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I mean, the day just got away from me. What is up, my gluten-free gigglers? I'd rather die. Are you gluten-free? No, but people are being really helpful. Like, hey, I know you have bloating IBS problems, and they're telling me to stop eating bread. I don't want to be on this earth if bread is not around me at all times. Have you taken any steps, though, to stop eating bread?
to absolutely not. Awesome. I just feel like life is too short. Life's too short. That was my Brene Brown quote for the day. I have just some quick housekeeping. You guys go to our link on Instagram and we have a Boston show and a DC show that might be sold out
and a New York City show we're so excited about it and then I just got excited I miss our live shows we we had a little break but now we're back I also have some um stand-up stuff I'm doing Tacoma wait I don't know where Tacoma is wait can we talk about the pictures wait can we just talk about your Instagram aesthetic recently
I'm like embarrassed by it. I put that on my story because I don't want to grid it. I was like, no, this is not her. That's a grid word that you're in an evening gown. With gloves. With gloves. I was looking. I was like, who is this?
I know, you look so good. I bought an Amazon top that was $33, incredible fit. And it changed your life. And now you do Amazon lives of what to wear for the summer. This is the thing. People either message me and say, Hannah, did Paige let you wear this? Did you run this by Paige? Or they say Paige would love this. So I live and die by what you think of me. And I'm talking to my therapist about it. But anyway, I have stand-up shows in Tacoma.
in Portland, in Madison, Wisconsin. Go Badgers! Go Badgers! Very excited. That is exciting. We're going to add more dates for Giggly. I can't wait. All of September is just Giggly.
Somebody just asked me to do something in September and I was like, I'm sorry. The month of September is literally dedicated to giggling. Someone was getting married or something and I was like, sorry, I'm giggling that month. I also have gotten a lot of gigglers reach out. This is just like a mental health moment. Just saying like, hey, I deal with depression because you know the gigglers love a depressed moment. We deal with depression all the time. We love being depressed.
And they say our weekly episode helps them fight depression. And you know what? Samesies. Seriously. I think it's like a dose of therapy. I am slowly getting out of my depression. I was deep in it for a couple weeks. Really? Like a couple months. I was deep in one. Years. Decades. 29 years, if we're counting. And I am slowly coming out of it.
What's weird about depression is you don't know you're in it until you get a little bit out and you're like, oh, so you're not supposed to struggle to just get dressed in the morning. Right. I was like having a hard time like washing my face. I was like, what is the point? Yeah. Or someone will send you a basic text message and you'd be like, oh, what do you want? Oh, my God. Literally the amount of times I'd look at my phone and be like, everyone shut the fuck up.
And they're literally like, hey, checking in. And you're like, oh, it's literally my mom being like, good morning. And I was like, stop. Unless someone's messaging me about bringing me food. It's like, stop. OK, I have been I have not been in New York City in weeks. I'm literally missing the best months of New York City right now. It's so annoying. I've been traveling. And then to my surprise, I go on my Instagram and I see just all my friends hanging out and like.
Not that I was around to be invited, but it was like you guys straight up replaced me with a member of my family, which for some reason hurt more than just like another girl. You know what? It turns out Paige and Gary are kind of inter... Changeable. Changeable. Thank you. Sierra just texted me and was like, are you at the stand? And I was like, yes. Sierra rolled in with a man's. And I said, who is the sexy man? And
And then I realized it was no one other than Gary DeSorbo. And there were gigglers there that were talking to me. And I just look at him and he is unlike us. He doesn't love attention, which is I don't trust him. But he's just kind of enjoying sitting back, making sure everyone's having fun. A few, you know, jokes underneath his breath. Gary loves the stand up show, too.
He does. He loves it. So Gary was excited, but I literally tell all the gigglers, I go, this is Paige's brother. And they went nuts. And he looked at me like, how dare you, bitch? Mortified. How dare you? And he's just the sweetest. And we all were just hanging out. And then they went to my comedy show. I got a text. It's funny because I haven't even been to your comedy show. What?
I got it. No, you've been to the big one. I've been to the big one. I got a text from him being like, hey, can I stay in your apartment? And I was like, yeah, sure. And then that's like all I heard. I didn't realize that meant like impersonating me and like hanging out with all my friends and like his outfit was good. What was it?
I don't remember, but I just remember being like... My mom definitely picked it out. Also, he took Sierra to a Yankee game. I saw her Instagram story, then I saw his, and I was like, wait a second. Do you think Sierra and Gary could ever date? No, I think that Sierra sees him as like an older brother. And I think he very much sees her as like me. Like, okay, I need to protect Sierra at all costs. Yeah. Is Gary single? Gary is single.
What kind of girl do you manifest for him? Oh my gosh. I'm honestly, as a true narcissist that I am, I manifest someone that like I am going to hang out with, you know, like I'm more manifesting a sister than a wife for him.
Does she treat him well? I don't give a shit. But does she compliment me in my outfits? Yes. Yeah. And like, can we go out and like drink together? And then like he pick us up at the bar? Yeah. Yeah. Does she really love him? I don't know. Not my, none of my business. Oh my God. We're just manifesting. My mom says, just like a nice girl. You know, we can never just find a nice girl. So that's where we're manifesting. Do you consider Gary like nice guy or is he kind of like,
Tough guy. So Gary is a cancer, like a true, true cancer. My brother's a cancer. And my heart breaks for them. Sensitive little souls, but on the inside. On the inside, just the mushiest. And they want to be confident. They want to put on a brave face, but they're so sensi-
And I will insult Gary and he will remember it three years later and be like, do you remember when you said that to me? And I'm like, no, because I have a life and I don't remember that one insult. But it sounds like it was hilarious. Like I was busy insulting other people. No, seriously. I'm like, what? I have so many other people. If I had a penny, I was talking with fellow comic Ashley Gavin about like signs you should break up with someone. Yeah.
And I want to know your opinion because I think we nailed it. If you're taking if you pull out your notes app, you start taking notes of like behaviors or something. If you start Googling, is it bad? If you have a pros and cons list anywhere, if you do a BuzzFeed quiz of is he a narcissist? I think I'm single.
I've never... Okay, okay, okay, wow. Okay, wow, Bethany. Wow. I don't have a notes app for Craig, but recently I was going through my notes and I opened one and it was a strongly worded text message. And I got like three words in and I was like, oh, wow, I was like going to send that to Craig months ago. So...
That's just a draft text. That's just a draft text. I mean, it's not great. It's not great. We're not going to promote it. No. But do you know when you don't know how to handle your emotions and you think, you know
you know what? The internet's going to tell me. Yeah. And you literally are like, what does it feel like when you're not with the right person? Like that kind of shit. Newsflash, save the three hours of going down a dark hole. If you need to Google it. That's your gut telling you, you're done. You're done. You're done. You're done. Yes. Oh my God. I totally believe in that because now that I think back to every ex-boyfriend, I...
I have had either a pros and cons list or just like a list of things that you've done and I haven't forgotten about it. Yeah. And I'm not talking about a list of things that you're manifesting, like Paige's list of what she wants with a guy. I'm not talking about her list of like presents that she thinks will be cute to get. Things where they've done you wrong. You're so Italian. They have done you wrong and I don't have the best memory, so I need to write that shit down.
Or just tell Gary or I just tell my mom who is like a literal like squire who will write down everything. Oh, final thing. If you're not telling your mom things, it's done. OK, for me. Yes, I agree with that. But I've never been able to have that filter.
Oh, so you tell her everything. I tell her everything because I need a real opinion. Like, I need her to have all of the facts. I was recently with my mom in L.A., and we had probably one of the biggest conversations ever about Craig, but I was telling her about my sex life. When did you become me and my mom? And she said, and I...
And then I went to tell her something else and I was like, sorry, is that too much? And as this bitch is like sipping a Bellini, she goes, you just told me about your full sex life. You think now it's too much. But she actually gave me some like real insight. Like your mom's no or not even though your mom knows any everything. Your mom knows you more than anyone. Yeah. And she understands you and she's part of you. Yeah. And but also there are let's.
Not normalize every mom being amazing. There are toxic relationships with moms. There are some bad moms. There's narcissistic moms. That's true. There are some bad moms out there. Yeah. But finding someone who you know just loves you for you and is rooting for you and understands you. Yep. Anyone could be a mom. Yes. I agree with that.
Luckily mine lives in my house So I don't I should go far Dads don't trust Don't trust them I mean they're great For like a hug Every now and then But let's Literally if I texted my dad Right now and said What's my birthday He'd be like Please stop annoying me Like there No way that man would know I test my dad All the time What's my birthday I'm gonna text him right now So maybe by the end of the pod
I would text my dad, but he would cheat and just ask my mom. When's my birthday? No cheating. Okay. And then be like, I named three of my friends. Just three. Okay.
He knows friends names but he says them all like wrong And I'm like are you doing it on purpose Yeah my best friend from high school He still calls Blondie Because he just I was like her name's Stephanie She's in a new era He doesn't acknowledge it My dad knew it November 4th wow good job What's the year What's the year Gary Senior There's a reason he didn't do the year
He definitely doesn't know the year. I also want to bring up, you know, hot girl walks. Yeah. I now I'm normalizing. I think I saw it on TikTok. Hot couple gossip walks. Hot gossip walks. Yes. And she's like, nothing brings you together. He got their year wrong. He got it wrong. Yep. He said 93. Oh, just dance. Dance. Time to get back to the lawn. Oh, my God.
Okay, back to your landscaping. He said close enough. He said close enough. How many children do you have, Gary Sr.? So yeah, at the end of the day, it is important that you can gossip with your significant other. Yeah. You say, let's go get some fro-yo. Let's go, you know, just do a little walk around.
See the birdies and you give him the tea. I don't want to say it, but it might be better gossiping with your significant other than your best friend.
Because some because you know, like I know when I tell you something, you're going to have the exact same opinion about it as I do. So we kind of feed off that energy. Yeah. Sometimes they throw a curveball in there and you're like, whoa. Have you ever gone off like an hour of gossiping with me and then you turn to your significant other and tell them the tea? And yet they play devil's advocate. And you're like, oh, nothing. I hate more than a devil's advocate. Nothing. I'm like, and I'm.
I'll go from him just being devil's advocate with a stupid scenario to me being like, whose team are you on? What, what was marriage to you?
I was out to dinner the other day with Craig and something happened where he wanted to gossip about it. But it was like the people that we were around. We didn't know these people. We were just like eavesdropping. And he said, oh, my God, I can't tell you now. But when we get out of here, I have something to tell you. And it was like, that's a love language.
Oh, my God. Like, I was so excited. I was... So, Des and I, at night, we do comedy. He's at the cellar, and I'm at the stand. So, we're, like, doing the same things, but in different places. But we know all the same comics. Right. I was going to say, but it's all the same people. We literally are like, okay, so-and-so did this here. And he's like, oh, we can't... Anyway, so we're in the green room, and two of the comics start to fight. And everyone is, like...
Like I literally felt like I was filming reality TV again. Everyone tightened up. The two guys were fighting. I am so surprised there's not more like docu-series on Netflix
Like a comedian's life, like especially in New York City of like people that have been in the comedy world for years and then they blow up and people are like, they're out of nowhere. And you're like, no, they've actually been performing for 10 years. Yeah. You know, well, they say you don't make it in comedy until like seven years in. That's nuts. Which is wild. These comics are fighting.
And people are upset. And I get this like hit of dopamine and I get my phone out. I start texting Des and I'm like, you will not believe. And he immediately takes a side. I actually took the same side as him. And it was hot, hot, hot drums. And afterwards I was like, guys, don't worry. This is we're all going to like talk about this for a week. This is gonna be fun. We're going to be OK. But I do think bonding over if your dude doesn't give a fuck about your stupid friend drama.
And that's what you care about so deeply. Yeah. You're not compatible. Right. Right. I...
I totally agree because I've had boyfriends who have been like, this is stupid. Like, why do you even care about it? When like, yes, we know that. We know that it's stupid. Why do we care about it? But for a couple hours, we're bored. I need to like, I need to vent about it. I need to talk about it. I need to get it out there. So if you're not going to be an active participant in it, then you don't get me when I get to the point where like, yeah, I don't care about it anymore.
yeah okay then he's into it and you're like we don't care about it anymore we're done like it's over but i do think it's good if like you're actually upset about something sometimes it's nice for his bigger perspective to be like hey this doesn't matter and i love when he's like that but i want him to be like tell me everything i have a catch-22 because sometimes craig will rile me up more and he'll be like really you're gonna let that happen and i'm just like oh my god now i have to like
set our house on fire and I wasn't prepared. What is this thing in the notes that made me pee myself about Craig? So there are times where Craig will do something and I'm like, I'm totally talking about that on the podcast. And he's like, no, Paige, that's embarrassing. But I part of our contract. I can't take it anymore. So a couple of weeks ago and I didn't even like let me just set the scene because I didn't really think about it enough.
Couple weeks ago, we're in Charleston, whatever. We're like getting ready for bed. I'm like already in the bed. He's like brushing his teeth or something. And he would just randomly was like, I love you, Paige. Like, you're my best friend. And I was like, oh, that's so sweet. Like, I love you, too. And then like three seconds later, he's like, you know, like, you never tell me that I'm your best friend. Yeah.
He's such a Labrador retriever puppy. Hannah, when I tell you I burst out laughing, like I couldn't hold it in. And he's like, he's kind of like sad. And I'm like, what do you mean? And he's like, you just like you always say like Hannah's your best friend. And then like Stephanie is your best friend from high school. And then like Sierra is your best friend. And then like you have another best friend. And he's like, I never do say like I'm your best friend.
And so I start laughing and I'm like, you are my best friend. Like, I swear, like you are one of my best friends. Yeah.
Well, if you know Paige, she throws the word best friend around liberally. Liberally. You have a hundred best friends and you've never said that I'm one of them. So like a couple of weeks go by and most recently he like says something again. He's like, you're my best friend. And he's like, I look at him and I'm like, okay. And he's like, see, like you still have never said it. He wants to start a fight when he says that. He's so...
And he's like, you know, we do all the things that best friends do. We have sleepovers. We gossip. Like, we laugh about stuff. And, like, you just, like, never say it. So we're starting a new segment called What Did Craig Cry About This Week? And this week it's about not being my best friend. But...
You've got to earn that spot. I love that you've stayed firm with it. It's like me with anal. I'm like, I can't give you everything. I can't give you everything. It's really. I need to keep something for me. I can't call someone my best friend who isn't on the spot funny. And Craig is getting funnier. But until he reaches a point where I'm confident in his humor, he will be my best friend. But I can't.
I can't just give him that without him. It'll be better if he earns it. He'll feel better earning it. This is so funny and so toxic. So toxic. I personally, I think I find Craig funnier than you do. Maybe because you spend more time around him. Yeah. I will just watch him and his natural actions. And I think it's funny.
But is he trying? Absolutely not. No, that's his humor is he will do things. Natural reaction. You won't know it's funny. So I have to tell him like, hey, that was really funny. And he gets excited when I tell him something. People I know is from Delaware, but I feel like he's like very immersed in Southern culture. Yeah. I mean, he's been here over 10 years.
I watched Todd. I just watched Chrisley's nose, nose best accidentally. It was on. Cause I knew there was like crazy shit going on with them. And I just watched a little of the episode. All they do is like, okay, how did they get this show up? Cause like, it's very entertaining, but like, who are they hard to get a show? No, he's a real estate tycoon who now we realize is not a tycoon. Um,
Basically is like Oh he's super He's basically super bitchy And Hates everyone in his family But like in a joking way And it's just him Yelling at his family In like a very I enjoy the show Like if the show is on And there's nothing on And like Whatever I will I have laughed At some of the things On that show
No, it's hilarious. The most recent gossip coming out that he's gay and he's been with his business partner like this entire time. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was the show. I thought that was the show. Yeah. Like, I don't... I... Like, what? Yeah. No, I... No, I know. Did you guys not know? You guys... We would never...
On Pride Month, we would never out someone. Never. Never. Never. He's hysterical. He literally made his son do all his chores so he could go get a facial. He's amazing TV. He was born to be on reality TV. He's...
They're great TV. They're great and like very likable in spite of like them always fighting as a family. It's a very like likable cute way. But they're in like court right now for like bad tax evasion. Yeah. Oh my God. Don't. Why is that?
Don't even. I feel like you haven't succeeded in reality TV until you have tax evaded. Please don't manifest that for me. No, that might not be your journey. That is not my journey. I love that show, though. Well, you also were at the MTV award show. I was at the MTV award show. There's so many names for them now. It was.
Such an experience. It's nothing like it looks like on TV. I will say that. It's so different. You think that they're in like this massive arena. You're not. You're not. You're like when you're when you're in the award show or when you're taking photos outside. That the red carpet is more hours than the actual award show.
Which is some interesting tea. But L.A., like I haven't spent a lot of time there like consecutively, but I spent a week there two weeks ago and I just recently spent a week there.
In just like my findings of LA, there's so many different types of LA people. Like you're either like a really rich, hot mom with plastic surgery. Or you're like a meditation, vegan, like wears her hair in slick back buns, like vibe. Or you're just like...
An actor. Yeah, like you're a struggling actor. You're like pretending to be. It's just like a lot of different L.A. stereotype people. And then I feel like I was thinking about New York. There's one type of New Yorker. And like I think. Yeah. And I think that's what brings us together because we all collectively hate everything. Yes. We hate New York. Yes.
Yes. But if someone else says they hate New York, I'm like, you don't know what the New York's the greatest place in the fucking world. You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. You'd never survive a day in New York. But like, and that's our thing. And like, we love that. New York is like a melting pot of cultures. And then we have like the finance bros, but it's mostly people that are just like busy and chill.
Trying to make it work Where LA is a very specific niche Of Midwesterners Southerners And California people and some angry New Yorkers Who are trying to live their dream In entertainment And I feel like in LA Walking down the streets of LA Everybody cares what everybody's doing In New York No one gives a shit about what anyone's doing You can take a shit on the street And I could walk by you And I don't care
Yeah. If that was your journey for the day, you're on it. You're doing it. If I could cry hysterically in the middle of Midtown and someone will like push me over. Yeah. And be like, it's a crosswalk. Move it or lose it. Break up with him or don't. Say you don't. I don't give a shit. Just get out of the crosswalk. No, seriously.
Like and I love New York for that I love it But has LA changed you? Do you feel differently about LA after spending like two weeks? And not to sound like the most cliche bitch in the world But like the weather It's a different quality of life when every single day it's 75 and sunny
True. Except you don't get to have cute fall trench coats. They don't have seasons. And also, I don't love that you can't walk places. I do. I do. People just think I'm homeless, but I do. Yeah, but it's just like I rather like walk to lunch than like walk back to my apartment. Like I don't like the drive. The whole Uber life or like obviously I can't drive. I'm going to LA at the end of June for like a little podcast. Oh, that'll be fun.
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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash Giggly. It'll be so fun. Tell me everything about the award show. How'd you pick the look?
I picked my look based on, I was like, okay, what is something that I would love to wear, but I would never wear it to any other event except something that was MTV related? So I saw this jumpsuit and
It had no lining in it. And I was like, ooh, could I like get away with it? And I was like, it's too much. So I had them put a lining in it. Then I changed the bottom of the pants because they were like tight around my ankle. I made them a flare pant. And then I was just like living my best like ice skater life. And I was here for it.
It really is. Okay. You know, when you're watching something and on a red carpet, you like, you hear the people taking the pictures and you hear them yelling like the person's name, like, oh my God, Kendall, Kendall, like turn this way, Kendall. I always wondered like, what if you're a photographer and you have no idea who that person is that you're taking a picture?
Before you step on the red carpet, they hold up a sign that says your name. So all the photographers... So that was a revelation. I was like, this is interesting. You guys have no idea who I am, but I'm here for it that you're yelling my name. Then you have to go to each person to do an interview. And I...
Just had had like I didn't want to like I was just like I thought that I was gonna love the red carbon I'm actually really stressed out by it and like I'm anxious and I don't want to do it
Did you do it with Craig or did you do together then solo? Like how did we navigate that? Did he hold your purse? Did he have his own main character moment? That's true. We talked about it before and he was like, what are you comfortable with? Because you're presenting and I just want to be like here for you. Craig has been very attentive recently and I...
I at first I was like yeah don't like cramp my style like I'm doing it by myself and then when I was on the red carpet I felt like a child looking for their parent on a playground because I was like this is this talk about stimulation overload I was like this is too much and like okay now let's do it together so that worked out well I saw Paris Hilton the woman doesn't age
The woman does not age. She eats poop like him. She must. There's something going on because she doesn't age. I saw the D'Amelio family. They very cute, very chic. I think that Dixie D'Amelio is going to be a fashion icon. Like in the coming years, I think that she is going to be on like the cover of Vogue. Like she's going to get to that status. Is she tall?
She's not tall, but like I think she has obviously they have like stylists and great stylists. But she has a girl factor. She is it girl like personal style. And she's like out of the box when she like gets dressed. How is her style different than Charlie's?
I see Charlie as like a like I mean she's a baby like she's a little girl. Dixie is a couple years older so I think she's had more time to be like what do I like what do I not like where Charlie is just like experimenting. Yeah she's just a little girl like she's putting on things that like she likes where I feel like Dixie thinks about it more. I also think the name Dixie is fucking epic. Iconic.
I did interview their mom on Burning in Hell once. Oh, yeah. She was like really cool. Did you have really down to earth? I'd love to know how she got the names Dixie and Charlie because I love them. Didn't ask. Yeah. I feel like a terrible interviewer. I mean, I love you listing everyone you saw. Who else? Give us a tea. Teffy was there. We love Teffy. Oh, we love Teffy. I hugged her and her rings got caught onto my outfit. So we just hung out with each other for like 10 minutes because we couldn't move.
And that was fine. Did anyone big time you? Anyone snuff you?
No, everyone was like, I mean, we were with all reality people. So like, it's not like we were with like A-list celebrities other than like Paris Hilton was there. So I felt like, oh, this is like fun. It felt like a high school reunion because it's like, oh, you guys were older than me. So I don't really know you, but I know who you are. Like, that's how I felt with the selling sunset people. I was like, oh my God, did you see Christine Quinn? No, she was the only one that wasn't there.
So I felt like I was like at a like high school function where I was like, I know who you are, but we weren't in the same grade. Yeah. Who I saw Kathy Hilton and like all the Beverly Hills housewives. There are a lot of housewives that I saw. I also like I'm not one to like go up and like introduce myself. No, because I'm just like awkward and I'm like.
What do I say? I remember BravoCon, we saw Lisa and her dog. And like, I feel like other people were like going up to them, introducing them, pitching them their business. And they were just like, that's cute. Yeah. Like, what do I go up and like shake your hand? I'm like, hi, Paige, sorry about Summer House. Like what? No, I'm not going to be like a weirdo.
The only person like I really did fangirl over was a couple from 90 Day Fiancé, Lauren and Alexi. And like I saw them as we were like pulling in. I was like, that's the 90 Day couple. So like that's who I was most excited to meet. How was presenting an award? How did it go? I mean, I loved it. I love every second of it because I also like I know how to read from a teleprompter. So I feel like that's what people are most nervous about, which like I didn't I wasn't nervous about that part.
And then like you go backstage before and you read like what you're supposed to read out there like into a microphone so that like the teleprompter guy can hear like what your pace is.
oh so that was interesting yeah he was like okay read this one so i can like hear you and then you go out on stage and they're like okay go and then you just and it's like such a weird it was weird because i've always watched the mtv awards like on tv as a kid who won the award that you presented jimmy fallon but he wasn't there to accept it so they showed like a video
oh i know um where was the party after my hotel room i went right to bed my outfit was so uncomfortable and so tight and it was so tight around my neck that when i took it off i had like i looked it looks terrifying it was so tight around my neck i orgasm
No, but it was really fun. But I think the number one thing I learned from being in L.A. is that we are taking pictures all wrong. Oh, yeah. Explain. So the next day, Craig and I go to lunch and I'm sitting next to these two girls. They were like in their 20s. Like it was definitely like they were like two best friends and they went to lunch solely to take pictures. And I respected the fuck out of it.
So the one girl was like, take my picture sitting at this table. So her friend across from her took her phone like this. Okay. Like you were about to take a normal picture. But then she took the other girl's phone, flipped it around to the camera so that the girl who's getting their picture taken could see herself and
And how she wanted to be angled. But she was actually taking the picture with the phone that was like this. So she had two phones back to back. One with the camera so the girl could see herself. And then the other phone was taking the pictures.
And you looked at Craig and you go, that's a best friend. I said, do you want to get to best friend status? They're living in 2045. You got to reverse engineer the photo process. I'm like, why didn't you think of that? It's amazing. I also learned about like, you know, Kim Kardashian, she posts content every single day, which is giving me JLo vibes where it's like, how much more do you need in this life? But she's,
Kim Kardashian, who's busier than everyone, is getting a photo out a day. And I realized that someone reported, like, she takes certain days of the week to take, like, tons of photos with different outfits. Which, like... Yeah. It's hard to get into a routine like that, though. It's strategic. It's organized. She also has a team of humans. It's true. It's also...
I love ordering clothes. I don't know if it's my ADHD, but I hate the act of opening it up and then having to try it on my body. And also, whoever you're with, everyone does the same thing. Like, do you think you could take a picture of me? And then you want to go so fast so that you're not putting that other person out. And then you start bargaining. And you can't do it with a boyfriend because if it's a friend, you're like, then I'll take a picture of you. But if it's a boyfriend, you're like...
I'll suck your dick. Like, I don't know if you get a little bit lower, I'll get lower later. Like, I don't like, how do we work this out? Remember when I had a tripod when I had trip? Yeah. What happened to trip? I don't know. I'm going to bring him back. You, I feel like me and you have both gone through different like social media moods and trends. I mean,
I only posted tweets for like three years. Now you're full glam. Did you see my relatable ass post the other day of my pimples?
Yeah, I was like, OK, when did she become a role model to all the girlies in the world? I did not think it was going to get the response that it did. But I was just like, I was just like, hey, I'm breaking out so badly and I feel like I'm so insecure walking this red carpet with my skin that people looking at the pictures are probably like, oh, my God, like her skin looks so good or like, oh, she like, oh, I wish I looked like that or something. And I was just like, I didn't feel like that at all. And I feel like everyone should know that.
I'm so proud of you for doing that because I feel like the page that I first met wouldn't have had the confidence to do it. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. You're a thousand percent right. Because like you don't need to now show people like that you're so hot or you're so confident. It's like you're just being yourself and it's I'm proud of you. I didn't wear a bra or underwear to the MTV Awards.
Obsessed with that. I'm obsessed with that. Every now and then I do click on like a filter. Yeah. Just to like because it's crazy technology to see what it does. Half of them I think they make you look uglier.
Some of them you look like a mosquito. I'm like, this is actually terrifying. My nose is a square. What's going on? But it's bad. It's bad. It's bad. And okay, now I need to have some shade on Kim Kardashian, who we love. We're a Kim Kardashian stan podcast and golf and skiing and tennis. But when she said, I will eat poop to look young.
I did not like that. But then she goes on to be like, buy my new skincare because I'm ready to share with you guys what has made my skin and my face look so amazing. And I'm like, okay, JLo and your fucking olive oil. First of all, it's definitely a lie. Second of all, give us your plastic surgeon, bitch. Because that fucking cocoa, you know, butter, whatever bullshit moisturizer is
did not change the shape of your nose and your lips and your chin and your cheekbones and your eyes go off and i'm okay with it i have you have changed me i'm okay with it but i'm about transparency i'm about honesty i get that and don't tell me don't kylie jenner the bullshit and be like use this lip and your lips are gonna look like mine no go to your doctor in orange county
Give a discount code. Also, when people say that, like, I've been using this forever. This is why my skin's so good. You just went and formulated something in a lab and you've been using it just yourself. Like, that doesn't even make any sense. How have you been using it for so long? I have a new theory about the Kardashians. Okay. They're a cult. The biggest cult. The most underground cult that nobody's realizing. They are controlling all the news. Yeah.
Like we've lost freedom of speech. Bring back our amendment. Kim is creating every single company. So like everywhere you go will be a Kim brand. And then they are creating compounds, not houses, compounds for them all to create like a full commune. Yeah. And someone related it. I think someone on TikTok was talking about how they're religious and how this is how like,
like religious wealthy people like to like keep their wealth and then i think about rob kardashian and i'm like he got kicked out of the cult like he can't be trusted with the information of the cult or he doesn't believe in the cult and that's how scott stayed in it for so long because it's a cult right and now scott's like kind of out no i i completely agree it is a cult
I mean, they control it. You could be in all you could only buy their companies and live. The only thing they don't have is like a food company. Think of when Kanye tried to go for president. That was terrifying. I forgot about that. Don't I will not be surprised. Kim has a lot of great. I will not be surprised. Give it like. Do you want to know what I actually thought? I thought that when Kanye started the Sunday services that that he was going to start a religion.
Like I was convinced that he was going to start something like Hillsong and that's how they were going to get like tax breaks on things. But that didn't happen. And I was like, wow, I was pretty, I was pretty adamant about that. So you know the Kardashians were Hillsong members. Were they? They were. People don't talk about it. People don't talk about it. Everyone talks about Chris Pratt. People don't talk about Kardashians. Wow. So I'm scared. Moral of the story is,
We're scared. I think we live in a simulation. Also, I date Craig Conover, who's like loves a conspiracy theory. We talk about them all the time. So right now we're on snow's not real and we never went to the moon. So that's where we're at. That's what we talk about on our hot couples walks. We're like, what do you think about squirrels? Are they real? We went to a zoo recently because our flight got canceled and there was nothing to do where we were. And he was like, there's a zoo down the street. And I was like, whatever, let's just go. We have like two hours. I hate animals, but.
I am convinced that zoos are not real. Zoos aren't real. I think that all the animals in there, they are made. Robots? Yep, they're robots. I was like, well. Zoos are problematic. So problematic. And I had never really been to a zoo before. I've been to like an aquarium. Yeah.
Justice for the fish I feel like people don't give a shit about fish And so I went to the zoo And I was just like this is Horrible This is upsetting And I was like I don't think that's a real animal in there
Well, the animals definitely are like... Some of them are drugged. Some of them are just like not happy. Totally. They're a lot of depressed animals. Absolutely. I was like, I feel like awkward being here. And he was like, yeah, let's leave. I mean, but it wasn't our fault. It was literally Delta's fault. So we were kicked out of our hotel. We were homeless. We had nothing to do. And he was like, let's go to the zoo. Okay. So then...
I'm on Instagram and I see all these things about like Megan Fox isn't like MGK anymore and I'm just like oh my god because of one video where she's like annoyed that he's speaking like if I had a fucking dollar if I had a penny if I had a penny where every time Craig spoke and I was just like oh that doesn't mean I don't love the man he's not my best friend but I do love him just because I don't want to murder him doesn't mean I don't love him yeah then
MGK came up on my TikTok, which never happens. Like I never, he's never in my algorithm.
So I went to his actual TikTok page. The most recent two TikToks that she is in that he posted, she hates him. She hates him. Oh my God, she hates him. Like he's literally just like talking and like laughing about something and you can just see in her face or she's just like... And then there's one where he's giving a toast and...
And she's looking down and she's holding the glass. And I'm like, I've made this face before. And that's the face of like, I have such the ick from you. And I don't trust people that act like they have so much sex, like talk about it so much. Cause I'm like, you're actually like not done. And I feel like they were very like, we like had sex on that table. And I was like, okay, it's in your house. Like I would assume like some weird shit happened on that table. Like, ah, you don't need to tell me.
You know how sometimes people say like a slow burn is good? I once had a guy tell me like, oh, I like you because it's a slow burn. And I really did not like that. I was like, wait, you're not like crazy hots for me. But I guess he meant like it's a normal progression of a relationship or some relationships. It feels like an actual drug and it's crazy. And I feel like she went on a post-divorce like journey.
Celebration with this like young fun guy. Yes. And that young fun exciting dude who you have the best sex with is not always the one who you want to like sit on the couch with and eat takeout. Right. Do nothing with which is right. Life is let's be honest. Most of life is us sitting on the couch. Yes. Like somebody this is actually this might be a little bit too much but whatever we're on a glace squad. Somebody asked me.
If who oh I think it was my mom Like it does Craig Make you laugh the most Of any boyfriend you've ever had
And I thought about it and I was like, no. My boyfriend from college. My boyfriend after college made me laugh the hardest I've ever laughed. But he was the most toxic human I think I've ever laid eyes on. Craig gives me that consistency of where I know I can laugh with him over a longer period of time. Yeah.
Because my first boyfriend that made me laugh so much, like I was over it after like six months because I was like, it's not funny anymore. Yes. So like...
I get the slow burn thing where it's like this is sustainable. I can't be laughing all day every day. I have a job, you know, I get things to do. But I know that like he will always make me laugh at certain points. We also I might have talked about this on Giggly Squad. That girl who said if you have less sex throughout the relationship, that's actually good.
Yeah. Like if it slows down because everyone's like, oh no, why is it slowing down? And it's like when you're in the beginning, obviously it's so much fun and you also need more affirmation that the guy likes you. So you're like, let's fuck, let's fuck. Oh, we're together. We have to fuck. Oh, we're together. Let's fuck. Yeah. And then you,
If you're not fucking twice a day, that's good because it means you actually feel secure in the relationship. And when you're still fucking all the time, that means that's weird. That means like you need the like drug of it all. And I would even I would say like
As it's like in and I'm not saying infrequent like you should be fucking once every three weeks like that's crazy. I mean like okay it slows down a little but you're still consistent but those consistent times are more intense. Yes. You know and that is like a deeper connection than like oh my god we had sex seven times today and I didn't look at you one time because I was
Reverse every single time like you know, like the more it's like more intense like you're like I ask about my day once But also if you're having no sex, that's another extreme where there could be something more but I think normalizing that you're in a comfortable relationship when You don't feel the need to get that affirmation from his dick being inside you all the time, right? Right when in the beginning you're just so excited about it. Yeah, you're like normal. Yeah
Totally agree. Wow. We just figured out all of world's problems. We just peeled all the onions. What did you write about Rumi Neely? Oh my God. Okay. When I was, I think I was in high school when fashion blogs first started. I followed this girl. Do you remember Tumblr?
yeah okay i wonder if i have a tumblr i wonder if our tumblr pages are still up oh my god oh my god i need to like photos of the subway and like quotes about like life not making sense oh my god i need to like google my tumblr page i think it was called i think my tumblr was called next page so fucking artsy no i can't but anyway um
When I first was on Tumblr, I followed this girl and the name of her Tumblr was Fashion Toast. And she ended up starting a brand, R-U-M-I. And I've just followed her for years. I've followed her for like over 10 years. So obsessed with her, whatever. She DMs me the other day. No, it was like a full circle moment. She goes, hi, I'm a new giggler. I'm obsessed with you.
I literally started tearing up and Craig's like, what's going on? I was like, you don't understand. This is my best friend. This is my best friend. Just DM me. I was like, she's like one of the reasons I thought like I could work in fashion because I just thought like she was so in like, I just loved her style. I just thought she was so artsy. Like I just loved everything about her. She's a fucking giggler. So anyway. So she has an incredible sense of humor.
she obviously has i just pulled up her instagram yeah she's chic as fuck it's r-u-m-i i don't know if she pronounces it rummy or roomy i think she actually just recently got married because her new last name is dowson d-o-w-s-o-n she's so cool she i even showed craig her instagram he was like yeah she is really cool he was like you love cool girls and i was like i love her
So anyway, so I have a new best friend. Craig's still out. Literally everyone in the world has been called your best friend once, except Craig. Oh my God. The other day, Craig was like, someone DM'd me and they were like, Craig is so much nicer about you on his podcast than you are about him on yours.
I felt so bad. That's not my problem. I know. And I was like, sorry, we have a comedy podcast. And I asked Craig, I was like, do you talk about me on your podcast? And he was like, yeah. And I know you talk about me on yours because I get so many DMs about how you're mean to me.
And I was like, take it as a form of flattery. If I was nice about you on my podcast, that means we're probably about to break up. Yeah, if you're like, oh my God, he was so amazing last week. I'm like, she hates him. Yeah, she hates him. Hates him. Okay, perfect. We have enough time to talk about shit you guys have to watch this week because I went in. I just watched Fire Island on Hulu. Bowen Yang from SNL written by Joel Kim Booster.
Who is... I'm like so attracted to for some reason. Okay. He's gay, but he's so sexy. It is such like a fun, like feel-good movie with so many... Like I laughed out loud and it takes me so much to laugh out loud in a film. I get that.
It takes me so much. And I laughed out loud. And then you have the out-of-body experience where you're like, oh my God, I'm laughing out loud. That was really fun for me. So Fire Island, if anyone doesn't know, it's like this island right off Long Island where the gays go to party. I know Andy Cohen loves a Fire Island vacay. I've never been there and I feel like we would thrive. We would definitely thrive even though we're not their demo. Actually, we would thrive. And it made me really want to take the salami squad.
I think the salami squad takes just new cities in the country is a show that I would watch. Upset. Giggling in bed brought to you by mattress firm. Sometimes sleeping next to your boyfriend or girlfriend is the most amazing experience ever. It's so lovely to watch them be so peaceful, except when they're snoring so loud. And I think to myself, how are you even sleeping because you're ruining my day?
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Welcome, friends, to the Playful Scratch from the California Lottery. We've got a special guest today, the Scratcher's Scratch Master himself, Juan. Juan, you've mastered 713 playful ways to scratch. Impressive. How'd you do it? Well, I began with a coin, then tried a guitar pick. I even used a cactus once. I can scratch with anything, even this mic right here.
See? See? Well, there you have it. Scratchers are fun no matter how you scratch. Scratchers from the California Lottery. A little play can make your day. Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim. Okay, now to get a little darker, I watched a documentary about Janet Jackson. Wow. And, like, just justice for Janet. They just talk about how this woman was the star of everything. Yeah. And then...
The Super Bowl thing happens and everyone blacklisted her. Everyone. No one blacklisted Justin. Justin has gone on to be so successful. I would say his career like only thrived after that. Yeah. Apparently, apparently he immediately apologized to her. She like took a second because also like it wasn't her to like everyone. Got it. Like the NFL to the people watching because everyone got so mad.
And she took a second because like also it wasn't her fault. It wasn't her fault. Right. She stood there. Justin Timberlake pulled the thing. Apparently they they everyone's kind of blaming other people. Apparently her stylist changed the outfit right before. But like then she kind of came out with an apology just saying sorry to like America. And I think that networks got so mad that like she embarrassed them and
Imagine having to apologize to America. Not in the Academy. Not even the Academy. If you don't show your nipple now, it's considered like a rude performance. So it was she was before her time. I just couldn't imagine that the mental health of her after that. Like you have to apologize to America for something you didn't do. America gaslit her. Yeah.
everyone gaslit her we're a bunch of gaslighters to this day her career is not the same and to all these fucking journalists and media people who like during the free britney thing was like oh my god how could the media be so mean to britney and then like immediately find the next girl they're trying to take down it's all like a click baby thing to like people to click on that article and then you read the article and you're like wait that's like not even what the headline was and so like and most people only read headlines
Yeah. And society is so much more fascinated with like taking down a like woman who's expressing herself than the guy. Somebody called me body positive for my outfit at MTV Awards. And I was just like, wow. Thank you so much. Okay. Now getting darker, getting darker. It's called Wild Crime Murder in the Rocky Mountains. Are you okay? No. Wild Crime Murder.
Where are the Rocky Mountains? I don't know. I would like to propose that every mountain is rocky. So like good one on naming that. Goes to L.A. and hikes once. Thinks she knows mountains. Okay. So this guy makes this woman who's like a doctor move to Colorado with him. Red flag.
Takes her from her job, surprises her for their anniversary to take her to a cabin and
Where there's hiking. Red flag. Ew. Yeah. People. Divorce. People say he literally looked like MGK and Megan Fox. Where like he was all like, oh, I'm surprising her in the office. And she definitely was looking around like, why is he here? I'm like uncomfortable. Oh, my God. But they were like, it's OK. Like, take a look. Were they engaged? Were they dating? They were married. They were married for years. Oh, OK. They've been married for years. OK. But he calls the police.
she had fallen this bitch didn't fall this bitch like fell like it wasn't like he tripped you they went to some like spot that you're not supposed to go to to like then don't go then then don't go see this is where i follow the rules if there is a spot in a mountain where you're not supposed to go i'm not going absolutely not like i'm
call me not spontaneous cool i'll put it on my grave i'm not okay nope i don't want to go go to this place oh i can't even go on a fire escape and i'm like no and they show like he took pictures right by where she fell and then she took photos so like he definitely like stand here like take the photo
And he definitely pushed her, but people didn't. They weren't sure. They do more research into him. They find he had an ex-wife who also died in a mysterious accidente. No. He was fixing the car and she dropped something underneath it and the car fell on her, basically. What? What?
And then they find out that he took out life insurance on both of them like months before. This is why we do research, ladies, on murder docs. And so this man is like a full scam artist and accidentally murders women. Now that you're married, do you guys have life insurance? I asked Des and he got a little weirded out. Ha ha ha!
And you're like, and also... There's no smooth way to be like, do you have life insurance? There's a cabin I'd love to take you to. He does. We've been like pretty casual with...
with that stuff but there are life marriage is very about like laws and shit it's like a very official thing apparently your taxes get better oh that's good because we hate taxes because we hate taxes final final thing i washed is so it's not funny it's horrible but kristen kristen chenoweth okay um i think it's hulu it's called into the ashes
I love Kristen Chenoweth and I love that she made this whole murder of three Girl Scouts about her the entire time. She starts it off and she's like, I lived in this place and I was supposed to go to that camp where the girls died. Yes. Okay. I saw this. And you're like, what a coincidence. But then she starts every episode explaining that same story to you. And then she has like a singing part in it. Like,
i love someone who knows their audience though you know true and at first i read some articles and people were like it's disgusting she made these mergers about her there are a lot of like selling sunset slow-mo vids of her just like walking out of a car like like looking hot like walking along the path or whatever main character i think it's main character entry and i think more people watch this because because of her well yeah of course
And like she obviously didn't... It's something that did traumatize her. But yeah, you find out these three girls, one of them like didn't want to be there. Everyone had their own story. They are the cutest girls too. Don't you like...
So funny. My mom wouldn't let me go on any overnights for Girl Scouts. But I think that's because she didn't want to have to chaperone and go. That's a different thing. But, you know, she also safety pinned my patches on my vest. So that's a whole different thing. But what is this on? I would actually love to watch this one because I love her. It's really good. I mean, there are some times where it's like you can tell they're trying to get more episodes out of it. But these three girls get murdered and they don't know who did it.
But isn't it funny when someone starts something and they're like, okay, what I'm about to tell you is not funny, but you're laughing. Don't laugh. Because then immediately you have to laugh.
It's not funny. It was just an interesting creative choice having Kristen Chenoweth like in between because you keep wanting her to say something deeper, but it's always like it could have been me. And I'm like, yeah, it could have been Paige. It could have been literally anyone. But it's not funny. It definitely changed the town and it's not funny at all. But overall, this was a funny podcast. I love you guys so much for listening. Now, this was hilarious. Yes.
This overall Contextually That was not funny In full picture Very funny I'm always gonna bring you The disturbing docs You guys know that We love you Thank you so much For giggling with us We'll talk to you later Bye Bye