Giggling about Hannah in LA, OnlyFans, and Hailey Bieber’s smoothie
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What is up my gigabyte gigglers? This is a tech podcast. Welcome. Someone DM'd that to me and I thought it was cute. Why would we be a tech podcast? Because gigabyte is a tech thing. Oh. What did you think a gigabyte was? I just I didn't know that you've said gigabyte more than just immediately before this prior.

It's like a Tamagotchi. You're running around calling people Giggly Bites. Oh my God, Giggly Bite, that's so cute. Giggly Bites. We should come out with a line of snacks. I mean, the fact we haven't done that already is actually insulting to everyone who listens to the pod. It's called Giggly Bites. Giggly Bites. It sounds like an edible. Sounds like a high idea I've come up with before. Yeah.

Paige, what do you think about Juuls being made illegal? I think it's for the best. I think it's for the best. But here's the other thing. There's so many other companies. Well, this is my question. We've been trying to quit smoking forever. At this point, let's just let people... You know it kills you. You know it's bad for your skin. Let them smoke if they want to smoke. I'm an adult.

I'll make my own fucking decisions. Yeah. I know. And now I'm thinking like, are we really going back in time? Are people just going to start like chain smoking cigs? I think you should smoke cigars. At least it's like powerful. I think I might start rolling my own cigarettes. Okay. Johnny Depp. And getting and get a fake French accent.

Let's see what happens. Speaking of pretending we're someone we're not, I went to LA this last week and I have so much to talk about. You guys, I have so much to talk about. Wait, can I just say before we start this? Yeah. When you posted on Instagram stories, no, TikTok, about... Also, let's just talk about how like who you are on TikTok and like who you are on Instagram, which is like two totally different people. Yeah.

Not just you, just like in general. I'm thriving on TikTok. You're thriving on TikTok.

did you say that people who thrive on tiktok are different than people who thrive on instagram i think you thrive on both you just don't really try with tiktok i don't really try with tiktok but it's funny when i get really mean comments on my tiktok and the tiktok people are like not here for it they're like whoa the energy in this comment section like okay move on like they're more developed than instagram users so the reason why i post a

a thousand times a day on TikTok is because people like don't know where I'm from on TikTok. Like I'm just a stranger and people are like, this girl is really funny. And I was dealing with like tough times on Instagram. So I was just like, you know what? I'm going to go where I feel joy and I feel like people are accepting me for who I am. That sounds like the title of your documentary. Tough times on Instagram. Yeah.

Wait, okay, so your TikTok, when you were talking about Hailey Bieber's Air One smoothie, my first thought was, I can't believe Hannah knew how to pronounce Air One. It took me four days, and I still... I thought it was like Air One, like a Michael Jordan sneaker, like Air Ones. I thought it was spelled like that, too. And then when I ever saw the spelling, I don't even know the first time I saw the spelling, and I was like...

That doesn't say that. But it's because of TikTok that I like started to get in this like LA cool girl algorithm where it was saying where all the girlies are doing. So did I see any kind of tourism? No. But did I go to Air One to try Hailey Bieber's $17 T-shirt?

glow skin glow where even is air one no clue i just put it in uber and let it take me places right right i thought that like la everything's in la didn't realize like something in la could be an hour away from something else and they have like towns that was chaotic for me um yeah sure and then occasionally i tried walking and there'd be just be no one around and i'm like if i get kidnapped yeah giggly swell will have to go on without me

I crossed the street one day in L.A. and I felt just like immediately poor. I was like, this is so such a poor person move. Nobody walks here. This place, Erewhon, is basically like where all the cool girls go grocery shopping, but also like buy shit. I guess if you're single, you're supposed to go there. To meet people? Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. When I'm at a grocery place or any kind of eatery, it's not my most glamorous self. I'm focused on stuffing my face. It's not on the top of my to-do list. No. To meet someone in those sets. Also, me waiting in a line of 20 girls who look just like me to get a $70 smoothie. Not my press moment. Okay, so what? I wasn't feeling unique and special. Oh, my God.

Tell me. And it's different from New York because everyone's looking what you're doing. Like, oh, my God. You're talking to who you're with. Everyone's wearing these like cute workout sets when I swear none of them worked out. None of them. Yeah. And then I just owns that. It's like ridiculously priced. Like there'll be a juice that's like twenty eight dollars and party is like, OK, I kind of want to buy it because it must be that fucking good.

but um right the smoothie i do have to say looks really cool and i felt like such a fucking basic nerd i was standing there and all these girls are getting the smoothie and we're all just waiting together and no one's making eye contact and we're like yeah we're haley bieber stands the power of influencers but i i didn't want to i felt like going on a rant to everyone being like she's 25 that's why her skin looks good but anyway i'm gonna tell you something

I think I might have been influenced and I think I might buy all of Hailey Bieber skincare. What changed since last week? People change, people grow. First of all, let's first and foremost, um,

I don't know. I just feel like the more I watch her talk about it, the more I feel like she really is so passionate about it and really does like has tried different formulas for her own line and has waited to put it out until it's exactly what she thinks like is good. And so I just kind of want to try it. Yeah. So I taste the smoothie and it tastes like strawberry shortcake and nepotism.

What does nepotism even mean? It means like you got things because your parents are rich or famous or connected. Oh, right. For some reason, every time I see the word nepotism and this has no correlation, I don't know why I'm like this. I think of the word tadpole. I don't know why.

do not know why i think of a frog people's brain cells are currently being just burned like zapped right now but it okay this is it looked really cool but it was very very sweet i do have to say would i get it again absolutely but um did my skin glow maybe but i was still depressed after um classic classic classic but it was it was a fun little thing for me and then i got like a

a chocolate muffin, which is, in other words, is a cake. It's a chocolate cake. Yeah. But I feel like you counteracted that healthy smoothie. We'll see. But I love muffins. They're just, they're fake ass bitches. You do love muffins. They're fake as fuck. They're like, we're a muffin.

And I'm like, you are a little brownie, but we'll call you a muffin. L.A. changed me. Yeah. Tell me. Tell me everything about L.A. I feel you said you feel poor when you walk in L.A. I feel poor when a Tesla pulls up in an Uber and I don't know how to open the door.

Yeah. Why are the, what is going on with the doors? There's no door handle. There's a door handle. You guys in the door and handle. So you're like, you don't know where they're click it or pull it. And then you're, you feel fucking stupid and poor. It's just a spaceship. I, the one day Craig and I were driving and there was a Tesla on the road, but it was like a new version Tesla or it was like an SUV Tesla. And we started talking about them and,

And I was like, I mean, the feature of it driving itself is kind of cool. Like, think about everything. Or he said, like, yeah, like, think about all the things you can do in your car when, like, you don't have to focus on driving. Like, it just cuts out so much time. And I immediately said, I was like, I know you can fuck while you're driving. I was about to say roadhead. Yeah. And Craig looked at me and was so...

like taken back and i go what are you all of a sudden a priest like you like and he was like no i'm just so taken back like that was your first thought of like things you can get done while you're in the car and he was like i was talking about like i'm doing a phone call or like yeah and i was like okay so don't get your dick sucked i don't know what you want from me

As I say this in his parents' house. I hate when I get sexual in Delaware. Oh, my God. I mean, I can't drive, so I have no opinions. Also...

Also, I forgot to tell you, going to L.A. was so chaotic for me. Like, Des had some, like, thing where basically I got an upgrade to be in Delta One. If you don't know what Delta One is, it's a rich bitch. Basically, you can, like, lay down. It's amazing. But immediately I take my shoes off because I'm an animal.

And I put it like next to me and immediately one of the shoes drops and I realize it drops to go to the person behind me who's fully laid back asleep. And I'm like, we have a problem because then we're ordering food and I get the pasta. The pasta comes and it's like Alfredo.

And I did not bring a lactate pill. And then it's with a cheesecake and like fed a salad. And if it's in front of me, I'm going to eat it. You're going to eat it. I'm going to eat. What was I going to not eat the cheesecake? Right. No, that would have been that would have been against your religion. So then it was me versus the clock. And I started to feel very gassy. And then I was like, do we walk to the bathroom with no shoes on?

no oh because your shoe is now missing oh my god i said you know what what is up with you and flights and just like the weirdest things happen so i said you know what i deserve to be here and if i don't want to wear shoes i'm not wearing shoes and i was wearing my mask so pick one of the other bitches so i put my mask on no shoes

Walking into a bathroom barefoot is another level of disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. And it was first class bathroom, but still. They don't clean those. No. So then I like walked back and you just have to be confident, you guys. Mental health moment. You have to act like you have shoes on. And that's a metaphor for life. Yeah.

If you walk with a purpose and you're acting like you have a fully laced shoe on, people believe that you have shoes on. They don't even question it. And you should take that energy into every day. Yeah. Take it till you make it. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes because you don't have your own. You know what I mean? I wrote in the notes just first class drama. Then, the thing about first class is

Is there like too nice to you? Like they're like, how are you? What are you up to this trip? And I was like, I thought I paid enough money to not have to have small talk with people. Right.

And then we're lying back and the lady just goes, I guess we were, it was time for us to like land and starts pressing my button to like get me to pull your seat up. No, they're very, they're very aggressive. And I was very aggressive when I'm about to get whiplash. Cause I was just lying down and the, this, this is the thing. I know it has to be erect to land, but like, why does it have to be so fucking erect? It's a better word. Oh,

upright upright so it has to be upright but the seat is so fucking upright i'm like literally i don't even know how to i'm like falling forward i have a hunchback

Here's the other thing I think about in those situations. I'm like, okay, what are we planning for here? Because if the plane crashes, if I'm laying down, I'm dead. If I'm sitting up, I'm dead. Like, I don't know what you guys, let me die in peace. Like the way I want to go. That was dark. Oh, but I did see something on TikTok. If anyone has fears of flying, which is way more common than you would imagine, and it happens to all kinds of people. It doesn't matter like what kind of confidence you have in your life.

Someone explained it like she put something in jello and like shook the jello and was like, this is what turbulence is. The gravity from the bottom is pressing up and the gravity from the top is pressing down. So it just means you're like moving, but you're not losing like balance in any way. It's just like you're jiggling in jello.

Craig's uncle is a pilot and I used to get really scared flying. Like randomly it would just hit me. And he told me he was like, you would have to run into 25 chickens who just go in the engine and then it would have to happen again to go in the other engine. Like your plane is not falling to the ground. And then ever since that, I never...

I was never scared and I just think about chickens. I just got kind of hungry. And then I was like, I do love a chicken nugget. See you later. Wait, I just envisioned you freaking out and Craig just listening to something on his... Craig leaves me for dead. Yeah. Leaves me for dead. He's like, that's your own personal journey that I need you to take by yourself.

And it's you can tell a lot about a person in those moments. You mean when they're scared for dead? Yeah. And the other like significant other who's supposed to help them just doesn't give a flying fuck. I think Des gives me tough love in those situations. Yeah, I don't want that.

Like in those situations where I think I'm going to die, I need you to be like, it's okay. I love you so much. Does it be like, is anyone else freaking out? You're the only one freaking out. Yeah. Like I don't need you to turn your headphones off. Like you made all the other anxious thoughts you had this week that you bothered me with. Okay. Wow. You're getting really good at your husband's voice. Oh my God. I love impersonating him. Also, I had some crazy run-ins in LA. Yeah. Give me some.

I swear to God this happened to me. I'm getting dropped off. Okay, so it didn't. I swear to God this happened. I get dropped off at the Laugh Factory, which is like a very fun LA comedy club to do a set. Yeah. And there are these guys outside and I look and I go, that's Tom Sandoval. And funny thing, I don't know how this happened, but I've never crossed paths with him. I've never met Tom Sandoval. Okay. Yeah.

So I get out of the cab and I go, hey, Tom, I'm Hannah. And he's like, oh, hey. I get so pissed.

just on a corner it's not like he's just standing on a corner i'm like do you need help did you lose your family you know when you're best friends with someone so like normal things that they do that like are normal you find so funny because it's just like them yeah like a lot of you say my plan makes me just i was like my name word i'm like i'm ha ha ha

kind of pronounce it different i do i get weird hannah but like you're like i'm hannah yeah i wish my name was like page is good like page i'm like i'm here like a british oligarch or something you're like someone's like are you russian or something and i'm like no i just i'm just awkward i just hate myself i'm just nervous i'm gonna leave okay so you run into tom sandoval gallivanting in the street and i'm like hey what's going on and he's like this guy's a magician

And I was like, okay, honestly, I've had like a long week and this is a lot. And the guy was like, he goes, go to your phone. And I was like, okay, do you know those YouTube videos with fucking, they make fun of David Blaine? Yeah. It's the greatest thing I've ever seen where they're like, he's like, pull, pull out the card from your, from your pocket. And they're like, no, no. And he's like, do it. And they're like, he's right. I'm in Blaine. So anyway, that's what I dealt with. And he's like, take out your phone. I was like, okay. And he's like,

now put in your passcode and i was like okay and then he's like now think of another number and add it together i said okay and you're like i didn't sign up for fucking algebra today come on this is way too much yeah oh my god yeah i thought you guys were from la out of my asshole or something and then i he basically takes my phone and he's like what's the total number because he doesn't know either of the numbers i tell him the total number

And then he literally knows my passcode. And I'm like, so you're going to break into my bank account. And they're like, can you tag him in a post? And I'm like, I'm literally about to report this man. I'm about to call the police. And then he did anything as simple as just taking a dice. Identity theft. He took a dice.

And I was just holding it in my hand. And he'll be like three. And it would be three. It was fucked up. He's called like a mentalist. And he said he reads your mind. But he can only read positive thoughts. And I'm like, well, all my thoughts are negative. That seems like a scam. And honestly, it freaked me out. I threw the dice at some point. I got very freaked out. I think he put a spell on me. So if anything happens, ask Tom Sandoval. But Tom was like very chill, sweet, nice. It's so funny to meet people out of

their show. Cause you're like, Oh yeah. Yeah. You're like a normal ass fucking person. Yeah. He just was. And he went in and he watched the comedy show. Um, but the big story of LA for me was I looked amazing. Yeah, you did. You really did. But I do have to say something. I was like loving my outfits. Um,

I hired a stylist. Right. I did not put together these outfits. I did not wake up one morning and become a fashionista. Yeah. Right. But I want to tell you how I felt so uncomfortable. Yeah.

Because no one ever compliments my outfit. It's not something that ever goes in my mind. I don't think, oh, why haven't they said anything? Yeah. People are literally stopping me being like, oh, my God, I love your outfit. Yeah. And I didn't know how to respond. How to respond. I was literally like...

You just like slowly walked away. And I'm like, thanks. And then I'll like try to tell people where stuff is from. But it's like super awkward because you know what it is? I don't like compliments. I don't like them. I don't trust them. They make you uncomfy. I love them. Yeah.

They really kept me going. The way I feel about outfits is the way you feel about, like, comedy. Yeah. Like, I am expecting people to tell me they like my outfits. Where did they get it? Where did I get it? And I have my prepared answers. You're expecting people to be like, that was really funny. And you're going to say, like, I've been working on that set. I literally have the most political answer. Yeah. I'm like, thank you so much. Right. Like, it makes me happy to make people laugh. People say, like, your outfit. And I'm like...

We're like, oh my God, that's so weird. You're weird. Stop. I like look behind me and I'm like, wait, this, this, this thing. Yeah. But then I get paranoid because I don't want people staring at me. We're so different. Are you? I do not want to walk in a place and have people looking at my outfit. It's my literal drug. No,

No, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. I want people to not notice me and then I have to earn their affection by saying something so fucking witty. No, I want to walk in the room and I want the whole room to stop and be like, oh my God, she's here. And that usually only happens at, in Albany, in my kitchen. After your mom's like, Paige, come down for dinner. And you're like, is everyone ready for me? No, no, no, no.

Oh my God, that's so fucking me. I'm like, okay, but I'm doing an entrance. I had to do an entrance every single time I got ready for a prom. And by like the fourth one, my mom was like, we fucking get it. Get down here. We're late. We get it. You're a slut. We get it. We get it. You're going to blow jobs. We get it. What?

If your daughter gets asked to too many proms, you're like, let's have a talk. Let's have a sit down. Like, how did you even know so many dudes that wanted to take you to prom? Okay. Very personal question, but I will answer it. No, I had the same boyfriend. I only had two boyfriends in high school. And so, but I had like winter proms. He had winter proms. We had spring proms. He had, so they like added up. We barely had a prom. We barely had a gym.

because it wasn't high enough for the basketball court it was just like a building in Manhattan they were like here's the basketball court and we're like the ball hits the ceiling we taught ourselves on the sidewalk okay back in my day um okay I had a very I had a very LA thing happen to me this week what happened I got a text message from a publicist

And it said, and I got like nervous. It said, hey, just got an email from Us Weekly. Can you confirm or deny this quote? Or not quote, this sighting. And it was like, said that you were seen holding hands with Harry Jousey leaving a club last night. And in my head, so nervous. Like for two seconds, I was like, wait, what? What?

And then I was like, no, did I get into a car accident and have amnesia and like not forget that I like was dating Harry Jousey. And I was like, no, I was on a flight from Italy to New York like that exact time that I thought I was going to have to like prove it. Like I thought I was in court and I was just like, no, I wasn't. And she was like, OK, all good. Thank you. Like just I knew you were and I just had to like confirm it.

Was there a moment where you were like, should I be a messy bitch? No, but I said to the PR person, I was like, but send me the girl's Instagram who like is an imposter of me. And she was like, when I get it, I'll tell you. And the girl she sent is like, I think his legit girlfriend. We look nothing alike.

Nothing alike. No, you both have brown hair and you're beautiful. She's stunning. But she has like blue eyes. She has like the best body I've literally ever seen. She has the cutest name. Her name's Georgia.

Oh, I love that. But she's from Australia and she was on Too Hot to Handle season three and they fell in love, immediately moved in together. But Harry Jowsey, oh my God, he's so funny. He's actually so smart. Yeah. He's an example of someone who did a reality TV show and then has created this longevity of their brand. And he's the one who like,

He stirred up controversy that Khloe Kardashian was hooking up with him. Yes, yes, yes. Did he do that on purpose? And he was just laughing the whole time and he just kind of went with it when like it wasn't happening. Well, that was like...

Like what if they didn't reach out to me To like confirm it And they just wrote like page disorder But I was spotted Like could you imagine Well that's like what blind items do Yeah Where like the page six or whatever They like to like at least Vetted Be like they didn't respond for comment Right Or yeah Like if you said like oh I don't respond That means like let people think what they want to think I got nervous though

Do you think Harry's cute? I think he's so cute. He's a baby though. He's 24. That's an infant. A literal squirrel. That's literally illegal for me. Wait, that is so funny. For a second I thought it might be my celebrity boyfriend that you were seen with. Oh, no, no, no. The Gigglers? A lot of them figured it out. I'm not confirming or denying anything today.

I was at the stand doing comedy and some giggler just grabs me. She looks at me. She says his name and she goes, you don't have to say anything.

And I look at her and she goes, knew it. And she walked away. We're literally a cult. We're literally a cult. I gave them nothing. Nothing. Wait, it was so funny when you posted after when you were like, and the people that are guessing John Mayer, how dare you? I was getting like, it was about like the same five people that people were sending to me. And people are so funny. They're like, don't respond if this is right. But I was like, it's not Harry Styles. It's not Shawn Mendes. It's not.

And it will never be John Mayer. John Mayer. We all know that he flirts with Ciara. Right. Which I'm so mad about. John Mayer was our first ever inside Giggly Squad joke. He was. And that is a nostalgic. Speaking of men, I have one final thing to say about L.A. Gird your loins. Gird your loins.

There is a species of men in LA that we don't have in New York. Oh my God. And they're men in their forties, fifties and sixties who are like, who are in LA, who are tan, not hot. Yeah. Tan. Okay. They're just like,

Guys who are older who are not accepting aging like I don't know if they moved to LA to be an actor and nothing happened They're right love the LA scene guys in New York. Don't give a fuck how they look like you'll see No, just old gross men all over the Hamptons with like hot women and hot cars guys. It's actually infuriating Yeah, guys in LA will have these like weird little ponytails and like they still work out and they're like 55 and It makes me uncomfy

I am uncomfortable by all men. As of late. They all freak me out. No, the older men in LA are like getting fillers and shit. And it's like, call your children. I can't. Okay, I'm all for equality. I really am. But if the men start getting like lip filler...

I'm done. I'm done here. I think I'm done here. I do know. Like I'm not for it. They get the pecs. They'll get some Botox. I still think the guy on. Age. I still think the guy on Outer Banks has lip injections. And like. So I did post a controversial TikTok because I was bored one night. So I said that it's a scam to get preventative Botox. And my. I think it is. My argument was like.

how early is too early? Like you get, you're going to get toddlers on Botox. Like what does this even mean? And how like they just get you early on paying for it. And I do understand how like not moving your, your face could like prevent wrinkles from forming, but like you, Botox does not fix the skin like thinning.

It doesn't. Here's where I think people get confused. When younger girls hear that Botox is preventative, they think that it's going to keep them from getting any wrinkles and that their skin is going to stay the same. That's not what they mean when they say preventative. They mean that like if you are getting... So if I have like some fine lines on my forehead right now, they recommend... We love a fine line.

They recommend getting Botox as preventative so that the line doesn't get deeper. But it's not going to fix this like line and it's not going to like. OK, so then once I get it that first day, I can never not get it. It's a pyramid. So real. Yes, it's literally a pyramid scheme. Like a drug early in your life.

I really want you to do that one TikTok where it's like, what's a scam that like is so normalized that we don't even know it's a scam. Yeah. Like I want to see what you like. This is a problem. I could come up with 400 because I think everything's a scam. Because everything is a scam.

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and really replaced everything with Skims because I know it's always going to look good, and I know it always feels amazing. And you know how much I love laying in bed, so if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan. Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com, now available in sizes XXS to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select Podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop-down menu.

Oh my God. So what is your nail journey right now? You wrote that. You wrote it in the note. I know. But I literally cursed the day you were born. Because... So...

I had on fake like press on nails for like the first part of my Italy trip. And then like I was just swimming so much and like out in the sun, whatever. So I like picked them all off. And my mom was like, I'm just so done with those. And I go, I know me too. And so I cut my nails short.

I like buffed them and I have not put nail polish on them in a week. So I'm going on a full detox nail journey. I'm getting back into like my normal routine of going to gloss lab and just getting my nails painted. So it is short nail girl summer. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. So you're like organic now. She's into nature. She eats granola in the morning. You like eat placentas. Placenta pills that aren't mine. I sure do. Yeah. I finally put in that matcha station I've been talking about. My nails are cut too and they're natural. There's something about summer when I get sweaty and I'm eating tacos. Like I don't like...

What happens underneath my nails. I think like organisms start forming and I, they say under your nails is the dirtiest part of like your whole body. That's why like biting your nails is so bad for you because it's so journey. And I honestly think it's holding women back. Like we can't even pick up a penny. Yeah.

I saw this TikTok of this girl that does like chic thing. I think she's French. I don't know. Something that like girls in France do, like that girls here don't do. And like French girls are so much more chic. Like they accessorize their outfits less. They wear more like basic things together. It's just like looks all clean and neat. And one of the things was they're not in...

They're not in with the nail trend. Like they are short nails. Most of the time, no nail polish. And it's like seen as chic. Sometimes I feel like no nails is so much better than like just doing it to do it. So I'm getting on my no, it's a no nail summer for me. I kind of love that for you. You're going to save so much money.

I feel like the gigglers, we give them whiplash like one week. They're like, we have to buy every press on now. They were like, no nails. Like, no nails. Throw it away. We're like, this is a ski podcast. Just kidding. We play golf now. And now we're into tech. But the gigglers are down. They're fast. They're fast with it. It's one day at a time, honestly. But some of these nail parlors are a scam. I called it a nail parlor salon. I don't fucking know what that was.

back in my day one of these nail parlors nail parlor they charge like 200 for like an artist to do your nail and i'm like honestly honestly why did we just do that at the same time too much we just like are the same person do you say things sometimes and go i hang out i would have thought that was fun say it again you

I'll say things and be... Yeah, like, either Paige would think that was funny or, like, that's something Paige would say. Like, whenever I go, absolutely not. Yeah. I'm, like, that's... I'm literally just a walking Paige. There are a lot of times where, like, I'll be in a group of people and I know that...

that like a joke I'm thinking in my head pertaining to the situation is not going to hit with this specific group of people. But like I have to say it because it's too perfect not to. And like no one will laugh. You have to lose those friends. That is the worst feeling to be like, this is funny, but only not in this context with these people. Yeah.

It's like highbrow. I know. It's super highbrow. It's not their fault. And I'm so sarcastic. It's just... Wait, what were we just talking about before? We were talking about nails and stuff and how it's bad for feminism. I do want to let you know... Speaking of feminism, I got so mad at Des yesterday. Divorce him. I went to support his comedy at the Comedy Cellar. And we went with his friend. And I'm walking...

his shoes are hurting and i was like oh baby your shoes hurting he's like walking kind of awkward and he's all like oh yeah and his friend is like yeah those shoes are so uncomfortable and for a second i was like you fucking mother because i'm walking there in clogs okay i'm in clogs in 90 degree weather it's sweaty it's uncomfortable and he's in like a dress shoe you absolute fucks just men's clothes in general comfy as shit

So comfy. But also the like matching. It's so easy. It's so easy. They don't have to do anything. What's going on with Craig's style right now? Craig is okay. I feel sometimes I feel like I am a witch. No, you are. I think you are. That's why I'm scared of you. Or I just feel like I've broken him down in like the exact situations I want his personality broken down in. Yeah.

You've just trained him. I've just really trained him. There have been like recent situations where he... Okay, this is a perfect example. He's redoing the inside of his house and outside...

He wants to do like an indoor porch situation, but like screen doors. But like you could go out there in the winter and still like kind of be outside. There's a brick wall on one of the walls where he's going to put a TV on. We love. We love exposed brick. We love exposed brick. Get me horny. But the outside of his home is white brick. So I said, and the wall inside this like room is a red brick wall.

So months ago, I said, you got to paint this red brick white so that it matches the house. It's going to make the whole room look bigger. No, no, no, no, no, Paige. I love the red brick. I'm not changing that. I think that it's like really cool. Like two weeks later, he was like, oh, I have painters coming because they're painting that brick. And I was just like,

Interesting. He was like, no, you're... Like, you were right. Oh, he said that? That's big. Yeah. That's big. And so there have been, like, certain situations where he's been like, no, you were right all along. I just, like, had to get on board. So that's been happening recently. So my plan...

My plans have been working. And so with his fashion, he's like, you're right. Like I've been wearing, like trying to wear too much stuff and like match it together when really I like just being simple is cooler. And now he like checks with me. So he'll be like, just being simple is cooler, right? That's good. Check in with me. When you're a handsome man, like Craig could literally...

wear anything. The less is more. Like if he showed up in like a full on like velour tracksuit, I'd be like, that man is emotionally ill. It's too much. But like, I don't want to change him because I do love, like when I went to Italy and I bought him some gifts and I bought him very like him-like

but like modernized. Like I bought him these like really cool pair of blue, like electric blue velvet loafers, like driving shoes. And then I bought him like, there were suede. I don't know why I said velvet. Wait, what's a driving shoe? Like a, um,

like a boat shoe but it's suede they're like you'd wear them with like a suit like a summer suit oh cool cool cool cool so i got those with like a matching belt and then like a white linen shirt and i was like that's very charleston-y but it's muted no you're not trying to change him but think his his opinions and style has been based on are irrelevant you know

But it's based on his like lens of the world and the people around him. And now you're in his circle and you're just showing him more options. And if he chooses to evolve with it, that's right. But also, I don't think he's like that attached to like his. Is he that attached to his style? No.

i think he thought he was but i was like it's very outdated style like let me elevate you here's the thing if the men just listen to us a little bit more we would help them blossom help them grow but they're so combative with us so then we get angry and we're like you know what fuck you yeah it does the same thing we're all i'll just throw something out there and he'll be like absolutely not

And then a week later, he does it. And I'm like, like, he listens to me more than I think. Yes, that's what it is. That's exactly what it is. They actually can't make a decision without your opinion, but they don't want you to think they need your opinion because they don't want to come off as like, you know, not in charge or like not as secure. I was sitting on the couch.

Okay, but sometimes I feel like the boy because I'm like, damn, I'm so fucking mean sometimes or just like I don't care about things. I'm sitting on the couch and Craig is like trying on some new outfit and he walks out of my bedroom and I'm like looking down at my phone and he's like, you didn't even look at me when I walked out of the bedroom. I was like, what are you PMSing? Like,

out of my face yeah it looks fine they do say like relationships the masculine feminine energy like moves around like it is moving around currently it is so moving around well because sometimes like des is the performer and he's the diva and i'm just there to like support him you know and i kind of like that energy sometimes yeah i'm like go get him babe and i smack him in the ass and don't you love like the times that you're like so obsessed with them

like you get into like those moods where you're like oh my god i'm so fucking in love with you i know i mean okay now we're getting annoying someone has to put their foot down because that was annoying and that was disgusting so much gross shit we're not to make fun of them but the whole like do you know when you're just like in love i think that's inappropriate gross sorry i've just been having a lot of sex that must be it oh my god are you having a lot of sex good for you

Thank you. Well, it's because you were away for a little. Yeah, it was. Posting like Italy thirst traps. Literally like sharing a room with my brother every night. Like couldn't be more turned off. That'll do it. That'll do it. That'll do it. That'll do it. What did you write about British TikTok?

Wait, I'm so upset that I'm not on British TikTok. What does that mean? I know. I don't know. I don't know what my algorithm has been doing, but every so often, and I love when it happens, and I would say it happens like once every six months, I get on a full British algorithm. Wow.

where a video after video are british people living in england and i don't know like what stores they're talking about and like the supermarket on the corner but i'm like fully on british tiktok have you watched maiden chelsea yet no bitch no i know i'm telling you what

I need Craig to do my computer so that I can watch Love Island. You have to like RVN or whatever. Paige and I watched Love Island all of our last season of reality TV together. And as a result, I don't think I could watch it anymore. We did. It worked.

I only go watch it without you. And I also, it's just been... You know, when you're in, you see a movie and someone's in an insane asylum and they just do the same thing every single day because it's the only thing that keeps them not off the fucking deep end. That's how we were Summer House season five. Looking back on Summer House season five, that was pure survivor mode. We were in pure survival.

scared survivor mode lock all these people in a home during a pandemic where no one knows what's going on and film them who in the meeting agreed that it was okay it was just like are we gonna give them medicine though because like they need a xanax speaking of needing a xanax brad pitt and angelina what's happening like do i have to pick a side brad pitt and angelina they're fighting

About what? Oh my god. I have no idea. I've been like out of the game. Your only job is front page news, but it's okay. It's okay. Totally fine. Sorry, you've been posting your outfit links, so I thought like naturally you would just take over front page news too. I've been watching fucking docs up my ass. Just kidding. I love when we do that laugh. That's my favorite laugh. When we just go...

Okay, actually, I have to drop it here because I don't want you to be upset and I want you to find out through someone else. Jesus fucking Christ. I get another thing? It took me a year and a half, but I'm launching an Amazon storefront. I didn't want you to see it somewhere else. I'm not...

I'm not so surprised because I will say for the last six months you will randomly send me a text and be like so like how do you do the Amazon storefront like wait is it this code and I'm just like okay I'm not like it's hard apparently I apparently I accidentally became like an Amazon associate which I did not want to be and now I work for Amazon and I'm in the HR department they keep sending me emails and I don't know what's going on and apparently I've never been on

I now work for Amazon and I'm scared and I don't want to go to work tomorrow. No, but I was, I just launched my storefront. I'll post it. I put books. Um, started as a bookstore. Not forget. You're like, sorry. Um, the nineties are back in and so are all of them, but they are like books that people should read. I put some like summer stuff, um,

I just basically went to your page and reposted all your stuff. You know what? You know.

You know what you should do? Because I feel like you, this is you, like all the cat shit that you buy. Yes. You should do a category for like all of that. All of like the things that you have in your apartment that just like make your apartment life easier. That's good. Do like one for that. I was thinking like workout stuff, but I literally work out like a retired old man.

You also go on like three month benders of like working out every day and then you're like, sorry, I just ordered Mexican. My new thing is I don't work out, but I will play sports and walk. Okay. Okay. Okay. My new thing is that I don't work out. I eat whatever I want, but I've cut my portions in half. Oh, I thought you were going to say, but I have diarrhea. Yeah.

you've cut your portion in half that goes without saying well yes because you know what when i was in italy every like dinner i ordered was the perfect amount of food and when they put it down in front of you your immediate thought is like that is not a lot of food like i'm gonna be starving and then i would finish it and be like i'm actually the perfect amount of fall i do like not to like talk too much um

Shit about nutrition because we're not we don't know what we're talking about but necessarily however, I

When you crave a cookie, if you don't eat that cookie, you're going to be like obsessing about that cookie and like wanting sugar and feeling. And it's going to be like this dirty secret. Like I want that cookie. Have the cookie. Just eat the cookie and you'll prevent binging and obsessing and feeling like incomplete. Like even if it's like, oh, you crave chocolate. Just like grab like a tiny piece of chocolate and eat it. I've been on a real Krispy Kreme kick.

oh she's naughty what and so like i just like an original glazed and i have one right by my apartment and instead of buying like a whole dozen i'll just order like a couple six i'll order six that's why i get a dozen orders boston cream and it almost gave me the ick that is the most dad move boston cream

I'm like, what is it? What kind of cream? Because it's not whipped cream. Also, like, who does Boston? We love Boston. Shout out to Boston. We love Boston. It's yellow. It's one of our best live shows. But, like, what is it? How did they get a cream named after them? True. Like, whose dick did they suck? Ryan. And the guy was like, this is so good. This is whipped cream. It's so gross. No, like, I just didn't see it from him.

And he was so specific about it. And like when you're from Italy, what is the like? Which is not really good creams. Like what's the creams that we put in shit? Like a canola cream puff. Yeah. Cream puff. Yeah. Like we know our creams. I know our creams. Yeah. We bake creams with pasta. Yeah. Inside Boston cream. But I don't like it. I'm going to say.

I do kind of like it though. What does it taste like? Like if it's in a dozen, I'm going to eat one of them. I never think about them to order. But to order one is like savage. That's crazy. But I like that he knows what he wants. Okay. If you had the option between, okay, he's a 10, but he orders Boston cream. If you had the option to go. I want to do a whole podcast just doing those to each other. I know. Yeah.

jelly filled donut bossing or bossing cream filled donut bossing cream jelly filled is disgusting and i did have a fight with does about it he thinks those like cheap like one dollar apple pie things at like a 7-eleven is better than a like um what's what are those long or what's the not yodel

Literally anything. Literally anything. No, Twinkie. I said I'd take a Twinkie over an apple, fake apple pie. And he was like. That's crazy. That's crazy, Hannah. That I would? Yes, I'm on Des' side. What? 100%. That's not even apple. Like, what is that syrupy shit? It has nothing to do with the authenticity of what they're claiming to be. It has to do with the taste. Wait, I'm actually like confused bamboozled.

Lead a stray. I'm lead a fucking stray right now. I will stick a Twinkie up my butthole before sniffing a gross ass syrupy cough syrup apple bullshit. Fuck that shit. Ew! Dude, have you ever had the fucking apple pies from McDonald's? No.

Oh my god. Okay, first of all, I am a proud, proud mini apple pie eater. And I had one in my lunchbox every single day from third grade right up until high school graduation. I just think it's too sweet.

You're not a real dessert person. You know nothing, Hannah. It's true. Doesn't I got worked up? I got worked up about it. I just got worked up about it. I'm worked up. I'm worked up. Okay. Well, I'm worked up.

Also, one thing about men is they're so simple and beautiful. That's how we come back to our baseline. Baseline, let's go back to how men are out of control. He loves Diet Coke. He has a full problem, but I don't say anything because let him have something. But this man, I will be anywhere if I grab him a Diet Coke and I come home with a Diet Coke.

It's like I just had his baby. Yeah. And I feel like finding the thing in the relationship that's like very convenient for you, like so easy and doing it often will like keep your relationship together. Like I will literally, I'll visit his other family, get the tea, come back, want to distract him, bring a Diet Coke. No idea. That's how Craig is with like any type of seafood.

like if we're fighting i just like take my shirt off and say want to go get seafood fights over it's actually true i'm like i've won also des was going to ireland the other week and he said a giggler came up to him she was going to ireland too and she was like oh where are you going and he was like to ireland she goes to see your second family and walked away

No, I'm dead. We're the best. We're the best. Our cult is literally light years above other cults. And he didn't know that it was like that much of a joke. He's like, I thought it was just you on page. I'm like, no, it's just like hundreds of thousands of women. Just a circle of our closest friends. And they may or may not include other countries, other cities. Okay.

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We recently found out that Snooki's a giggler and we kind of have a insane, like, famous adjacent giggler. Famous adjacent. Yep. Do you want to tell them? No, I think you should tell them because... Someone messaged me and I don't want to blow up her spot and now I'm afraid, like, we're going to get...

I don't like, you know, like you want to be cool about it. You want to be cool. We're trying to be cool. We're trying to be cool. But I found out a couple of my sources and I have a lot of spies. Kylie Jenner's assistant listens to Giggly Squirrel. So in turn, her assistants, you know, doing her day to day tasks. And she probably says, oh, my God, Paige and Hannah are so funny.

I mean, the personal assistant is literally like your everything. Your eyes and ears. They're giving you info. They're telling you what is going on. They're like, you wake up, you have breakfast. You listen to Giggly Squad. Go do Kylie Skin. You know, it's like a whole thing. To Kylie Jenner's personal assistant, who we know you have a name. We do not want to dox you because we will protect you at all costs.

Anything you need. Anything. Because we know Kendall Jenner listens because she posted her perennium on Instagram today. Did you see? I was like, wait, Hannah, wait.

Okay. So many people were DMing me of other people on Instagram talking about that. And they were like, I feel like all these people listen to Giggly Squad and won't say that they listen to Giggly Squad. Because how many people were out here talking about suntanning your asshole? You know what? Other than us. You know what? She's a nine, but she has to tan her asshole.

I feel like saying perennium is so much funner. It's perennium sounds like a fancy fruit. It sounds like a flower. Yeah. It sounds like a parent. What is what flower? Chrysanthemum. Sorry. Just got married. I know these things. No, a perennium is like, would you like a little perennium on the edge? It's like a garnish. Yeah. It's a garnish.

can I top it off with some perennium and you're like yes yes you can if you get the juice of the perennium it really um is good for omega-3 fatty acids British people yeah British people totally perennium is definitely a British thing but yeah Kendall Jenner is single and posts full backwards nudity what do you think

I'm here for it. She is so young and I'm so sick of people like being like when were her and Devin going to get engaged? Like, I don't know. Maybe when she turned, you know, of age. I don't think she's going to marry a basketball player. I think basketball guys are like fun. But I think she's going to be the really cool aunt for a while. Yeah, I get to being single for a while. But I also want to say she's young. She's showing her ass. But if you're old, you could show your ass, too.

at any age you can show your ass this pod so i just needed to yes like let the nana could perennium if she wanted um also la traffic is so funny because you could literally murder someone and be like oh my god the traffic was insane i had to

I literally sent TikTok, LA traffic is everyone's excuse to like, oh my God, the traffic. I'll literally cheat on my boyfriend and be like, oh my God, sorry, it was the traffic. It was the traffic. He didn't know if I was going to see you again. The traffic was crazy. Yeah, the traffic. No, I...

I feel like we haven't, have we ever been to LA together? We just did a show together, but it's okay. I mean, it didn't, it wasn't an important thing in my life that I experienced with you. It wasn't something, well, I did forget my laptop and lose my podcast equipment in that trip. So I've tried to block it out too. Right.

No, but we've never like L.A. together. We've never L.A. That's what I'm saying. We've never L.A. Which I do. Oh, my God. We would have so much fun L.A. together. I love that we just made that a verb. Yeah, we have to L.A. together. Like we're L.A. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's because Kylie Jenner listens to Giggly Squad. I mean, yeah. If she wants to meet us for any reason, we may.

I don't know. Imagine if she named a lip kit after us. Giggle Girls. Giggly Gloss? Are you kidding me? Wait, that's genius. Patent that. Write that down. Yeah. We just like shoot her a DM. This podcast is just coming up with high ideas. But we're not high. That's the sad part. It really is. Finally, Denise Richards says,

oh why did this make me like this is a denise richards stay on podcast i think denise richards was so wronged on you know like didn't you feel you were like this woman has done so many amazing things she had an amazing first season she's so likable and then we ruin her i'm like like it made me upset for her career in general because it was like she didn't even need to fucking do that show

It was very clear watching that season because we both have been on reality TV. It was so blatantly obvious to me watching that season of Real Housewives and how much shit was edited, cut out, not explained enough that she looked crazy. And I could just tell that

There was so much going on behind the scenes that like they couldn't explain to the viewer because it would take too long. And they even had to break the fourth wall sometimes because it made so little sense. But the thing is like, I think Denise came on and she was so likable, so hot. Yep. And they were jealous. All the girls were like, I'm down to take her down if you are. And once they know, like production knows the girls are down to take someone down. It's like, let's have a fucking field day. And Denise, you could tell was like,

She had no idea what the reality TV game was. I think she genuinely thought she was coming on. She was just going to have fun. It was going to be light. It was going to be funny. No. These people are vicious. What? She was denying that she hooked up with someone on national TV? Yeah, that's a fucking normal thing to do.

And also like something that she did not want to come out. Someone else started saying it. And I think people act like, oh my God, she's lying. Like she's not telling the truth. There's a very big difference between lying to your friends, sitting at a dinner table and lying to all of America. Like, yeah, she lied to all of America because she doesn't owe you guys anything. She didn't want people to know she hooked up with whoever she hooked up with. Like that is a very normal thing. Like,

But it is crazy how that situation like made her like such the villain. When you think about it, like everyone else was actually just trying to expose her, which is like kind of fucked up. But I love that.

Look, her daughter is a Gen Z. She is, like, very in the OnlyFans game. Like, she probably made so much fucking money. Her dad was having a real issue with her starting it. And Denise was like, I back my daughter in anything she wants to do. And this sounds like a fucking genius business idea. And then she made one. And I thought that was...

I thought that was the... I'm kind of obsessed with it. I'm obsessed with it. Like, there's no better way of supporting your daughter than being like, we're in this together, bitch. And, like, just supporting women in general. Like, get the fuck over, like, women having sex and, like, enjoying having sex. And, like, everybody does it. And now they figured... We have figured out a way to sit in our beds and get paid by you dumb idiot men. Yeah.

Like, it's so fucking frustrating. I just like let the cute blonde post a pic. They were literally slut shaming an 18 year old girl who won. And it's like Charlie Sheen. Like, how many prostitutes have you fucked? And you're going to judge your daughter? Seriously. Sex work. Fuck you. Seriously. Charlie Sheen. Fuck you, Charlie Sheen. Fuck you, Charlie Sheen.

That just made me feel so much better. Fuck you, Charlie Sheen. Oh my God. That's my new mantra in the morning. Fuck you, Charlie Sheen. I'm going to say that in situations where like it is not applicable whatsoever. Just checking out at the grocery store. And you know what? Fuck you, Charlie Sheen. And just walk out. Remember when he was doing the hashtag winning thing? Like, fuck you, Charlie Sheen.

Ew. Go away. Oh my God. We gently bully each other and we hard bully men. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling with us. And yeah, check out my Amazon storefront. I hate you. Goodbye. Bye.