Giggling about partying in LA, read receipts, and love languages
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What is up, my jigglies? My jigglers. I like that one. I think someone called us that, and I was like, are you calling me fat? We've had a wild weekend. No, we really have. And by we, I mean you. I'm like, wait, I didn't do shit. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. Let me tell you something about LA. I don't like it. They love hiking.

They love oat milk. It's just like so cliche of me to say, but you can't go anywhere. Like, okay.

I mean, I can't. I can't drive. No, you could. No, you could never live there. Bitches sitting on the sidewalk and waiting. It's so big that if you live in one part of town, you could never date someone in another town. Like if you lived in Santa Monica, you could never date someone who lived in Malibu. You're basically doing long distance. We were almost late to our fucking show because it was...

Took an hour to go three blocks. It's just the craziest thing to me. And like, here's the other thing. In New York City, if the light turns green and people don't go in two seconds, it's like horn, horn, horn. You're going to yell that. No one honks their horn there. They're all high. Yeah. I think they are. I think they're just all high. So you went to the Sports Illustrated Parade. Yes.

Oh my God. Can you give us a day in the life of what it's like to go to the Sports Illustrated party? I literally got nervous because I was like, oh my God, what if my husband's here? And like, what am I going to say to crack? I'm like, what if like a six, five amazing athlete just walks up to me and it's like, you're the love of my life. Like, how am I going to break it to crack?

So tell me about the party. So it was actually so much fun. I loved my outfit. That's why I had a good time. What was your aesthetic? My aesthetic was like I didn't want to be trying too hard. Oh, my God. So my aesthetic was like I don't want to try too hard, but like I want to have a cool outfit. So Craig and I are about to do the step and repeat. And I am like feeling myself. I'm like doing the pictures all of the sudden.

every single sports, it was like a gaggle of sports illustrated models were like right behind me on the carpet and they were posing. And so I literally ran off. It's like,

This is not good for my mental health. I can't watch you guys take your pictures. Well, I forgot. I thought for Sports Illustrated, I was like, oh, like all the athletes. But it's like also for all the bikini models. Yeah, it was. Oh, my God. OK, so then I have a really embarrassing story. So one of my girlfriends is a stylist. So every now and then I will call her and be like, hey, I needed like an outfit for this event. Can you help me? Like, this is my vibe.

So I go to her apartment the other day to pick up an outfit.

And she's like, oh, you can meet Camille. And like in my head, I think like, oh, she's like one of her friends, whatever. So like I walk in grammar. So I walk in, there's like the stunning blonde standing there. And she's just like, she's like, oh, Camille's going to the Sports Illustrated party. So like, you'll know someone there. And I was like, oh, my God, that's so fun. Like, have you ever been before? And this girl was so nice. She was like, yeah, like I've been like a couple times. And I was like,

oh, is it outside? And she's like, yeah, sometimes it's outside. Like, I think it is like this year. And I was like, okay, great. Camille leaves. You had no idea who she was? No idea. I know who it is already. So Camille leaves, the lovely woman that she is. And my friend looks at me and she goes, I don't know, maybe the number one Sports Illustrated model in history who's also dating Rob Gronkowski. And you asked if she's ever been to the Sports Illustrated party. I was so mortified.

I was like, oh my God, do you think she thought I was being a bitch and like purposely not recognizing her? But I legitimately like was not thinking. It was LA fog. Yeah, I just like... There's a lot of blondes. You got confused. I wasn't thinking. So now she probably hates me. I heard she's also like funny. She's silly. Like she has a good personality. She was... I mean, she was so nice, so cute. And like, I mean, couldn't have been nicer, but I was just like...

Oh my God. Have you ever, like what is Sports Illustrated? Do you know what it is? I want to know celebrity sightings. Did you have any other interactions? Give us the tea. Who was like a bitch to the waitress? What's going on? I actually didn't have any other. You were like after the photo shoot at the Step and Repeat, I went under the table and I sat there and said, find a happy place, find a happy place. Craig and I went to our table. Yeah.

No, we didn't black out. We were actually the perfect amount of drunk, which I love those nights. I love that for you. Craig talked to Rufus DeSole for a while, so he was really pumped about that. But Jack Harlow came on because he was performing. Oh, did you? And you knew? I actually didn't know he was performing. Did you pee yourself? When I tell you, my whole body changed. Does Craig know about your thing with him? He sure does now. He sure does now.

He goes, because his song started playing and I like look over to the stage and I'm like, maybe they're just like playing his music because it's phenomenal. And then all of a sudden the screen of his name comes up. And when I tell you that my energy shifted, I forgot Craig was even there. You started to get shy. All of my attention went to the stage. I sang every word to the point that Craig was like, this guy? And I was like,

don't you even then we get back to the hotel and i'm like oh my god i can't believe we saw jack carlo like he's so amazing like and i'm just gushing and craig like in typical guy fashion he was like yeah um no like he definitely has swag but like didn't seem like he could really like hold the crowd's attention so like just for that like i'm and i go are you are you kidding me are you kidding me

So we got into a fight about Jack Harlow. He's like, that's who you want to date, Jack Harlow? I go, if he wanted to, yeah.

That is so funny. Because it's also funny when dudes are like trying to understand if guys are hot or not when they're straight. And like their brain starts to malfunction. They're like, wait, he's good looking. What's good looking? Because I thought that was good looking. Jack was wearing like a varsity jacket. Craig was like, I mean, I wore that jacket last time we were in L.A. So like I like dress like him too. And I was like, no, you don't.

I said, no, you don't. He's like, is that the hill you're going to die on, Jack Harlow? And you're like, abso-fucking-lutely. This is a great segue into the NFL Super Bowl performance. I mean. And I'm not trying to say, like, white rappers need to compete against each other, but Jack Harlow needs to sit down when it comes to Marshall Mathers. I love when you use government names. Yeah.

I mean, Jack Carlow, we love what he's done. No, we love you. It's adorable. But when Eminem went on stage, I'd have sex with him in front of Craig. That's where I'm at. I really hope Craig doesn't list this podcast. What the fuck is going on? When he started playing Lose Yourself, I swear to God, I cried. I cried. And I wasn't even PMSing like real tears. You want to know what the saddest part about PMSing?

that entire halftime performance is, I was with Craig and I was with my friend Stephanie. You met Stephanie, my friend from high school who lives in LA. And the whole time we're watching it, we're just like, this is what the Super Bowl should be every year. They should only have legends only. It should just be these people. And then we were like, wait, a couple years ago when they had like,

Who's like someone that like our parents. Adam Levine. No, like not even. Like when they had like. Bruno Mars. No, like someone older. Oh, yeah.

Oh, like Elton John? Yeah, something like that. Or like, I can't even think, but whatever. Like our parents were probably like, oh, this should only ever be. Oh, like Bon Jovi? Yeah, like it should only ever be that. And then I felt like so old. No, it was a moment where I was like, some people are not appreciating this because they are young and they have better skin than us and they still shit on a normal cycle. And I kind of loved that Kanye was there and like watching this.

Oh, gigglers, we will get into that. But I have one thing to say. Stop shaming 50 Cent's body. Leave 50 Cent alone. If I was 50 Cent, I would be eating well, too. Like, why would I not? Also, people are like, what is it, 400 cents? I'm like, guys. It's a whole dollar.

leave the guy also maybe his face was just bloated because he was upside down waiting for like an hour wait what was the upside down thing I didn't get it it was I think in his in his music video back in the day he was like doing curls upside down so he was like recreating it but um I love 50 cent I love 50 cent also I love him at any weight and I love that he's kind of a bravo liberty with the fofty thing fofty

I mean, he's the best thing that has come out of Vanderpump Rules in the last two years, three years for sure. Maybe that in the nicest way. The nicest way. No, I love him. I thought the entire performance was just also like the set in which they performed. Mary J. Blige's outfit. Oh my God. I know why you like the set.

Because it was like a Barbie dollhouse for rappers. No, literally, I said that. I was like, it's like a fun, like, playhouse. Yeah. And we love Mary J. Blige. And we have a dope documentary of Mary J. Blige. I forget where it's on. Maybe Prime. You guys have to watch it. She crushed it. She crushed it. You can't pass out after a performance unless you fucking crush it. I loved that.

We're great. Who else? Who else? I mean, Dr. Dre. I mean. Snoop Dogg. The swag. Also, how has Snoop Dogg been the same age since we were little to now? Like, he looks the exact same. Like, he's always been this age, and I feel like it's like he's always been in his 50s. I wanted it to keep going. I want them to, like, all go on a tour together. Okay, let's talk about Kanye. We have to. Where were you when Kanye went off this weekend? Oh.

Because I was on my couch and I was... What is going on? I was taking it all in. It is literally... Someone made a meme of like the scene in Mean Girls when she just starts screaming. And he's talking shit about Kid Cudi. He's talking shit about Pete. He's talking kind of shit about Kim. And he's going off on everyone. He's cutting friends out. He's protecting his family. He's cutting more friends out. He's spreading gossip. And you want to know what's new?

I love that he apologized for the caps lock. He goes, I love that. That's what he took from people. He was like, I see what I've done wrong. The caps lock. I get it.

Because you guys think I'm yelling at you. And we're like, you are yelling at us. You're 100% yelling. You ever get really, really mad and you write like the craziest text message or you're like, you have the craziest insane shower fight and then you don't do anything. And then like an hour later, you're like, oh my God, thank God I didn't text that to that person. Like, oh my God. Like, thank God I chilled out. He doesn't have those moments.

Well, it's at a point where I'm like, I don't think I should be reading this. Like, I feel like it's so intimate of their family. It's so intimate. I actually feel really bad for their kids. Yeah.

Because one day they're going to be like 16 years old and like be looking up shit and be like, what is going on? Also, she's been with this guy forever. And I wonder for a long time. And I wonder how many times this has happened behind closed doors and how they manage. Like this can't be like a new thing from him. Right. I also think that like.

Wait, the one thing I did think at one point during the Super Bowl halftime that Martha Stewart was just going to make a cameo. Martha Stewart and Guy Fieri were hanging out and I was like, can they perform?

A guy just like stuff his face with something that Martha made. I saw him at the Sports Illustrated party and I'm like... No, you didn't. Yes. Okay, now that... Fuck Giancarlo. I want some Guy Fieri. He came on the stage like as Kygo was like finishing his performance and I literally texted my mom and was like, you're really missing out on a great night. Guy Fieri is just a guy from the Food Network that has become a...

a universal icon for happiness, joy, and excitement. I mean, the man gets paid to travel the country and just eat. And help small businesses. Like, that's, I mean. I feel like he probably manifested that. He was like an eight-year-old kid, and he was like, I just want to eat. That's what I want to do. His mom's like, you can't make a career of it. And he's like, watch me. I feel like he, did you ever watch Emeril as a child? Hannah? Hannah.

Was that like a Italian family thing? When I tell you you're in my fucking brain, when Craig and I got home from the Sports Illustrated party, it was like 2 a.m. or something. We're laying in bed and we like turn on the TV and there is an infomercial of Emeril Lagasse. When I tell you we had a 15 minute conversation about him and I was like, oh, my God, you never see him anymore. And I was like, Emeril Lagasse raised me.

I'm so happy he's still out here hustling In these streets He has a whole Like cooking Like pans and pots And he does a full infomercial You know how like He literally had one punchline And that was bam And you would just watch Like knowing it was gonna come And then when it happened You're like oh thank god We went as far as to be like That was the joke I needed tonight We went as far as to be like How old do you think he is And then like we guessed And then we googled it He's a lot younger than you'd think I think he's like early 50s I went late 50s

Wow. He doesn't look that great, but if all you eat is prosciutto for 20 years, like, yeah. You become a piece of prosciutto. I also was really bored on Sunday and decided to do a full impression of Julia Fox. I saw it, and I loved it. And I'm just wondering how you felt. I like to think about the small things. Like, when you were doing your eye makeup, where you're just like, this is...

This is me now.

This is who I am. Great question. So I realized my skin tone kind of looks like hers early on. And I was like, I probably could look like her if I wanted to. Just kept that in the back of my brain. You got it. You have to be her for Halloween. Now I fucking have to. You have to. But I feel like everyone is, but I'll try to do it well. No, because you also have a similar body type to her. Like she has a natural big ass and so do you. But you have a tiny waist. Yeah. Oh my God. I could recreate one of her outfits for you for Halloween so easily. Okay.

Oh my god. And you could just wear all black and be ye. No, I would be Kim. Oh yeah. Oh my god. We have to do it. Craig can be Scott Disick. No, we're going to make Craig Pete. Oh my god. We're making Craig Pete.

Craig would never do it. He doesn't like funny things for Halloween. It's a whole fight. Yeah, it's a whole thing. And they don't want to feel like you chose it for them. Yeah, they're just like, you have to trick them. So I saw the Call Her Daddy clip that's going around everywhere where she's like, do you think you're Ye's muse? And she's like, yeah, I mean, it was...

Peter Softee's Muse and Uncut Gems. Uncut Gems. Uncut Gems. So I was like, okay, I can work with that. Wait, I need to watch Uncut Gems. I haven't watched it. I heard it was like stressful. So I just skipped it. Yeah, people were like, if you have anxiety, don't watch this movie. And I was like, I don't even want to see the trailer then. I was Peter Softee's Muse and Uncut Gems. So with that, I was like, we're doing it. Aiden.

Des's brother, who by the way is single and in New York City, 41 years old, zaddy, so handsome.

dm him um i think it's what is it ado bishop i'm in like a i'm trying to um pawn people off yeah you're doing love connections i didn't he was gonna come home and i was like if this motherfucker comes home with my makeup like this he's gonna call des and be like we have a problem something's going on with your wife and i'm scared so i'm putting it on laughing that like i'm potentially might see someone in the next 20 minutes

And when I was doing it, I was like, I became her. And then I just kept leaving. Yeah. These voicemails method acting. I was like, and I did a headphone that had no microphone. I was like, yeah, you're not responding to my text messages. And I know you're on Instagram because you won't stop fucking posting and yelling at everyone. And I know you fired your assistant who knows where the caps lock is. But I think you should find him again.

It's super crazy. I love her. I actually really, really like her. Dude, you gotta respect the hustle. She said that. She's like, I'm the number one hustler in the world. She has a podcast. She also was like, I haven't cried since 1996 and I'm certainly not going to cry about this. And I was like... Yeah, people were trying to hate on it. Like, oh, it only lasted... I'm like, Kanye was clearly trying to make him jealous. This girl was getting a Birkin.

Literally, she got way more than a Birkin. I would have done for the Birkin. I would have done way more for less. Are you kidding? If you're out here judging Julia Fox, judge yourself first, okay? Yeah, seriously. I know the shit you girls have done for Pandora bracelets. Don't come for Julia Fox. Okay, Pandora, the charms. That shit was my shit. That shit hit like sophomore year of high school. When they had the little tennis racket, I was like...

Someone's going to be cool. So yeah, Julie Fox is going to build her brand. We love that for her. Butter, do not eat the flowers you're going to throw up again. Sorry. In my Valentine's Day card, Craig wrote about my future cat. Wait. Okay. That makes me really happy. Yeah. The Geekers are very excited about your cat. I know. He was like, I can't wait. I forget what it was, but I can't wait to grow our family with... We're naming her Buttons.

Oh my gosh, that's so cute. I love that so much. I've been watching stuff. I've been watching stuff too. I've been watching a lot of stuff. This is when you know we're in sync with our depression. We've been watching stuff. We are watching shit. We're doing well when we're like, oh, I haven't seen something in a while. No, we're watching shit. Oh no, we are deep in shit. I'm caught up. I'm caught the fuck up. Tell me. Where do we begin?

I mean, I know you love a cult. I know you love a Ponzi scheme. Have you watched Anna Delvey? I have hot takes about it. I as well. And I'm so interested because I see you as like the epitome of. I know. I've watched documentaries on her. Yeah. Guys, I'm going to piss some people off and I'm not done with it. I think I'm on like episode six or seven.

Am I enjoying it? Yes. Am I going to finish it? Absolutely. Is it done as well as it should be? Absolutely fucking not. See you in court, Shonda Rhimes. I love Shonda Rhimes. See you in small claims court. How unlikable can the reporter be?

And us also have to follow the story through her eyes when we don't want to. We don't want to. And I don't care about her life. And I mean that in the nicest way. In the nicest way. She's probably an amazing human. I want to see Anna Delvey do sheisty shit the entire time. I don't want to see you complaining about your pregnancy one more time. I don't care about your unborn baby. Don't care about it.

I love Shonda Rhimes and I think she's great at scripted television shows. I think she gives it a flair of it not being too serious, but you're invested in like the storyline and it is a little bit dramatic. I don't think it was right for what this show could have been. I wanted this to be so fucking like I wanted it to be dark.

Yes, you know dark and I wanted to be like cool and I wanted to get deep in the mind of this girl Yeah, yeah, it was too much of like us. It was like late It was fantasy when I'm like no this is real dark like even how they were showing it made it seem so Fantasy and I was like no I want to know some real shit and do you want to know what I think is blowing this show out of the water? Hmm Pam and Tommy Wow

Wow, that is a hot take. Have you watched it? Okay. I have watched it. I'm caught up on Pam and Tommy. I'm on episode six of Inventing Anna.

I am so fascinated watching Pam and Tommy for multiple reasons. One, how they transformed the fuck out of Lily James to look exactly like Pamela Anderson. You can't take your eyes off of her. And sound exactly like her. The mannerisms. One of the best actresses of our time. They said it took four hours in makeup. Four hours in hair and makeup.

Also, I am so glad... Pamela had done this whole thing where she was like, I'm getting off Instagram. I've never been on social media. I don't care to watch the show. I live my own life. And I really respected that. And as I'm watching it, I almost wish that Pam would come out and say something because...

There's a scene where she's saying to Tommy, like, you're not taking this as seriously as you should be because you're a guy. You're going to walk in the streets. You're going to get high fives because you fucked me. I am a woman. This is going to ruin me. And it did essentially ruin her career. Well, yeah, that's fucking crazy because then you have like Kim Kardashian where it started her career. Right. You're nailing it in that there's an awkward tension happening where...

Pamela Anderson has publicly not supported this film and she doesn't like that it's all being brought up again because it's serious trauma for her. Yeah. People like look into it again and it's fucked up. And that's why I do think there's a weird feeling around it. But then there's like the other perspective where it's like,

You want Pamela to have her moment. I want her to have redemption. Like I want. Yes. A redemption, like a brilliant moment where it's like this should already happen to you. Yeah. Let us show your real story in how you got so fucking sexualized and fucked and not respected as the person you should have been respected for in the industry. Absolutely. The scenes of her on the set of Baywatch broke my heart because she actually was

was going to be like one of the biggest actresses. And people fucking loved her. And she had such star quality. Such star quality. And she just seemed like the sweetest, cutest. The nicest. And their like love story is...

So crazy. It's crazy. I love how she's like, this is so me too. Like, I don't want a bad boy. I want a nice guy. I want an accountant. And like one tattooed guy shows up and she's like, I'll marry you in four days. That was literally me. I was like, I hate comedians. I would never date a comedian. Literally rather cut my left arm off. And then Des came into my life second date. I was like, take me. Are we doing this or what? Yeah. But I...

i love her i love pamela i think so do you not like the show um i i i like the show like i'm obviously gonna finish it and i'm gonna watch it i think it's like a little bit boring like i'm not like oh my god what's gonna happen i was bored with the anna stuff i'm like how many stupid conversations with the reporters are we gonna have but i think it's also riveted by pam and tommy right

I just think this story is so crazy. Look at this. Yeah. But I think it's also because you don't watch Euphoria and I watch Euphoria. Oh, you're used to like Euphoria. I mean, there's no drama. You're like you're waiting for this. This is my thing with Euphoria. I don't want to watch like cool kids in high school. Like that's not fun for me. Yeah. It makes you very nervous to have children because there's actually no way that high schools are like this. Like there's just no way.

I will start watching euphoria. I actually don't for your mental health. I don't want you to because it'll make you too anxious. It's just not letting me watch. It's so anxiety ridden. Like I'm gonna be getting 1 a.m. FaceTime from you freaking out. There's too much. There's too much drug use and you are pure and I can't I don't want you to watch it. Oh, thank you. I'm like I've changed from it.

you text me and you're like are we gonna do molly tonight or what bitch like oh my god fucking lose that i'm taking an edible and going to bed literally if someone was like for a million dollars can you roll a joint i'd be like absolutely not no idea what i'm doing um i can't either would you well that's just because you're fancy and you have

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Did I write pizza toppings? I don't even see pizza toppings. I think you were writing drunk notes. I wrote a drunk note. Okay. I literally wrote in the notes, I'm drunk, dash. Oh my God, this was hilarious. So we're in our hotel room, Craig and I, and I don't know, I'm just being my normal self. And I said something and I had him dying laughing. Like you do, you know, you're on stage at all times. And he goes, you know what, Paige? Yeah.

I feel like you really don't get enough credit for how funny you actually are. And I was so fucking insulted as if he had just discovered me. You're like, what have you been on Reddit? What are they saying on Reddit? They're not talking about my incredible sense of humor on Reddit.

Yeah, like crazy that that audience is not getting my highbrow sense of humor. That's fucking insane. Honestly, I don't think people understand how sarcastic we really are. Like 90% of the shit that comes out of my mouth, I don't think about and I don't mean. Oh yeah, we were talking to Sierra today. We're like our whole sense of humor is being like,

mean to each other and roast each other and that's how we show affection and then apparently that comes off bitchy and apparently now I'm a mean girl but like it's hilarious if I'm nice to you I fucking hate you I'm sorry if I'm like oh my god hi how are you aww

In New York, that means go fuck yourself. So he was like, you just like don't get enough credit. And I was like, honestly, I feel like that's a kind of mean to say to me. And he was like, what are you talking about? I literally just gave you a compliment. I go, other than the fact that I've built an entire career off of my personality. Oh my God.

So I just feel like I needed to... Have you heard a one-liner in confessionals? Do you listen to any episodes of Giggly Squad when my mom was trying to convince you to eat Italian food for the first time? Because that was iconic. That was one of our best bits.

Those are our best bits. We made Craig listen to it. So now like after that conversation, anytime there's like a guy that's funny or says something funny, I'm like, you're really funny for a guy. Oh my God. When I do comedy, if I have like an opener and a feature that are both men, whenever I go on stage, you go, give it up for these guys. Men can be funny too. It turns out. Wait, that's amazing. I love that. I like to twist the narrative, but anyway, we're just having fun here. Oh, posting selfies, crying, crying.

apparently helps Bella Hadid cope with her anxiety and depression. How do you feel about post being crying? I think, I think whatever helps you do it. I know that that personally would not help me. My comedy friend was like, was like, when I want to seem relatable, I post crying photos on Instagram.

I'd rather just look in the mirror and watch myself cry. But it's definitely like a weird psychosis. Yeah, like a normal person. Yeah. You're like, it's a cry for help, but it's like a cry for help for strangers to like think you're sad, but you're not even explaining why you're sad, so they can't even like help you and you're just kind of like, I'm sad. I have a new therapist and we're starting on Thursday, so... Oh my God. Good luck. So we'll see. Just be yourself. Just be yourself.

honestly lay it all out don't lie in the beginning don't try to pretend it's not as bad as it is go dude people psycho people don't talk about it enough how much they lie to their therapists oh my god i lied to my therapist you guys last week and des was like why did you do that and i was like oh my god i need more therapy no i know what i lied about yeah i do so badly so you know how i lost my laptop yeah this last trip yeah i also lost my podcast okay

Where did you lose that? I left it at the London. Hannah Lucy Burner. You didn't tell me that.

I went on one trip and bitch lost not only her laptop but her podcast equipment. So that is embarrassing. And I say it to the gigglers because I tell them everything. That's also a lot of money. I would never lie to the gigglers. It's also literally the only thing I need for my career. Yeah. So I could not, like, I couldn't, I was like, oh my God, I lost, I told her, I go, I left my microphone too. Silly me. I couldn't tell her that I lost my, because I, because I didn't want her to really worry about me. I didn't want her to be like, oh, this girl.

This is way worse than we thought. Like she's going to make me do twice a week or something. I can't afford twice a week. I can do one. This woman's expensive. I have a friend that has two therapists. One that she lies to who makes her feel better. And one that she actually tells the truth to. He puts her on medicine. Talk about this because your relationship with your therapist is important. I also know my therapist likes me. And I think that's important because

Because like sometimes I've had a therapist before where I'm like, they fucking hate me. I've had a therapist like that before, too. Like they're like they think I'm a stupid millennial because I was like, she didn't tag me in her Insta story. She tagged other people and I could tell she was like, I hate you. Wait, there is a moment where like you sometimes get to a turning point with your therapist and you're just like.

You're actually not giving me good advice. You just like dislike me, I think. I'm like, I think you're actually trying to ruin my life. Yeah, like I think that's horrible advice and I'm probably not going to do that. She's like, why don't you just give up? Because clearly this isn't meant for you. And I was like, on life? On life? Yeah.

But like my therapist, like you show up to therapy as Julia Fox. Like say you're like, is this better? Like my therapist, I love so much right now. Like she legit did tell me my coping mechanism is humor. And I literally had that moment where I was like, she thinks I'm funny.

Yeah. I think my coping mechanism is just to be like super self-deprecating. But like if you read anything about like manifesting and like meditation and all that shit, they say that it's actually so bad for you to do. I used to be so self-deprecating to the point that like the people around you are like, oh, fucking Hannah's a mess or like Hannah's whatever. And I consciously stopped because I felt like I was like becoming the like

I was dimming my own light and then like becoming it. Actually, I have a great moment that happened this weekend when Craig and I were going to the Sports Illustrated party. Like there's such famous people that go to that party and people that like walk the step and repeat and like that you would walk by and be like, oh, my God, like I can't believe I'm seeing that person right now.

Right before we got there, Craig was like, oh, I always get like right before I always get like a little bit nervous to walk into events like this. And I said to him, I was like, like, don't get nervous. The way I don't get nervous is I just say to myself, no one knows who you are. You're no one. There's so many other better people here than you. No one's even looking at you. And he looked at me and he goes, oh, my God, Paige, that's so fucking mean to say to yourself. Like, why would you think that?

And I had a moment where I was like, wait, that was so mean to say to myself. But I feel like tell yourself you're a stupid piece of shit. No one wants you there. Duh. He was like, I'm not going to do that to myself. I'm not going to say that. He's like, I'd rather be nervous than absolutely shit on myself. And I was like, oh, OK. I tell myself I'm so ugly that I'm going to burn people's eyes and then I go on the red carpet.

I have, I told you, I have reversed by dysmorphia where I'm like, okay, all these sports, those shame models have never seen a long torso like mine and a fat ass like mine. And I literally walk on there and someone's like, excuse me, you're in the way. And I'm like, they're like, are you with the crew? Are you production? Are you, what camera team are you with? Like, no, I am actually crazy. And I, um, anyway, but it's,

So maybe both are bad. Maybe Bella's got it right. Maybe we should just start posting selfies of us hysterically crying, but I can't cry recently. And I think that's something I'm going to bring up with my therapist. Are you on meds? No, just birth control that I like literally never take. Yeah. Um, I know that people double stage. I know. I know that people,

Hence why I've watched every single episode of every show that's out right now. Just to feel something. I know people are like, oh, I doubled up on my birth control. Can you triple up? Because I'm also... Oh, yeah. Like, they wait until you do two pills. No, you're fucked. Like, you're fucked. Yeah, I've fucked up my whole system. I do have to say something interesting about... We're talking about our boyfriends and laughter and shit like that. Des is...

is doing his podcast again the des bishop podcast and he he doesn't believe in love languages and that has caused some of a rift between us because you know my love language is words of affirmation obviously yeah those are mine and quality time but like don't need it um i don't give a i was like i don't give a fuck so des's love language is

Well, okay. Let me explain to me. Oh, yeah. You also talked about it. I didn't get to see it. But my mom said you guys talked about love languages. Wow. I'm very interested in this. Okay. Keep going. So Des and I get in a fight about it. And he's like, I think it's bullshit. I think it's bullshit. So he does a whole podcast episode about love languages, does a whole test. And he calls me after. And I go, can I guess your love language? And he goes, yeah. And I go, it's acts of service and quality time. And he goes, yes. And I'm like, yeah, because they're real.

But then he was kind of right. And he goes, it's just not that simple. And like, it's not that clear cut. And his thing is they don't factor in something super important. And he said his love language is laughter, which I thought was very cute because I thought he was going to say that he doesn't believe in love, which is like, OK, like classic fuckboy behavior. That's why we love him. But he was like, no, it's laughter. And then I was like, and I was like, but I feel like you're not funny. Yeah.

So anyway, listen to that episode. But I feel like that could be put into words of affirmation, like talking to someone and like laughing with them. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. So but I fully believe that it's important to know what kind of love your partner wants to receive, because if you're constantly like hugging them and they're pushing you away, you'd be like, they don't like me. And it's like, no, they have reasons that's happening. And they're just not receiving love the right way. But then sometimes, like the way you like to give love is different than how you like to receive it. It's a whole fucking thing. You guys Google it. OK, so that's Craig's whole stance on it.

His love language to receive is words of affirmation. And I mean, like, if there was a scale from 1 to 10, this man is like 15. I have to tell him every 10 minutes that I love him. Which is totally fine because I like... What's his sign again? Libra? Aquarius. Oh, okay. So he...

So he likes words of affirmation. So I was asking him, like, okay, what is your love language? He said words of affirmation. He goes, but the way I give love. And I was like, no, no, no. That doesn't factor. Whoever you are with, whatever their love language is what you have to give. It has nothing to do with what you want to give. Or you just find someone who's compatible with that. But that's hard. Like, I like to give words of affirmation. Des hates compliments.

interesting I love to give physical touch yeah or no it's to receive blowjobs so we're amazing together he likes to give acts of service but acts of service don't get me going because in my head I'm like you should be doing that anyway like we want me to reward you for sure minimum yeah the

He's like, oh my God. He thinks starting your car in the morning is something great. I'm like, one, I don't have a car. And two, so you got off easy there. Starting your car, you just press it now. You don't even have to turn a fucking key. You could do it from the bed. I was like, and I grew up with a dad. I've got the things. I know the stuff. You should open my door. You should pull out my chair. That's just being normal. What is awkward, though, is like,

Des and I both don't like don't care for gift receiving but like capitalism and society makes it like if you're not getting all these grand gifts or giving each other gifts it's like weird like every fucking commercial is like Zales give a kiss and I'm like

Should I be... I even, like, tried to buy him a watch once and he was like, don't waste your money on that. Craig hates watches too. That's so weird. Yeah, I know. It's, like, the only, like... Good, because they're expensive. We got off easy with it. Yeah, it's the only expensive thing. I was trying to, like... I was, like, planning this whole thing for this watch and then it didn't... And he's like, I hate watches. And I'm like, well, I'll never do something nice again. No, like, for Valentine's Day, all Craig and I did was, like, I wrote him a card and he wrote me a card and it was...

Like that is all I really cared about. I prefer a written card or like a poem even. Yeah. I also want like a designer, a designer bag, like really nice shoes and like probably some jewelry. Yeah. But like I don't like gifts.

I so Des is men are very simple you guys this is my biggest advice they will tell you what they like and then you just give them a ton of it like what is Craig likes the Ravens like literally for the whole rest of your life just get him Raven stuff and that man will be so happy um Des likes ice cream because he's a 46 year old man but he is a four-year-old in deep down and he just wants to eat ice cream

It's like he's in Dublin right now. I called an ice cream shop in Dublin and I was like, hello, my fiance is Des Bishop. Did you try and have an accent? That's British. I was like, what's up? They're so cute with I love Irish accents.

and I was like, it says Bishop's birthday, and they knew who he was, and I was like, oh, and I go, can you send him just like tons of ice cream, like crazy shit, and like a nice note. They go, easy. Des calls me. It's late at night, and he goes, oh my God, someone's at my door, and in my head, I'm like, perfect. Oh my God. Because I timed it perfectly, and he hangs up, and it's late, like 10 p.m.,

he texts me and he goes they're not leaving i don't know who it is like he's he thinks like someone's trying to rob him yeah call him up and i all i want to do is surprise this man i'm like babe just get the door and he's like no one ever comes this late and i didn't order food and i was like i'm trying to surprise you for fucking valentine's he's like why would you tell me that he's been fucking knocking for 10 minutes i don't know what to do i thought someone's trying to fucking rob me and i'm like this is so romantic and then wait does he have a house there he has a nice little townhouse

Hannah, you have homes and we don't even talk about it. Honey, we don't talk about it. I let the media do what they want, but we know on Giggly Squad. International. I was like, I want a house. Wait, will your kids automatically have dual citizenship? Des has actually was born in England. So he's British citizenship. Will your kids have that?

These are all questions I have no fucking clue and it's admin and it's actually stressing me out. I don't even have pre-check. Yeah, that was... About my kids' passports. My unborn child's passport. Leave it alone. I just got like a full-blown anxiety attack. I'm so sorry to do that.

Wait, do babies have passports? And how do you take a baby's passport picture? I am so stressed right now. I'm literally getting like red in the chest. Because they can't sit there on their own. But you can't be in the picture. I go, you didn't go get a pre-check, kid. Wait in that line on 34th Street. Jesus Christ, wait.

You call the people, set up the appointment. I literally feel like because our moms were so doting and so like did everything for us that we're going to be the exact opposite. And we're just going to be like four years old and be like, I'm hungry. And I'm like, yeah, so am I. What do you want me to do? Do you want to be independent? Do you want to need no man? Figure it out. Okay. Have you done your taxes yet? No, probably not. You always miss the deadline. You're going to jail. Yeah.

So anyway, Des gets the ice cream and he likes this like local business called Murphy's in Dublin. Shout out. And he does this whole like promo for them that he didn't have to do. And then the giggler started messaging me being like, can Des please do ads for Giggly Squad moving forward? Yeah.

It would be funny if we got Craig and Des to do our ads. That would be really funny. No, but then they'd want a percentage and like that's not we're not playing that game. No, we're keeping our finances very separately. We put it on the business. Talk about like role reversal and like just how strong women we are. See, I'm trying to not be self-deprecating. Craig brought up to me the other day like a prenup. And he said to me, he was like, would you give me a prenup?

And I was like, I felt like such a boss ass bitch. I was like, well, a thousand percent. We're going to sign a prenup. But like, I don't know if I'm going to be the one to give it to you. Like, I feel like that's something we would like write together. He was like, can you serve me? I was like, why are you thinking about that? And he was like, because I just feel like, I don't know. Like, we're definitely, you're going to make me sign one. I was like, yeah, no shit. I'm going to make you sign one. I know. Oh my God. I was like, stop writing my coattails, Craig. Yeah.

I could just see you in two years. I made you. I made you. He's so cute. So cute. Okay. Wait. Okay. Sorry. Now, like, I'm all stressed about your prenup with Craig, but I'm stressed about your baby's passport. Wait, you have on here read receipts. Do you have your read receipts on?

So I have one real friend in my life. I think I accidentally put read receipts on with my friend and she was like, I have to tell you something. And I was like, what? And she's like, you have read receipts on. That's so embarrassing. I was so embarrassed. But then it's like having food in your teeth where like I'm so embarrassed. I'm so happy she told me because then I would have been like living my life like that. And read receipts. No, no, no. Because no, no, no. But no.

What ruined my life is learning that Instagram, if you press on read, they still see that you read it. And now I can't enjoy Instagram anymore. Sometimes. Okay. I have like a love hate relationship with read receipts because I'm very traumatized by it because I had a boyfriend at one point in my life. This was in college. And I, one day he took my phone and I didn't know this and he turned on my read receipts and

And I had no idea. And so one day I, we were like texting and I opened, read his message and I didn't respond. And then he like texted me again. And then I responded. I was like, hey, sorry, just saw this. And he goes, no, you didn't. I know that you saw this because you have your read receipts on. And I go, I know for a fact that I do not have my read receipts on. And then I found out he turned them on. Sure.

Sir, I have one thing to say. See you in small claims court. Very triggering. In small claims court. That is so violating and psychotic. And I'm so sorry that. Is that not crazy? He did it to me like literally in Martha's Vineyard. I'm like on vacation with my family, living my life on the beach. This man. I would just like read everything and not respond.

So that's my other point with read receipts. I think it's kind of a boss move to let that person know, yeah, I read this shit and I'm not responding to you. Like I kind of love it. Read receipts are savage and you it's with great power comes great responsibility. And there's multiple ways you could use it. I like some of my best friends have it and like my manager. So I kind of like it because I'm like, OK, at least they're alive. Yeah. The hardest part of dating in the beginning is

Is that like early text battle you do, which leads me to my next segment. Which is? Dry texting. Dry texting? Someone on TikTok, I need to know who these people are, but she did a rant about like dry texting and I'm obsessed with it. I love that there's a name to it. Please explain. And I did a little rant about it. It's that you always need to be a dry texter. Like by dry...

Oh no, Butter's puking. Oh man. Sorry, she ate from the, she ate a plant. Butter, you need to stop eating from the plant. Can you not puke right in front of my podcast? Like I'm literally so busy. Butter's like, I have a stomach bug. I'm trying to lose three pounds. Leave me alone. My cats are amazing. Butter, that's the fourth puke today. No, Butter's going to be fine. She just needs to stop eating Des's. Soil. Soil.

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Okay, so with dry text it means like uninteresting, short, just very blah over text. Sounds like all my ex-boyfriends. Uninteresting, short, and blah. Okay, and this is the reason because A, when you start off with those hot texts, and I don't mean sexy, I just mean like fire texts like you're doing all the time, it is inevitably like going to stop being that hot and you're gonna feel weird. Yeah.

okay also if you're texting all the time and then you meet in person like you've already told him so much stuff you want the high value time to be together you want him to feel like for him to get the good stuff he needs to see you he can't just like get all this great attention from you over the phone so this is only you're talking about only in the beginning in the beginning yeah only in the beginning but then again like don't you like i dry text now like like

I mean, you're long distance, but when I'm not with Des, it's like, did you get the milk? Okay. You're lactose intolerant. Because I want to shit myself tonight. Did you get the milk? Wait, I feel like I have kind of a hot take on this. Because there have been multiple times in my life where I have started talking to a guy who,

And I'm like, yeah, but he's such a bad texter. And I don't mean in like the time it takes him to respond where I'm just like, I haven't laughed at any of your text messages and I like don't care about seeing you. And then I'm like uninterested. I think you can still be funny. Okay. When I say dry, I mean like,

I want no paragraphs. Oh, no paragraphs. I don't want, like, quick explaining. I want, like, just not the best shit through text. Don't be, like, a complete idiot. But, like, make him laugh. Be a little sarcastic. Be a little short. Like, that's the vibe. And I'm not telling you not to be yourself. I'm just saying...

Let him know if he wants to spend time with you. Like it's not going to be just all these like text exchanges. And then you actually get to know him. You know how many dudes I fell in love with over text because I envisioned they were someone they're not. Yeah. You go on a date with them and you're like, oh, now I see your voice behind the text. I'm disgusted. I'm creeped out. I'm I'm there. Is it there is I don't want to say there's texting rules, but I will say when I first started talking to Craig, I

I made like a rule in my head. One that I was never going to ask what he was doing. Like I wanted him to think I was so uninterested in like what he was doing, where he was going. I never asked anything about him. I never texted him first.

And like we would text for maybe like an hour, like four or five text messages like every other day or something. But I never would start it. And I never wanted him to think that like I cared what he was doing, even though like, hello, I was stalking the shit out of him. What are you doing just on your Instagram? I'm like, what's your Venmo again? Because I just want to see like who you're paying, what's going on. Who are you hanging with? This girl on TikTok had a finesse move where she was like,

be really like don't respond quick to any text messages and then when you're with him never be on your phone so when you're not answering he assumes like you're really doing something you're not just like playing games with him or you could really mind fuck him and be on your phone the whole time i just feel like the texting games in the beginning people say don't play games but like yeah

You can fuck it up by if you're not playing it, you're losing. Just know that. Or you date an older man where like Des texts like he we have funny text exchange, but like he wanted to talk on the phone all the time. And I I like that. I love it. What about because I feel like phone calls are different. What about people? Yeah. Like I think I think the best way to get me is.

Excited about you Is a random ass phone call Out of nowhere Or a random ass FaceTime See I'm not I don't The FaceTimes are like Flirting and fun I feel like phone calls Are so intimate Do you know that Craig says That New York and LA Are the only people That FaceTime Cause I always FaceTime him And I'm just like What are you doing Like

Yeah. And he thinks it's so weird. He's like, I don't FaceTime with anyone but you. And I was like, I don't talk on the phone with any of my friends. Wait, that's crazy. We only FaceTime. If you don't live in New York or LA, tell us if you FaceTime because I've never thought of that, but I believe him. He was like, I think that's a major city thing. Like cities in the country, like normal people aren't FaceTiming all the time. And I was like, I think you're really wrong about that. Maybe because we just don't have friends. Yeah.

maybe you're just not as good looking i mean my thing is when i facetime i stare at myself the entire time i mean i don't yeah no well same but also there are times where like i put my phone down it's looking at the ceiling true yeah and it's like i just want your presence here i'm not like yeah isn't and it's more intimate than a phone call wow we figured out a lot um final thing are you playing wordle

No, I'm not, but I keep seeing it everywhere. Are you playing Wordle? Obviously, I'm playing Wordle. I will download Wordle. I don't even know what it is, but I do. It's so weird. It's not an app. You have to download it. It's just like Google Wordle and...

It's a really fun game. Everyone's been like running home playing Wordle. Yeah. And it literally takes three seconds and there's only one a week. I mean a day. So you like get addicted to it. I used to play this game called Jado, which is kind of the same with my grandma. So I really love Wordle. I highly recommend it. It's a dope game. You're literally morphing into Julia Fox. Wordles. I was Josh Safdie's.

word all muse i'm actually the word all muse like word all is created around me because i use so many words i feel like what even is it is it like it's a word game okay thanks uh figure the fuck out it sounds like a pokemon but it's a word game guys thank you so much for giggling with us today we love you so much we're sorry the episode was slightly late um

Some of us were drunk. And we love you so much. We'll talk to you later. Bye. Bye.