Giggling about Paige's birthday, manicure rules, and Erika Jayne
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I mean the day just got away from me. What is up Giggle Team? I love that you started because I feel like that's a lot of pressure and you do it so well. I don't know Giggle Team wasn't the best I've ever done. No it wasn't great. Also it's only episode three we're working it out. We always are matching how do we do this? I don't know it's because we literally only wear gray or black. Yeah.

Yeah. So we're both in white. Well, thank you guys so much for the love for the first two episodes. We are having the best time with this podcast and we have a fun, fun, fun episode today. And I love this podcast. Mainly because you're very biased. It was your birthday week, bitch. Oh, Scorpion Queen ass bitch. It was indeed my birthday weekend. Hold on. I have to switch my headphones because like, I don't know. Am I a human?

It's so funny because before this pod started, I was like, are all your orifice is okay? Is everything plugged into the right thing? And she's like, yeah. The second I start, she's like, wait. Okay, now you're going to strangle yourself with your headphones. I'm actually worried for you. This is literally why you have to get the...

like you need a shop on oh yeah that too but like if you're not subscribed to the patreon like you're not seeing that like i'm relatable and i have pimple cream on and not like i'm having like a whole situation so guys yeah for five dollars a month that's literally less than your fucking half calf or whatever caramel macchiato fucking sugar fucking crack fucking coffee thing you get in the morning that was aggressive less than your drug addiction okay

I'm like cursing a lot. That means I'm tired, but it's good because when we're tired, we get silly. So yeah, $5 a month, our Patreon. You can watch all of these. Plus, we're every month going to have like a party of a live Patreon just for our patrons where it will get giggly. Did you just hear my stomach? No, we did not hear your stomach. Your microphone's not near your stomach.

I'm going to put it there. Okay, this isn't that kind of podcast. Anyway, wait, Paige, what did you do to celebrate your birthday? Okay, so yesterday was my 28th birthday, and I was like so not in the birthday mood, obviously, like because like the election was overshadowing it. And I was like, can you guys figure it out? Because it's my fucking birthday. Okay.

I was like, are you kidding? I felt like weird posting and people were like, read the room. I was like, why don't you read the room? Happy birthday to me. Jessica wrote, read the room. Literally a Jessica was just like, read the room. I was like, sorry, I didn't know you got your political news from a fashion blogger. Fucking idiot. Anyway.

Wait, I love that you're like, I know that like the future of our nation stands in the counting of these ballots right now. Single-handedly the most important time of our history to date. And I was like, um, but I'm 28. So it's my half half birthday.

No, but it's funny because people got mad at me when I posted a ton of stories on my birthday. It's not a bad repost. Like it shows you with all your friends. Like I love looking at it. I don't like all the people that call you their best friend. I feel like best friend is thrown around like very loosely nowadays. That's why on my post.

Which I chose because I looked fucking amazing in it. You always look good, but like... Thank you. This was one that I really killed and I was saving it for this moment. And I tricked you, so it was kind of funny, but I literally was like, my best friend, not competing, not being competitive, but my best friend...

I don't know what y'all are saying out there, but she's my best friend. So like that's cute for you guys. And then like you posted a photo, but I was late to see it because I don't know what I was doing yesterday. And I saw that you like, what's it called? You what you pinned like Amanda's comment that was like, you look gorgeous. And then I wrote like, oh my God, you're fucking glowing. And I checked like two hours later and you didn't. And I didn't mind. Oh my God. But also it's because it was late and only had two likes. But like low key, I was like,

I think I also pin Sheena's because I'm like a thirst chaser. I was like, wow, I'm thirsty as fuck. No, we love Shishu. Also, Shishu's pregnant. I know. How crazy. Wait, I have to watch her vlog because it says that she's having a boy or a girl and haven't watched yet. It's funny, though, because she threw like this big baby party, but she looks not pregnant. Sheena's the most adorable pregnant person I've ever seen. I know. And Brock is just like...

Thor. Thor. If you were to make an action figure from Australia, that would be Brock. He looks like if Jason Momoa and Tarzan had a baby. I feel like it wouldn't be weird if Brock just walked around holding a hammer at all times. Does that make sense?

Actually, the few times I've hung out with him, his shirt's been off most of the time and no one complains. I mean, why would they? At all. So we love you, Shishu. Yeah, what did you do to celebrate? Okay, so I was working all day and then my parents came down to the city and we had lunch together. And then I had like a little birthday dinner with just my girlfriends. I was like, no boys allowed. We're just doing girls. And one of my friends who could not make it

Not you, Hannah, because you weren't invited. One of my friends who couldn't make it sent me two bottles of champagne with like sparklers and whatever. And I was like, oh my God, this is adorable. And then he sent me, everyone, a glass of milk. What? Yeah.

That's disgusting. And everyone was like, wait, what? What kind of milk? Oat milk? Whole milk? I think like skim milk. Like everyone got a glass of skim milk. And I was just like, what is going on? I thought they were like white Russians. And then him and like another one of my friends were together and they FaceTimed me and they were like, did you get the milk? And I was just like, what the fuck does this mean? I was like, are you guys high? Like, what's going on?

And they were like, we just wanted to send you milk because we wanted to remind you that, like, you're a baby. I love when it's, like, their inside joke that you don't know and they think it's hilarious. I was like, okay.

It was kind of funny. It was just like weird. I thought it was like some weird Upper East Side thing that like I didn't know about that like rich people are just like drinking champagne and milk. Yeah. I don't know. But like if you were eating really spicy food, you're supposed to drink milk after. Yeah. I don't know what it was. They thought they were hilarious. So like we'll just. We'll let them have that moment. We say the same thing all the time.

Have a moment. Let them have a moment. Have that moment for you. Laugh and then hang up and be like, throw that shit away. Also, at least give like a lactate pill because nowadays people are very sensitive to lactose. Everyone was like, I will shit myself. Everyone has a dairy intolerance. I was getting DMs because the gigglers get upset. They were like, why aren't you at Paige's dinner? I'm in West Hampton and I actually had to do work because...

The end of Watch What Happens Live, sometimes Bravo's chat room is right after, so they needed... They've picked everyone but me so far to, like, be the person that comes on at the very end to be like, hey, Andy. And he's like, hey, we're so excited for chat room. It's like, yep, coming up now. And then it goes to chat room. Got it. So we got a message on Tuesday being like, hey, you have to record this at, like...

At 5 p.m. I'm so starstruck by Andy. Yeah. Same. He is like the only person that I'm legit scared of. And during it, whenever I talk to him, I'm just like, I'm doing badly. This is bad. He's like very intimidating as a human. We've only ever I've only ever met him once. And I almost peed myself. Well, you met him during our reunion. Yeah.

Oh, okay. So I've met him twice. The first time, remember, we were at Watch What Happens and we were like shaking. We were shaking. He didn't know who we were because we were like the bartenders. They put us as the bartenders and Sheena and Kyle in like the main show. He was like, are you guys on a show? What show are you guys on? If you think about it now, like it's pretty funny. But we asked, we gave him a gift for his baby and you bought like $150 baby outfit. Yeah.

I have not seen that baby wear it once, but, like, I'm not going to... I did spend $75, and I was not making a lot at that time. I was a bartender. But he basically, like, had no idea who we were, and he was like, thanks. Like, who let these people in? Like, he almost called security on us. But, yeah, he was supposed to last night ask me, like, just say hi, and I say hi, and then he was going to ask me, like, a question about below deck and how Kate feels and then wrap it up. But instead he just was like, hey, like...

we're excited to hear you guys talk about Below Deck. And I was like, yeah. And then he was like, okay, guys, chat room starts now. But then it ended and then I was just, like, on screen with him. Yeah. And I'm so in love with him. Like, I think I have a crush on him. And he basically was like, yeah, chat room, I love it so much. And I was like, thanks. And then he, like, said one more thing. And then you know when you don't know when to stop talking. And I was like, and, you know, I'm –

I'll go fuck myself. Yeah. I hate that. I hate being in conversations when like,

It goes both ways, too, because I've been in conversations where someone's talking and I'm like, I don't give a shit. Yeah, we know. That's literally every time I talk to you. But then when you're the person and you have that self-awareness moment, you're like, this person doesn't care about me. Well, he said what he wanted to say. He wanted to let me know that he enjoys the show and I was so thankful. But then we were stuck still there and I wanted to not be awkward. But then I was like, oh, he'd rather...

this be over but no i think i'm just in my head like i think he does like me but i like this like game i'm playing with myself of like honestly i have daddy issues yeah let's just go to that it's all it's also works the same like when you have a crush on someone and you say just the most insane things and then in your head you're like do you have a brain like

One time I was talking to a guy. A long time ago. A long time ago I was talking to a guy. Like, this is a while. And I just started having a full-on conversation about how much I love gum. And I was just like,

I was like, can someone come get me? Because this is, he was like, yeah, no, gum is great. Apparently when I first meet a guy, I talk really fast and I'm just like a lot. I mean. And we just have to, you know, accept ourselves and love ourselves for who we are. We're obnoxious sons of bitches. So did you get any good gifts? I got a lot of flowers.

And I was like, cool. Wear like the hard goods. No, I got a lot of flowers from my friends, which were so was so nice. I felt like Kim Kardashian. Yeah. Yeah. My doormen were like, oh, my God, you're so popular. And I was like, this is from all of my family members. My brother actually, Gary got me this black fur like head thing. What?

Because like I love like a winter aesthetic. Yeah. It was like a headband. That's so glamorous. It literally looks like I'm a Russian spy and I love that. Also getting a fashionista a fashion gift is like a bold choice. So props to Gary for

understanding you and taking the risk and it paying off. Gary really crushed it. I mean, my mom picked it out for sure. Yeah. But the card said Gary. Did you? We'll give him that moment. You know when you ask your brother, like, what'd you get me or your dad? Like, what'd I get? And they're like, ask mom. Yeah. He's like, I don't know. The world would be nothing without moms. Thank you to all the moms out there. Literally nothing. And Kim, we love you. And sorry if you've listened to this podcast and been disappointed in us. Wait, did you get anything from me yet?

No, I didn't. Okay, well, that'll be coming. It's funny how you said milk because I remember in college my first birthday. That was the first time I was forced against my will to do a blowjob shot. I thought this was going to go in a different direction. I thought you were about to be like, and it was the first time I gave a blowjob and I was like, oh my God. It could have easily been. I was like, college, you loser. Yeah.

Sorry, mom. Do you know what a blowjob shot is? No, I don't think so. So basically, I like did my makeup. I was feeling myself and they get this big plate with a ton of whipped cream. Okay. And under the whipped cream is a shot of like vodka or something. You have to put your hands behind your back and with your mouth, you have to find the shot, put your lips and teeth around it and then like put your head back and take the shot.

so it is so fucking messy oh okay so the vodka is in a shot glass yeah sitting on a plate and then there's whipped cream all around it yeah and then and on top of it like you have to find it in the whipped cream so basically like they i was getting hazed on my birthday i also just hate birthdays in general now it's just about me and how i feel about birthdays but like i feel like i like giving credit where credit's due and like it's weird to wake up and everyone's like let's sell

Let's celebrate your life. And like, I know, I guess when I put it that way, you're like, I didn't ask to be here. I didn't want to come out of my mom's vagine. You're like, I'm not having a good time. Like, I don't want to pay taxes. It's probably I'm going to end up in jail one day with Paige just giggling alone. Because honestly, if the two of us were in jail together, it'd be let's not manifest this, but it'd be hilarious. It'd be hilarious for two minutes. We're very good at manifesting. So knock on wood.

It would be funny for like literally four seconds and then we would cry. But then I'd be like, weren't you? We could write a book after or like have at least one good Netflix documentary out of it. Yeah. Here's how I feel about birthdays because I was having a really tough time turning 28 and

and my friends who were older than me were like, you're ridiculous. This is insane. And I realized, like, I'm very excited to be 28. Obviously, we are very young. We're still in our 20s. It's not that I feel old. It's just as you get in your later 20s, you realize that it's going so quickly. But the worst part about birthdays...

is the 15 seconds that feel like 15 years when people are singing happy birthday to you and you don't know what to do with your hands you don't know what to do with your eyes you don't know if you should sing along you don't know if you should clap you don't you should look at the birthday cake

The singing of Happy Birthday to me is literally the most awkward moment of my life. No, it's the worst. And for us to say that, who like... Thrive in awkward moments. No, like if we don't get that tension at all times, we're like...

Yeah, what's going on? But then you're like number attention I wanted yeah That's like the number one time when all the attentions on you and you're just like I don't also this song is shit Like if it was a decent song, I'd be like bopping a little you know, you get a little bounce It's because everyone has their own way of singing it Yeah, if it's really no one is a high no Yeah, and they're all looking at you and and it's like the eye contact I fucking hate every moment about it and I'm gonna start a petition and

Recount the votes of who decided that happy birthday was a good thing to sing. Yeah, like what guy was just like, because you know it was a guy. What guy was just like, you know what? I'm going to make this super awkward for you. I'm going to write this song and we're going to sing it every single time you have a birthday. Yeah, what like meeting happened where the CEO was like, Steve, did you get the happy birthday song that we wanted to do? And Steve's like, fuck, I got drunk last night. Happy birthday to you.

It's like, it sounds like you're dying, Steve. And Steve's like, I'm very hungover. That's what life is. It's you slowly dying. Speaking of that, this is a rough week for everyone. And that's why I think the Giggly Squad is super important. And we're going to transition to a mental health moment. I love that. I actually posted one on Giggly Squad. Did you watch it? No, I don't think so. You were drunk, but... When? Yesterday? Yesterday.

It was on your birthday, yeah. Okay, then I am not liable. Yeah, you're not liable. Legally, I'm not involved. Basically, Elena, our intern, was like, Hannah, you need to post a mental health moment on Giggly Squad's Instagram. So I went on. I basically was like, we can't control the election results. We can only control our own emotions and ourselves. And anything that you try to control that you can't control causes anxiety. And as I'm saying this,

A fight breaks out behind me in New York City. Stop it. Hannah, stop. Two men are like full on New York yelling at each other like, bro, shut the fuck up, bro. And I'm just like, everyone stay calm. Everything is going to be okay regardless. Just control your own thoughts. And people are like, come at me, bro. I swear to fucking God. And I'm like, okay, I have to leave. And people are messaging me. They're like, get out of there. I wish you turned around and was like, I'm doing a fucking mental health moment. Can you stop?

It's my mental health moment. But anyway, the point of that is, is in chaos, you can find serenity. It's called the eye of the hurricane. And that's where we have to be right now. But Paige, I'm terrible at self-care. Like I'm not even trying to come on here and be like, guys, this is how you find serenity. Like I will be like either take a depression nap or just like be alone with your own thoughts and like overwork or distract yourself.

You are great at self-care. What are some of your weirdest ways of loving yourself and pampering yourself that people need to do? Okay, so...

I do looks for less because I want to splurge on skincare that like doesn't work. You know, like it might work. I don't know. But let's at least splurge on it to see. How do you know if it works? Like do you actually do it extensively for a couple weeks or do you do it twice and you're like that smelled good? Yeah.

Yeah, like you're usually with any skincare, you should give it time to like acclimate to your face and you should be doing it for like a couple weeks. Yeah. But if it's not, if I'm not 20 years younger after one day, I'm like, this product is shit. If I don't look like a baby. Yeah. If I'm not drinking milk out of a bottle. That just reminded me of Lala. Yeah, me too. Yeah.

People don't talk about that enough. No, they don't. They really don't talk about it enough. Lala literally said that she sucks milk from a bottle, like a nipple. And they just went on to the next storyline when it's like, we need to unpack that. Do you want to unpack something really quick? Yeah. Do you know that I had a bottle until I was in like third grade?

Would you like roll into school with it? No. Like at nighttime, I would beg my mom, like, please just give me a bottle. And she was like, I can't. You're seven. You can't. Like you wanted hot milk, but like. I didn't want hot milk. I would only drink super cold milk. Why didn't you just put it in a glass? I didn't want to. No.

Did it mess up your teeth? Like, did it make your no, no, it didn't mess up my teeth. I, there was just something soothing about it that I liked. So when Lala posted that, I was like, girl, let's normalize drinking a bottle as an adult. And that's probably why my friend sent me milk.

My mom was like, enough now. Like, it's done. You're never getting one again. And I was just like, why do you hate me? I do think that sometimes, like, it really just takes a parent just being like, you're being a fucking weirdo and you're going to get bullied. Also, I think that's why I love my water jug so much. Yeah, you love holding it. Yeah, I do. Okay, we're learning a lot about you. Okay, what other stuff do you do for your self-care? Okay, so...

I'm so easily influenced. I'm like literally an advertiser's dream. I'm just like, yes, that must work. My mom's like, what? You saw that as seen on TV. You were really into Jade Rollers. I'm super into Jade Rollers, but Kourtney Kardashian influenced me from Poosh, which I feel like Poosh is like the new goop. And it's just like, why do all of these things have to be like sounds when you're farting? This is like so weird.

Um, so there was like this shield, literally a full clear face mask. Yes. And it has all these like little lines in it. And each color is supposed to do something. It's like a light. Yeah. It looks like you're in Star Wars. It's like, like, it looks like Star Wars is having a pride festival. A thousand percent. Like Megatron. Yeah.

Like, I feel like I'm a transformer or something. So whatever. I bought that for $250. Did it help you? I mean, I've used it. I read like an article of a girl that did it for 30 days. Like every night did it for 30 days and her skin, like the picture, the before and after pictures were amazing. And I was like, oh my God, I'm doing that. And then I realized that like, I've never stuck with anything for 30 days. Well, you're obsessed with skincare, but my argument to you was always like,

I feel like you're fucking with your skin too much sometimes. I know. That's what my mom says. She's like, you put all this shit on your skin. And I'm like, I read that it worked. Lay off. Because I literally am like Cetaphil lotion. Like I don't do a toner. No, you literally wash your face with dirt and you glow. And I'm like, what is going on? I really enjoy that. I think it really helps my mood. And I don't want to be one of those people that's like... Yeah, what do you do? I don't know.

I don't want to be one of those people who's like, music is life and music is what inspires me and music is my purpose. Because I actually just listen to Top 40 and just listen to Nelly most of the time. I love Nelly. The Giggly Squad playlist, I just updated. This is a live announcement with Megan Thee Stallion, her...

her bitch song wait i want to be able to add things to that too i like went the other day to add things and like oh i have to like i have to give you access sorry bitch okay please do because i have so many good songs recently so we're updating it if you guys like just need a playlist to make you vibe and feel good music is life and it'll change your mindset it actually really is crazy that you can be in a certain mood and a song will come on and you're just like wait

Why do I want to throw myself off my building? I don't anymore. You're like, I'm that bitch. But also music can trigger you like nothing else. Yes. Like you hear a song and you're just like, I miss when I was little or like Steve was fun.

Or like, wow, I had a bad drug trip to that. I can't listen to Dave Matthews. I legit can't listen to Dave Matthews because the first time I smoked weed was at a Dave Matthews concert in Wisconsin. And you just lost your mind. I lost it. And then all the different instruments that were coming, I felt like they were attacking me.

And it was just a nightmare. So I don't fuck with Dave Matthews. Sorry. One of my friends can't listen to Goo Goo Dolls because she was at a concert and she almost died because she like drank so much at age 15. You know what? I respect that. It's called boundaries, people.

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That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash giggly. I don't know if you guys have noticed from my Instagram stories, but I've basically switched all my loungewear over to Skims. I was obviously obsessed with their bras and underwear, but now I really can't get enough of their soft lounge collection. I have their soft lounge tank with

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and really replaced everything with Skims because I know it's always going to look good, and I know it always feels amazing. And you know how much I love laying in bed, so if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan. Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com, now available in sizes XXS to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select Podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop-down menu.

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It's honestly one of my greatest achievements. Like, my dream, my dream is to give anyone a makeover. Like, if there's a movie and there's a makeover scene, that is my favorite scene. Clueless, the makeover scene, flawless. It is always the best scene. And you know what? Paige and I were trying to pitch a show where it was basically, like, Queer Eye, except...

we're not gay or i mean who knows in the future but me and you it's just me and you yeah and we basically give millennial women makeovers everything from like their dating profiles their dating life to like their apartment their fashion their skin then i was kind of going to be karamo where i'm just like i'm culture and i just make jokes in the background but i like hype them

up like and do mental health moments like that's what I want for us someone give us that show because if I can go in to a girl and just be like don't take any of this offensively I hate everything you're doing here we're changing your hair we're changing your makeup your wardrobe like I want to give someone a proper makeover so anyway

Over the summer, I've never not had nail polish on. Like I can't tell you the last time I went more than a day without having nail polish on. It just, it makes me anxious. So over the summer, I don't even know what happened. I think Hannah and I were laying in bed watching Love Island and I was just like,

Hey, this is going to sound crazy, but like, do you want to paint your nails? Like, I felt like I was bringing you into like a sex cult. Yeah. I was like, hey, you're going to really like it. Be like, people like it. Like, I know you've never done it, but like, just try it one time and see how you feel. And if you don't like it, you don't have to do it again. But like, I like it. So I feel like you would like it. Yeah.

Also, during quarantine, I was bored as fuck. I created a fucking monster. This bitch painted her nails. In the first 10 minutes, she was pointing in my face, yelling at me. Like...

i was like what are you nikki minaj like what happened from real housewives of new york you know her nails are always on point i was just enjoying because i talk with my hands anyway but seeing my nails while talking with my hands was like a magical there's a different high when you get your nails done and they're like the perfect length and someone tries to come at you you're like no no no bitch i just got my nails done and then when you're just playing with them together because the truth is i actually have

quite great nail beds. You do. I don't even know what a nail bed is, but it's very, they're hard. Like they don't crack and they grow really fast because I've never put nail polish on them because of tennis. Cause I love talking about tennis. Go Badgers. But I, um, my nails would get dirty if they were long, but anyway,

You taught me, but I didn't know like the couth. I didn't know the like ethics around it and the guidelines. No, there's a guideline. So basically, inevitably, one of my nails cracked and we were like all hanging out and I just realized, okay, since my nail broke, I have to cut it and I cut all my nails. Paige looks at me.

She goes, I remember exactly. You were sitting on the bed. I was sitting on the floor and I just saw you clipping all of them. It was like you had killed my first born child. I was like, no, she literally goes, Hannah, what are you doing? I go, I broke one of my nails. You go, you don't kill the whole fucking family. I go, there are ways to work around this. It wasn't even that bad of a break. You just have to file. You don't need to murder every member of the family. But,

But Paige, I don't know if it's OCD, but I don't want all my nails long and one short. I feel like that looks janky. I got it. So that happened to me the other day, and it was just the betrayal. And I kept it. I kept all of my nails long, and this one was super short. And I wanted that nail to realize that he had gone against his family. And look what he did to us. We are...

We are no longer presentable. No. So I was going to... We're not a happy family. No, we're not a happy family. So I was going to keep that one short and just like let it grow and then file the other ones down a little bit. And then another one broke on the same hand. And I was just like... He influenced. He had influenced. What did I do in a past life that God hates me to like do this right before my birthday? I was like, and now...

And now I have short nails for my 28th birthday. So I had to kill the whole family. Oh, my God. Because I had one hand that was short nails and my left hand was superb. I mean, they were flawless. And when I was cutting them. I feel so uneven if I had one hand long and one short. But when I was cutting them, I was like, I'm so sorry. You guys did so great out there. You crushed it. It's not your fault. This is your brother's. It's not your fault.

You did nothing to deserve this. So now they're all short. And I literally, I mean, they're still cute. Also, you basically gave me power, but with no rules. So like, how do you pick the shape? How do you pick the color? How do you upkeep? Do you pick gel? Do you match it with your outfits? Like, can you answer any of these questions for me? Because I'm a reckless bitch with my nails polished right now. Then Hannah started like,

upstaging me she was like oh you only did one color I did geometric shapes and I was like I'm actually quite artistic but Paige how do you pick round versus square I've always been square see I'm round why are you square yeah you're more like people yeah that's why I like also how when you know when you say what do you call it upkeep or like when you you fix it or you like fill it in you know when you're painting

Like you call it like I don't know When a little bit chips and then you fix it You just fix it I don't have a You were saying that like I was like fixing mine Okay so Hannah Oh my god I forgot you did this You Oh my god This was when I was like you're a monster Okay so you know when you paint your nails And like you like chip one of them whatever And it's like a small chip And you just kind of like dot in where that chip was And you just like kind of go over it And like fix it

Hannah's nails were full on chipping. Like half the nail polish was off the nail. And that's when you're like, okay, I'm taking all the nail polish off and we're redoing our nails. Hannah just kept painting over it. This bitch had four layers of nail polish and everything was like rigid and jaggedy because like some was filled in. Some was, I was like, what are you doing? I did this last week. I had this really pretty gold. It was pretty nude.

that was like it got down to just one little tiny piece on every nail and I wanted to paint red over it and I literally just painted red over it and then I looked at my nails and they all had this bump on them and I was like yeah you are a monster wait Hannah this is a really crazy this is crazy is this the first time you've ever had red nail polish on your nails

That you've done it yourself? Well, this is more like a maroon. But growing up, my Nana told me only get red nail polish.

Red is... First of all, I love red nails. Second, red is the worst to take off. Why? It looks like you're bleeding everywhere. Yeah, everywhere. And you're just like, cool. But yeah, my Nana told me just wear red nail polish all the time. That was her rule when you go. How do you pick your color? She's a fucking sexual being. Okay, so many people ask me this. I'm glad we're doing this on the pod. I can see us doing a Giggly Squad video.

nail polish like a shade for each season hannah hannah hannah hannah hannah hannah oh my god we need a nail polish line like three days ago okay so my perfect like pale pink nude is essie ballet slippers i have it on right now yeah it's my go-to kate middleton only allows this really oh my god

And then I will mix it up with like some gray tones. Sometimes I'll do like a deep green. But yeah,

Ballet slippers is my number one. And in the summer, I always do white. You do, which I was always afraid looked like white out. Like, you know, when you're a kid and you're just fucking around with white out. But now I feel like so many people are doing white on their nails and it's actually getting like a bad rep of like being trashy. And I'm like, oh, but I loved it so much. There's something about white toenails too. Also, here's another rule. If your nail polish on your toes is a different color than the nail polish on your nails, I don't trust you. And you are...

So me right now. Hannah, you must match at all times. What if you just get a pedicure and you got pink and then you're at home and you don't have that same pink? So you do a different color pink. Okay. If it's the same, like if it's a similar family, that's different. But you can have like red toes and then pink like.

What do you Valentine's Day? You guys, the rest of this podcast is just about nail polish. So if you want this, stay. We've spent a lot of time on this. We've spent a lot of time. Can we move on? I think it's time for front page news. And we've gotten some complaints that people are like, this podcast is amazing, except it's missing the typewriter sounds of page typing. So let's add that in. The most breaking story of our generation. Erica Jane Tom Girardi, 21 years, done. What do you think happened?

here's the thing i am so torn because i really love erica i love her so much and i was reading all these articles about it and she is the one that filed for divorce from him and she was like you know we didn't take this step lightly and all this stuff she's 49 he's 81 part of me is like oh she thought he was gonna die earlier they also they don't have a prenup

So interesting. So interesting. So that means they just like fight it out? Well, he's like a lawyer. So it's just like she was like, look, I didn't sign a prenup because even if I did, he's like a badass lawyer. He would get whatever he wanted anyway. Like it's going to go his way. We all know it. The thing for me is just like, yeah, he's 80. Like he's going to die soon. What?

Like, that's... I feel bad for him. Unless he was, like, doing some fucked up shit and, like, being mean to her. Because then another part of me felt like maybe because later in her life she's getting such fame and she's not just his wife anymore. She is Erika Jayne. She is on tour. She just was in Chicago. Like, she's on Housewives. You know, maybe he couldn't handle it because he was so used to her just being his wife. These Housewives shows...

Have so many divorces and breakups. And I think it's ironic that like these women all started as housewives and then they're not. It's like Vanderpump. You started as bartenders and now you're fucking not. So you don't it doesn't work in the bar anymore. Like you literally can't go to the bar. So it's like I'm going to say something controversial. If you're on a reality TV show and you are married and like you're following they're following your marriage. Not one not one couple stay together.

You can't you it's not sustainable. I feel like I mean, they're the only couple that's still together really realistically. I'm like, they probably have some shit that goes down is Kyle and Mauricio. Well, there's been a lot of rumors of cheating. We love them, but there's rumors of cheating. Also, Ken and Lisa.

Ken and Lisa, but now they're off of it. You know, like, I feel like if you're on reality TV and you're married, it is a hard journey. Well, what's hard, like, I'm doing chat room with Portia and Giselle, and, like, they talk about their relationships, and it's crazy. Like, they both are going through, like,

I guess Giselle had she divorced or like she just has separate and she's trying to rekindle Portia's you know in whatever is going on like it's just so not clean it gets fucking messy and we can sit here and say what we think it is but we don't inevitably know but it I feel like it had to be bad for her not to just wait it out like realistically Erica how much longer were you waiting

You know, I don't know. Also, he did. I also read a thing that like he refused to wear a wedding ring ever, which is so interesting to me because if my man said, no, I'm not wearing a wedding ring. First of all, there isn't even like a counter to that because obviously you want to wear your engagement ring. You want to wear that big fucking rock. So but I would have I think I would have a real problem with it.

Like, I feel like that's just a disrespectful move. Like, no, you're married. That's literally how our society tells people that to respect their family. But also he like said something. He was like, oh, a ring doesn't make people not cheat. Like if you want to cheat, you're going to do it. Well, why isn't he wearing the ring? He said it's uncomfortable.

Also, there is I feel like there are girls out there that see guys with wedding rings on and like that's more attractive to them. I mean, those people are insane. There's just something nice about that. And now I'm like turning into so traditional, but non traditionally, I think I should wear an engagement ring.

I think in the past it was because, like, girls didn't have money. And it was just, like, you were going from your dad to a man. No, engagement rings were completely made up by, like, Tiffany. Just to, like... It's, like, a propaganda thing. Like, engagement rings are not, like, a real thing. But, like, for real, I don't want to be walking around being taken and my man is still looking like he's not taken. No, we're both fucking engaged. Right. So you're going to wear... Or get a fucking tattoo, Tom. Get a tattoo. Oh, my God. Is that going to be more comfortable? It's not, like...

ideal you you look like you like own a fucking tattoo parlor like there's there's a no situation that my future husband is not wearing a wedding ring like hello you're fucking lucky also erica has been in like a bad mood like she was in that whole drama where she reposted someone's meme of that

that like one of these bravo meme accounts posted that was and they were like hey like can you credit us and she was basically like fuck you know and everyone was calling her the the petty mess i really think that that was just an age thing i really think that she didn't understand what was going on i do think she didn't understand but that's when you have to listen yeah but now we realize like now i get why she was in a bad mood she's probably in the middle of like

fighting with her husband? Her and her husband also. So she was a waitress and she knew him for a year because he would come in to where she was waitressing. And one day she gave him her number and said, did you hear I was single? And in six months they were engaged. Was this a strip club? It said serving cocktails. But I love that. My parents were engaged in five months. That is so crazy to me. My parents started dating when they were 17 and then they got married at 25.

And like it's just such a crazy concept to think that when you know, you know. When my parents got married, my mom met him at 24. I think it's just like some people you meet, the energy is so like, oh, I'm spending the rest of my life with you. Like, oh, we're starting a family together and you just like want to do it. Right. Because, you know, some people like you're like, let's see. He's in a fuckboy stage. Let's see if he gets out of it. Like, no, no, no. You'll meet some people when you're both in a vulnerable, ready place.

It just flies. So crazy. Because you know when you're like, you just need to wait a little until it's like appropriate. Right. Because you just, you really do know. Like, you know when people are like, how do you know if we're dating? No, it's a feeling. You're with someone. You ever meet someone and you're just like, yeah, we're boyfriend and girlfriend now. Really? I was talking to one of my guy friends about this. And like, men are such simple humans. Such simple creatures. We honestly. When men fall, they fall harder than girls. Oh my, oh.

Oh my god. A thousand percent. They are such emotional little babies. That's why guys are fuckboys for like 20 years because some girl like didn't respond to the note of do you like me in third grade. This is like a little dating tip. Guys are such simple humans. We give them way too much credit. They literally have pea brains and

If a guy likes you, you know, like he's texting you. He wants to hang out. If he's not texting you, he doesn't like you. And like the sooner more girls realize that, the better off they'll be. Like don't text him. And like you can't love someone who isn't texting you back. This is a great story. One of my guy friends was telling me the other day that he was at a dinner and a girl was texting him from across the table.

And he was not into it, but he was like, I can't not respond because she's across the table from me and she sees me on the phone.

And he was like, it was so awkward. She like definitely wanted to go home with me. And I just like I wasn't trying to do that. So he literally got up from the dinner early and left because he didn't want to be in an awkward situation at the end of the dinner where this girl was like going to try and go home with him. And I was just like, oh, my God, like this poor girl. But like, don't you?

And I know you are all for like, you can make the first move if you want your girl, like, you know? Yeah. And you can. But like, if they're not reciprocating, you have to get out. Like, you can't. You got to go. Yeah. Nothing should feel forced. And you shouldn't have to feel like you have to trick someone to like you ever. Right. What's next in front page news? I love that we veered off. So Brian Austin Green. Oh, my God. Dude, how crazy is this?

Posted an Instagram. Is a hoe. Posted an Instagram of his four-year-old son with Megan Fox. The son's name is Journey. Yeah, I don't love that. I don't love. It reminds me of, isn't that a store? Journey. Yeah. You get like Doc Martens there. Yeah, like at a mall. It's also like what we're doing with the Giggly Squad. We're just going on a journey. That's what I like. Okay, so he posted a photo with a four-year-old son and Megan was just like, ugh.

She had had it. She had posted, she commented like, stop trying to make it seem like I'm an absent mother. Like we had a deal that we weren't, weren't putting our kids on social media, which is another topic I'd like to speak about with you. She posted that on Instagram. Yes. Yes. Like she said, why does journey have to be in this picture? You could have cropped him out. Like you're doing this on purpose. I had Halloween with them yesterday. Like I didn't post on my social media. So that's not even the craziest part.

Brian Austin Green's other exes then started coming and defending Megan Fox. Wait, so what was the photo? He posted a photo of the kid. He posted a photo of him and his son. And I think they were both in like Halloween costumes. Oh, so Megan was not in the photo. No. So one of his exes who he also has a son with he this woman named Vanessa who share they share an 18 year old son together posted

And this was like a subtweet kind of. It said, like I said, dot, dot, dot, the truth always comes out in the end. And then she added hashtag I'm with you, sister. On her own page? Mm-hmm. Then... Oh, this makes me so happy. Then...

In comes Courtney Stodden. Fucking love when she comes in. Courtney fucking Stodden is messy, but she speaks the truth. She was the one who posted a photo. I mean, the video of them in a hot tub. Remember we were obsessed with her over the summer? Well, I was obsessed with her in that reality TV show. Do you remember? Couples Therapy. Yes, when she was married to that old guy. Doug. So creepy. He freaked me out. Okay, this is another thing. You know when you're little and like,

You don't know what the feeling is of like an older guy creeping you out because like you don't know what that is yet. But you meet someone you're like, I this is an uneasy feeling. Yeah. Well, it's like kids and dogs. You know, when they just don't like certain people. Yeah. Like says something about the when I first saw him on television. I like immediately was like, oh, he be jeebies. Oh, no.

No, no, no, no. Yeah, heebie-jeebies. I was like, I don't like him. He freaks me out. Anyway, so Courtney Stodden also weighed in on social media and said, I'm so proud of Megan for speaking up about the way Brian seems to use his kids as a flex. During the time I spent with him, like his kids were never over at the house. They were always with Megan. She wasn't an absent mother. And yet, like she says, she doesn't plaster them all over her social media.

And she also said that he would use his kids as an excuse on why they couldn't hang out. And she later found out it was really just because he was hanging out with other girls. And I think when she posted that photo or video of them in the hot tub, which I love hot tubs. It looks so much fun. The moment other girls you like wanted to go hang with them. Yeah. Did it. But didn't he message her saying something?

I think it was in the caption. He basically said to her, like, how could you do that? Like trying to gaslight her to make her feel bad for posting that photo. But really, it's because he lost. Other people got mad at him. Other girls. A thousand percent. Megan Fox, the fact that she spent so much time with this guy, like it just makes me realize, like, you guys, if you feel stuck and you feel stressed or anxious and you're just constantly complaining or worrying about something.

Change. Get out. I'm so happy for her that she got out. A thousand percent. A thousand percent. She's also one of the most beautiful women in the world. Are you talking about Megan Fox? I thought you were talking about Courtney Stodden for a second. I was like, I mean, I wouldn't say the world. I thought you just forgot to argue if Megan Fox was like the most beautiful woman in the world. No, Megan Fox is like a thousand percent the most beautiful woman in the world. She also, she said she's a psychic.

Like, she's, like, really into astrology and shit. Like, I love that for her. I'm not a huge, like, Machine Gun Kelly aesthetically fan. Like, I can't have my man be skinnier than me. Skinnier than you. Yeah. Like, I just, I can't. But his voice is kind of hot. Yeah, it is. And he definitely has swag. Like, I get it. No, I get it. If you're into that, like, tattooed, like, rock star look, then, yeah, I totally get it. My mom would be like, are you okay? Yeah.

What's next? Imagine a machine gun, Kelly. I always try and picture people like him just working a finance job. Or just being like, your parents being like, hi, machine gun? Should we call you machine or gun? Mr. Kelly? MGK? Mr. Kelly? Do you have our taxes ready, actually? Could you imagine? Okay. And then my last story, which...

I mean, there was like nothing else really like that great. But Lamar Odom and his fiance, her name's Sabrina Parr, have ended their, I just thought this was like funny, ended their engagement. And she posted on Instagram and was just like, you know, I just want to be transparent with everyone. Me and Lamar aren't engaged anymore. This was the best for me and my children. And he just has like issues that he needs to work on by himself.

uh yeah no shit he overdosed and almost died he's a drug addict like of course question this is more general because i don't know the details of like what lamar is going through but would you rather be with a guy who's overcoming addiction or a guy who cheated on you because the cheating is like a full like break of trust where the addiction is like his own issues

Where, I mean, they're both the guy's issues. That's so hard. It's really hard. But then also, if he can't get out of the addiction, like, he's dating the addiction. It's almost like he's cheating on you with the drugs. You guys, this just got dark. No, that just got so real. To be honest, I'd rather be with a guy who's addicted to something than a guy who cheated on me. I was going to say the same thing. Because, like, we can work on that, and at least I still feel like the number one woman in your life. Right. Like, I'm just...

Hannah we pick this. Snort the crack off my pussy. We pick this because we're such narcissists. We're like I don't want another bitch in there. Yeah you might overdose and die but like no way do I want another bitch around. I date tons of addicts and they're actually like first of all still great people. What a line. What a line. No pun intended. No I literally date addicts because. Paige would they get addicted to you? Oh wow. It is the the high and like the trust and the

But also I, I date, I've dated a lot of addicts who are sober now and obviously it's scary to be like, Oh, can they relapse? But I also, everyone has addictive qualities. They just like, we're letting their pain out through addiction. But something about guys cheating is just, um, yeah, like I don't think I could ever, I don't think I would. If my husband cheated on me, I don't think I would ever get over it.

I just, I really don't. Nowadays, people are more open with their sexuality of being like, oh, I like to watch my man have sex with another woman or like I like to bring someone in or we like to have open moments and like, I mean, cross that bridge when you get there. But I don't see that for me. You know, I don't see that for me. I don't see. I don't see my husband being like, hey, let's bring in a blonde with huge boobs. I'd be like, get out. Like, leave.

I once had an ex-boyfriend. This is a while ago. This was like a couple of boyfriends ago. That's how I tell time. How many boyfriends ago is this? Who described me after we broke up as heroin. And I've never been more flattered in my life because I realized it's, oh my God, I'm obsessed with you. If I don't have you, I'll die. Yeah.

And it's so good when I get you, but you may also kill me. And I was just like, thank you so much. And that is why you are our Giggler Scorpio queen. And I was like, I fuck with that. And then I was like, stop texting me. I'm obsessed with that for you. There are 365 days a year, which means there are 365 days where you might need to buy someone a birthday present. I absolutely love giving the perfect gift to the perfect person.

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So we're going to wrap it up with what we're binging right now, because, you know, we need some distractions from the election and all the bullshit and the world burning down. You were very excited to talk about Potomac. Because I have I have something to say.

And I don't want this to be controversial and I don't want people coming at me because I fucking love Potomac. I think they're the unsung hero of Housewives. I think they people sleep on Potomac. They have had more drama in three episodes than some franchises have all season. Correct. Agreed. Like

Things are moving and things are happening. And like the kind of drama that's like men are cheating. Women are getting physical with each other. Taxes are being not paid. I mean, there's couples therapy happening. It's just it's crazy. But this is what I want to say. The fashion on Potomac is something to be desired. It is wild out there.

Their interview looks, sometimes I'm like, what in actual fuck are they wearing? Wait, what looks are you specifically thinking about?

I don't want to. It's not even specific. Karen went after Giselle being like Giselle's fashion choices are bad. I mean, they're in the DC area. The pot calling the kettle black. I mean, that is, Karen's fashion choices are wild sometimes. Sometimes Karen does dress really well in her interviews. There have been a few times where I've seen her wear something and I'm like, that looks good. But then she'll come out with something and I'm like, who put that together for you? You should fire them.

Well, I do think Monique has one look that is so stunning where her hair is like wavy and she has her boobs look good. And it's like it looks like a scarf she almost put on. Ashley Darby is also an interesting character when it comes to fashion. They all they all have like sometimes when they're all in scenes together, it's an overload. I'm like, where'd you even buy that? Yeah.

Well, it's funny because I feel like Atlanta, there's like a style and you get it. And like Beverly Hills, a style, you get it. New York, leather jacket, jeans, we get it. Potomac hasn't found their fashion style yet. That's so true because like the New York women all dress similar. They're always in all black. They're in like leather. Like it's a thing. And then when they're in the Hamptons, they're in like flowy dresses. Beverly Hills is very over the top. OC is another one. Sometimes they wear things and I'm like, what in the heck?

So OC right now is Bronwyn crying, Gina just being like, why is everyone mad at me? Why are you talking shit about my house? Wow, you just did her voice perfectly. Why is everyone talking shit about my house? I just want to have tequilas. Who are your favorites on it? Dude, I don't really fuck with OC like that. I watch it all, but I think they all scare me. I think I like Gina the most, but...

I don't understand how you could have a whole storyline being about something that happened off camera. She said he should. She should. She should. And the Bronwyn thing...

it's the brahman thing i feel really bad well you want to feel bad but then while she's doing that she's also just like yeah gina your house is sad and you're like wait i want to feel bad for you and you're making it hard for me i'm like you're going through some shit but also like you can't yell at like you can't do that also everyone was calling her husband gay and then she came out recently being like no i'm the gay one brahman came out as gay that she's bi or she's been having trouble with her sexuality

I miss that. Yeah, OC also always has some shit that's going down, which is crazy. And then who's the other one? Kelly Dodd. She scares the shit out of me. Like if there's one person on Bravo that I would not want to be on their bad side, it's Kelly Dodd. Ooh, let me think of who mine is. It's Kelly Dodd or it's Lala. Ooh. You know? Also, Keechustain. I'm not...

Like, I love Kate Justine, but I'm telling you, if she was bossing me around on a boat, I'd be like, I just am going to get an anchor and jump off. She doesn't scare me that much. Like, I almost feel like I would get along with her. I feel like she's very sarcastic. Yes. But yeah, like, if she doesn't like you, I feel like it's very apparent. Like, Dodd has a sense of humor.

Yeah, but ever since I watched one episode where she was like laughing at her daughter, like be performing in like musical theater. I never thought about her the same. And I've said this multiple times. And this was years ago. And I can't really disturbed you. No, it really disturbed me. Also, Shane, we forgot to talk about Shane is the husband of Gina. No, Shane is the husband of. No, sorry. Who? What is her name? Oh, my God.

Oh my god, wait. This is when we need the gigglers. This is when the gigglers should say it immediately. Wait, I feel... Emily, Emily, Emily. Emily. Emily. So Emily and Shane, but like, I feel like Shane had a rough season, so now they're like, just sit on the bench for a second. Yeah, take a lap. I like Emily. Yeah. Shane got shit on last summer. I mean, last year. Whenever the husbands get involved in any housewife situation, it's never good because like...

Grown men fighting with your wife's friends, you can't. Also, every franchise needs one hot husband, at least. I feel like OC doesn't have one. So Gina's ex, who apparently is a monster, was gorgeous. Wow. That's why he was a monster. Monster. No one talks about Dallas Housewives' D'Andra's husband enough. And I want to bring that into the atmosphere. Is he the one who has one eye? Yeah.

What? No. That's the crazy one. D'Andrea is like her friend. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was thinking of Leanne. Yeah. I like the one-eyed guy. Honestly, that's so on brand for me.

this man is so good looking and no one talks about it i don't think he works i don't think he has a job yeah that's the thing with him she's like she's supporting him yeah potomac it's juan he's oh my god juan is so hot no juan is amazing and then also you know who's actually low-key hot i think vicky's new man is hot yes he is

He's hot. He's so hot. He's so nice. And I'm kind of like, I think they unfollowed each other on Instagram. Oh, wait, Vicky's new man is hot. But also who's Shannon's new man is hot.

Yeah, I agree. And you have to have one. I guess. Oh, I mean, I guess Beverly Hills. It's Mauricio. No, Harry Hamlin is also very hot. I don't find him hot. I find him. Interesting. Yeah. You find him mousy. I feel like he's tall, though. I feel like he's skinny. I feel like him. And yeah, we like a dad bod. Yeah. I want like thick. I love a dad bod. Like guys get so paranoid when they like gain a little weight around the stomach. And I'm like, no, this is like, I don't care.

You're only making me look hotter. Like you're only helping me. Thank you. Finally, we're going to speak about The Queen's Gambit. Yeah, The Queen's Gambit. I'm going to say a hot take. Do it. That shit should have been an hour 40 movie.

Hundo P. Someone had to say it. I said it. Someone had to say it. I fucking said it. I like it. I really enjoy it. And I'm going to finish the season. And I think it's really good. If this was like an extended movie, they would have nailed it. Not even. A short movie. Okay. It was like... It was...

Four episodes too long where at some point you're like, okay, you're just filling in space because I think they just make more money with it. But like the aesthetics are beautiful. Yeah. We love the acting of her outfits. The acting is so good. I love the wardrobe. But at some point you're like, we get it. You like to drink. Right. It is long. It's very drawn out. I'm only on episode four. Do sleeping pills or whatever she was taking. Tranquilizers. Tranquilizers really make you like.

and better at chess? I don't know. I didn't love that part. I mean, it was just like an interesting add-on of like how she could like get in so in her head. I also was on the chess team. So I was like, you were on the chess team. Yeah. When I was little, my dad taught me like three moves of how to like beat people really fast.

But then if like they blocked those moves, I didn't know what to do. But like I won a couple matches. I honestly am very impressed that you know how to play chess. And I think that is so worldly and cultured of you. Oh my God. It's literally just because we had a chess. Someone gave us a chess, whatever it's called. I don't even know what it's called. I would love to know that. But the fact that you were on the chess team makes me question everything. I was literally nine. That's before you can make choices. I was like nine and ten. That's true. Because if you did that in high school, it's just automatic social suicide.

Honey, I was playing on the boys' tennis team. I was... You were cool. I mean... You were that bitch in high school. I mean, I was cool, like, when I was on tennis court, and then I was crying. You guys...

This was an amazing episode. We didn't get to our advice this time, but next time we will get to our advice. We have some really good questions. And we're just obsessed with you guys. Rate, subscribe, review. We're currently number two on TV and film. And like, we don't love that for us because you can't live your life. Number two, not number one and leave reviews. I know some of you guys are like, Oh my God, we want you to tell us more information. It'll come when it's going to come. We don't want your trouble. And yeah,

Yeah, sign up for the Patreon. And I have a Friendsgiving event on the 18th. Oh, yeah. Link in my bio. I have a fashion article coming out. So when this comes out, it will be out. It is on In The Know. And it's coats under $100. And we love that. Hell, yeah. And follow us on Instagram at page period to Sorbo at being Burns. And join our Facebook group. Listen to our Spotify. Just join the community because it's I mean, actually, it's kind of scary.

We've created a cult. We don't know what happened. And we've lost control. However, oh, and also we're thinking of changing the Giggler emoji to the nails. If you are opposed to it, don't do it. If you love it, start doing it. At the end of the day, it's the Gigglers who decide. So like we can't tell you. We can't manage you. All right. This is amazing. This was so much fun. I love you so much. And we'll talk to you guys next week. Thanks for giggling with us. Bye.