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I mean, the day just got away from me. What is up, my gorgeous gigglers slash, you're all basically my bridesmaids at this point. No, literally. People were like, she didn't have a wedding party. She had a wedding party of five million women. Okay, let's start with who I have a bone to pick with. It rhymes with Sierra Miller. Yeah.
She couldn't make it to defend herself today. However, we didn't invite her. She's been uninvited. I'm a former friend of the pod. I will just say that Kendall Jenner walked so that Sierra could run sprint. She's a runner. She's a track star.
But here's the thing. Like, it's so hard to ever be mad at Ciara. Like, I was steaming her dress for her and I was giggling because I was like, oh my God, I can't wait to see her wear this at a wedding.
wedding. Sierra does not have a mean bone in her body, but it was just so funny because Paige and I were having all these inside jokes where Paige was literally sending me thong dresses being like, what if I wore this? What if I wore this? Like one of your dresses only covered one side of your body. Like one full nipple was out and I was laughing. I want everyone to look really hot at the wedding. So I'm just kidding. It actually was perfect.
It was perfect. It was so her. Also, I do have to say, Sierra brought it on the dance floor. Yeah, she did. And my friend Maurice truly killed it at the dance floor. Even during our first dance, it was Alicia Keys and Sierra was like, yeah! I wasn't paying attention to dance because I was cheering with you guys. Your wedding was not like a wedding. It was...
The ultimate. It was a cult. No, it literally was a cult because it was like the ultimate hype party. Like I, I don't know. I've just never felt the way I felt at your wedding ever at a wedding before. Like usually like you sit there and you listen to the speeches and you clap and you're like, that was so lovely. I laughed out loud. I feel like you giving your speech does giving his speech iconic. Yeah.
Like I was like literally mental note. I'm giving a speech at my own wedding. That is the main character energy that must be had. He was like, so when do you want to give our speeches? And I was like, our speeches? I thought I just had to like repeat what the...
like officiant says and he's like no you have to give a speech and then i started getting nervous because des killed let's just say des killed murdered and he's high energy they call him the electric shamrock for a reason he's like getting a lot of laughs for a minute and then i'm looking at my phone he makes fun of me he's like hannah's checking her phone because she's getting ready for her speech i'm like i can't bomb after that i can't bomb after that that was so perfect
So perfect. And then your mom and your dad's speech were so sentimental, but still also funny. Like your mom was very funny. My agent texts me and goes, do I need to give your mom an hour? No, it was serious.
If my mom gets a Netflix special before me, her and Ciara will be on my shit list. Like, I can't. It was so good. Then his brother gave a very lovely speech. And then his cousin. Yeah, she gave a lovely speech. And she's like eloquent and smart. She was. Yes, she was like class. Wow.
Wow. Welcome to the wedding episode. I feel like I've been planning it with you guys forever. And at first Des and I are like, let's keep it kind of private. And I was like, no, I have a lot of bridesmaids. No. So Paige, I know that Paige is very intuitive and she doesn't do it very often. But every now and then she'll take her long ass pointy finger and say something to me that will shake you to the core. And while we were getting ready, she looked at me and she goes...
you're getting pregnant on your wedding night i just felt it i just and i didn't it was one of those moments when i have those moments i actually you know like when you think something in your head and then there's like that one second and then you say it when i have those moments i don't it just comes out um and like as it's coming out i'm like i didn't even think yeah it was definitely out of context we were not talking we're talking about vodka or something and you were like you're getting pregnant on your wedding night and i go okay way to ruin the show and
I laughed. We laughed at the time we laughed, but deep down I was like, that bitch is right. So we go to the after party. We're having fun. And people always say we don't have sex on our wedding night. Like, no one has sex on their wedding night. Which I think is so odd. I think it's because you're so tired and drunk and if you get home late. But, like, TMI. Look at me pretending I'm, like, an innocent virgin. When have you... Yeah, well...
god she's married for 48 hours vulva warning um des pulled me off the bar at 2 a.m because i would have been there the whole night with yeah on the bar being stupid and he was like we gotta go we gotta go and we get home and we consummate the marriage and i wake up and tmi i have my period and i'm not supposed to have my period and i was like that's weird i go check my birth control i'm like am i supposed to have my period
No, it's Friday and you haven't taken your pill since Monday. So your body is confused. Confused. And then I go to my flow app, which I rarely use. And it says it has a little circle like this is your prime time ovulation moment. Hannah. I thought of you and I said this mother fucking bitch. I did one thing to her nails and now she's trying to make me a child bride mother. Yeah.
So I look at Des and I'm just straight up because you have to have these conversations. I said, do you want a baby right now? He's like, we just got married five hours ago. He was cute. He waited a second. He's like, we don't want to, you don't want a baby right now. You want to travel a little. And I'm like, honestly, I'm tired. But I'm like, and you're exhausted. Look at you. Yeah.
But I made a decision based on as a woman who can do whatever she wants with her body. Absolutely. And I said, we're going to CVS, big dog.
Okay, I haven't gotten plan B since college. YOLO. Also, we still, the wedding's not over. We have to go to our like next day brunch, which I'll talk about. Wait, as you're texting me like what the situation is, like in my head, I'm like, what are we going to do? What are we going to do? And then I was like, wait, I'm probably not involved in the decision of like, are we going to have it? Like, or are we going to take care of it?
Craig was like, you probably don't have to be stressed out about this. I was like, but I am. Like, am I ready to be an aunt? You know, you text me and you go, I'm not mentally prepared for aunt responsibilities yet. So we're going to have to postpone. No, you're never really ready. Yeah. I was like, but am I ever really going to be ready to be the cool aunt? Like, you know, maybe I should just take this in stride.
I also last second was like, Paige, do you want to do a speech? And you were like, Hannah, I needed weeks to prepare for this moment. I couldn't just get up there and wing it. Although like I did have something prepared. No, I know. Also because everyone that gave a speech crushed. Yeah. And like you would have crushed to you would have crushed. Yeah, but I've been nervous, but you would have crushed. But but they had practiced. It was I couldn't. So.
So we go to CVS. No, I go to CVS. He went to get coffee. Not supportive. Do you understand getting plan B is basically I was like, where's the plan B? It's on the shelves.
It's on the shelves in a glass container. Yeah. So you basically have to tell someone like, Hey, can you open this plan B? And they're like, you want me to open the plan B for you? And I'm like, yes, can you open the plan B? And they're like, it's this whole fucking process. They have to get, they have to ask everyone for the key. And you're just like, does no one have the key on that? I was, and then I guess cause people steal it all the time. It's $50. It's very uncomfortable. It's expensive. It's uncomfortable. Um,
But I remember in high school, mom, don't listen. In high school, you couldn't get it. You had to go to the actual pharmacy and you had to be 17.
Oh, that's fucked up. Which is so interesting that like now they're just like it's next to like the Cheez-Its. Yeah. Yeah, it really is next. It's next to the like lube. Yeah, they're like here. They call it family planning. It should be called family unplanning. Wait, I always think that's so funny in like CVSs with like, I'm like, I'm buying tampons. I'm not in the family planning aisle. Like get the fuck out of here. But I remember when I was younger being so awkward about like,
tampons and all that shit and now i'm like throw in the supers um so i got it and then i'm walking out of cvs and a car starts honking and i'm like is this like a giggler or like a summerhouse fan or fucking page six like seeing me outside of cvs holding this and it's becca and she's like what are you doing in there and i was like oh my god and she took a picture of me with my
Plan B. Which has gone viral, I feel like. That picture is all over every group chat. I actually am going to make that our group chat photo. The social media posting during your wedding is very interesting because part of us wanted to be classy and be like, you know, let's have this moment just for us. But then I was sitting there with my plan B and I said, we have to create content out of this moment. It was the most perfect ending to your wedding weekend. I couldn't think of something more...
Just like genuine and real and just like such a... I'm just like such a later bull bride. Lovely moment. Yeah. Well, I didn't do anal. Aww. Which between me and you and everyone listening...
I am scared and not ready because my butthole is just a sensitive little flower. I don't think I'll ever be ready. It's just because I don't... You have to like not eat Mexican for like five days. Yeah, and that's like... I'm about to eat Mexican in 20 minutes. That's impossible for you. Some things are for us and some things aren't. And anal just happens to be one of those things that isn't for us. Yeah, and like not that it can't be pleasurable, but...
I don't know. You have to keep something over his head, you know? Yeah. Forever. Me trying to play hard to get after my wedding. We also, we had a rehearsal dinner the night before, which was really nice and fun. A lot of Italian food.
And it was good for some family that hadn't met from like overseas to meet then instead of like at the wedding. Because the wedding, you know, we're blacking out. We're not doing small talk. No, I drank whiskey sours the entire wedding and I've never had a whiskey sour in my life.
Wait, what made you get a... Who told you to get a whiskey sour? So someone had a drink on the bar and I said, oh my God, that looks so good. And someone... I have still... I have no idea who these people were involved in this conversation. And someone goes, oh, I think it's a whiskey sour. And the guy goes, no, it's actually a spicy margarita. And so then like I lost all brain control and I just ordered a whiskey sour because it was the first thing I heard. Looked nothing like the drink I was originally looking at. And so then I just started drinking them and...
I'm in the mindset of like, if you're drinking one type of liquor, you can't just automatically switch. So I was like whiskey sours for the rest of the night. Let me tell you, I think I drink whiskey sours now. What is the taste? How would you describe it? Not a clue. Not an actual clue.
I feel like I've had it before and I think I really like it, but you kind of forget and then you also feel weird ordering it, but I kind of love it because it's not your aesthetic. It's not my vibe or my aesthetic, but I had so much fun. I loved every second of it. We have no organization to this episode clearly because the memories are hitting us at random times. Yeah.
For the gigglers. We said we were going to do it and we did it. It came time for the bouquet toss. I put on Who's Our Girl by Eve. We almost forgot. Am I having a brain aneurysm? We almost forgot to do the bouquet toss. We almost forgot. Basically, when you're getting married, the night moves so fast because you're needed for everything and you feel like it's just very performative all the time until the after party and then you really...
can like relax yeah yeah they were like and it's bouquet time and then the song came on
And I was like searching for you in the sea of people. Sierra with her long ass arms are flailing. And I'm like, not today, Sierra. Literally sweet, sweet, lovely Raquel was standing next to me. And I go, you better watch the fuck out. And she was so taken aback. I was like, I mean, I'm not kidding. So I kind of want to take in Raquel and turn her into a New York bitch. I would love that.
Because she comes up to me and she's the sweetest honeycomb of a human. Literally the nicest person I think I've ever talked to. The nicest human. And it was making me uncomfortable. No, I was uncomfy. I was like, are you really this nice? She came over and gave me my, you know, like the little cards that you had where everyone's table was.
I like had mine and then I lost it during cocktail hour wait also we have to talk about cocktail hour and then like as I sat down at my table because I remembered what number table she brought it over to me and she was like I didn't want you to forget these because they're so pretty she brought me Craig and eyes and I looked at her and I was like that was so nice but I'm blacked out I'm absolutely going to forget this at the table you're like I'm about to lose this in two minutes thank you I
I know I'm remembering. I was kind of drunk, but I was joking with her. I was like, welcome to New York. Like next time you fight with Lala, we're going to give you some hands. Okay. You got to use the hands when you fight. You got to get your nails a little longer. Okay. We're going to give you a little bit of an attitude. And she was just like laughing hysterically. Your cocktail hour was. I missed it. I wasn't there. I know. What?
Tell me, what was it? It was amazing. I think that like the key to a good wedding is one, the music and two, the cocktail hour. If you don't get sufficiently drunk at the cocktail hour, the rest of the wedding is almost like you're like, okay, when are we getting a drink? Like whatever. Yeah.
Your cocktail hour was superb. The food was amazing. I really only had the cheese and crackers because I was like downing whiskey sours. The vibe was so good. It was laid out perfectly. I know the vibe was good because I was walking by the side of it. We like had to take some photos and I saw Brock talking to a random like older friend from the golf club in West Hampton and I was like what could
they possibly be talking about and that made me so happy but I think everyone's already bonded over like two people we know are happy so like the random conversations Craig was talking to everyone everyone
I literally every time I looked for Craig I think he like found the oldest people at the wedding and was having like full combos with them I was like you don't know them he was like they're really nice people speaking of older people my Nana tried to bring three men home and
And I think she did. Nana was a trip. My papa was supportive. Nana was a trip. Nana was a trip. She was flirting with Nima. Nima was flirting with her. Yeah. Let's call it what it is. Nima was flirting with Nana. Besides Nana, do we ship Raquel and Nima? I think they're perfect. Aesthetically...
so pleasing to look at they were at the table across from us and i was like what a good looking table that table is but also i think i'm just going into bravo drama but i think i want raquel to have some time to like be free of men to decenter men from her life yeah we loved that was the theme of my wedding as entering men from your life
Everyone's DMing me and was like, was Des there? And I was like, not about him. Okay, let me fucking explain. I was like, it's not about him. So I got a bunch of photos and you have like all the photos getting ready. Then you have the photos from the ceremony, the photos from the party and the photos from like the after party. And I only got a couple. And I really liked the getting ready photo. So in my head, I go on posting the getting ready photos first. Also, Des fell asleep at 8 p.m. as he does. And I was 10 o'clock twiddling my thumbs.
And I said, I don't want to post a photo that we haven't, you know, approved together. Yeah. He wakes me up in the morning. He goes, you don't fucking post a photo of me. And I go, I don't want to do so. I don't want to post on social media. It's how you have your cake and eat it too. She got married and she still didn't grid post him. Some girl on TikTok was like, wait, you're married? You always gave me like single funny dating vibes. And I go, yeah, it's my brand and I'm sticking to it. Yeah.
No, it was honestly the best wedding. I don't remember what we had for dinner, but I know that it was chic and they came over and asked us like, what do you want? And I was like, whatever. I don't care. I think another whiskey sour. What was the aesthetic of it? How would you describe it? And was it what you envisioned? Okay. Do you remember the aesthetic? Yeah, it was like disco ball style.
Hamptons like Hamptons vibe beach. Garden. It was so much better because that's a lot of things. And it was so much better in person than what I was picturing in my head. I was like, how are we going to have tall ferns and disco balls? How is that going to look good together? And it was perfect. Also, I don't think that you're getting complimented enough on the tablescapes.
I didn't really post the tablescapes, but I think I will. I'll post tonight more about the tablescapes. They looked really good. And also, you were a very chill bride.
an exceptionally chill bride you were like yeah come over i also i told the like wedding planner amanda savory and her team are so spectacular i highly recommend you use her if you're in new york she'll obviously travel other places she was the one who heard i was gonna have a garage wedding and dm me and she's like i'm a giggler and i see your vision i understand you she elevated it and we were like yes thank you because no one else sees the vision
you're the only one that's messaged me that thank you there was so much room for error because i gave them so much i was very loose with it like they could have fucked it all up i basically told them i wanted disco tulum garden dolphin um hampton's theme wedding but minimalist like are you okay but did they not nail it nailed it nailed it nailed it she was like oh 100 i got it um
The after party, we went to John Scott's Beach Bar and like only small percentage of people were there. But we ended up on the bar. Haley was jaw rule came on and me and Haley lost our damn minds. The rest of the bar got pretty uncomfortable. Haley broke out into song every 15 minutes when we were getting ready.
You know, everyone needs that one friend that is a living musical. And if you're in a good mood, it's great. She's literally a living musical. Like she is.
Craig described her and it was so perfectly spot on. He was like, I don't know what you remind me of, but it's like a Disney princess. But he was like, but I mean that in like a very. Yeah. He was like, because you're so bubbly, but like you're singing sometimes and like you are so nice. And like, it's just like she's a Disney princess who accidentally ate a weed brownie and just go with it. Oh, my God. You just nailed it.
Like she didn't ask for it, but it happened and she's flowing. Like she took an edible. She thought it was a gummy bear. And now she's just like in a fairy tale on her own, like in a field. Also, I like talking about my friends on Giggly Squad because then they get harassed by their friends who listen to Giggly Squad being like Hannah and Paige talked about you for 10 minutes calling you a high Disney princess. So figure that out. The ceremony went so fast for me. We did it on the beach and I decided to wear my shoes off.
I'll post them, guys. Etsy, Jimmy Choo knockoffs, like, pearls. They were so comfortable. Your dress was stunning. It fit you like an absolute glove. Oh, yeah. I surprised you. And I didn't even notice when you did your dress change until, like,
15 minutes after you did it. Because you were drunk. Right. Yeah. No, I had to bother you. I was like, I did my change of dress. You were like, hello, I changed my dress. So one thing about wedding dresses no one talks about is that wedding dresses are uncomfortable. I don't know if mine wasn't expensive enough. Like maybe expensive ones are comfortable, but I haven't heard anyone ever say it's comfortable. Yeah. You can't sit.
You can't dance. You're sucking in. The whole day I'm trying to not get bloated, but I realized everything could possibly bloat me. So that was like my own...
my own personal problems. I don't want to put it on the gigglers. Yeah, you don't need to burden us with your bloat. So when I was able to take off my dress, I got this fuck, I don't know what it was, but it was a sleeveless, so comfortable form-fitting dress with Amazon sheer gloves. And I walked out and I'm like, where's Paige? Couldn't find you. Finally find you. And I tried to do like a
Yeah. And you're like, what? And I'm like, look at me. And you're like, what? And I'm like,
I'm like, my outfit, bitch. And you're like, oh my God, it's so you. No, I didn't say that. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No, you liked it. You liked it. But it wasn't enough of a change that people noticed. But I also think I was just running around like a bumblebee. No one could tell. I literally felt like I was at an eighth grade dance. You know, like at an eighth grade dance by the end of the dance when like everyone's so comfortable with each other that like you're just flailing around. Like that's how I felt. Yeah.
on the dance floor. Like it was just so much fun. I want to know. Yeah. Did you learn anything from the wedding of things you do or don't want to do for your future princess wedding? I realized that I want to have like I want my cocktail hour to be a fun party. Like I don't want it to be as stuck up as I envisioned in my head.
Well, I think aesthetically it could be stuck up. But you guys, it doesn't matter where you are. It's who you're with. Yeah. In comedy, sometimes they call it alpha laughers where the crowd will be great if you put in like one or two or three really big laughers because it kind of teaches everyone around them that like you could let go. You can laugh. Yeah. I highly recommend you if you don't have friends like this right now, you start making a couple
A couple alpha partiers. Yeah. I'm lucky that I have a few of them in my life where one of them, his name is Maurice. Yeah. He popped his pussy so hard on the dance floor that fucking like uncles started popping their pussy. Whose uncle was that? He was like an older gentleman. And I'm trying to be as respectful as I can. But he was on the older side of an older gentleman on the dance floor the entire time.
I think maybe it was with his daughter or like a younger woman, but it wasn't like a romantic younger woman. Like it was with like maybe like a niece or something. I don't know who it was, but he was my vibe for the whole night. Zaddy. Well, you have to have a token Zaddy on the dance floor. I had to ask Papa who it was. Yeah.
But I do think like when you're thinking of people to invite for the wedding, let's say you have two people you're equally close to and they're on the fringe. Pick the person that's a better that's better for the party because get coffee and drinks and get a dinner with the other person to celebrate. Right. This is about good energy. It was also such a good amount of people. You had 150 and I think that was perfect. Yeah.
yeah like it was still big but I never felt like I couldn't see everyone yeah which was important to me I was actually quite the people-pleasing bride I think you know some weddings the bride is like a celebrity where like if they even look at you they kind of look through you because they're so overwhelmed by all the attention yeah I was literally like are you okay yeah you were like are you like how was dinner I was like I don't know you're like who are you can someone tell us to go leave my table
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Um, some advice for gigglers. We chose our ceremony to be pretty fast and to not do any like quotes. You know that mambo jambo people do in ceremonies where like, you know, it's romantic, but you space out because the words don't really mean anything. Like when they're like, love is. Oh, yes. Love is patient. Love is kind. Yes. And you want to have a moment, but I'm telling you, like we were going to have someone read some like funny quotes or something or someone talk about the longevity of love and
Also, the guy who officiated your wedding, your family friend. Yeah. Also very funny. So, Bernie killed. He killed? So, he actually saved my life when I was young. How? Well, his son...
would argue that his son saved my we were in the ocean at the ocean and i you know when you get like kind of taken by a wave and i started getting like pulled out undertow yeah yeah and i just i was like five and i just didn't say anything and i was just like we were going to russia and you're like i'm just gonna drown hen is hen is drowning i wasn't drowning but like i was so far out like
It was it wasn't great. And he's like six five. So Bernie literally like ran in and saved me from the undertow. Oh, my God. Circle moment having him on the ocean. It was nice having a family friend because when he was saying stuff like I know he meant it. It wasn't like a rant. And, you know, sometimes the priests or whoever like make it about them and you're like, yeah, OK, calm down, Steve. I know this is the one time people are listening to you talk. Right. Like call your children sometimes. OK. Like this is about me.
he did an amazing job his laughs per minute we joke were great doesn't that go back we call it the green room is the bridal suite that crowd was hot like that crowd was fucking hot and then we felt pressure on our speeches to kill basically it was a comedy show okay also this is like so embarrassing to admit i have been to a lot of weddings like in my lifetime
Some people that I know really well, sometimes I'm a plus one. I always do like a casual, like my eyes will get like filled up a little and I'm like, this is actually really sweet. And I cried like an actual baby. Like I cried to the point. I know. I was so embarrassed. Craig was like, are you okay? And I was like, and I couldn't talk like I could or else I was like crying more. And I was like, you don't get it. My best friend.
And he was like, no, I cry like a stupid, stupid person at your wedding. He was like, no, actually stop. Like you're kind of loud. And I couldn't have all those little flashbacks of all like the stupid conversation about like, yeah, I hate this. What do I do? Yes. And to sort of see like now it's just different marriage. But yeah, but it was also just like.
It's such a moment of like a new chapter in your life. And it's wild to like,
like go through that with someone when you've like gone through like the whole old chapter with them and like so to watch them like go into a new moment in their lifetime and you're like a bystander like it's a crazy it's a crazy feeling you're so right and also I'm such a cynic like even the day of I was like so I'm spending all this money for fucking five hours and then it's over and it's just like a party like is this worth it yeah but as you're in it it really is about like this
community of people around you that love you guys so much that love you and they're always gonna have this memory like whenever they see you they're gonna be like oh the wedding was so fun and it's like letting everyone it's it's kind of like you're arriving as like an official couple yeah also um a lot of people got married this weekend shall we discuss courtney and trav
Kourtney and Trav, they did it cool. I mean, but it was like this. Okay, so they got married once in Vegas that didn't count. And then this was just like a courthouse. A courthouse. Do you think they're going to have another huge ceremony? I don't know. The thing I find extremely interesting about... Because have you been watching Kardashians on Hulu? No. No.
I just find... But I'm interested. I want to know the tea. I think that they, like, obviously are very much in love and, like, a very meant-to-be couple. The thing I just find so...
but I feel like now I can sense that like every Kardashian has kind of done it. Like when Kim started dating and marrying Kanye, she became like, she changed her whole wardrobe. Like she was very, a lot more like into fashion, into things that like people weren't really wearing. Like she set the trends. Kourtney is legitimately like a punk rocker. And I'm just like, I've never seen this energy from you. And I just think it's like very interesting. Yeah. She gave like,
granola mom energy yes she gave crunchy granola before she gave veganism and now she's giving like red flowers and like black leather jackets do you think she eats differently with him no because i think he's a vegan too oh that's fun so that's nice
There's a vegan dating app. You can't date a non-vegan when you're vegan. I feel like... Because then they, like, judge you. But then, like, okay, now I'm, like, relating it back to the other royal wedding that happened this weekend. Like, you and Des are so...
similar like you make sense like when you're when you watch you two as a couple like it very much makes sense like you're both very funny but you both play off of each other where like I feel like she has now changed like her whole aesthetic I don't know it's also so hard because they're so famous that it it becomes like is this it's just a PR play like she's still herself but like the whole fashion thing is a PR play for them to get attention and
Yeah, it's just, like, interesting. I'm like, you've never worn, like, all black and, like, had red roses everywhere and, like, worn, like, a cross chain. Well, for example, it's, like, Pam and Tommy Lee. Like, Pam didn't turn into a rock star. She was Pam. He was Tommy Lee. Right. And it was, like, fun. But, yeah, I'm interested to see if she'll be, like, 60 years old and still wearing...
like I didn't really realize like he's tatted all over like his head he makes Pete Davidson look like a newborn baby like it's just very very interesting who was the other couple that got married that you're talking about Stassi and Bo oh yes Stassi and Bo they had their wedding looked very pretty so their wedding was definitely like a very different vibe than ours where
Everyone got to go on vacation to Rome for a week. She had like a fun little bachelorette like a couple days before and she
I mean, she looks stunning. She looked gorgeous. And then she gets to run around with Bo and Hartford. Yep. In Rome. So it was kind of like a honeymoon bachelorette all in one. Yeah. I just know that they had to postpone their wedding and have a lot of changes. So it was nice to see all these people who had to postpone their wedding. I think her wedding dress was spectacular. It was spectacular. Oh, yeah. You made a really funny comment. What did I say? You called her like an Italian? Yeah. It's giving Italian princesses.
Italian princess. Her wedding aesthetic is very similar to what I want.
Like she did like the whole castle vibe that I'm looking for. Katie's dress was phenomenal. And she gave like... Katie's dress was gorgeous. A little close to white. It was gold. But I feel like she was the maid of honor. Sierra wore a bathing suit to yours. A thong bathing suit she did. She had... It was floss. She wore floss to my wedding, you guys. I was joking about the Katie thing because the only thing...
The only like real rule in any wedding is like the bride wears white. Yeah. So in my rehearsal dinner, Des's 13 year old cousin showed up with a white shirt and I took him to the side and I say, hey motherfucker, you want to play Fortnite again? Don't show up at my fucking rehearsal dinner with a white shirt trying to make this about you. No fucking Netflix for a week. I'll take your iPad, you little bitch. He's like, I'm seven and my mom put me in this. He was like, mom, can you go pick me up? And then I was like, love you.
And you may call me Aunt Hannah. Wait, are you an aunt? I'm an aunt to two really, really cute nephews that Des has. They're so cute. How old are they? I believe like 10 and 13. Are they going to call you Aunt Hannah or are they going to call you Hannah? He was really cute. He was calling me aunt before we got married.
god that's adorable well we didn't meet them for a while during covid and finally we meet them and connor goes in the back and he goes i was beginning to think you didn't exist and i was like oh my god i love you i'm obsessed with you i want to put you in my little pocket and they found out that i played pokemon growing up and they lost their minds because in their head like des is in his 40s he's always their older uncle and he's like you're too young to be with des and i go when you're older you'll get it
that's amazing also the irish accents did you love chef's kiss i loved there were a couple single irish guys there there were there i was looking during the wedding ceremony and i was like this is like a very good looking family that does that desmond has like all the guys on his side like i don't know some of them i think were like his high school friends and then others were um
his like queen's friends what song did you walk into down the aisle was instrumental of the bgs um how deep is your love yeah that was good that was really good thank you and then i don't even remember it was supposed to be the classic song after getting married wedding march was like we did that and then no what song did you walk into the reception into nelly no not nelly um hello cool j doing it
Because the line is, she was raised out of Queens. She came from Brooklyn. I forget the exact line, but it's about Brooklyn and Queens. The music when like the guests were taking their seats on the beach was straight up rap music. And it was amazing. That was my playlist. That was my playlist. Like Justin Bieber, Yummy came on. Oh my God. Yes. Yes.
Okay, we got this. This DJ was amazing. DJ Krista. And I gave her like all these playlists and I didn't run them by Des. And I was like, this is the fucking party. And at one point, Des was like, she would do some more traditional songs. So like older people enjoy it. I go older people pop their pussy too. Okay. Yeah. Like no Frank Sinatra song.
Yeah, during dinner, there was like a Frank Sinatra song. Like for my dad and papa. Everyone was dancing. Des and I occasionally would go in the bridal suite to relax together. But then a song would start playing and I'd be like, be right back. And I'd run out and like shake my ass and then come back. It was amazing. Thank you. Okay, here's another thing. Usually, I am all about looking at the groom when the bride is walking down the aisle. Des...
escaped my mind. I didn't even, I didn't even glance up there. Like, I like forgot that he was there. And I just watched you walk down the entire time. So I couldn't even tell if he had cried when he first saw you, but he cried at the very end when it was like, you're married. He started crying. Yeah. And I was like, his eyes were watering, but he kept whispering. He goes, are you cold? Cause it was cold. And then I was kind of like adrenaline shivering. Yeah. But in my head I was like, look good for the fucking photo. I do have to say my walk down was quite stressful because I,
I was like in the sand. Yeah. And then my dad kept literally stepping on my dress. And I was like, like, dad, you have one job. And then I'm supposed to give the bouquet to my mom. That's all I was focusing on. So I didn't even like say goodbye to my parents. I just was like, here's the bouquet. Yeah. And then my hair was flipped over. Like, I look like Donald Trump.
And you guys actually looked over to you and you were like, fix your hair. And I fixed my hair. Thank God. If my hair looked weird the whole ceremony, I would have made us redo it. That's why you have fake bridesmaids. That's what fake bridesmaids are for. And that's what they do. They tell you things from the audience. I thought the ceremony would be so easy. Like I was in the green room, I call it. And I'm like, I do an hour of stand up. I'm not nervous for a 10 minute ceremony.
Once I got up there, the adrenaline hit me so fast. Like I was like, oh, this is a moment. Yeah, it was great. Like life's intense moments. Like you feel the weight of it. And yeah, it was fun. I thought marriage was like anti-feminist, but like I'll say recommend it. It was fun. And we'll probably. Four stars. Yeah. Hopefully I don't do it too many times again. Right. We'll see. We are doing a yearly Salami Squad trip, though.
Like non-negotiable squad minus Taylor Strucker was out to play. I know. And Becca already locked us down for 2024 Arkansas in April because there is a lunar eclipse and she wants us there for it. And my squad takes Arkansas. So you guys watch out. Little Rock is lit and they're so funny. I also the gigglers are cracking me up because I posted my first photos on
There was drama that I was shadow banned. Yeah. Who knows? I could be. It's like I've it's Mercury's in retrograde. So we've accepted. We just like we don't care.
We're living our lives. We don't care. If I'm shadow banned, I was meant to be shadow banned. Report us. We don't care. Like, yeah. Delete my fucking Instagram. Honestly, do me a favor and just delete it. But there were some trolls who were like, how could you not post your husband in your first photo? And then the gigglers were like, um, she's hiding him from his second family. Duh. How do you not know this? She's protecting him from his second family. His family's in Ireland. He has four kids and a dog. We've talked about this. Oh,
Someone asked me, I was like, don't forget the pet. There's a pet. Oh my God. Well, also who got married? Jojo Fletcher. Jojo Fletcher from The Bachelor. You haven't followed that. I'm not a Bachelor girl. I guess when people from The Bachelor actually get married, there's always something like fun about it. Did she marry someone from The Bachelor? Yeah, the guy. She was The Bachelorette. Is his name Jordan Rodgers? He's Aaron Rodgers' brother.
Wow. Have you heard of this couple at all? Not at all. Not one time. She's so cute. She's doing really well at like hosting and shit like that. And he's... It's literally like the only show I've just never been able to get into. I don't know why. I got into it because my roommates in college were into it and we watched it like a sport. But to be honest, it's so many hours of the week that I had to like...
Yeah, they're on like three nights a week, I feel like. Yeah, and it's two, it's like two hour episodes. So like, honestly, I stopped doing my job. I was like, it affected my relationship. And everyone has the same name. I'm like, I can't keep Ashley S and Ashley T like apart. Like, I don't know. Lauren A and Lauren C, you can't. Did you like the burrata appetizer? Do you remember? So amazing. Yes, I do remember the burrata. Okay, because I have a bone to pick.
No, not another bone. So our table was basically salami squad and Marcella. So the appetizers come and me and Sierra are like jacked up for the burrata. We're talking about it. Everything is a cheese conversation right now. Marcella goes, I don't really like burrata. And we all just like stopped and looked and even Haley was like, excuse me. Did you see him in court? Yeah.
Literally, it wasn't even a see you in court thing. It was immediate jail time. You're done. Yeah. Like, what is your sentence? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did he explain why? Like, did he have a traumatic experience where he like almost drowned in cheese in his past? Because like that's... We didn't even ask a follow up question because we were so taken aback. Because then he said the next sentence that he said was so...
I don't even know if I can speak to him again. I'm so sorry this happened. I was like at my best friend's wedding. I would have been really upset. Thank you for hiding this from me. This man turned to the table and said, I'm not really a cheese person in general.
Oh, so he's ill. He's emotionally ill. I said you're out of the salami squad. Immediate dismissal. Start writing your apology to the academy because this is just... I don't even know what burrata tastes like even. It's just the act of like cutting it open is so sexual. It's the texture. It's the whole thing. It's just...
I was like, oh my God. And then I never spoke to him again. You're like, and I never will. And you blocked him. And he's no, wow. And I didn't see him for the rest of the wedding. Don't ruin the mood. Like you can't even trust him anymore. I literally can't trust that kid. I was like, I thought I knew you. And I just, I don't. I don't know anything. Some fun tea from the wedding.
Because everyone's kind of existing and you obviously don't want to tell the bride like the stupid details. Yeah. But I like wanted drama. Like I wanted things happening. I wanted people whispering. Yeah.
um early on an irish guy got a blow job from one of my friends as he should like after the cocktail party they like went on the beach and did it came back and it spread so quick it's like it spread like absolutely no it literally did it was like she swallowed we all knew
We felt it. Yeah. We were like, someone's having sex. Someone's having sex right now. What was so funny, I was talking about it with Des in the car and he was like, did that girl realize she immediately made that man a legend? And I'm like, one girl who's having like, she's a little bored. Like she was having a bored day and he's a legend now. I'm pretty sure she spotted him too.
at the cocktail hour like she clocked him and i was like i can't wait to see what happens on the dance floor and then i never saw them she's not in the salami squad yeah um she might be in the future yeah i just don't want people i think she might get the little rock invite based on that performance pepperoni yeah
oh my god wait salami squad is a cult now we keep doing that you want a full salami we keep starting cults it's so accidental but like not really i mean if you have so many cults it's like is it even a cult right is it because if it's one cult like bad things can happen but if it's multiple cults it's like
Just fun. Also for the gigglers, Hannah did a shout out to dope documentaries in her wedding speech. I forget the context, but you did say dope documentaries. Or maybe it was your mom. I think it might have been my mom. I think it was your mom now that I think about it. In a haze of whiskey sours, I do remember that. So are you going to continue drinking whiskey sours? I think so. There's also another drink that's like kind of sweet. It's like a whiskey and something, but...
Have you ever drank whiskey? I don't think so. It's a brown liqueur. I know. I know. I'm just well, here's the thing. I can't drink tequila anymore. I can't even smell it. So like and like vodka like is just doesn't really do it for me. And I was going to get a spicy margarita. But then when I heard whiskey sour, I was like, I'll just like see what that's about.
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And now a final shout out. My Sunday, you had to leave to go to Charleston, but sorry, not Sunday, the Saturday. What is fun about having a Friday wedding is you literally have a party the whole weekend because the next day a giggler reached out to me. It's called at the treatery, L.I., like Long Island treatery. And she basically had during the pandemic, she quit whatever job she had.
And with the money she had, she bought a truck. And it's not like a gross truck. It's like a cool vintage truck, like light blue. And she started making food. I thought it was pink. It might have been pink. Yeah. It might have been pink. Yeah. Details are not my forte. Admin is not something that you do. Why don't you just enjoy the fucking story? Yes. Okay. So...
She basically was like, Hannah, I want to do... I have this truck and I'm like, well, we have plenty of food at the wedding. I go, what about the next day?
After my plan B, after I snorted my plan B, we get there. That dress was so cute too. Paige, she made Bloody Mary's spiked coffee with whipped cream, like Kahlua, some other thing. I couldn't look at the alcohol, so I couldn't tell you all of it. And then she had grilled cheese, lobster rolls, pulled pork grilled cheese. And then she had this thing. She
she's gonna kill me i forgot what it's called but it's a donut that's hot with cold ice cream inside cookies it was incredible and then we ate all of that and then des's cousins from queens came over to our house and continued to drink and party until around 9 p.m did you get my curling iron from the house that we got ready at that is adamant that
I left my curling iron. My mom definitely has it. Oh my God, I'm sad. I just realized I'm not the bride anymore, so I can't be a cunt. It's over. Because I'd love to be like, how dare you ask the bride to do you a favor, but no. Hailey's getting married now, so I'm going to be Hailey's bitch. Hailey's doing her bachelorette in Charleston, and we're going. Wait, can you come? You're going to be there regardless. I'm going. I don't care. It's in July, and I'm going.
There's no way I'm fucking missing Hayley's bachelorette. Hayley's bachelorette in Charleston. She has 18 people. I said, I will not be staying at the home. That's insane. Hayley has so many friends. It's exhausting. I'm like, I don't even know 18 people. She's like, I know. And I had to cut it down. I was like, what was it before?
She's like, well, it was 25 and then a few girls can't come. And I was like, you're an insane person. No, she that's what happens when you're so nice. She is so nice. So nice.
Oh God. I was like, be a bitch for a minute. She's like, no, I can't. I hope her and Raquel met. It might've been too much sunshine though. It might've been blinded people. Too many rainbows, too many sunshine. We need to make sure they never meet. Two positives make a negative. Let's keep them away from each other. We can't. Brock and Sheena. Brock was one of the MVPs. Like,
Like Sheena's down for everything and always fun. But like Brock was on the dance floor. And one time he was like manhandling me, spinning me. He's like, let me lead. Let me lead. They were, they're such a cute couple. They're such a good looking couple too. Also, I'm pretty sure MJ fell on the beach when we were all taking our seats. Oh my God, she did.
mj fell and was in the back and at one point she was like yelling during the ceremony but like hype girl like so funny and i go does anyone know who that woman is like i was literally making side comments at my ceremony but the crowd was hot no the crowd was heckling too the crowd was like involved fully got heckled on my own fucking stomach also i got i was getting roasted into speeches like at one point marcella looked at me was like oh
your mom roasted you at one point and it was like remember when you were single during quarantine you were talking to some guys who were and she was like we were all really worried and we didn't say anything so we're just like so happy our prayers worked and it was amazing my mom mentioned our beautiful psychic in the speech yep i don't know if people know the full story but
Our psychic messaged me because I was like, hey, I'm talking to these guys and it's feeling bad. It's feeling toxic. It's feeling super weird. And she was like, you're soulmates walking towards you. And I was like, sweetheart, I know you're psychic, but I'm on an island. How the fuck are they getting to me with my parents? How are they walking towards me? And I'm also about to film a reality show that no one's allowed because it's COVID. We're stuck there. And I'm not going to be in a good mood. Yeah. Yeah.
And she was like, he's walking towards you. And then Des DMed me and I was like, isn't that crazy? I do think subconsciously, like, I really, like, believed it. Yeah, the universe works in insane ways and, like...
What's meant to be will just be because there was in no right way that you and Des like should have met. Like we were in the middle of quarantine. He lives in Ireland. Yeah. Like there was there's just no plausible way. And like what's supposed to happen will happen. But for all those girls who are listening who are single right now. One we're decentering men from our lives. Right. Two it takes one person. Yeah.
And it's okay. I'm going to use a surfing reference, which is okay. Interesting. This is a ski pod. But when you surf, but we're always evolving and growing and learning. Yeah. When you surf, it's really hard. But when you actually catch a wave like the right wave, you just flow. Oh,
So if you're and I'm not trying to tell everyone to break up with their boyfriends because we've done that before. If you're fucking fighting something right now and it just feels wrong, just know it just takes one moment. Like if you're sitting there looking at your timeline and being like, oh, I have to meet someone. No, no, no. It's going to happen. And in one day, your life's going to change. But it takes you being fully like.
with life in general. People go like, you have to live yourself. It's more like you have to be happy with life because if you're depressed and you're too anxious to like function, which like I've been in those places, you're not capable of enjoying anything with anyone. Immediately making merch of you riding a wave. Like,
Oh my god, our summer series. Our summer series. This is now, we're switching seasons. This is now a surf podcast. Why do I feel like we have to pitch Salami Squad as a show now? Like all the girls together are so funny. No, like we should have a television show where we just go to different people's bachelorette parties. And that's just what it is.
You can hire Salami Squad to be your bachelorette party and we will have the best time. That is so dangerous. People were sending me this video of two types of bachelorette parties and it was like all these like girly girls having fun and then everyone dressing up as Guy Fieri. And they were like, how are both of these together? The Salami Squad. And I was like, it's true. One of my favorite memories of the getting ready day was all the girls were so cute. I was getting my makeup done.
And they all were around this table with their little sets of makeup in front of them and mirrors. And they're going through their makeup routines. Paige is like pulling out like she's like doing the geisha on her face. She's spraying shit. She's bringing out things I've never seen before. Whatever the fuck it is. She was doing feng shui on her face. And then Becca is sitting there with just a brush pretending she's doing something to her face.
Sierra were like telling her the next step to do. And at one point you looked at her and you were like, Becca, do you even have anything more to do to your face? Or are you just sitting there? Cause all the girls keep putting on more makeup. She was like putting like sparkles, glitter. I was like, I need a YouTube. We need a YouTube segment where we just give Becca makeup products and we see what she does with them.
Oh my gosh. Well, you guys, this was the wedding episode. The recap was chaotic, but you knew it would be. I'm so happy for one being so supportive of me finding love. Ew, I hate that. But supportive of my wedding in general, of the planning and the process. And next episode, we'll start planning pages.
Please stop it. Sorry. Sorry. No pressure. No pressure. But you did catch the bouquet. So everyone's kind of like so. Yeah. True. That's so true. Anyway, guys, catch us on YouTube. Catch us on Instagram if you could find our profiles. Actually, it's fun for us. It's like a scavenger hunt. Can you find Hannah and Paige on Instagram? I don't know. Who knows? Follow us on Giggly Squad. And we love you all so much. Thanks for giggling with us today. Giggle with you later. Bye.