Giggling about NyQuil, going blonde, and best guy friends
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my G-spotters? Did I say that one already? I have no idea. No, I feel like I'd remember that one. I want to manifest having our moms on. No, we have to have them on. That would be so cute. My mom is, like, so scared. It's so crazy that I came out of her because, like, I love all the attention all the time, and she's so not like that. But your mom one-on-one is, like,

Like, she's really outgoing. I feel like our moms on this, if we warmed them up right, would be savage. Like, a couple wines...

Because let me tell you, my mom has opinions. She has opinions and she has opinions on like the pod. Like she'll text me and be like, you've been funnier. Like she'll text me and be like, was really funny this week. Keep it up. Oh my God, my mom should be like, this week was a really funny one. I go, what about the other weeks? Yeah. Sometimes she'll be like a little dirty, but like I get it. Right.

I do have to say, you guys, it's taken me years to get Paige to the point that she is today. And I'm truly proud of you. No, literally. I can let my freak flag fly with you. Thanks. Okay, quick note. We have our first live show, two live shows in Philadelphia in two weeks. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. We're getting stuff ready. We're preparing. We're getting stuff ready.

I've booked our hair and makeup. The hair and makeup's good. Booked. And that's all that really matters. It really is. Because if we bomb, we will look stunning. We've planned some fun games. It's our first live show, so it might be a shit show, but the best kind of shit show. Here's how I picture it. I picture it like that. Do you remember during quarantine when we had a Zoom party and I threw up?

Can you believe that? I think Perry broke up with you that night for a second. No, literally. It's so funny not to like compare relationships because everyone, every relationship is very different. Everyone is a person for them. Yes. And you learn things from each relationship and I don't regret any of them. But Craig will like always make fun of me that like,

Like, do you remember when I wasn't drinking a little in quarantine? Like, I wasn't drinking during quarantine, and Craig, like, always likes to bring it up. Like, oh, remember when you didn't drink? And I was like, okay, shut up. Well, you just weren't getting hammered the entire day because we had to perform on Giggly Squad at 10 p.m. Right. And him and Austin would black out at 3 p.m. Blacked out. And ask us how we managed to be so consistent with our lives. And I was like, is this a trick question? No, literally a trick question. Yeah.

And so then thinking that like the night we had the party, the Zoom party, and I blacked out and then violently threw up all night. Like Craig would be so proud of me. Like I don't think he knows that story, but I think he'd be really proud. You were in a place where I guess you were trying to be healthy or something. And I went to visit you at the Hamptons house you were staying at the time. And I remember you got drunk and you went up to me and you go,

I'm really drunk is that okay and I was like um you're like get out of my room I'm trying to poop remember the night I put you to bed one time Hannah was at my Hamptons house and I was too drunk and I wanted to go to bed so I went up to her and said it's time for you to go to bed and she was like okay oh my god we both have been on a lot of flights recently yes

So you wear this like black hat. You look like an L.A. movie producer. Okay, anytime I fly, I have to wear a hat. It's very like...

TMZ of you. It's just because like if I'm not wearing a hooded sweatshirt, then I have to wear a hat because I like to like put my head literally like to get in the fetal position on a plane. And like I love where people get really mad about the masks on the plane. I fucking love it. I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to feel like I have to talk to anyone. I want to have my headphones in. I want to be in a ball and I want to sleep. Do you sleep well on planes?

Yeah, I actually had this conversation with someone the other day. I've never once sat next to someone on a plane and talked to them, even if I know them, even if I'm traveling with them. Even if it's my boyfriend. Yeah. Don't talk to me. This is an alone time situation. I can't hear. What are we going to talk about? Like.

Des and I have situations that we will perform and then we have to go on a plane. And like, you know, when you're all performed out. Yeah. And we'll just we'll speak in like. Yeah. Like that is. No full sentences. Yeah. Don't. We can't talk. So I made a mistake.

And I booked a red eye from LA to New York. Can you explain why that's wrong? Because everyone's like, big mistake. And I was like, I make a lot of mistakes. Here's the only reason why it's not wrong for people like us. Most people do it and then go right into their office.

Oh, okay. Yeah. No. So like we can come home and then go to the bed. So like, but I just hate red eyes in general. But Paige, I'm amazing at sleeping on flights. Cause I grew up like sleeping on the subway. Like anything that moves bitches asleep. Yeah. If you just like sway me back and forth. So you took one last night? Friday night.

I also overdid it. I did one, two, three, five podcasts in one day. You know what my dad would say? You spread yourself too thin. Spread myself too thin. Yeah. It was like food. I was like, ooh, I'm going to order all this food. And then the food came and I was like, I fucked up. But I sit on the plane and I realize...

I'm not sleepy. My throat kind of hurt. I got a COVID and flu test. But like, you know, when your throat hurts and you're like, I can't. It's just like from being run down. Yes. And then it was like hot in the plane. And then I had my mask and I was just breathing my own hot air. And I watched Cruella. For the first time? For the first time. Would you think? Didn't love it. I'm not Burner.

What's your middle name? Lucy. Lucy. I felt like it was chaotic. Okay. It's very chaotic. I loved it. It's actually probably my favorite Disney movie. If I told you right now, what was the storyline? Could you remember? Yes. It's how Cruella became Cruella. But like how?

Her mom died, so she had to avenge her mom's death. And really, she's mean because she was mean to that older woman who was actually her real mom. Sorry, spoiler alert, but whatever. It's a Disney movie. See, it's already way too complicated for me. Disney movies have to be simple, like The Little Mermaid, Eric Wanda, Fuck a Fish. Keep it simple. So anyway...

When I watch Disney movies, I put them on high standards. I'm like, is this going to be something I show my children one day? Okay, so what is your all-time favorite Disney movie? Mulan, because it's feminist. Do you know that I've never seen it? Paige. When it comes to Disney movies, I'm not a feminist. Lock me in a goddamn castle. You're like, I'm sleeping beauty. I want to sleep all day. And then a sexy man just kisses me on the forehead.

Send me to my fucking room for a thousand years until a handsome prince wakes me up. Look at my Instagram. Instagram Disney princess. I'm just going to post outfits and one day a prince will come. This is the funniest thing that happened this weekend. You know when you're with your boyfriend and like they just need like positive reinforcement. Boyfriends are really just babies that you happen to like find sexually attractive. The fragility. It's like.

But like you want to build your man up. I was sitting on the couch and Craig's favorite Disney movie is Aladdin. So he was like making us watch it, which I wanted to watch it. But like I knew he really wanted to watch it. So we're watching it and he looked at me and he goes, do you think I'm Aladdin? Are you a thief? Do you have an illegal pet monkey?

You lie about who you are? In my head, I was like, you are the cutest human ever. And I was like, do you want to be Aladdin? He goes, yeah. And I said, then, yes, I think you are Aladdin. And he was like, but why do you think that?

And I was like, you're just, you're so nice. And he's so nice. You need to write a thesis. Literally. It's like 2 a.m. I'm like stuffing my face with like carrot cake. I'm like, I don't know why you're Aladdin. Why do you want to be? See, I'm self-centered. I'd be like, well, am I Jasmine? It's exactly what I said. Yeah.

Wait, I love, though, when you... Something... I know people make fun of baby talk. Yeah. But, like, I go full baby talk. There's something about being with a significant other where you just, like, you become your, like... Like, I'm not like, fuck me. I'm more just like, hi, baby.

Yeah, I've never done baby talk when we're trying to be like, I left my stuffed animal at Craig's house and I whispered in his ear and said, okay, I'm only going to be gone for two days. Don't worry about it. Like, you'll stay here. And he looked at me and he was like... You're like, I left my stuffed baby with a little video camera in it, so...

Craig is like just catching on to how fucking psycho I am and it's actually so exciting. But I feel like he's on the same page as you. Like I feel like his energy, like you're the same person but with different genitalia. Yeah, like I said something the other day about a girl. I don't even know what we're talking about and I was like, whatever, I'll kill her. And

And he looked at me and he was like, but I kind of believe you. And I was like, are you turned on right now? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, fuck, let's go. I was like, I'm a psycho. Wait, that's like hot. Yeah. Oh, my God. So that's a little bit about us.

How did we get on this subject? Oh, watch Cruella. Yeah. And I'm sitting there and I'm just not, you know, when you decide you're not going to fall asleep. Yeah. I know that because I feel pressure that I have to fall asleep. I'm not going to fall asleep. So I don't fall asleep. I. So you didn't sleep the entire flight. Nope. Oh my God. Okay. So I get to my apartment 9am and my throat's killing me. Yeah. And I see a NyQuil. I'm going to tell you guys one thing.

NyQuil is a hell of a drug. Yeah. And I did not know this. It used to be worse. It used to be even crazier. They had to take out whatever the crazy shit that was in it. Oh, the like purple scissor? Yeah, it was basically chloroform. You just passed up. It's a street drug. No, it literally is. Because I was like Googling and someone was like, well, the kids mix it with, I'm like, what?

But I also was a little wild because I was so tired. I didn't put it in the little like cup thing that comes with it. Yeah, you just took a swig. I did a swig and it was like refreshing feeling. So who knows how much this swig was? Yeah. Okay, so it's 9 a.m. I know we hate doing math, but I'm going to explain. Okay. I fell asleep. Okay. The next time I woke up was 3 a.m. Of that night. That night. Oh. Because Des called me and he's in Ireland and he's like...

are you alive i've called you nine times did you know what day like what 3 a.m it was nope nope but then because i didn't even you know like you kind of wake up a little and you're like oh this bird yeah whatever nope yeah done butter was like asleep next to me she loved it he goes you need to go back to sleep or you're fucked yeah and i was like say no more fam wake up at 11 a.m

Hannah, oh my God. So I spent 26 hours? I missed a whole Halloween party. I RSVP'd yes too. Hannah, you didn't just miss Halloween, you missed Christmas. Des goes, Kamala Harris is president. Joe Biden died. Oh my God, your body must have seriously needed it.

I guess but then I like had I freak out when I can't control my body and I woke up and I was so tired and dizzy because you don't just wake up like a spring chicken after a 26 hour nap those like how do bears do it so so then for the next six hours I was just like fucked up like I was just like what the fuck then I started to watch maid and that gave me really bad anxiety yeah

It's sad. It's almost, okay, because I have my producer hat on, the reason I liked that show so much, one, I thought the acting was spectacular. It was. And two, I felt like, I read a lot of reviews about it and they were like, it's so repetitive in the beginning. Like,

We get it. We get it. Like, move a little faster. But I feel like they did that from an art standpoint to, like, show how real it really was. Like, how frustrating. I wanted to quit after three episodes. But did you keep going? I haven't yet. I had to go to sleep. Keep going because it is good. I'm going to be honest.

drunk men yelling at women is my trigger. It's triggering. Oh, her boyfriend is like... I was getting really upset when he was drunk yelling at her. The thing with the boyfriend is then you like him again and then you hate him again and then you're like, okay, he even fucked me over mentally. What I like is they didn't just play the stereotypical drunk, abusive man. They show that...

You don't just end up in a relationship with a drunk, abusive man. Like at first in the beginning, of course it's great. And then of course, like there's like, I would have forgave his ass immediately in the beginning when he's like, I made you food. I would have been like done. They also showed it in a very realistic way that there's like so many different forms of being in an abusive relationship. And,

The fact that he never actually physically hit her, but she was in an abusive relationship, I think was very, very important to teach girls. And by law, how it was so hard for her to be safe because he never physically hit her. Isn't that crazy? I would have been like, yeah, the wind of his punch hit me. Yeah, it's crazy. I would have just said he's violent. I've also never understood restraining orders before.

Like, OK, so if some if you get a restraining order against someone and then they come to your apartment, what do you do? Throw the paper at them? Like, I've just never gotten it. Like the time in which it takes me to call the police for them to come and get you. You could have killed me. You're so right. Restraining orders don't protect you, but they make the person think twice before they go see you because they know that they'll be in trouble eventually.

I guess, unless you're dealing with a real psycho. The show is, I think, extremely realistic because I feel like there's so, I know so many girls who have been in abusive relationships. Granted, they've never like walked out of it with a black eye, but that doesn't mean mentally they're not just as fucked up.

Oh my God, a thousand percent. I'm sick of these movies just like starting off with like girls running away from an abusive monster. And then people are like, well, I'll never be with an abusive monster. And it's like, no shit. Did you get to the part where she moves into the... Yes, the domestic violence shelter. Okay, and she meets that girl who she becomes friends with. And they said girls go back an average of seven times in domestic violence.

Fuck abusive relationships. Crazy was that. And that is so true. And guys, why do you think they're going back? Because of the mental, because the emotional control that's happening. It's a really good show. Not that we are not. We've both dealt with abusive relationships before, but I like just some warning signs. We're not experts, but like if you feel like you're walking on eggshells, if you feel like they're not.

Like you're scared to do something because of their reaction. Yeah. If if you feel like you're afraid to hang out with your friends. Yeah. If you're like afraid to even say something because he might take it the wrong way. Like you're in the start of something weird.

Well, it's amazing you said at the start of something weird because it does not just you piss him off and he hits you. That's not. Yeah, no, it's not. It's it's such a long road. It's honestly terrifying, but it's such a long road until you actually get to that first hit, which is crazy. And then after the hit, normally you get to the beginning of the road again. Yeah. Because he'll apologize. Yeah. Oof.

How do we segue out of this one? Oh, shit. NyQuil is a hell of a drug. I can't believe you slept for a thousand hours. Honestly, so jealous. Someone messaged me and said a giggler was like, I want to know what is on your and Paige's nightstand. I have decorative things. Really? And also my retainers that I never wear. I was about to say, my invisaligns.

I like to know it's there. I have books that I don't read. Like, I love buying books.

But then I don't actually read them. Yeah. But I want to be that girl who reads books at night. So I put it there. I have tissues. I even have like a reading nightlight to try and be that girl. Just in case. Just in case. But I know I'm not that girl. What else is by my nightstand? It's important to have tissues. You don't know if you're going to cry or come. You need a tissue nearby. I don't think I have tissues. I have a candle. I have like a vase of flowers.

You love flowers. You know what I recently bought? And, like, I don't want people to think that I'm, like, a sellout. But I did the research. And I wanted... I have these, like, three little, like, vases that are, like, minuscule on, like, one of my, like...

window sills and i was like i want these to always have white roses in them like at all times so i bought fake ones on etsy and they actually look so fucking real well etsy nails like that kind of shit but like is that trash am i trying no okay good small business small business you're supporting small business i'm helping the economy and i do the best

Especially with like wedding planning stuff, Etsy makes a lot of really cool, unique artsy stuff that isn't like overly expensive. If I was more creative, I'd be like bedazzling hair barrettes and selling them on Etsy. Like I just love Etsy so much. Yeah. Well, you'll have your own fashion line soon. Yeah. We're manifesting. Also, I did spend a week in L.A., so I have changed.

Okay, question. When you were in L.A. and you were just like being an L.A. bitch, when you touched down in the great state of New York, how did you feel? So someone told me I slept 26 hours because I needed the bad energy to leave me. Probably. Probably.

Your body was like, get this green matcha bullshit juice the fuck out of our system. Order some Chinese food and figure it out. Hot girls have IBS and hot girls also love drinking like 10 liquids at a time. I have so much tea. What? Do you remember when I sent you a photo?

Yes. From a night? Yes. Did you know what that photo was? Yeah, I did. But I think I was drunk when you sent it. And I was like, when is she sending? So I had one kind of epic night in LA where I had my first... Yeah, you sent it at 3 a.m. on a Thursday. Oh, that's LA time. Sorry, babe. I was on LA time. I know. I'm like, why is this bitch not texting me back? I was like, are we in a fight? Are we fighting? I saw something in Us Weekly. Are we fighting? Yeah.

So I played my first set at the Laugh Factory. Okay. Which was kind of cool for me because the last time I went there was to see Dane Cook with my mom. Wow. Oh my God. Have you seen him recently? He gets so much plastic surgery. Anyway, okay. It's so unfortunate. So I get to the Laugh Factory.

And I'm doing my first ever set. Sheena came to support. Sheena's the nicest person that ever walked this earth. Yeah, she really is. Sheena has no reason to be nice to me. Like, let's be honest. She's so nice. She could totally do without me. And she came to my show on Sunday at Flappers in Burbank. Came to my show again on Wednesday with Brock. They are like the most fun parents ever.

I like that they're parents and, like, they had a baby and the baby's, like, in their life, not, like, they're in the baby's life. Exactly. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And they look amazing. She asked me, she goes, Hannah, can you go to an event with me? And I was like, I'm so sorry. I have a comedy show. She goes to the event and the comedy show. Like, I can't keep up. Oh, no big deal. I'll do both events. No, I can't do things. With Sheena as a mom, I can't keep up. I was about to go on.

I see Chris D'Elia. Yeah. And I'm like, I didn't just see Chris D'Elia. It looks like another comic that was also there. This guy, Mark Hayes, who we love. Irish guy. Girls hit up his DMs. Six, three. And I was like, no, that was Mark. And then I'm like, I think that's Chris D'Elia. Now, the reason I was worried was because I have a full on joke making fun of Chris D'Elia in my set. Oh, my God. And it was him. Did you do it?

So I was like, this is, I don't know if that's Chris Lea, but it's not worth it for me to do this joke on stage, you know? So I don't do the joke. Okay. Thank God I didn't. I basically, long story short, call him a tall Lord Farquaad, highly accurate. And he would laugh. I think he would laugh. But the point is,

In New York, when would Crystalia just be walking in in a set? So anyway, I perform. Theo Vaughn was after me. Who? Theo Vaughn. Are you familiar? I'm not. Give me something he's done.

He's like LA comic Has great podcasts He just has a special out But he was on The Real World For like six years Back in the day So I was like Oh my god Reality TV turned comic Hi After being in LA Do you ever think You could live there?

I think I could because I've lived in Wisconsin before and Florida. Because they're so similar. I've lived in Florida and Wisconsin. Just because if you could survive in Wisconsin and Florida, you could survive in L.A. My thing with L.A. is I liked being around other people who were creative, entertaining people.

But there's never an off. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think it's fun to say, like, oh, I'm going to L.A. for work. Yeah. Like, that's the only thing I care about saying. That means you're making money. Yeah, you're like, oh, I'm just, like, I'm going to L.A. for a little and then I'm coming back. I don't know if I could ever actually live there. One, because I'm just, like, a scaredy cat of, like, going and meeting new people. And two, it's so far from, like –

our families and, like, our home base. This is the thing about L.A. If you have followers, you have friends. Like, as in, you are in every party. You're treated great. But it's, like, if you're going through a low moment. Yeah. Or, like, I met...

One of this reality guy from like Too Hot to Handle. And he was like when the show was airing, he's like, I went to like every party celebrities in my DMs. He's like, and then the show ended and like quiet. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it's a very just like it's superficial, but people know it. I don't know. I also hate that you can't like walk. Oh, yeah. Well, I walked everywhere in L.A. and everyone made fun of me. I know. It's weird because I can't drive. So I'd have to figure that out. Then I'm not supposed to bring this up.

But I did see sector of the Scientology church that's just for celebrities in Hollywood. And what was it like? Did you walk by it? Did you get a pamphlet? It was... I was so scared. I get scared of churches in general. But it was just like white. And it said like some weird name in it. And...

And it was very... It was scary. And then I went to this podcast across the street and I go, what church is that? And they go, oh, it's Scientology for celebrities. No, Scientology is so fucking terrifying. And apparently you can't really talk about it in LA like the way we talk about it. Because it's like...

Because so many people are Scientologists. Apparently there's Scientology recruiters that are at like acting schools. Like they look for like people who are like dreams are like not coming true yet. And they kind of like guide them like, look, Tom Cruise is in it. But it's very mid-level marketing scheme where it's like, see, these people are making a lot of money. Yeah. That's very Lula rich of them. Very Lula rich. Yeah. I'm trying to give you all the tea from L.A.,

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash Giggly. We had that crazy comedy night. I met Lindsay Pellas. Do you know who Lindsay Pellas is? No. So she was she dated Dan Bilzerian. OK, I know who that is. Basically, she's from Louisiana. She's like pretty girl from Louisiana. Where'd that guy go?

Can someone check on that guy? Yeah. I'm going to look him up on Instagram. He's probably doing the same stuff. Yeah, the same shit. Maybe he's just not in your algorithm because you're not a dude. I mean, I don't think I've ever followed him, but... So this girl, Lindsay, goes to LA, goes to a Playboy party, like very early on while she's in LA. A guy says, hey, Dan Bilzerian wants to meet you. She meets him. He goes, I like you. I'm going to blow you up.

And this was early on in Instagram. And within a couple days, she has a million followers on Instagram. I was just going to say, guess how many followers he has on Instagram? 8 million. 32.7 million followers.

That is a lot of bros. That is. I think that's crazy. Do you know that? I forgot to say this. My psychic said, we never talked about you going to the psychic. My psychic said that at some point when I, I'm going to have to go to LA for work and someone's going to try and trick me into the porn industry. She gave me like specific names too. She was like, if you meet a guy named this out there, don't trust him. I have it written down. I was like, that's fucking terrifying, but thank you. Yeah.

Dan Bilzerian just like, I don't know. So I guess he would like put these girls on and he would tag them and they kind of blew up. But since then, this Lindsay, she dated Justin Bobby. Okay. And I was like, oh, I dealt with that, but in a different situation. What does she, what does she do? So she, if Lindsay Pellis is one of the first like Instagrammy girls I've had on the pod on Burning in Hell.

But we had a mutual friend who was, like, Lindsay's great-year-lover. Her boobs are iconic. Okay. In what sense? I think she kind of invented the, like, bikini not fully fitting on your boob. Like, you have to see them. I'm looking her up on Insta. How does she spell Lindsay? Like, the normal way? I think it's E-Y. It's, like, Brittany. It's always hard. So she's just...

She kind of looked at me because I'm like... I was like, I think I want to be Guy Fieri for Halloween. That was before I slept through it. And she was like, oh, I'm going to wear lingerie. She goes, being Guy Fieri would be my nightmare. And I go, wearing lingerie to a party would be my nightmare. Yeah. And she's like, we were just put on this earth for different reasons. She's like, I was... She goes, I grew up like seeing a Hooters girl and being like, I want that. Or like seeing these girls like... Like she loved the sexy... We're like, I'd see a Hooters girl and I'd be like, what happened with her father? So like...

It's over. Like I would see, you know, Chelsea Handler be like, I want to be her. But it's just funny to see how like at one point I was like, do you ever feel like things are like demeaning? And then I kind of felt bad for asking her that because she was like,

this is what I love. Like, yeah, like I like doing it. She's like, I love showing off my body. I've never, I'm very in control and like powerful of what I do. I say no to everything. She has her own only fans that she like run ship. She has her own like beautiful home in, I don't,

I don't know where because I don't know where things are. And she's starting acting. And, like, she really is just like you and me. Do you not follow her? Why the fuck can't I find her? Because I want to see if I've seen her OnlyFans before. She probably blocked you. Are you... How many Only... Are you in OnlyFans? No, I don't have an...

OnlyFans who subscribes to you. Sometimes, like, I just want to see, like, oh, is this, like, a real OnlyFans girl or is this, like, a girl that just posts, like, pictures? This is... OnlyFans is, like, later in her career. Like, she's one of the OGs of being, like, hot on Instagram. And she sells her own calendar. I think...

Look, I totally agree with you. Like, each girl is put on this earth for a different thing. Like, I fucking love girly things. And I love, like, wearing sexy Halloween costumes. Do I want to have sex on OnlyFans? No, I personally don't. But girls that do, I think, oh my god, go and do it. Because it's probably way safer than you walking into some random porn casting office where, like, some guy...

Yeah. This is the thing. I texted you. She's not having sex on OnlyFans. She's not even exposing her labia. Like people have OnlyFans like just for feet. Like she has OnlyFans just like probably some nipple. Like honestly, her boobs are insane. Her boobs are insane. You could do OnlyFans and never show your face.

I mean, I'm not trying to get people to all start OnlyFans. It was interesting to see the world through her eyes. So guys, if you didn't understand what we were getting to, swipe up for Hannah and I's joint OnlyFans.

Our Patreon is our only fan. But she was so funny. I had to leave to go on my flight and she was like, oh, we're going out tonight. We're getting ready. They're doing makeup. And I'm like, she's literally like every other girl. Yeah. She just happens to have incredible boobs. Right.

And she knows that because I was like, why do you think Dan Bilzerian like took a liking to you? She was like my boobs. And I'm like, is it that simple? Most guys are just simple. But she's single, she said, because a lot of the guys she attracts think that thinks that she's going to be just like a blow up doll. And they don't want a girl who's like opinionated and powerful and independent. So she has to deal with that like.

I mean, this weekend when I was a blonde for Halloween, you missed it because you were sleeping. I did have a thought that was like, I'm an OnlyFans girl now because... You know, I actually did see you out as a blonde and I didn't want to call you out on this on the podcast, but I was a blonde in college and...

I feel like first it was with the brown turtleneck and this now it's too many times to be a coincidence that you're stealing my fashion. And I know fashion is your thing, but I'm starting to realize you need to get your own fucking inspiration. Okay. I'm going to tell you something. I got a bomb fucking blonde wig on Amazon. Like I literally saw people and they were like, hi. And I was like,

It's me. Like show them my brown hair and they're like, oh my God. Like it changed the whole shape of my face. Like I looked so different. Craig actually. Did you like it? I loved it.

I was very into it like for that night. Craig actually like there were multiple times during the night where he's like, I can't look at you like I actually like he hated it. He did not like me blonde whatsoever. And I was like, rich coming from you because I know for a fact that you love blondes. And he was like, I don't I don't like you blonde. Like he like couldn't wait for me to take it off.

I'm texting you something right now that is proof that you stole my look and I'm going to post it. Alana already posted it. Did she really? Yeah. She literally already posted this. Do you not check the Giggly Squad out? I was asleep, bitch. I don't, I like literally have no idea who I am. But look how similar we are. Dude, go to the, okay, I'm sure, go to the Giggly Squad.

And the caption is, who stole whose look? Yeah. And what are the comments saying? Because I need some people on my side. People were like, I don't get what Paige even was. Paige stole Hannah's, but you're both aligned in the universe now. Okay. Okay. The Gigglers hate picking sides. The Gigglers can't.

No, it was hilarious, though. Oh, my God. I just noticed, too, in this picture, you're also wearing a black strapless shirt. Okay, here's what happened. My costume got so fucked this weekend. Yeah, give me the... We have to discuss the Halloween recap. Okay, so obviously I was having, like, a whole situation with Craig because he didn't want to do any couples costumes. Then last minute he was like, I want to be Jasmine in Aladdin. And I was just like, where am I getting a fucking Jasmine costume in two days? And I was like, I don't know.

Anyway. When are we getting a Jasmine costume in four weeks? Get it together. So then he was like, okay, let's just be like punk rock people. And I was like, you know what? Cool. We're being Courtney and Travis. And then he was like, I heard you said on your podcast.

Does he listen? No, we have motherfucking snitches. Okay, anything we say on Giggly Squad is not going into Craig Conover's DMs. Please keep my secrets. I know you can't be managed, but where the fuck is the girl code? Yeah, I was like, who? Show me who DMed you. He was like, Paige, I'm not going as corny as Travis. Like, don't try and trick me. And I was like, okay, fine. If you want to be punk rock people, which he just wanted to wear eyeliner. And so I was like, wait a minute.

Literally, that's all that it was. Guys love eyeliner. He was like, anything that I can just wear eyeliner. And I was like, alright. Wait, as long as he's not a pirate. Yeah. Because pirates...

No he did at one point he did want to be a pirate And he was like you can be a wench And I was like I feel like it's an offensive term Okay you know what's happening We're in the same relationship Where we're both with a partner who has main character energy Okay Oh I love it You're not being a wench for Halloween Yeah I was like

Typically, it's like the girl's costume and the man is like the prop. The prop? Yeah, and he like... I was like, okay, you want to wear eyeliner? You be a Dalmatian. He was like, I'm going to be a fucking dog. I was just like, I'm not like loving the pirate thing. And he was like, okay, yeah, I actually don't want to do that either. Let's just be like rockers. And I was like, okay, fine.

Then someone snitched on me That like I was gonna be Kourtney So I was like Okay Why doesn't he just act like a girl Getting her makeup done at Sephora But only the Eyeliner part I had to do it Then he was like Paige you're not good at Punk rock eyeliner We got into a whole fight about it I was like

I was like, what is being good at punk rock eyeliner? And he was like, I don't know, but you're not. Anyway, after his third drink. I did. I actually did fuck it up, but I not dare admit it to him in the moment. And like, I put it on the on the top and it did look like a winged eyeliner. Like I made him look like a girl. He was like, this isn't it. And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. That looks amazing. Yeah.

No, I just did an eyeliner. So then I was like, whatever. You know when you're doing your friend's makeup and you're fucking it up and you're like, oh my God, no, it's great. And you're just trying to wipe it off. No, literally that's what I was doing. I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. It's fine. I just need to like smudge it a little.

So I ordered this blonde wig and I was like, whatever, I'll be Pamela Anderson. But I accidentally ordered an extra large corset top and like basically fucked myself. So my outfit was like awful, but I loved the blonde wig and I was drunk by the time we got there. So I didn't really even care. How was the party? Like what what venue did you go to?

We went to Z Club and we there was this DJ. It's called Cruella, which when he first texted me, he was like Halloween. We're going to go see Cruella. And I thought he meant like a live of the movie. Yeah, I was like, where are they playing the movie? I'm like, or is this like I'm going to Broadway. Like, what are you talking about? And he was like, it's a DJ.

And then that was Friday night. And then we stayed in all weekend. Like, I don't know how the kids are going out two nights in a row. I died all day Saturday. It was two fucking weeks that people were going out. People had three costumes. Four?

This is the thing. Everyone was Kravis, though. Yeah. And, like, it would have been cute for sure. I will say there was another girl at our table that was also Pamela Anderson. And she crushed it. She looked so good. But she did, like, the tights version where I wore pants because, like, you know, the last thing we needed. Did you like her outfit?

Not really. I'm sorry, babe. I know. You know how I feel when that happens. But I loved my wig, so it was, like, okay. So has Craig admitted to you, like, I'm a brunette guy now? Or does he still try to play both fields? Oh, no. He, like, has firmly...

Stuck in his Like ways And been like I like brunettes I've always liked brunettes And I was like Okay That's interesting You just made some mistakes Along the way Yeah I'm like Every single girl You've ever dated Is blah I don't look like Anyone he's ever dated And then he said to me The other day He was like No my girlfriend Freshman year of college Was a brunette And I go That was almost 20 years ago Sir What Sir

I had a crush on a brunette on the playground and I was like, what in the fuck? Oh my God. Did you see any good costumes you loved? Everyone was the same thing. Everyone was Kravis or... And like, here's the thing. I actually like doing costumes that are like movie characters or like celebrities that like it happened, like they happen to look hot in the costume. I'm not one of those girls. I mean, like post-college,

I'm not one of those girls that's like I'm a sexy flight attendant or like I'm a sexy nurse like I don't like those ones I want like a little idea I like going full well I was post Malone for 10 years you were great as post Malone but I also used to just be a bear so I would just I'm all about comfort on Halloween it's also like fucking cold outside not a teddy bear just a bear

So I'd wear like a brown sweatshirt, brown juicy pants so my ass looked nice. And then bear things. And everyone's like, are you a little teddy bear? And I was like, I'm a bear. Then I wanted to be Guy Fieri. Wasn't. But then Donald Prima was gay Fieri. I saw that. He did a great job. Which crushed. And then I kind of just want to have a baby. Knock on wood. Because I feel like that's not going to be helpful. People tell me I was pregnant because I slept for 26 hours. And I was like, this baby's lazy as fuck then.

Oh, I want a baby so I could wrap it up to be a burrito. Yeah. So I could wrap it up to be like a Subway sandwich or what I sent you a cannoli. Dude, you know that we're getting older because when like trick or treaters came last night, like I was just invested in what the babies were being. Like one baby was dressed as a duck and I was like, come into my home because now you're mine. And on Instagram, the only costumes I saved were babies so that I could remember. Yeah.

My favorite baby of all time costume is a baby in a pot with like lobsters. I was just going to say this. Oh, I'm going to do my baby in a pot with spaghetti on top of its head. Oh.

Like right out of the womb. You know you're getting old when a mom with an infant walks onto the plane and instead of going, fuck, you go, oh my God, that baby's so cute. So cute. So cute. So we're ovulating. Yeah. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks.

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Front page news. Let's do some. Okay. First of all, which is like the biggest story of the year right now. Did you see Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian were holding hands? I have thoughts on this. Yeah. Hit me with my thoughts. Only in celebrity world does a man and a woman hang out alone as just friends. When was the last time? Yeah. Besides maybe your best guy friend.

Do you hang out with a new guy? I guess just friends means like they're not anything yet, but that was romantic. Like they're a thing. This is a whole subject that I would love to actually have a full conversation on the pot. Like we don't have enough time to even dive into this. No. As an engaged woman, as someone in a relationship, how I actually feel about like friends that are girls or guys,

Guys that are friends Like As you get older It gets smaller And smaller On what I think Is appropriate Well let's just say Like Des for example Has friends

friends who are girls his best friend is a comedian who is a lesbian in australia so she's not only very far away but she's disgusted by him which is the only type of friend that's a girl that is acceptable to me i think and i know for a fact any guy who is near your age who you are best friends with one of you wants to fuck the other one and if people say no

They're lying. Like my best friend was Andrew Collins. Yeah. He's now in a relationship and I'm in a relationship and we do not speak how we used to. OK, let's put it. Let's put the shoe on the other foot. I have had multiple guy friends and a lot of them. I have never had sex with them. We've never even gotten close to that. But I would be lying if I said it didn't cross my goddamn mind. Like there's no way you didn't think like, oh,

What if that did happen? What would it be like? What does he look like? How would it like? It goes through your head. And I'll be honest, I love Andrew Collins personality. Right. Right. Like, so the thing is, if you find a man, you can't have a harem of men. No. And like, if you have a friend that's a girl, like, OK, Craig has friends that are girls.

Married, have babies. Yep. Acceptable. Yep. I can deal with that. Because this is the thing. Male attention and female attention are two different things. Like when I'm, when Des is getting male attention, it's what's it for? Catching up, talking about guy shit. I don't know. What's girl attention for?

you can get that from me. You don't need that from anyone else. Right. And for people who are like, men are fun for friends too. Yeah, when you want male attention, but once you have a man for you all the time, and if you find yourself wanting more male attention, that one man's dick isn't good enough. Like,

Like I had a lot of guy friends before. Not that I like when you're single. Yeah. Not like I killed them all. But like I had a lot of guy friends before Craig and I started dating. We're still friends. But in no situation do we text the way that we used to. Because even if there is nothing going on, like text popping up from another guy, like while you're with your boyfriend, like is just a weird situation to even explain. And I FaceTimed every day.

And then I slowly like stopped and then he kind of was like, what's up? And I was like, yo, I'm this is real. And he's like, I thought this does thing was a joke. I thought it was for reality TV. I also think it's very different, like younger. Like I think anything before 25, like, OK, there is a gray area. I do have a story that I'm probably not supposed to tell, but Andrew Collins did have a girlfriend.

And I was like his new friend. And I walked into a place and I'm not gonna lie, my nipples were very hard. No bra as one does in the summer. And I said hi to Andrew, whatever. And then he left with his girlfriend. And the next day he called me and he said, my girlfriend broke up with me because you because I looked at your nipples. Okay, cool.

I'm so glad you said this. If your boyfriend does have like a girl who is a friend, I think it is. And you guys are about to hang out. I think it is the boyfriend's job to be overly obsessed with you that night. Like if Craig and I are going out to dinner with one of his friends that's a girl and like this girl is single, obviously the whole time, this has never happened, but obviously the whole time I'm thinking like she wants to fuck my boyfriend and like,

This like I will murder her but like I would expect Craig to be even more like affectionate to me and like oh my god I'm obsessed with my girlfriend like yeah I want to feel like this was also a party it was like Nikki Glaser's party she was throwing and

And I was trying to get my nipples looked at by other guys at that point. Right. You were like, then there is a thing as like the friend that's a girl like, dude, I don't want your man. And like if I wanted him, I'd have like not my vibe. But also Andrew and I do have this like crazy chemistry together where like I love him. But we would never be together. But it's also still not appropriate when we have significant others. And he's now with a girl who's like,

Gorgeous, stunning. Yeah. Don't know how he did it. She is. I've seen her Instagram. She's very pretty. I just miss what we had as friends, but you just can't have that again. I mean, also, let's just be honest. When you're in a relationship and you really, really like that person, you're not even hanging out with other people. Like, I don't even see my girlfriends. No. Because I, like, so I'm certainly not seeing my guy friends. Like, I only care about him. Unless you're going to lick my pussy. Yeah.

Don't text me. Unless you're joining in the threesome, lose my fucking number. Also, like, it's just there's so many times recently where I've, like, been around girls and I'm like, you like my boyfriend.

Hello? You like my boyfriend. Like, it's just... But you used to like dating guys who were uglier than you. What's it like with dating a guy who, I'm not saying he's better looking than you, but like, he's very traditionally good looking. I actually love it. Are we okay? Like, walking into places? Maybe it's because you're very comfortable with yourself right now. I think it is. I think it's because, like, I have more confidence in myself that I love walking into places with Craig and people being like...

He's so... Like, when I get messages from girls being like, he's so fucking hot, I'm like, no, you don't understand. Like, sometimes I look at him and I'm just like, I don't even... I'm not even listening to him. It actually bonds the world, just appreciating, like, good-looking men. Yeah. Someone came up to me after the show and they go, how are you so ratchet and Des is so put together? And I was like, oh! Yeah.

Oh my god, that girl wanted to fuck Des. I've seen this meme before, but it's so fucking true. Like, I'm not flirting with you. I'm just hot and I'm talking. And talking. Like, I'm... I just responded to you speaking and...

At the laugh factory, there were like a ton of fuckboys. So I started fucking with them and making fun of them. And afterwards, like one of the guys when I was walking by, like grabbed my hand to kiss it. And I was like, that's my engagement ring. Yeah, like inappropriate. I didn't do any engagement jokes. Yeah. And I was like, I'm very engaged. And then I'm like, what does Des do? Because he doesn't have a ring. Hmm. Should think about that. That is interesting. Any other front page news? Did you see Dorit's Instagram?

from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills her house got I love how the cameras are on it they're like they're like don't give any information they can watch this on the next season of Beverly Hills how fucking crazy like I was trying to think like what I would do in that situation and like obviously you go into like a fight or flight moment like could you where was PK he was away and she woke up to like a guy holding a gun over her

That is so fucking scary. But also it's like you're living these public lives. Not to like, not to like it because it was a yeah, desensitize it. But my first thought and I don't know why this was my first thought. Would you pee? Like if someone woke you up, would you be? What if you got like, I feel like I'd get so scared if someone's I woke up to someone holding a gun over me being like, where are your jewelry? Where's your jewelry? I think I'd pee.

I know. I'd be like, I've watched a lot of murder docs about this. I know what's coming. You know, like I know what ever you surprise your body, I think kind of closes up. But when you die, I heard you do poop. Interesting. Like, I feel like I'd get so scared I would pee because I've even just like scared my damn self in my own apartment and felt like a little pee come out. I'm like, oh, I just got scared. How did you scare yourself? I don't know.

You can live alone. I get it. There's multiple times where I have been in my apartment and if anyone was watching me, it would literally look like I was playing squid games with myself because I'll hear something and I'll stop and be completely still for five minutes to see if I hear it again.

I'll be with Butter and she'll like hear something and I'll be like, what is it, Butter? No. I'll be like, is it a ghost? Butter, where's the ghost? It's so crazy because as I get older, I get more and more scared. Like I have a ring camera on my front door. I have like multiple locks on my door. And then I also have like an alarm on my front door that my mom bought. Did you buy the ring camera? I bought the ring camera and I bought the second alarm that like goes in my door. I mean,

I went to some places in LA and they have like gates and the like things and they have to but with being in the public eye like people can like hack and like find out your address no people are fucking crazy like my door is always locked and even like walking to my like in my apartment building like walking to my actual apartment you would think I was a Russian spy because I'm looking everywhere like I'm surveying the entire floor I've

I've gone as far as to like to round a corner and stop to see if someone was like following me to also round that corner. Like I'm crazy. I'm still on the pod. I said babe and Des was like what? Grow up Des.

It's not all about you. It's about the main character energy. Fuck you. Oh. What? I have to tell you, I told Des what we talked about. About that he's your second husband? I go, Des, we have this bit that you're my second husband. He goes, that's hilarious. And I go, and he goes, you know why? And I'm like, why? And he goes, because you're second wife energy. And I was like, oh, no, he did not. But he's totally right. I am second wife energy. Yeah, you are. I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah.

So I'm his second wife. Wait, I kind of love this role play that you guys are doing. We have a full role play. He's like, you're my second wife. I love that. That makes it fun. Is there anything else? No. No. Look at us nailing an hour. We love you guys so much. We're going to announce more locations for our tour dates for Giggly Squad. Yeah, coming very soon. In the meantime, I'm in Florida and Raleigh.

I keep saying Raleigh. Raleigh, North Carolina. That was a British. North Carolina. That got British. Yeah, it got British real quick. That was a little bit of your love island. Shoot. And yeah, I did a lot of pods for Burning in Hell. My India Oxenberg one's going to drop on Wednesday. Awesome. And we'll see everyone next week, I guess. We love you guys so much. Thanks for giggling. Bye. Bye.