Giggling about having babies, business ventures, and psychedelics
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Welcome, friends, to the Playful Scratch from the California Lottery. We've got a special guest today, the Scratcher's Scratch Master himself, Juan. Juan, you've mastered 713 playful ways to scratch. Impressive. How'd you do it? Well, I began with a coin, then tried a guitar pick. I even used a cactus once. I can scratch with anything. Even this mic right here.

See? See? Well, there you have it. Scratchers are fun no matter how you scratch. Scratchers from the California Lottery. A little play can make your day. Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim. Sometimes just drinking water is kind of boring. Hannah hates plain water. You literally can't give it to her, even in the dead of the summer. So with Liquid IV, it makes drinking water refreshing like summer popsicle flavors. They have firecracker, rainbow sherbet that really just hit home.

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i mean the day just got away from me what is uh my grass is always greener on the other side gigglers it's it's grass isn't always greener oh you literally just told all the break up with your boyfriend you're like the grass is actually well manicured and perfectly watered on the other side everyone's been lying to you the grass is greener quit your job tell

Cut out all your friends. Move to Europe. Do you know that? I recently found out that Craig has been saying on his podcast that he's moving to Australia. Because, like, obviously we don't listen to pillows and beer. But, like, someone was GMing me and they were like, Craig keeps saying that, like, he's moving to Australia. I was like, let him go. I just envisioned you surfing. I was like, don't worry. Oh, wait, he actually told Desk.

Then he was moving to Australia. Des said he was talking to him about Australia because Des has been to Australia. Wait, what? Does he have another family in Australia? I think so. Because the other day he said something like, oh, we could like move to Australia for two months. And I was like, people don't just move to Australia for two months. I like I have a job. So you're like, I don't speak Australian. Yeah. No.

No. Outback steakhouse. I told you Australian men are feral. Australian women, gorgeous, perfect angels. Australian men. You said something about them, about roos, about kangaroos. If you don't have a roo, don't talk to me. Australian's the only accent that I really can't. I can't do it. I can't do it. It does, does it well. I'd have to be surrounded by a bunch of Australians for like at least a day. I was going to say a year. Yeah.

no no shrimp on the barbie so you know i could be convinced to go to australia for two months it just takes two months to get there yeah it's just like what are we doing for two months and like what two months craig you tell me what two months you want to go like we like we're literally booked until next summer do they even have like pillows in australia

Yeah, I'm just, I can't, I don't know. So I'm like, why don't you go? Sewing Down Under. Sewing Down Under is actually very cute for them to have a pop-up. Anyway, so Craig has another girlfriend and they probably have a dog together in Australia. They have an Australian shepherd. They have a shepherd, yeah. Sewing Down South sounds like a porno with fashion. Yeah, it sounds like Craig's like,

measuring girls for underwear naughty quick life update obviously I'm a mother of butter but now I'm a now an auntie yep I'm an aunt are you going to be called what are you gonna be called my favorite aunt

Yeah, aunt. Aunt. Yeah, not aunt. Some people say aunt. I say aunt. Aunt Hannah. I say aunt. So my brother's wife had a baby. I hate when they say we had a baby. My brother didn't do shit. Did Daniel say we had a baby? No. No, my brother texted me and he's like, I need like three more weeks. But Jeannie's so funny. His wife...

was a nurse so apparently she went in there and she was like give me some gloves and she literally was like doing it herself she took the baby out of her own vagina I realized this is the first time in my life that someone very very close to me I've been like part of the baby process of like being the baby making the baby birthing the birth thank you the birthing process I was like I'm part of the pussy popping process Paige I am so dumb first of all I thought being in labor meant like pushing yeah

Like you were like when people were like, I'm in labor for 15 hours. Yeah. They were pushing for 15 hours. Yeah. And then they're like, no, it's just contract contractions, contraception. I think it's from when your water breaks. Yes. When the baby is out is how long you've been in labor. I did something really dumb and I'm saying it out loud not to embarrass myself, but because low key when I say stupid shit, tons of gigglers DM me and they go, I thought that too. And that's when I'm like, our future is bleak because you're relatable. I thought when you're dilated.

That it meant your vagina was dilated. What does it mean? So when you go like, oh, like I'm two inches dilated, two centimeters. I don't know why they do centimeters. Two centimeters dilated. It's your cervix. It's not your vagina. I thought you're just sitting there like my vagina is gaping. It's ready. Drop it out. Yeah, like I just thought I thought I thought that it meant the hole was getting bigger. It's like the hole that connects to the uterus. Inside. Inside.

I'm already speaking too much. Like, I already overstepped. Which means, okay, which means that you could literally shove anything up your vagina right now and it would go in. Like, no matter the size. Yeah, that's why when guys are like, oh, I couldn't. It didn't fit. Someone called me out the other day on Instagram for also being dumb. And they were like, you sound so stupid when you say... And I was like, can't wait for this one. Sorry.

Could be so many things. Nothing gets me riled up than that being the first sentence. You sound so stupid when you say you get a UTI from your tampons. That's not even where you pee out of. And I was like, I know that that's, I didn't respond, but I was like, I know that that's not where I pee out of, but how come then whenever I use tampons,

whenever I have sex, I can get a UTI. But also when I put a tampon in, I can get a UTI and that's going in the same hole. You're correct on that one because when you have sex, it's not through your pee hole. Right. Why is the friction in that hole giving me a UTI, which is a different hole that I pee out of? Regardless, I once had a friend who didn't know you peed out of a different hole. So you're winning. Yeah.

And I didn't know that until a couple of years ago, too. Honestly, nobody tells you. Nobody tells you and nobody tells you about your vagina in school because they don't want you experiencing it. Yeah. They don't want vaginas to come of power. Right. And nothing said more vagina power than us doing three shows this weekend and absolutely crushing. First show, I have to call you out. You did blackout.

I certainly did. But you know, you're blackout if you have to. You were like saying, hey, I'm not blackout. And I was like, yeah, I was. So you're blackout. Yeah. I was like, I'm not even drunk. I will say I was not as blacked out as I was in Philly. No one will ever be as blacked out as you are in Philly.

Where you fell asleep in the bathroom. Yeah. But I think the first show you get like a little nervous. And you deal with it instead of maybe expressing yourself. I drink. You drink. But you're really funny when you're drunk. Also, Paige is, we talk, Paige is naturally a shy person. We had a meet and greet with probably 80 people. And she went on to ask every single person about their life story.

while I sat there and was like who is she and why is she deciding to do this now here's the good thing if you're drinking with me you're gonna have a fun time I am a fun happy drunk yes the alternative is like I'm a mean rude I'll beat you up drunk and nobody wants that and I will sit down and solve problems did your did Kim enjoy it most importantly because your mom was in the audience and we were raunchy we did not hold back for Kim

We did not hold back. We were very raunchy. My whole family was there. And do you want to know what my mom said? Because I brought it up. I said, sorry if we got a little dirty. And my mom looked at me and she said, Paige, you were performing. Don't ever apologize to me for being you and performing. And you're a great performer. And I was like,

Oh my god. She called me on Monday and she goes... Or no, on Sunday when she got back to Albany. And she could reflect. And she goes, I'm exhausted. Like, how did we do three shows? I'm like, first of all, mom, you sat for three shows. But...

She was like, it's just, it's all hitting me. I'm just, I'm so tired and I'm so proud of you guys. And it really was a great weekend. Also, New York City obviously is our home and we've done a bunch of live shows to lead up to make sure that it was tight and perfect and hilarious. And the New York girlies were everything. Great crowd. And we're so excited to continue the tour and we will be announcing more dates. As we said, put it in the podcast comments in the review section and say where you want us to go next or just tell us

Anything you want And we're going to Vegas this weekend Yeah I'm scared I'm

low-key kind of scared. I'm gonna work on getting us dinner reservations for Friday and Saturday night, but I booked our hair and makeup. Sorry, we're doing admin right now. Welcome to our meeting. We've both never been to Vegas. I actually went once for like a trade show when I was selling t-shirts back in the day, and I just remember it was so bright I couldn't open my eyes. But you didn't go to Vegas as like a...

I'm going to Vegas. Like, did you go out? We went to a club for like a second with like coworkers and it was super awkward and weird.

nothing more awkward than being out with your co-workers literally the worst experience like how am I supposed to shake my ass when I'm with Brad from PR it's also just like when I get drunk I'll say anything and I don't need someone having like the one crazy thing I say to pop up like Wednesday in the morning meeting I do have to say I did get drunk at the last show I was drunk I wasn't

Drunky drunk? Yeah. I was tips. I did have espresso martinis. I knew you were drunk because after you told everyone you were going to go out and then you disappeared. You Irish exited from our own show. Sierra was there. Yep. And we didn't throw her on stage because I think we traumatized her the last time. We forget Sierra is actually kind of shy too.

Sierra is very shy. It was just a great all around great weekend. Great outfit. Great outfit. Fun. Great. The only thing was that when I was sitting down, I like put my ankle in a weird position and everyone was taking photos of it and ask you if my ankle was OK because I like folded my foot over sitting and not looking weird when you sit is an art form.

Also, we were in TED Talk chairs. We weren't in Barbara Walter chairs. We were having real discussions for real people. I think our live shows really do feel like when we did our dance party.

On Zoom Yes Yes That's exactly what it feels like Sans Like me breaking up With my boyfriend And throwing up Yes This is for OG gamers But you never know You never know You never know What'll happen at these shows You literally don't Also Can you Not to like jump into Front page news But like Yeah but let's The Ray J stuff Is like blowing up right now

I just feel like every so often Ray J gets like a shimmering glimpse of confidence and he just wants to come out and tell his true story. So basically, Ray J is like, look, the sex tapes were filmed. They were filmed like three times. Kris Jenner watched them to see like which one they're putting out.

I feel like we are at a point with the Kardashians that like, yeah, nothing that they like, nothing that they do is a mistake. Yeah. So it wasn't like all of the sudden the sex tape came out and Kris Jenner became like a mastermind of PR and business. Like,

Yeah, I'm sure she did see the sex tape. And I'm sure she did say that's good enough to be out in the public. Look, if you're a stage mom, you're a stage mom. And you don't stop when it comes to a sex tape. Right. And also, you have to remember, like, that was a time. Like, if someone put a sex tape out now, it would just be like, sick. Put it on your OnlyFans. That was in a time where if you had a sex tape that leaked...

you got so famous because people just couldn't imagine. But the thing is, Kim Kardashian wasn't that famous. And was Ray J that famous? Like, how would she have known that it would pop off the way it did? It could have just been super embarrassing. It could have been super. I mean, they definitely took a gamble, but Ray J was definitely famous. I mean, he was obviously like way more famous than Kim Kardashian. But you but it was also the same exact time that Paris was

Hilton sex tape came out, which she argues like that ruined her. Wow. But look how much publicity that Paris got from her sex tape. Yeah. Was just, I mean, out of like out of this world. We joke the whole you're doing amazing, sweetie. When Kim was doing her Playboy shoot and Chris was supporting her, which you know what? My mom would do the same. But the sex tape is a little much. Let's we have to we have to say that.

You like your mom watching you get Dicked out No I'm all This is an OnlyFans podcast Yes Like we are all for like OnlyFans And you like putting out On the internet these sexual things That you're comfortable putting out

I just feel so differently thinking like my someone in my family could potentially see this. Like that's a whole different level of like feeling a certain kind of shame. Yeah. Because it's like you just don't want your mom to hear what your orgasm sound is like. But if you think about their whole entire life is monetized, like, yeah, they've decided as a family, they want every single thing they do to be filmed.

Like everything they do is content. So it's like maybe she really sees they see each other as like products and they've disconnected from the like. And I mean, did you even see Kourtney Kardashian who tried to fight the cult and be like, I don't want to work. I don't I don't need to make all this more money. I'm already doing well. I just want to be a mother. She just came out with Lemmy.

I think it's a cute name. So cute. But like, it's so wild that they are, they tap into industries that don't really have a cool brand conglomerate. Yeah. Like there's no, yeah. Like each brand. So low Bosworth, low Bosworth from the Hills launched love wellness. And it was the first kind of like cool type of brand like that. But like, that's low Bosworth.

Also, their packaging is a little bit similar to Lowe's. It's giving low Bosworth. It's giving low Bosworth because it's very pastel. It's very like... I actually... I've taken some of low Bosworth. I think it's doing really well and she just doesn't like speak on it. But I think she's financially doing great. Very interesting because it's like what was Kourtney going to come out with other than something that was like...

Health conscious They're just so Into like Okay yeah What's next What's next What's next What's next But let's say this If you were given The opportunity To have one meeting With Kris Jenner And she could plan out Your whole life Would you do it Oh obviously I would do it Yeah I would absolutely do it If I was like Give me like Four business recommendations I'm doing it I'm doing all of them But

It's also, like, I don't think it's just Kris Jenner. I think these girls are, like, I think all of them are very driven and smart. Bethany's coming out, though. You saw Bethany going rogue on TikTok? She was basically speaking in code so her video wouldn't be taken down, but she's, like, everyone else's videos are taken down talking about the stuff about you-know-who. I do fuck with Bethany, like, hard. I've always...

I've always loved... It's so funny how you can watch someone on TV and you can watch their ups and downs of like... People loved Bethany when she was first on Housewives. Then there was a phase where people fucking hated Bethany. And then she got out of reality TV.

And just like lived her life. And now she's back on like doing social media. And people love her. And it's just such a weird thing to watch. I've always loved her. Like I always thought she was great TV. I thought she was the funniest housewife. I think she's like so smart and such a hustler. So I've always really enjoyed her. But...

It is funny the things that she, like, says about the Kardashians. Like, yeah, the Kardashians have obviously influenced how we see ourselves, for sure, in terms of, like, beauty standards. Mm-hmm.

But also you can't knock the Kardashians for how fucking business smart they are. Well, that's the thing I was going to say. I feel like Bethany is more alike than different to the Kardashians. You know how sometimes people will criticize you because they see parts of themselves in you? Yeah. Not to have a mental health moment, but like Bethany is basically like, all they do is they want more and more and more. What is that teaching our children? And it's like,

Bethany probably has a side of herself that is similar to that. I love Bethany and I look up to a lot of the things that she's done. I just think that there's a lot of similarities with her and the Kardashians. But I don't fuck with the Kardashians and how they're not open about like the extreme work they've had done. I mean extreme. Like I think once you move from like plastic surgery to like plastic surgery on your body...

It's kind of wild. And I'm not talking about like, oh, you just had a baby and you want a little like mommy makeover, like a little liposuction maybe or something. I mean, they've they got fake butts. It's a little bit. Kim took a rib out, you know, like, is that for real? I don't know. But it's like it's giving Armie Hammer. You watch the Armie Hammer documentary. Hannah. Yeah.

I didn't just watch the Army Hammer documentary. I fucking sat in front of my TV enthralled. Enthralled. Like you didn't check your phone? No. Like I watched all three parts, like one sitting. Okay, I have to watch it tonight. My biggest takeaway is I don't want to say this and be like quoted on this,

because there's a second part to it. I'm not saying that I feel bad for Armie Hammer. No. I don't. No. But Armie Hammer, the guy didn't even have a chance. The guy did not even have a chance to potentially be a normal ass dude because he was dealing with generational... Like, it's the perfect example of...

generational trauma and i feel like i've heard that term so many times in therapy where it's like you have generational trauma from like this this and i never really like understood it and i was like okay well what my mom could have possibly been upset about how the fuck does that transfer to me and this is such a good example of it okay but don't be giving guys a way to get out of stuff being like sorry it's my generational trauma no like i'm

facts and like he should have been in therapy from like right out of the womb. Was it interesting that he went into acting? Like did he have actors in his family before? He had no actors in his family, but it was almost like it was the only thing his family didn't really have. Like they had all the money and they had a little bit of the notoriety, but there was no one that was like famous, famous. Hmm.

And I mean, Armie Hammer is honestly the best of the worst in terms of the men in his family, which is crazy. And I genuinely think it's a blessing that Armie Hammer became a famous actor because if he was not, he would have been, I think, a serial rapist and like murderer. Yeah. Yeah.

Because what women like wanted to have sex with him because they thought like, oh, this is Armie Hammer. Like he's not going to be crazy. He's not going to do these things. Gorgeous. And he's also so hot and so successful. And it's like, okay, well, he's famous. He's not going to get away with like doing these things. And I think, I think that if he wasn't famous and he wasn't,

who he is, he would have like literally been arrested for rape and murder. Like no doubt. Like, I mean, the man's a sociopath, like for sure. How like none of the men in his family have gone to jail is traumatizing. But they were crazy powerful, right? Crazy, crazy powerful. His great grandfather is who he's named after, Armand Hammer, was one of the most powerful men ever.

Literally ever. What's the quote he said about being president? They said like, why wouldn't you just run for president? He said there's no power in being the president. Like he controlled all of the elections anyway. Did Army have a sister? No. Was his wife in the documentary at all?

So they actually don't go much into like his, honestly, no. Like, yes, it is a lot about army, obviously, but the most interesting parts were about his family and they don't say much about his wife and they don't bring up his children. Really. They say that he has children, but they don't bring it up. Um,

But they don't bring up like if his wife knew about the family or like what she think like nothing really about the wife. It was really more about how Armie's dad's a fucking psycho. His dad was a fucking psycho. And then his dad was the biggest psycho. And the women are exposing them.

Every single woman in his family has been traumatized and just beaten down and disregarded. Like they're very much a family that like if you were born a girl or you're a wife, no one really gives a fuck about you. Holy shit. Yeah, it was by far the craziest documentary. But they're like beyond loaded with money, right? Yes. Like Armie's dad inherited $40 million when the grandfather died.

Speaking of, we have to tell everyone about Trust Fund Sean. Trust Fund? Sean. It was triggering. So in the Giggly Squad shows, we have a very special segment where we like to see if guys are good enough for our gigglers. And we pick guys from the audience and ask them questions to see if they're trash. And for some reason, the gigglers have the greatest taste in men. And they bring up like war heroes and nurses and, you know, just the sweetest guy who bought her tickets for her birthday a year in advance. But finally...

finally we got it we got one and we nailed his name was Sean and he sat there with his legs out taking up a lot of space he manspread all over our stage he tried to ask us questions he tried to ask us no we go Sean have you been to Mykonos and he goes have you and we were like no and he goes trash so yeah he turned it on us

Which was a very funny moment. And I will shout out Sean for his comedic timing. We will shout out Sean. We appreciate it. We love a joke. Even if it's toward us, we appreciate a joke. But then he tried to use the joke again. And I was like, it doesn't work like that, Sean. He also, I would ask him a question. He would stare at me for three seconds before answering. And that's how I knew he was a monster. And he did go to like some rich school, some rich school.

boarding school yeah boarding schools you can tell they just like honestly boarding schools are cults boarding schools are boarding schools are legit pyramid schemes so if you meet a man named sean he's got a girlfriend and he has a trust fund don't say we didn't warn you we're just out here in these streets warning you guys

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Giggly. I don't know if you guys have noticed from my Instagram stories, but I've basically switched all my loungewear over to Skims. I was obviously obsessed with their bras and underwear, but now I really can't get enough of their soft lounge collection. I have their soft lounge tank with...

with their matching lounge fold over pant. I'm absolutely obsessed. Not only do I wear it inside, but I actually wear it to travel a lot too. I noticed in my drawer the other day that basically all my bras and underwears are skims, but also now all of my t-shirts and my loungewear is skims.

I've pretty much cleared out all my lounge sets after I moved. I just like got rid of everything. I was like, I don't need all of these random sweatpants and sweatshirts and really replaced everything with skims because I know it's always going to look good and I know it always feels amazing. And you know how much I love laying in bed. So if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan.

Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com, now available in sizes XXS to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop-down menu. Oh, also speaking of the Kardashians and true crime, what's going on with the Kim K True Crime Podcast? Okay, another great business idea. True Crime Podcasts, I think, are like,

In the highest rated genre, I think of podcasts. Like people fucking die for true crime podcasts. And she's doing like a, she's going to be basically like telling a full story of this like true crime thing with a co-host who I want to say is a lawyer also or whatever. Who's practiced more law? Kim Kardashian or Craig? Oh my God. I would say Kim probably. Yeah.

I mean Kim got someone out of jail but I feel like Craig like runs stuff like he's more like in charge but he's not doing like the nitty-gritty like Kim is you know like Kim's out in these going to jail but you could hire Craig's firm if you wanted to oh yeah he has a Craig has a firm yeah Craig's not like going to the courthouse to like get you out or like but like if I got a speeding ticket in Charleston I would call Craig also people may not know

um Paige's brother is a lawyer does he ever talk to Craig about like lawyer stuff um yeah sometimes they do they do say legal jargon back and forth but I'm convinced that they're just saying words and not actually talking one time I was out with them and they said that I could only refer to them as doctors because they're doctors of the law oh god I I told them to shut the fuck up

I got to hang out with you guys at the U.S. Open. We went on a double date. That was our first double date. That was our first full double date because we're busy. We're running around. Paige, you were so into the tennis. Like, you asked me... Like, it takes a lot for you to be actually interested in something. You were...

rampantly ask me questions you're like how the ball boys get there why is her shoe like that why is the umpire saying that how did they get to this court and i was like so happy that you cared legitimate questions legitimate questions you actually said it a few at a few times you were like great question great question like i had to think so happy you asked but our favorite was the umpire oh

If I could come back and have any job, it would be the U.S. Open umpire. So basically their job is to control the court and everyone will be like crazy screaming, yelling, and they'll just go, thank you. And that means they want everyone to shut the fuck up. Is that not the most proper way to control a crowd of drinking people?

He just would say, thank you. And if people didn't settle down immediately, he would say, settle down. Players are ready. And I am bringing that into my real life. Anytime someone's just yelling or being rowdy, I'm just going to say, thank you. Next season of Summer House.

Thank you. Settle down. Players are ready. Instead of trying to make sense of what someone is like screaming, crying, yelling about, just say, thank you. And they could perceive that how they might, but it's polite. It's quick and it's safe. Yeah.

And it's classy as shit. We didn't love the tennis outfits. Shout out to Nike, Adidas. If you want us to design a line, we will. But I feel like they could do more. Tennis is so in right now. People finally think tennis players are chic. Let's get sick designs. I just think that the tennis world is really not capitalizing on the fashion world. How sick would it be if...

Nike hired like did a collab with like a sick fashion house. And that's what all of their players that they sponsored wore. Like Carolina Herrera times Adidas. Oh, just for the US Open people. Oh, hello.

The problem is, though, is a lot of these players really, really care about tennis and they don't have the time to like do fittings and like they really just want to focus on their game. So they could just send in your measurements. We'll take care of the rest. True. Do you know, like really famous people have like a body double to go to their fittings for them?

Shut the fuck up. That's a genius idea. I just learned that. And they even look like them. So when someone sends a photo, you kind of see what you'd look like in it.

I knew that like famous people had body doubles when they tried to like, okay, you leave first. So the paparazzi follows you. But that's in that's genius. I mean, I've always thought that like being a stunt double is just like one of the craziest jobs like in movies. I'm like, but what if you died? Like some stunt doubles do like that's what you get paid for. They pay you for the risk of dying.

If there is a risk that I'm dying in anything in just in anything, I'm not doing it. Like people that are so about jumping out of planes, skydiving, get a hobby and one that like you couldn't possibly die from. No, I'm not. I have no adrenaline rush like that. I have enough adrenaline from my own anxiety thoughts every morning. I don't want to pay someone to

for me to have worse adrenaline i don't like a roller coaster i said it i don't need it i don't need it they do say though that the people that don't want to go skydiving are the people that should go skydiving pyramid scheme classic fucking pyramid i don't mean to ruin the conversation but like a famous tiktoker just died from from skydiving yeah the thing didn't open no see no

And that could be one in a billion. I'm not taking that chance. I'm not a gambling gal. Also, like, it's not like you're going to look cute in the photos after, you know? No way. No way. I don't want a man strapped to the back of me that I don't know who's like, you're going to be fine. Like, I don't think so, sir. I've heard that before. And let me tell you, a lot of lube was involved. Oh, my God.

Oh my God, I'm obsessed with you. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. What are like other things that like you would just never fucking do? Like if someone said get in this cage and to like go down in the ocean to like see sharks. No. Fuck you. Do you remember we even just had to do that like aerobics thing? Do you remember we did? Do I remember? It was trapezing. Trapeze. Trapeze.

Okay. Hannah and I's first summer. I blocked this memory. I blocked it. Is this the first time we ever filmed? Yeah. The first summer we filmed. Yeah. Hannah and I's first season on Summer House. They made us go fucking trapeze. They never showed it, did they? They never fucking aired it. We we cried. First of all, we were like, we can't do this. Please, like, don't make us do this. And they're like, you're doing it.

We did it. Executed fucking flawlessly. Danielle Peter Pan's up in the air. She was so fucking nervous. They had the nerve to never air that. No, you actually got something wrong. We had to go all the way to the top, right? Yeah. And in my head, I'm like, I'm so athletic. I can do this. I go, I'll go first. I couldn't. I remember. I couldn't do it. I was the only one that couldn't do it. Like, I got fully in my head and I like couldn't. Oh, yeah.

I couldn't catch the guy. I just was like, this isn't fun for me. I just don't like sports where my feet are not on the ground. That's not a sport.

It's just being oddly flexible and like mental over like, I mean, I was a graceful gazelle. You were. No, you weren't. And also like your fingers are so long. There was no way he wasn't going to catch you. Literally the only thing. Look, it might not be fingers. You think he got a hold of these? Oh, you were. You were also so sweaty that he couldn't grab onto you. Actually, yeah. I kept being like, it's too sweaty. And I just kept failing. And it's like on national TV.

I was good at surfing, though, but they didn't. They never showed that either. I remember like looking at the camera guy and being like, look, look at me like mom. Look what I could do. And they just kept missing it. There's so many things that like happen that you just they just never air. And you just I mean, didn't you guys go paintballing once? I didn't go. I was like, no, I want to leave when.

We went paintballing our quarantine summer. We quite possibly had the most fun ever and never saw a lick of it. But I just, I can't, that honestly unlocked a memory. I forgot we even trapezed. I'll quit everything right now and join the circus. Don't tell me. I have a friend in the circus. You do? My mom has a friend that ran away with the circus. Oh.

like said fuck you to her parents and ran literally ran away with the circus she came back speaking of body doubles i'm gonna bring it up yeah dixie damilo shaved her head and i said that during our live shows and i said get the barber out here i was just kidding there was no barber but i think dixie did prove that it is an iconic moment if you shave your head and you have a jawline like that

Well look Here's the thing I really can't do it now Because it can't look like I'm just copying Dixie D'Amelio That's like how Tink's side of hair red Like I was thinking about it But now I'm just like Copying Tink's

are Brene Brown. Will I give you the accolades that you deserve that like it would be such a moment? Yes. Would I look stunning in a shaved head? Yes. For sure. Okay, that is literally all I wanted. Can I pull off a slick back bun like nobody's business? Absolutely. The mental anguish is

See, I think long term. I think big picture. You and Craig think immediate fun. What's going to get a laugh? OK, you're not thinking about me in the awkward growing phase. Craig agrees that you should shave your head.

no but Craig will just be like let's move to Australia and I'm like I you but can't yeah but so I get it I would totally rock a shaved head it's the two years after it that I would be livid well you said something interesting which is true if you shave your head and you don't have a full face of makeup and you're wearing pajamas you do look like a toddler right

I'd look crazy. And then like, I'm trying to picture myself. And then you had the nerve to also say and bleach my eyebrows. You would look like you're having a Britney Spears break. Yeah, I would have to make I'd want to make one of those tick tocks. That's like, what's the one when it's like when I do it?

It's funny when they do it. It's a problem when I do it. When I do it, yeah. Like, that would be Britney Spears being like, it's funny when Dixie shaves her head, but, like, I can't have a moment. Wait, that is so funny. But, yeah, Dixie did look iconic. But I think she's having her, like, Miley Cyrus moment or, like, when Disney Channel stars try to say, like, treat me more seriously because she's like, I'm not just, like, the sister of a famous TikTok dancer. Like, I'm having a fashion moment.

Dixie is Serena Williams. Charlie is Venus. I think that in time, Dixie will actually become way more famous than Charlie. I think Dixie is going to be...

I think Dixie is on the road to being like a fashion icon. Gigglers, write it down because I think your psychic powers are right. And I just think she is going to be famous for so long. Like she's just started, but she's going to become iconic. It's not a coincidence that she got like as big as she did. Like, yeah, she was the sister. But like there had to be something about her that blew her up to that extent.

I think that she's like such a trendsetter. I mean, do we know Addison Rae's siblings? No. Exactly. But we know Charlie's. I mean, we know way too much about our parents. Do we think that her and Noah Beck are going to stay together? What are your psychic feelings on that? No. You know, he was like a really good soccer player and dropped out of college. He was playing like D1 soccer for Oregon or some shit. I might have made that up. I don't want to have sex with him. The only TikTok is Josh Richardson. Yeah.

He's the only one that I think is like Swaggy But also I think he's too skinny Do you know Vinny Hacker? I don't know I might if I saw him I don't really know any of them by name Wait you know the other one That they're friends with? It's like Noah Josh And what's the other one? Bryce Oh

Bryce was on a podcast and they were asking like why he's so different now. And I didn't really like know him before, but I guess he would do like douchey things on TikTok. And that's like kind of how he got famous. And he dated Alison Rae. Oh, yes, he did. He said that he went on a crazy shroom trip. And when it was over, he changed his whole life.

He was like, I just saw the way people perceived me and I hated it. And I knew that like that wasn't really who I was. And he was like, and I could only see it when I was doing like I did this shroom trip. And he was like, in the next day, I just changed everything. He donates. He was like, I'm so much. He was like, I'm so much happier and I'm just so much more myself. And he was like, I don't want to be famous for like making a douchey TikTok. Yeah.

That's so interesting. Yeah. Next live show, gigglers. We're all doing shrimp. People are using psychedelics to like break addictions. Yeah. I'm like so here for that science. And then people are just very into microdosing in general. I don't know if I could do that. I mean, I haven't because you guys know I'm a pure angel. And if a drug even touches my skin.

You literally spontaneously combust. Hannah is the funniest person to literally offer to smoke weed with. She's like immediately ninth grade and like I'm a senior in high school and I'm like just do it. And she can't. Like she physically actually can't. She doesn't know how. So many comics all they do is smoke weed in the green room and I could be totally chill like they offer it to me and I'd be like no thanks but instead like I think everyone's

looking at me saying no to the weed so I have to be like sorry I like this isn't a dare program no one actually is like if you say no to drugs no one's like a loser I'm like sorry if I smoke it I'm like I want to start crying and like I'll ruin the vibe of the green room and I sometimes like disconnect from myself and I like yeah I disassociate and that would be super awkward because I don't really know you guys that well I

I could never smoke weed and then like do something though. Like I could never smoke weed and get on and get on a stage and tell jokes. I would immediately have a panic attack. I had a guy friend who would smoke weed to play tennis and he was like really good. That's crazy.

that's crazy crazy but who knows maybe if i smoked weed i'd be able to do certain but you know what i'm trying to handle my sober brain first that's my thing yeah i was just gonna say i feel like i've been sober for a while but no have you ever what's the weirdest mental health thing you've done like have you ever done psych um hypnosis or like tapping oh

Wait, that's so weird that you just brought that up because I was Googling being hypnotized the other day and I really wanted to be hypnotized to get off of my nicotine. Oh yeah, people will message me and be like, how's Paige's dueling? And I just pretend I don't see it. Do you want to give anyone an update? It's like fairy hit or miss. No pun intended. Yeah, no pun intended. Were you off for a bit? I was off for a bit and then...

There's this, like, show. It's called Summer House. And I die every time. So I, like, needed something to, like, calm me down. So then I would, like, start smoking it again. But I did just reorder my nicotine patches. Does it calm you down? Yeah. Like, if you're in, like, a high-stress environment and then you, like, hit it, it does, like, even you out a little. But the scary part for me is, like...

I tried to go cold turkey so many times and I'm so addicted to it that I was getting physically ill. Yeah. Like when I would do it. Yeah. Like go cold turkey. Like I'd be dizzy. I'd like, it would feel like I was like extremely hung over and I can't take like a week to do that because I have shit to do. So like you have to get on the Nick. So like I have to do the nicotine patches, but with the nicotine patches, like you still want it. Yeah.

So it's like a whole mind over matter thing. And it's also like, okay, you have to know that you're going to be fucked up for like two weeks. Like your levels are changing. Like I couldn't do it in summer house because I was like, I will snap immediately and I'm already on edge. And then I got out of summer house and that's when I was like, I got to do it. But then like we had live shows this weekend. I was like, I can't be like up doing a live show, like fiending for a fucking nicotine hit. Like it's awful. It's, it's like,

It's the worst thing ever. I would love to see you hypnotized. We should videotape it. I want to do it. I want to get hypnotized to like not smoke anymore. If anyone has any advice. But I also think the gigglers, we're on this journey together. If you failed also, nicotine is bad for you. Dude, it's so hard. It's so hard. They actually say that getting off nicotine is just as bad as getting off heroin. Oh.

yeah so my mom is so insanely proud of me every moment of every day that you're not on heroin literally whenever she gets she gets upset be like at least it's not heroin that's like heroin no it's really hard and like I feel like there also is so much shame around it like my mom's like I don't want anyone to know that you've ever smoked and I'm like yeah but like

Everyone has done it. It must like your Hannah. And even you've hit my stick before. Never, never once. You used to hit my jewel. Never. No, no. Once I tried to hit your weed pen and I didn't do it right. And then you literally, you literally started crying.

Speaking of admin, I need to apologize. Right before the live show, I was panicking to get Burning in Hell up. We're on a network where Burning in Hell and Giggly Squad is both on. You click the podcast and you upload it. I must have accidentally clicked Giggly Squad, uploaded Burning in Hell, was like, yay, going about my day, getting my hair and makeup done.

My phone starts blowing up with gigglers and they're all like, Hannah, we're not mad at you. We're not mad. We know you're bad at admin. You did just put Brené and Hal on the Giggly Squad podcast. And I was like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And I fixed it. But the gigglers are so funny. They're like, we're not going to give you a slap on the wrist for this. We know that you are challenged in this department.

So I apologize for that, guys. That's all me. And I'm going to do better next time. I feel like there was one other front page news story that I was like, I got. Brad and Angelina. Oh, yes. Okay. What's happening? I feel like we were too young, really, to like... If you think about it, anyone can get over anybody because...

Jennifer Aniston had to watch her husband leave her and then marry Angelina Jolie. And people were like the best couple ever. Angelina Jolie is like the hottest woman in the world. And so like when I'm having a mental breakdown, I often think of Jennifer Aniston. Also, I kind of feel like I'm not saying anything against your best friend, but also I kind of think the same thing about Selena Gomez. Selena's been through it.

Like Selena dated Justin for so many years and then they broke up and then he got with Haley and like two months after and then he married her and now he's like obsessed with her. So if you think that you can't get over some like dusty 26 year old skateboarder who like has roommates and like doesn't even have a job.

think of Selena and Jen yeah the only hard thing about the public eye dating is like you're constantly reminded of like the person because you'll see them everywhere and you see how the public views them which is normally not how the guy actually was behind closed doors so people are like oh I love Brad Pitt or like I love this guy he's amazing oh he's so cute and you're like he was a monster to me

But if it makes anyone feel better to like think about your past, is there anyone you're not over besides your first college boyfriend? First of all, it wasn't my first college boyfriend. He was my high school boyfriend. And yes, I'm over him. But we will. He I will say now that we're getting into it. My high school boyfriend is the only boyfriend I've ever had that I still love him as a human.

All the other ones, I genuinely don't give a fuck what happens to them. I wish them well. But my high school boyfriend, I like always genuinely hope that he's doing so well. Oh, I actually have that. The other ones can literally suck my fucking dick. But I mean, to a certain degree. But anyway, back to Brad and Jen. So Brad and Jennifer Aniston get a divorce. They break up. They get a divorce.

It has not been publicly announced yet by Angelina or Brad that they are together. The way that the public gets an official sighting of them is they're on a beach with Angelina had just adopted her first child. So it's the three of them on a beach, a very candid, very paparazzi photo. So recently it's come out that Angelina Jolie is

owns the rights to that photo. So every time that photo is used, does she make money? I actually think she might make money. Or does that mean that she submitted it? Well, she told the paparazzi, this is where we're going to be. Like, take this picture. You guys put it out. I was always team Angelina over team Jen because I just...

Well, I went based off looks, honestly. And I just like was always very drawn to Angelina. But also it was kind of hot like, oh, these two were more meant to be together maybe like... Yes. But like after hearing that, ew. No. Like how icky. Like you...

You just ruined a marriage. It's the thing. And now you want to throw it in her face with a paparazzi picture of your new boyfriend with your son. Like that's someone. Giggling in bed brought to you by Mattress Firm. Sometimes sleeping next to your boyfriend or girlfriend is the most amazing experience ever. It's so lovely to watch them be so peaceful, except when they're snoring so loud. And I think to myself, how are you even sleeping because you're ruining my day?

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The most powerful designer drugs are the digital ones we use daily. And we get high off them. One touch, tap, like, scroll at a time. You know, just like tech creators want us to. Use digital without digital using you. Learn more at think.ithra.com. Husband. Whenever someone puts their relationship online in a public way, and I'm talking about if you're like...

a public figure, you're doing it for attention. Like, cause people want to see relationships. It's feeding the beast. It's like the fact that you don't post, you could post a photo with Craig every single day and get like millions of likes, millions and have people talking about it. You could, you could be doing so many, but you care about,

De-centering men from your life because you're a giggler. Absolutely. And like what you're growing that isn't dependent on him. And also you just don't want people up in your snatch about your boyfriend all the time. No, I literally I have like one picture of me and Craig on my Instagram because I don't.

That's like me welcoming comments and it has nothing to do with like how much I love him. It's I just don't want to even open the door for it. That's the thing. Like whenever you post it, it exposes people to talk about it. And some people want people to talk about their relationship because it's what keeps them relevant. That's people say, why don't you post more about it?

Your person, it's like, because my stuff is I want to make people laugh online. You won't even say his name on the pod. Literally. Did you see that? No. Because I'm protecting him. I picked that up. I'm protecting him. Him and his family. You're protecting him and his second family. Him, our family, and his other family. Yes. And that's a queen. But speaking of quality content, we took some pretty good TikToks this weekend. It's just like I feel awkward that no one has emailed us about a sitcom. Yeah.

solely based from the acting in which our TikToks proved this weekend. So you've, this TikTok makes me laugh so hard with your acting skills. Mine, honestly, average. We knew what was going to happen. Yours, I was not expecting to be so iconic. Do you guys remember in Jersey Shore when she's like, yo, there's some gorillas outside and she wakes Snooki up and she's like, the boardwalk, it's full of meatheads. And Snooki goes, you're lying. Yeah.

I'm lying. She's like, I literally felt like I embodied. You became Snooki. I became Snooki. Then she was a method actor and was like walking around with furry slippers all day. Snooki and JWoww are just, nobody will ever come above them in my eyes in like reality TV world. Do you remember them like hiding at the t-shirt shop that they worked because they didn't want to work and how the boss of the t-shirt shop was my favorite. Yeah.

JWoww, yeah, like what was his job? JWoww and Snooki created Paige and Hannah in the bed. Like JWoww and Snooki would have loved to chill with us in the bed on a different reality TV show. I mean, they slept so we could nap. Literally. Yeah.

They worked at a t-shirt shop so that we could summer in the Hamptons. But what people have to understand is like, if your show is about partying and you're working...

What else do you do? You sleep. No, I can't. We're not choosing the content that gets shown. No. Did we have, were we jogging outside? No. But were we standing up at certain points? Yes. No. Listen, no. During quarantine season, I worked out a lot. You did. You did Pilates. I like, that's how you knew I was depressed. I had diarrhea.

I was like, maybe I'll work out. Do you remember once I was like just puking air and I was like, am I okay? And you're like, oh, that happens when you get really bad anxiety. And I was like, cool. Yes, I do remember that. And you're not a puker. No, I go through the other. I actually came home from our live show on Saturday and threw up. And my brother was like, what's your problem? Why are you doing that? Yeah, my mom's like she gets herself so worked up and so anxious and so nervous. Yeah.

But I was like, but it was a great show. No, you were amazing. So anyway, we're learning. We're growing. We're evolving. We survived the weekend. Moral of the story. We're a little bit tired. We're going right back to sleep. Right back in the bed. We love you guys so much. And thank you for giggling with us. Bye.