someone who doesn't wear thongs...

Body suits are not even like a they're like a full wad of toilet paper in my asshole. It feels like think type of underwear you're going to wear on your wedding day. Why are you attacking me right now? You know, to be honest, there are those like unlined ones that you can't see it. But I'm not wearing a thong on my I am not wearing a thong on my wedding day. Hannah, I'm going to buy you.

like the outfit you put on after you take your wedding dress off when you're like in your when you're about to lose my virginity yeah when you're about to consummate your marriage i'm buying that outfit i think i want to start saying consummate now yeah like instead of being like do you know what craig and i say now what do you say did you go all the way

With each other? No. Do you want to go all the way? Sometimes he does say it to me. Oh, you mean to other people? But yeah, like, do you think they went all the way? And I'm like, that's a really nice way to ask and put it. Do you know what people don't talk about enough? How to initiate sex with your significant other. Like, do you go, do you want to fuck? Do you just start kissing on them? Do you say, do you want to make love? Or do you say, should we consummate?

Because I think I'm going to just start being like, should we consummate? Do you want to make an honest moment out of me? Because when you're with someone for a long time, you're not finding like random like moments where you guys are just so hot and heavy making out. It's more like, I have 10 minutes. Do you have 10 minutes? Yeah. You want to go? Yeah. Like I have to jump on a call. Des and I will have moments where we're looking at each other and he'll be like, does your stomach hurt?

And I'll be like, no. And he'll be like, do you want sex? And then I'll be like, that's the logistics that we need. He's going to kill me. But he did the funniest thing yesterday. We were on the couch. We want to have sex. And he said, hold on one sec. I need to put a pillow behind my back. My lower back has been hurting. And I was like, oh, my God. It was like so cute. But also I'm like.

We're not spring chickens anymore. Just sign these papers in case you die really quickly. So wait, that's actually hilarious. Someone was asking, like, how do I meet a silver fox? And I was like, hang out in Rite Aid in the Advil section. I lost it. I lost it. That was such a good one.

But it's true. This man goes through ibuprofen, Advil, Motrin, Tylenol. You're like, look up arthritis support groups. But then I was like sitting on his lap and my hip flexors were so tight. And he was like, you need to stretch. And I was like, you need to fucking stretch. You're like bouncing up and down and you're like, you need to stretch. He's like, use the foam roller. And I'm like, when did we become...

literally geriatric yeah like what's going on and then I like needed to take a break because my hip flexor was hurting oh my god I I've done that too like where you're just like okay my thighs weren't built for this what am I an olympic athlete yeah you can't go from like lying around all day to suddenly yeah don't be a hero guys yeah don't try to be a hero I'm not built for what you see in your movies my thighs have a limit

um okay i also have written down in my notes something kind of scary okay 90s skinny brows there's oh there's something i was like we have to go i would go on amazon you know how there's those like mustache patches i would buy like two mustache patches but this thing my eyebrows are like they're not necessarily crazy thick but they're very long so when i brush it up i look like albert einstein

So that's why I was scared to do it. But I realize you have to trim your eyebrows. Yeah. But I have this like glossy a brow. Yeah. That I just like brush it up a lot. And like it kind of looked good. Yeah. So I'm going through that journey. OK, I'll help you find someone that like we would trust to do it. Actually, I would love if you did it. And then if it was good, then I would do it.

Yeah, I'll be the guinea pig for us. You're like, can you get a face tattoo and just let me see how it works. So this girl's name is Boris Lava Sokova. So she has amazing cheekbones. But yeah, like this is me and you.

Wait, I'm obsessed with her. Wait. And her style is so good. That's actually so crazy. I sent you her style is so good. I'm low-key obsessed with her and I actually had a moment where I wanted to be like, hey, how do you do your makeup? But I felt like a creepo. But then I realized that's like what influencers do. That's like what, so just comment and be like, hi, we need a makeup tutorial. So anyway, 90s eyebrows, I'm not doing it. I like, look, I'm just coming around to like low rise coming back and I haven't bought any, but like I'm accepting it when I'm doing it.

when I see it out no no no no yeah but I'm not I'm not too I'm not getting crazy but also I hate low rise because it's so specific to one body type yeah I actually manifested something what something bad or something good it's I don't know I think it's good shoot

I have manifested accidentally that everyone's starting to dissolve their BBLs and lip fillers. Wait, like give an example on who? Khloe Kardashian has been dissolving her BBL. I saw that picture.

Does she not look so much better, though? So much better. It literally looks like they had full diapers. Like they had a diaper that needed to be changed. It is what their asses looked like. Yeah. And like, I can't be comfortable being that disproportional. Like, I wouldn't even be able to walk. I tip over. I think Kim might be doing it, too. And then Bella. How do they sit in chairs? You know, like, I just feel like your legs are like detached from your thighs. Yeah.

Yeah, it reminds me of like those horse costumes where you're like, you have a horse in the back. I know that was a very specific. I get what you're thinking in your head. But I think Bella Hadid is dissolving her lip filler. Kylie already was kind of dissolving it. But I feel like the Gen Z's lip.

are very pro, like, you know how natural makeup is now back? Yeah. I think natural faces are starting to be back, and I'm very, very happy about that because I feel like it was too much pressure for everyone to have massive lips and massive asses. I can't keep up with the Gen Zs. I can barely keep up with laser hair removal. I don't know how people are keeping up with, like, doing all this stuff. Oh, I gave up on laser hair removal a long time ago.

I will be like tweezing my chin and Des will be like, can you just get laser? It's not that easy. It's not that easy. I have to remember to take my birth control every month. I have to remember to drink water every day. I have to remember to text my friends back. I have to respond to emails. I have to remember my wallet, phone and keys everywhere. I can't remember laser. Unless the laser is coming to my apartment, I'm probably not doing it. Wait, have you found that? I can't.

I would love that. I mean, honestly, that is why I fuck so hard with long distance. And I feel like sometimes people think I'm like making an excuse like, oh, my God, like, no, I really love long distance. It's because I need at least three days to do weird, gross, single girl stuff that you don't do in front of your boyfriend.

Well, you're going to get to the point if you finally move in together where that just becomes like he just sees it all the time. But you're still in the fun. Like, let's pretend that. Yeah, it's like it's like I don't do I don't do that. That's crazy. You know, like I feel like he thinks, yeah, that I'm just my legs are always smooth. Yeah. When I got my appendix removed, they had to like, you know, stick something in your belly button and whatever. And you get like the worst gasp.

Like, insane. Because they have to pump you with air and stuff. Yeah. It was sulfuric. And that was when my relationship with him will never be the same. Where I remember he just, like... He...

It was like we either had to get married or we'd never see each other again. Were you in the hospital or is it like over time they're like, okay, this will come out of you? So I was in the hospital for three days and then I was in West Hampton with him and he just had to suffer. And what did he say? I mean, at first he thought it was kind of funny and then he started to get annoyed. He was like, okay, this is not a safe living environment for me.

And I was like, he's like, I'm calling a bomb squad because I think that you're actually poisoning me. So that's why I make hard jokes to make myself feel better. And that's why you're getting, you guys are getting married. Even today. Like we, we got coffee and he loves coffee. Yeah. Loves it. I post, he gets so happy with coffee. Like I think he loves coffee more than me, which like is something else I'm going to unpack at a later date with him. But we're walking back and I'm like, Oh man,

I'm like, I need to shit myself. Like, and it's going to be a good one. Like I could feel it. And he kind of laughed. And then like a couple of steps later, he's like, oh, I need to shit. And then we were arguing about who would shit first in the bathroom. Cause we have a one, one bathroom. And I was like, I have a podcast in 10 minutes. And he's like, I could do it really fast. And I was like, I can too. And like, at one point I was like, where has this relationship gone? Oh, can I tell you something also? Yeah.

You've always said to me like you need to date someone that you can or like be how we are together Like how your friend is or something. Yeah Des is you like you were the same person. Yeah, it's like dangerous cuz like the sides you don't like about yourself You're like, oh, but then the sides you love about yourself. You're like you're amazing But yeah, once you're living with someone for so long It's like I don't like having to navigate things and like pretend I don't do things. I

But when you do shave, when you do a full shave and you do kind of put a little effort, he appreciates it, which is nice. Yeah. He just sees a wider range of you. That's true. That's true. But by that time, he's like sold on you. I.

like OCD though so like I'm always shaven yeah and like ready to go yeah that's called being a slut I'm like let's go let's do this I'm ready okay I'm gonna say something crazy oh my god Craig has never farted in front of me wait how did you find someone who is you I know wait not even like a weird smell or a sound no no

Nothing. And I'm going to tell you something. Every single boyfriend I've ever had, even guys that weren't even my boyfriend, like the first time they would fart in front of me, I'd be like, oh my God, we're on this like level and he feels comfortable with me.

And then it happened really, really early on with someone. And I was like, okay, we don't really even know each other. And you literally just farted on me. And I was like, that's so disrespectful. Like, you don't give a shit. Yeah. I've never farted in front of any boyfriend ever. Ever. Like, I don't think that they think I even have an asshole. Did you say your mom's never farted in front of your dad? My mom has never farted in front of my dad ever. But this is the thing.

I don't know if it's like I'm part Jewish. I have IBS. I am so gassy. Like,

- I'm the kind of person, like I'll be in a room alone and start smelling something. I'll be like, who fart? Did I fart? Like I'm just. - Craig's favorite thing about me is how girly I am. - Oh my God, you guys. - And I love it 'cause I'm like, yeah, I'm the girliest. I love being the girl. - And you get to just be as girly as you want. - Yeah. - So this is the thing, but I still try not to fart in front of Des and that's how I know we're still in love because I've used my farting. - You think about holding it up.

Yeah, I've tried, which is like huge for me because I've used farting to like end a relationship before. Like I remember, you know, when you subconsciously are just over someone like you have the ick. I used to like fart on him. Like I just, you know, when you want a guy to break up with you. Yeah. Like I was using my, the power of my farts to do that. And that's when I realized I didn't like the guy. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks, everything.

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Terms and conditions apply. Did you hear the girl who's selling her farts in a jar? I saw that written on the thing. She made 45 grand. How do you put it in a jar? This is my thing. I'm great at farting and like that is difficult for me. I just don't get the science behind it.

I don't know, but she had a whole explanation. She was like, when you first open it, it's like the first couple sniffs that will be ideal. And I was like, no, Hannah, you have to stop because I'll actually throw up. That actually that just triggered me. No, like I'm going to do it.

Stop. Oh, stop. I actually can't think about opening a jar right now. Oh my God, Hannah. No, that actually really did something inside me. Did I ruin jars for you? Yes. I'll never own a mason jar. God damn it. What am I going to do in Charleston if I never own a mason jar? Wait, now I know I'm getting you for your birthday next year. Oh my God. That's so disgusting. Like I can deal with your disgustingness. I can't think of someone else's farts.

Yeah, true. Wait, that means you love me. Yeah, you're the only person in my life that I have these conversations with because I truly love you. And if you farted on me, I wouldn't care. Anyone else? Oh my God, no. People message me if this is with you too. My farts are worse when I'm going through a tough time. That's a weird support group I don't want in on. Yeah. Okay? Okay.

The farting family support group. No, you know how psychics will be like, oh, like, you know, you get bloated when you're holding stuff in. Like, I think I'm like that where when I was going through shit, I could not stop farting. Everything I ate, I'd fart. But then when I'm happy, I'm like, I don't fart as much. No, that is true. And mine is just different. Mine's throwing up. Exactly. Like, I make myself so worked up that I'll puke. We both eject, but from different holes. We have...

A couple more minutes. Can we do some front page news? I have one thing. Okay, I have one thing too. What? Okay, so my thing is basically Hailey Bieber's only like 25. Yeah, she's young. I had no idea she was so young. So that was my first part. I swear it gets more interesting. Second part, I follow this account Pop Culture Angel, which I feel like everyone should follow. And they do this thing called like Curse Celebrity Moments.

And it's old tweets from Hailey Bieber in 2011, which I guess it doesn't feel that long ago, but that shit was 10 years ago. Yeah, that's fucking long ago. We were freshmen in college. This girl, Hailey Bieber, tweeted September 2011. I don't care what anyone says, but Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez together is the definition of a teenage dream. Hashtag word with like.

2000 likes. Oh my God. And then in May, so like months later, she just goes, I'm for sure. A hundred percent team. Hashtag Jelena, Justin Selena. Did she manifest? Did she manifest Justin Bieber? She definitely did. But, um, it's just, it's wild that she was like a fan in that way. I'm going to tell you something now.

I watched Southern Charm before I knew Craig. And a thousand percent had a crush on him. I was like, yeah, he's hot. But were you like, I'm team Craig and this girl. No, I definitely wasn't tweeting about him. I didn't follow him on Instagram. I didn't know anything about him. I think it's a thousand percent normal. You should have had a crush on him when you were watching. But...

It would be weird if you were, like, obsessed with his relationship. Like, I stan them. I'm obsessed with them. No, that's weird. They're the best couple on Bravo. Like, that would be creepy. Yeah, and, like, when I watched him, I don't think he even... I can't remember, but I don't think he even had a girlfriend when I, like, saw him. That's, like, me five years ago. Like, I watched Des on stage, and I'm like, I want to fuck him. Yeah, it was more like I would fuck him. Yeah. And I'm gonna...

And I'm going to. It just might take a couple years. We just need to navigate some shit. Wait, is that really weird that we both met? We both manifested. And like saw them, knew them, and were like, yeah, I would absolutely fuck you. But you know what I love? You and Craig met multiple times when the universe wasn't ready. Yeah. And you still...

Like the manifestation still worked because you could have easily been like, OK, I met him. We didn't really hit it off because he didn't give me any attention because he's taken or whatever. And I didn't try. Yeah. OK, we have to jump on a creative call for merch. Oh, right. We have a call. We have we have.

a sale going on yes cyber monday and we never do sales so it's like 15 20 off geekly squad.com geekly-squad.com go for it we love you guys so much and thanks for giggling