Giggling about hot girl diets, hair plugs, and amazon addiction
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I mean the day just got away from me. What is up? Welcome to the Giggle Squad. It's giggle time. Guess who I'm with? Why did that just make me laugh so hard? I wish it was funny enough to think of like, yeah, Chrissy Teigen in the house. Yeah.

What's up, Hannah? We've settled. We're still with each other. We haven't found anyone better at this point. But I just want to say, we got our first episode out and the response has been fucking amazing. I mean, I couldn't even, I was like overwhelmed and I kept checking to see like what we were on the top charts. And I was like, Paige doesn't even know what a chart is. Yeah, like I didn't even know how it worked. And she goes, I don't know what this means, but it seems good.

And I was just like, oh my god, the gigglers literally did this. Like, we had nothing to do with it. Starting today, patreon.com slash giggly squad. We're posting the videos so you guys can see our hungover and bloated faces. And Hannah and I unintentionally matched today, which I love that for us. Great.

gray sweatshirt and we just woke up messy ass hair we look like potatoes um literal potatoes I I'm still on like that quarantine sleep schedule like I fall asleep at 3 a.m real quick you've been doing the like sakara life thing okay so I did it for like a week that's like the hot girl diet by the way yeah I was like oh my god I am like single and trying to be the hottest version of myself I'm gonna eat plants only

Paige is posting it looking so glamorous Like these gorgeous things But you can't tell the size of them It looks like it could be a huge granola bowl And I text her and I go Are you hungry though? And she goes Starving No they're actually really good

Yeah, but is it enough food? It's enough food because you can eat like bars. They have salads. They don't tell you like how much to eat. You can eat as much as you want. It's just I'm so not used to just having like plants. And I only did it for like a couple days. I didn't even do it for a full week. And then like at late night, I would do like my normal like let's get some nugs. Why'd you stop? They only sent it to me for a week. Okay.

You're like my swipe up. I'm poor. I'm not buying this. My swipe up ran out. Page 20 is now page zero. And here we are. But that was cute. I'm proud of you. When you went on that sugar cleanse, you were such a bitch. Guys, I went on the craziest diet ever.

like two summers ago before we started filming Summer House because I was like, I just want to be fit because I know all we do is drink all summer and eat like absolute shit. Yeah, like what other TV show are they just like drinking in bikinis? So...

I did no sugar, no dairy, no carbs for two weeks. She did air. Yeah, I literally lived on light. I just coughed in your mouth. I lived on light and air and I was so happy about it. I was like, do I live in LA? She was literally so mean. Like I was eating anything and she'd be like, what are you eating? And I'm like, M&M's. And you were like, don't do it around me.

And I was like, you're protecting. I sniffed out. Hannah was in another room eating M&M's and I literally sniffed it out. I go, the audacity of you to eat a fucking M&M in my presence. And you were like, you weren't even in this room. I didn't even know you were here. Should you even go here? No, I felt like you were a little horse and I was like, want some M&M's?

And you were like, you like locked yourself in the bathroom at one point. Yeah, I did. I was like, I needed a moment. My diet for summer house is I just accept I'm going to gain 10 pounds. And the only time like I don't gain weight is because I'm having diarrhea stress.

Agreed. Usually when we like stop, when summer house is over, I then lose like 10 pounds because I just go back to not drinking as much. Yeah. Well, speaking of partying. Yeah. It's about to be your fucking birthday, Scorpio Queen. My birthday is on Wednesday, November 4th. Can I tell you that I...

I usually love my birthday and I love like celebrating it and I never care about turning a year older because we're still in our 20s but I'm having a real tough time thinking about turning 28. Ooh as an elder. Yeah. 29.

27 to 28 is a game changer. Is it? Yeah. I feel like that. Because 27, you're still close to 26, which is close to 25, which is close to 20. Yeah. 28 is when you start- I'm so glad that's how your brain works because that's how I did it in my head too. I was like, I'm practically 21. When you're single at 27, people are like, oh my God, you just need to discover yourself, find yourself, find what brings you joy. When you're single at 28, people start being like-

So what are you doing with your life? Are you okay? Like, do you need to go to therapy? Why are you single? Why are you just doing fashion photos every night? Why don't you try to work on yourself and find a real connection? Hannah. And stop doing fucking swipe ups for Sakara life. Did you go through my DMs? That was from Jessica. She DMed me to ask you that.

and the moral of the story is I'm gonna be okay and if I'm not I'll let you know no you're literally gonna be so fine I'm so excited for you but I'm not fine because I don't know what to get you because you are literally like materialistically I feel like anything you want you get yeah you have and you have it for less honestly don't get me anything my mom said the same thing and I was like I just I don't

I'm not celebrating it like we're in a pandemic like I'm not I can't do anything for it obviously and I don't there's nothing like I want I always said that because I don't own a Chanel bag which I think is like a classic thing that every girl needs to have

And I always said like, I don't want a Chanel bag if someone else is buying it for me. So this year I was like, maybe I'll splurge and buy myself a Chanel bag. And then I was like, we're in a pandemic. People are dying out here. People are losing their shit. Yeah. That we'll get into that.

And I was like, I can't just like go out and buy myself a Chanel bag. How would one go about buying a Chanel bag? Do you go to like the place in the city? Or do you call Chanel and you say, it's Chanel on the phone. It's Chanel on the phone.

Or do you go online and do your research? And then how do you pick which one you want? I know. So I've been looking at so many online, and I'm just like, this is so tough. I feel like it's going to be like a- It's like buying a little house. Yeah. You're buying a small house for a baby. I feel like I'd have to either go- Is that where you're going to put your baby? Yeah. This is why you shouldn't be a mother ever. I'm like, you live in here now. You're my accessory. You live in this bag. Yeah.

I feel like I would like go to the Chanel store or I would go to like, I don't know, Saks or something. I don't know. I have like really- What color are you leaning towards? I definitely do black. I would definitely do black and like a classic quilted leather. But I just, I don't think this year is the year. So I think maybe I'll do it at 29. So my question as like the dumb one of the group with fashion- Yeah.

Guys can't tell what a bag is or the extent of it. Some girls can tell. What are you doing it for? I have always loved classic, timeless fashion. And I've always loved Coco Chanel and Audrey Hepburn and all of that. And there's just something about a Chanel bag that...

Is just a classic piece. And I always think like my daughter will then use this bag. Like any designer bag that my mom had when she was younger, I've taken. And you like the idea of you buying it? Yeah. Like I would never want, like when I've had boyfriends in the past, they've, some of them have been like, yeah, like I'll get you the Chanel bag. And I'm like, no.

But then when we break up, like that bag will always be tainted to me because you bought it. And my mom was like, I'll get you a Chanel bag like or we can go like have these on it. And I was like, I'm an adult. This is why you shouldn't date because boyfriends become ex-boyfriends. And then they ruin every song you listen to during the time that you dated. Yeah.

They ruin any food that you enjoyed, any restaurants. I still can't eat Thai fusion. That is a trigger for me. They ruin things, so you have to decide what you need to keep sacred in your own life. Can I tell you something? I've probably had...

Maybe five real relationships, like people that I'd be like, that was my ex-boyfriend. And then you have like those mini little bullshit things. But I've probably had like four or five real relationships. Anything they have ever given me, I have gotten rid of.

I have not kept one piece of jewelry. I have not kept like a shoe. What do you do with it? I either give it back to them and say like, I don't need it. You deal with it. Or I've given it to like a friend or something. You throw it in their face. Yeah. Like I throw it. Yeah. I drop it off at them. Or I drop it off at the voodoo shop and I say, ruin his fucking life. Now. I've never thought of that, but I love it.

For us. And then I, like, all the hair that I was collecting from the shower, I bring it to her. Yeah. And I say, this is his. These are his pubes. I cut his dick off. That went dark real quick, you guys. Yeah, that went left. That went left. Because I was thinking, like, I don't want him to die, but I want him to have the worst stomach ache he's ever had. And then whenever he thinks it's over, the second wave comes. Yeah. So I am not...

like the jewelry and all the gifts and stuff like that like it doesn't do anything for me really which you would think it was because i fucking love shit but um so i never wanted a boyfriend to ever buy me a chanel bag because i was like i want to do that on my own because i want to be able to use it for the rest of my life i just realized what i want for my worst enemy you know when like your sock keeps falling yeah or like your sock something is just like off something's in your sock

Something's in your sock and the sock keeps falling and you have a little blister and it's like the back of the shoes rubbing. That's what I want for them for the rest of their fucking life. I want everyone that I hate to just constantly have a blister on the back of their heel. And their favorite shoe rubs against that blister. I actually have two blisters on the back of my feet right now. Someone definitely someone someone wish that shit on you. That's some karma, bitch.

But what I was trying to say is like, I've been shopping on Amazon for people. But like, I feel like you have your own Amazon storefront in your little studio apartment. Have you been... I feel like you've bought everything on Amazon in the last... During quarantine. And so have I. Okay. Quick side note. This is how I know that I am an adult. Because I've always...

Done like a drunk purchase here and there and it's like a lip gloss or like a top or something just like stupid, whatever. A skincare something. I have been getting drunk, coming home and ordering shit on Amazon and forgetting about it yesterday. Full pot and pan set delivered. Full pots and pans. The day before that. You don't cook.

Correct. Full knife set. Cutlery. Needed it. Guess I needed it. Week before that, toaster. So like, I don't know how much more adult I could be than ordering Pots of Pants. I didn't know your drunk self was Martha Stewart. Bitch turns into Martha Stewart and she's like, we need this. By the way, did you hear that Martha Stewart said the thing she missed most while in jail was lemons?

I didn't hear that. Which is hilarious to me. But that just made my day. That's the most Martha Stewart thing I ever heard. Also, when I think about it, I imagine them being like, we can't give her lemons. Like, she'll squirt it in people's eyes and she'll get past the jail guard. And then Snoop Dogg will pick her up outside and they'll escape together.

Can we talk about how that's probably the best friendship I've ever seen in my life? She wished him a happy birthday the other day on Instagram. And I was like, this friendship is so pure. They need a podcast.

No, like why don't they have one? Because I want to know what they talk about. What and how often do they chat? He's like, hey, Martha, what'd you make this morning? Is that your Snoop Dogg impression? What the fuck was that? That was the worst impression I've ever done in my life. And I'm so embarrassed and I'm so upset that this podcast isn't edited because now everyone's judging me.

Jan and Juice, I don't know That was good, I like that though Jan and Juice What's up y'all, it's Snoop Doggy Dogg I love Snoop Is that better? No, it wasn't better, but it's okay It wasn't worse, it was different You can't be perfect Yeah, it wasn't worse, it was different Sometimes I'm so good at voices, I just want to feel like a normal person Right I butchered a Donald Trump impression the other day How'd that feel? That was embarrassing

I just, it humbles me sometimes. Cause once you start it, you don't know what's going to come out of your mouth and sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Anyway, what else have you been getting on Amazon? Um,

So we were talking the other day and we were going through like our Amazon purchases. Yeah, like I'm pulling out my Amazon purchases because I need to be held accountable for my actions right now. And I need to embarrass myself. I realize I bought a lot of nail polish, like lots of nail polish. So I'm starting this new thing where I decided that I'm going to make art. Okay, right. You said that. But I haven't made any of it, but I've bought...

Oh, God. I bought in sea glass. Sea glass? Paint? What do you even do with that? Spray paint. I don't know. I thought I could do something cool with sea glass, and now I just have, like, pounds of sea glass, which are, like, pretty. Then I did buy...

a wooden thing like to paint okay like and it's all just in a corner no it's like a wood plank and i was gonna like paint it you were gonna paint the plank yeah i thought it was gonna be like i'm trying to do this like whole like modern beach house vibe okay and then i bought all these corks like corks because i saw on pinterest people like make things with corks are you are

Are you okay? No. Yeah. Because I just am buying like half of 10 art projects. Not really. Okay. It's more just like I want to feel creative, but then I actually have real work to do right now. And you're like, I got to work on my cork board. Yeah.

And let's just say, um, the people at Amazon are just laughing in my face. I will, I will start to worry about you when you're like, I just painted this wood plank and I put this cheeky little saying live, laugh, love on it. And I hung it in the family room. That's when we'll have a straight intervention. Home is where the beach is. Sand in my toes is where I find happiness. Um,

Also, I'm guilty. Wait, what if we just talked only in those like weird like sayings that moms hang over like the kitchen table? Like family is the happiness of the home or like I don't even know. Yeah, that's that's actually my worst nightmare. And if I walk into a guy's place and I see like

any kind of quote no no any kind of like motivational quote i'm my actually my friend chris who works at southampton social i'm blowing his spot up right now yes i know he's really cute and he's like designing his own apartment but like it's a straight guy designing your own actually house and i was just like oh what aesthetic are you going with and he was like i put up a painting i was like oh my god cool what kind of painting and he goes it's not really painting it's just a quote

I said, what? And he goes, I read it every day. I walk outside the house. And then what is it? It goes, it says hustle. No. Hard work is like at the other side of your comfort zone. And I go, I've never been drier. My pussy has never been drier. I go, put that shit in your notes in your phone. Okay. Right. Like you don't need to put, you don't need to put it on the wall.

I wonder what goes on in straight men's heads sometimes when they are putting up a hustle quote outside their door or when they're taking photos of people. I just want to know what goes on their head when straight guys do those things. Straight men decorating is a, is

is a funny thing that people don't talk about enough. I once went into one of my guy friend's apartments, and this is like a while ago, and they have like this crazy painting up. And I was like looking at it, and I go, I feel like that should be really expensive. Like what is this painting? And I don't know anything about art. You're like, maybe I don't understand the art here. Yeah, I'm like, do I understand this? I'm missing this.

Something over my head. That's my worst nightmare is to like someone to start being explaining art and then ask you what you think of it. And you're just like, uh, I don't know. I thought your worst nightmare was accidentally going to jail for tax evasion because you don't know how taxes work. That is my worst nightmare. I can have more than one. I have multiple. I have them all written down in my notes. I'm like, don't let this happen to you. Don't let this happen to you. Oh, no.

The notes in people's phones. I think one day we have to be like, no, no, that actually I'm vetoing that because that is something so sacred. I feel like no one ever sees the notes in your phone. The shit I have written down.

is insanity this is the problem with notes though there's no organization or rhyme or reason so then when you try to like think of something or why you wrote something like i have the most random just like songs that i want to download written everywhere in my phone and i can never find it after mostly my notes are like before stand-up gigs me writing down like the order of my jokes i have like daily to-do list um future baby names fall to-do list my fears i have written down my fears

Why? I don't know. I don't think that's good. It's not good. I don't know when I did that or why I did that, but...

It's something that's in there. I was talking to this comedian, Manon Matthews. She's when I'm burning in hell. She was talking about how your brain does not process like negatives. So if you're like, I don't want to go to jail for tax evasion. Your brain just hears going to jail for tax evasion. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Manifesting. Do not put that energy on me. Do not. I'm just saying you have to change your words. Let me change my narrative. Your subconscious just hears the words.

So you need to be like, I'm paying taxes. I'm paying taxes. I'm living free. No, I'm living free. I'm paying my taxes. I'm doing my bills. I literally got something in the mail from like the treasury yesterday. And I go, this is it. This is the time. This is when it happens. It's like a tax refund for like $4. I was like, thank you so much. Thank you.

Also like just get a fucking accountant. I have one. I'm not worried about it. It's also just like a funny thing now that's turned into like a whole thing. But wait, back to the Amazon ordering during quarantine. I ordered in an odd amount of underwear. Like an odd amount. So did I. Why? It's because we don't want to do laundry right now. I think that's what it was. I was just like, fuck these underwear. I actually have an update because you know, I only wear granny panties. Yeah. It's like my brand. Yeah.

So I don't know if everyone knows that about you, though. I feel like you think people know that. And really only the people closest to you know that Hannah refuses. Now, I've lived with Hannah for many a summer too long. And Hannah refuses to wear a thong. She won't do it. I will not wear that floss. No, she will not wear that butt floss that society puts on to us. And there have been so many times where we've gotten ready to go out. And I'm like, can you can't wear that? You can see your underwear. And she goes.

This is me. Take it or leave it. I'm not trying to pretend I don't wear underwear. Okay?

If the guy likes a fat ass, he's going to have a good time. It's such an interesting quality about you that I actually have learned to love. But I made this update because I wear full granny panties. My whole ass is covered. I hate, hate, hate the feeling of wedgies. I hate it. That is not what it feels like, though. Like I'm telling you. People are like, oh, at least do a cute boy short. I'd rather a thong than those boy shorts that are just...

Like what are you doing? I might as well just stick toilet paper up my ass. No, I think boy shorts are actually very uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. And then it's literally I'd wish it on my worst nightmare. Just like a constant wedgie when you're trying to focus on what you're saying and you just feel your butthole being attacked. I don't think I even have. I don't have one pair of underwear that isn't a thong. You're clearly not doing like high activity because when you play tennis, like you cannot play sports in thongs because they say that like

There's some kind of bacteria or something that's probably against it. Like, because I'll think about like your butt sweat and your vagina sweat and like, oh my God, this got so dark. Yeah. You don't sweat. I just sparkle. But no, I do wear thongs now, but I bought this new underwear and I'll do a swipe up on Giggly Sweat Instagram where like it's, it looks like a thong in the front. Like it looks like it's a G string in the front, but then the back, it turns into like a full diaper. Yeah.

I love that for you. In the front, it looks sexy. I love that for you. But in the back, my butt is covered. Okay. Well, I bought a lot of Calvin Klein thong underwear during quarantine. I did Calvin Klein, too. I love that. I feel like they're so comfy. Do you ever not wear underwear at all? Okay. So, actually, this is an interesting topic of conversation because...

I don't like I always wear underwear and my some of my girlfriends think it's so weird that I wear underwear when I wear workout leggings.

It's not weird. I don't think it's weird. I like my lips to be covered. I like them to be in a home. In a home. They can't get away. Yeah, this is your home. This is where you live. What if some shit went down? I don't like my labia just like out and about. I just, I'm uncomfortable with it. I wear underwear to bed.

to bed also like people think that's weird I'm like oh yeah I'd rather go topless with underwear than no underwear bra like I'm not a big like sleep naked person either what if there is a fire I'm I don't wake up for anything so I don't care about that I'm

Hannah and I literally Hannah and I had to get up this morning for 11 a.m. We were like, good morning. You know what I mean? We were like, you would have thought it was 6 a.m. We were like, we can't. We're waking up during this pod. Like at 40 minutes, I'm going to be awake and I can't wait for that. No, it's because I don't fall asleep till 3 a.m. I was watching the Lily James Army Hammer movie. We'll get into it. Okay, we need to move on because I actually have so much to say to that. We need to do front page news because the shit going on right now is fucking insane. So my first story is

Kim Kardashian. She turned 40. She took all of her family members and some close friends to an island in Tahiti and she is getting major, major backlash. Khloe was on the Ellen DeGeneres show and she was like, yeah, it's like a frustrating year. I get it. People are so annoyed about it. But she wanted to do this nice thing and

Kim posted like we took so many precautions. We all got tested multiple times. We all quarantined before we left. The resort that we stayed at was actually very happy to have visitors. They got like they were being paid. Helping small business. Helping small business. People were saying that Kim's like glam photo shoot on the island was very tone deaf with the captions. Someone was like, I haven't seen my family in four months. Here's the thing.

That I think. Look, you can feel however you want about the Kardashians, but you cannot compare yourself to them in any situation. No. Like...

They are not like you and I living in like this normal COVID world. Yeah, like you don't know what you would do if you were in their situation. Like that same person being like, this is tone deaf, like whatever. If you had a billion dollars, would you still be sitting in your mom's basement? They should be like, you know, a little bit more...

Philanthropic I guess During COVID And not going to Private islands But maybe they are Philanthropic Do you know? I mean they definitely are I mean Kim literally goes From like she's doing Like serious prison reform Or whatever Yeah Wait I watched Kim's Thing on Netflix With David Letterman I Yeah

I like her. People said she sounded very educated on the topic. I mean, there was one time when David Letterman was talking about prisoner reform and he was like, how do you feel about, and he went into this big long sentence of all these smart things. And in my head, I was like, what the fuck did he just say? You were like, this is bad, this is bad. And she goes, well, I don't know what you just said. And I was like,

honest. Yeah. She was just like, I don't know what that means. I'm still in law school. I love her. I've always been a Kim stay on. I got it. People are mad that she went and did this, but also she's rich enough to have the means to for everyone to get tested. Everyone to like they weren't spreading it. No one was sick. Like whatever. Also like it's Kim Kardashian. Yeah. Like what do people expect? Her job is to post their glamorous lifestyle for us to laugh at it. That's why the best part about it was the memes because

Because she posted the tweet that was like, okay, it said, after two weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time. And then my friend posted the Jersey Shore house. Yeah.

wait that's epic that's epic oh my god so people had fun with it and look the kardashians the whole part about it is they're not humans yeah they're not they're not humans it's because chloe kardashian posted a photo with no nostrils yeah why doesn't she have a friend that's like yo bitch you edited that too much kim kardashian keeps posting photos where she has six toes

How is no one catching her on it? Or like get a new Photoshop team because clearly they're high off their mind. Yeah, like I know you're not face tuning by yourself. I told you, I want a new thing that if you use a certain level of editing, Instagram should flag it to just say this photo has been highly edited. Wow. You're a life ruiner, huh? Yeah, I'm trying to ruin life out here. You're trying to get out and like really...

But I also do think the more you edit your photos, the more you hate yourself in real life. Yeah, so true. So true. I'm telling you, one of the best compliments I've ever gotten, this was like a while ago. Some guy said to me, you know what? You look the same on your Instagram. And actually, I think you're better in person. And I was like,

Oh my God. Let's normalize that. Let's normalize trying to look the same as you do on your Instagram. I was like, thank you so much. Or actually being more fun in person. Yeah. Than your Instagram. This summer, Instacart presents famous summer flavors coming to your front door. Or pool. Or hotel. Your grocery delivery has arrived, sir. That was faster than room service. No violins in the lobby. Seriously? Yeah.

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It's they. Oh, I didn't know that. So they got hair transplants. Okay. And they love them. How would you feel if your man was losing his hair?

Okay. And wanted hair. Like, I feel like you have thoughts about this. Yeah, I feel like I totally do. So I have some guy friends who have gotten hair transplants. And the confidence in which these men now walk around is so, like, heartwarming. Because I'm like, go off. Like, do your fucking thing. Bang those 21-year-old girls while you're 35. Like, they...

feel so much better about themselves. And I think here's how I feel about hair transplants and like any cosmetic surgery that you electively want to get. If you really feel like it is going to make you more confident and you are going to like yourself more, I think go and do it. But if it's a deeper rooted issue that you're like a girl and you're like, I have to get my tits done. I have to get my boot, my mom. That's the same thing. Boobs. But,

But you never know. I can't believe I just said the word tits. What am I, like trash? My mom is going to be like, are you fucking kidding me, Paige? She's like, you've been hanging out with Hannah too much. If you have to get your lips done, your nose done. Like usually with girls, there's a deeper issue. With guys getting hair transplant, that shit is so normal. Like they lose their hair. If I was dating a guy and he was like, I really want to do this, I would be so supportive. I was like, okay. Like, yeah. Yeah.

You know what? I think I'd be supportive too. Calf implants? No. It's not because they don't, like, maybe they, like, look good. It's the point that this guy was so insecure that he thought he needed calf implants. Like, at some point. Who is that? I don't know, but guys get them. That's insane. Also, guys are getting this new, like, jawline thing. No. Which is scary to me because, you know when you don't realize, like, what makes a guy hot and what doesn't? Turns out we don't like anyone. We just like jawlines.

That's what I realized. Yeah. So guys are like getting fillers to have jawlines and they're going from like literally a guy that's like being shoved into a locker in high school. I mean, I'm all into a guy take like getting fillers

A pedicure, you know, getting a facial here and there. But if they're going and getting as much cosmetic, like lasering their face and like doing all this fake bullshit, like, no, I need you to be like, I'm okay with a little metrosexual. Like I'm okay with European. But if you go past European and you're straight up like,

It's just like it shows how deeply insecure you are and it goes back for men or women. I think you're right. Before you do any like real cosmetic surgery, go to therapy for three months. Right. I agree. To see if it's not just you don't just have to call your dad. Sometimes you just have to call your dad. Honestly, that's what it is. I called my dad the other day and I'm not kidding. The confidence boost in which I received. He goes, he takes a FaceTime from my mom. He goes,

I just want to let you know that I love you so much and I love you like every single day. And I mean, he was talking a mile a minute, just like gassing me the fuck up. And I was just like, dude, I fucking love you. Like I am obsessed with my dad. Like on another level. See, my dad just has to like acknowledge me and like not shit on me for a second because we just are always roasting each other. And he just has to be like,

I love you. And I'm like, I love him so much. Anyway, we have daddy issues. One time. Wait, this is a great story. One time. This is years ago. I think I was in college. Some guy was like being rude to me or something and just like being a dick. And my comeback to him was like not going to work because I fucking love my dad.

not gonna work with me and he was like what and i was like yeah i have a dad he loves me i love him so this game doesn't fucking work with me and i was just like wow it's kind of a badass fish line you guys whenever any dude fucks with you just go this isn't gonna work for me because i love my dad i love my dad so this is gonna work because i love my dad so

move on to the next girl that is so fucking good yeah my dad's whole thing with me is always like don't let boys distract you and then when i start dating a guy he just goes don't ruin his life so i don't know what kind of games my dad's playing with me but i like it i like that too i like that too can we discuss emily rad dude maybe the cutest pregnant human i've ever seen in my life and she knows it yeah no she knows it she's not even i was

I was dying laughing when I was looking at her pregnancy photos because I was like, first of all, Hannah was that size a month ago when we took her pregnancy shoot. I literally had nachos and I was bigger than that.

And also, this is very interesting. She wrote like the whole essay for Vogue. Also, did you read her essay that she wrote about the photographer sexually assaulting her? I thought it was really good. The cut article. Yep. People were like, oh my God, Emily, we don't care what you have to say. You're just a supermodel, which I was like, first of all, rude. Basically for people who didn't read it, shh.

She, as a young model, you get put on photo shoots. Sometimes you get paid. Sometimes it's just, like, good to have a famous photographer shoot you. Yeah. And this guy was, like, pretty legit. She said she went upstate with him.

And he basically... It was kind of like a lingerie thing. And she was getting drunk with him. And she was just saying how he was awkward. And then eventually he was like, let's go nude. And she was taking photos nude. And the next thing you know, he was trying to put his finger in her. Yeah. And she was like, no. And then he ended up taking all of the pictures and creating a book. And she never got paid for any of it. Yeah, so then he came out with a book. And she apparently had...

he's saying that she signed like a waiver being like before she went on the shoot, but they couldn't even find that. And she lost like tons of money and lawyer fees. And I think he's like loaded, but yeah, he had a whole like New York, um, art show of just her nudes. And like, she was just like, people were like, she was like, this is the part that blew my mind so much. She was like, just imagine someone having a nude photo of you like above their couch.

Yeah. If it's not my husband, don't want it. Also, if I ever walked into a guy's apartment and there was a nude photo of Emily Ratajkowski, I'd be like, Jesus Christ, get it together. So...

I can't believe you just said that because one time I did walk into a guy's apartment and there was like... Years ago. Years ago. No, this was years ago. This was actually probably a year before Perry and I were dating. I walked into this guy's apartment and he had a massive picture of Emily Ratajkowski like in a bathing suit, in like a Sports Illustrated bathing suit. And he was like, no, it's like a really... I'd be like, grow up. He was like, that's like a really famous... And I go, okay. It's like...

grow the fuck up take down that's when i'll take the live laugh love poster that is the only exception where i'm like put a live laugh live laugh love just like having like you know they have those like 50s or 40s photos of like women yeah like over a car and they're like it's art there was a guy you're there was no taste there was a guy one time that had an audrey heppern picture with a ball gag in her mouth and i was like what the fuck is this yeah that's like where

rich guys being like this is art and it's like no you're not interesting because you're trying to sexualize a queen I was like how dare you do that to Audrey Hepburn then he was like you kind of look like her and I was like thank you so much

What's next? Okay, so Armie Hammer got... This is like so crazy. So obviously, Armie Hammer is my number one. I actually realized last night when I was watching the movie Rebecca with him and Lily James. He's my number one. Like if I ever met him, I'm sorry, but I'm throwing myself at him. Like I love him.

Everything about him I love. I'm so not sure about that. I think he's so good looking. There's something about his voice. He's like big. Oh my God, I can't even talk about it. Have you ever seen his interviews? Do you like his personality? Yes, I love everything about him. You sound like Claire from The Bachelorette, but continue. I don't care. I love him. So he commented on Timothy Chevrolet's Instagram and said, King shit.

with a bunch of emojis like the eggplant emoji, the water spout emoji, hearts, and fire. And people were like,

freaking out about it. Like, you're 50 years old. No one cares about you. Why are you saying this? And he was like, whoa, calm down. He was trying to be sarcastic how, like, when girls comment on other girls' Instagrams, like, yes, queen, like, do that, whatever. He was being funny. He was being funny. And it made me love him even more. That's really the only story. I just wanted to bring him up. You literally just...

Wanted to tell a story about how much you love Armie Hammer. Yeah. Which is a perfect transition for me to discuss The Bachelorette, which I know you don't watch and you didn't understand my reference that you're just like Claire from The Bachelorette. Yeah. For people who don't know...

Claire is 39. She's the oldest Bachelorette ever. And she has been on multiple seasons. Should I be watching The Bachelorette? Like, it's just, I've never watched it. I've never watched The Bachelor. I've never watched The Bachelorette. And I love reality TV. I just can't get into it. Then you should. You should. But it's like, I started watching it when I was with my girlfriends in college and it was like our...

Monday football Like it's like Come on Tim We're rooting for Tim Right You just get so into it And it's It's just amazing And they also have A great humor to it It's funny Okay Anyway

So she did the number one rule that you don't do as the bachelorette, which is actually quite easy, is you don't when the guy comes out of the limo, when they all come out and you meet them, go, I just met my husband. Oh, I. Oh, well, I would never be the bachelorette. No, but literally like your only job is like even if.

Of 30 people, what I always say with The Bachelorette is like, you know the three guys you like. You meet 30 guys, you know which three you like. But you have to keep your cards close to your chest, as they say in Love Island. I keep my cards close to my chest and make America like fucking not know what you're going to do. She immediately just goes, oh my God, I just met my husband. I'm surprised they kept that in because from a television standpoint, like...

Well, I don't think they were going to, but she was so out of control to the point that the other men start revolting, which has never happened in any bachelorette. They staged a coup.

Right. Yeah, that was like a real great reference. Is this a political podcast now? I don't even know how to spell a coup, but this is a political podcast. Who cares? So she basically won't stop talking about Dale. Like a guy will come and she'd be like, but what do you think about Dale? Like, you know when you have a crush on someone and you can't stop saying their name, you keep bringing them up in conversation. Yeah, and I was like, oh my God, that reminds me of Dale. Or it's like, does that refrigerator remind you of the time that like Dale opened a refrigerator? Yeah.

Or like, oh my God, I love water. Dale likes water. Yeah. I love when you get in like those moods. Because you know when you're with your friends and you're just trying to have brunch and like everything they say. It's just like she's having a Sheena moment, except she has no friends. She just has other guys she's dating. Yeah. And it's like when you still like your ex and like you go on your first date and you're just like, am I really into this? Yeah. You're like, the waitress brings the water and you're like, my ex was a swimmer. Oh my God.

Wow. I'm going to say that. So I think the guys are starting to revolt. Yeah. And that's why they were like, okay, so we need to show why they're revolting. And then what happens is I think she ends up just leaving with the guy like really early and then go and then a new girl comes in, which is insane because they're supposed to pick guys that want that girl. So I don't know how that transition is going to work. Wait, wait, wait.

wait yeah so you're saying that the bachelorette like cuts her season short like really short because she's like nah i met my man i'm also this guy is this like he like used to be a football player so you know i feel about that he definitely he's he's like a male fitness model in new york city like we know people who know him his name is dale moss he's like this light-skinned like tall black guy and like yeah he's cute yeah he's sweet but like

You don't know the person until you've gone to Ikea with them. Right. And just like...

Male models are like, I'd say worse than athletes because at least athletes are going to like make money. I was thinking it, but I was like, no, I can't say it. I can't say it. I said it. Thank God. At least they like don't care about their appearance more than you. And at least they like are going to have athletic children. So then you can like they can get scholarships in college. I've thought about this. Male models like they're also treated differently because they're so good looking. Yeah.

Yeah. You don't understand this because this happened to you, but like people assume that you're like nicer and like more successful and everything. Only if you're a guy though. Only if you're a guy. Well, as a girl, like you, I feel like people might be nice. I also want to be, I want to be the better looking one in the relationship. Like I want him to be like, I can't believe I got her. And maybe like, exactly. I can't believe you did either. And it's good because they say that like,

I don't... You have to find a balance. But they always say, like, do you want the guy to like you more than you like him? I feel like there's a balance. There's a balance. But I feel like what I go off of is my dad loves my mom way more. Like, way more. Like, this man cannot do a single thing. They say for a successful marriage, that's what it should be. Yeah. And I think there's... Okay, there's always times in relationships, we're talking about, like, in the past, that...

you like them more than they like you and it's like super fun but then you're like okay but now I want to like go to sleep at night like you like me more than I like you there's a part where you're like oh like this is so fun I'm like so obsessed with you but then you also start to get nervous because you're like wait do you like me

we haven't even talked about like you are you obsessed with me too and I'm like I can't be in that stage then you're like at your wedding day and you're like hey do you like me yeah are you mad at me yeah like are we wait am I being annoying yeah you literally are gonna be up on the altar and you're gonna be like am I being annoying right now

Maybe you do. I like do my speech. I was like, is that too much? No, I literally need someone who I can like literally fart inside their mouth. And they're like, I love that. Yeah, I you definitely know. OK, my next story is.

We never even talked about this. Chrissy Teigen and having her miscarriage. I mean, that was just heart-wrenching. She had a still birth. It was heart-wrenching, but also as someone who was in the hospital, the fact that she got the amount of content she got is a lot. Like, I'm sorry. At what point were you like, okay, I'm going to be crying?

And I need because I don't think she knew. Like, I think she was getting so much content because she thought she was in there like this is like routine. We'll be fine. And then like shit really got crazy. But she had written an entire essay about the stillbirth of her son, Jack. And Hillary Clinton started following her on Twitter and then tweeted about her, like how brave it was and how that it happens to so many women. And no one really talks about it and how much Chrissy helped her. Yeah.

Or, like, just was helping women in general. And Chrissy, like, started to delete tweets and videos because she was like, Hillary Clinton follows me now. Like, I cannot be out here wilding. And so I was thinking in my head, and I wanted to ask you, who...

If someone started following you on Instagram or Twitter, what would make you freak out? Like, who is the one person that you'd be like, damn, like they follow me right now? Well, fun fact. Okay. Donald Trump Jr. follows me. Shut the fuck up. I literally just do dating and fart tweets. And Donald Trump Jr. like, it happened like a year ago. I was like, that's weird. He's the one that was having the affair with Aubrey O'Day.

He's the brunette one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was having the affair with Aubrey O'Day. While he was married. Correct. Also, is Aubrey O'Day okay? I don't know. Someone's got to check on her. But anyway, who...

Um, like mine, I feel like would be someone in fashion. Like if they love who you asked me to be like, can you ask me what my, well, I wanted you to think I want you. That's what I want. Okay. Who in fashion? Like if Victoria Beckham started following me, I'd lose it. Like I would just lose my mind. Would you then like question every outfit? Everything, everything. I'd question everything.

I'd be like, what specifically made her follow me? I'm more like if a person that I like have a crush on starts following me. Okay. Then it's like little things like,

Yeah, if someone I or like a new friend who I think is cool starts following me, then I'm like, you have to reassess your whole Instagram strategy. You're like, do I do Insta stories like this anymore? Like, how does Hannah do an Insta story? Can I tell you that like when people start following me that I know in like everyday life for the first time, I get really nervous because I'm like, oh, shit, they don't know what front page news is. And I'm a psychopath. And there's so many times where I've had friends text me and be like, wait.

can we just talk about this for a second? What are you doing? I'm like, this is front page news and you'll get it. Yeah, like it's a zone you get in and you kind of black out and you can't. Learn it, live it, love it. Exactly. And the best part about when someone new follows you is looking at your Instagram from the perspective of that person and trying to think if you're cool or not.

A thousand percent. Why does no one talk about it? I don't want to talk about that enough. I go on my Finsta and watch my own Instagram stories. And I'm like, what do people think of me? The one night I was sitting with one of my girlfriends and she goes, what are you doing? And I go watching my Instagram story back because today was a fucking masterpiece. And she was like, story truly comes together.

My best, my favorite thing is, you know, the Lady Gaga meme where she's like amazing and like game changing. That's me watching my own. Revolutionary. Literally just me reposting a tweet. We're. Do you have any other news? No, that was it. I felt it ending. We are going to wrap up with my new favorite segment that we're doing. Yeah. Pep.

Talk time. I love it. Pep talk time. That's how you have to say it. We're talking about all your problems. We're giving you advice. We're talking about it. Hannah, what is the question? Okay, so we got a lot of good stuff this week. We have to talk about it. We have to tell you exactly how we feel. Okay, the first one is Erica.Liston. I don't know if I should blow people up on here, but I will.

He says he can't treat me just like... Erica. Okay. He says he can't treat me just like any other hoe. Okay. I like where this is going. Fuck that. That in capital letters. How do I get him to question mark? I want the D. Whoa. Wow.

Interesting. Interesting. First of all, I don't love that he used the word hoe. Don't love that. I have so many questions. So Erica is trying to sleep with this man. This literally sounds like a me and Luke situation. And he's saying to her, I can't just treat you like every other girl because I care about you. Yeah, this doesn't make sense. No, no, no. Erica, leave.

So, yeah, he is. He thinks you don't. Your dad doesn't love you. Yeah. And he is trying to work some shit. This is the thing with men. Yeah. When you use sex as a tool for control or like putting your pussy on a pedestal when you don't even want the pussy on a pedestal. Something weird is going on because at the end of the day, if you have sex the first date or the 30th date, it doesn't matter. You got to see if the dick is.

game is strong now if erica said this to him on the first date and he was like i can't treat you like that this is the first date then i would get it i got that if you're like you're like a couple weeks into talking or a couple dates into whatever and he has not tried to sleep with you he does not like you because guys will literally sleep with like

anything that walks down the street if like that girl winks or he has a weird thing with sex we're like why does having sex mean that you're treating a girl like a hoe or he's gay because that's what my mom says if someone doesn't like me she's like clearly he is gay she goes and that's what a gay person is someone who's a man who's not attracted to you and that's how I learned about gay people my mom's like they don't like you they like you

They like you as a person. Turns out gay guys actually love you. Yeah, no, I love gay guys. Okay, this is a good one from Danielle Steen underscore underscore. What advice would you give for scooping out a guy? Oh, Jesus Christ. Scooping. I go scooping out. This is a podcast for kids who can't read good.

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Before you go on a date researching the guy. I love this because it is in depth. Yeah. First thing I do is the general Google. Yeah. If you have the full name, great. If you don't, no problem. We will get it. Yeah. No problem.

No, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. So let's say we have like Mike D. So Mike D, you put in his location. Let's say he's in Maryland. Mike D, you put in his job, obviously. If he doesn't have the job, you put in the general job, like accounting. He'll have something about like a college he went to. There will be enough information. You just put all the information you have and then you delve through. You have to look at the LinkedIn, but look at it from... You have to be signed out so that they can't see that you've looked at it.

Which is key. Key. No, that's key. And when you look at the LinkedIn, like look how in depth the LinkedIn is. Like if he's putting too much stuff, like if he has recommendations on his LinkedIn from his coworkers, like he's a fucking loser. Yeah. Like why do you need so much validation from other people? I like to go on the Facebook page.

Facebook. Look at the pictures. See if we have any mutuals. Get their birthday. Figure out their sign. See if we're even compatible. Put it into one of those compatibility charts. I like to also figure out what college they went to, what year they graduated in case they're on any type of roster.

I like to see that roster photo. What did you play in college? That's where you get the real height. Yeah, that is where you will figure out how tall this human actually is. And you also find out if he's a loser or a winner. Because if you want your children to be winners, you can't be fornicating with losers. Right. So definitely the Facebook, definitely Google. Also from his sports thing, it says like who his parents are and his major. You get a lot of info from that D3 lacrosse summer. Then you need to Google Maps that shit.

yeah found their parents the cross the sex will not be consensual so move the fuck on um so yeah if you played hockey you will get an std wear a condom and if you played football he might not be able to form a sentence but you'll have a great time yes when he's not cheating on you yeah so we have um linkedin we have facebook um

then also like just Google image, Google image to see what comes up. You can reverse Google image, which I like recently started becoming obsessed with. Do explain. So you could like copy it, copy a picture and then put it into Google image search, like paste that picture. And then that where it is. Yeah. Like where was this photo taken? What is the vibe? And then like pictures like of that person will come up and you're like,

But people talk shit about Facebook and I really think like Facebook is where you get the goods. Facebook is where you get that like awkward photo he forgot to set to private like freshman year of college and you're like, oh. And then I like to do, I like to see what Instagram whores they're following. I feel like that's very important for our relationship. You know, are you into blondes? Are you into big boobs? Are you into bikini Instagram girls? Are you like, what is, what are you into? Yeah.

I need to know. I really, really cannot even deal with a guy who's following too many thotty girls because it's like, do that shit in private. One time, one of my friends, their Instagram was like open on the table and their explore page was open. And I was just like, that's your explore page? It's just like tits. I go, what are you casting a pornography? Like...

How is that? Like, cause, and then I was like, he was like, well, what's your explore page? And it's literally just fashion. Like it's just girls and like tick tocks of like, look at these shoes. And I was like, I don't know, like normal shit. I'm like comedy. And I go, you are casting a pornography, but okay. Mine is literally cats and memes and food. Yeah. I mean, normal things.

Oh, my God. I love that. When you first start seeing a guy, be like, can I see your explore page? Yeah. And you have to like go when they search when they're searching someone, you have to see where you are in the lineup. Like if they've searched you one time. Do this or not. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you, when you start seeing a guy, make sure he's not in your top search? Yes. Are you kidding? That's number one rule. So a couple of years ago I was on a date and this was like maybe like third or fourth date. And we were like sitting on his couch and we were talking about something on Instagram and I'm sitting next to him and he goes, oh my God, I have to like look that up. And he went to the search page. I was the first person he searched and I was just like,

You're obsessed with me. Literally. That is the best fucking feeling in the world. Yeah, it is. I had the worst fucking feeling in the world in college. When I first got to college, I started seeing this hockey guy and...

That was back then. Yeah, we didn't have Instagram. And I Googled him and I clicked on like all the articles because he had like articles. I just want to see if he was going to go pro. You know, yeah, I want to know if I was really good. Valid. I just want to see if he's good. And he did end up going pro. And he also ended up having sex with my friend. But they got married. Yeah. Anyway, so I digress. I digress. He was in my dorm room and we were looking at my computer and I don't know why.

But somehow like I jokingly was like, let's Google you. No. Because I want to play myself. You're a monster. And every single link had been clicked in a different color. And I was just sitting there. And I actually wasn't quick enough back then. And I think I just let it sit. That's my worst nightmare. That's my worst nightmare. It's true.

Truly terrifying. I think I have dreams of that night going on a date and having to pretend like you don't know everything about this human is the true testament that women are stronger than men. It really is. We're just we're smarter. We're stronger. We're better. We played you.

We played you. And it's also cute when, like, you just set them up. Yeah. You're just like. Yeah. No one talks about it. Girls don't talk about that enough. Yeah. Like, you know, when he clearly, like, loves his little niece. Yeah. And he's just like has. I love kids. And you're just like, oh, my God. Sorry. Like, my aunt's texting me. My niece misses me. I love her so much.

One of my friends was going out on a date with this guy and she was like, he has like a lot of Tulum pictures. And I was like, you have to bring it up. Like you have to bring something up subtly just because she was like, I don't follow him. He was like private, but we had like followed him on like our stalker and stuff. So we knew he loved like going to Tulum.

for like New Year's, like how cliche. And I was like, you have to like subtly bring up like, she's like, I love Mexico. Like I wish we could go to Tulum or something. It's like my favorite place. And she did it. And he was like, wait, no, like I'm obsessed with Tulum. Wait, this is, oh,

What? Boner. Oh, men are just stupid. So stupid. They're just dumb puppies, but we need them to procreate. Final question from Petal Janice went on a date with a guy with super bad breath. All capital letters. Should I tell him? No, no, no, no, no.

Just get out. Just bring like Listerine strips or gum and like be taking a piece of gum and then just be like, oh my God, do you want one? This is my theory. When you actually like a guy, especially in the beginning when your fucking hormone levels are raging. Yeah. His breath is not going to smell that bad to you. And with the wrong person, their breath will smell really bad to you.

That's such an interesting take. I don't know if I believe that. Do you know your mom or your dad, do you ever feel like they have really bad breath? You know when they kind of have it, but you still love it. It's like your own sense. No, because my family is a bad comparison because if someone in my family smells at any point, my whole family knows about it. My dad would be like, why do you smell like that? It's just a whole...

So my family is a bad comparison, but I just, I don't think morning sex and it's like hot, even though. Okay. So true. That's what I'm trying to say. And I really think also when you're with the wrong guy, you get like UTIs and your vagina starts to smell funky because his semen pH is not aligning with yours. And I really think there's a lot more like physical animalistic sense and like

like feelings that isn't just your brain that makes people compatible and I think thinking a guy has terrible breath don't try to fix his breath bitch just get out he's not the right one for you yeah you don't like him I feel like all of our advice is just like just get out just leave

Why are you hanging with this guy? Well, you guys, that was our second episode of Giggly Squad. To watch this, go to patreon.com slash giggly squad. Please, please, please rate, subscribe, review because we see how many people are listening and we see how many reviews we have and it doesn't fucking add up. I don't know what you're trying to do to us because it's fucking pissing me the fuck off because I carried the one and it wasn't right. Sorry, I didn't want to do that. That was epic. That was epic.

Thanks, babe. I love you so much, Anna. Also, it's Paige's birthday on the 4th. So everyone like they can't pair bomb you. What should they do? Honestly, we need to let the gigglers come up with it because we don't. Yeah, I don't.

I have no idea. This is their world and we're living in it. Totally. I want them to come up with it so you guys can pitch us and we'll see what they decide to do. Anything else? Oh, we have Friendsgiving. I have like a fun comedy event that Paige is going to be at. I mean, they'll be at November 18th.

So I'll put a link in the description. Paige, anything else? Do you have anything you want to promote? I'm doing a fashion article. Well, it'll already come out, which will be the top five boots that you need for the fall. And then my next one will be coats under $100. So when you are listening to this, coats under $100 will be coming out. I'm obsessed with that. Follow us at Being Burns. Follow us at Paige. Also Giggly. Elena is helping us with...

the instagram she's doing some videos we are just ramping our shit up and merch is going to come out soon we're waiting for the samples coming out like within like two weeks they should be coming like we're gonna it'll be up and ready yeah we have to do a photo shoot you guys we're fucking so pumped up the squad is back for giggling with us thanks so much for giggling with us we'll talk to you later bye