Giggling about holiday gifts, skiing, and toxic tips
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I mean, the day just got away from me. I already said giggle giggle bells. Giggle giggle bells. Giggle giggle bells. That's a good one. This is the holiday episode. I do have to say, Christmas is like low-key very cocky. They're like, we're the happiest time of the year. All other holidays can suck my dick. No holiday gets a season.

Christmas is like the Christmas season. Christmas is the Leo of all the holidays. Oh my God. But it's also like, instead of just enjoying Christmas, Christmas spends the whole time just like talking about how great Christmas is. And it's like, honestly, it's kind of cold. What holiday would the Scorpio be? Halloween. Well, I guess Halloween. Yeah. Because it's just dark and like sometimes it's fun. Sinful. But other times it's dangerous. Yeah.

And other times you get diarrhea from too many snicker bars. Oh my god, it's our holiday episode. It's the middle of the week. We got kind of crazy. Yeah, we did. We've been traveling. I'm jet lagged, which is another word for better than all of you. Oh my god.

When people say they jet lagged, you're like, we get it. Yeah, you travel. I heard someone say like, oh, you know what it was? Remember that show, Rich Kids of Beverly Hills and my girl Dorothy? She was like, I think if you get jet lagged, you're just not well traveled. And I never forgot it. Like, I never forgot that line. People don't talk about how good that show was. I mean, Morgan Stewart came out of it. People don't talk about it. Magic Johnson's son was on it. EJ? Yeah.

I might go back and binge that. It was high quality television. Like old school reality show. Not that that was like old school, but it was like the first of its kind, kind of. It was incredible casting. You know, Dorothy's still like around. Dorothy, I think, is about to be on a Netflix reality show. Good for Dorothy. Yeah.

we love that and i love that her name's dorothy i feel like dorothy sounds like a like small town girl and she's like one of the richest yeah she could literally buy and sell our entire family anyway the holidays are a mix of emotions i'm sick of people being like jolly jolly we talked about how holidays can cause depression what's your like worst holiday memory oh my god hannah

I can go first. Yeah, go first. Okay, so my first... Well, I just dyed my hair blonde at Wisconsin. I was going through it, you know? Yep, lovely. She's confused. She's figuring herself out. She's finding herself.

You know the first time you decide you're going to be an adult and buy gifts for people? Yeah. It's like a weird transition in your life where you're like, wait, I expected to bring something to the table. Fuck. But I went into one of the Wisconsin gift stores and your girl went off. I was pretty woman. I was grabbing like... Big mistake. Huge. I'm getting sweatshirts for everyone. Every tchotchke. Like mugs, keychain, everything.

I literally got all Wisconsin gear for every single motherfucker in my family. I get all these bags. I get on the plane. I forgot all the bags on the plane. Oh my God, Hannah. Which now I realize was just ADHD, but like I literally showed up to Christmas in a cry voice, told everyone what I got them. I was like, I got you a really cute sweatshirt with a W in the front.

And I got you a baguette. Honestly, that's a great hack for if you genuinely didn't buy anyone something. You're just like, I forgot it on the train and I'm heartbroken. And like, this is what it was. And you're just like, you never actually even got that. Like one of those TikToks, like didn't know your aunt was coming to Christmas. Try this hack. Oh my God, I left it in the taxi cab. Wait, that's good. That's really good. I don't think I have a bad...

like Christmas memory except for I was in third grade. I had just gotten my appendix out the month before. So it was rough. We were frail. Couldn't eat a cookie. We were so tiny. Um,

And that year, Santa brought me a gift after all of the gifts had been opened. Santa rang the doorbell. There was a big box there. I brought the box in. I opened the top of the box.

to my surprise, a black fur coat. And I screamed with excitement, oh my God, Mom, this young, innocent eight-year-old, oh my God, Mom, I can't believe you got me a fur coat. I absolutely love it. My mom looked at me in pure and utter disgust because that said coat started moving and it was in fact a dog. Ha ha ha ha ha.

And then you went, ew. I was like, oh. Does the hair come off and get on your couch? I was like, are we keeping? And so like my parents were like, okay, she's obviously like excited for the dog. But the fact she was more excited for a fur coat. My mom was like, if there was any guesses, this is in fact my daughter. You go, but can we make it a fur coat? Yeah.

Straight up Cruella de Vil as a child. You know how they say serial killers when they were younger, like tortured animals? There's something about when you were younger that you had no reaction to a literal puppy that explains where you are today.

It also says something that 101 Dalmatians was my favorite movie and I loved Cruella de Vil. Like it did not phase me that she was taking the puppies and making them into coats. Like I didn't really even realize that part of the story. I was just like, she's amazing. Also, someone messaged me about asking about what to get gifts for your significant other for different times in your relationship. So I wanted to know, um,

you and Craig are are fairly newbies your first Christmas together what's the play for getting a gift because I feel like you know you start too hot then you have like high expectations but you start too low and you might lose your chance I don't know what are you thinking I mean I already told him that I that I adopted him a penguin yeah

Which Sheena did, apparently. We figured out that Sheena did do it. We figured out that she did. She did do it. But Sheena walked so all of us could run, let's be honest. So literally. Sheena walked so I could run with the penguin idea. And then I also just got him clothes because I don't think I need to explain why. I think that's pretty self-explanatory. But I, yeah, I was thinking about that. Like, I think...

It depends on how new you are, but I don't think you should be spending over. I don't think you should honestly be spending over like $300 if it's like a fairly new relationship, right? Yeah, I agree. Craig got me a waffle maker. I think it's more about finding something that has really gotten you guys close to show that you like are really attentive to him and that you listen to him. Even though, you know, sometimes we don't, but that you like care and that you understand him. It's

Throughout the year, I've never done this for someone, but Craig said that throughout the year, he has a list in his phone of things I say that I like. Oh my God. So that when the time comes...

So like perfect example of Christmas morning, I will be waking up to a freshly wrapped waffle maker, which I asked for. I want it. I am jazzed up about it. Do you make waffles? Never made a waffle in my damn life. It's the aesthetic. You see the infomercials and I'm just like, I could be the type of girlfriend that makes waffles. It looks like it brings happiness. It will never get touched. In the morning, we're making waffles. Yes.

That was a Shrek comment. Yeah. I don't really even like waffles that much, but like I wanted it. No one's ever ate waffles and not had fun eating waffles. You can't be sad eating waffles. So I feel like if it's even just like a small gift, but it's super fucking thoughtful. Yes.

I feel like that is way more than like, oh my God, I got you this like watch. Yeah. Like anyone could get someone a watch. Anyone with money could get someone something. But does anyone know his inner wants and desires? Yeah. I was stuck with Dez our first Christmas. I was buying stuff on Amazon that whole month, like cheap shit. And then I just decided to do like a scavenger hunt in our apartment. Yeah.

Oh, that's so cute. So like literally little post-its making jokes like go, go to the room I never go to. And it's like the laundry room. Wait, that's so cute. Or I'd be like, go to like where I cried this time. So like, that's like, you want like memories, you know? Yeah, that's cute. That is so adorable. Guys are so hard. Like,

I've never, I feel like, gotten a really good gift for a boyfriend before Craig because it's, like, I've only ever just gotten clothes. Definitely get him clothes. This kind of reminded me of Left Eye who, like, burned down the guy's house. Left Eye Lopez. Yeah. And she, like, took a Sharpie on all his sneakers, like his Jordans and stuff. I kind of envisioned you doing that, but, like, because of someone's wardrobe. Absolutely.

Absolutely. And then being like, oh, I guess I have to replace it. I've thrown things out in Craig's closet. He has no idea. I'm like, you don't need this neon t-shirt. He's like, I do. What if, what if I need it? I'm like, you don't. I feel like you've tried to do that to me before. There's one particular t-shirt that you do wear that I do not love. Oh, tell me. It's the blue and white striped one. You love it. You always wear it. The blue and white.

Oh, yeah, where I legit look like a teenage boy who's about to get bullied. My favorite outfit that you've ever worn is the red. You wore it to your live show most recently is the red set. I love that outfit. Yeah, you love that outfit, even though I've worn it multiple times. A thousand times. If it works, it works. You can't come up with magic every fucking day. It's hard. No, it's hard. But the thing is, when a dude likes sports...

If you like the Ravens, get him fucking Raven socks. Get him a Ravens calendar. Get him a fucking Ravens everything. Get him a Ravens cameo. A guy on cameo who plays. Yeah, I think cameo is a great gift. Also, I think like an experience like get tickets to a game or I also think sneakers are a great gift. I love a couple's massage because you get it.

Love a couple's massage. We love a gift that you're giving yourself to. I agree. And if you don't really like him, make sure you're benefiting from the gift as well. Have you ever gotten a gift from a guy and realized you hate him? Yeah.

That's why I think Christmas is also hard because you'll get gifts from a dude and be like, you don't understand me slash I don't want your attention. I had a boyfriend one year get me all workout clothes. And I was like, have we not spent the last nine months together? I mean, do you know me at all? Wait, that's that's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard in my life. And running sneakers. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy.

you gotta get the fuck out of my house. You're like, I'm gonna do a workout. It's gonna be a hot girl workout where I just move one limb. I was like, this is abusive. This is like non-verbally abusive. Um,

So yeah, I actually kind of have to figure out what I'm going to get Dez. We're now at the point where we've proven ourselves. So you could get kind of lazy. Yeah. He decided because we went skiing and I liked skiing that he's going to get me my own skiing boots. Because your girl's boots hurt so bad during the trip. Why doesn't anyone talk about it? Wait, can we talk about... Was this your very first time even putting skis on? Yes. Okay, walk me through it. Okay, so skiing...

Has so many fucking accessories. It's like, how are people moving down the mountain? I can't even walk. Also, like, you guys know how I am with admin. To even get on the mountain, we had to, like, go to a ski rental place. We had to get the skis. We had to get fitted for boots. I had to get gloves. I had to get a hat. I had to get goggles. Then you have to pay to even be on the mountain. Then you have to get a little ski card. And then you have to get the ski card. Don't lose the ski card. Everyone freaks out. Stop fitting the ski card. I'm like, then laminate it. Because...

You lose the ski card, you lose everything. You lose your whole life. And then there's people that have like the pocket in the jacket. They're like, well, I put my ski card in here because then it just scans. And I'm like, how would I know that?

It's a whole thing. Yeah. But then you don't, you can't just put the boots on. Okay. The boots have to feel like they're suffocating every single bone in your foot and then they make it tighter. Yeah. So that was disturbing. And then you don't just like hold your skis. There's a whole technique to like, yeah. Oh yeah. Over your,

You guys, this was so overwhelming for me. And then Des also was like so naturally good at skiing for so many years that he doesn't even think of these like little details that I'm like tripped over everything. And like the ski was like across the street and he's like, how'd that happen? And I'm like, cause I don't,

I have too many moving pieces going on, okay? And we're also walking on ice. And then you're sweating. You're profusely sweating. It's one degree outside and you're like, how am I schvitzing everywhere inside of this coat? I forgot to tell you. I have to also have like the pajamas underneath the outfit and then also be tucked in. God forbid you have to pee. There's so many layers. No, there's no peeing and skiing. And then you want to go outside, but God forbid you still have to get your boots on. That takes like 40 minutes.

The number one rule of skiing is there's no urination. There's no pee. They've just you don't drink all day because where are you peeing? You can't. So we get there and I've never skied before. I get really excited. FaceTime my mom. She answers. She goes, it's 3 a.m. What are you doing? And I go, oh, my God, I'm sorry, mom.

That's a true mom moment to be like, this bitch is being stupid, but I'm going to pick up. You're like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I forgot I was in Europe. Oh my God. Sorry. You're back in America with the basic people. I'm doing exotic European shit. You're like, I'm sorry. Are you not skiing?

So weird. Like we first start and he'll be like, okay, come on. And like, you can't even walk on the ski if there's not a hill. It's like, you can't even move. Yeah. Cause I'm also like kind of aggressive in my movements. Like I'm basically said I had no fear, but also no technique, which apparently is a bad combination. Yeah.

I would love to see you on a chairlift. I'd love to see it. I'd pay to see it. Oh, girl. If you are afraid of heights, do not go skiing. If you're afraid of falling, do not go skiing. If you're afraid of being cold, And it's also like the people that work there don't give a shit. And I'll trip on myself and they're like this fucking idiot. Yeah.

And I'm like, hello, we're a thousand feet in the air. Does this bar come down? Because one swift movement and I'm falling off this lift. Like, what's going on? Look at you guys, these lifts. Once the bar comes down too, you have to get your feet, your sticks, taking a selfie, obviously. You obviously. Every time I was like, this is the most dangerous thing I've ever done. Yeah. Anyway, long story short, it's very unsafe, but everyone acts very casual. I don't know if they're drunk or just too cold to care.

But this is the hardest part about skiing. If you're about to fall, you want to lean back, right? But to not fall, you have to lean forward. To not fall, you have to lean forward. And it's like if you want to go right, you have to pick up like the left ski. It was something that wasn't computing in my brain the one time I got an instructor. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. We actually got on a trail that was too difficult for us.

So I busted my ass and then he's like, just go down on your butt. Just go down on your butt. So I'm just going down on my butt on like a blue. And then he starts yelling, stop, stop. I can't fucking stop. Yeah, there's no stopping, sir. There's no stopping. Here we are. So then I start doing like spirals and he's still yelling stop. And I'm like, this isn't a fucking car. I can't just put on the brakes. I'm going down the whole fucking hill. You went down on a blue like your very first time skiing.

By the end of the week. So also what I wanted to tell you is this wasn't a casual ski trip when you go skiing with Des. It was a full military operation. We were up at 7.30 a.m. every single day. So you filed divorce papers. 7.30 a.m. No, but think of like my daddy issues. Like all I want to do is show him that I could be good at skiing because then I'm valuable of being loved, you know? Right. So...

So we did therapy on the top of that damn mountain. It was a journey. Oh, yeah. My best is when Des will yell and go, don't fall. Don't fall. I'm like, you think I'm trying to fall? So would you go skiing again? Would you go back?

a billion percent yeah because it is a vibe it would be fun to go with a couple like yeah so like some days when i'm not in the mood i could like give des someone to have fun with because i can't always be i'm gonna say that i think craig and i are probably the perfect people for that said vacation does craig love skiing he snowboards loves it he whips down that mountain he whips down it

It's probably the one of the only times where Craig will be like, look at my outfit. But did you see my outfit? And I'm like, yeah, it's like a ski outfit. Why do guys look so fucking rugged and hot in their ski outfits? Then I literally look like a decrepit marshmallow. No, it looks like it literally looks like I just gave birth in my ski outfit. I'm like sweating. My makeup's melting. I'm like, I'm panting. I'm like, are we going to eat? Like I it's.

Too much. You ever look at your man and the lights like hitting him right? And you're just like, I want to take a photo. Like you look so hot right now. Yeah. He never does that for me. Never. My phone is full of effortlessly hot photos of Des. Happy, sad, complex. Yeah. Every mood. Pondering. And me, it's just hungover. Okay. What about when guys, I watched Craig all winter, like seriously.

stop on his snowboard like got down and I was like I just got pregnant I think I'm no I'm having probably having a baby in nine months like what is happening guys skiing and then stopping it sounds weird but when they go it makes it shh

That was my pussy juice of shh. Yeah, literally. I'm like, did you just tell me to shh? Because I will. Also, I do have to say, Butter is really enjoying this pod. She's come and sat down next to us. She wants to hear what she missed while I was skiing. Now that you're cultured, she's like, finally, I can hang out with you.

But so the snowboarders and the skiers are two different people. The snowboarders always like have way more swag than everyone. Yeah. But they're also like the crazy ones on the mountain. Like watch out for the snowboarders. Yeah. I feel like the skiers are like Ralph Lauren ad. Yes. And.

And I feel like the snowboarders are like... Vans. Yeah. Like the snowboarders like don't give a shit. And like they'll be like, we're not doing helmets. Like we're just going. We're about to shred some gnar, bruh. Yeah. And the skiers are like, how dare you not like abide by the rules? Tell me.

I know you guys might go to Aspen later. Yeah. I do have to tell you like Des is that crazy that he'll be like, yeah, we're going to meet up with them in a week and a half. Cancel your plan. The other day I was telling my dad that I was going to Aspen and he was like, oh, well, they're having like a crisis there. There's no snow. And I was like, perfect. Amazing. Yeah.

Maybe the mountain will be closed. Wait, does Craig have those apps where he can see what the mountain looks like live? Probably. Because Des will be checking what the mountains look like on his phone. I'm like, what are you doing? Are we watching? It's excessive.

Unless there's a cute animal about to pop out of that mountain. That's the equivalent to me when I... Like, something sold out online and you can type in your email address and it alerts you when it's back in stock. Like, when I get one of those alerts, I'm like... The president could be speaking to me and I'm like, Zara just got this back in stock. Do you know how hard it is to get this size in this style right now? Like, please hold. And, like, the jargon that, like, skier and snowboarders use, I'm like...

I don't know what you just said to me. Like, no, yeah, he'll go on these rants and I'll be like, there were seven words there that I if you paid me, I couldn't put it in a sentence. It's such a culture that I've done. But anyway, now I'm a skier. I'm a jet setter. I'm a European. What about the people that like hella ski? Not like hella ski, man, like heli ski. Like does heli skis.

No. That's crazy. No, that's crazy. He goes, you see that mountain over there? They dropped me off and then I had to find my way back. It took seven hours. It was amazing. No. I have a group of friends that go back country skiing.

yeah i'm like just get lost because i don't want to know anything about it once i learned how to ski like on the basic ones like the greens i'm like why do we have to challenge ourself more like why do we have to be like this is fun let's make it torturous like skiers who are really good are like

Oh, I love that there's a place to ski. Let's ski in the fucking forest where we're not supposed to go. Yeah, let's maybe get eaten by a bear and run into a tree at the same time. That will be like adrenaline rush. And people get injured a lot while skiing because they're like doing crazy shit like that. They're like, let's go through an avalanche. Yeah, it's just, it's wild. Fight a wolf. Join a wolf pack.

The only reason I am down to continue to ski and my children will probably ski is because the Opry ski vibe. I was born for it. Born for it. This summer, Instacart presents famous summer flavors coming to your front door or pool or hotel. Your grocery delivery has arrived, sir. That was faster than room service. No violins in the lobby. Seriously?

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But also, Paige, have you seen Little Kids Ski? Because it is the single most adorable thing I've ever seen. Kids in layers. Kids in winter outfits. Kids that can't move. Get me going.

You could just tip them over and they're fine. I was just going to say that. I literally want to walk up to a group of kids getting a ski lesson and just push them all over. Because it's just one of the cutest. And they're good. Some of them are good. I actually told Des, I was like, I want a kid with you just to put them in a ski lesson. The kids were like repeating songs that the instructor was singing. It was really cute. It got us. That's what got us excited nowadays. When I did my ski lesson, I did like,

It was just me and the instructor and then like a group of kids next to me doing a lesson. And I looked at him and I was like, this is embarrassing. He was like, it's okay. They're starting from a young age. You're at a different point. I'm like, did you just talk me off a ledge with four-year-olds like that they were better than me? The four-year-old doesn't have any respect for you. The four-year-old's like yelling out tips. They're like, move your hips. I'm like, shut the fuck up. That four-year-old just get in front of you and gave you the middle finger. Wow.

So I would do these lessons without Des and there's always like French hot ski men everywhere. And I'm like, it's crazy. He's leaving me alone. Even though I looked decrepit, I looked terrible. So he definitely was like, she's fine. But at one point I like loved going fast, which is why everyone kept being like, you have no fear, but you have no technique. And I busted my ass once so bad that like both my skis were gone, lost my helmet, my

everything's gone. And this like hot French guy stops by and he's like, do you need my help? And I was like, no, I'm fine. And like literally my leg was around my neck and my arm was in the tree. And he's like, you're like, I'm just so flexible. I'm like, I'm literally amazed. I did that on purpose. You're like, I'm stretching. You need, you need help. You need help. So he starts getting all my stuff and I'm like, no, I'm literally fine. And then what people don't talk about is putting your skis back on after you fall in and

It took me 20 minutes to put it on. Single-handedly, one of the most embarrassing things ever. To put it back on, there's rules. You have to put the ski lower down the mountain on first, and I didn't. And he was like, oh, you put the wrong ski on first. This is going to take forever. Because you have to clip the front of it and then push down really hard. Yeah, it's hard. You guys, once in my lesson, I got there.

It took me 30 minutes after I fell to get my skis back together. Like the skiing is the easiest part. It's all the other shit in between when you fuck up. So anyway, we survived. But the best part was the food. Paige, you were right. The French food. They just gotta. They just gotta. Do you know what raclette is? I don't think so. It's a reel of the best cheese you've ever had.

They cut it in half. What did they do with it? Okay, you're going to orgasm. Yeah. They put a heater over it.

And let the top of it melt. And then they scrape the top of it and just put it on a plate. And as you're eating it and dipping whatever, like literally could dip a foot in it. It'll taste good. They keep bringing more cheese. Like we were like, oh, we didn't order more. And they're like, no, we bring you more. So they just keep bringing. They make cheese porn over there. I do have to say we ate so much that one night Des puked. Stop. And like, you know, like you guys drink too hard and someone pukes.

We ate too hard. It was one of those, you know when you wake up and you think you're fine, in the middle of the night your body's like, get the fuck up, we're done. They're like, eight pounds of dairy, Hannah? We're not built for this. But I have to say, this is the first time I heard Des puke. And this is going to sound so weird, but like, I was turned on. Wait! Wait!

Okay, this must be a thing because the first time Craig ever heard me puke, I walked out of the bathroom and he goes, you want to know something? I wasn't grossed out one bit. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean? I think it is like a thing.

maybe like because you really like someone yeah you're like that's like uninhibited about it and you're seeing them in a very like natural vulnerable spot but the thing with des is like his pukes were so and i hate puking it's like the i can't you hate puking to me i like yeah i can't like you like it i can't yeah like if something's going on i'm like i'll just puke i'll feel better yeah des had the most manly

fuck yes he literally would be like okay he was like like he was getting demons out of him oh my god there was something so like assertive there are there are so many like subtle things that guys do that are gross that you're like

That's so hot. And I could see that totally being one of them. Straight men are so disgusting, but for some reason we find it hot. It's like, imagine if your dude went to sneeze and he was like, you'd be like, but you want him to sneeze and be like, yeah. Like if Des was puking and he was like, I'd be like, I know exactly what the fuck you're talking about. Well,

Because I have had boyfriends before that have done things like that, like a very vulnerable, like bodily function or like something they really can't control. And I've been like, I will never sleep with you again. Like,

distinctly remember like he got stabbed and he was right about it and i was like grow up craig like spits a lot not like hoxaloogee but like he'll do these like weird throat noises like in the morning i fucking love them i'm like yeah baby do it like get it all out of you

These are things that people don't talk about enough. People don't talk about it. But I do have to talk about sneezing for a second. You know those people who yell, who yell sneeze? Yeah, my mom does that, I think. Is it necessary or they just didn't get enough attention as a child? She definitely isn't an attention seeker for sure. She has one of the loudest sneezes I've ever, to the point where my dad will look at her and be like, stop.

She's like, I can't help it. And he's like, I feel like you can't. No, I get that. I feel like I'm a very average sneezer. You actually have a pretty dainty sneeze. You're like considering what's going on?

everything about your whole life and like who you are as a human your sneeze took ballet it's very oh my god thank you it's very airy yeah there's no voice behind it I feel like you have a very cute you sneeze how people you're like yeah

Yeah, I sneeze how you would think I'd sneeze. Also, I hate people that have a bigger reaction like before the sneeze. Like they take a whole breath in like and then they say I'm like, was it necessary? Were you going to suffocate in that two seconds? But I also don't like when people's pre-sneeze is like non-existent and they just go. It's like, OK, you need to warn me before I sneeze.

Like, you know how cats sneeze? They're just like, and you're like, okay. Like, what if I was doing something that needed precise precision and you just sneeze like that? Do you know you can't sneeze and keep your eyes open at the same time? Oh, God. No, you literally can't. Like, your eyes would pop out of your head, I heard. I've never tried it because I'm too scared. But the next time you sneeze, think about it. So anyway, that was my ski trip. Yeah. What is on Front Page News? Oh, my God. Let me think.

Let me look. Wait, the number one thing is, I mean, all the reports are saying it and I can't fucking wait to see it, is that Pete Davidson is going to be at the infamous Kardashian Christmas. Okay, so they were seen in Staten Island together. They went to the movies. Like, there was a paparazzi picture of him, like, her showing him something on her phone and, like, they're both laughing. Here's how I feel about their relationship. I'm going to compare it to, like, Ben and Jen. Oh, yeah.

I'm like so out on Ben and Jen now. Spill all the tea right now. Okay, so he did a Howard Stern interview. And if you've never... Have you listened to like Howard Stern interviews before? Yeah. If you've never listened to one, they're long. Like people are in there for hours. Like he is an incredible interviewer because he really will get people to...

He divulged so much information. And of course, like he was there for like maybe three hours and there are certain lines that were taken out of the interview and put together. But he talked so much shit about Jennifer Garner that I was just like,

Jesus. Did you listen to it? I didn't listen to the whole thing, but he was basically like, if I was still married to her, I would still be drinking. Like I felt very trapped. Like he kind of just ragged on her and like,

I didn't appreciate it because it's not like it's just an ex-wife. Like that is the mother of your children. Like have a little bit of respect. Like I just didn't like it at all. So that made me like out on him kind of. And like the way I feel about Pete and Kim, I think there is an element of like publicity stunt happening there.

Because we like... You know how like you said that she was going to date someone like more explosive than Travis. Do they need to go to the movies? Right. Do they need to go to the movies in Staten Island? It's just classic. But like I...

The reason I didn't care about Ben and Jen Like that being a PR stunt Is because I love Jennifer Lopez so much And like people can say whatever they want I fucking I love Kim Kardashian Like I love watching her I like seeing what she does next I think she has like gone above and beyond Breaking any like glass ceiling in anything And

And like there was an she did an interview a couple. I don't know when she even did it, but I saw like an excerpt of it on like a tick tock. And people were asking her like what she thought about getting so much hate from like working with the Donald Trump administration. And she was basically like, I don't give a shit.

She was like, I don't care who the president is at the time. Not like my concern. I don't give a fuck about politics. She was like, I just cared about helping people. And he was the president at the time. And he helped me help this person. And I just thought it was like such a good way to answer that question. And so like I enjoy watching to see like who she's in a relationship with.

And we loved Pete Davidson before he was ever like linked to Kim Kardashian. So, which is why I'm like interested in their relationship. But,

yes i agree like they do a lot of public things that i feel like if you are a real couple and you're trying to not get found out you could go about it better or not even not get found out but like your goals are not how do we get in the paper like if you want to be right paper you go to the movies during a pandemic right in staten island

No, I mean, it's kind of wild. Staten Island is not the biggest place ever. People are going to know. Yeah, I do think what's fun, though, with our observations on Giggly Squad is because we're observing kind of how the media is with celebrities. We've also been...

we're both sides of it where we are the media sometimes. And then we are talked about by the media. So we're kind of like learning how the system works. But even with Ben Affleck, he then, did you see, he did an interview really pissed off with like some late night show. And he basically was like, they wanted a clickbaity title. And they said that like, she's the reason I drank. Yeah. It was a two hour interview. And like, I really pulled that out of context. Like it was a much deeper thing. I know that most journalists just want to,

take things out of context to make you're so right it's like when you click on something that looks like oh what did this person do and they literally didn't do anything so that was his perspective of it so that's why like we'd have to listen to the whole thing right um everyone has a motive and a reason they're doing everything yes absolutely and howard stern interviews are typically i mean it's not a diane sawyer interview like they're fun they're like usually pretty sexual like they're drinking during it like i

I don't think he was trying to be like super malicious, but I just felt like icky about it when I like was watching. It's not the vibe. It's not the vibe. It's not the vibe. I would have wanted more tea on JLo. Well, yeah, then JLo apparently was like not happy with these comments. But then part of me was like,

why is he even speaking why did you let him speak right right like what is he doing an interview for my next thing is cardi b got offset we were just because we're talking about christmas gifts he just turned 30 i like still can't believe that like cardi b is our age it throws me for a loop every single time i see it and i feel like she's lived so many lives yeah i'm like do i need to be doing more she has like no age to me in my head wait who

You could tell me right now Cardi B is any age and I'd be like, yeah, I know, I know. Also, when I first got into reality TV and people would talk shit to me, she was the person that I'd be like, well, Cardi B did reality TV. I'm like, no, she's a Grammy, so. Yeah, I'm like, sorry, but like I am the next Cardi B. They're like, you don't rap. I'm like, does Cardi? Like, I don't know. Okay, so she got him $2 million. Wait, what?

Wait, she gave him $2 million? Yeah. She just gave him a massive check for $2 million. For as a present? Yes, for his 30th birthday. That's like when your kid starts to become like a teenager and like they're like too cool to pick a present. You're like, here's some money. Yeah. They also went to a strip club for his birthday in which she revealed she spent $100,000 that night. Do you want to guess her net worth right now?

I'll guess it. Okay. I like looking at celebrities net worths and heights. She's 13 million. 13? Yeah. 40. Shut up. Yeah. Approximately 40. Oh my God. Go off. You know? Wow. I mean, she had so many consecutive hits. Good for her. Good for her. But my thing is,

I feel like when you're really rich, it doesn't mean you're going to spend like crazy. If you had that much money, would you be the person that like drops 100 grand one night at the club? At least once I probably would.

like isn't it hard to drop a hundred grand I mean I'm sure when you get into it it's not I think if I was worth 40 million dollars there would be one night at a club that I probably would be like let's just fucking go off I always think though like how many fucking drinks do you have to drink to even get to a hundred thousand I

I think it's more you're paying for like the ambiance like you're probably are paying for multiple tables like for all of your friends. So like no one's really around you. And then like bottle, bottle, bottles and then tipping. And you're tipping and you're getting the most expensive bottles. You're probably not drinking at all anyway.

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ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Are you ready for some hoops off? Are you ready for some hoops off? This is legitimately what you see people do right before they're going to fight. They take off their hoops, their earrings, because they don't want to get them ripped out of their ear. And they get ready for battle.

Hey, I'm Liz. And I'm Karen. And you're listening to Hoops Off from Luminary. On this show, we take our hoops off to bring you the spiciest, the saltiest takes on each week's games. We'll also be reading books by our favorite players, reviewing Shaq-sponsored products. And of course, we'll be bringing the tea. Should I, should I prepare the hot water? Oh, you better prepare the hot water. Please make sure to follow the show on your favorite podcast listening platform.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Wait, have you watched any, anything? No, well, you were on vacation. Did not watch Sex Life of College Girls, and then Sex and City Shit was like getting weird, so I like had to pause. Wait, no way. Like... What episode are you on? No.

No, I didn't even start. Oh. Okay, well, I just want to say this, and Sierra can back me up on this because she's very impressed that I watched Sex and the City and then I predicted everything that was going to happen in the next episode, and it did. Is it good? Okay, personally, I think Sex and the City, what is it? And so it is. Oh, and just like that. And so it is is from that reality show.

with Alexis Nyers. I think the way, and so it is, I think the way that they handled the Samantha thing, like I thought it was good. People nitpicked and pulled it apart. But the thing is,

Is it the same without Samantha? Like, are the characters still good together without her? I think she would have added such an awesome dynamic to it because I would have loved to seen an older woman, like, who was still single by choice. And, like, if they were still, like, dating, I would have loved to, like, watch that. Yeah.

But so I think they are definitely missing out with not having her. But I don't think like the show is bad at all. Like every time they drop a new episode, I watch it immediately because I'm so excited. Well, it's like the movies like they're not great, but like you still love them. Yeah. Like I watch for a very different reason. Like I love seeing like each character, even Miranda. Like I love that was so mean. Like I didn't even mean it to be that mean. Oh my God.

Oh my god That was so mean It's because I'm in my high school bedroom right now And that was straight up All girls high school I was like even you can come to the party if you want No that was the meanest thing I've ever said Well Miranda's like girl boss She's very Okay here the one thing I will say They've made Miranda and Steve act like they're 85 years old Like Steve can't hear Like it's just like very intense But like

But like I love watching the clothes that they pick out for. I love watching it for Carrie. But like I love seeing Charlotte's because she has such a like preppy style. And also it's huge in Europe. When I was in Europe, everyone was talking about Paris. There's just like a lot of billboards people talk about on the radio shows. Like it's a very intern. It's interesting to see what's internationally like really important to people. They love that. You really made it when you're internationally known. Wait, what else? Do you have anything else?

I think that was... Let me check the note one last time because I feel like I did have one other thing. Oh, I have in here the time a guy cheated on me and told me that a girl was...

oh wait the guy the time a guy cheated on me and he told me the girl was homeless and he was giving her a place to stay one did someone message you this is this a story that happened to you life story this is a real life story and i don't know what i was doing i was doing something this week and it made me think of it like popped in my head one time i had a boyfriend

This is a great story to close out on because if your day is going horribly, this will make you feel better. Because no one could have been as dumb as I was in this particular moment. Was he tall? He was 6'5". Okay, well that explains everything. Continue. I had a boyfriend and I went to his apartment one day and on the nightstand was a girl's watch.

And I was just like, yo, what the fuck is this? And he was like, oh, one of my friends like came over the other day. And I was like, and she left her watch on the nightstand. Like, what are you talking about? And he was like, no, it was like a friend. She like her. She's in between apartments like she didn't have anywhere to stay. She stayed on the couch. And I was just like, OK, like this is the craziest thing ever anyway.

He fell asleep later that night and I took his thumb, opened his phone, went through all of his text messages. And she, in fact, was not homeless because he did send her an Uber to her apartment to pick her up to bring her to said apartment that was his. Oh, I thought of it because I remember her name was Chelsea. Why did I think it was? Why did that pop into my head, though? Anyhow.

So he had convinced me that she was homeless and she wasn't. He's like, she got lost and she like just found my dick and was like, oh my God. And was like, I'm home.

Yeah. And so that's the time I got cheated on and convinced that the girl was homeless. This is amazing because I also recently learned some very, very, very toxic advice that I was not like with great power comes great responsibility. And I wasn't going to bring it up. But because of the situation you're talking about, if you want to go through your dude's phone, you probably are not in the right relationship. I'm going to practice it with that. That's true. I'm going to practice it with that.

Are you interested sometimes? Yes. That's just being human. But if you feel like the fear that you have to, it's different. Such different feelings. No one talks about that. Like, okay, here's a perfect example. Any boyfriend I've had before the age of 25, I went through their phone. Like I knew exactly how to get the fucking into it. Like it was like clockwork. I knew how to do it. I knew how to screenshot, send it to myself, screenshots, send it to myself.

with like any relationship after 25 really but like specifically craig his phone will like light up and there's like an instinct in my head where i want to look over to like see who's texting but i don't want to like actively look in his phone that honestly that like exhausts me i'm like i don't even want to look at my own phone why would i want to look at yours i don't know if it's because i'm lazy yeah it is but i've never went through a guy's phone before

ever hello i was a professional at going through guys phones i'll play crosswords on des's phone i would get like an adrenaline rush yeah but so this is my sick piece of advice that i think i saw on tiktok you can use face recognition with a photo of the guy's face on your phone

Oh my god, if I knew this like five years ago. So I know this is crazy and I haven't tried it, but gigglers let me know, but only do it if you want to end your relationship because you think he's cheating on you. I'm literally going to go downstairs and try that on my mom's phone. Don't just look into something because you're bored. Don't do it before the holiday season. Get your gifts and then do it after and then get out.

Get your gift, then go through his phone, keep the gift you got for him, and then say Merry Christmas. Yeah. Get out of there. Also, just think it's more privacy than, like, would you want him looking at, like, you Googling, why does my vagina smell like this? Like, just, it's a privacy thing. You know?

I feel like that's what every girl is Googling all the time. Okay. That's exactly what every girl is Googling. Every girl is Googling that. The amount of times I've been like, what is the normal? And then they try to explain the smells and it never makes sense. The amount of times I've seen like pennies come to it. They're like baking powder. And you're like, what is baking powder?

I feel bad when I come across like it could be green. I'm like, what could be green? Oh my God. We could do a whole podcast just on that. Every time at the bottom, it's like, go see a doctor. I'm like, why am I here?

Anyway, guys, I hope your vaginas are doing great this holiday season. We love you so much. We hope you get lots of amazing gifts. Give amazing gifts. Yes. Thanks for giggling with us today. Oh, and don't forget to buy tickets to our show. Oh, yeah. We have L.A., San Francisco and Seattle on sale. Go to our Instagram. It's in the link in bio and it's going to be crazy. And giggle, giggle bells.