Giggling about our shopping addiction, lingerie, and self loathing
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What is up my giggly puffs? Oh, that's a cute one. Get it? Like Hufflepuff. Oh, I was thinking like a cheese puff. Cream puffs are so good. Cream puffs are so good. And no one eats them. I eat them all the time. Where? Where do you find a cream puff? I don't know. You're like, you don't have a cream puff guy? I feel like I eat cream puffs a lot. I also feel like they're essential at an Italian wedding.

Yes, yes. Italian bakeries. Don't fuck around with that stuff. No one talks about Italian weddings enough in the dessert table. Yeah, just cannoli cream everywhere. Everywhere. Question. What is your Hogwarts... What do you call it? House? Hogwarts house, yeah. Dude, so fucking easy. I'm Slytherin all day. What's so funny is I knew you were Slytherin. Yeah. Do you know what I am? You're a Gryffindor. You're right. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah.

It's easy to like spot someone and what their Hogwarts house says. That's crazy. I'm like dark art. Yeah. I mean, you're Scorpio. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm a Leo. I think I'm the main character, but sometimes bad things happen to me. Yeah. But like deep down, you're really nice. We're the opposite. Yeah. And deep down. People think I'm a bitch. Yeah. I can be fucking evil if you piss me off to that point.

I don't want to be. You know, like no one in Slytherin wanted to be bad. You don't choose that life. No. You didn't choose it. I don't want to be bad. It's just sometimes... Honestly, before we get into like what we're really talking about, I've never been more fucking mad about Instagram than I have in the past couple of days because...

I wore a dress on Saturday night and I don't know if you saw my breasts in this dress, but classic Paige. I wore a push-up bra and then I put like my chicken cutlets in my bra because I actually didn't fill the dress out. Like it was too big on the top and I was like, what am I going to do? So I like stuffed it. My boobs looked massive. Like they looked great though.

And then I was on Instagram and I was like, it's just kind of crazy the conversation that's being had about my boobs on social media. On your own page? Yeah, like on my own page. I was like actually getting really uncomfortable because I was like, okay, what if I did get a boob job? Like who gives a shit? But like if I were to, I would obviously tell people. And I feel like we've talked about it on the pod before that like I just don't want to.

But when it comes to being on TV, there comes a point where people actually see you as an object. Yeah. You're not a human anymore. Not a human. People don't understand that. Like we read the comments. And even if we were to delete a comment, people get mad when you delete comments off your own page. I'm like, if someone wrote a horrible lie on your page. Yeah. Would you not delete it?

Hannah, the amount of DMs I got in the past 48 hours about me gaining weight is one of the craziest things I've actually ever read in my life. Because one... Like being mean like you're fat. Being like, oh my God, girl, like...

One guy sent me this message and was like, it's obvious that you've gained weight over the year. I think you look great, but it really looks so much better on you. And it's like, okay, that shit goes both ways of like...

telling a girl she's too fat or like telling a girl she's too thin like let's just be clear stop commenting on people's weight right like what like i'm 120 pounds like i've always been 120 pounds i think other than when i graduated high school which i was like 100 pounds i was a child also you don't have to explain yourself yeah but it's also just like weight

I know that like I'm small and like I know that I feel good in my body and like I think that I'm like a fine size. What you're going to say? I think I'm a fine ass bitch. That's fucking too. But like what if I really was like depressed that I had like gained some weight and I like wasn't I wasn't like comfortable with it. And then I just read all of these messages of people like pointing it out. I think it's absolutely insane. Yeah.

we um we love chicks in the office and ria went on burning in hell and she was saying how she always loved her body until she started barstool and like everyone was commenting on her body all the time and then you start being super aware of your body yeah when you like what i mean i'll post an old photo and like for whatever reason and someone will be like oh my god you lost weight i'm like no bitch that

Yeah. Like I honestly was really fortunate in like high school and college. I never thought about my weight. I never thought about like my boob size, like, or my butt size. Like I just didn't, it just like didn't cross my mind. And I feel like that's like a testament to like my mom, like raising me with like whatever. But now like about to turn 29, I've never been more insecure about it just because so many people comment on it. Well,

Well, it's fucked up. Like, you know, when you're insecure about something, you notice it on everyone else. Like, let's say you you hate your nose and you look at everyone else's nose. So it's like these people commenting on your weight are projecting their own shit about weight. But it like it's like a disease and it's toxic and it gets in everyone's head. Yeah. And it's also upsetting because like I'm working on this thing where it's like you are not less valuable when you gain weight or lose weight. You're still the same person. And I'm sorry that you have to.

It's just crazy, too, because like then I was like thinking about like all the girls that have like been bullied before on like appearance. And it's just like in what world would it cross your mind to write a comment about someone's appearance regardless of what it is and like press send?

Like, I just don't count it. Well, that's how I've survived cyberbullying, because I think how could this person ever want to put this into the universe to make someone feel so bad about who they are? Right. And wait, do you follow Tink's?

Yeah. Okay. So she, did you see the thing that she said that went viral about like, stop making fun of girls for getting excited about things? Yeah. And it was just like such a revelation when I watched it. I was like, oh my God. Yeah. No one says anything about a guy getting excited for like some dumb football game and like drinking beers with his boys. But like if I post a dress that I really like,

And people are like, oh, my God, so ugly or like, OK, can like deal with people saying they don't like the dress because like they don't have a fashion sense. And like, that's not my problem. But like if I'm excited about it, like, let me be excited. Yeah.

Yeah. Like I'm a girl. It's naturally just like, oh, things girls like are stupid and things guys like are awesome. And then you get taught that at a very young age. And it's very clear what stuff is like male oriented. Yeah. Cool. Like because I like fashion and pretty things and makeup doesn't make it stupid. It's actually a billion dollar company. You dumb fuck.

And that's what I'd like to say. I love, I love when you get angry because it's so passionate and truly Italian. You don't have to do this, but it would be hilarious if you did a tutorial on how you made your breasts look fat, P-H-A-T. And you like, you take this chicken cutlet. I literally just did it on Amazon Live. I go, we've had a lot of speculation. Sure.

Here's how I got that. Yeah, I was like, here are the chicken cutlets I use. Like, pump those babies up. Do you guys not remember season three of Summer House when I threw Paige's chicken cutlets at her? She's not lying. No, I fucking love chicken cutlets. But I guess like some dresses you like to fill out with boobs and some look really good when you are flatter because you can like it hangs better. Yeah. I mean, it just depends on the dress and how it fits. Yeah.

Well, that's the pros and cons, though. But it shouldn't be like, oh, you're on TV, so you have to have people comment on your weight all day. That's not. Yeah. It's also back to what you just said about like people not thinking you're like a real human. I was out till lunch literally yesterday. And this guy came up to me and was like, oh, my God, I just have to say that. Like, I follow you on Instagram, like such a big fan, like very sweet, very nice.

And then he goes, it's crazy. You're like a real person. And I just kind of looked at him like, yeah, like I am. Like I have a heart and a brain and like feelings. And I think people really do get desensitized to it on Instagram because it's like,

a screen and you're never actually going to meet that person nor do you like know them but like for him to say it was just like I like was so taken back I was like oh my god yeah like people like

Don't see people as humans when it's on social media. And I also think that this is why I'm so excited for our first live show. By the way, we added a second one. So check that out at the Philadelphia Punchline, November 14th and 15th. I hate to say it, but to be in the flesh, when I'm doing my stand-up, stand-ups literally save my life because to...

be just like behind a screen and that's how people know you from like a certain narrative and then to be able to be on stage and just like be yourself make people laugh and be my exactly people do it all the time they're like oh my god you're so like nice I'm like yeah I don't just go around yelling about my dad all the time I've actually had people DM me and be like I was never a fan of you but I was a fan of Hannah so I started listening to Giggly Squad and I do actually really like you and I'm like thank you like

Like, it's just. The amount of gigglers I'm meeting on the road page, like, they just make me so happy because they sit there and, like, they're, like, we listen to Giggly Squad because it's, like, conversations I have with my best friend. And then when I meet them in person, I'm, like, I could be friends with these girls. Yeah. Like, our listeners are so smart and so funny and so hot. Yeah. And, like, I'm just really excited for us to meet everyone on the road when we start booking more shows. I'm ready to, like, hug everyone. Aw.

I mean, but like COVID restrictions, safe, please stay away from me. No tongue. Um,

Speaking of things that we have been, I can't fucking segue this. Vivit, what have we been buying? Wait, okay. We got on this subject because I don't know, something happened and I texted Hannah and I was asking like something about her Instagram, but it auto-corrected to Instacart. And then I was like, wait, but I do kind of want to know what you order. Like what are your, what's your grocery list? I don't, I've never used Instacart app.

Hannah. Yeah, for sure. Does it change your world? I don't even know what Instacart is. Oh, it's for groceries? Yes. So it literally is just any grocery store in your vicinity. You do your Instacart order and then your groceries get delivered to your apartment. I do take out. Yeah, but you need drinks. Yeah.

You know, like I always have like- I need granola bars. Yeah, I need like four boxes of LaCroix at all time or I die. True. What's your flavor of LaCroix? It's your go-to. Any flavor except like the limoncello, I hate. I hate anything that's like orange flavored. I hate the key lime flavor. It's literally ass.

You literally just said I love all of them and then you've just been hating on all of them. Well, there's like a few that I just don't fuck with. I like the normal ones. Cran raspberry, papal mousse. Oh, papal mousse. Do you know what a papal mousse is? There's a grapefruit, isn't it?

I don't fucking know. I kind of want to do what we've been ordering on Amazon because I feel like that's the most random shit. Okay. I definitely have some random ass shit. Okay. I'll go. Then you go. Okay. Last thing I bought was white cheddar popcorn. 36 bags. On Amazon? You buy food? Oh, I guess you could do fresh direct. Like the snacks. Yeah. Okay. I just like, you know, when like you don't want to have a meal.

Popcorn is just perfect. I do love a good popcorn order. My most recent order was fake lashes, fake eyelashes. Are you still doing the magnetic ones? Yeah, I love them. Okay, good. Okay, fake eyelashes. Those will be arriving tomorrow at 10 p.m. Good. Thank you for updating us. I ordered underwear.

Okay, which underwear do you order? Because I love Amazon underwear. Is this sponsored by Amazon? I love them. I just Google like thongs, like string thongs. See, you know I love granny panties, but I get the granny panties that are like a line on the side. So it looks like it's a thong and then it's like, no, I'm a good girl. I can't. I don't know if everyone knows this, but they need to. Hannah hates thongs. Hate them. I don't own a pair of underwear that's not a thong.

I'm not trying to have my ass flossed 24-7. Whatever, you got used to it. Socks. Then I ordered, like, socks. But they are cat... These are fashion socks. They're... Sorry, these socks have better taste than you. They're sheer, and they go above my ankle, and I'm planning on wearing them with my loafers.

Okay, I love going back and forth on this because this shit's so random. I got... It's called Tinator 400 Counts Oil Blotting Sheets because I'll be doing stuff and they'll be like, hey, you're really oily. And I'm like, what do you want me to do about it? These oil blotting sheets are great if you're like me and your face is an actual Sicilian slice of pizza. I love that. I ordered a black leather pleated skirt. Oh, that's fun. I also... Do you remember how you said you wanted...

A jacket that had like fur on the ends. There's one at Nasty Gal, but I figured you found it already. I ordered it. I almost sent it to you yesterday, but I was like, she's busy. The pink one?

Yeah. Yeah, I ordered it. It actually just arrived. I just tried it on today and FaceTime my mom and said, do you love this or do you hate it? I love it for you. I love it. I got an ice roller for face eye puffiness. Clearly, I was going through a time where I like you could see your moods by your orders. Like clearly, I was like, you need to get your face together. Yeah, I haven't touched it, but I highly recommend it. Wait, I use it almost every morning. Is it the hot pink one? Is it like the big one? Yep. Yeah. Yep. I have that same one. OK, this is a weird one.

Wait, this has to be a segment more often because it's so... Capitalism at its finest. This is such a fucking weird one. Okay. I go through phases of like, this is probably not great for my mental health. It actually, I know it's not even like me about to say this. I will pick one thing that I hate about myself. Often. Like once a month. I will pick one thing that I hate about myself.

And I will work on that thing until it is where I want it to be. Okay, Tony Robbins. I know. Okay, so the past whole summer has been my skin. Like, I have not been able to think of anything but my skin. Okay. So I feel like I've gotten my skin in check. Next, I'm on to my posture. Okay.

I am like so rounded. I like can never keep my fucking shoulders back. I ordered this thing that you wear at nighttime and I've actually been doing it. And it's basically like a brace that while you sleep. Yeah. That keeps your shoulders back. You're supposed to wear it during the day, but like it's too bulky to wear under clothes. So I wear it at night. And you made fun of Perry for like putting tape over his mouth or something. That's so much worse. Wait, you're going to have a fucking like headset soon.

And then my next thing, like next month, will be my Invisalign. Like I really have to do it. Do you write it down? No, I just... No, I have self-loathing in my head at all times. I just envisioned you as the girl in Mean Girls after she got hit by a bus every night. You know what? It's not like hard. It's like...

It's like material. Like you could wear it under a shirt and you would never know. But like, do you know what makes me upset? You would never have insecurities about your posture if you weren't on TV ever. But I actually was one of my exes who's a comic was very tall and he had terrible posture on stage. So I just bought him one of those like dance things where like you just walk around all day and it just like pulls your shoulders back. Yeah, that's like what I got.

I got it for him. I don't know how he's doing. It hurts. Like when I wake up in the morning and like go throughout the day and I don't have it on, like I'm sore because my shoulders are like. Just don't hurt yourself. However, I do think when you have a serious problem or when you're really upset about something or anxious about something. Yeah. It's my new thing is it's kind of like an ex-boyfriend. You can wait. You can just wait and eventually time will heal. But if you don't want time to heal it, you just have to create another problem.

I get it. You know what I mean? I actually do get it. Like, if you have an ex that you're, like, having trouble with, like, you just find another guy to, like, hurt you and you've moved on. You're not necessarily in a better place, but you've moved on. Where with you, it's like, you've probably been having, like, things you could worry about, but you're like, I'm going to just focus on my skin because I can control that. Yeah. And, like, there's something either horrible or genius about it. I doubt we'll figure it out. In the next 20 minutes. Yeah, but it's there.

Um, yeah, this is either like a self bettering thing that I'm doing or just like literally self loathing certain things about me. No, I think it's you're like it's a form of self care, but it's a little sadistic. No, it's crazy town USA. The last thing I bought on Amazon. We're continuing was a book called Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. It's been highly recommended. I have not read it.

I recently, I ordered a book on Amazon and pre-order. I love ordering books. Which one? Pillow Talk by Craig Conover.

Oh my god That's exciting So supportive Hair claw clip Hair claw clips For thick hair I just bought Are you into the hair clip thing? Hannah I bought hair stuff too I bought hair ties We're so similar On September 22nd Oh I also bought Untamed by Glennon Doyle I haven't read it yet I read it It's supposed to be good And when I say Did it change your life? I didn't finish it Okay

Remember like when I had a boyfriend who like all he did was read. I was like, I guess I should like practice reading. We read so many captions and memes. Yeah. Don't come from us. I can read a magazine from cover to cover. I buy lingerie on Amazon. Did you see I wrote lingerie at Giggly Squad? No, I didn't.

I wrote lingerie because I wanted to ask you. Yeah. Because girls don't talk about lingerie. No, they don't. And I've realized there's not really many places that have like affordable, good lingerie. You know what? Fenty. I like it. But when you what is like the situation when you go to check out, you have to like subscribe or like get like, I don't know. Did I make that up?

Oh, is it like a subscription service thing? I feel like it kind of is where it's like, is it a multi-level marketing scheme? I don't know. Riri. I don't know. But like, I just remember being like laying in bed one night and the checkout process was like too much. And I'm like, like, I feel like I'm signing my soul. Yeah. I'm just like, fuck this cart. Like, you don't want to know what, like I'll find it somewhere else. But if you Google like nice lingerie, it's either like,

- Fredericks of Hollywood, like straight off the street corner or like La Perla where I'm like, okay, I'm not paying $4,000 for a pearl up my ass. Like in what fucking world? Like I just want something hot. - It's called an anal bead bitch.

Which, you know, like I just want anal beads. Just one. Just like a mother of pearl one. But it's like I just want something that's like hot and sexy that I can wear under my clothes. That isn't like I had to pass trigonometry to like put on. This is my question. When? Because I feel like girls don't talk about this enough. We like skip lingerie and just talk about blowjobs. Let's talk about lingerie. When is it appropriate in your life to want to wear lingerie?

Okay, so I have found that whatever nights I actually want to wear lingerie, like out to dinner with a boyfriend and like have it on under my clothes, I'm never wearing the right outfit where I can wear it underneath. So I've actually never worn it like out. I've only done the like come back home change into it vibe. Yeah. And but in terms of relationships, it's like you can do it when you're single. You can do it when you're like,

first or dating guy you could do it when you want to spice things up I don't think I've ever worn it single oh yeah interesting I feel like that's like a very saved like that's like you have to work for that yeah and it's also like okay like I like you and I think you're cute and I'm gonna walk out of the bathroom and surprise you and be wearing like the hottest thing ever to get in bed and go to sleep

My thing, maybe because I'm not connected to my sexiness enough and I feel like you're better at this than me, but I more want to be like, what do you want me to wear? Because like, I don't know what is like that much sexy. You know what I mean? Like, what do you think is sexy? Because like, I'm barely wearing any clothes. I think they're all sexy. But I guess you want to feel comfortable in it too. But I've asked them like, what color, like what color do you like?

Because sometimes guys think things are hot that I like don't think are hot. Or sometimes we think things are like so hot. Yeah. They're like, that is so weird. Like, what is that contraption? You're like, no, you're right. What I learned from Des is like, just go with their immediate reaction. Like when you walk in their immediate reaction, not when you ask them, like, you know, if they're into it or not.

Like I'll have a dress on and if he's like, yeah, yeah, that's good. Then it's great. But if he's like, are you going to wear that? I don't go. Do you like it? Then he'll be like, yeah, no, no, no. Go with the first reaction because that's their pure stupid boy brain. Yeah. So true. I want to be that girl that has like expensive, nice lingerie. But here's the other thing.

Mean you're getting married so you're with does for the rest of your life But like once you wear one piece of lingerie with a boyfriend and then you get a new boyfriend Can you wear that piece that you wore with someone else like is that taboo? It's like sex toys like do you use the same sex toys? Did you burn them all right? Do I burn all the like Victoria's Secret that I've had previously or can I re-wear to be honest? I

You know in your gut if it feels hot or not, if it's ruining the moment because you keep thinking of like your ex, then burn it. But if you want to just create new memories in it, I respect that. Yeah, that's true. It's better for the environment. Yeah. OK, so any girls out there that are wondering, wear it. Don't say anything.

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I don't know if you guys have noticed from my Instagram stories, but I've basically switched all my loungewear over to Skims. I was obviously obsessed with their bras and underwear, but now I really can't get enough of their soft lounge collection. I have their soft lounge tank, which is a really good size for me.

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and really replaced everything with Skims because I know it's always going to look good, and I know it always feels amazing. And you know how much I love laying in bed, so if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan. Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com, now available in sizes XXS to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select Podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop-down menu.

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So because I actually was thinking about lingerie like with Des and then I was in the car with him today We played 18 holes. We're both just retired old men Literally, you guys are literally retired old men 18 holes sounded really sexual. No, we played golf and like serious golf. We like weren't flirting. We were like Like I like double bogey and I was like fuck and he's like I told you use the 7-iron. I'm like, I know I

Wait, did you guys like at least like, wait, when you go golfing, is there a place to stop on the course to eat? No, you would love golf. Like I'll take you when you come to West Hampton, but like,

You put on the cutest outfit. Yeah. Because you're not really sweating. You get like your own little golf cart. I mean, you've gone. You're not, you know. But then I always get like coffee and like a little muffin before. And you practice a little. And then you get on the course. And then you start playing. And then we get hungry halfway through. And we order egg, bacon, and cheese. Because he knows I get cranky if I don't have egg, bacon, and cheese. Yeah. And someone brings it to your hole. Yeah. Yeah.

How chic It's cause it's like Off season now So they're less busy Oh I love that

But it's funny because, yeah, I just take golf really seriously. So every now and then I'll be like, we're having fun, right? And he's like, yeah. But then he's like, I told you to use the four eye. Wait, that's cute though. It's good to find things that like... You guys both like. You would do without him. Yeah. When he just happens to add... Value. Value, exactly. But I realized... See, you have hobbies. I don't have one hobby. I just like, I have sports. But...

I forgot to tell you. What? I did Pilates with the Reformer machines for the first time ever. Did you love it? So I have a trainer, as you guys know, because I'm not going to lie. I have been suffering from some depressive episodes where like when I'm depressed, I can't work out. Like I could work. I could like talk shit. I cannot get myself to work out because it's a very like happy thing in my head. Yeah.

And it feels like I'm torturing myself more. And I'm like, the only thing that could be worse than me being depressed is me like working out and being depressed. Yeah. Like sweating with like a dumbbell in my hand and also hating myself. Like why? So I realized the only way I'm going to do it is if I get a trainer. So I'm like four sessions in and it's been really fun. Her name is Al Lyons. I tag her. So she was like, hey.

I learned out, I learned, I learned that I'm not, not flexible. I'm actually quite mobile, but I have tight hips. She called me mobile. I don't know what that means, but I like took that as a positive for the week. I agree. You've seen my mobility. No, I've seen your mobility. You can move. Wild.

So she goes, you need to do Pilates to help like your form and actually work on your hips and stuff. Paige, I loved it. Hannah, we're so mentally connected. It's fucking crazy. I have a Pilates class scheduled for tomorrow at 8 a.m. because I was like, I need to start getting back into like my Pilates. It's the only workout that I really fucking like. And you like reformers versus...

yeah i do we have to start doing together i went to this place called good day pilates in soho okay so i go to this place called 100s pilates it's on like 20 something i don't know if you live in new york city just look it up it's on instagram it's 100s um like the number not spelled out yeah and i was like i used to go all the time like i used to go almost like five days a week and i was like all right i'm gonna sign up for like three days a week next week

And then I was like, you know what? Like, I don't need to jump into something and then like be stressed out that I didn't fully commit. And I was like, I'm going to start with just doing it like one day a week. And I want my morning routines to become better. So I was like one day a week, I'm going to go to Pilates at 8 a.m. And like then when I like have conquered that and I'm comfortable, I'll add the second day and then like eventually whatever. Yeah.

Oh, seriously, how proud would Perry be of me right now? You're like, wait, Perry was low-key, right? I just needed some time to get there. No, but, like, I do love Pilates, and I think it's the only workout that...

helps my body because I'm not trying to like run and jump and like I'm not trying to get like a six pack and like fucking I don't give a shit about that. Like I just want to be lean and toned and like I want my ass to be hard. And it's not like super hot girl workout where you know you do some hot girl workouts and you're like we're not really doing anything. Yeah. Like like yeah this muscle kind of hurts.

But what I like about the Reformer Pilates is right when you're about to die, they'll change it. Like they don't make you do a move for too long. Yeah, no. And it's just really fun. So if anyone wants to try Reformer Pilates. But the next day you wake up and you're like, what in the fuck? Like you're so and like, look, Jennifer Aniston swears by it. So that's good enough for me. And you kind of feel like you're doing BDSM.

Yeah. And you just, you think about sex a lot during it because you're like, wait, I am so fucking flexible.

But because there's a machine, like if you're not that flexible, you don't look stupid. Like yoga, some positions I look so stupid and I could tell people look at me like she's a stupid bitch. But in Pilates, you are using the machine based on your body. I don't know. I can't. And like no one. If you're in a Pilates class, I'm telling you, no one is looking at you because you're in such a like weird position that you're just focusing on not.

falling on your face or like yeah get hurting yourself if you lose focus you will get eaten by the machine yeah like you will like seriously fall and I like the machine because if you're doing it kind of wrong the machine starts making like noises and stuff yeah and like the instructor will come over and be like you're dumb you know I'm

Like, no, I know that. But it's like on the corner. Yeah. You need to raise your leg. No, that's the other leg. No, you're left. Yeah. No, that's your right. And you're like, fuck. Yeah. I love Pilates. And I'm so glad. Wow. We have to go to a class together. We know we should do. I do think it's important to hold friends accountable. When I have a friend who's like, you have to be there every Monday. I'll do it because I'll fucking not show up for myself. But I will not not show up for friends.

Literally. And that's people pleasing 101. And that is my own issues with people pleasing. Did you buy the TikTok lip gloss? Yeah, dude. I think I got scammed. I did it for the gigglers. That's a lie. I did it for myself. Hold on. Let me check. You want to know what's a great app? The Shopify app. When it says like things are shipping. Yep. Yep. It's. Oh, it shipped. It shipped.

Wow, it shipped. Okay, because the last time I... Oh, so it hasn't come yet. No. I thought it didn't work. Last time I checked, it was just like order placed and it was like that for like 10 days and I was so pissed. Okay, order shipped...

And we'll see if it works. This is like that ad that everyone's getting on TikTok about like the Sarah Cameron, whatever, lip plumper and whatever. I wanted to try that for the giggler. So we'll see if it works. There was actually a girl on Instagram because we love talking. I just think it's important to talk about our insecurities and our faces. And there's one girl who talked about like how she always wanted nose job and why she decided not to. Yeah. I know a lot of girls who got a nose job and they fucking love it. But her thing was that the only reason she didn't like her nose was

And she had like a stereotypically different looking nose. Like it wasn't like a tiny baby nose, but I thought she was really pretty. Yeah. She, she goes cause a guy in her first boyfriend when she was 12 told her her nose was too big.

And she was like, I've always loved my nose. And then you think I feel like so many things were insecure about is because one dumb ass guy with a shrimp dick at 12 years old, like a guy when he was 12 told me that I had elf ears and that I had man arms and I like never forgot it. Like I still will look twice when I wear like spaghetti straps being like, are my man arms coming out?

I had a guy one time tell me that the like thong underwear that I bought. I mean, I was fully in college, like fully my boyfriend. Like this was three days ago that the like Victoria's Secret underwear that I bought, like from like the pink collection that said like pink on it was childish. And I could never shop there again because it was so in my head. Is that crazy? Yeah.

And it's so crazy, but it also reminds you of like trolls or people who are mean online. Like just because one person thinks a type of way does not mean everyone hates your underwear. And like no one was seeing it. It was him and I and that's it. And I was so insecure about it. Guys are the worst. Guys are the worst. But it's also like most of them are just flirting with you, which is again like the more twisted thing.

Do you know in Victoria's Secret they have like normal thongs but then they have the thongs with like the two lines. The two lines. I didn't mean lines like the two straps. Yes. Yeah. OK. Yeah. That's part that goes around your hips.

yeah yeah why does that make it so much sluttier when there's more fabric i don't know because my friend was like you should get that and i'm like i'm not a stripper and she's like there's more fabric and i was like i'm confused i need to leave wait the under the thongs i just bought on insta or on instagram on amazon the back like in the lower back has like crisscross straps but then they come into one strap and i was like

what in the strip club it's like a bridesmaid's hair yes you see what it looks like and i'm like why is this so slutty like they love them party in the back yeah my problem though is sometimes you'll get underwear that you think is so cute but then you'll wear it with like leggings or something and you could like see the pat like not the pattern but like i'll have a bow and like the you could see the bump of the bow yeah yeah men made those

Men made those. And then I wonder, like, are they even looking at our underwear? Well, that's the whole thing with lingerie. Not to go back to the beginning, but do men care? I've dated a lot of men that are like, I mean, just take it off, please. Yeah. Like, I guess I've never, like, worn it enough. I don't think any guy's ever seen me naked and been like, the only thing that would make this better is if you had a lace bra on right now. Right.

But like the light pink lace bra, not the blue one. I will say though, I have had boyfriends comment on my favorite nude bra from Victoria's Secret, which I will never throw out and I will never get rid of, that like they've hate it. They're like, I hate this color. Like it's a grandma bra. Yeah, like why do girls always wear this color? And I'm like, not, it doesn't have anything to do with you motherfuckers. I want you to know that. It's for certain clothes. Like we can't wear a colored bra on like a white shirt.

meant true men can be so easily manipulated and i think we have to get smarter with like perspectives and like what they're expecting of us if you're always dressed to the t with them or like even when you're hanging like they expect so much shit like if we don't have anything to do i'm in a big t-shirt yeah so like then if i decide to not like they're not going to be all picky like you just can't spoil these motherfuckers

Okay, Paige, do we have any front page news? I've really dropped the ball recently with front page news. It's like I don't even remember her. Wait, were you fuming at the pictures from Ben and Jen walking in Central Park? Yes. No, like they're personally attacking me now. I'm pulling it up right now. Hannah, you've ruined them for me, honestly. Like I can't look at them anymore and not think of you being infuriated.

There was like a New York Times article. Oh, no, here it is. Glamour. The headline is Ben Affleck reportedly flew across country just to watch J-Lo perform.

That's not romantic. He has a private jet and it's not just to watch JLo perform. JLo performs at Madison Square Garden. It's not like Dez flew across country last minute to see me do a 15 minute stand up set in a basement. Like this is a no, this is called being in a celebrity relationship. Right. Go off girl.

Is that a fucking headline? I know. I know. I mean, I know it's I know everything they're doing is like for publicity, but it's also like, OK, we're done. Like, we're over it. We got it. You guys are the perfect couple. Thank you. What's not? No, this is my problem with it. It's my insecurities that I'm like J-Lo like has a great life.

And it still seems like she needs more. And I'm like, how am I supposed to be content with my life if J-Lo is still trying to get attention to make people think a type of way about her? Because her barometer is different than yours. Like...

Her peak, like, okay, your peak attention is like her lowest. Yeah. Because she's fucking J-Lo. So once she gets more and more famous and more and more attention, then she gets used to that point. And then you need more and more. It's like being a drug addict. It's just attention. Well, it's like a Justin Bieber documentary where he said he like had so much dopamine from all his concerts that like just normal days, like he gets depressed. I mean, I totally get that.

Yeah, absolutely. Okay. What do you think about Chelsea Handler dating Joe Coy? Be about this. I love that. I love it because wasn't he on Chelsea lately? Originally? Oh my God. I was DMing, um,

I was DMing Amanda from Skinny Not Fat. And I was saying, I was like, I love this so much. He was always a guest on her talk show. And I think that's like hilarious. So they've been friends forever. They've been friends forever. He's hysterical. And I love that for her because I feel like she's always gone for these like boring rich dudes who just can't keep up with her mentally. Yeah. And I think laughter is the secret to any relationship ever.

And go off Chelsea. I just think she's very I've looked up to her. She's like my comedy icon. And I think that she was very into the like, I'm single. I don't need a man. But like he knows her for her. And it makes me very happy. Will Smith said on page six on open relationship with Jada Pinkett. Marriage can't be a prison. Oh, yeah.

I've also oh my gosh so my last episode of Burning in Hell if anyone cares about relationships I highly recommend you listen it's with this guy called the angry therapist and his whole thing is normalizing that like relationships are hard like stop with the whole it's supposed to be easy.

I think it's supposed to be easy maybe like the first month or two. Yeah. Given a couple variables. But like relationships are not easy. And Will Smith actually said on Instagram the other day, anything that's incredible is going to be hard work in your life. Okay. But does that mean that my husband has to bang someone else? That's the thing. There are boundaries and we're trying to figure what those are. You know, like...

I don't care how much I have to work at something. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with my husband. No. A lot of it is like... I'm mad at him already. I'm mad. You're mad at your future... I'm mad. Yeah. I feel that for you. He already fucked you up in the head. Dude. I do think you know your boundaries and everyone has their own red flags. Like some people...

Are cool with like Guys not spending that much time with them Some girls like can't do without it Like you have to find what your like Real pet peeves are No that's so true And I guess like if you do have an open relationship Like there are probably so many situations And like it's so unique to people Like because you could have an open relationship But it's like Okay well it's only open on Saturday nights And I need to know where you're going And I also have to be in the room Like it could be that type of open relationship Or

Or do you think open relationships work when it's two people who are so down to be in an open relationship, not when it's one person and the other person's like, okay, maybe I can. I would just cry. But I have no knowledge of that. I would just cry all day. I do think also when they say relationships aren't meant to be easy, as in, I realize I just spent all seasons with Des. You say that, right? I say that. You're like,

Because I did get engaged not knowing the man outside of Global Pandemic, which was risky. And also, I didn't know him for all the seasons. But what I realized why relationships aren't always easy is because, like, is life easy? Right. No. And, like, if they're your partner in life, that means it's fun being with me when, like, my life is going really well. But I'm also going to have times in my life where, like, I'm struggling. Right. And that person has to be in it with you. Relationships are hard. Yeah.

Get a helmet. Did you just say get a helmet? Wait, I think we need to put that on a shirt. Relationships are hard. Get a helmet. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't R. Kelly get in trouble? Yeah. Thank God. That fucking loser. R. Kelly found guilty on all counts in sex trafficking trial. Yeah. Obviously. He's 54. There's so many people that were hurt by him. But further fucking more?

Aaliyah was like groomed by him. He faces 10 years to life in prison. I hope he gets life. How do you really feel about it? Wait, okay. Here's the best one. This is my final story. Angelina Jolie and The Weeknd fuel dating rumors with another dinner in LA. How do you feel about that being a potential couple? The Weeknd pulls like gorgeous women. Some of the hottest women in Hollywood.

Like he was with Selena. Bella. He's way younger than Angelina Jolie too, right? Yeah. So she's 46 and he's 31. Okay, wait, let me see if we had anything else on our Google Doc because so, oh, Jack Harlow. Yeah, you wrote, what is going on with you and Jack? Okay. I love him. And I think that he has taken my Post Malone spot.

The dirty white rapper spot. Yeah. Like no longer do I want to date Post Malone. I don't care about him. Him and I are so last week. If I met Jack Harlow, I would do anything he told me.

Why? I don't know. I just love him. I think I like his personality. I think he's funny. I think he's like eclectically hot. Like he's not like your typical hot guy. I think he's talented. I think we get along. Jack Harlow is your Travis. Jack Harlow is your MGK. Yes. Wait, I'm shipping this. If I ever meet him, I have to date him. I have to.

He also, somebody asked him what his type was and he said brunettes. Like flat out just brunettes. He's a baby though. Can I tell you something? Every single boyfriend I've ever had, ever, ever, ever,

And I started dating at the ripe old age of 15. I'm 28. Every single one of their types is blonde. Why are you doing this to yourself? I don't know. I'm a self-masochist. I will say this, though. Everyone I've dated and then, like, we've broken up, the next girl that they date is brunette.

So I'm just out here changing men. Changing lives. Changing lives for the brunette population. Maybe first date, just be like, do you like blondes or brunettes? And be like, be honest with me. Like, don't. Yeah, like if one more person gives me Margot Robbie as their celebrity crush, I'm like, what are you doing with me? Did I tell you how I was watching a lot of Ted Bundy stuff and I realized I'm Ted Bundy's type? Yeah. I'm also Derek Jeter's type. Yeah.

but i digress no but like minka kelly i'm walmart minka kelly let's be honest a hundred percent he also dated mariah carey not that i look like mariah carey but i don't not look like mariah right wait that's so true you don't look like mariah carey but you don't but i don't look oh my god and then his current girl's name is hannah so there's something um and then he also dated yes

Was it Vanessa who's with Nick Lachey? I don't look like her, but if she was Italian, she'd look like me. Yeah, that's true. Okay, anyway, um...

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Okay. What does that mean? So it's about this guy who got convicted of rape. Raping like three girls. Okay. And it turns out that he has...

Multiple personality disorder. Wait, is this the one on Netflix? Yep. Oh, is it so good? It's that good. I almost put it on last night because I was like, wait, the one that's schizophrenic and they're talking about how he changes. So he's they they're still unsure. But OK, there's three things I love most serial killers, cult leaders. I do like pyramid scheme leaders also. And I love multiple personality disorder shit. Basically,

It's from when something really traumatizing happens to you as a kid that you literally have to like leave your own body and become someone else to like protect yourself. So apparently his dad was super abusive when he was young. So he created these different identities. Like one is this guy named Arthur who's straight up British, like gets into a full British accent and he like kind of runs shit and they make him go to sleep. Then there's the scary Serbian guy.

Then there's this lesbian girl. Then there's like a baby kid and he goes and he's you're watching him switch. But people were very unsure if he was faking it or not, because the therapist who was like very supportive of this stuff will be like, OK, let's try to fuse all the identities or like, is there another one? Like, so they're kind of pushing it. But he was like either he's an incredible actor, but then he ends up having more. He has 24 different ones. How does he keep them all straight?

Well, that's why you're like, is he really faking it? Because someone wrote a book on him and followed him around for two years and said there were never any inconsistencies. Creepy, I know. No, that's fucking terrifying. But then they found out that he was basically not guilty because of insanity. Because they said it wasn't Billy that did it. The Serbian guy broke into the car and then they switched to the lesbian girl who raped the girl.

And that Billy's identity didn't do it, but he's insane and needs to get help. It's a whole thing. I highly recommend it. Wait, I'm going to watch that tonight, I think. Something light. Something to put me to sleep. Something super light. Then, this is also on Netflix. It's called Made You Look. I love when you say the Netflix. It's literally, you're going to be such a good mom, Hannah. Yeah.

also on the netflix yeah it's just the world wide web yeah guys this one's really exciting okay it's called made you look and it's about fake art so at first you're like doesn't sound as exciting oh it is okay the art industry in new york is so much more wild and more pretentious than like the fashion industry in new york yeah who are the actual people that are buying rare famous art like art's going billionaires

Billionaires. So like millions of dollars. So basically this woman is working for this very famous art gallery. And this woman approaches her with a Ruth Rethko. Okay. Basically this scheme happened over like 20 years where like millions of dollars of fake art were made by this like Chinese guy who his craft is perfecting, whatever. Long story short, that makes it interesting. The owner of the art gallery...

This prestigious art gallery in New York is Armie Hammer's dad. Shut the fuck up. And that's when shit got interesting because we don't know anything about this guy wears like velvet suits is always tan. It's like December and he's like tan with like

Lowlights And he's a character And basically They don't know If Armie Hammer's family Like kinda knew Cause they found out That majority of their income Was from all these fakes Absolutely they knew Come on Nobody

But the woman who's buying it from the gallery is fighting to the death being like, I ran it by all these people. And then this person who talks about con artists says like the person getting conned really does not subconsciously like want to admit that they've been conned. So they and they want to see what they wish they saw. So that is it. That's a good one. That's a crazy one. What a twist that it's Armie Hammer's dad. Where the fuck is he?

He's your boyfriend. Finally. Finally, to wrap this episode up, we have Lulu Rich. And I'm going to have you talk about this one. But I want to preface it with stand-up comedy is an interesting journey for me. Every now and then I do some gigs that I'm not necessarily proud of. This last gig, I had four shows in New Jersey this last weekend. Turns out it was actually in a hotel in a conference room. Okay.

And I walked in and I was like, I'm the president of a mid-level marketing scheme and you guys are all going to make a lot of money. So anyway, I referenced, I was like, are we in an episode of Lula Rich? It actually was rowdy and I had the most amazing time. But for a second, I was like, how did we get here? Paige, what do you think about Lula Rich? Because we've now watched it.

They're certifiably insane. They're insane humans. Yeah. When I watched the first episode, I was like, okay, I don't know if they like meant for this to be a pyramid scheme. Like, I don't think they left some information out. Yeah. Like, I don't think, but then when it got to like the Tijuana skinnies, I was like, well, so Elena, um, our CEO said that she has a whole group chat with her friends called the Tijuana skinnies.

For people who don't know, it was basically her telling certain women that they need to get like a balloon in their belly to lose weight. And there was a guy in Tijuana who would do it for them. I mean, absolutely insane. And also, I just look, I know that it's easy to get like caught up in things and like blindsided and get in bad situations and be brainwashed and all this stuff. But bitch.

If you're remortgaging your house, something is fucking up. Like, what are you talking about? How did people get so deep? Paige, I disagree with you. Okay, what? I watched that and I was like, I would fall for all this shit.

Because it's just like a cult. Like I would I think college sports was a cult. Like I had to do like planks on like 150 degree surfaces and your skin is like melting into the court. But everyone else is doing it. And you're like, but I want to be the greatest. So I guess we're doing it like it's it's crazy how you can push yourself to the weirdest places. I get that. But I guess maybe I just had a harder time because every time they showed the clothes, I was like,

You should all be shot. It was disgusting. It was disgusting. But it was this very like. Who are the people that buy all of this from you guys? Like I want to meet them. It felt like butter. I'm like, yeah, have you ever felt Lululemon? Like get Lululemon. Have you ever seen a solid color ever? Because invest in that. I mean, New Yorkers were not buying this. New Yorkers just want to wear black or gray.

It was giving me the heebie-jeebies. But for women who were feeling bored at home or wanted more money but also want to spend time with their kids, like they were pulling on heartstrings of specific demographic who was feeling very vulnerable. And this...

What is more exciting than hope? Right. So she's selling hope that imagine you remortgage your home and then next thing you know, your husband could retire because you're making so much money. But this is where mid-level marketing schemes are fucked up. Because at first I was like, okay, it makes sense. Like just work hard and you'll do well. And it's kind of tough. No, no, no. Mathematically, it's a pyramid. So the amount of money people are making at the top of the pyramid is

There's no way that people at the bottom of the pyramid can ever make close to that money. Ever. Ever. So that's why mid-level marketing, actually they're legal, but pyramid schemes are illegal because you're actually tricking people. If something seems too good to be true, it is. Like, use your brain. But Paige, there will always be like five to ten people who are making crazy amounts of money in those schemes because they're the examples because they're at the very top, but they're in a completely different...

um situation than the people who are at the bottom of it because you literally can't get the same rollover of the people below you as the people who have hundreds of thousands of people below them i mean it literally looked like stepford wives like it gave me it freaked me out toward that like the last episode i was like you guys are actually like giving me the chills and then when the clothes start to have like holes in it and smells yeah oh

Imagine your house being full of LuLaRoe. No. But the funniest part is they're still in business. I know. That's the craziest part. But I think it said they only have like 1,500...

people now when they had like 60,000. Yeah. It's crazy. I mean, they basically started a cult for clothes that is like Mormonism or not Mormonism, Scientology. All I kept thinking of was the Scientology documentary. I was like, this is exactly like Scientology, but ugly leggings. Paige, I'm not trying to have Scientology come after us.

They don't listen to us. They don't care about us. They're not gigglers. They're not gigglers. What is our housekeeping? Check Philadelphia Punchline November 14th and 15th to see if we have any seats left. I don't know if we do, but we are going to book different shows. We also have new merch at giggly-squad.com. I think that's it.

Look out for Paige when she's on Amazon Live. She's killing it. Listen to Burning in Hell. Look out for Hannah when she's doing her stand-ups in conference rooms and secretly signing you up for a pyramid scheme. Oh my god, we love you guys so much and thank you for giggling with us. Bye.