Giggling about Hannah’s birthday, gut feelings, and tattoo mistakes
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I mean, the day just got away from me. Okay, guys. What is up? Welcome. Giggle schnickles. Oh, that's a cute one. That was adorable. Ever since we had Kourtney Kardashian on, I'm always like, toodles, poodles.

Okay, I'm not gonna lie. I don't listen to our episodes after because I can't stand the sound of my voice sometimes. I like the sound of your voice right now, though. I am sick. I do have a cold. I don't have COVID. I got tested yesterday, but there's a cold going around. Yeah. I had a comedy show in Indianapolis and I went out after till 4 a.m. I was so naughty. I'm sorry. And I think I got a cold. You did?

You partied till 4 a.m.? Who are you? It was crazy because I did five shows. We were so tired. And there was like an opener and a feature and me. We all hung out all weekend. Then we were like, do we get a drink? And I was like, I don't do clubs. Like, let's just go to a little bar. And we go to the bar. And it was kind of slow. And someone was like, hey, my friends are across the street at this club. And I was like, okay. We get in. There was actually like gigglers there.

And this person literally was like, okay, like Hannah, we have alcohol, we have drugs, we have boys, we have girls, whatever you want. Welcome to Indianapolis. And I was like, okay. And that's how I got sick. Paige, you're wearing your hair in a side part. I know. What happened? What happened? Okay, so recently, and by recently, I mean like this just this past week, I just can't do it. Okay.

Like I usually do my like blow dry and I do my rollers and I do all this stuff and I've been letting my hair just air dry because I'm like, I'm a tired ass bitch. I'm tired. So when it air dries, I part that shit on the side because it's easier for me. But you know what? Your hair looks like it's blown drying. Thank you so much. Blow dried. Anyway, thank you. But also I would be the worst person to tell of that. I have some questions that I need to address with you. Yeah.

I saw Doja Cat with that like 90s lip liner of like dark lip liner around and light on the inside. Is that going to be a thing? Is that a thing? Just tell me now. I think that's a thing. I mean, it's the 90s trend is like not going away. And there's just I'm starting to get so over it.

Well, because it's fun to pretend you're in high school for like a second and then you're like, I did this already. I'm trying to be a grown up. I'm like so over like all the like camp aesthetic.

Thank you. I was there three weeks ago and you weren't there yet. Yeah, I'm there. I just feel like I'm 30 as of today. I forgot. It's my birthday. Thank you. Yes. And I can't be wearing these little camp freaking necklaces. I'm trying to be an adult. Do you feel 30? And what does that feel like? Okay, it's crazy. I do feel 29. I don't feel 30. Okay. I feel like it goes every other year. You feel the age and then you don't.

Like, I feel like I felt 26 didn't feel 27. I don't know. No, I agree with that. 27 was a weird one. Yeah, I'm like, am I old or not? Pick a side. Yeah, I didn't love 27.

I'm 30 is weird. 30. Now I get to be that like aunt at a party. That's like, I remember when you were so little, like, yeah, you're that aunt. I was hanging out with this, one of Des's friends, daughters who was so cute. She's four years old. I said, how old do you think I am? And she said,

40. So I'm still emotionally dealing with that. Okay. First of all, that bitch. But then I said, how old do you think your dad is? Who has gray hair? And she goes 11. And I'm like, okay, your shit is off. Okay. Your child is not the smartest. Okay. So let's talk about that. I feel like if anyone was going to get into a fight with a child, it would be me.

Well, that's like where reality TV goes. Like eventually everyone starts having kids. And then next thing you know, you're watching Vanderpump Rules and Lala's kid is having a fight with Jack. Could you imagine little baby Ocean just being like your trash? Well, we know for a fact that Kanye has beef with Stormi. So like it happens. Some kids are as he I think as he should. Kids are really good at telling people's character. So it's a give and take. They're like dogs.

It's so funny because over the last three years, because I was busy, I never really celebrated my birthday. Yeah. But then I've been like traveling and I got really sick and I was like, oh, I'll just do like a dinner date with Des tonight. And now he's like, you're really sick. Are you sure you want to go? And we've just been watching Netflix, the hit and run show. What is that?

It's like this Israeli drama, which has been pretty intense for the last six hours. And I've been going, and he's like, you're so dramatic when you say, OK, boys are the most dramatic. I have a man flu. I said, what is a man flu mean? Are you calling me a man? And he goes, no, it's like how people think men are dramatic when they're sick. That's how you are. And I'm like, this shit could be Delta. I could be Delta.

be dying right now bro you could have to go to the hospital have some compassion on your 30th birthday i know it's my 30th so he let me watch my netflix all day with him um i've been watching a show on um apple tv that i think you would also really like it's called ted lasso it's with jason sedankis

it's a comedy right it's a comedy and he basically like goes and runs this like uk uh soccer team or like a football team there jason sudeikis is your crush though i love him i one of my friends told me to watch this because he said that i remind him of the girl in it her name is keely and at first when i started watching her i was like

I don't fully feel like this is a compliment. And then I kept watching and I was like, wait, she's fun and she's cute and she wears cool outfits sometimes. And then I took it as a compliment. But,

It's really funny and I've gotten my brother into it and I tell everyone now. I feel like it's a real 75-25 when someone is like, oh my God, you remind me of this person and you're like, oh God. And by 75, I mean you're not going to be happy. Right. He sent me like one clip and he was like, this is like so you. And I was like, no, you're right. And then you had to like repeat that in your head for three days. Yeah, I just replayed the clip. Is that what the world thinks of me?

Is that how I look on the side? And I can't really see my side profile all the time. Yeah, it wasn't looks aesthetic. It was more of personality. A bunch of gigglers that I was on good terms with were saying I was Anna de Armas for a while, which was very flattering. I don't see it. Maybe an angle of my face, but I don't see it. But it's Leo season, bitch. And you know, some other Leos.

A very special Leo is Kylie. Kylie Jenner. Yeah, her birthday was like yesterday or the day before. But I wanted to analyze Kylie's birthday posts from her sisters. So if I go to Kim Kardashian, her post was Kylie baby 24 karat gold birthday today. You really have a heart of gold and a soul of platinum. And I hate you for being richer than me. Just going to add to that.

I'm so proud to be your sister. You always stay so true to yourself always. And it's so admirable. Big word, Kim, to watch you grew up being the best mom celebrating you today and always. I love you. And she posted a ton of cute selfies with them. OK, cute. I think that's fine. I am so not in to grid birthday posts.

Oh, no, I hate. I mean, it would totally. I'm not fucking up my aesthetic for your goddamn birthday. See it on my story, bitch. It's gone in 24 hours like your birthday. No, I like woke up this morning and I was like, what is Paige going to do for my birthday? And I knew that you would never post me on your grid. So I wasn't. I was just like waiting for notifications. And then I got a text like 20 minutes ago being like, I'm so sorry. I was busy all morning. I was like, yeah, you should be. Yeah, because bitch was questioning everything. Wait, did you get my delivery? Yeah.

Not yet. I don't know why I said it in a British accent. Why are we speaking in an accent? Sorry, did you... My delivery. I'm sorry, I sent you something for your birthday and I haven't gotten a confirmation that it's been delivered. So I just wanted to check on that. It hasn't been delivered yet, but I have nothing better to do all day than to wait for it. Thank you. So, Kourtney Kardashian, I love hers. She posts one photo, and I don't know if you could see it, but you could see her face. Yep.

But you can't see Kylie's face. It's the back of Kylie's head. I love it. And she looks cute. She goes, happy birthday to my magical Tinkerbell. There's no one like you. One of a kind. Hmm. I think the Tinkerbell thing is cute. Yeah, I feel like she should have. I feel like you have to have the person's face in the photo that you're doing a happy birthday for. It's kind of about you. No, I think so as well. Yeah. So now let's go to Khloe. I feel like Kim is winning this so far.

Chloe, okay, I love her photo because you can't, she's kissing Kylie. So you see Kylie's face more than Chloe's. And she said in like her weird font she does this whole long thing. Like, do you feel like they competed with each other for this? Like who's going to have the best? I don't know. I think I don't have sisters. That's so fucked. You're my sunshine, my only sun time. She sings that. What are you going to say? I was going to say.

We could never have sisters like we just couldn't. I don't think I feel like I would be. This is awful to say, but I feel like if I had a sister, I would be not mean to her, but I would be so hard on her, I think.

Like a little judgy. Like, yeah. Yeah. Like, is that what we're doing? Like, stop doing that. And like, don't wear this. And like things like that. That's probably why God's like an extension of you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so she had a ton. Hers is really cute. But now let's see what Kendall did. Now, Kendall, I feel like cares about her grid. So let's see. Kendall did nothing. No post. No post. You want to know what she because because again, we don't know them. She probably called her.

You know what's so funny, though? I did have a moment where, like, everyone's texting me and I'm like, okay, well, where's the tag, bitch? Yeah. Where's the tag? Someone FaceTiming and I was like, thank you. I'm sick. No, it's my birthday. Like, leave me alone. It is funny when how social media has just completely changed birthdays. Well, do you remember your Facebook wall? Yes. I remember being like, shit's about to pop the fuck off.

And I would just get a ton of notifications. And people used to know each other's birthdays because you'd get notifications of people's birthdays every day. It was an excuse to write on your crush's wall or rekindle something. And if someone wrote HBD, it was like, mm. I feel like in high school, every girl's birthday post for their friend started out with, where do I begin? It's like, bitch, you're 16. You've only known them for three years. Start three years ago. You're beginning. You're beginning.

You met her in homeroom two weeks ago. Now we're on Kris Jenner. Happy birthday to my littlest angel. Basically, yeah, we know Kylie is the favorite and she posts... This is the thing. No one's posting the ages of 12 to 17 because...

Because she didn't look the same. That's when you could see what she really looks like. But she was adorable as a child. She was adorable as a child. What do you think about all the conspiracy theories that she's pregnant? Have you seen them?

They think that Kylie is pregnant because they've been like following her Instagram stories and they think that she's been posting Instagram stories that she's previously recorded. I mean, I wouldn't put it past them because they are a dynamic strategic team when it comes to this stuff. I have a question for you. Okay. And this is a mental health life moment kind of thing. Would you rather... What are you more scared of? Okay. Getting pregnant or getting married? Wow. Wow.

And I mean this like deeply. Like I always joke about getting married. But like recently I was like, oh my God, I'm getting married. Like I've chosen the person I want to be with my whole entire life. Yeah. And there's no like rule book for it. And there's no like angel that pops up like you did it. You found it. Like it's all you just deciding. Okay. That's scary. So would you rather make a decision that you're going to spend the rest of your life with one person or have a kid that you have to...

be responsible for for at least 18 years I am definitely way more scared to get married yeah and I think it's because when I think about getting pregnant I'm excited because I'll be like oh I'm married and I picked the guy and like that's going to be exciting when I'm like figure that out well I didn't say you were gonna be married when you had the kid oh man oh man

Well, because I'm thinking about like Kylie, Gigi. It's more like they're like, look, it's more stressful for me to lock down a person like legally than for me to have a baby with someone I love. I am like open to all things. Look, if obviously if I got pregnant right now and it broke through that birth control barrier. First of all, I'd write a strongly worded email to my birth control company. But besides that, it is crazy to think that like

Well, yeah. You have a baby now. And that's terrifying because...

I basically realized turning 30, I'm like, wait, this is how it feels like junior year in college when they're like, you don't really have to pick a major. Like you'll figure it out. And then senior year, they're like, you need to pick a major. You're doing a job in like three months. What the fuck are you doing? So I was like living life. And then someone was like, basically I'll tell my mom like, oh, I'm late by a day. And she doesn't give a fuck. She's like,

Like, look, if you got pregnant, I mean, you're 30. And I'm like, are we there? Because I feel like we missed like seven years. Okay, question for you. If you found out you were pregnant tomorrow, would you postpone your wedding or would you get married? Oh my God. Let's think of the most fucked up scenarios. Continue. Would you get married whilst being pregnant?

Or like would you have the baby then like want to take a couple months then replan your wedding? Like what would be the strategy there? Oh, fuck. I don't – I'm so bad with like real life stuff. I like making jokes. Yeah. It's really stressful. I recently – you know how like when you like a guy –

He can say something and you're just like, oh, I love it. But when you don't like a guy and he says something like he could say the exact same thing and you're like creepy. I hate everything about you. You like never breathe in my direction. Literally, don't even breathe my same air. I had a guy recently tell me that he was like, you know what I was thinking about, which is so weird. And I was like, what? And he was like, how adorable you'll look one day pregnant.

That is the perfect thing that if someone you don't like says that, you're like, I'm calling the police, you in court. Literally. I'm girding my loins. I'm on. Love of my life said that. Yeah. It's cute, but I'm like, okay, well, I was like, wait, my birth control. I was like, wait, first of all, you're not wrong. I was about to say.

say he's not wrong. I just envision your like your skinny little legs and little arms and little fingernails. And then just a basketball. Just a little basketball on my stomach. Now I know now what this poor man does not know is

Is that I know for a fact when I get pregnant, I'm going to go straight Jesse James Decker on that shit. And like my tongue is going to be swollen like Kim Kardashian. I'm going to be I just already know it. Like I'm going to be vision you like getting McDonald's sponsorships like a swipe. I would. Oh, my God. Could you imagine? You're going to be so annoying. Like at 2 a.m. You're gonna be like, babe.

Babe, are you up? I need some chicken nuggets for the baby now with a side of ranch and sweet and sour. I do that now. You got me in a bad habit. Oh my God. But it was just so crazy when he said it because that was my first thought was like, wow, if any other guy said this to me, I'd be like,

I'm on the phone with my lawyer. Like, get out of here. Well, one thing I think I'm realizing about life is that you're never actually fully ready for anything. But when I think about all of my years on this planet, any job I took that I wasn't fully qualified for, I...

That was a good decision. Well, this is my question, which is what I'm currently dealing with in life in general is like, when is something your gut and when is it your anxiety lying to you? Yeah. And I feel like this could be in so many elements of life, friendships, relationships, jobs, where, you know, back, you look back at situations and you're like, duh, just listen to your gut. It was so right. But if I listened to every crazy thought that comes into my head, I would be an impulsive, crazy person.

No, I wouldn't be able to go out on my balcony if I listened to everything like my brain said to me. Yeah, it's like understanding your voice, like what is real and what's not. What's your gut speaking to you and what's like your past just like trying to haunt you? Yeah, because sometimes I'll meet people and like my intuition will be like, don't trust this person. But then like I'll sit back and I'll be like.

That was just you being like not wanting to like open up to someone. But you're always right. And then like four days later, I'm like this motherfucker. I was spot on. No, I feel like me and you are so good at that. Not four days. I'm saying four years where you go, I knew it. Or when someone then comes to you and is just like, can you believe that? And I'm like...

Funny you say that. Yes, I can. Yes, I can believe that. Yeah. But this is the problem. I was like, and I think you're really good at it too with men. Mm-hmm.

I will know immediately. Like think of when he first walks in and says something to you. Immediately you either go, you roll your eyes or you're like, or you're like, I will have sex with you. Yeah. And I feel like the guys who I've rolled my eyes on and then convinced myself because they like me or because of their social status or because they're giving me food, I will come and then I'll be like, I didn't want, I didn't like this motherfucker. Yeah.

You convinced me to like you. I knew I was fucking right. Yes. I hate when that happens. And then I'll find myself being like, why don't I listen to my intuition more? And then my anxiety will pop in because was it? OK, you're making me feel less crazy because there are moments when I'm like, oh, this is my gut. And then I'm like, burn the house. So speaking of impulsive decisions.

As you know, I've been trying to be more active on my TikTok. Yes, you've been doing a phenomenal job. Oh my God, stop. You're going to make me cry. It's my passion. It's my art of expression. No, you've been doing so good. And then I checked your followers the other day and I was like, she's literally killing it on TikTok. She is going to start being Gen Z.

She's like, what? 30? No. You know why I'm doing it? It's literally just so our head of operations, Elena, like thinks I'm cool because she makes fun of me 24-7, which is why I like her. But like deep down, I just want her approval. Yeah.

Um, but sometimes I do these like weird BuzzFeed videos about celebrities. And recently I did one about tattoos. And I also asked the gigglers. Yeah. What tattoos they've gotten. But first of all, Paige, have you ever come close to getting a tattoo? And what was it? And why? I've never come close, but there was a period in time in college that me and my best friend wanted to get tattoos on our wrists.

that were like the it was like the white ink so it almost looked like a scar and I was going to get half a heart and she was going to get the other half of a heart so when we put like our hands together it made a full heart.

For like a photo At that point It wasn't like big I wasn't big on my grit Or like that was your Party trick at the bar You were like Look at this Oh it's too dark Never mind But I We obviously That was also Very drunk Conversations Yeah But I've never like Walked into a tattoo place And been like tempted Here's the thing with tattoos And how I think about it

I am not creative enough to come up with something that I could look at every single day and be like, I really like, I still really like that. And that gives me anxiety. And I feel like some people feel like that and still get tattoos. But instead, they're just like, I'm not going to love one of them that much. So I'm just going to get a shit ton and make my body a work of art, which I have a friend in comedy. Her name is Natalie, who's tatted up. Mm hmm.

I was like, I feel so cool that I have a tatted up friend. Yeah. Everyone needs one. I even feel like that when girls have like their cartilage pierced. I'm like, we're badass. I almost, again, never came close. Yeah. I got my, I was thinking like, you remember inside your lip would be cool? Yes. Like. One of my friends has hot sauce inside of her lip. She got it on her 18th birthday. It's still there. One of my friends got the best thing. She had.

Got drunk. She put red lipstick on, kissed a paper, and got her lip kiss stain on her butt. She kissed her own ass. I love that. However, because she sits on it a lot, it kind of came off a little, so...

Also, like, Hailey Bieber in them. A lot of girls have really cool tats on their hands. I like those. But do you want to know what I always think about those tattoos? The day of my wedding. Whenever I think about tattoos, I think of my wedding day. And I'm like, would I want some, like, little thing on my wrist in my wedding photos? And no, I don't. Just put makeup on it. Oh, yeah. I never thought of that.

I can't wait for your wedding day. You're going to be out of control. Out of absolute control. But what I wanted to say about the tattoos, I've seen girls who have like full sleeves who fucking rock it. Like I wish I could be that edgy. But I feel like are we too old to get tattoos now? No. Maybe. Maybe.

What would we get? What would we get? And okay, not what, because we have no idea what we would get. Where would you get it? The only thing I thought of was getting Brooklyn in script under my boob, which is like, honestly, no. Literal trash. Thank God I didn't do that. No, literal trash. That is...

How do you really feel about it? I feel like I saw Rihanna's like her under the boob thing and I thought it was hot and I was like, I'll get Brooklyn under one boob. Here's the other thing. Anything like in that region of your body, you also have to think about like the day you get pregnant. If you get pregnant and like your boobs get bigger and then they go back to normal, like what if the tattoo is like saggy? All valid concerns. So I scoured the internet and

To see the worst celebrity tattoos. Okay. Let's do it. Yeah. So Ariana Grande apparently got a Japanese tattoo that says, like, Japanese food, and she thought it said something else, and it was on her hand. What did it say? It said something that wasn't right. It wasn't right, and I feel like this happens too often to people. But how does it happen to Ariana Grande? Aren't you going...

To like the best tattoo artist around. I don't. You know what? I don't know. I read it off a sketchy website. So I'm probably wrong. This is alleged. And again, we don't know her. We don't know her. No. Maybe she wanted Japanese food or whatever. OK. Kat Von D. Yeah. He's not talked about enough. Was married to this guy, Jesse James. Yeah.

And she got the creepiest tattoo ever of his face as a child. Like, and it's like a creepy face. Wait, is that the guy that was married to Sandra Bullock? Yes. And he cheated on Sandra Bullock with Kat? They're divorced. Yeah. So Kat Von D gets this, like, haunt my dreams photo of this kid that's like, la, la, la, la, la, la. Yeah, no. And then he proceeds to cheat on her 16 times. Could you imagine?

She has to get a number 16 tattooed on her. Oh, my God. 16 times. Where do you find the time?

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn.com slash results.

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on her that was supposed to say like live life with no regrets but it was worded wrong wow so that was a mistake on her end um also just letting you guys know i'm gonna go through the giggler statues because there's some really good stuff in there do people in other countries get american sayings on them and spell it wrong like like they want live laugh love but it says like turkey mustard mayo like i don't know

That's amazing. That's amazing. Okay, sorry. My TikTok's loading. Also, I hope Hayden Panettiere is doing well. I haven't heard about her in a while. I used to really like I I loved her. I still love her. I feel like she didn't reach her full potential in the acting world. And that makes me sad for her. I think she could have been a real A-list celebrity. I know what happened. She got involved with the wrong guys. She got involved with a hockey player. Ugh.

Is that who she was married to? Yeah. Is that the one that? No, I thought she was married to like that Russian like boxer. Oh, OK. I'm looking this up. Yeah, because I want to know. We're saying a lot of crazy shit today on this pod. And Hayden Panettiere, American actress that Paige is disappointed in. Yeah. Oh, she was with Milo Ventimiglia. No way. For how long? They just dated? Yeah.

For two years. Good for her. Good for her. Now she's with Vladimir Klitschko, who is, yeah, he's a heavyweight boxer. Yeah.

Yeah. They're still together. I don't think he scares me. I'm going to do some some I'm going to do a deep dive on Hayden Penetier. Oh, no, no, no. OK. She was with that guy from 09 to 11. Then she was with him again from 13 to 18. And now she's with Brian Hickerson, who is always getting arrested. And like they had a lot of domestic violence. Oh, my God. Yeah. So with ex Brian after his jail stint. Yeah. She's not in a good place.

If this teaches us anything, say no to fuckboys. But also, this reminds me, I sent you that video of Big Ang. Do you remember Big Ang? Yeah. And she's like, I'm dating this new guy. He was in jail for murder, but he did get me. My favorite part was her son that goes, if he's in jail for murder, that doesn't mean he's a bad guy. Then what does it mean? Then what does it mean? The guy probably deserved it. The guy deserved it. So Drake...

a tattoo of like a black perfume. His Dracar Noir, which was his Twitter handle. And it looks like a beetle. No, I hate it. I hate it. Then Steve-O got himself on his back, which is like, he pranked himself. Main character syndrome. If I've ever seen that. Oh my God. And then Zac Efron got YOLO on the side of his hand. Oh.

This is why, guys, don't just go with trends. One of my friends got the Nike symbol on her foot. She has since removed it. I was like, wait, I kind of think that's hilarious. Okay, now I'm pulling up some Giggler tattoos. Let's see what they said. My friend's ex got a tattoo of a quote of hers to try and save their relationship after they ended. What kind of quote? Tell me she didn't tell us what the quote was.

She didn't tell us what the quote was, but it's like I was thinking, like, what would my quote be? You can't leave us hanging like that. Like, give me more chicken parmesan. Yeah, yours would be something about farting. Someone said a piece of bread on my arm. That's hilarious.

But it's like funny for like three seconds and you're like, wait, you've got it. But I enjoy people that like don't put a lot of emphasis on tattoos and are like, yeah, I'm going to get this stupid tattoo. I don't give a shit. Like and they have to live life with that kind of lackadaisicalness. Yes, exactly. My friend has a tattoo of a mangle white claw on her calf. Big white claw fan.

It's so trashy that it's not. Yeah, they can. Someone wrote made in the USA on their ass and then they found out they were conceived in Canada. This girl at a party showed me a tattoo of the words thug life just above her vagina. Like, okay. I like reading it exactly how they write it. Wait, thug life? Imagine. She's from Connecticut. Wait.

meeting the love of your life and you're like oh my god she's perfect and like the first time you have sex with her she just like takes her pants off and it just says thug life you're like she's marriage material but this teaches you girls you know how to be marriage material just be yourself okay and if if the life is being a thug then you do that dude i think if we are to ever get tattoos it's post post marriage post babies thug life above our vaginas

Or before, just to see how it stretches out, see how it evolves over time. It looks like a script at the end. My husband got a heart covered in thorns on his chest the day his ex got married. His high school ex got married. Okay, I don't love that. Okay, it's a bit much. My husband has multiple Zelda tattoos. I don't even know what Zelda is, but I feel like it's a comic book thing. Oh, Zelda is like a, isn't it a video game? Yeah, I think it's a comic book. Yeah.

I also love when the gigglers are honest. One girl said, I have the basic bitch blessed on me. If you have blessed or an infinity symbol or an infinity symbol with blessed in it, we love that for you. You know where else I would like potentially think about getting it under my on my neck or like right back, like the back of my neck or right under my earlobe.

Why? I don't know. One of my girlfriends actually has a skull right like under her earlobe and you can like you never notice it, but it's like cool. Yeah. Yeah.

You also think like I can hide all this stuff. But then when you go to the beach, it's like people find it. Yeah. Winnie the Pooh on the back of one calf and Stitch on another. Okay. We love cartoons. Big cartoon fans over here. Also, I don't have a high pain tolerance. So like I unless it's like uncomfortable shoes that look good. But I I can't I don't think I could sit there.

And get a tattoo. But I think that's part of it for some people. They want to be like, I fucking survived this tattoo. And I went through the pain. And that's a whole other conversation for another day. How do you think Jennifer Lopez actually feels about Ben Affleck's tattoo? I've been waiting for you to ask that to me this whole time. She's... Jen Affleck... Jen Affleck. Jennifer...

knows that people make mistakes and she'd rather a back tattoo than sleeping with every fitness model in a country radius. You know? Good answer. Good answer. That's what I think. I think after what she dealt with, she's like, I just want someone who, who loves me for me and isn't going to betray me. Yeah. In the public eye. No, I get, no, I get that. You portrayed yourself with that tattoo, but don't betray me. And like also wear a shirt.

Wear a shirt. Okay. They have more couples paparazzi photos than I have with Des for a year. Yeah. I can't find one photo of me and Des. Yeah. They have a new photo every day. It is kind of crazy. How does she pick the outfits? How does she know where she's getting photographed? Like, there's so many logistics with that as well. It's just...

I don't care though. I love them as a couple. I really do. And tattoo, no tattoo, whatever. Who do you love more? Them or Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer? Okay, that's a lie. Is it a made up thing? Yeah, that's made up. And I've said it once on the pod and I've had so many people come for me. I've never really watched Friends. You know, I'm going to be honest right now. I've never watched Friends either. I like...

Here's the other thing. I don't care. It's too late. It's too late. It's over. It's too late for us. It wasn't our time when it was on and popping. And you want to know what? There's a lot of really good shows that I have watched. What? I've watched good shows. Yeah, I know a good show when I see it. I just don't need to watch every single one. My grandpa always had Friends on in the background, but I didn't understand that there was a storyline. Yeah.

I've never watched The Office. I've watched The Office. I haven't... Like, I haven't watched it through. I haven't watched it through, but I've watched multiple episodes. I have this weird thing where when people like something too much, I don't want it. I get that. Do you want to know... I know I didn't even start it yet. The reason I've watched so many miscellaneous Office episodes is because...

Throughout the years of my singledom, you know when you're hooking up with a guy, whatever, and then it's time for bed. But you're not passing – unless you're really drunk or whatever, you're not passing out right away. So there's some time where you put something on. It's like, can you fall asleep to this? I have my go-to if someone spends the night, and other people have their go-tos. Okay.

Once was hooking up with a guy and every single time he would put the town on with Ben Affleck. Great movie to fall asleep. So aggressive. It was aggressive. I thought I thought it was good.

It was fine. It was good, but I feel like it's, like, abrasive. Yeah, it's abrasive. It definitely was abrasive, but he loved it. And, hey, who am I to judge? He's like, oh, this puts me right to sleep. It just relaxes me when Ben Affleck shoots someone's brain up. I've had some guys that love to throw on, like, a funny... Like, a Wedding Crashers or a Step Brothers type. I think that...

What's the one with Jonah Hill, like his very first movie? Superbad. I think that is a go-to. This is a conversation the girls need to have more. This is important. It's actually very important. What is your go-to? My go-to is New Girl.

That's great. Because I'm like, have you ever watched New Girl? And they're usually like, no. And I'm like, it's really funny. And it's very easy to fall asleep to. Not everyone thinks it's funny. But I started watching so many fucking Office episodes because it felt like everyone I was hanging with was like, I'll put The Office on. And I wanted to be like, okay, well, I'm on this episode currently.

from this guy so if we could catch up me with game of thrones i like started dating this guy who loved game of thrones and i hadn't watched it and it was like season four so i started it from there and then i stopped and then like a year later another guy wanted to watch it and i started like where you see where you left off yeah and then i tried to start from the beginning and it was a whole mess it was a whole i don't recommend it i put on the tennis channel all the time

no way what even is the tennis channel okay you have to be rich but it's like an add-on one of those add-ons for like 5.99 and I always have a tennis channel on the background wow yeah because I just I've I like watching it and it does put me to sleep sometimes good it's all about what puts you to sleep um you know it doesn't put me to sleep I have a tv

Oh my god, Hannah. Okay, so I can't... Recently, I like can't watch reality TV unless it's absolutely absurd. Like I haven't been watching any Housewives. I just like I can't do it. I do have to say I turned on Love Island by accident and I had like a full panic attack. Really? I was like, I just like couldn't... They were like having an awkward conversation. I was like... I can't do it. Everyone's been DMing me to start Love Island again and I probably will because...

But I am so fucking hooked on 90 Day Fiance. Oh, really? I'm back on it. Which part? Which one? Okay, so I have watched it.

Full disclosure, I had a friend staying with me and he was just like, what do you watch? And I was like, whatever, I don't care. And he threw on 90 Day Fiancé. When I tell you I have not left my apartment in four days because I am so involved in 90 Day Fiancé waiting for their reunion to air coming Sunday. Okay.

Oh, so it's the newest season. I'm watching the newest season. And then I have gone back. There is a spinoff show called Single Life where some of the people, like Big Ed from the season we watched during quarantine, he's on Single Life. He got this amazing girl to fall in love with him. He then broke up with her. And he has completely manipulated her. Okay, wait. I have to also go into this. The host that they have for their reunions...

I'd never really seen her before. I don't know if people are talking about this, but she's not that great. Like she doesn't ask the questions. I'm like, I've only watched the show for like three days and I've seen every episode and I could ask better questions. So you're like yelling at the TV. Yeah, I'm like, why don't you ask? Don't let him get away. Bubble up.

Seriously, and I can't, it's like, it almost makes the show unbearable. Well, because you need the host to, like, Andy Cohen, who's like, no bullshit, and he will try to call people out. Right. Even if he's right or wrong, he's going to at least push to get reactions. Right, yeah, just to see what the other people say. So anyway, so I'm back on my 90 Day Fiancé bullshit. I bet you're going to say, so I'm applying to be the host of 90 Day Fiancé reunions. Honestly, I almost... Did you watch the Love is Blind reunion? I did.

What did you think of it? Because I watched the first second. I was like, I can't do it. I love G. I'm so fucking team G. It's not even funny. With that said, I feel bad that no one told Francesca the dress code. I would have been absolutely livid. Did she dress too fancy? Not fancy enough. No, it was like full cocktail attire. Who is the girl? Who's the main girl?

that got married. She came in... Amber? No. Oh, Natasha. No. No, whatever. The girl that married the scientist guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is her name? I always forget her name. Whatever. Yeah. I don't know anyone's name. He's Cameron. Is that his name? Yeah. I don't know. Whatever. She came in in a purple dress and she looked...

I mean the most stunning, she looked the best out of everyone there. It wasn't even like a competition. Um,

But I just think it's very interesting that they had Francesca from Too Hot to Handle come on. Like, is Damien dating her? Like, I just thought it was so weird. So they didn't make it clear if he was with her? I mean, he said he wasn't with her. So she just was chilling there? Yeah, they were just friends. If I was G, I would have... Okay, Lauren. Her name's Lauren. Lauren. Oh, I knew it was something. Wait, wait, wait. So the reunion was only the people on the cast and then randomly Francesca? Yeah.

It was like he brought her and was like, this is just my friend. And G and him were like kind of taking like a break or whatever. And she was just like, okay. Yeah, it was so weird. I would have like thrown a drink in it. Did she react? Like, did she? She was literally like, well, what kind of friends? Like, this is like weird. And I do. I think it's weird. Look, I do think that guys like grown men and grown women can have platonic friendships. I do have like a lot of guy friends that I...

I've definitely thought of my friends. Yeah. But I've definitely thought about having sex with them. Not that I would or I want to, but like it's entered my mind like, oh, I wonder what it would be like to have sex with him. But I don't talk to them every single day. And if I have a boyfriend, I especially do not. That's just like rude. Guys who are friends don't call you every night, call you every day, that kind of thing. No, it's my thing is think with your reality TV brain.

It's fine if he's friends with Francesca. Why did he have to bring this particular friend to the reunion? What she's saying is, why are you trying to embarrass me by bringing this girl and confronting me without telling me? They made their reunion too long. It's too far after the season. I didn't really care about the reunion. And it was also like a weird...

It was just weird. It was like an anniversary party. It was just like, I don't know. Well, they tried to play it really like, let's throw an anniversary party and it'll be super natural and just happen to invite these people. They should have just went full in and be like, this is a reunion. Let's fight it out again. Yeah. Agreed. Also, I did do a deep dive on Francesca on TikTok. Yeah. And what did you find? She's been on a journey. Yeah. She... A hair journey. She started dating a girl for a while. Oh, I had seen that.

And they were really cute together, but then they broke up. And then most recently, she's getting her lips dissolved. Good for her. Which means...

I feel like as wild how good her lips look. And you know, I'm not trying to say it, but like as it's dissolved. No, we know you know, we know you feel better. That's fine. But I'm mad when you do it and it makes you look worse just because you think that's what you should look like. Her natural lip looks so good. Well, that's how we Molly May. We love Molly May from Love Island. She got her lips dissolved and she's like, I feel so much better. She looks better.

Yeah. And it's like, again, the big lips are a trend, but I feel like girls are getting their lip dissolved. That's like, but it's like expensive. Is it? And I also heard that it doesn't actually like. No. They say that like, yeah, you're getting them dissolved, but it doesn't actually. God bless you, small baby. I know. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks, everything.

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Terms and conditions apply. I have my new friend in Indianapolis. I'm moving to Indiana now. I did have a little too much fun. I was like, this place is awesome. Yeah, when you got there, you're like, I don't know what the deal with this place is. I had so much fun. Like, literally have seven diseases. Because it's not that busy there. So you just roll into a bar for brunch and like you have the whole bar to yourself with your friend. They also have these...

Everyone's doing a bachelorette party. You know those... I was gonna... Those, like, sidecars that you move by, like, um... By moving your feet? No. Like, you...

side cars trolleys they're called something oh like when you bike with like six people on it and yes so i was joking i'm like this is midwest peloton but like all the bars they stop at and the bachelorette parties come in that they jump back on the trolley and this party came in of all these girls and the bride recognized me 10 a.m 11 a.m at i was like eating brunch at this bar and

And I was like, she's like, can you come on the trolley? And I was like, look, I'm a people pleaser, but I can't do that. I can't do that. I'm not biking. I can't. And she's like, how long are you here? I'm like, I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I have a show at 10 p.m. tonight. Can you come? And she's like, I need to see you. And I'm like, you are going to be so blackout in like three hours. I said, I'm going to put your name down, though, to comp your ticket. Stop.

I swear to God, this bitch came through with her whole party at 10 p.m. Oh my God. Hammered. Hammered. We had a little moment in the beginning. I was like, okay, now you have to sit down because this isn't a back and forth. Yeah. So anyway, point of the story is though I met this girl who got her lips done. And then over time, it just kind of pushed above her lip. Sorry, I just started laughing at Midwest Peloton. Okay.

But basically, she didn't get her lip dissolved and just kind of got pushed above her lip. And it just contorts her smile. Yeah, exactly. So just watch out. Just be safe. With great power comes great responsibility. I also wanted to talk about Scarlett Johansson and Disney. What's going on? Wait, did you not know? No. I've been in like a bubble. I've been in a weird bubble the past couple of days. I'm like any front page news, anything, you're like, what?

the world you're lucky i like open my eyes i don't know what's going on okay so scarlett johansson is suing disney which is a big move because disney is in charge of all the marvel stuff and she's like starring in the marvel movies what happened is she signed a contract of what she wanted to she signed a contract pre-covid or something oh right to play who is she playing

Like, I don't know. I don't follow that Marvel shit. But she's one of the stars. Oh, she signed a contract for Marvel, not like a Disney Princess movie. Not a Disney Princess movie. Got it. No, but like Disney owns Marvel. Got it. Okay. So the movie comes out and they also launch it on Disney Plus. Okay. And Disney has a new president or something, someone in charge, whose goal is to get more Disney Plus subscriptions. Okay. So her contract was based off of theater sales. Okay.

Okay. So she basically is like this contractually, like contractually, you guys said you were just going to release it through theaters. And that's what my like bonus was supposed to be on. But because of the crazy COVID times, they released it with Disney Plus. And she was just like, you have to pay me what I deserve. Okay. Valid. So Disney comes back hot. Okay. Disney tries to accuse her of not caring about COVID. And then further fucking more.

throws out her salary and says this woman made 20 million for this film and she's basically like complaining that she wants more so i'm upset okay i'm seething about this because tons of men make millions of dollars in movies but they're trying to be like oh she's being greedy like playing the whole like call her daddy thing like these girls are being greedy it's like actually they weren't being greedy because that bitch got 60 million that she deserved anyway so um

Basically, apparently this is happening a lot where these stars are doing these movies, but then because of streaming, it's like fucking up their contracts and they're trying to get like undercut. So she's in a huge legal battle now with Disney because she's basically like, you have to do what the contract said or you have to change the contract for giving me bonuses based on Disney Plus and stuff like that. So that's the current situation. Okay, I just looked up because I want to know.

And if I can't find it in time, I want to know the top male actors and like the most they've ever made for one movie. And Marvel movies are known to like make a ton of money. Wow. Sandra Bullock made 70 million dollars in the movie Gravity.

Okay, here's a perfect example. Robert Downey Jr., who plays Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man, in The Avengers, made $75 million. Yeah, so shut up, Disney. Yeah, it sounds a lot to the average person, but in your fucking world, you're ripping her off because she's going to make a huge bonus based on theater sales.

Wow, do you want to... Keanu Reeves, for The Matrix, made $250 million. He made $83.3 million per movie. That is absolutely insane. Will Smith in Men in Black 3 made $100 million. Wow, and that's one movie. Okay, pay Scarlett, please. Um...

Yeah, pay Scarlett. But also, I think they've been doing it to other actors, too. So basically, it's just showing there's a change. If you guys want to start doing streaming, you have to change how you pay the actors. Right. Go for Sandra Bullock. Get that money, bitch. Yeah, honey. Get that money, honey. How could I possibly? And that is our manifestation for the week. Get that money, honey. I love that. I'm going to go celebrate my birthday by being sick and watching stupid stuff on Netflix and

Paige, anything we're promoting this week? You have Amazon? I have Amazon Live until the rest of the summer. So until September. I'm actually about to go do it right now. My days are typically going to be Wednesdays. Amazing. So much fun. Gigglers, make sure you show the fuck up. Also, I just had Heidi D'Amelio on Burning in Hell, which is crazy. How was that?

It was wild. She was so nice. Very normal. Just like Connecticut mom. I was just going to say, wait, that's Charlie and Dixie's mom. Wow. Don't know how I got her on the list. So listen to that. We'll talk about it next time. Wait, I'm very excited for that. Yeah. And then HannahBurn.com for stand-up comedy. I'm going to be in East Hampton on the 19th. The hard thing is it's a Thursday. I know. It's a Thursday. Wait, we still need to talk about our Nashville trip. Oh, my God. I'm so excited for our Nashville trip. I even talked. Sierra wants to come, too.

Oh my God. Don't fuck with me. Yeah, no, the girls are going to be in Nashville. The girls are getting back together. The band's back together. In Nashville. I might even sing a country song. I don't know. Oh my God. I'm excited for you. You turn into Dolly Parton. Oh my God. Dolly Parton if she was Italian.

Also, guys, rate, subscribe, review, leave a review. Even if it's mean, we don't care. It helps our engagement. It helps our podcast a lot. We love you all so much. And thanks for Googling with us. Bye. Bye.