Giggling about losing our virginity, ruining lives, and overcoming fears
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I mean the day just got away from me. What's up Notorious G-I-G's? Oh that's a good one. That was actually Giggler D on me. She was like hey. Do I and the Gigglers put a lot of pressure on you every time you open the pod or do you feel like it's natural? I feel like pressure is a privilege and it's an honor for me to try to come up with a stupid intro but that was not my idea.

Put that on a motherfucking t-shirt. Pressure makes diamonds. Pressure makes diamonds. Pressure is a privilege. This is from being in sports too long. I just know a lot of random quotes. I have a question because this just literally made me think of it because I was talking about this with a bunch of girls and I feel like you who is like not into engagement rings...

But, like, now you are because you're engaged. You got forced to be engaged even though you didn't know anything about it. As, like, the girliest girl on the planet, the only thing I don't know about is engagement rings. Like, I don't know anything about, like, anything in general. But I was talking to a bunch of girls and we were talking about this one girl who got engaged. But her ring was massive. Yeah.

But it was synthetic, which I don't really know what that means. Oh, it's a lab grown? Yes. Okay. Okay.

Would you rather have a smaller engagement ring that's real diamond or a bigger one that's lab grown? So great question. Apparently lab grown diamonds, you can't tell the difference between lab grown and like a real diamond except that lab growns sometimes are a little too perfect where there's like not one little error in it. That's like the only way people tell the difference and it's like half the price compared

But basically, I think people like the tradition of a real diamond, even though they can't tell the difference. I'll be honest with you. Fuck me up with a lab grown. Really? I'm cheap. But Des was not about it. Des was like, you're getting a real diamond. I'm not about it. Okay. I am so not about it. I want to do a thing with you where you have to pick which one is lab and which one is not. I mean...

I won't be able to tell. I wouldn't know. But I'd rather have a smaller engagement ring that is real.

than a larger one to impress people that I know is not real. But the thing is, it is real. It was just made through science versus the Earth's... I don't fucking know how diamonds are made, okay? I don't either. I don't either. I have no idea. But I will tell you this. If Gigglers don't stop sending me pictures of their motherfucking pear engagement rings, being like, how dare you? I'll lose my mind.

So one giggler messaged me and she was like, hey, I might be thinking too deep into this, but are you pregnant? Wow. She was like, you said you were like a little sick and then you said you missed your birth control. And I was like, am I pregnant? But no, I'm not pregnant. I'm not. Did you take a pregnancy test? No, but I just I'm not like my boobs. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? Who hasn't? That's true. Actually, there are girls that haven't. And I'm going to tell a really funny story right now about being pregnant. Not that I ever have been pregnant.

Nothing against being pregnant. Nothing against pregnant people. Absolutely not. Please don't come for me. When we were in high school and had sex for the first time, of course I was like, I'm pregnant. It's happened. It's happened. God knows that this wasn't right and my mom's going to find out.

We used to go to the CVS, the corner near my house, right next to a McDonald's. And that's where all of my girlfriends would take their pregnancy tests in the McDonald's. So then we could throw out. You had a full on Planned Parenthood in the McDonald's? We were running appointments through there. You had paperwork you had to fill out before going in. And then we'd be like, okay, we're all negative. You want fries? If you're positive, you ought to get nuggets.

That is so funny, but I also do want to say I've been thinking a lot about... I'm still thinking about sex life and the guy's schlong. It just hits me in the face in my dreams. I heard someone say that it was real, that was him. It is real, but I do have to say that movie is so wrong for so many situations, but I can't stop thinking about how he barely touches her in the elevator and she immediately orgasms and how bad that is for us. And just how they make it...

They make movies romanticize sex so much and you just brought up like losing your virginity. And it's like when we all lost our virginity for the first time, I remember being like... I was like, there's something wrong with my vagina. Like that was the worst thing I've ever experienced. And this is supposed to be the best thing in the world. It's funny. I can picture the moment that I lost. And like remember looking at him being like, no, no.

No. No. We give it back. I'm like, I don't, this, it's not for me. And then I didn't do it for like months after because I was like, this isn't what people talk about. So actually the first time I kind of had sex, my boyfriend like kind of put the tip in. And I was like, no. And then I was like, I lost it. Like I did not lose it. It wasn't even near my hymen. But he like put it in a little and I was like, oh, God.

You know what's so funny is that like people, it's just like so crazy perception versus reality. People think that you are like so bad and like naughty and like all these things. And in reality, you are probably such, you're such a goody two shoes. It's not even funny. Oh, just me specifically. You specifically. You specifically.

And it's just funny that people think, like, you would be out, like, partying until 4 a.m. Also, people think I'm this, like, fight with everyone person. I'm like, I'm so scared of confrontation. I cry. It makes you sweat. I just cry. Where I'm like, I will be out till 4 a.m., hold my hoops, I will fight a girl. If someone comes for me, Paige would, like, oh, my God, if we were in public, like, real life. I do have to say, also...

The fact that guys ever spread the rumor that, like, girls who have sex with different guys have, like, loose vaginas is so funny to me. Because the girls with actual boyfriends who were having sex every day are getting penetrated way more. And then further fucking more, it's like, calm down. Your 70 seconds of sex as a teenage boy with your little wimpy dick did not loosen anyone's vajay. Right.

precisely like your bad doggy that lasted maybe a minute did not affect anyone's vagina that could push out a full baby skull at one point in my life i will push out a fucking human a human will come out of me that's just your prepubescent peepee

Did not affect a girl's vagina. So all those girls who were worried about having loose vaginas when they were younger. There are times where like I will go a really long time without like sleeping with anyone because like, you know, my I hate mentor, which is like coming to an end, I feel like. And like I won't have sex for a while. And then I'll be like, wait, I'm probably 16 again. Good for you. Like.

Who's ever here next? Like, good for you. But, like, that's just in my head. It's, like, not a real thing. Oh, my God. Um...

We never plan these sexual conversations. Our notes are like having boundaries are sexy. That was my note. Sometimes I'll write things down and then I'll look back at it and be like, what was I going to say about that? Well, let's go to my next one, which is delivery people poisoning your food. That's what I wrote down. And you spelled it poisoning. Whatever.

I was sitting on my couch and I ordered... McDonald's. Whatever. I ordered takeout. And I don't know why this... Sometimes I have, like, the most cynical, crazy thoughts. And I'm just like, I'm like, what is this? And I've actually heard people call it, like, second brain, whatever. Like, where you're, like, on a balcony and you're like, what if I just jump? Intrusive thoughts. Yeah. I'm like, what if this guy just poisoned...

All of my food. Like we just trust restaurants and delivery people. What if a psycho just goes and gets a job at a restaurant and then poisons everyone? Sorry, I was just laughing. Like if the way I go is ordering everything on a McDonald's menu and then people see me and they're like, she ordered for a party of six.

And they give you all the forks because they assume you're having a full-on rager in your apartment. Oh, my God. But if I die with a chicken nug, I die with a chicken nug. That's how you go out? I die doing what I love.

Someone said to me the other day, like, aren't you scared about living in New York City? Like, what if there was a fire in your building? How would you get downstairs? Because I was like, I don't even know where my stairs are. OK, there are apartment complexes out of New York City. Right. I don't know why I was specific to New York. Maybe I added that. Maybe I made that part up. But I was like, if that's how I go, that's how I go. Who am I to fight fate?

Yeah, exactly. I even was joking about how guys like don't know how to choke sometimes in bed. Oh, yeah. Like they go full windpipe and it's like, then I'll end doing what I love. I don't know how they don't understand it. It's two fingers. It's a side. It's two fingers. Or even a little on the chest. Yeah. How horny are we?

But, oh, with my thing with boundaries are sexy now, I just remembered. Yeah. Someone was going on this rant just basically how, like, you setting boundaries is hot to people. It is. Like, you saying, I can't go out tonight. Like, because it will immediately deter the people who are not in it for the right reasons, bachelor style. And then it'll attract the people who want someone who, like, respects you.

I guess. I feel like she said it more fun, but... Look, I feel like I know how to play the dating game. Like, I know the rules. I know what to do. I just don't do them. Yeah. Like, I really feel like it's all in the chase. Like, if a guy feels like he has all of you, you've lost. I feel like Des felt like he had all of me because he literally did second date. Okay, so maybe it's different when you, like, meet your person. No, I think the chase...

You can literally trick anyone to chase you for six months, but like, is that worth it? Because I think it goes back to you can trick anyone to put you on a pedestal, but then eventually like you realize, oh, we aren't even, I don't even like this person. I don't even like them. Yeah. Yeah. Like their mom's texting you and you like don't even like the pattern of their breaths. I haven't gotten a mom text in a while.

I'm sorry. Okay. Also, my latest TikTok thing is girls who will ruin your life. Okay. And people are getting like really into it. But I think they think that I'm saying it's a bad thing when I say types of girls who ruin your life. But I think it's a compliment. I think it is too. I think you're dominant. How would you explain it? It means like you've made him like a little bitch. Basically. Yeah.

Like, basically... He's obsessed with you. And, like... They want you so bad. Like, they cry about you at night. Exactly. So, I said girls who put...

salt on everything like even stuff that's already salty okay i would encompass all condiments girls who are obsessed with condiments who fuck with condiments yeah yeah like you know when you can't eat something because it doesn't have the right condiment with like girls that travel like walk around town with like hot sauce in their bag like ketchup are diabolical because also those girls don't need no man they don't give a fuck

They have a kitchen sink in their bag and they will provide for themselves at all times. They're ready to party at any moment because they have a Heinz mini ketchup in their bag. Like, they're ready to go. Then I also said girls who have fake nails and, like, lose one and just don't care. Yeah. That's, like, a next level of confidence. For me, it's, like, when one is broken and I'm just, like, this is who we are. That's when you reach peak level of just security in yourself. Yeah. Which you're, like...

Say something about it. I said girls who actually like matcha. Straight Satan worshipers. I feel like you inspire so many of my things. I remember I like matcha and you're like, you sick fuck. And I'm like, maybe I am. I don't get people that I want to be one of those girls that has a matcha station in her apartment. Like I want to wake up and do yoga and like mix a matcha drink, but I'll just never be that girl.

Side note, I do think that TikTok is glamorizing the self-care wellness thing.

finding the person you love movement. And someone did a video where they were like, can we stop making like self-care so fucking like trendy? Cause self-care is also painful. Self-care is like facing your demons. Self-care is like crying about those things you've been like holding inside. Like self-care is ugly. Self-care could be like depression and people are like, I did was right in my journal and now I feel so much better with my perfect little pen. That it's real people that journal.

Like the thought of me sitting down at my desk and motherfucking writing in my diary. It's just not happening. Like it's not happening for me. And I look, I'm not knocking people that do like all these meditation things and journal and manifest like we love manifesting. But there's certain things that I'm just like, I'll probably never do that. And journaling is one of them.

So I did one page of a journal because my therapist told me to. And how'd it go? I immediately felt like I was the main character in a rom-com. Like, if I get a journal, I have to write Dear Diary in it. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw. Dear Diary. I actually, I used to buy all these journals and never write in them because I was so afraid of, like, what the first sentence would be and that anyone who would read it would judge me from that first sentence and be like, fucking lame. Yeah, like...

I don't... I feel like it was just in movies and TV shows. Like, were there girls that went home every single night and wrote, like, a full diary? Like, I need to know. I do think that journaling is actually really important because...

It gets your crazy thoughts out on paper and you see how it's... It is... There's something to it. I do think there's something to it. And it's not to just be like, this is what happened in my day. It's like, so you can look back and be like, wow, those are those emotions I went through and I've like... I get that. I get that. And it almost removes it from like a secret inside you to just like...

Having it out there. There's a method to the madness. I feel like I don't have to do that because all the crazy thoughts that I have in my head, like when I'm home alone, I just say them out loud. You know? So like I don't even like, I don't have to journal. There's certain things that I'll call my mom and say. And then like my real crazy thoughts, I'll just like be on my couch and be like, what if I...

What if I just... What if I... What if I... And mostly it's like, what if I text him right now and absolutely ruin the fun time he's having? Because I could do it. Well, you saying it out loud makes you realize how crazy it actually sounds. Yeah. Crazy. Or when it's just in your head, you're like, is it? Have you... Same thing with like, okay...

You know when you're like ending it with a guy and or you know when you're bored and you just want to like fight with whoever you're talking to because you're just fucking bored and you write like a crazy ass text message. Have you ever just feel toxic? You know, you just want to like ruffle some feathers. Have you just want to ruin someone's life for no reason? Have you ever read that text message out loud and been like, I can't send that. They'll send me to a straight insane asylum if I send this text.

Well, you know I don't fight via text. Oh, I love a rage text. Because rage text, there's evidence. They show it to their friends. If you start a text message with, I just think it's funny that I've changed it now to, I find it comical because I feel like that's growing up. It's more mature. It's more mature. That's like PhD toxic shit. Yeah.

Yeah. I have a PhD in being a toxic ass girlfriend. Not really, but you know. In Indiana, I met... Like, I meet comics on the road because they'll, like, feature for me. And I met this guy, Ben Polizzi, who we love. I love him. I've, like, started following him now. I am obsessed with him. I think he's hilarious. So funny. And I had him on Burning in Hell. It's not out yet. It'll come out soon. Okay. And I like asking guys about anxiety because...

They don't talk about it the way girls do. And some of them don't even face their anxiety. And Ben is like so confident. He's like handsome. How old is he? 30. Wow. He's very cute. Yeah. And I was like, do you have anxiety? Yeah.

And he basically said it in the most straight man way. I was like, I love when guys say things and like, I'm like, wow, you're such a straight male. I don't even know how you worded that like that. He was like, so when I get, you know, those like bad thoughts, I was like, yeah, he goes, you know, the movie Saw. And he was like, so it's like those thoughts are like the Saw guy coming for me. So I just like disassociate from him. I'm like, that's the Saw guy. And I don't fuck with it.

And I was like, Ben, people go to therapy for years to get to that point. And he's like, really? And I'm like, that's genius. Four years. He did a whole, he like loves the movie Saw. He did a whole, I think I sent it to you. This whole thing about millennials, if they were doing, if they were in the movie Saw and they were like, okay, you have to write a check. And he was like, oh, fuck. Yeah.

And then it ends with, if you don't finish, we're going to release all your TikTok drafts. And he's like, no! I saw that. That was really funny. So anyway, the point is that straight men aren't completely stupid all the time. They just have to find their way of coping. No, it literally took me years of therapy to realize that your thoughts are not who you are.

But when you're not trusting your gut, you think those thoughts are like warning signs to help you when they're actually just like it's like a snake getting tighter and tighter. Yeah. When really you have to be like, oh, I don't fuck with you snake. Instead, you're like, are we cuddling? Yeah, I agree.

Next type of girl that will ruin your life. Girls who can only fall asleep with the TV on. I feel like you've literally just taken personality traits and made them into a TikTok. Like you're coming for me. I feel like it's me and you combined, to be honest. I have to fall asleep with the TV on.

So all last summer, Paige was watching The Sopranos. Very violent show to calmly fall asleep to at the end of the night. And I would come in after talking to Des, and this bitch would pass out like a little baby, and you just hear, I'm gonna kill your family! I'm gonna kill them all! And Paige is like...

I literally slept like a baby. I was comforted by Tony Soprano. Like every time they ate pasta, I felt like I was home. My favorite is when you're asleep holding your phone and it's just like a toxic text paragraph that you haven't sent yet. And I'm like, I fall asleep holding my phone a lot. I have fallen asleep like on tick tock and like can hear the tick same tick tock replaying and replaying like as I'm falling asleep. Just like,

Jeffrey Bezos. I'm still like, I'm literally still like a 12 year old kid who doesn't want to go to bed at the end of the night. And now that I'm an adult and no one's telling me to go to bed, I'm like, I'm up till like 3 a.m. I'm tired until about 1030. If I get past 1030, the world changes and I'm like, I'm free. I couldn't tell you the last time I went to bed at 1030.

I know. But like it would change your life. Wait, I've also been doing this thing. I think this is just my anxiety. I haven't been sleeping in my bed. Oh my God, I did that to my couch sometimes. Like this whole week I slept on my couch. Is that weird? You know, I was doing that too. It's almost like you don't want to get back into like old habits or something. Yeah, like there's just something about...

Being on my couch, watching TV, doing whatever I'm doing, turning the TV off, getting up, walking to my bedroom alone. Too much. It's too much. No, it's too much. That simple act of walking 10 steps to get in my bed and turn the TV on in there, I can't do it. Couches?

are next level peaceful. Next level. Where beds, it's like you feel guilty if you're not sleeping in them. Where couches, they're like, you could sleep, you could not, we don't judge you. They're so non-judgmental. The bed is like, fall asleep. You could like spill food on it and it doesn't care where beds are like, you're gross. Yeah. You're gross. It's so different eating in the bed than eating on the couch. And my couch fucks. Like my couch is great. I feel like my

This is what I'm just like holding it to. I feel like my soulmate needs to just have one thing and that's that he likes to eat in the bed. Like I want to eat in the bed.

If I was a guy or if you were a guy and I was a girl, like... We would date. That's why... We would be married. That's why our friendship works. Types of girls who will ruin your life. Girls who use the upside down smiley face emoji. It's... Wait, that's you too. I've actually realized I just was like, what would Paige do? WWPD. It's literally...

my i'm gonna go to my text and see can you explain what that what that it's my top one means it's the red it's your top one it's first it goes the red heart the upside down smiley then the pink heart wait how do you see which ones are your top ones it's the first row going um vertically okay mine is heart muscles thumbs up crying rock star and fire

That's very you. That's very you. We get it. You're passionate. We get it. You can tell your entire personality from your top emojis. Oh, my God. Gigglers, post your top emojis and tag Giggly Squad. I want to see if we all have some. Wait. Okay. So my first row is red heart, upside down smiley, pink heart, like blushing, like look, and then white heart. Oh, so you've been sexting. Yeah.

Oh, so you... No, we get it. But it's so funny. You see, like, what your emotions are. That's a single girl right there. Wait, so what... When do you use the upside-down smiley face? Because it really is a cool girl emoji, and it, like... I feel like it's so nuanced. Can you give me some info? Okay. Certain situations in which I send the upside-down emoji, like...

When someone like underestimates me and in a text message they're like damn Paige like I don't know How many people underestimate you? Is this like an everyday thing? This is why I'm in therapy No, or like if you say something and they're like, oh my god Like I didn't wasn't expecting that from you or something like that Then you send the upside down like yeah, bitch you don't know me but also evil but also It's crazy girl Girls who will ruin your life girls who like apple juice. This is a me thing. Yeah, I

We've spoken about apple juice. We've been on an apple juice kick, though. I'm on a I've been on a lemonade kick. But it's funny how many bars in New York fucking city don't have apple juice and look at you like you're a toddler. I haven't asked for it out. An apple a day does keep the doctor away. Girls who ruin your life. Girls who actually can, like, put a messy bun together in one try. I'm a pro. A literal pro.

Girls who have their zodiac sign in their Instagram bio. That's crazy town. They're crazy. Yeah. Girls who have watched all of Real Housewives of New York City. I mean, I've never missed an episode. Wait, do we want Dorinda back? I do. Did you see all that stuff about how they're doing like ex-Housewives? Yeah. Yeah.

Apparently, Dorinda posted something like looking young or something. And Vicky Gunderson was like, I paved the way for you. Let it go. It was like, yeah, we know. It's over. Let it go. And did you really know you just got casted? What do you think about Dallas? Dallas is canceled. I'm not that sad about it.

Like, I watched it, but I was never, like, fully invested. Look, I also am never fully invested in OC. Yeah, but I feel like that's an OG that, like, a different generation is really into. Once Heather Dubrow comes back, I will be... Yeah, you're going to be into it. I'm going to be so into it. She's your soulmate. She really is. But the thing with Dallas is...

I feel like you put a lot of time into it and then when they just cancel it, you're just like, oh, I guess it is just a TV show that if the ratings aren't good enough, it's gone. I don't know them.

I forgot this was all for my entertainment. If you're not entertained enough, it gets canceled. Yeah, like, am I still going to check up on their lives? It's scary, but I don't think any other ones are on the chopping block. I also have a feeling that, like, Dallas was too surface. Like, I feel like they actually all had some deep shit going on, and they just never showed it. Like, the one girl...

What about all that stuff that like her husband was cheating on her and then it was like she was also cheating on him. Like I want a documentary on that. I want a documentary on people in open relationships because I don't have the capacity. Wait, are they in an open relationship? I don't think so. I don't think so. But like if it's agreed upon that like you are married and you can go and sleep with whoever you want and your husband can also do that. I would lose my mind.

I would lose it. I do think with really rich people, stuff is different. Like, I do think J-Lo and A-Rod were in an open relationship. But she was like, you're my business guy. I love you. I like to fuck you. And I understand you're a dirty baseball player. So you couldn't do that on the low. Just, like, be loyal, like, in terms of the family and our information and money. Yeah. And don't get caught. But, um... I think it's all about, like, just not embarrassing me, too. Yeah.

And being in the public, like, if you then embarrass me, like, oh, now I have to ruin you. And I don't want to. Can we discuss Selling Sunset? Because I don't know how we didn't discuss it before. About Chrishell dating Jason? Yeah. What are your thoughts? Okay, here's the thing. I don't believe that when you meet someone – I really don't. I don't believe that when you meet someone –

You're talking to yourself right now. I'm like, do I? I don't. I don't. I'm telling you, I don't. Do you? I don't know. Do you? I literally am that TikTok. It's like, girls, as the New York girls say, I'm sorry for things they don't have to say. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love Doritos. Um,

Okay, I don't think I think anytime you meet a guy, you know, if you would ever have sex with them or ever date them. Like, I genuinely don't believe that you can meet someone and then they grow on you and you're like, oh, and now I want to have a relationship with them. Like I put everyone in a box.

Yep. I've never had a grow on you thing. I've had a like, I'm I like this person a lot. Don't know if I'll be sexually attracted to them. And then you kiss them and you're like, OK, see, anytime I've ever done that.

It doesn't work. It doesn't work. Like if I'm not. Yeah, long term, you're like, I don't want to fuck you. If I'm not sexually attracted to you in the first 30 seconds I meet you, I probably never will be. Like I have to be obsessed. After I've been in a bad relationship, like a narcissistic relationship, I'll find like a really nice guy who I'm not that sexually attracted to that I don't feel will hurt me. And I'll lie to myself that I'll like it. And then six months in, I'm like, I can't. I'm like, I can't. I got to get out.

I'm... Look, Chrishell is complicated. She's had a lot of drama. It's also, like, that's her boss. Yeah, and it's also kind of just... When things are too good for the show, you're like, are you just selling your soul for the show? And also, how do you think her ex-husband feels? Because it's like, okay, you saw this guy every single day. You worked with him. You...

Everyone has thoughts. And if you say that you don't, you're lying. Everyone has thoughts about people that they're around every single day. Like, what if I had sex with them? Yeah, we're crushes. Yeah, like, imagine if we just had sex. What would happen? But he's probably super supportive and believed in her and, like, was there during a lot of stuff. Yeah.

But it is funny going from Jason Hartley. Is that his name? Who's, I think, so fucking hot. And I'm not even. I do have to say, I kind of liked how he dealt with all the drama. Where he just didn't. She made all these horrible accusations about him. And he was just like, I'm not getting involved. Yeah. And I think he got remarried. Or he's with someone. I don't know. It's messy. It's messy, messy, messy. I like her, though. I do like her, though.

Yeah. I don't know her. Me as well. I don't. But I love a hardworking woman and I want her to find love again. I like having her on my TV screen. Like I like looking at her. I love how Selling Sense got so big. Dude, I feel like all Netflix reality shows, like once they come out, it's like, and now they're the most famous people.

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Have you watched Nikki's Fuckboy Island yet? I haven't. I haven't. I'm waiting to watch it. Is it really good? So Nikki, a friend of the pod, was like, she'd tell me, because she loves Summer House, and she was like, I want to do reality TV so bad. And I was like, Nikki, don't. Don't do it. And then to see her on a reality show, allowed to purposely be funny...

And, like, in on the joke. I'm so jealous. I'm like, Nikki, this is incredible. Like, she's the host, but she, like, gets into it and makes fun of them all. Like, you know The Bachelor just kind of shits on everyone? Where FBoy Island, I haven't watched it yet, but it seems like they really lean into the humor of it all. Yeah. I love that. So, everyone watch FBoy Island with Nikki Glaser. She's hilarious. I'm going to watch it. It's on HBO Max, right? HBO Max, which, you know...

I watched Hacks on HBO Max, so I am subscribed. HBO Max has been crushing it. I watched White Lotus that like everyone's talking about. I did not get it. Oh my God. I've heard two responses. One, people obsessed. Two, people being like it wasn't as good as people are making out to be. It was not. It wasn't funny? No. I mean, it was like very dry humor. It honestly made me anxious and it made me depressed. Right?

You go, it ruined my life. Like it was, but it was also kind of comforting too because it was like, wow, there's such different scenarios happening and the common thread is everyone's fucking crazy. Like everyone's like, like everyone's insane. Yeah. Anyway. You wrote one more thing. We've been waiting to get to this. Can you talk about Bama Rush? Okay. Yeah.

I think that you think that I know what it is and I don't. Okay. So let's just get that out in the open. I'm so fucking pissed because the Bama Rush TikToks didn't start coming on my For You page until it was over.

And I was like... So they never hit my For You page because mine is about like ADD and self-love. And I sat there and I was like genuinely concerned about my algorithm. I was like, wait, it's a bunch of girls competing against something, but like mainly with their outfits. They all want to be popular. That is me. That should be my algorithm. Okay, so...

You did not go to college at a big sports school with sororities and fraternities. When I know about Rush, but I went to the Midwest. I was in Wisconsin. Go Badgers. I was in Wisconsin. So the sports were kind of more important than the like sororities and fraternities. My brother wasn't a frat.

And I would see him coming home from a bar as I was going to weights at 6 a.m. Like, it's crazy. But Southern sororities are next level. It's like they do debutante and then they go to their sororities. And it's literally a popularity contest of, like, what clique you're going to be in for the rest of college. Hannah, people had sides. People were making wagers on, like, who was getting in. There were upsets. Like, I...

I would have loved to follow all the drama and TikTok was like, fuck you. So the girls were saying, why just Alabama? Why not like any other of the colleges? Why Bama got big? I have no idea. Does everyone rush at the same, on the same week? Yeah. Like every college does it. And rushing now, I feel like it's something that's going to be canceled soon because you can't,

Oh, because she was wearing JCPenney's? You can't have this many women in one room without someone saying something vulgar or offensive. Oh, one girl. I did get one thing. One girl posted a video of her kind of showing a ripped jean that showed her butt a little. And she got kicked out of her sorority. Are you kidding me? Well, yeah, because there's this...

this level of like you have to be perfect okay i either it would have gone one of two ways for me i either would have loved being in a sorority and would have been and a huge like obsessed with it or i would have absolutely hated it and been like you guys are all fucking losers i'm gonna be honest yeah you would have been in one yeah you would have gotten in the cool one and you would have absolutely fucking hated it but you would have stayed in it

very on brand for me that's exactly what you would have done i would have just talked shit about everyone but was also the president at the same time i'd be on the tennis team and i'd meet up with you for coffee i'd be like how is dg going and you'd be like it's the fucking worst but i am i did just get voted queen of whatever so i have to go wow that is what would happen

Because mine, you can't be in a sorority when you're on a team. So, like, my tennis team was kind of like my sorority. Got it. But, yeah. Guys, message us what sorority you guys think we'd be in. Also, that question doesn't even work because sororities are also different in most schools. But apparently, DG...

Is that Delta Gamma? And Delta Gamma have always, like, even in Wisconsin, those are the two cool ones. I mean, I do fantasize, like, a bow in my hair and me, like, singing some, like, Delta Delta Gamma. Some bullshit. That makes me vomit. Like, that makes me... See, that makes me excited to, like, put on a cute outfit. It's Delta Delta Gamma, I think. I have no idea. I can really only go by, like, Elle Woods and she was a... No, Delta Gamma's DG. Kappa Gamma. Kappa Kappa Gamma. What was Elle Woods?

I think she was in Kappa Kappa Gamma. I think she was, but we used to call it Visa Visa MasterCard. Why? Because it's like they would just use their dad's credit cards all the time. Wait, that's hilarious. Visa Visa MasterCard. I had a boyfriend all through college. Not the same one. I'm not a loser. But I always had a boyfriend in college. So...

I would take on their, basically take on their identity. But like wherever they went to school, I would go out there on the weekends 'cause like obviously I'm gonna like hang with my boyfriend.

My first boyfriend in college, he went to this college called RPI. It's in Albany, whatever. It's like very smart, but it's mainly all guys. Like there's not that many girls there, but they did have Greek life. He wasn't in a frat because he was on the lacrosse team, but we would like hang out with the frat. The only girls I didn't get along with, girls hockey team.

the girls hockey team absolutely hated my existence. Like would fight with them at the bar. And my boyfriend would come up to me and be like, this is the girls hockey team. If you think you're not about to get the shit beat out of you. And I'm like, hold me back. Oh,

- I don't care. - I think there was tension between the female athletes and like the top sororities because the female athletes, like you hang with them all the time. Like they see you in the morning at 6:00 AM, like no makeup and you become like real friends with these guys. And then these girls at night show up

the guys are like, ooh, new pretty shiny things. And if you had a crush on one of the athletes, you're like, fuck, like you'd get jealous. But then a lot of the athletes would end up dating the other athletes because they had the same schedule and they like wanted athletic children. Yeah, it just like worked. My brother was in a fraternity and he'd be so scared of the older guys. Oh my God. He was, the older guys constantly

Because Rush is crazy and like kind of abusive when it comes to the dudes. Like he's he and my brother was really into in the beginning. He was like this one guy. He said, if we see him on campus, we have to go across the street and not make eye contact with him. Like it's like little things that they have to do. He's like, we all have to clean this guy's apartment every Friday. OK, so they're literally breeding abusive boyfriends.

You literally nailed it. Control freaks. Because then they end up doing it to the younger guys once they become that age. And they like that power. So then they do it to their girlfriends, which makes me sick. But then this older, these guys are losers. The ones who are bossing around the freshmen. I mean, it's because it's the culture. Daniel introduced me to him at the bar and he like kind of liked me. And I thought it was like kind of funny that this guy who was like abusing my brother, like liked me. So I got like a little power and he got drunk and I was like, don't you dare. Yeah.

fuck with my brother. I love that. One night he took me out. Like on a date? He took you on a date or you just went like out? We like, we like went out with some friends. He went back to my place and I made him sleep on my couch. He puked inside my couch. Like,

Like we woke up in the morning and was like, what is that smell? And then we found he puked in the couch, covered it up. And my roommates were like, where the fuck are you finding these dudes? And I'm like, I don't know. I was trying to manipulate him to be nice to my brother. Oh my God. Also, actually, this is, I love being an older sister in these moments because you've never been an older sister. I have not and I probably never will be. My,

My brother does that. Like he has the memory of, I don't know. Like if I bring anyone up, he'll be like, don't you remember in 2007 when he texted you and said that like you weren't shit? And I'm like, no, I don't remember that. That's our friendship. I'm like, Paige, that girl literally said this about you. You remember everything. I think I'd be too powerful if I remembered things and I'd be too big of a bitch that...

That I just forget things and then I can live more happily. You only remember when people copy your outfits and don't give you credit. Yeah. Oh, I will remember that. No, it's not that they copy my outfits and don't give me credit. It's more that like they act like they didn't get it from me.

Yeah. Yeah. I guess it's copying my outfits and don't give me credit. It's not like it's not like random girls on Instagram that I don't know. It's like people in like my friends. I'm like, bitch, I know that you bought this at the same store. Like, why don't you just why aren't we talking about it?

Well, Paige, I wore a brown quasi turtleneck thing in interviews and then you did and you still haven't. Okay, mine wasn't brown. We've doxed you on Instagram. Mine was brown. And mine wasn't. And mine had cutouts. What was it? You can't claim a style of a shirt. You can't claim the turtleneck. The people know the truth. Basically...

I was messaging Elena. I was like, fine. We're taking her down. And she was like, okay, this is weird. Okay. Wait, I want to talk about, um, I have to talk about this. I've been seething to not seething. That's the wrong word. I've been like foaming at the mouth. Yeah. Travis getting on a plane for Courtney.

This is better than any reality TV show I've ever watched. I'll say it once. I'll say it. The number one thing that my mom taught me when I first started dating, and it is the only thing I live by to this day, if he wants to, he will. If he wants to... You're going to make me cry. He will. Like, I am such a believer in that, like, excuses just aren't real. Okay, sometimes, yes, they're real. Like, you have to work a lot or you... whatever. Right.

But if a guy wants to hang out with you and wants to see you, I have had men do some of the craziest shit because they want to see me. And then I have had guys who live like three blocks away be like, I just like I can't. And I'm like, OK, that means you don't like me enough to do that. Travis getting on a fucking plane, got on Kylie Air also after like.

that a company no it's just her it's just kylie yeah oh getting on a plane after almost dying in a plane crash because he loves this woman so fucking much no i can't i can't scott disick who

I know. And I used to be the biggest fan of them getting back together. I'm sorry. No. No. No. There's also something about when you're with someone, them giving you the confidence to overcome something that is like you fucking fall in love with them. There's also something like when you start dating someone, and I've only felt this in like a few relationships and like my best relationships. Yeah.

When I feel like I'm the only girl in the world that exists, like, yes, you can appreciate like a pretty girl, like a hot girl, whatever. But when you have that feeling, when you know, like he would never look at someone the way he looks at me, like that's unmatched. And I feel like I've only felt that twice, maybe three times. In comedy, like I was doing it on my own and I was like,

I wasn't hard on myself, but I was like a perfectionist. Like I was like, I'd write down all my jokes when I'd go on stage. I had to make sure like every joke was perfect and I didn't mess up the order and I like performed it great. And Des gave me the confidence. He'd just be like, go up and like, you need to improv some stuff. You need to be messy. Like you need to like to discover new jokes and to push yourself. You need to be okay. And like he made me overcome the fear of like just not being perfect on stage. Wow.

Wow. There's so much deeper meaning to that. Like he almost was like, I love you like regardless of any of it. And I know that you're better than like what you even think you can do. No, I'm literally going to cry. Like some your significant other seeing like the potential in you is so different than being with a guy who's like a little bit insecure and wants you to not do certain things because it's going to make him feel more insecure. Yeah.

Like guys are only controlling and like only tell you what to not do because of how it's going to affect them. It has nothing to do with you. But you know, like The Bachelor, when they do those things of like, oh, she's scared of heights. So we're going to make her jump off a cliff. We're going to push her to her death. She's scared of tigers. So we're going to put her in a tiger's jaw. Yeah.

But there's, I think, a psychology to it where it's like if you're with someone and you can overcome something, it like sparks things in your brain of like they're making me better or something. I think that's like the Badger is all like psychology bullshit to make you fall in love with someone in two weeks who you don't know, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But it's even little things like, you know, when you a guy starts like introducing you to new food or something. It's like putting you out of your comfort zone. It's like, yeah, it's like doing new things with a new person. You're like, oh, my God, he's taught me so many things. He took you to a museum, bitch. And you made up all the time. You didn't even look at a painting. No, I got that. I totally got that. You also wrote that Pete Davidson is single. OK, so not confirmed.

But I mean, I get all my information from Dumont, obviously, but allegedly that they broke up because of distance and working. We've talked about him a lot. He's very interesting. Yeah. But it's funny. He's just like a kid from Staten Island who was like doing comedy clubs in the city. He is funny. I think he's funnier than...

In storytelling than I do on SNL. Yeah, SNL isn't like ideal. Like he was on like Jimmy Kimmel. He's not a character guy. He was on like Jimmy Kimmel or like Jimmy Fallon. He was like telling a story about like going to dinner with Kanye West. And like it was just very way funnier than I think he is now.

- So he actually got on SNL through his standup. Most people get on SNL through doing characters where they were just like, your standup's really good and you have a funny personality. - And he's just an interesting character. He's young, but he's kind of hot, but kind of not, and very New York. - He invented big dick energy. - Absolutely.

He's ugly hot. He's ugly hot. He's the bad boy. He's the class clown who didn't do his homework, but everyone still likes him. Even the teacher will be. There's so many different versions of like hot guys. Yeah.

He's like, it's so hard to keep them all straight. Like he's the kind of hot that like he's not walking in. I always think of someone as like a wedding date and I don't know why, but he's not the kind of guy that like walks into a wedding and like he's your date and girls are like, oh my God, he looks so good. Like he's not that kind of hot. He also has a hot voice. His low voice. He does have a hot voice. And also his style is so good. His style is sexy, like New York, um,

Fun fact, speaking of SNL. So I performed at West Nyack last weekend. I didn't know where West Nyack is. I thought it was upstate. Someone said it was Westchester or it wasn't Westchester. Whatever. I don't know where it is, but it was in the middle of a mall. Remember that YouTube video about Westchester? Westchester. Giannis Papas. So basically I was supposed to do Saturday, Friday and Saturday. And I got a call saying Colin Jost wants your dates.

Wait, what? So I was supposed to be on Friday and Saturday. Did you give them to him? Yes, 100%. He's a new father. Him and Scarlett. Absolutely have them. So I ended up going on Sunday and like

his he like signed the green room wall where it is but everyone's like was scott johansson there and they were like no and apparently like michael che lives close to there and he showed up like kind of drunk and they just like shot the shit for an hour beforehand um it's just weird it's so it's a small world okay chicks in the office did this thing and i think we should do it too like who would you have at your dinner table

I want Michael Che at mine. And I also want, I think I want Colin and Scarlett. I think I want the three of them because I bet they have. Because we need them to get along. We can't just have random people. Yeah, like I want them to be friends and have known each other so that it's like funnier. I have to ask you something. This is like a little insecure of me, but someone commented on my photo yesterday and we love her. She's very kind. She's a giggler, I think. And she goes, it was me in the mirror with Cheech in my pink pants. Yeah.

And I thought I looked cute. And the girl goes, I love how body positive you are. Yes. She called you fat. Paige. No, people have been. Yes, I put on 10 in quarantine, but like maybe 15. But like there's something happened in quarantine where we twisted insults and made them positive. But the feeling is still the same. I had someone tell me the other day that

They love that I have been embracing my new curves. And I said, what the fuck does that mean? Yeah. Embracing my new curves. Like I didn't even respond to it because I didn't know how to. Oh, I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's so fucked up. It's so fucked up. Like anyone. I know that it's like such a like. She called me brave for wearing those. She called you brave. She couldn't believe you stepped out and that she loves it.

I would jump off a bridge no I would it's I think just like not commenting on anyone's weight is the best policy it's literally anything you say now is the equivalent of asking someone if they're pregnant and they're not like you can't say anything but also even being like oh you look really good for being skinny like you never know she could be going through like horrible anxiety she can't eat like it's just yeah let's just not comment on girls weights anymore

Yeah like I want to feel good like I want to put clothes on and feel good about myself and that's like not a bad thing that doesn't mean I'm like doing these crazy things to be skinny or be like anyone else I just want to feel pretty like isn't that just what girls are like every day like you just want to feel good you want to feel cute yeah.

Yeah, and I personally know that Des loves my fat ass and it's positive. It's positive, okay? And that's body positivity. And that's body positivity. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks.

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I think it's time. Time for what? Okay. I just want to do one dope documentary. Oh my God. Okay. Before we got on the pod, Hannah goes, just have to warn you. I've been binging documentaries. The bitch is back. It's dope documentary time. Bitch is back. Okay. First documentary. Also, all of these are on Netflix. You guys can watch it immediately. It's called Misha and the Wolves.

This documentary is about this woman who said she was a kid in the Holocaust who lost both her parents and she tried to find them by walking through the woods and made friends with a family of wolves who protected her. Wow. Thought this was going to be about Misha Barton. I was very wrong. She's lying about the whole thing.

And shit goes down because she got like a book deal and all this stuff. Like Oprah was interested. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I have follow up questions. She lied about this entire story. She made the book. She, she basically was telling everyone this story and a publisher reached out who was friends with her. Um,

Okay. It was like, you have to make... How'd they figure out she was lying? Because all this drama happened when the book... She wouldn't go on Oprah. And the publisher was like, you have to go on Oprah. And she's like, I don't want to go on Oprah. They're like, this is how we sell the book. And then there ended up being some suing involved where...

Misha said that the girl took advantage of her. So the girl got sued for all this money and she decided to look deeper into it. And they literally did a deep dive onto this woman's life and found out she's not even Jewish. No. It's fucking crazy. No.

That girl should have kept it in her journal. She should have kept it in her journal. And then they interviewed like her aunt in like Germany or something. They found her aunt, like someone related to her. She didn't have the same name. And she goes, oh yeah, that's what she's always been like. Even when she was little, she just made up stories all the time. People like that actually terrify me. Do you want to know the number one thing I'm scared of? The human brain.

And then secondly, tax evasion. Oh, and then tax evasion. Third, men. Third, just like general feelings about men. Further fucking more on, I think it was Netflix or Amazon Prime. It's called The Woman Who Wasn't There. Okay. It's about a woman who basically tells this crazy story of 9-11. And I can't watch 9-11 documentaries. It's too triggering for me. This is the first one I've watched. She basically said she like had to like,

She got out and it's this heroic story. Started all these organizations, all this stuff. Turns out she was lying. She wasn't even there. What is up with people's like? So I think it's almost like, you know how that woman made up that her kid was sick and then like convinced the kid she was sick. It's like, yeah, they want attention through empathy. So they like lie that they're involved in horrible things to get people to feel bad for them.

It's real. It's definitely. That's a different kind of fucked up. A different kind of fucked up. Wow. Are you ever thankful for your own anxiety? I'm bad. Like, I catastrophize my shit. And I'm like, I'm going through the worst thing anyone's ever gone through ever. And that's when you're like, Kim, there's people out here dying. That's literally what my mom does. She's like, I mean, it's not that bad. I'm like, it's the worst ever.

But no, yeah, at least like I know my own demons. But like sometimes I hear how crazy people are and I'm like, wow, I know that I'm crazy. But like, thank God I'm my kind of crazy and not your kind. OK, next one is have you ever watched a documentary about Mary J. Blige? No, but this is so weird because Sierra and I were just talking about Mary J. Blige. And I was like, I wasn't like as into her as like people were. And she was like, I don't know if I can be your friend anymore. Like she loves her.

So, like, Mary J. Blige, Family Affair, and Be Without You, and Just Fine, like, you have to listen to them. No, I know. I know. Let's get it around the corner, around the corner. No, I think she's great. I just never had, like, an attachment to her as I do other celebrities. Well, she also, it's funny because Sierra is young, but Mary J. Blige, with our generation, had, like, a second wave of stuff. So, Mary J. Blige is the toughest bitch. She does not laugh. No.

She does not smile. Like, it takes so much for her to laugh or smile. She was like, when I was young, I just didn't laugh at anyone. She was like, I was depressed and I just didn't. And I was like, but it was like beautiful that she doesn't like, she doesn't let anyone fuck with her. And she was the first one, like a woman from the projects who went from the projects to stardom in like three days. And she is so open about like depression, anxiety that she was dealing with and

You just realize how her music is so fucking raw and emotional and like not poppy and stupid, even though we love poppy and stupid. But anyway, it's Mary J. Blige doc. She's been through a lot. She's been through a lot. And she's just she makes you believe that you could do anything. When do you have time to watch all of these documentaries? Wait, did you get your gift yet? Oh, my God. I just got my gift. I just posted on Instagram. What did I get you?

No, was it the first gift or the second one? So this is the second gift. I saw these all over Instagram, these tennis balls smelling candles. Right? I kept seeing them too. They are so cute. They gave me three of them. I got you three. Wait, you're so cute because you know I fart a lot and we need it. Dude, I was just like...

I was like, this is being targeted to me because who else would I buy a fucking tennis ball scented candle for? They're so cute. It's like it smells like cut grass and cucumber and Wimbledon. I love you so much. Thank you so much. What was the first gift that didn't come to me? Dude, I got you chocolate covered strawberries, balloons, flowers, and then I wrote like a really nice card. Like it was sentimental. I love it.

someone and i love how the card that i got when this one was hey you didn't get the first one so here's the second one i love you so much yeah i was like i'm not re-diving into those feelings from the first card it wasn't meant to be i really wish i got the first card i know it says delivered i don't know whatever um was that all the documentaries you had no um we have okay it's called lady boss by jackie collins do you know who jackie collins is he

Yeah, I do. How do I know? Joan Collins was this, like, British movie star. Her sister, who was considered ugly, which she wasn't, wanted to be an actress, too. Didn't really make it, but then started basically just observing Hollywood because you'd go to all these fancy parties and then start to write about, like, her sexual experiences and basically was the first to write, like,

romantic, sexy novels for women. Oh, wow. And she blew the fuck up in Europe. Her name's Jackie? Yeah.

Jackie Collins and she got huge but it shows how she had this I like people shamed her so much for talking about sex from a woman's perspective and how she like but then as she kept going towards the 2000s then feminists started to get mad at her like you're saying women want to be dominated all the time and it like sometimes we do it's like sometimes they do I realize like yeah like we have to be alpha in so many things and like sometimes we want to be beta

Sometimes I love it. So I just I love these like coming of age type entrepreneurial things. Then finally, we have Malice and the Palace. OK, so this is a documentary series that's going to be a couple different stories about crazy sports situations like they're going to do one on Caitlyn Jenner and like a deep dive on her. But this one was about this fight with, you know, around our test is.

Yeah, he's a comedian. No, basketball player. Got it. This is like the stories where everyone goes, do you know that person? You're like, yeah, 100%. Don't ask me a question, though. Have you seen that movie? Absolutely. Absolutely. Metta World Peace. He changed his name to Metta World Peace. Oh, that's him? Yeah. Okay. So basically it shows how...

There was this terrible brawl in the Indiana Pacers versus Detroit Pistons where the players jumped into the crowd and got in a huge fight and shit got crazy. There was no security. Chairs were being thrown. And the way it was played to the audience was like kind of cut up where it was just a certain perspective. And they try to play this narrative of like these guys are thugs.

And like these guys get paid millions of dollars and they're attacking the crowd and they need the worst punishment ever. So they basically do a deep dive and they say when they looked at all the footage, like the fans literally started it. A fan threw a cup at Ron Artest, a fan ran up to him with his fist clenched and Ron just like punched him in the face. Like you don't just go up to a guy. Not that Ron and the guys were completely innocent, but the narrative, they just tried to frame it in the media that like these guys were horrible.

It's because those kind of people that do things to egg you on are just losers. And they know that you have so much more to lose than they do. Like, what is this dumb fan going to... Like, what's going to happen to him? He might get arrested, whatever. He could run our test, could be taken off his team, lose millions of dollars. People just don't want to see other people doing well. People hate to see a girl boss winning. And basically, the head of the NBA commissioner...

The media is only seeing what they're showing, like a cut-up version of the fight. And so... And everyone's like, these thugs, these thugs, which is...

Just so wrong. Don't forget our tattoo that we're getting, Thug Life. Yeah. And the commissioner basically listens to the fans. It's like he's listening to trolls on Twitter because they're the ones that pay money. And he goes, these guys are basically suspended for the whole season. These guys were supposed to win the championship that year. When was this? When was this? What year was this? This was like 10, 15 years ago. No, that makes me angry. So Ron Artest was like dealing with depression and all this stuff.

So basically, then after this happens, they go to a courtroom and the court watches all the footage and they realize like the guys like really didn't do anything that bad and the fans need to be held accountable for what they did. And it just reminded me of like a lot of situations where like you can make anyone look like a villain by cutting footage up and creating a narrative. It reminds you of the time that you got into a brawl. Anytime something gets physical, I gotta go.

You know, like I got it. I got to get out. It's not it's not my journey. It's not my journey. Me and you don't fuck with that. I mean, I got a drink thrown at me and I walked away like I'm a classy bitch. I just I can't I can't risk someone hitting me because I'll cry. I'll immediately start crying. There's a lot of situations in my life where I'll just be like, I'll cry. So I got to go.

But yeah, so this was really insane because I feel like there's so much stuff coming out, like the Britney Spears stuff, this stuff where it's like, hey, the media wanted people to like turn on someone. Yeah. And then 20 years later, people are like, oh, it wasn't that black and white. So anyway, that's very true. Those are our dope documentaries for the week. Wow. What a pod. What a pod. This was a fun one. This was a fun one.

Paige and I are always up to something. We're working on some new merch that we're very excited for. We're working on potential other stuff too. I know, like I want to say, but like... That's so annoying. I feel like that influence is like, guys, I have a big project coming up. I can't tell you yet. I mean, gist of it is like basically we're like all going to hang soon.

Maybe. We're all going to hang. Just like a chill hang. Yeah. Just like vibe. Just living life. Okay. I have to pee so bad. So. Okay. I love you so much. Thanks for Googling with us guys. Bye. I forgot to say bye.