Giggling about labia lips, perfumes, and apologizing to Hailey Bieber
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They just got away from me. What is up, my goat gigglers? And for the gramglers that don't know what that means, it means greatest of all time. Let's go. Okay, I've elected to start this podcast because I have a story of something that happened to me the other day and I called my mom to tell her about it and she said, the first thing she said was, oh my God, I can't wait to hear what Hannah says. So that's when you know.

I'm excited. So a couple weeks ago, you had brought up on the podcast how you shit yourself in a bodega. I was not only disgusted by you, I was... A plethora of things. A plethora of feelings went through my body. And I apologize for that. Thank you. I apologize for judging you so harshly. Why are we so formal right now? Thank you so much. Are we in a fucking conference call? What's happening? Noted. So...

The other day... Oh, you're trying to tell this in a dainty way. I'm driving home with Sierra Miller and we stopped to get McDonald's. Great. As one does. As one does. I get my usual order. Double cheeseburger, large fry, six-piece chicken McNugget, wash it down with a Coca-Cola. I even got an apple pie, but I didn't touch the apple pie. I even thought, wow, Hannah would hate this apple pie. Anyway, me and Sierra had a whole conversation about how you hate the apple pies. Whatever. Whatever.

So 20 minutes later, my stomach starts to hurt. And I'm like, Sierra, I'm not feeling so hot. And she's like, we're going to be home soon. Like, don't worry about it. And I was like, I'm getting worried about it, though. My body starts going into a cold sweat. My stomach is so bloated. I had to literally take my pants off of my stomach because one press and I was going to explode.

We pull up to the parking garage. Now from the parking garage, I still have to take a 30 minute Uber home to my apartment. There's no way in hell I'm making it home to my apartment. Sierra starts laughing hysterically. I said, I really don't know why you find this funny because if I shit in this McDonald's bag in this car, you will be right here. So I don't think that's a laughing matter. Except I knew that the bag was not a sufficient situation. It's paper.

We get we drop the car off at the parking garage. I immediately run into there happens to be by the grace of God a bar across the street. I run into the bar. I say, do you have a bathroom? And he looks at me like stunned. And he was like, it's literally right there. I go in. I'm in there for like 10 minutes.

And all I could think about was, for fuck's sake, Hannah, you have ruined my nails. I've now shit in a public bathroom and almost shit on the streets of New York City. I don't know what game you're playing with me, but you're done. It's crazy because I just booked a fashion campaign. Ha ha!

While that was happening to you, I was on the phone with my people being like, I will do a matching set and make sure my nails are done. I mean, I never want to be in that position again and only be thinking about you. Like it was so uncomfortable for so many reasons. But you know what?

We've both now been through this traumatizing event together and it's bonded us to make us closer But also that's what you fucking get fucking shit about me and my fucking apple pies That's what happens called karma and the little ghost of me was like and now she's gonna shit herself We were laughing so hard too. We were like what a stupid bitch. She doesn't like these apple pies like zero taste and

And then what about our days? Yeah, I was like gross. Yeah, it's like a nuclear atom. And sometimes it comes in waves. It's a full emotional journey. Emotional journey. At first you're like, this is mental. I'm fine. Just don't think about the pain. And then your body's like, knock, knock, bitch. To the point where you're clenching. And I'm like, not that like if I unclenched, I'd just shit myself. But like you're so uncomfortable and anxious and you're sweating. Yeah.

You're straight up sweating. Honestly, it's a workout. You're burning calories. You almost feel at some point like you could vomit as well because you're so anxious. Any orifice that could come out of just some quick advice for the gigglers. How do you leave that restroom and look...

At all like you have any grace. Someone knocked on the door while I was in there. That always happens. And I was just, I said nothing. I said nothing. I was like, they know it's locked. I said nothing. I was like, I need to literally 007 it out of here. No one can see me. It was a mess. Did you make eye contact with the bartender when you were leaving? No, God no. I wouldn't know him if I fell over him. I had so many things running through my head.

I'd be like, no one go in there. Thank you. Have a good night. I'm here till Wednesday. So it was a very eye-opening experience for me. So I was in Montreal. You were in the hamps. Yeah. And we were texting. And I had a traumatic event happen to me too. Oh my God. This was... You also just said to me, no one direct messages on TikTok. Right. I had just said that. We're literally manifesting that. Yes, we are. We're witches. We're witches.

I have to tell you guys this update on my life because you know how this like celebrity dude DM me once. This is the opposite. A million times bigger than that. And also a different format. Yes. Also like, yeah, it's complete. It's all opposite. So I'm sitting scrolling through TikTok as one does. Yeah. And I get a DM from

It says it's a celebrity's name. Yeah. But immediately you're like, oh, this is a Stan account. Yeah. This is someone who made a fake page. But then it's verified. I'm like, that's kind of weird. And then it has like millions of followers. And I'm like, that's strange. About like almost 10 million, I'd say. At least. Yeah. Can I, I think I'm going to say the name. I think it's pertinent to the story. I mean, I think we should. You guys, Hailey Bieber messaged me on TikTok this weekend. And, but it's complicated. It's not as simple as it sounds. No.

It's not as lovely as you're imagining it. We manifested wrong. We manifested wrong. So I had this girl, Claire Parker, hilarious comic on Burning in Hell. She reads all these crazy documentaries and conspiracy theories. I highly recommend you listen. And one of them is about Hillsong.

And this bitch loves blind items. She's going off. And I'm like, give it to me. Give it to me. I want all the drama. I'm eating popcorn. I'm like, I love cults. Tell me more. And she has this conspiracy theory. I love how I'm repeating it now. But anyway...

A conspiracy theory that Hillsong kind of like was connecting celebrity men with certain celebrity women and that Hailey Bieber was actually supposed to be with Chris Pratt. But then they realized he had political aspirations. So that's why he's with Katherine Schwarzenegger. All alleged. All alleged. Completely alleged. And then she went into like other crazy shit.

And it got like a million views on TikTok. But still, this is my TikTok. This is my niche corner of the internet of me and my silly friends. So I get a message and it's all capital letters. Girl, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. She yelled. She goes, I'm not an object. So therefore, I can't be full capital letters given.

to someone, dot, dot, dot. That whole video made me, capital letters, sick. But then she had a cry face and then a side cry face, which made me think that she was like not 100% serious. Angry. Right. Yeah. Okay, so I...

No, keep going because then I ran this by a few people to see what their take was on it. So we did a focus group. The first thing I do is say, Paige. Paige. I text her twice just saying, Paige, Paige. I screenshot to her and she goes, wait, what? I had previously taken an edible pill.

So I'm reading this and I'm like, there's no way Hailey Bieber DM'd Hannah. I went to Hailey's Instagram. I was like, this is a different picture. This is a stan account. She's stupid. I fell asleep. Yeah. I go, I posted a video about the Hillsong cult. This is insane. Paige doesn't respond. Paige is now in another land living her life. And that's okay. Cause then Paige texts me the next day and goes, wait, I took an edible last night and couldn't fully process this. So Hailey Bieber hates us.

And I go, ha ha ha, no, just me. Because of this video. And I send the video. And you go, no, I'm crying. Why is this baby laughing so freaking hard? And you go, it's crazy that that's what she picked on the internet about her to be mad at. We just want to say, we just want to say, this is a Hailey Bieber stan account. Hailey Bieber stan account. Because we picked road over...

Whatever skin situation Kim is doing. I drank Hailey Bieber's smoothie. We love... I mean, Hailey Bieber is a full icon. A full icon. And also, if anyone messages her, Hannah and Paige were talking shit, we're not. We're not. We're just saying the facts and now I'm saying she was right. She was right. She was 100% right. Because...

I've recently in the last couple years realized there's a lot of you know snarky accounts yes that want to get follows by making fun of celebrities being mean to celebrities starting gossip about celebrities yeah and it's easy to get clicks yes I realized that a certain celebrity everyone who has followers is human and I never want to be the cause but I thought that Hailey Bieber was

Was big. Like, I'm kind of I think I'm a little harsh on Kim because I know Kim doesn't listen. You're going to say because I know Kim. And so, like, I can be. Kim gets me. Yeah. But they're on another level of fame. Yeah. But TikTok algorithms. Crazy. I was just going to say, let's look at the bright side.

You are in a supreme motherfucking algorithm on TikTok. Me, I'm on jail talk. Don't know what that says about me, but it's fine. Well, I joke that I'm shadow banned whenever it does bad. I think I'm shadow banned on Be Real. Anyway. I need to download Be Real. But this is the crazy part about it all. Yeah.

Because I was like, is she mad or is she just messaging me that it's insane? Because I didn't say anything bad about her. I kind of was like, that's crazy. I mean, my video made her sick. Right. Which like it made me sick. I mean, if we had a dollar, you know. But then I clicked on her page and she's following 112 people. Yeah.

And one of them is me. Hannah Lucy. Hannah Lucy. Okay. First of all, you didn't tell me that part of the story. That's pertinent to the entire story. I just found that out. I just found that out. So she wasn't mad at you. The girl you had on your podcast, dead to her. I threw that bitch under the bus so bad in my response. So tell me if this is a good response. Okay. It took me full day to come up with it.

And, okay, what would you call Hailey Bieber in the intro of the vid? Would you say, Hailey... Kind of creepy. Like, I don't know. You're not at, like, hails. Yeah. She called you girl. She called me girl. I was going to say girly, but, like...

Are we too old? Yeah, like that could be like cutesy. Like when people try and call you hun and you're like, don't fucking call me hun. Like it could have been taken like that. What would you use? What would you use? I probably would not have addressed her. I probably just would have said, hey. So I panicked and I went too far. I said, my love. No, no, no.

You started just praying to her. You were like, you are the most holy thing. I love my life. I guess I wanted to show like I'm coming with love and light. This message is coming with love and light. I should have started it with love and light. I go, I just deleted that wild video. And I wrote LOL. What? I can't even. When I write LOL. And then I wrote, I threw Claire under the bus. I go, I'm so sorry. My guest. My guest?

literally took acid before she came on my podcast. I had nothing to do with it. I had no idea who that woman was. She just took the microphone and I go, I said, I'm so sorry. My guests love talking about crazy conspiracies and I, I,

I should not have. I the innocent one. I should not have pressed the button. I should not have pulled the trigger. I had my guest put all the bullets in the gun. Should not have given this woman a platform to speak. By the way, she has an incredible podcast called Celebrity Memoir Book Club. Check it out. Honestly, it's very interesting. So then I go, you are an iconic legend. And I'm so sorry that video caused you any drama.

I said, keep killing the game and stay away from sex cults. LOL. Upside down smiley face. Wait, I think risks were taken. I kind of think it was beautiful. Because I didn't, I could have sent like a whole paragraph to her about like objectifying women. I could have also been quick and like not creepy and just be like, boo, you're right. Thank you, heart. She has not responded. Right. Do you think, did she see it?

I don't think so, but I also don't know how TikTok messages works. But it's been three days. And you know what? At first I was like, it's crazy she even messaged me. It's less crazy that she hasn't responded. 1000%. Look, moral of the story, you and Haley are friends. And, you know, TikTok did that. And I'm appreciative. The universe is so fucking small. If she was mad, she wouldn't be following you.

Or she just, I was going to think, oh, she doesn't know, but she only follows 112 people. She only follows elite supreme. She only follows her family and me. Cream of the crop. You're literally going on the next family vacation. I'll keep you guys posted. Also, Jenny McCarthy followed me. Oh my God. You're just crushing the game. It just makes the world seem so fucking small. And I've also realized like...

Even big celebrities are people too. I know. And people really are so mean. And so like before we do front page news. I mean, we're pretty good. No, we actually are really good. Like, like we were giving love to Leo Michelle last last episode. That was like philanthropy. And people were saying she can't read. And we were like, this is a Leo Michelle Stan account. I go, Paige can't read. Yeah. We were like, hello? Hello?

We started a new rumor so that her rumor would stop. But I do have to say the whole thing made me a little sad. Why? Because I thought there was a point in fame where maybe you were like impervious. Yeah. Oh my God. Good use of impervious. Never used that word before in my life. Don't know if it was correct in that sentence, but I'm pretty sure it was. Let's just go with it. We don't know.

But I felt, I, I hope she, you know, she did that video being like, leave me alone. Yeah. Everyone leave me alone. Yeah. That was towards me. Yeah. I feel like in the times that like I've scrolled Instagram and randomly I'll get to a video and it'll be like page just Sorbo. I'm like, no,

No, no, no, no, no, no. It's the worst feeling in the world. More times out of 10, I just scroll it. Like, I don't even, like, watch it. And if there's a lot of comments, I'm like, this has nothing to do with me. But also, a lot of the comments were just like, Hillsong is crazy. Lots of saying, like, there's a whole documentary out of it. Like, we weren't making up lies. But a lot of people were like, that's not...

Justin and Hailey And it's like valid They're not with Hillsong anymore Right And I showed the message To a few people And Did you show Ciara? Yeah It was the first thing I said to her When I saw her I go Oh my god You're gonna die Guess who DMed Tana No

And then... And then Haley did also ask me to, like, start a podcast with her, which was crazy. Shut the fuck up, Hannah. I'm coming, too. Like, if you think you're getting away from me, it's hilarious. And then I showed Craig, and he was the first person to say, I don't think she's mad. And I didn't even pick up on that. I was like, wait, why? And he was like, look at the emojis she used. Like, she's not... She just thinks it's crazy, and she...

I was like, but she said it made her sick. And he was like, okay. But now knowing that she follows you. Look, if you just, she did crying face that I use for laughing face. And then she did crying face slanted. Right. Diagonal. Like the slanted eye, like diagonal. Like where it's like, it looks like the eyes are like X's. Yes. But I would say I didn't ever see Hailey Bieber using that emoji.

I didn't see Hailey Bieber using any emojis. I didn't see Hailey Bieber using so many capital letters. I also just never saw Hailey Bieber DMing you. You go, no offense. Why you? Honestly. Why you? I felt like if it was going to be someone, it was going to be me. I did. I did say that to Des. I go, you know what the funniest thing is? Like, I love Hailey. I think she's an icon. But like, I have friends who like would wear her skin.

myself included if i could skin her and wear her like last year's versace i would get a box cutter and do it but overall because people i don't want hailey now to be like oh my god i dm this girl now she's talking shit about me on a pod again what i want to use this for is to say we don't appreciate how relevant yeah hailey has been to our culture yeah like even the last month like

She has the most famous smoothie. She has the most famous nail. Everyone's getting these pearl nails. Everyone gets the Hailey nail. People literally in New York go say, can I have the Hailey Bieber nail? I feel like she's one of the most influential style icons of our generation. Wow. No, seriously. I think over Kendall, for sure. Because I think she actually really cares about fashion. And knowing that half the time she doesn't even have a stylist. That's just her putting outfits together. Yeah, she like...

It was in the news that she had like fired her stylist. She did. A couple months ago. She sometimes works with a different one. She sometimes works with the old one. But like mainly she's doing her own outfits. And I think, you know, you can also be like everyone does their own outfits every single day. But like she dresses so cool. She changes trends. She creates the trend that we all then copy. And that says something. I feel like she kind of normalized the like.

slick bun are you kidding yes the whole reason people do slick back parted in the middle of buns is because of hayley bieber she basically started the low rise trend we don't love her for that but she looks great in it she she definitely started like doing the cargo pants yes yeah you know what what upset me about all this not only that she was low-key mad at me but also i was like why are you wasting your time with me

Right? You're like, you're so much better than this, like me being a troll on Instagram. This. But I hope she read it and I hope she was like, cool. And shout out to Haley. We love you so much. And I want to formally apologize for my video causing you any stress. I sometimes my guests is like, they're crazy. No, I love conspiracies. And sometimes, yeah.

Like we might lean too hard. I do think that her and Justin are... I don't know anything about them. So I can't make assumptions like that. Probably think they're great. But I do think that she's like...

icon she also talks about having anxiety a lot and i feel like that alone makes you a giggler exactly the gigglers have so much anxiety and this message from her was like an anxiety thought for sure yeah for sure side note low-rise jeans i had like a premonition okay i'm gonna start getting belly button rings again well i saw this other thing i forget what it was it was either a tiktok or it was like on like a women's wear daily thing i can't remember

But it was like, okay, so the Y2K trend is really in right now and like the very girly, like basically looking like a teeny bopper sometimes. Yeah. The next trend that's going to be really big is like,

literally what happened after that trend in the 2000s. So it's going to be a lot of layers, a lot of like grunge, a lot of oversized like bomber jackets. Are guys going to spike their hair and bleach it? I don't know. But it's going to be very like 2000s, but like the other side of it. So not as like girly and poppy. Also, speaking of celebrities influencing culture,

Kim Kardashian and Kylie both posted like make Instagram Instagram again. We just we don't want to see videos. We want to just see our friends looking cute. Right. Photos. Right. And.

Kylie Jenner, they say, is kind of the catalyst for... New social media. Snapchat. Yep. Going to shit when she's like, Snapchat's lame, LOL. And it, like, lost, like, millions of dollars in stock. Yeah, she posted, like, does anyone even use Snapchat anymore? And they lost, like, $1.8 billion. You're done. So, basically, they posted that about Instagram. So...

Everyone's like, oh, Instagram is now immediately shifting more towards photos. But then Instagram put something out and they were like, no, like we hear you. We get it. We don't care. Like basically like we're smarter than you. We're not like changing it. Yeah.

You think what you're on the apps for and like TikTok, I like seeing strangers try to make me laugh or like give me random information where Instagram, like I want to see like what my friends are working on and what they're doing and what their vibe is. Yeah. I want to see like aesthetically pleasing things on Instagram. Like Instagram.

Pictures of outfits, pictures of like people's vacations, pictures of like I wanted to go back to like a picture of a plate of pasta that has 27 filters on it. Like that is the vibe that I want. That has a border. Yeah. And then she's like, why has a border? And the caption is like, yum. Like, I don't.

I don't need all these videos. I go to TikTok for that. So I downloaded Be Real. Okay. What do you think? Like, what's the vibe on there? Because I was, like, so confused by when you told me about it last week that I was like, I have to see it for myself. I get it now where it's, like, fun to see your friends, like, basically look like shit. And it's good for your mental health to be like, oh, like, even though Paige is, like, still posting photos from her Italy vacation, she's not there anymore. And she actually is, like, watching Netflix. Whoa.

Don't make me DM Haley and be like, everything that bitch said was a fucking lie. Wait, you didn't really go, I am so sorry, my crazy friend. No, she's so crazy. She's so obsessed with you. Gross. You start bonding with her over talking shit about me. She doesn't like apple pies. What a sicko. I guess she doesn't even wash her face. So, like, she wouldn't care about your skincare routine. I also bought Rode lip gloss. Before or after she...

It came for you. Before. Oh, okay. I bought it to try it. Is it like an oil? It was stickier than I thought it would be.

Oh my god, strike two, Hannah. Strike two. I have to keep it real. I have to keep it real. Okay, so you download BeReal. What do you think? Oh yeah, I download BeReal. And you'll press, like take a photo of me and it like pauses for a sec. So I'll also look. And they tell you if you... It's a snitching app. They snitch on you if you take...

redo your photo they also snitch on you if you're late so i'll get notifications like girls no job is four hours late to her photo but then i'm waiting around no one's asked me to take a photo how many friends do you have on be real i don't know but i think it's just like four actual friends like for me i looked i i'm just adding friend friends can you be in different groups oh okay i just realized it to view people's be reals you have to post yours

So like right now it's like blurry and it says like post to see theirs. But like I'm going to be honest. Does it have to be a picture of you? No. So what it does is when you post it, it shows what you look like and what you're looking at. Oh my God. So like it would show right now if I took it, it would show me and then like my computer in front of me and my podcast equipment. She's an entrepreneur working gal.

It's definitely not an app, I feel like, if you're single and trying to date. Or it's good to be like... Because the basis of dating is lying. Yeah. Like, if you want someone to love you, don't be yourself on this app. For at least the first three months. Yeah. So be real. Like, people are into it, but my hypothesis is...

even though we talk shit on TikTok before and now it's great is that like it's going to be cool for a bit but then people are going to be like okay I want to look hot again I think TikTok's the great in between I don't even remember the days that we talked shit on TikTok well when we first started Giggly Squad we were like wow those dances are crazy like I could never yeah that's true I feel like I see way less dances I've tailored my algorithm to be like not me not now

I think also people wanted... People aren't just, like, home all day to, like... Make up dances. Learn these fucking dance moves. Like, people have to pay taxes. But some people don't. And some people don't. And talk about a transition. This is why they pay us the big bucks. Look how we did that. Hello. What is going on with her? She basically... Girly. They're saying... The Spanish government is saying that she...

Tax fraud for like $15 million. Not a small sum, Shakira. Not a small sum. She's denying all of it, saying she wasn't even in Spain when half of the... They're saying like all of this money wasn't calculated correctly, like whatever. She's living your nightmare. She's living my literal nightmare. The amount of people that have DM'd me about it being like, ha ha ha, you're next. I'm like, that's not great. Thank you so much. People kept messaging me being like, LOL Paige. I was like, guys, if hundreds of people...

will manifest this I'm not gonna be fucking happy about it you guys have manifesting power too and no you've literally power comes great responsibility you guys made me shit in the street you literally made me shit in the street that was a growing and a learning lesson for you she could face up to eight years when she did her whole um Super Bowl thing yeah I already heard murmurs that she was in trouble she's been dealing with this for five years

So what does face prison mean? Like, is that just clickbait? Is that like Jen Shaw? Like she, the judge could sentence her to up to eight years. Cause she's been convicted. She hasn't been convicted yet, but, but anyone checked on Jen Shaw?

here's the thing when it comes to like Bravo Liberties and going to jail I feel like like when we know they're definitely gonna go to jail we kind of like ease up on them like we know that she's going to jail Erica should just go to jail and that would be a great storyline she'd get less bad press I feel like people would be less mean to her do you remember when Teresa did a full on spinoff remember when she did a coming back from prison a spinoff

She had like a couple episodes as a special. Remember when Teresa did a full on photo shoot in jail and I live and die by that photo. Absolutely. I think Shannon Ford sent it to us in a group chat.

yes she i don't know what the context of that was either no i don't think there was a photo of her she was like girlies let's go out and it was like theresa in jail with like all of her jailmates and it was just so perfect and i was like interesting who's the theresa of the group oh yeah theresa's daughter is looking at colleges guess where she's looking go badgers wisconsin

Yeah, damn, Teresa. I was like, let me know if you need any information on Wisconsin. Because I did go 15 years ago and they still know me. Get over it, you frat boy. Go Badgers, though.

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Giggly. Go Badgers. Paige, it's August. It's my birthday month. It's Leo season. Oh, right. Ugh.

oh god when's your birthday again august 12th fuck i gotta remember that yeah you were like you this is the great thing about page she will send flowers for the littlest thing i'll be like i did not shit myself in the toilet today and you'll send me flowers and they're like gorgeous gargantuan gorgeous flowers i think just to remind everyone that she's has taste you know

Because when you walk, I was like, where'd you get that? And then you're always like Paige. And you're like, why? And you're like, no, for her own ego. And then I'm just kidding. To be like, hey, I'm a good fucking friend. But yeah, when it comes to birthdays. We have big, my birthday doesn't matter. I'm turning 31. I literally could give less of a shit about it. Yeah. However, your birthday is big. I know. In November. Yeah.

I don't really, I don't want to talk about it. Okay. Okay. This is safe space. Yeah. I don't know. Here's the thing. I don't know how I feel about it. I'm partly excited to turn 30 and I'm partly like, I'm partly sad about it. Yes. Cause like turning 27, 28, 29, you're just like, whatever. Close to 30. When you're actually turning 30, it's like,

hold on it's also like reframe your perspective of like you made it to 30 and you did it to fucked up dude no no no no no no no so many i wonder how many will reach out to me and say happy 30th i forgot to tell you and i shouldn't say this on the pod but i will in a random comedy green room some woman walks in and she's like oh my god my cousin used to date page stop like her cousin

Yeah. Say the name and if I need to cut it out, I'll cut it out. First name. Oh, jail man. Is he jail man? Yeah. Jail man's aunt said that you're stronger for it. And I was like, but he's six five. Anyway.

Anyhow. You wrote my eyebrows in FaceTime. What's happening? I have a conspiracy theory that I really only like, I do love my eyebrows. I'm going to this new eyebrow place and they've done wonders, but I've realized that my eyebrows look the best in FaceTime. Okay.

And that is because I only look at myself in FaceTime. And if you don't look at yourself in FaceTime and you look at the other person, I have nothing in common with you. No. I was FaceTiming Craig and I was looking at myself and I was just like, I look so good. I will change the angle like every three seconds. Yeah. Like I'm on a photo shoot.

To the point now that when I do look at Craig's face on FaceTime, he thinks I'm scrolling my phone because he's so used to where my eyes are on the screen when I'm looking. Does he call you out? Like, are you on your phone? Yeah, he's like, you're on your phone. You're not even listening to me. And I go, I'm literally staring at you. He goes, that's not where your eyes always are because I'm usually looking at my damn cell. Also, when guys FaceTime, they have the worst angle. Like, I will get the ick if I look at you during FaceTime. Like, they hold it right under their chin.

Yeah. Craig's pretty good about it because he's pretty vain as well. Oh, he holds it above? I don't... He just, like, holds it normal. But we did this new thing as a couple, too, that I felt was very constructive. And I felt...

I love that. And, and,

And also give it with like an asterisk. Like I'm going to tell you something that is an intrusive thought. I know it's crazy, but I need to let it out. And so I started saying some of my intrusive thoughts and Craig went silent for a second. And I was like, oh my God, this was too much. And then he said, I've thought the same exact thing. And it was almost like immediately the intrusive thought became...

Like not a thing anymore. Nothing I would ever worry about because I was like, you do. And he was like, yes, I'm a human. Obviously, like I've thought about that. And like that would be a crazy outcome or like was it like a relationship type of intrusive thought? Like that had some of them were relation. Some of them. Yes. Some of them are absolutely relationship based. That's and that's vulnerable. It was very vulnerable. Yeah.

And then I went to sleep that night and I had horrible dreams that he cheated on me with this blonde girl wearing a tennis outfit. And for some reason, we were all in a hospital. Anywho, it took a weird turn. You got mad at him? It definitely took a weird turn.

Wait, but I mean, that is beautiful. And it says something about your relationship, though, that you even feel comfortable enough to try that. And I was like, what a mental health moment. I love that so much. Yeah. I will say some intrusive thoughts about like,

my career maybe where des because he's lived it already will be like yeah i used to think that too like it's normal but then he'll be like don't think that though and i'm like okay well i have to like i have to because you have but sometimes talking it out you're just like oh but when you say it's like journaling it's like journaling with someone you say it out loud you realize how insane it sounds

It was basically like we cheated on like not having a journal. And that's so us. Because honestly, journals aren't bad for the environment. They seriously are. You said Taylor Swift is getting attack for her environmental jets. Oh, yeah. When it was like she took like 170. There was like a meme that it was like who leaked Taylor Swift's like flight itinerary. And it was just a picture of Kris Jenner. Yeah.

I know that if I had a private jet, I would take it to the fucking grocery store. Like, I get it. Like, I just think there are bigger things that we could... Anyone want Starbucks? I think there are bigger things that we could do to help the environment other than, like, freaking out about private jets. You know, bring back the straw situation, you know? Let's take the straws away again. Someone was, like, me sipping on a, like, wet paper straw while looking at Taylor Swift's jet itinerary. So when I was in Montserrat Hall,

I was in the airport. You know how they have the duty-free shit? Yeah. And they have tons of perfumes. Yeah. And growing up, my Nana used to collect really beautiful perfume bottles and have it all decorated around her bathtub. It was gorgeous. Yeah. So I always thought of perfumes as so regal, but I'm trash. Not for me. Yeah.

I decided to start smelling all these. I'm like, oh, what is this? You're like a Bath and Body Works plastic spray kind of bitch. I actually never... I wanted to know from you, like, I don't use perfume partially because it makes me nauseous sometimes. Like, it could be so strong. And also people fall in love with your natural pheromones. But I do use deodorant. Do you... What's your perfume game? Like, what's the cool girl perfume thing? I have never been big in the perfume game in terms of, like...

Oh, my God. This is my signature scent. Why do you sound like Luann just then? Darling, this is my signature scent. Darling, this is what I smell like. But so like anytime I get like a perfume and like a gifting, like a PR gifting thing, I'm like, fuck yeah, like a new perfume. I can't tell you the last time I went to the store and bought a perfume. Mm-hmm.

I used to have a perfume by Le Labo that was really good. Right now, I'm using, like, a Baccarat because I got it, like, gifted. I have no idea. When do you wear perfume? Like, when you go out to dinner? I wear perfume every single day. And one of my girlfriends used to work for Becca Cosmetics. And she was, like, one of the... Not scientists, but she worked on, like, a lot of, like, formulas. And she said the way to get perfume to really stick...

is you have to when you get out of the shower and like say you lotion or say you don't lotion doesn't really matter whatever you spray your perfume on your actual skin and putting it on your wrists and rubbing it together does nothing like do not do that spray it on your actual skin let it like dry into your skin if you spray it on your clothes it doesn't really give the same effect as it should so i that is one tip that i have for perfume what kind of scent do you lean towards

I don't like anything floral. I'm not a huge floral girl. I kind of save that for my candles, I think. I like a fresh smell. Like fresh, clean laundry. Yeah. Or a vanilla that's not too overpowering. Yes, I agree. I'm the same way. I agree. Florals aren't for me. I did smell...

The female Burberry one was kind of good. And then Burberry Brit, I think it's called. Maybe. That's like the one I really liked. And then I was with this guy who was like, let's smell some Tom Ford's. That shit was... Ooh, Tom Ford's are good. It was like pure tobacco. It smelled like... Like it was like intense. Do you ever like smell a smell that reminds you of an axe? All the time. Yeah.

every day literally can't even walk outside hits you in the face every time i pass trash on the street i'm like oh what have i texted um that was amazing that was fucking amazing but yes there are like this is gonna sound so weird but there's this like paco ruban cologne that if i smell it i immediately think of like miami and like fighting with my boyfriend in a club like it's

It's so uncomfy. It's so amazing. But Montreal, you guys, thank you for all the support. It was amazing. But I do have to say, I walked past Joe Coy. Oh my God. Like, I walked past him. Yeah. And Chelsea Handler was there as well. Chelsea Handler was there. There was like a whole award ceremony with like Chelsea Handler, Amy Schumer. And I like slept through it or something, which I'm annoyed at, but it's okay. But like Joe Coy, not the tallest, handsome. Yeah. And also like,

One of the top grossing comedians passed around. He also was like getting tattoos with comics. He's like getting tattoos now. So I think either a cry for help or something very artsy of him. I think she ended it. Interesting. I think that she was like unable to receive the love. And that's why, you know, you're just complimenting them. You're like, they were just they were so great. But like, yeah, I just they were they were amazing. That's what happened, I think.

Wow, I called that all wrong. I thought because she was crying, he ended it with her and she was very emotional about it. How many times have you cried when you did not want someone to get mad at you? I've cried during every time I broke up with a man. I cried. That's the only way to do it. Because what's it going to do? Get mad at you while you're sobbing? I'm going to tell you something. And this might be on brand and it might be off brand. And I'm not sure what it is.

I have broken up with every single boyfriend I've ever had. Same. And that's just being a boss ass bitch. Paige, that's crazy. I've broken up with every like official relationship. It's the ones that aren't official that get a little hazy. Okay, that's dicey. Those, you always lose. Those don't count. Not one time in the actual final act of breaking up. Now, the months leading up, the weeks leading up, the days leading up, cry like a baby. Can't get it together.

But it's really you're crying because you know change is coming, not because you care about that person. Really, that person is awful. The actual act of the last time you speak to that person. You're cold.

cold as ice. Like I'm done. I've, I've already mourned this. I've already figured this plan out. Gotta go. It takes you a lot longer to make decisions than me. I'm a little more impulsive and like where you will sit on something for decades. I will wait to the very last possible moment. Like I will,

will be that girl that at my wedding i'm gonna be putting the dress on i'm gonna be like you know what it's so crazy i gotta go get a starbucks and i'm out like i just i'm gone i know that to be i feel like sometimes you wait for life to like fully fully let you know you're done with something yeah where i'll get like one i'm like what about one more sign yeah yeah you're literally that bitch that unless a sign smacks you in the face you're like i'm not sure

Where, like, I'll get one weird feeling in my stomach and I'm like, I'm out. I'm fucking out. Yeah, that is so you. I remember once I was dating this football guy. We were together for, like, six months, but, like, it wasn't official. And then we... Yep. Whatever. You ever have a guy best friend that you're like, why do I like being around you so much? Yeah. Like, I was excited when he texted me, but I never thought of, like, hooking up with him. I never thought of it. Oh, okay. But I just...

yeah but finally i was like look i'm going after these like douchey athletes like why don't i like be with a nice guy like this guy's my best friend i'm like do i like him and then finally i think we were like let's give it a try and like four days in i was like nope can't do it i was with him for like four days i don't think i even told you that's first of all fuck you second of all i couldn't even

Like think of someone in my brain that that could even be. You kept this guy under wraps. He was a short king. I went from 6'7 to 5'7 and this guy was like so awesome. Like he's like husband material.

Sierra said a really funny thing the other day and someone was trying to like set her up on a date and she was like, I am done with these over six foot men. I need to be able to look a man in the eye now. Like she was like, I want to look at this motherfucker because I don't trust what they're doing. I'm going to look into their soul because I don't know what's going on with the atmosphere up there, but it's not good.

That is so funny. But yeah, I think like we hooked up and immediately I just was like, I'm going to get distracted by other people. Like, you know, like in the very beginning, you're not obsessed with them.

Yeah. And you're never going to be like if I'm not obsessed with you in the first meeting. I'm I know I'm not going to but for some reason I want to keep trying but just not going to happen. Yeah. And I did sleep through our Valentine's Day. Like I took a nap and like forgot we had it like I was doing. I have zero recollection of this. I know. I didn't I don't talk about it a lot because it was sad because the friendship is like never really the same after. What? Have you ever seen him again?

yeah but he lives in la but are you not aware was i in a coma for like six months that i don't remember basically i just remember feeling horrible and i walked in and i was sobbing so hard like i couldn't breathe and the whole time they just comfort you and then you leave um one here another toxic thing about me yeah let's make that a segment another toxic thing about me yeah

I don't think I've ever broken up with someone in person. That is the most fucked up thing I've ever heard in my life. Like years long. Really? I've had like three to four years long. Yeah, I wrote. No. Okay. No, no. I did one in person in a parking lot. Do you know why? But you know why you're not that toxic? Because think about it. If you're about to go break up with someone, what do you do? Go on a date?

Yeah, like, well, how am I going to finagle this? Hey, let's go. Let's talk. No. Uber all the way to his place to sit down, like, or go to a public place. No. So it actually is the safest way. He's lucky I didn't send it in an email. You know, my one that I did over the phone was because the guy lived in Queens. And that's valid. Which, like, honestly gave me the ick from the beginning. Yeah.

Great Greek food, though. Great Greek food in Queens. My toxic trait is that I love ghosting. I ghost. If we've been on less than two dates and I don't want to do it, I'm not giving you a full breakup text about why you're not my soulmate. No. Just move on. Because that takes energy from me. Unless we've three dates, I probably do like a slow fade. And it's because I hate disappointing people. I'm fine.

just had a vision of like you breaking up with someone and sending like you know and you can like hire people to go to people's door and like sing a song wait there should be a go a like breakup company where you just tell them to do it for you oh my god hannah should we start that we should start pranking we should start pranking people you send them the contact and you go hey hannah wants that to let you know this

because it's less painful they do it it's like checking off the list you know you go on five hinge dates in a week at the end you send them all those five numbers be like hey just wrap this up for me thank you imagine we pranked craig and we just like sent one of these people to his front door and like broke up with him and then recorded it to see like what he did imagine we had sorry that's so sinister oh my god he would literally cry if he just heard me say that should we just start a prank show but the only person we prank is craig

And he like doesn't catch on to it. It's like season three. And he's like, you guys pranking me? I, Hannah, no, I need a prank show so badly. And I need us to be sitting in a trailer like MTV Next style and like in people's ears and just being like, just go up to them and hand them an egg and say, can you hold this? Like, I just want to do like weird things. I would absolutely die. Oh my God, my B-Roll just went off. I'm manifesting that.

Oh, see, Be Real just goes, Ally Mack just posted late. Like, snitching. Oh my god, they blow you up. Sorry, I'm really popular on Be Real. Giggling in bed brought to you by Mattress Firm. Sometimes sleeping next to your boyfriend or girlfriend is the most amazing experience ever. It's so lovely to watch them be so peaceful. Except when they're snoring so loud. And I think to myself, how are you even sleeping because you're ruining my day?

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Also, have you heard of... I like almost got a cosmetic procedure.

Which one? I heard of this thing called lip blushing. Have you heard of it? No. Why do you say it like that? Because I just like what lips? Okay so lip blushing is this thing I feel like people come at me online saying I don't

put chapstick on even though i do all the time oh okay my lip color is like very similar i thought this was gonna be something sexual i don't know why i went there oh you thought i meant labia lip yeah i was like what if i haven't heard it it's for your actual lips there's just no way in hell you literally go oh no and i'm like what is this crazy like i just want to like put some tint on my lips

Okay. It's for my labias. I'm going to be vlogging your vagina soon. Okay. My labias are for later. So it's called lip blushing. They have, it's like you get injected with something or like. I think it's like basically a semi-permanent like one year lip tattoo. Okay. Where they like, you can kind of pick a color and they kind of dye your natural lip a

color they have okay why don't you first try the lipsticks that they have that do that it's like a lip gloss that goes on blue you leave it on and then you peel it off and it's like a rosy red color and it lasts I want to say it only lasts maybe a day or two but I think try that first well this is the thing I was just having fun because I'm in my you know buying everything mode right now and I'm you're in your maximum you're in your maximal yes maximalist mode

maximal but then i was looking and i don't feel like it looks that good on people because in send me like some people who have done it like in theory i thought it's from tiktok that i thought i thought like oh lip blushing that would be great because like my mom would always be like the only thing i want you to do is put something on your lip when you go out yes it looks good on and like it does make my lips look great when i put color on it but then i was you have the best lips in the game maybe that's why hayley bieber followed you because she can recognize

A well chiseled lip Paige Wait you're talking about my labia or my other lip Which lip Your actual lip I This is actually so funny One I don't think I've ever seen your vagina Which makes me Not trust me Uncomfortable Yeah like I feel weird about it You've never seen my uneven labia No But I saw Sierra's vagina this weekend For the first time Cause she was like changing to get in the shower And I was like so And I called attention to it You bet I did Yeah

I said, so weird. I've never seen your vagina before, which is kind of crazy. But also, that is exactly what I pictured your vagina to look like. And she was like, I don't know if I love the second comment. This bitch, if her body couldn't have gotten better, she has a Barbie doll vagina. It literally looks like she has one little slit. And God was just like, oh, we forgot to put a vagina on her. Let's make it so small and dainty.

And honestly, it pissed me off. I got really annoyed by it. And now I'm thinking about like who of my friends have I not seen their vaginas and I've never seen yours. I'm like kind of shy about showing my vagina to people like. Okay, weird. Not long enough who have been like, look at my pussy. I'm a little bit prude sometimes with that. But like we've seen each other nipples like nonstop. I could literally draw your nipple if someone handed me a marker right now.

But, yeah, I'm just trying to think. Like, have we've changed in front of each other? Okay, we'll do a YouTube video. We've showered in front of each other. Yeah. But I've never looked at your vagina. And, like, I don't know what that says about me, what it says about you. I feel like I've seen your vagina, but I haven't seen it from, like, an under angle. I didn't see hers from an under angle either. Let me just put that out there. I'm like, you didn't sit on my face. I didn't investigate it.

But I was just like, what a thing that like girls do. But the funniest part is like how much have I even seen my own vagina? I avoid her. I am pretty in there. I'm pretty in the know of what's going on with mine. And like I look at it a lot, see if everything's copacetic. This is how little I know about my vagina. I accidentally got a landing strip because I like missed a part.

okay when i was shaving i missed a part looked in the mirror and i go do i have a full-on landing strip no bitch you're bad at shaving yeah you that i that i know yeah you miss your knees it's like the focal point okay so i miss my knees imagine the crevices in my vagina yeah i don't want to get under there there's like one like long hair always like

Once you have a permanent perfume that you've picked out, then I'll feel comfortable looking at your vagina. That's our friendship. If you even want me to look at your vag, you need to do some things first. I also feel like no one's asked to look at mine. And that's making me feel a certain type of way. Like Sierra wasn't like, oh, I thought about yours too. Girls talk a lot about boobs. I feel like we can touch each other's boobs. We look at each other's boobs. We talk about our boobs. Yeah.

And like I've seen your and Sierra's boobs. And but like, wouldn't it be weird if I took my shirt off and like turned away? Like, I feel like that's insulting. That's highly insulting. Yeah. You're not spreadigling your vagina with girls. Correct. Wow. That was a motherfucking. So I don't think I'm going to get my lips blushed. No. Like the colors looked kind of off. Like and it's like, what if I try the lipstick? It's on Tick Tock.

Yeah, another thing. Finally, Britney Spears.

Oh my God. Britney Spears posted a video on Instagram that this was the first time she had ever gone to a bar. She was with like her assistant and she was like, I feel so fancy and all this stuff. And I feel so bad for Britney Spears because obviously she went through something so traumatic. I basically feel like she was abducted and kept in captivity and like stopped men emotionally growing up. And so she like at the age in which she knew Britney.

like shit started happening is like the age she stopped developing because like, yeah. How old is she? Well, like the first trauma freezes you to getting famous freezes you and trauma freezes you. I feel like she's literally like 14 years old and it's so, I feel so sad for her. Like,

She is probably going through such crazy emotions to like work through everything she went through. And also, you know that there's tons of people throwing money at her to be like, do an interview, do a book, do this. So she's like has to navigate that. Yeah, for sure. Neo has been cheating on his wife for eight years, but I don't. I don't know. She said everyone. She was like cheating lies and deception. And this is my question. If a dude's cheating on you for eight years.

I'm posting an inspirational quote on Instagram. I know the quote too. It's like, what's meant for you? We'll find you. Guys, if I start posting inspirational quotes, check on me. One time I posted an inspirational quote, immediate text from my mom. Is everything okay? I said, so it worked. Actually, no. Inspirational quotes are for like your DMs, like between my friends. I'll send them like, oh, this made me think of you. But like once you're posting to the public, it's like,

What's going on, boo? Yeah, something's going on. It's kind of how I feel about crying on Instagram stories. Not me. Not now. Not ever. Yeah. Cry when you're trying to break up with your boyfriend and you don't want him to get mad at you. Right. Finally, I will watch the Shania Twain documentary. I got behind because I was in Montreal. Thank you.

Two, I have a show. Okay. You're going to kill me, but it's literally the best show I've ever watched. What is it? It's called Dark and it's on Netflix. And when I tell you it has like apocalypse, nuclear energy, romance. Is it scary? Is it what? Scary? No, not scary. It's more like...

interesting fascinating a little bit creepy scripted affairs scripted okay it's in german no no no now it is the craziest thing i've ever watched but you can't watch your phone

Okay, so you read it. You don't have it dubbed. No, no, no. I don't dub. Oh, no. But you just, you have to read it. And this could be a good exercise to be like, I'm off my phone for three hours. The show Dark on Netflix is so good. We have to do a poll because I'm so interested on the Giggly Squad Instagram. If people, when they watch shows that originate in different languages, do they watch it dubbed over with American sounds or do they read the subtitle? I just feel like the American sound, the actors are always shite.

Like they're like, oh no, where are you going? The only other language that I subscribe to is Love Island. People really liked your Love Island impersonation last episode. Two new bombshells enter the villa.

It's my whole personality. And with that, thank you guys for giggling with us. We love you so much. We're going on the road. Check our link in our bio. We have road dogs and we have, we have really good merch coming out. Just keep an eye out. Oh my God. Love you guys. Bye.