Giggling about Paige’s big move, sex on the second date, and accidental dick pics
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I mean, the day just got away from me. Welcome to the giggle world. We're about to giggle the day away. Welcome. It's me, Hannah Burner, with my friend Paige.

Paige, what's up? That just sounded like, you know, when you're little and you watch those like Nickelodeon shows or like Disney. Hey, it's me, Hannah. And this is my friend, Paige. Hey, didn't see you there. And then there's someone in the corner with the wand. Yeah, like we're about to talk about something wholesome, but really it's just like...

Let's get into talking about looking butts. Just kidding. Paige has some exciting news. Yesterday was a huge day in your life. Yesterday was a really big day in my life. Not only did I move apartments, but I realized at the end of the day, I did it without my mom. You know, like somebody DM me and was like, so crazy that you moved like on your own. I was like, yeah. And then I thought about it and I was like, oh, my God.

Wow, I didn't even think to like, oh, should like one of my friends like be with me all day? Should my parents come down? I was just like, no. It's because you're an independent woman. I mean, you did have a full team of people helping you, but not blood related.

No, but they were great and they were paid to be there. So it doesn't really count, but they were certainly paid to be there. But what is your like mental state? This is like people say moving is the hardest thing. It's a big transition. Where are you at? Okay. The process of moving is very annoying, except you know that I love throwing things away. So I actually enjoyed moving.

throwing away just like tchotchkes like what did i have in like certain drawers if you've never touched it in three years maybe you don't need it my grandma told me a rule that if you don't wear something in a year throw it out yeah she's right she's smart it's so it's so crazy how things come full circle because last night i was watching this show and it's called summer house and um it's a show on bravo

And I was getting, like, all these DMs just, like, you know, just, like, the typical, like, you're a lazy piece of shit. You know, like, why would you have a boyfriend? You don't do anything. Like, you don't have a job. You know, just, like, the normal. The norm stuff. And I...

You know, and valid, granted, they are correct. I am a lazy piece of shit and I do love to lay in the bed. And it's not my fault that they showed it so much in the summer on how much we really did love to lay in the bed. But I, in moving, I feel like in the past 24 hours, I'm a different person. Ask me how many loads of laundry I've done. It's only noon. How many could you have done? Four. Four.

I woke up... Is it in your apartment? Yep. It's right in there, right in the kitchen. Shut up. I've done four. So you've reached a new level of status in your life. In New York City, anyone who's listening, you don't have laundry in the apartment. Paige, this is success. Like, this is...

Fuck getting engaged I have a washer and dryer Not only did I do laundry I folded it when it got out of the dryer But the question is Paige How long is this gonna last Because you know that initial excitement Like when you meet a new guy And you're like this is the new me I know And then three days later you're burning his house down What? I

I don't know because my mental state at my old apartment, like it's so crazy how where you live really does affect like how you feel because everything was so cluttered. I literally lived in one room for five years. I was basically kidnapped by myself. You know, I kidnapped my damn self.

And then moving in here, like the past 24 hours, I really just like, I'm like, I want to get shit done. I want to like unpack this, do this. But all like my new furniture and stuff is coming this week. So like I don't have,

places to put everything, so it's a little cluttered, but... No, but this is amazing because there was not enough sage to undo all the memories of that apartment. And sometimes it just... You feel cluttered not only in the space, but like in the history of it. Energetically. Yeah. And when you have a new place, it's just...

you yeah you have a fresh start and you could decide like you don't have the same routines that you did in the last place where you're like okay i could wake up and now like do yoga because there's like a room maybe it's a yoga room who knows maybe i'm gonna become flexible this year i woke up and i was like i'm gonna have a hot water with lemon what like am i okay but i think people who are listening this is our mental health moment is brain elasticity actually i don't know if that's the quite the

word for it but I had actually a master life coach on burning in hell and she was talking about how you can change your neural patterns and it was very fascinating but it just to remind you that like you're never stuck in the rut you think you're in like just because you're in a pattern in your brain does not mean that you can't change

And she said a lot of the time we don't change because we know what we want. We don't like actually believe it. Like you go look in the mirror and be like, I don't need a man. And then be like, let's manifest it. I don't need a man. But you have to go actually a lot smaller to little things. Like I don't need a person to compliment me for me to feel loved. So like you do little things to get there instead of just the big one. Or like I can be alone all day and be okay with my thoughts. So like, I don't know. She was fucking awesome, but...

I'm excited for your new place because I feel like whatever you want to work on changing will be easier with your brain like knows it's in a different situation and maybe we'll think some different thoughts. Yeah, I just feel like I want to be more productive. Like I want to get shit done. I for the first time in my life, like I really it's the first time that I haven't put a guy first.

And like the past six months, like I've been by myself. And like yesterday I had a moment where at the end of the day, I was just like, wow, I moved into my own damn apartment, like figured everything out for the day, like got rid of my last apartment, like I'm unpacking in my new one. Like I just felt really proud of myself. Like, oh my God. And you did all of this and you, um,

your dms are dry as hell but you feel good yeah like i felt good i felt like it and it's not that like i want to feel worthy for a guy but i felt like oh my god if a guy walked into my life right now it's like it's not like what do you what do i bring to the table like bitch i am the table like you're like get out of my apartment you know like i feel like i

I don't know. Wait, that was the most beautiful thing you've ever said. Bitch, I am the table. I'm just having one of those moments where my serotonin is pretty high. So catch me later today and I'll be dead. Catch me outside without my serotonin boost. Oh my God, I have some front page news on her, which is we'll get to it. Oh yeah, Des mentioned that to me and he was pretty upset about it.

Okay, interesting. Because I, yeah, I'm very interested. So we'll get into that. But I think it's beautiful. I think that we're all raised to be like, okay, like, if we're pretty, and like, we're doing well, and we can get this amazing guy, and then that would be the bow on our life. And I think you'd been trained that based on society. And then somewhere you realize, like, wait, I'm actually unhappier if I'm with a guy where it's all about his life and not mine. Yeah.

And then once you really focus on your shit and your life, the right dudes who are into who you really are will come towards you.

You know that Instagram like overheard New York and like overheard LA? There was one the other day and it was this girl and she was like, I hate like the guys that I'm hooking up with because they think they can talk to me after. And one of my guy friends sent this and was like, if this isn't you, I'm like, no, but it's so frustrating. Like you're annoying. Like stop. And I just feel like I'm in a part of my life where I'm where I am.

Really genuinely don't give a shit. Well, rapper Saweetie was on TikTok and she said something really funny where she was like, these boys out here don't understand that they're just an option and then they will pursue you so hard until you want to date them and then they'll play you. It's just like, how? Wait, did she do one? Wait, maybe it wasn't her. Maybe it was... I'm trying to think. Wait.

where I saw it but someone else did one and it was like let's change the narrative or like let's

I forget how it started, but it was like girls that sleep with you too quickly, like doesn't mean they're like slutty or anything. It means they don't care about you and they never thought of you as like a potential boyfriend. Like they don't give a shit. That's why they slept with you so quickly. Well, that's why I tried to show the whole thing, like especially in summer house where like some people I didn't ever saw as husband material and people just like couldn't understand that I could like like someone and enjoy being around them, but like never take

them seriously like that and people like couldn't fathom that but it's like i have my own walls up and because i've been hurt and my mental state has been fucked up by dudes so like there's some dudes that you just know would ruin you emotionally but like you're attracted to them and it's important to decipher that and it's okay but also further fucking more

Des reveals on Summer House this next episode that we had sex on our second date. And I remember it just being like a quarantine thing where like I hadn't had sex in so long and I liked this guy. And we spent like two long dates together. And I was like, let's test the car.

Let's see what we're working with. Yeah. For a second, I was like, oh, I don't usually. And he was like, I don't care. Like, you don't have. I know. I really as I get older, like and girls will always ask me. And like if I'm giving a girl advice, I would say, yes, wait. Like it only gets them more obsessed with you because you have to like they have to like work for it. But. Mm hmm.

If it's meant to be, like, he does not give a shit. But I would go so far as to disagree with you to an extent where, like...

It actually just protects you waiting longer. Because if you wait longer, you will see, like, is he just trying to chase you? Or if he really liked you. So, because, like... But if you give it up early, you could get really into him early and not see his true colors. Because you, like, get really into him. So, it's like... But then, also, I've waited and never had sex with a guy. And they still can manipulate you. So...

And I don't know what I'm talking about. And I've had sex and not even known someone's name. And it's like, I love you. I like had a realization, too. I feel like me and my friends were just like realizing things. I had a realization the other day, too, because sometimes I get caught up and I'm like, do I like him?

Or am I bored? Like, and I was like chatting with this one guy and he texted me and he goes, this is going to sound like so insane or I don't know. He said something and he was just like, I want to know everything about you. And I sat there and I was like, wow, that was really sweet. Have I ever felt like I want to know everything about someone? And I think I can pick like a few times where I'm like, I'm bored.

fascinated by you and I just like I want to know about your childhood and so now that's my new like barometer when I'm talking to certain guys like there's one guy I'm talking about talking to and I was just like I don't give a shit

like i don't care and i would other guys and i'm like i want to know everything about you i would argue that i suffered from being shallow way worse than you like i'm very i was very shallow in my dating life and but i would like know it i'd be like this guy can't form a sentence he played too much football has been hit too many times in the head but i like really think he's hot and i know he's six five

And I, but I also like love the idea of being this like girl that was just like, you know, having hot guys around her and just like so in control. But that was me having my own intimacy blocks and like wanting to be in control, which we're working on. But with Des, like I like fell in love with how his brain works. Like you have to fall in love with how a dude's brain works.

Yeah. Like you love how he gets ideas and how he like has a conversation, how he deals with other people. Like it's all those nuances. But the first three months you can enjoy anyone with dopamine. Hannah.

I can't even explain to you. You can convince yourself to enjoy anyone in three months. So y'all don't be making decisions about your future. That's why when girls are like, does he like me? Do you even like him? You don't know until the three months dopamine stops hitting and you guys start seeing each other's real selves and you see yourself fighting over boundaries. And that's when chick gets real. After three months is usually like, I'm either going to become your girlfriend or I'm not. Yeah. And...

Anyone I think that decides like before that, it really is like you're just having so much fun because after three months is a therapist once told me that like you can only pretend to be your best version for three months after that, like it's done. So like you start to see certain things where you're like, I don't love that or like, oh, that like makes me cringe.

and I totally believe in that. That's like your trial has run out, and it's not that you dislike that person. You're just like, and I'm not having fun anymore, and we never dated, so don't worry about it. We're cool. I would do six months a lot where the first three months are really fun, and then you start being yourselves and get a little annoying. You see people's annoying sides, and then it either becomes a pattern,

And you need to end it or you realize how to work through it to be like, okay, he likes waking me up at 6 a.m. I don't like that. Either we work that out or this is an issue that we have to break up. Love I bring up sleeping as my...

I'm so annoyed. Well, now that we're in this, like, inspirational mode, I feel like we should do some advice. Yeah, let's do it. I miss these questions. Some people have some crazy things. This is a wild one. I just moved in with my boyfriend, and he won't get rid of his parents' ugly leather couch from 1996. Help. Spill red wine on it. What kind of couch did she say? Did she say it was leather? It's an ugly leather couch. You have to, like, accidentally have your keys in your hand and rub it. Okay.

You're like, oh my God. Light a cigarette. I don't even know if you smoke or not. It doesn't matter. Drop that shit on. Light the fire. Get out. Call the firefighters and they'll deal. What is the emotional attachment to said couch? And two, like, is it a money thing? Like you don't want to buy a new couch? Because let me tell you, couches are like shadily really expensive. And it's so fucking annoying. What couch did you go with?

Or is the designer helping you? Yeah, my girlfriend, like, did everything. I'm like, wait, what couch should we... But it's, like, an ivory. Okay, cool. I've wandered into, like, the cloud couch. Is that...

is it good or is it just a trend? I'm going to tell you unpopular opinion. The cloud couch, I think is comfortable. It's very low to the ground. Interesting. Which I don't love, but it's sitting on the floor, but it's wide. Like I like how wide the kitchen, the cushions are, but I think after time it looks messy.

I think it starts to look messy and I feel like every single guy in New York City has a gray cloud couch. Okay, this is a great question that we hit on, but I think we can finalize our thesis on it. How do I know if I like a guy or I just like the attention? If you get distracted by other guys.

Yeah. Like if the second another hot guy walks in, you're distracted. That means you liked his attention, but now you want his attention. Like there's plenty of guys that like I can go out with and like absolutely rip it on a Saturday and have so much fun. And like, I'm like, I really like this person and whatever. And the,

moment like one of my girlfriends calls me and is like this hot guy is interested in you like I'm out. Yeah. Like I'm done. Yeah. So you really you have to put yourself in a situation where if someone better walked in would you leave

your original person also if he starts going on a long story about himself and you don't care care that means you don't like him because if he's not like asking you questions about you or talking about you and he's like really talking about like his family life and you're like what did i have for dinner last night you don't fucking like him i find myself doing that a lot also like um

Also, like, small things will start to piss you off. Yeah. Like, really small things. And you're just like, yeah, this is, like, my gut telling me, like, get out. My boyfriend wants to stay home weekend nights, but I want to do fun stuff. What do we do? Oh, that's hard. I feel like... So I have some questions. Does he get mad if you go out with the girls?

And like, is there does he have social anxiety? Like maybe it's something that you guys can work on together. Is there something fun that you both like to do? Could you trick him to go outside? Because then once he's outside, he'll actually have more fun.

Also, do you guys actually really like each other if you don't like to do the same things for fun? Also, like, he could have, like, a crazy job where, like, then on the weekends he really is like, I need to, like, I need to die here. Yeah. Thank you. But I do think it's important you enjoy the same fun stuff. I do, too. Actually, I will tell you a small story about my ex-boyfriend Perry. So we...

contrary to like my actual personality and who I am as a person, he always wanted to go and like do things on the weekends and I didn't, which is so interesting. Why do you think that was? Wait, we have to unpack this. Because I feel like it had to do something with your psyche at the time. Yeah, like he would want to go like out to dinners and then like,

do something and I just like never wanted to like I was like can we just like lay on the couch I don't know what it is I've never like I've never or do you feel like that's who you are in a relationship like you're like okay I don't have to go out and be seen and flirt with people like I just want to be snuggly

I just think that whole year I was like the most anxious I've ever been in my life for whatever reason. Yeah. And like being outside in the outside world when you're anxious is just like, I can't. And also depression. Yeah. Not that I was like depressed dating him. Like he was great, but no, but you were going through like a lot of pressure. I was in a weird place in my life. Like I was in a weird, I was in a weird age. Um,

I think the best balance is like Friday nights. You stay in because I hate going out on Friday nights. Why? I don't know. There's something about like in New York City of like never really have fun on Friday nights. I feel like Saturday nights are I'm a big I used to be a big Thursday girl. That's why. Do you feel like Friday nights or everyone's too excited to go out at the end of the week and it's like almost corny? I don't know. The rules are like so different in covid now. But like, I mean, I did used to love like a Friday night happy hour. Yeah.

And then like getting like drunk, but I don't know, whatever. I'm such an adult now that like Saturday drinking during the day is my new vibe. But I think like stay in Friday nights and then go out a Saturday night. Like you have to have a compromise. What you shouldn't be forcing him to go out every single night. Yeah. Can we just talk about my lighting right now? Like,

Look at my lighting compared to your lighting. I've never lived with a window, so it's just crazy. That natural light just hits different. It hits different. Also, you're drinking iced coffee that you made? Yeah.

okay so i didn't make the iced coffee actually you know what brand of iced coffee it's that one what's the one you like drank over the summer stoke we love stoke we love stoke so here's my routine ice halfway up then to where the ice is i do oat milk i only drink chobani oat milk and then stoke and then on amazon i ordered these like gold stainless steel straws and it's

Fucking game changer. I love how you've embraced your influencer because I felt like you were fighting it for a long time when I'm like, Paige, you influence people. And now you're full like, OK, if you're going to have a straw, you need this straw. Just wait. Wait till everything is set up. The amount of content I'm just going to be pumping out. People are going to be like, stop with your outfits. No, no one will ever say that.

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That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash giggly. I don't know if you guys have noticed from my Instagram stories, but I've basically switched all my loungewear over to Skims. I was obviously obsessed with their bras and underwear, but now I really can't get enough of their soft lounge collection. I have their soft lounge tank with

with their matching lounge fold over pant. I'm absolutely obsessed. Not only do I wear it inside, but I actually wear it to travel a lot too. I noticed in my drawer the other day that basically all my bras and underwears are skims, but also now all of my t-shirts and my loungewear is skims.

I've pretty much cleared out all my lounge sets after I moved. I just like got rid of everything. I was like, I don't need all of these random sweatpants and sweatshirts and really replaced everything with skims because I know it's always going to look good and I know it always feels amazing.

And you know how much I love laying in bed, so if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan. Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com, now available in sizes XXS to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select Podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop-down menu. Help! I hate my besties, man, and they are serious. How do I deal?

I hate my besties, man. And they're serious. Well, you have to pick out the reasons why you hate him. Do you hate him because...

he treats your best friend like shit and she's in like a toxic abusive relationship and she doesn't know it or do you hate him because he's just like not the vibe like he's not funny you know like there's so many reasons she could love him that you don't like a hundred percent and it's important to understand the difference because you know like someone will start dating someone and you're like oh like they wouldn't be in my friend group and they kind of like yeah bring down the vibe but

As long as she's happy. I've had friends who I'm like, this guy's a straight nerd, you know, but he's not like cheating on her. He's just like, not it. But do you ever like meet someone's family? Do you like your friends? And you're like, oh, I didn't see that for them. But like, that's their normal.

So you don't always know. Wait, explain. You ever meet someone and you assume their family is just like your family and then you meet their family and like the vibe is just very different. So then you understand why they make decisions differently than maybe you do. And it's not good or bad. It's just like some people, like some people, the dad is really stern and the mom is quiet. Some people, the mom is really loud and bossy and the dad is just sweet. Some people, the dad is loud and

funny and the mom is loud and funny like there's so many different family environments that are your love story you know what i'm always fascinated by what guys that have moms that like this is gonna be so bad that listen to the whole thing guys that have moms were like in your head you're like you were definitely the biggest hoe in like year 20 like you're meeting them

can just tell if the mom is a hoe no I feel like you can tell like I feel like a New York trailer you're a hoe you're a hoe you're a hoe you're a hoe I don't know what it is it's just like a vibe that I get that I'm just like oh wow I think that you were probably like a whore what does that say about you that he wanted to date you

haven't met one of those i haven't no okay here's i should say this because i don't know who listens to this i haven't met a mom of a guy that i'm dated ever dated that i was like this mom's a whore she's backtracking like oh so you think my mom's a hoe like i'm not like thinking of someone i really think i really think that your parents say a lot about like who you're going to be attracted to but also that um

Once this guy I was dating, his mom was a bodybuilder. So I don't know what that says. Wait, this is actually I caught myself the other day. So this guy was like DMing me and I like started to like tell my mom about him. And I was like, wait, so cute. I like let me show you a picture and whatever we're talking. And then just like out of my mouth, I go, he kind of looks like dad. And then I was like, wait, that's disgusting. But I was like, oh, my God. He like kind of reminds me of my dad.

And like, I don't know. I got to a weird place mentally and I was just like, this is weird. I know. I don't love that for you. However, I feel like things get normalized growing up with it. Like I love guys with like strong noses.

And I think it's because my dad has like a larger nose. And I just think it's hot when a guy has like a nose that looks like it could take a punch. Yes. Like I really, I love guys that have light eyes who are like Italian type features, but have light eyes and could go either way. Because my dad has green eyes and I just...

Okay, I'm getting uncomfortable a little. Yeah, no, but do you think it's true that like girls, because they say like guys end up marrying girls that are like their mom. Yeah. And like, I really, I don't know. Do you think it's true that girls marry? Well, you're the one engaged. Do you think that Des has a lot of qualities that your dad has? Yes.

Like in like what? Like give me like a few. So they're both like light up a room. Funniest person ever. They're both very competitive. Like Des and I started playing volleyball tournaments like two months in and he was like legit yelling at me when I'd mess up. And I like low key loved it because he like cared so much. That's why my dad and I would fight about sports. Yeah. He also like, yeah, he'll get along with anyone and everything.

He has his own stuff going on. But then he also has a lot of sides of my mom. Because I'm actually really similar to my dad. I'm unorganized. I don't know directions. Des is super good. He's like an adult. He knows what the schedule is for the day. He'll drive me wherever because I don't have my license. I'm literally a baby. And then when I'm hungry, he gives me what to eat. But these are little things also about compatibility that people have to understand. It's not about who's hot. It's about who's hot.

It's literally like, I know I can't do directions, so I need a guy who's good with directions or I'll be lost my whole life. I need a guy that can turn on television. I don't know why televisions are so hard to turn on. Why are there two remote controls and if you press the wrong button, the next five hours is ruined? So he's really good at turning on TVs. I just go, turn on the TV, please. Samsung, we'll see you in court. How can we get a man to the moon?

but we can't turn on tv with one button dude last night i had this exact thought my roku like wouldn't connect to the wi-fi but the wi-fi was connected and i was just like it says connected fucking act like it you know like i was fighting with the wi-fi as if it was a boyfriend like says we're connected why don't you why don't you act like it act like it

Prove it. Prove that you're connected. I was like, have a fuck. I think Des is actually a combination of my parents. But didn't someone also say, like, the person you end up with should be more like your best friend than, like, your dad? I think Brene Brown said that. Brene Brown knows what's up. I have broken up with guys because they have qualities that I'm like, ooh.

That's like my dad would do it differently. And my dad might do it differently and it could be wrong. Yeah. But I like the way that that's how my dad is and that's what I know. Well, you want someone who feels like home. And what's crazy about Des and I is like, I've lived in like Florida, Wisconsin, whatever.

Des has lived in Ireland, traveled the whole world. And I ended up with a guy from Queens and he ends up with a girl from Brooklyn. And it's cause like when he sits at the dinner table with my family, we're just like, my dad feels like he's known him forever. And there's something super nice about that. But then some people like different, it depends on like your,

growth like some people are like I want someone who doesn't have like maybe the toxic patterns that I grew up with yeah people love the toxic patterns it's so weird too because we always talk about like if we've ever been in love and like whatever and I really like genuinely feel like the most in love I ever was was with my first boyfriend you're so obsessed with him I love him and he he has a girlfriend

She listens to the pod. She hates us. She probably... I don't think she's had a girlfriend. She's the one DMing you, calling you a lazy piece of shit. Her name is Jessica. I don't think he's had a girlfriend who, like, hasn't hated me. You know? It's just... It's fun for us. But anyway. I think I also loved him the most because he was the most like my dad. Like, one day he pulled up and was like... Because my family is, like, really crazy about, like, keeping their cars clean. And so my dad has, like, a...

It's like a whole thing. I don't know why we're like this. Like my dad would literally lock the windows as a child and you couldn't put them down because he just washed the car and he like couldn't have those streaks. It was really traumatizing. Whatever. I've talked about it in therapy. So like my dad has like... It's the most Italian. We have a vacuum in our garage like built into the wall just to vacuum your car. Just...

You just, that's where you pull up and my dad will vacuum inside your car in our garage. It's just who he is. And one day my boyfriend pulled up and was like, hey, can I use the vacuum in the car? You would have thought that my dad, like he had asked my dad like, hey, can I give you a million dollars? My dad was like, yeah, yes. My dad went out and bought this guy. My dad has never gone out and bought a present for anyone. He's never even known. I don't think he knows when my birthday is.

He went out and bought this man a full set of wiper fluid, like Windex, like this whole kit that you keep in your trunk. He felt understood that he keeps in his trunk so that you can wipe down anything in your car. And I was just like, what's happening here? And like, I really loved that, though. So like, I know that my next boyfriend has to clean his car. Oh, no. So we're just adding to this list.

oh my god and just like be like my has to bring me pancakes but i do think it's important for people to remember it's not what disney told you of like finding the best guy it's the best guy for you for example i actually got a dm of a girl and it started with like i actually was with dez and i was like that was like the beginning of the message and i clicked into it because you know i was i wanted to get my feelings hurt of course and she basically goes i was actually with dez this summer on the beach because i was on a riot date with

with his friend and he picked me up from the city and took me straight to a volleyball game. I, unlike you, hate volleyball and awkwardly sat there for three hours but Des was really nice and like talked to me because he could tell. So...

I thought about this. Because if I was her and I like went up to meet some guy in the Hamptons, he's like, let's go play volleyball. I'd be like, awesome. Like, I love that shit. But like to her, she was like, this is my living nightmare. But I got to meet Des. He's cool. I know the guy. No, I'd literally pass out from just like being so infuriated. Like, this is our first date. It's so funny because the stuff that Des and I have done, I'm like, there's a reason why two people click because...

We do shit that other people would probably hate. A thousand percent. A thousand percent. That's why, like, when I went through my breakup, I was just like, but you're going to find someone who loves doing shit with you that I hate doing. Yeah. You know, and that's what it really, like, comes down to. And it was so hard for you to get there, but, like, people also have to realize you have to know what brings you joy, and it's okay to tell someone, like, you're great, but I feel like I can find someone who I'm more compatible with, and that is...

totally have you watched that netflix show the one i didn't want to start because i felt like it would be a whole fucking thing hannah it well is it similar to are you the one no okay

It's basically, it really has been mind-fucking me. I'm almost done with it. I think I have like one episode left. It doesn't get good. I saw it on Instagram and everyone was like, you gotta follow it. You gotta watch it. You gotta watch it. It doesn't really get good until like the end of the second episode, like maybe beginning of third. You know I hate when that happens. I know, you hate that. You're like, it doesn't get good until six seasons in, but then it's fire. I know.

You waste your life for three years and then it's worth it. No, it's literally the worst show ever. You should totally watch it. Like, we should just do, like, parody video. Well, you cracked yourself up. You didn't even explain it. You didn't explain it. Crack my damn self up. Okay, so basically...

the gist is like this woman came up with this science that if you take everyone's like DNA, you actually can match people based on their DNA and like you're immediately going to be compatible and like this is your one true love. Like, so if you get matched, this is your true love. That's not true. I disagree. Wait, obviously it's not true because this is a made up show. Oh, it's made up? Yes. I thought it was a reality show. No. Oh my God, no. This is

I literally was like, I don't know a lot, but I know that that is not true. I was so proud of myself. I was like, I did the math. Not true. They're lying. You're like, I didn't go to medical school, but I'll tell you this, bitch. I was about to fight you. I was like, you really think you're DNA? Yeah, you were like, wrong. Wrong. I was like, oh my God. Okay. No, this is a made up show. It was hypothetical. If a scientist could find you, your true love based on your DNA. Yeah.

And like the whole show is just like, is it good? Is it bad? Like, what does it affect? Like people were married and then they would like get matched and it would and it was like, OK, but this is who I should really be. Like that person doesn't even speak English. Like it just it's crazy. Anyway, I think you should watch it because like I was asking like a bunch of people and I was like, would you do it? Like if this was real, would you get matched? Oh, my God. After getting engaged? Yeah. Like what if you were

What if you knew if you got matched? I would talk to him. I would be like, either we stay or we both get matched. We both get matched. And we'd come up with a mutual decision. And we'd be logical about it. However, there's so many different ways you love. So it's like, how are they going to say some love is better than another? You don't believe there's one soulmate for you. Hell no.

I don't either. I don't believe that there's one. Like, think of how much you love your first boyfriend. You're going to find someone else you love too. And like, it's not going to take away from that love. It's just all different. I do think there's something about finding a life partner that like there has to be a lot of compatibilities for your day-to-day life.

Right. Like I've never even been to Australia. How do I know that my soulmate isn't living in Australia? I'm obsessed with Australia. I'm going to go. I want to live there for, I want to do like a comedy tour there and live there for like three months. Wow. I would actually love that. And I would so come visit. I was talking to Hannah Ferrier from Below Deck, you know, like the Chief Stew. Yeah. And she's Australian. And she, I basically was like, I want to go to like eat brekkie.

Yeah. That's what they call it. And she goes, wait, you're coming to Australia to eat breakfast? And I was like, you don't get, like, you guys have, like, the best avocado toast, the cutest, like, coffees. And she's like, yeah. You were, like, amongst other things. Amongst other things. She's like, you can eat breakfast anywhere. No, it just seems like, and then it's just like, like, I could watch people, like, run or whatever people do, like, with all their hot Australian bodies while I sit and bathe in the sun. And then there's, like, kangaroos running everywhere. And I really want an Australian accent. I feel like,

i'd be cooler with an australian accent one of my guy friends like moved back to australia like during the pandemic well first of all they're like all living their fucking lives in australia because they've been really safe just his instagram stories i'm just like this is it's paradise looks like paradise yeah like this looks like a made-up place who tricked us to think we need to live in new york city no i'm literally staring at a brick building that's like from the 1800s i don't even know

You know what I think it's time for? Front page fucking news. Okay. Bad Baby, the Catch Me Outside girl from Dr. Phil. Catch Me Outside, how about that? Danielle Bregoli. There's something about her name that she sounds like. Do you remember the show Recess when we were younger? Was there someone named Danielle Bregoli? I don't know.

do you know who i'm thinking but all i know is now i can't stop thinking about how much i loved recess in the morning recess was amazing remember the girl that wore like the green hat and she had pigtails and she was like a bully she was mean yeah that's who this girl reminds me of like her name is literally ashley spinelli yeah yep you were really close that was good that was really good

She posted a video on TikTok, which appears to be her revenue stream. And she from her OnlyFans, which she had started. And it was only six hours after she had started her OnlyFans. And she made a million dollars. And they said she's projected to make five million dollars in 24 hours.

Yeah, so Dez told me about this and he was just silent. And I was like, babe, if anything bad happens to us, at least I have a vagina. And he didn't really react. I think he was just like shocked. I just don't know what she's doing on it because she said, I don't have a big donkey booty for some reason. I don't like that term. Like every time I hear it, it freaks me out. Do you hear that a lot? Is that a common phrase used in conversation with your friends?

She goes, whenever people call me donkey booty, I just like, it's weird. I just don't like it. Like, I just, I don't know. You know, like there's some words that just like give you like the heebie-jeebies, whatever. She said, I don't have a big donkey booty. So don't expect that over here. I cannot supply that. If you have any complaints, call customer service. Here's the crazy thing, though, that people are really having a problem with. And I want to know if this was Des' problem, too. She just turned 18.

So people were like, if you're subscribing to this, I mean, she's legal, whatever. But if you're subscribing to this, like, ew, she's like literally a kid. Well, I was just thinking, what are her fans? Because at first it was just random people who thought it was hilarious that she went off on Dr. Phil.

But then I guess I'm going to tell you something. I think her song, I think her music's fucking slaps. I mean, shit is catching. Yeah. But also, isn't that donut women like that? Like she's like kind of like badass. And I just was like, is, is, does she have a lot of male followers? Yeah. She's a kid, but I don't, I don't. Yeah.

It's just weird. It's just weird. But the fact that she's 18 and breaking in like $5 million in 24 hours, like absolutely go off. Yeah. Like who are, who is anyone to be like, that's degrading. Like, I mean, people say we're degrading cause we're on reality TV. So it's like, I can't, you can't knock it. Someone literally was like, ew, so disgusting. DM'd me and was like, ew, so disgusting. How much of your ass was showing in your bathing suit? And I was just like,

It's literally the point of a bathing suit. I don't know. Someone said to me, ew, all you do is stir up drama and you're so emotional. And I go, wait, I'm on a reality TV show. What do you want me to do?

You want me to not react and be emotional and not... That's been some of my... I've been responding a few times and that's been my response. I'm like, wait, this is a TV show. Did you forget? What do they say when you say that? Nothing, because then I block them because I just want my... I want to have the last word. Yeah. I love that for you. Thank you. I think I have one more story. So Saweetie and...

Quavo were... Which I didn't even really know that they were dating, but whatever. They broke up and they'd confirmed their split on March 19th. And then TMZ put this video out. Have you seen it? No. It's of them in an elevator. Oh, no. Nothing good happens in the elevator. It's kind of crazy. So he is holding... You can tell what's going on in this video without hearing anything. He is holding a case, this orange briefcase-looking thing. It looks like...

Something like a seven-year-old would have for like his Tonka truck, you know, like it's just like it's like a case.

And they're getting in an elevator and she's trying to like swipe it away. And he basically like comes back and she like falls down on the ground and then like stays on the ground for the remainder of the elevator ride. And then when they get down to wherever they are, he gets out and like puts the case like in the elevator door. So it stays open and like waits for her to get up, like never goes over to her. It's not like he like punches her in the face and she falls, but like,

through like them struggling with this case, like she falls on the ground. She like definitely hurts herself because she like doesn't get up. And they're saying like this happened over a year ago, but it's just like being released. The case is a call of duty, like video game thing. So, you know, for a fact that she was like, you're not bringing this fucking game and playing this for hours. And he was probably like, shut the fuck up. Like I'm taking it. They literally were fighting over video games, which I don't have a boyfriend. Right.

I don't have one. So I don't, I don't know, but I see on TikTok, like it's some couples like biggest issue. Like the men are just playing video games. So during quarantine girls realized how much their dude loves playing video games all day. Yeah. And it's funny. Cause when I was talking to Jake from state farm, who is your friend right now? Yes. He had this whole joke where like,

You answer the phone with your headset on means you're like a badass because it's like you don't care what girls think. But if you take the headset off for a girl, it means you're simping for her. Wow. But like legit, like professional athletes, Andy Murray, who's a professional tennis player,

like almost had a breakup with his girlfriend because she said he played video games too much and it's a real fucking issue it's so crazy in like little split second moments you and that you don't realize tell you if you like a guy or not because there's guys that will facetime me and i'll have like no makeup on and pimple cream and i'll be like absolutely not answering but then there's other ones that i'm like i don't give a fuck what you think or

Or sometimes you like them to be like, this is me and I like this. Have you ever dated a guy who's super into video games? Yeah, I dated a comic once who liked to smoke weed and play video games. But yeah, it's kind of lame because I don't like video games. I think it's stupid. Why are we obsessed with this fake level that we got on? I don't think I've ever dated someone who...

where it infringed on our relationship and i was like oh video games again no it's the kind of thing where whenever they're free we're like normally you'd be like oh like let's chill on the couch just find something to watch they're just playing the game so like and they really are not they have their headset on so it's like you're not even there interesting but that also i'm not good at them so i don't like it yeah that's how i feel though sometimes when boys like watch sports but

But I don't hate it because I like to lay on the couch with them and be on my phone and like doing my own thing. So I'm like, I don't know. I remember once I like took a nap while he was playing video games and that was fun. Yeah. I can fall asleep through any buzzer beater game. Yeah.

The buzz just puts you right to sleep. But yeah, gigglers, DM us if you have any issues with... Yeah, I'd love to hear some video game stories. I want some video game nightmares. But a lot of the time, for guys, I think, especially if they have anxiety, it's a way to get out of real life and just be playing with your boys. But it is super addicting and could be not healthy for two people trying to get to know each other. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks...

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terms and conditions apply um side note did you get a dick pic oh my god hannah i wrote that in our notes i forgot about that dude listen to this fucking story you're gonna lose your mind i need to find out i need to find it immediately should we post it on the patreon dude oh my god listen to this conversation okay i get this on monday at 11 23 p.m okay

So glad we finally got to meet up this weekend. I had an amazing time. Here's something to remember me by. Insert dick pic. In my brain, I'm like, what the fuck? So I call one of my girlfriends and I go, hey.

At any moment this weekend, did I give anyone my number? Like, where were we? Who were we with? And like, I didn't drink that much. Like, I was like, I know. So this is your phone number, not a DM. This is my phone number, my cell phone number. And I'm like, there's no situation that this is whatever. I'm just like ignoring it.

So I don't respond. Tuesday, 205. Wow. No response, he said. And then I then I start to get in my head and I'm like, this is someone just like fucking with me.

And so I go, first of all, I don't know who this is. Second of all, this is fucking disgusting. He responds and goes, oh, my God, this isn't Katie? And I go, absolutely fuck off. And he goes, I'm so sorry. I'll delete this number. And then I just had a moment for the girls. So listen to this text that I sent back.

Word of advice, stop sending girls dick pics. We don't like it. We screenshot them and we send them to our group chats and we make fun of you. And the name dick pic guy, in quotes, is hard to erase from our memory. So please spare my girl Katie the trauma. Because like I immediately screenshotted it and sent it into my group chat and I was like, anyone recognize this one? Anyone know who this is? What did it look like and what was his like pose? Do you want to see it? Yeah. It's...

It's uncircumcised. Let's not, don't knock it. Wait, wait, go up higher. Wait. Literally this,

I can't. I shouldn't have showed that because I can't have someone. It's interesting because he went for no balls. This is my issue. It's called a DOC. It's a dick out of context. Like if you guys are like, like talking and, you know, sexting like that and like his hands in it, he's like, there's a difference to it. But when you just send a fucking random dick without even a ball. So there's no even it's just flying out in the sky.

It looks like a Q-tip. I mean, look, there's just in no circumstances. I could be texting you for three hours. I don't want you to send me a picture of your dick. I don't want it. Unless I specifically ask for it and I'd have to be under the influence of a lot of alcoholic beverages. Yeah. Do not send me one. And even if I do ask for it, don't send it. It's so interesting because it's true. I've never been like he had the most beautiful...

beautiful looking dick. I've had guys who I'm like, it's not bad. Like it actually like it's symmetrical. It's pretty smooth. I've had ones that definitely aren't good looking.

Even when I'm like actually having intercourse with someone, never does it run through my brain like, wow. How does his dick look? Yeah. I'm like, get it out of here. I don't like put it away. Well, it's so funny because not to get dark, but Des had testicular cancer and he

So they took one of his, they had to take one of his balls out and they asked him if he wanted a fake ball. Yeah. And he was like, for what? And they were like, oh, like aesthetics, like cosmetic surgery. And he goes, yeah, wait, so it looks better with two balls. Like, I'm pretty sure balls are just disgusting in general. And he was like, don't put a fake ball in me. He made some joke. He was like, when I die, my ashes are going to be thrown. And then suddenly you'll see a silicone ball like...

That's so interesting. So he has one ball and like, it's actually great. Yeah. I mean, it's less work for you. I don't like, I know you have to acknowledge them at some point, but like, I'm like, Oh, get out of here. I feel like your, your fingers are so long that you could like pop one accidentally. If you tried to play. There have been times where I've been like, my manicure right now is fucking on. I was about to say like, sometimes you have to get messy. You got to put fingers in weird places. Like,

Your manicure can't handle that shit. No.

No. Look, when I started doing my nails, I was like, no. I'm like, I'm not picking anything up and getting under there. Like, I just got this painted. Like, actually get out of here. So anyway, so that was my that was like my week this week. I got a dick pic unsolicited. And then I just gave this guy some peace of my mind. Guys, check out the merch. We are so blown away by the response to it. It's been amazing. We're working on some new stuff.

Follow us on Instagram. Keep watching Summer House. Listen to Burning in Hell chat room. Follow us being Burns, Paige Asorbo. Paige, what are you doing? Thanks for giggling with us. I was just admiring my gold straw again. I was just like, wait, she's so stunning. Thanks for giggling with us, guys. She's beautiful.