Giggling about our most embarrassing moments, cults, and being unorthodox
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What is up? G to the I to the G to the G to the L to the E. R-S. What's up, my gigglers? Gigglers. Oh, E-R-S. Got it. Didn't know what you were spelling there. It's okay. We both can't really spell, but that was...

That was fun. By the way, you ever go outside and you see a giggler and they just yell to you, I'm a giggler? Yeah. And you're just like, yeah. Giggler squad. And I'm just like, I feel like we're in like a secret cult. We are. You just like look at a girl and go. Do you ever look at a girl and you make eye contact and you both start smiling because you both know?

And the girl's like, and I'm like, no, I know. They're like this multi-level marketing scheme is dope. I did warn Paige. I did have pad see you in the middle of the day. If you haven't had pad see you, it's Thai. It's like thick noodles with beef. Hannah loves Thai food. I love Thai, but I'm going to do it. I'm in a food coma right now, but I sometimes do my best pods in a food coma. Paige, how are you?

Good would be a strong word, but bad would also be a strong word. I know exactly what you mean. I'm just going through the motions. Yeah, you're also wearing a baseball cap, which makes you look like a Hollywood producer. Thank you. Me and Rand. Oh my god. I just imagined you next to 50 Cent, like promoting a video, or like fighting with 50 Cent on Twitter. Could you imagine? Yeah.

Side note, there's two types of girls. And you're consistently this one type of girl who can pull off a fucking hat. When I wear a hat, I look like I stole it from a kid in a little league. And it never fits my head. It always looks just...

upsetting and then when I wear a normal like a pullover hat I look like a condom I don't know like a like in the winter like a beanie a beanie I look like a condom I highly doubt that I'm sure that's all in your head I love baseball hats and I wear them all the time and my mom says Paige baseball hats are for baseball games and

And I'm like, yeah, I'm trying to date a Yankee. So yeah, literally trying to date a Yankee. What's going on with the girl across the hall? You wrote it. Oh my God. Okay. This is like so many weeks ago. I forgot someone. I watched it all from across my window. It's now a Netflix movie. I love her. She, we are doing the cutest thing. I literally have a relationship with the girl across the hall.

She slipped a note under my door and said, I listened to Giggly Squad. I absolutely love you. Come over anytime. Like if you want to drink, if you want to talk, literally anything. I slipped her a note back under her door and I was like, oh my God, obsessed with you. Anytime I have people over, I'm going to knock on your door. We exchange numbers. She's my friend. Wonderful.

Fun fact, Paige doesn't have people over because she doesn't like people. Not true. She did. Not true. I randomly had an after party last weekend. I went out on a Sunday, which was wild. I went out on a Sunday and I was just like, does everyone want to come back to my apartment? And I was like, wait, why did I just do that? We called that in college a barring.

Have you ever heard of that? No. I think it was a Midwest thing. They'd be like, where are we? A barring. And it means like after bar. That's so dumb. Midwest. Cause that's so weird. I say that loud. I realized someone should have punched us in the face, but it was like, who's a barring. Yeah. Um, I love that for you. Also, we're going to tan on your rooftop. Yeah, no, we have to. They have like lounge chairs.

that's amazing because yeah new york in the summer is horrible unless you're on a rooftop which is pretty and they have like a waterfall we could like i don't know if you're allowed to touch it but we could why did i just envision like a sports illustrated type photo shoot page please go back to your apartment instagram model get away from the waterfall we've literally had enough of you and then i'm just drinking it because i'm dehydrated

Okay, we have crazy shit to talk about on this pod today and it's going to be a little all over the place. Buckle the fuck up, gigglers. I love it. Kraft mac and cheese ice cream flavor. Saw it on Instagram. No. Oh, I wrote that down. I forgot. I didn't try it. Multiple people said they liked it. Where do you get it? I don't know. I just look. Nobody loves cheese more than me. Yeah.

Maybe you. But like I fucking eat cheese at every meal. It's bad because I'm kind of lactose intolerant. Well, I was going to say, if you're blocked up. Yeah. Have some Kraft mac and cheese. If you're on vacation, you get blocked up. If you're stressed up at work, eat that Kraft mac and cheese ice cream and it will go right through you. Wow. I actually have Easy Mac. I'm going to make it tonight. I feel like I deserve it.

You do. Maybe it tastes like a cheesecake, but like yellow cheesecake. Interesting. Maybe that is the consistent, like that is the taste. I'm very, very interested in the taste though.

Yeah. Like I would buy it just to be like, what the fuck is this? I kind of wanted to do a fun video series where you take like gross shit like that and put it on a fancy plate and serve it like it's gourmet and see how like people react. I would eat it and be like, oh my God, five stars. Oh, I love the nuance of the synergy of flavors. Is this Michelin? Okay. Next.

Instagram grid aesthetic. Yeah. How is your Instagram grid aesthetic going? I don't love mine right now. It's so weird that you bring that up because I literally talked to my therapist about it. And I was like, you know, I feel like I'm just really hard on myself. Like I don't love my grid. She's like, okay, you have weird problem. When Paige does her grid or her outfit, everything's off. I'm really not into my grid right now. Honestly, I'm not into my grid.

What about it don't you like? Because I feel like every photo you post is so epic. It's not cohesive. And I literally, Perry and I, wouldn't fight about this, but he would be like, are you stressed about your grid? And I would be like, yeah, honestly, I am. And he'd be like, it's okay. So the reason Paige and I are best friends is because if you look at my grid, what kind of emotions does it bring you? You don't give a shit. But you have a different, people come to you for a different thing.

So like you can have a grid that's like all over the place. That's like just funny shit. People like think that I'm a curated human. Little do they know. I'm literally disgusting. Oh my God. Wait, I saw my dermatologist boyfriend today.

Honestly, it's the most consistent relationship with any man that I have in my life right now. Because you want to know what? He's amazing. He's amazing. He doubled my... Doubled my dose. He was like, I think we can put you up to the stronger dosage. You're like snorting whatever shit he's giving you guys in the bathroom. He's like, I'm going to take a Viagra. You're going to take this. Would you hit on him? No. Why? It's not like... He's your boss. I know, but I feel like he's so nice and like...

quiet and just like timid a little bit and I don't want to ruin his like pureness but you want to know what he's consistent he asked me if I was free next month I said yep we made a time and a date and I'm going back it's already booked it's confirmed with his assistant he was like now pick this up at the pharmacy and I'll see you back in a month and I was just like I love you

I love that for you. Cause he also smells nice. You like the UPS guy because he was consistent and now I'm seeing a pattern. Oh, I loved the UPS guy. Yup. And he would bring Amazon, which is like on the top of your list. An absolute dream. So I really appreciate you asking about my grid. Thank you. I wanted to let you know that I do actually have an aesthetic. It's me. What it is. My aesthetic for my grid. I'm literally going to your profile right now. Are you ready?

It's Zara website chaotic. Bro, that is literally what your grid is. Your grid is in the Zara app. It makes no sense.

It makes no sense. We don't... It's not user-friendly. We don't know what's really going on. It's not user-friendly. You, like, want to like it and you want to enjoy it, but it irks you. Sometimes I'm just like, what the fuck's going on here? Wait, I missed this picture of, like, the four couples. It looks like one couple. Wait, you missed it? Okay. So...

Everyone sends me Ryan Serhant and his beautiful Greek wife. She is stunning. Saying that it reminds me of them of me and Des. And then everyone sends me Vanessa Grimaldi, who was on Nick Viall's season of The Bachelor, and her Silver Fox. Oh. And then I joke about like David Foster and Catherine McPhee's aesthetic, like paparazzi. I'm like, that's my vibe. Yeah. And then I also found, who is the fourth I found? Oh, me. Me and Des. Me and Des.

Then Portia messaged me. She's like, I have a zaddy too. And I was like, okay, well, he does have a gray beard. So he's in the Silver Fox Club. You know what's crazy? He's like, I had one too, but like no one knew. No one knew because his hair wasn't gray. Yeah, because honestly, I will give Perry this all day long. In no way did he look 10 years older than me. Like he looked like he was 30. Yeah.

We get a lot of flack. Is flack the word? A lot of flack. Because Des has gray hair. But it's funny, when Des shaves, he looks really young too. But anyway, I was just trying to normalize the aesthetic of zaddies. I love that. I think I need one. You know, I'm done with these children. Yeah, I just posted...

You know the Kim Kardashian TikTok where she's like, it's actually a full-time job. Yeah. It's really difficult. And a lot of people don't understand, whatever. I said that's dating guys in their 20s who don't know who your clitoris is. It's a full-time job. It really is. They're just in a different...

They're just in a different life space. Okay, that's why I was laughing before because on this pod, we've all said things that we later change our minds on. And you were like, I've never wanted to just party more. And I do not want to talk to anyone. No one should ever take my advice or listen to me because I am the most fickle person ever. I will be in love with someone one day. As you know, I was like talking to someone about plastic surgery, ranting about plastic surgery as one does. Yeah. And I realized...

You can look like every other girl. You could try to be a cool girl. And that's a generic human that no guy is going to be like, wow, that girl has something different that is authentic to my differentness. Like that girl's X factor is my X factor. Yeah. So you have to be so authentic to yourself for someone to even see something like, yeah, I think like Des, I cried to him on the phone every night at summer house when we were getting to know each other, but he saw me crying.

At my most vulnerable, which no guy's ever seen me vulnerable before. Yeah. Does that make sense? So, like, he thought it was... I was talking to another guy. He was like, he probably thought it was attractive that he saw, like, wow, this girl's being so fucking vulnerable with me and I respect that. But again, if he's the wrong guy, it wouldn't have worked. Wait, that is actually...

Okay, let's... He saw my fucking open sore. Let's like... Not my vagina. Yeah, I just got like a visual of like your vagina having like oozing weird things. I was just like, oh, I'm comfortable. That's what I call my vag. Open sore. I was like, ooh, UTIs. I always...

prided myself on like talking to guys and being like I'm a cool girl whatever I'm not like those other girls like I don't give a fuck like do what you want cool like let's keep it moving and recently my mom has been like stop always trying to just like be whatever about it and be cool like are you pissed off fucking tell them you're pissed off and I was just like

Can I do that? Like am I allowed to do that? Because guys have given girls Such this fucking stigma of like You're crazy And like you're too emotional You're annoying You're a ball and chain Yeah like oh my god She's always texting me And blah blah blah I have a really hot take That I've never said out loud Wow You know like the guy who's

you think is really hot and who's with a girl. Yeah. And she always seems like slightly annoyed with him. Yeah. Like don't girlfriends always, the one who gets the guy, doesn't she always seem slightly annoyed with him? Yes. She's like, ew. I think it's because like she's fucking real with him. Yeah. Like you are, Des, I was such a cool girl. Like I could be so pleasant for six months. If it was like,

Too hot In the room I wouldn't be like Can you turn the air conditioning on Like I would just be like We're fine Where Des was the first guy That I'm like I want the air conditioning on And I know I sound stupid Very interesting No but I totally get it I just would conform To anything he needed And those guys don't Like that There's billions of girls Doing the same thing as you are So why would you be different And further fucking more Yeah

All this fucking plastic surgery. I'm sorry. I'm on my plastic surgery rant. These girls are getting fucking lip fillers and fucking fillers and changing their fucking face. You know how fashion's a trend? Yeah.

Oh my god, yes. Are you kidding? Plastic surgery is a fucking trend. Stop cutting your face up because in four years, it's not going to be in style to have your eye look like a fox. Your eyes might have to be... You know how much eyebrows have changed over four years? Right? I was just going to say that. Stop cutting your face based on a trend you saw on Instagram to make guys like you. Wait, my eyebrows used to be so thin in college. Looking at pictures makes me literally want to hurl. But moral of this story...

If you see me out in the streets yelling at a man, mind your business. Mind your business. Because I'm just going to start being such a fucking bitch. And like, I don't give a shit. Cool. I don't care. Do you know why I like Des? Why? Because he calls me out on my bullshit. Yeah, he does. I've heard him do it.

And you're like, okay, no, I know. I did something and he called me cocky today. And I was like, don't use that word. I'm not cocky. And I walk away and he's like, yeah, you are. And I'm in the bathroom. And I was like, I could start a huge fight right now. And then I just come back in. I go, I am cocky. And then we just continue the day. But it's like, he calls me out how no guy has ever called me out before. Yeah. I am just going to start calling guys out and just being like, you're a fucking dick. And be authentic about it.

Like, not just to do it. Like, really speak from your heart. I just, like, always have this fear of being over-emotional. Like, I hate being over-emotional. Yeah, because when you're over-emotional, society calls you hysterical and crazy. Yeah. But, um...

I do think that if you're holding me, what I would do is I don't want to be over emotional. So I'd hold it in the whole relationship. And then one day I'd fucking snap. One day he would do one thing and I'd be like, yeah, lose my number. Never talk to me again. He'd be like, what? And I'd be like, I can't do this anymore. I actually remember the first time I ever just like snapped on Perry, um,

Wow, Perry's getting a lot of air time. Dude, I would just hold things in and then he would do one thing and I would just be like, you know what? You're so fucking annoying. And he'd be like, you're a psychopath. And like, yeah, you feel like a psycho because that's crazy to snap. So if... Yeah, so really what we're saying is be a bitch the whole time. Snap at everything. Then they won't be blindsided when you actually snap. Be that bitch. I actually...

People don't talk about how hard it is to have relationship conversations. Like... I feel like... I'm good at, like, hooking the guy. But then when you're in the relationship, you actually have to, like... Keep watering the plant. Like...

Yeah. Like you work so hard on like getting, finding someone and then it's like, oh, you're not just perfect puzzle pieces. You have to like understand their demons and how to work with your demons. Like that shit comes out when you're being yourself. I'm the opposite. I'm good at like, I don't know actually what I'm good at. I have another hot take. Yeah. As someone who, as women who get UTIs,

I believe that if you constantly get UTIs when you're sleeping with a guy, his chemistry is not right for you. I said what I said. I said what I said. Because I don't get UTIs that often, but there are certain specific dudes that would give them to me, and my body was rejecting them. Absolutely. Okay, as someone who gets UTIs all the time,

All the fucking time Like I literally Could just think about a UTI And they'll be like Yup And now you have one And I'm like I didn't even have sex with anyone This is fucked up Like I will legit get them From tampons Like it is Not cool Like I'm like guys This is It wasn't A person Like Whatever So I get them all the time I was hanging out With this one guy And like we were Being sexually active And like more than normal And I didn't get a UTI And I was like

Is this my husband? Because there is no fucking way Forget all the other advice Raw dog If you don't get a UTI That's your man That is your fucking man I literally woke I called my mom And I was like I didn't I like I don't have a UTI And she was like I don't feel like I need to know this But like Happy for you

I think science is science. Wait, I use Eucora, though. It's this, like, random brand. My dad saw it on the Today Show. If anyone gets UTIs, and my dad literally called me because he knows I get it. Your dad is the cutest human in the world. He's like, my pagey gets UTIs. I don't know what it is, but he says it helps. Like, no way does he think it's from sex. It's probably from... She wears her bathing suit for too long. I don't know what is it. Her ponytail is too tight. Yeah.

But there's this brand. It's called Eucora. And it's basically like vitamins. And when I feel one coming on, I'll just like pop one of the vitamins and I won't get it. This is important. It's really important. Yeah. Finally, what I wrote down. We love Nick Vial. Yeah. I don't know if I pronounce his last name right because I started joking with him about it and then I can never remember it. Right. But I like his clips on TikTok. Yeah. And his most recent one was with this girl, Olivia O'Brien, a singer. Yeah.

Okay. And she had a hot take. What? She said, whoever has the power in their relationship is the house that you guys hang out at most. And that shit is ranked so true for me. Sorry, I'm thinking about back to literally everyone I've ever dated. So my most toxic relationship where I was legitimately with someone who was very controlling, literally never really

He was in like an outer borough. Yeah. And I would get on the train and go to this outer borough to meet up with him all the time. And then once I was throwing a birthday party on this boat and I said, can we stay at my place so I can wake up and be with all my friends and go on the boat in Manhattan? And it was like a whole thing.

to stay at my place the night of my birthday. And then all night, he complained about my bed being creaky and had like a full-on tantrum. Panic attack. And I was literally in the bed being like, yeah, this relationship's over. Here's the other thing though. I'm a bad judge with that because I lived in a studio apartment. So like there was nowhere to hang out. Yeah. You know, like even if guys had roommates, it was bigger. Also, Perry had a beautiful apartment. Stunning, gorgeous. Yeah.

Even like jail guy. It was like beautiful. Like he moved a lot, but it was just like, it was bigger. It was nicer. The jail cell had a window. But now in my new apartment, oh my God. In my new apartment since April, I have not once gone to a guy's apartment. You're running shit. I'm running it. I'm like, you can come here. I mean, I'm not leaving my couch. Someone even came here to end it with me. Oh,

But I do think in relationships, healthy ones have more of a balance of like sacrificing or what's it called? It starts with a C when you we don't know how to do it. Oh, wait, what is that word? Compromise. Oh, my God. Why couldn't I think of that? Dude, if people listen to this podcast, they'd be like they are high as shit all the time.

Like we can't think of anything. This podcast started on lives where the whole fun was it was like fill in the blank for gigglers. We'd be like, what's the name of that person who did that movie and said this? And they'd be like, yeah, we're like, yep. Wait, I was just going to say something, but I literally can't remember. What were we talking about? We were talking about compromising being a guy's apartments, having a balance. I will say this.

Not to bring Perry up again But like Are you fucking Dreaming about him recently? No No I think it's just because One of my friends called me And told me that he was like In New York And I just like Haven't spoken to him And I was like Oh I should catch up with him Anyway You're so bad with exes Leave him alone No I know I should leave him alone Leave him alone No I'm gonna leave him alone No but like Free Perry Seriously the poor guy He's had enough You know What more can I do to him? Leave Perry alone Um

I realized that I... This is going to be also so mean. I realized that I wasn't in love because...

Perry's day consisted of like how could he make my day easier? Do you know what I mean? Like what could he do that like if I needed to go to my apartment, could he drive me there? And then like, you know, like what would make my life easier? Or he would like think about me on his way home and like get a cookie or something. He never got me a cookie. That's a lot. Something, you know?

I did not do one thing for this man. Like, I didn't even wake up. I maybe woke up and made the bed four times. I never cooked for him. I never thought like, oh, he likes this. I'm going to grab this at the grocery store. I never did that. When I meet a guy and I want to do all this domestic shit...

I'm literally like, what's going on? It's happening in my body again. Like, I like someone. I will make you a grilled cheese sandwich at 2 a.m. You want it? For sure. I'll do it. Like, I have...

changed bed sheets to for a man to get into like a crisp bed at 3 a.m after being out at night that's what you do for me i know basically shit i do for you is what i do for guys that i like it's so crazy friendship but you're right i fucking cooked this dinner yeah all during the pandemic

No, it's not. I had a guy over the other night and he was like, oh, like, should we make popcorn? And I was like, yeah, like, sure. Put it in the microwave. He made it like put it in a bowl and brought it over. And I was like, dude, we're going to eat this popcorn raw. And so like I took it, I like melted butter and then I did like butter and layers. And he was like, oh, my God, I love this. And I was like, yeah, I fucking like you. And it's so annoying. What was that?

Did your mom ever tell you? I think it was from a comedy or something, but it's like, if a guy's coming over, you should have cookies in the oven so it smells like cookies. That is from a movie. It's from a movie. But it's terrible and not true, but I do think that... I... Wait. No, keep going. No, you keep going. It's a TikTok thing, so tell me. Keep going and then I'll tell you why. I was going to say a TikTok thing.

Okay. I saw a TikTok thing where this guy was like, do you want a man to become addicted to you? And I was like, obviously I'm going to keep watching this. And he goes, I love your algorithm. My algorithm is amazing. How to manifest someone falling in love with you. It's like, write this down three times, then say it six. And I'm like, okay, yeah. He said, I don't, I'm not going to try this because this is diabolical and crazy, but like, obviously I thought about it.

he said chew nicotine gum oh no okay chew nicotine gum make out with them you're hooking up with them you're like doing all the stuff they think that they've become addicted to you they're addicted to the nicotine that is the sickest thing i've ever heard how crazy is that

How crazy is that? I told you about the vagina thing. No, it has a name and I forgot what it is, but it's like they said to like put your finger in your vagina. I don't have told me that this is after a light run or not. Those are different vaginas, but you like put the I did it. I tried it. You told me to do it last summer. I did it.

I fucking did this. He put it like behind your ear like perfume and they're like all over you. I didn't I maybe tried it once. I don't think Perry could get away from me fast enough. I was like wait I'm doing this thing like do you want to have sex with me more than usual and he was like no. Get out of here. And I was like cool.

But I also think your thing with Perry, I don't know relationships behind closed doors, but it sounds like he was conforming a lot to what to make you happy and what you might want it. And we both just weren't each other's people. Like, I would agree to say that we're both amazing. We just weren't amazing together. And I know that, like, look, one day some guy is just going to be like her. Can't live without her. And until that day comes, I'm just going to be drunk forever.

And that is our TED Talk. And that's our mental health moment. Just fucking pour yourself a glass of tequila. What is this thing you wrote in the notes? Any gigglers found out their boyfriend was cheating and became friends with the girl? I can't remember now. But I was watching a show. Yeah. What was I watching? And something. And I was just wondering if like...

I wonder how many girls are out there that realize that their boyfriend was cheating on them with some girl, but like the girl they were cheating on them with didn't know they had a girlfriend. Now it's so easy with social media to be like, dude, you have like literally a guy DM me the other day who I used to talk to. And I was like, bro, you have a girlfriend. And he was like, currently, yes, but like we should get drinks and I'll fill you in. And I was like, shut the fuck up. Well, during quarantine, there was like Miami relationships and then like New York relationships. And you could be like, so,

So I want to know if there's any girls that found out their boyfriend was cheating on them with a girl. The girl didn't know. And if they met and became friends and like are still friends.

I just want to know. Yeah. I mean. So if that's happened to anyone, tell us. Very interesting. Very interesting. I mean, Sierra and I are besties, but she also, it was different. Oh yeah, that was different. I actually, one of my best girlfriends, I met her because she was dating a guy and I was dating a different guy. And somehow in like six months we switched guys and didn't really know it, found out about it, became friends, would go on double dates.

I love that. She's still one of my best friends. I just love when you realize like the end of the day, it's not competition. If someone wants to be with someone, someone wants to be with someone. Don't be shady. Don't be messy. Unless you're on a reality TV show. Look, I always say, and I like have to give myself the advice all the time. There's no such thing as mixed signals. If he likes you, you'll know. And if he doesn't, you'll be confused. Yeah.

And you'll be like, what's this mean? What's this text mean? And it's really... Whenever my friend sends a text going, what do you think he means? Or do you think I should? All these questions are your body telling you like something's wrong. If I have to call my girlfriends 10 times about a guy, I'm like, what am I doing? What am I doing? Yeah. I love this for us. Yeah. We're just realizing things. Yeah.

My vibe right now is just living life. Did I hear you're shopping for a car? Because I've been at it for ages. Such a time suck, right? Not really. I bought it on Carvana. Super convenient. Oh, then comes all the financing, research. Am I right? Well, you can, but I got pre-qualified for a Carvana auto loan in like two minutes. Yeah, but then all the number crunching and terms, right? Yeah.

Nope. I saw real numbers as I shopped, found my dream car, and got it in a couple of days. Wait, like you already have it? Yep. Oh. Go to Carvana.com to finance your car the convenient way.

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I like to just throw shit out and see what comes back. I said, what's the most embarrassing shit you guys have ever done? Just to feel better about our lives, you know? Yeah. It's pretty good. I'm going to try and think of one for me too as we're doing these. I have one for me. Okay. Okay. And I think if you can learn how to not be embarrassed in life, you can do anything. Yeah.

That's so true. That's one of my strengths. I grew up with my dad trying to embarrass me all the time to the point that I was just like, you're just funny. You can mortify me in three seconds.

Yeah. I, it takes so much for me to be embarrassed. I've like ended it with guys because I'm like, you do dumb shit in front of people and it makes me nervous. I was like seeing a guy and he would just yell like penis in the street and I was like, I'll never speak to you again. Like, it's not funny to me. You're embarrassing me. Also, the penis game is so sexist. Why isn't there a vagina game? Anyway.

Okay. The first time I met my ex-boyfriend's mom, I introduced myself with the wrong name. What was the name? I don't know. I love that. How do you recover from that? That's hilarious. My friend, I think it was Emma Willman, this great comic. I think I might be getting the story wrong, but I think she said she met Amy Schumer for the first time. And she said...

hi amy i'm amy or like hi emma i'm amy like she just fucked it up yeah i get that you can get so nervous i said mr andy like that's weird yeah that's so weird it's so weird um my boyfriend tickled the fart out of me and it was so loud in front of his super italian grandpa and mom don't tickle your girlfriend in front of your family it's fucking awkward i would be so mad at him dislocated my knee in a nightclub and had to be carried by the bouncer sorry

That is amazing. She twerked so hard. She was probably trying to do the WAP dance. That shit is so intense. Got caught liking a pic from 2008. We've been there. If I had a dollar. Boyfriend's brother walked in behind me when I asked his sucking his dick with my pants down tampon string hanging. Oh, my God.

blacked out and threatened to stab my sister's boyfriend in the eye with a fork he sucks called my teacher dad oh i used to do that all the time little i feel like you call everyone mom yeah i always called my teacher's mom i would let my ex take my phone when i was in his car because he wanted zero distractions interesting how is that i don't know first of all

No. Second of all, no. No. Kick him out of the car. Get a new Uber driver. Yeah. Break up with him. I stole a gift I gave him. Faked passing out at a party to get attention. It worked. That's amazing. That's absolutely fucking amazing. She's like, I 911. I need attention right now. Oh, my God. I love that.

Farted on a guy I was seeing for two weeks on his leg and in my sleep. Now he's my husband. Like, did she know? Queefed when I stood up in the middle of a busy break room.

How does that even happen? I have queefed in yoga before. I've never, other than like when it's appropriate. No, I queef. There's this thing where you go on your back and you put your leg. I just hate the word. Like it's not, okay, it's not a gross thing because it's literally just actual air. Yeah. But the word makes it sound like it's some crazy disease that we have. But I do, I think I like,

You put your legs up in the air and there's something about like the air going down. And then when you. Yeah. Yeah. It's just fucking science. And like. That's why I do yoga with music in the background. But I like queefs because I could blame. Okay. This is really bad. I found the one I wanted. It's also the way these people write it.

I shit at a guy's house stomach explosion and it wouldn't flush. So I scooped it all out with a cup and threw it in the trash under toilet paper. And then the bathroom had to fucking reek.

Dude, do you know that's my worst nightmare? That is my worst nightmare. That is my, oh my God, I literally just started sweating. Like, because I've been in situations where I'm like, I don't know if this is flushing. And the sheer panic that runs through your fucking body. And then when it goes down, you're like, oh my God. Or you just have to, it's not going down. So you have to just put a ton of toilet paper over it to just make it look like, I just like intensely peed and it's not going down.

Or be like, oh, it must. It was like clogged when I went in. Oh, I don't know. These things ruin relationships. But anyway, thank you. We've been watching some shit. I've been watching some shit. We have some updates. This is like our front page news. Did you watch promise promising young woman? OK, so I started watching it last night and I fell asleep. I have to finish it tonight. Here's how I feel. I like her.

But there's something about the movie is very dry. Like the message. It doesn't get crazy. Crazy. It is the most twisted ending I've seen in a while in a movie. Wow.

It's one of those things where you're like, I don't know how I feel. And then the plot starts moving and then the plot moves and you're like, okay, this is art. Well, I've been doing this new thing where like I only watch TV outside in my living room. And then when I go to bed, I really try not to turn the TV on and just like go to sleep. And then you're saying, then I watch movies when I'm in my bed. Yeah.

Because I love... Because I'll stay up till 3 a.m. Yeah. Like, that's just my thing. Like, I fucking love staying up late. I don't care. I will sleep in and then, like, do things till, like... I will be doing things at 1 a.m. Like, I'm the girl sending emails at 1 a.m. Because I'm like, this is when I'm doing it. I don't give a fuck. I get inspired at 10 p.m. That's my inspiration time. Dude, same. Like, my most organizational things happen at 11 p.m. There's something about knowing...

There's so much pressure during the day to do things The second the pressure's gone I'm like, okay, now I can work Without all the pressure I'm like, should I redo my closet? Is this working for me? So Promising Young Woman, when you watch it We'll catch up on that You are having real strong opinions On Love Island, go off sis What's happening? I fucking love Love Island UK Not doing it for me this year

Just not doing it for me. How is that even possible? Because I thought it was a perfect formula of like these people who talk with these amazing slang words that are always entertaining. They're hot. It's messy. Times are changing. They're not using the same slang words that like we they used to use because like look words like change and like then they have new words. There's a new word that they keep saying and I can't even think of it. But like and I've pinpointed it to what it is.

Every season that I've watched, like from the beginning, I've seen a girl that I'm like, I'm obsessed with you. Like, no, I need to know everything about you. I love you so much. I'm obsessed with you. And there hasn't been a person like when Molly Mae walked in, I was like, no, I fucking love her. Like I and I've still loved her. There's no one on this season that I'm like, no.

Infatuated with. Yeah. So then I went to Love Island US. It's okay. It's okay. It's actually, it's pretty good. But like it's, I'm just not in like the Love Island move. Maybe it's I'm on such an I hate mentor that I can't even, I can't even watch it. It's kind of like when you're going through your own dating bullshit. It's like, why do I need to watch more dating bullshit? I'm like, fuck you guys. Then you also wrote Unorthodox Life. Have you watched?

No, but I've seen... Is this like a new thing? Because there's been a lot of different types of unorthodox, orthodox. Okay, no. This is a reality show about this woman named Julia who was in...

An orthodox community Until she was 40 years old She got out She is now like the CEO of Elite Model Management Oh my god She's like super fucking successful She has How many kids does she have? Four kids So she's very interesting The most interesting And she's a great personality Great personality She's married to this Italian man Silvio So she got divorced?

She got a divorce. Her oldest daughter, her name is Bat-Shava. And I, like, immediately became obsessed with her. I went on Instagram and I saw that she followed me. And I was just like, no, I'm obsessed with you. I followed her back and then I went to go message her and be like, no, I love you. We have messaged. And I didn't know who she was. She just, like, messaged me something. And we just, like, kind of chatted back and forth, like, about, like, clothes and, like, whatever. Yeah.

And then I messaged her and I was like, I'm so obsessed with you and the show and your outfits are so cute. And she was like, I would love to get drinks. And I was like, absolutely done. Oh my God. That is so adorable. I know. I love her. But like,

She got married at 19. She's so interesting. Like on the show, she like started wearing jeans and her husband was like, I don't know if I'm okay with that because like they all grew up Orthodox and then they all like left. So I mean, I grew up in Brooklyn where there was a big Orthodox Jewish community. So like you see it a lot and it's like, was it called Muncie?

I mean, it was like Hasidic Jews. Yeah. But there's like so many different levels and then like... So many different levels. I just think it's fascinating. It's fascinating. It's fascinating when they get out of it. Yeah. Also, I watched a little bit of the preview and it was talking about how the kids were kind of grappling with like how they were raised and what they were taught to now their mom flipping and being like, actually, we don't believe in that anymore. Yeah. And being like, mom, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah.

I love that. Just the thought of like getting married at 19 is nuts to me. It's like so many people have did it and did it. So many people in the history of the world do it. But I do love her and her husband. And I really do think that they're like very much in love. Yeah.

So like maybe it works for some people. So you just have so many new friends, the girl across the hall, the girl on unorthodox. And it's like, yeah, it's great. But am I going to hang out with anyone? Probably not. I'm going to stay in my apartment. The moral of the story is women are better than men. Also, can we discuss Kelly Ripa and her husband? Yeah, let's. So I have this thing. She pulls out her thesis. She goes, in conclusion,

My hypothesis, I have this thing where I get obsessed with couples. Yeah. Like I'm obsessed with Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. I'm obsessed with Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis. I'm obsessed with John Krasinski and Emily Blunt. And I'm fucking obsessed with Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos. And here's why. Give it to me. They met. They met.

While being on a soap opera together. And it was basically fucking love at first sight. And they were like, fuck this. We're going to Vegas. We're getting married. I don't think they were dating more than six months. Love it. They have been married for however many years. They have grown in their careers together. She...

I mean, arguably, is way more successful than him. She's been on a morning show for fucking years. And like...

I just think it's so admirable that she's so fucking successful. And like he does his own thing and he's on random shows and sometimes he co-hosts with her. But like he's still so fucking obsessed with her. And I just... He lets her shine. He lets her shine. They like met when they were young. They didn't really know each other that well or weren't dating for that long before they got married. And they've just... I just think it's...

admirable we stand so she posted like this sexy photo with him yeah and like she's funny on instagram with him and i love it yes i mean it is so scary to be in a relationship in the public eye and like you want to protect certain things but it's also really cute that

They're like older. They have kids and they're like, we fuck. We're fucking. Like the kind, you know how we talk about like if you are posting a picture with your significant other and the caption so sappy and we're just like, well, like such losers. I want a relationship where like we post dumb shit together. Yeah. Where it's like, I don't know. I want to like post my boyfriend for his birthday and be like, well,

What's your name again? Like, you know, like I want to. Yes. You want to make each other laugh, but also. Yeah. Real culprit. I have culprit of shit we don't like. Yeah. Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Baldwin.

Yeah they're just weird They have like full Conversations in the comments Like baby No I'm here for you Oh that makes me sad You're sitting on the couch With her I already know That my next boyfriend When it is his birthday I'm literally gonna post A picture of both of us And the caption is just Gonna be HBD

That's it I love how you have All your captions Oh my god I have so many captions For your boyfriend Also I also know the picture That I want it to be I want to be like Sitting in a chair And I think I want him Over me And like him hugging me Do you know what Your engagement style Photo is going to be Yeah I do It's actually going to be

Tell me. It's going to be, like, in Central Park or maybe out in front of, like, the public library. And it's going to be very, like, black and white. And it's going to be, like, kind of like old Hollywood but, like, not. Like, you know, I want to wear, like, a vintage Dior. When he proposes. No, this is my engagement photos. When he proposes. But how are you going to announce it? Like, it's random. He just...

Oh, okay. You're not going to announce it until you do the photo shoot. No. Oh, God, no. Okay. Oh, God, no. Okay. But my engagement, I don't want pictures. I don't want it to be videoed. I want to be laying in bed and I want him to turn over and be like, hey, I have a question. And I'll be like, no, I'll cry. Let's go to breakfast. And I want to go to like a diner after. Yeah. And I want it to just be like really cool. Just the two of us. It's so funny. Oh, my God. What?

This is called manifestation, people. What's so funny is like when we needed to announce our engagement to the public, I had no, I was like, wait, how do you do it like in a cool way? And I was literally Googling like how do people announce engagements? Yeah. Do you remember when that girl went viral because her husband did that whole like scavenger hunt? She got fired from her job. Wait, she got fired from her job? Yeah, she worked at Goop.

Because she was like supposed to be at work or something? No, I don't know. Something weird happened and it was like, it was like all a set up. No, no, no. It was all like a... It was like a promo thing for a brand? Yeah. And like, it looked like it was, it was like a whole thing. That was like a couple of years ago. That is shady. Oh my God.

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We are ending with another fucking amazing segment.

Which is something I just started on TikTok because as you've known, your girl's been TikTok-ing. Yeah, you really have. You've actually been doing really well too. Oh my God, thank you. I've been trying my best. I literally text Elena, our Gen Z consultant, all the time to be like, how do I post a TikTok? But I recently decided it's funny to do celebrity lists. Yeah. And I posted... The one you just did was fascinating. The ghost one or the cult one? The cult one. Okay. Okay.

Thank you. Cause I'm going to report to giggly squad right now. Okay. Um, so I did celebrities who were in cults cause I saw something about a celebrity who was in a cult and I was like, how many celebrities have been in cults? And they start Googling it and it's like a lot of celebrities have been in cults and I haven't connected the why or the where, but I will get back to you with that. But, um, I want to tell you my findings.

First, we have Joaquin Phoenix. He was in a cult called... Joaquin Phoenix. How the fuck did you just say his name? Oh, I was thinking of Joaquin Noah. He's a tennis player. I apologize. I fucked it up immediately. I'm so bad at front page news. Okay. Joaquin Phoenix. You act like I pronounced Bob wrong. Do you know that Joaquin Phoenix has a baby with...

Oh my god it's gonna come to me Keep going Mara Rooney Are you sure it's not Mara? Fuck you Joaquin Phoenix Sorry the name has a lot of vowels next to vowels And it threw me off Joaquin Phoenix was in a cult called Children of God Which apparently on YouTube Children of God has a great documentary But he was born in it And they escaped when he was three years old Good for them Where is it? Where were they? In California? Yeah

I don't know, but a lot of them are in California. Yeah. Then Winona Ryder. New York has no time for it. We're like, New York is just a cult in itself. Yeah. New York is like, what? No. Like,

Come home. Winona Ryder was in the Rainbow Commune and some people were commenting and they were like, communes aren't cults. True. But this one in particular was a cult and she got out of it. I think there was allegedly some kind of abuse going on, but it was one of those where like there was no electricity. No. There's like a funny movie with Paul Rudd and him and like, I forget who plays his wife and they go and they like join a commune and it's just like very funny. Okay.

And they like do shrooms and stuff. Or it might have been that it wasn't sustainable after a while and they kind of had to leave. So yeah, that's what happened with Winona Ryder. Yeah. And one thing led to another and I burnt my jib down. She burnt her jib down. This is my favorite one. Okay. Michelle Pfeiffer. Love. Who I still don't know why the P and the F are next to each other. But Michelle Pfeiffer was a breatharian.

This is some crazy shit. She moves to Hollywood, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and she doesn't have a lot of friends. She meets some people who are breatharians. Basically, it's a cult where you pay money, and they're convinced that humans are like plants, and they can...

They need photosynthesis. Okay. So you don't eat or drink and you get all your energy just from the sunlight. So it's like a bunch of hot people not eating. Okay, so then when do you die? I guess that's the only way to leave the cult. No, seriously. Like, how long... You can literally be in this cult for 11 days. I have to look into it because it seems so fucking insane. Like, I wonder...

I don't know how it happened, but she was in it until she got a role about a woman being in a cult and read the script and was like, holy fuck, I'm in a cult. What? What? Fuck, look. I think sometimes I make some fucked up decisions and I don't think I have my life together and I do a lot of bad shit and I'm like, damn, I shouldn't have done that. Never in my damn life.

Am I paying someone to make me think I can do photosynthesis? Like never am I joining a cult. Or like never am I fucking my life up that bad, Michelle. But what I'm trying to say is that anyone can get stuck in a cult. Similar story to unorthodox.

I watched the NXIVM documentary. Did you watch it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did. Because it was in Albany. I was like, wait, am I going to see anyone I know in this? And do you know the beautiful blonde whose mother was trying to get her out of the cult? Yeah. So I looked her up on Instagram and she followed me. So we're friends. Dude, isn't it crazy sometimes? Savannah! Sometimes it's crazy to see who follows you and stuff. My favorite is when it's like...

I'm talking to a guy and he's like starts dating a girl or something. I'm like, whatever. She follows me. I was about to say my favorite thing is when I'm random stock stocking people, which is my favorite thing to do. Like I see a random girl that I think is like kind of pretty. Her boyfriend is get intrigued by his sister and get so down. Oh,

And one of them follows me. Yeah. And you're in like a weird rabbit hole. Yeah. And you're just like, wait, are we friends? Like I, I love seeing that where I just like, I'm like, wait, I see a random girl on Instagram. Like I think I'm obsessed with her and she follows me. And then I'm just like, it's just cool. It's weird. And I feel like the Giggler community is a big part of it. And we love you guys. Rose McGowan. What a transition. Also in Children of God.

And she got out because there was like allegedly abuse. And I think she her dad took her from it when she was seven. Finally, we have David and Patricia Arquette who were in the Skymont commune. What was that? It was a commune that was similar and it was scary. And their whole family was in it. They have like five or six siblings.

It was just like a huge family thing. Oh, okay. Sorry. I was remembering. There was a lot of like drugs and alcohol involved. Like it was a commune, but like their parents were just- Wait, where was it? Oh.

Their parents were just getting like drunk and fucked up and like being like, it's a commune. You guys are drug addicts. Half these communes are literally they're just doing drugs and having orgies. Yeah. It's just like it's some some hippie stuff that like you like it because it's minimalistic. But I guess it was enabling some addictions. And I'm all about being minimalistic. But like if I'm not showering and the water's not going down a drain, count me the fuck out.

Like seriously an outdoor shower at someone's beach home is as far as I will go. I'm sorry like if I don't have toilet paper like the amount of we don't talk about the amount of toilet paper. I think girls in general or I go through in a given day between it's kind of insane your period peeing pooping and having sex. Yeah I go through miles and I was like I would like

tell Des I'm like we use so much toilet paper and he's like yeah I guess Des was gone for like four days and

I went through all the typewriter by myself. It's not his fault. He's innocent. I noticed the other day. I was like, damn, I am taking the trash out every night. Every night I am taking the fucking trash out. And I'm like, what is going on? To the point where Sierra was over at my apartment. She goes, I have watched you. Do you know you consume a lot of trash? And I was just like, I know. Why do I always have cheese? She's like, you are a little delicate thing, but you create more trash than a small country. You're not crazy. Well, fun fact.

I got yelled at because you were putting all the trash and then I had to take it out and I couldn't keep up. I was like, do you know how much trash this little girl's creating for me? I literally, I'm always like throwing shit away. Paige was like leaving shit all over the house being like, why hasn't Hannah picked it up? Yeah. Okay. Our last cult, Addison Rae. No way. In the hype house. Yeah.

I think TikTok is a cult. TikTok is a cult. You guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. Yes, thank you. We love you so much. Any announcements? We're working on new merch. We're really excited. A big holiday collection. We're very excited. Just doing things in advance. Go to HannaBurn.com for comedy tickets. Follow us on TikTok. Follow us on Instagram.

Oh, like, subscribe, review, swipe up. Leave a nice comment. Leave reviews. It helps. It helps the podcast. We don't care if they're mean. We really don't. No, we literally don't care. Yeah. We prefer it. We thrive on it. We love it. I need something to spark my depression. We don't know about ourselves already. Right. Nothing I haven't said to myself while I lay in bed.

while looking in the mirror at 3 a.m. Everyone have a great rest of your week and we'll talk to you later. And I'm signing off on this business call. Goodbye.