Giggling about photoshopping, post breakup diets, and cinnamon toast crunch
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I mean the day just got away from me. What is up? Giglas! I'm so excited. You guys thought we were lying to you. You were like, these bitches tell us every week that merch is coming out. And were we unsure of when it would come out? Yes. But did we keep telling you it would come? Yes. Because we knew it would come eventually. And we want to say thank you to everyone who bought merch. It is...

It's so exciting to see like what people like the most. People are loving further fucking more sweatshirts. You guys, I'm obsessed what we have now. We want to just do a quick little just inspo chat of like how we came up with it. I love when you have out of nowhere come up with a concept and the next you know someone's wearing it. It just makes my heart flutter. Yeah, it's cool. What is your favorite piece of the collection page? The sweatshirt I'm wearing right now, the Manifest That Shit sweatshirt. I have, I don't think I've taken it off.

Oh my god. I love the italic font on it. I love it. Because it gives me, it gives me like kind of like funny old school, like an old school meme vibe. Yeah. And it's like the back of it is like cool and swaggy. It's really cool. I was at the doctor's the other day and one of the nurses was like, cool sweatshirt. And I was like, oh, thanks.

It's so funny because I don't go in public that much. So when someone gives me a compliment in public, I'm like, my head gets so fucking big. I'm like, I knew I was that bitch, but I was stuck alone in my bedroom getting confused for a second. Oh my God. I am... When I get a compliment in public on something I'm wearing, I literally, in my brain, I'm like, this girl just asked me to be her friend and now we're friends. Like, I was getting my eyebrows done the other day and this girl...

was sitting there and she goes, oh my God, I love your boots. A normal person would say, oh my God, thank you so much. I was like, no, let me tell you. I went into a five minute story on these boots on how like I've had them for so long. I have to take them to get fixed because the heel's coming off. And she was like, and I told her where I got them. And she was just like,

Like, I realized I'd overstuffed the boundary. She was like, I didn't need a fucking dissertation on your boot from Nordstrom. I was like, so in conclusion, we do love these boots. Thank you for noticing. And she was like, okay. I also, my favorite is the Giggly Squad established outfit. Yeah, I knew that was your favorite. And I realized, because someone messaged me, they were like, this is legit my middle school gym uniform. Yes.

And I was like, a thousand percent. So I love the nostalgia of it. I just love like the classic gym rat kind of look, even if you haven't worked out in months. And...

And if anyone for asking, I just wear large hoodies now. Like I think I'm Ariana Grande, but I don't have the body. But I still like I'm not like this little tiny twig, but I still love just swimming in a sweatshirt during quarantine for sure. Sweats are great. And then people I know are yelling at me because I was like, sweatsuits are out. And oh, yeah, we're getting called out. We're not like throwing away all of our sweatsuits. We're not like absolute insane people. Like, obviously, we're still home or chilling on the couch. We're wearing sweats.

And sweats really, actually, this is crazy. I went to the doctor for like a checkup and you know how like they weigh you? Yeah. And I got on the scale and I looked back at the nurse and I go, that's not me.

I go, that's not me. She goes, no, it is. I don't know her. I was like, I don't know who that person is, but it's not me. I'm 10 pounds over what I normally am. And I called one of my girlfriends and I go, oh, my God, you're not going to believe it. Like I'm 10 pounds. And I told her how much I weigh. And she this is how I knew. She goes, shut up.

shut up. You where where is it? And I was like, oh, my God, thank God that you said that because I was like, are people out here being like, wow, Paige is like gaining weight.

No, but I'm happy about this because just between me and you, you're that person who posts like French fries and Burger King and pizza all the time. And then you're walking around, you know, you lost weight from it. Right. And that hurts people. People are hurt. People are offended. So I'm happy that you drank your ass off. Drank my ass off. For a month. Yeah. And you got a little beer belly. Here's the other thing. No, I have like a little bit of a tummy. Here's the thing. What?

When Perry and I broke up, I went into full... Like, I didn't eat. Like, so when I'm heartbroken, some of my girlfriends are like, I eat ice cream, I eat everything. I'm the opposite. I think maybe I had two meals in the past. Because you get sick to your stomach. Yeah, I get sick to my... I couldn't... When I'm happy, I'm like, I deserve all this food. I deserve it all. When I'm sad, I'm like, I'm going to just...

Just like eat air Yeah And just cry about it So like this fall I lived on like light And air And that was it And I was happy about it And then like when I started Feeling better And like feeling back to myself I was like let's fuck it up And I just went I think I went a little bit crazy It's really more about Being healthy Like I eat like absolute trash

Yeah, I think that you can find a balance of starting to nourish little vitamins every now and then. I love how I'm saying that like I've eaten a vegetable in the last month because I haven't. No, I really, I just need to eat, I need to drink more water. That's what it is. It's just drinking water. 100%. I was even thinking like one piece of advice for if I had children. I would just tell them to drink water.

I mean, as I like ate Oreos in bed last night and like didn't go out with my friends, I was like, I'm going to be an adult tonight and like get things done. I literally laid in bed and ate Oreos.

Well, you got stuff done. You like, did you pull the Oreo, divide it? And then like, like, how do you eat your Oreo? Because I feel like that could be like. I eat it like a normal cookie. Oh, you just bite it? Yeah. One time I was talking to a guy and we were eating Oreos and I was like, oh, every time you eat Oreos, you forget how fucking good Oreos are. And then I watched him and he was taking it apart. And I was like, oh, he's eating like in the middle first. He disregarded the middle and ate just the cookie part. What? Yeah.

And I looked at him and I was just like, I'll see you in court. That is the craziest thing I've ever seen someone do. It's so funny. This reminds me of a TikTok that you sent me. Yeah. About the ick. Yeah. Where like when you're starting to be over a guy, you start noticing things that no one else would be offended by. But he'll like bite his nail. No. And you're just like, that is the most grotesque thing I've ever seen while you're biting your own nails. You know? Yeah.

It can be the smallest thing.

Like sometimes I've like ended, I've not seen people again just because like I don't like their laugh. You know, I'm like, I can't. I'm not going to live with you the rest of my life if you're laughing like that. You're like, I'm very funny. So if this is the laugh track to my life, get out of here. Get out of here. I, for some reason, restaurants really bring out character in people. And that's why I think first dates are great. Yeah. But it's also where I like,

end it with people because I ended a three-year relationship because of a sushi restaurant yeah where the waiter came over and was like what do you want and he like didn't know what to order and he was like what do you recommend and I was like we're at a fucking sushi restaurant our whole life it's this I've never seen a sushi restaurant with a different menu either like tuna rolls or

I was just like two in a row. Like he was like, what do you think is good here? Like, but like literally had no idea what to order. No. And then, but he was like, he was just, he had no idea what was going on with his life. Like it was such a metaphor for what was really happening. Like he was confused. He was lost. And then he also like is not assertive. And I just want him to be like, like take control. So at the end I go get the check.

Get the check. And he like couldn't get the person's attention. And I fucking lost it. I finally was like, can we have a check, please? Thank you. Did not speak to him walking home. Got there. He's like, are you okay? And I go, we can't do this anymore. No. But it was a legitimate breakup. Like it just, the sushi restaurant. It was just the cherry on top.

There's such a turn on to when you sit down at a restaurant, whether you're like with a group of people or you're like just on a date and a guy is just like, babe, I got it. And the waitress comes over and he just does the whole order. Like, I don't know if it's because we're Italian, but there's something in me that I'm like, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Order for the table. Like, I just, I love it so much. When a guy orders two appetizers or more, like, I'm done. Like, I'm a ring size four, you know? Like, I have been, I've, like, dated. I love that you're a size four. Thank you. You're such, like, you need to, you guys, I don't want to normalize that. If you heard size four, that's not. No, it's not normal. I'm a solid six, six and a half on a bad day. Okay? It's not normal. And I don't even know if it's, imagine if that was inches. Yeah.

No, but I want to say one more thing about the ordering thing because I've had like such past trauma with boyfriends with it. Like, you know, when you're sitting at a restaurant and there's like two things on the menu and you're like, oh, I don't know like if I should get this or this. The response I want you to give me is we'll get both. Like if we don't finish it or you don't like it, we'll send it back or like we'll take it home. A hundred percent. If my man is sitting across from me at the table and is like, pick.

You're single now. If I say, Brian, am I in the mood for sweet or savory and he doesn't say both or tell me what I'm in the mood for? What are you there for? Like, why are you here?

Why are you here? If I wake up in the morning and I say, I don't know if I want sweet or savory and I don't have eggs and pancakes and bacon coming in my direction. Yeah. I'm outies. I was at a guy's house one night and we were like watching TV and it was like midnight, whatever. And I was like, hey, you want a snack?

Like, want to just, like, snack around in the kitchen? And he goes, oh, no, I don't really want to, but you can. And I was like, but then it's not fun. So I'm just snacking in the kitchen by myself. Like, just come sit, at least come sit in the kitchen with me while I, like, peruse. I'm happy you brought this up because that was when, like, we started to have some weird tension on Summer House. Yeah, no, bring it up, Hannah.

I'll bring it up because people want to know what was going down. And I started being on the phone with Des for like three, four hours. And when you're in like falling in love mode, you start not caring about your friend's snack schedule, which...

I want to apologize here because I know how important that was for us and like our routine at night. So there were a couple of times where I was hungry and I was just on the phone, went upstairs, did not even tell you that I was taking the six flights up to the kitchen, which is a full journey. It's a journey. That's the other thing. It was like going to Europe. It's a full journey to go up. And I would go up at the same time every single night, get some snacks and come down. And one night I walked into my closet.

Where Hannah was laying. And I said, hey. I turned it into my photo booth. I said, hey. I mean, my phone booth. Are you hungry? Do you want a snack? And she held up pretzels and said, oh, I already got one. And like just the betrayal that I felt. And I just shut the door. And I was like, see if I ever speak to you again. But you know what, Paige? We'll address it if we get a reunion. OK, so save it. No, I'm going to. Because I was just like, this bitch doesn't want a snack with me.

Can we discuss the WAP dance though for a second? Because I posted it and people were like, I wish that they showed more of this instead of you guys sleeping. And I was like, same. But we got in so much trouble. The one night we went to get snacks and decided that we had to perfect the WAP dance and we couldn't perfect it. And we were, Paige, we had bruises all over our body. Paige was at one point just like thrown across the floor. I look like I got hit by a train. Like.

the bruises on my body and Amanda was so good at it. And I was just like, how do you have this rhythm? This is where she tricked us. We watched it and it was like the most graceful, beautiful thing I've ever seen done. And I was like, wait, this is so easy. And if I could look like that, like who needs college? Like I'm quitting everything. Fuck this podcast. I'm going on the road doing the WAP dance. And then we tried to do it.

I mean, it looked like we looked like the nerdiest seventh grade white girls like trying to dance ever. Like we just look. Amanda looked like our dance instructor. Yeah. And we didn't want to be there. And like, we just wanted to eat. She was such a dance instructor vibes, too, because she was like, you're doing good. Yup. And five.

five, six. She was like pumping. When you turned the wrong direction, she was like, okay, I didn't even know someone could do that. Okay. We love that. We love that for you. Stay creative. I was like, you know, I don't look good. Okay. But we were, we were in the kitchen at like 11 PM and we, we finish our like WAP practice, just me and you. And we go downstairs and Lindsay, like her hair was like, like she clearly had been sleeping. Um,

And is just like, you know, mom, when she goes in your room, when you've been like talking, when you're like supposed to be asleep, she was like, I've been sleeping.

What are you guys doing up there? And we are so sorry. Oh, God. Hannah, this was a different night. This was the night after we took all those WAP dance videos. And then this was the night after that we still couldn't get it out of our heads. And everyone was asleep. It was like a Tuesday night. And it was like 1 a.m. And we're up in the kitchen just snacking our faces off. And you're like, let me just do the dance really quick. And I go, we're going to get in trouble for you being loud. And then...

I felt like we were at a sleepover and Lindsay came out and was like, are you guys not asleep? And we like scurried downstairs. We got a lot of hate when our party schedule was not aligned with the rest of the group.

And I'm sorry that I get random bursts of excitement on a Tuesday at 1 because I've been depressed all day and suddenly, for whatever reason, some dopamine just hit. Yeah. I can control when the dopamine hits. Wait, can I tell you something crazy? The other day, I was with this girl.

And I'm sitting on the bed. I'm like sitting there and I'm so excited. He's like, what is up with you? I go, I don't know. God just gave me a serotonin fucking burst. And I am just living it to its fullest because I know it's about to go down. And I just want to live this moment. 15 minutes later, he goes, why do you look so sad? And I go, I don't know. The serotonin left. Like,

Like, do you ever just have moments where you're like, fuck yeah, I love my life. And then 10 minutes later, you're like, I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. This is like what it's like to date us.

season airing like it's a roller coaster ride and i will wake up and just be sad and des will be like you okay babe like what's up and like talk me out of it then something will hit and a confidence boost will come yeah and i will like not shut up and i'm just talking about life and how i'm gonna take over the world and he's like okay i'm glad you got confidence for a second but like we need to find a balance and then again i'll be on the couch just quiet and he's like what happened did you hurt your own feelings again because you got too high on yourself yep

The other night when I was on Watch What Happens, I was like going to watch it. And I was like, oh, my God, do you want to watch it? Do you want to watch it? I put it on for five seconds. I go, nope. Turn it right off. Can't watch it. Nope. Cannot watch. Why did I do that? Why did I do that? Turn it off. Turn it off. And the guy I was with was like,

are you good? Like, are you okay? And I was like, no, I thought like I had enough serotonin. You didn't. Fun fact. I don't listen to any of my podcasts. I don't watch any of my interviews. I know what was said. I don't need to watch it. I don't watch. I don't watch Summer House when it's on TV, but I watch it before I didn't watch. I didn't watch your watch what happens live. I was like, if some shit goes down, like,

The gigglers tell me. I don't need... I can get the gist. Yeah, no, I can't watch. I can't watch myself in any interview setting, which is so interesting. I get, like, nervous for you, too. Yeah, I get so nervous. And I, like, know how your brain works, so, like, watching you answer the question, I would have gotten, like, stressed the fuck out. Yeah, because it's... Okay, it's also very scary when someone's asking you a question and, like, you don't know what the question is and you only hear...

You hear like the first five words. So you start thinking about the answer for like the first part of the question. And then you realize like there was there's a B portion to that. And I just disregarded it because I don't have the brain capacity. Watch What Happens Live is literally like 22 minutes. So there's no time to be like, Andy, can you re-explain that? You just have to guess. No, I just guessed. Let's discuss what it's actually like being on Watch What Happens Live. We've both never been on it for reals. Like in the studio. Yeah, like in the studio.

We'll manifest that shit. But what was it like doing your first virtual WatchOpens live? I was fucking terrified. I was so nervous. My mom did watch and said some of the games she felt like you and Luke didn't understand what the games were.

i was so nervous and then you were giving like one word answers i legitimately was you were like maybe i was like i don't know um i was so happy that i was actually was on with luke because yeah i couldn't imagine have been being almost like a legitimate celebrity i would have peed my fucking pants i was like at least i know this was on the flight attendant page

No, but you know what I mean. I was like, at least like I know this guy. Like, but if I was on my first time, I did it was with Lindsay and a comic and it was like easier. Like it felt like I was. Yeah. Like sometimes he has crazy people on. Like imagine if it was just me and like Sandra Bullock. I'd be like, what the fuck? Well, they're definitely strategic with like the partnerships they pick. They think that I can just be with Southern Charm guys. Yeah.

I would love to be with a Southern Charm guy. Okay, anyway. No, but also what people don't talk about is, yeah, they, you don't get any prep for the questions and you can't even ask, like, hey, can I get the questions before me? Because they're like, no, we're Bravo. Like, no.

This is going to be hilarious. No, keep it moving. And then Andy, like you want to impress him so fucking bad. He's like the dad who is super busy that like you want to get his attention. Yeah. And you know he likes you, but you just don't feel like you deserve his love. I was so nervous. I was like, if as long as he just doesn't tell me that he absolutely hates me, I'm good.

I wish we were on it together. I know that would have crushed it. We would have started vibing. Andy would have been giggling. We would have been giggling with Andy. Yeah. My thing is if I can get Andy to laugh once, I'm good for the year. If I can like get a giggle out of him.

I'll retire. Put it on my LinkedIn. I'm done. You know? I thought you were going to say put it on my tombstone. Put it on my tombstone. I made Andy Cohen laugh. That's what she accomplished. But I mean, he works so hard. Like he does his radio Andy in the morning, then does the show. But he like rolls in for it. No, like absolutely rolls in. Yeah. Like he comes out from. And he's so good at it that he's just like, okay, let's get going. Here we go. And I'm just like, wait, are we going?

Yes. Yeah. And also the teleprompter is fucking hard. Like I've been doing it with chat room, but this teleprompter is not like a teleprompter for news because there's actually like humor and sarcasm in it. So if you're just reading it straight, you miss the joke. So like I've once read some of his lines for Watch Robbins Live just like as a practice for like tech practice for chat room. And I fucked the whole thing up. It's so funny.

It's all like witty remarks. It's hard. It's hard. You can't read it straight out. Anyway, he's just we have a lot of respect for that motherfucker. The teleprompter is literally the only thing I could do well in college. Like all during college. Like any class I took for communications, like I fucking was horrible. The only thing I could do kind of good was read off the teleprompter. And they're like, this is crazy because you can't really read. And I was like, no, I know. I don't know what's happening.

right yeah they're like we don't even know if you really got in here you just keep showing up you don't

don't even I don't go to this college oh my god that's so oh my god I was on the train the other day coming home from my parents house and these two like college kids got on the train too and they were like a couple seats away from me and like I feel like I'm so I mean I'm not like so old but like I'm 28 so like when I see a college student I'm like you're a baby so like I wasn't even I was not looking at these guys because they're

I could have birthed them basically. And so I'm like the train pulls into the station and I get up and I'm like looking for my AirPod case because I can't find it. I'm like flipping seats. I'm like moving my suitcase. I'm like, I don't care. And this kid lost your AirPod case every two seconds. Did you even have an AirPod case? Yeah. Did you even buy them? The conductor came over and like helped me. He was like, looks like you need help. I was like, in what? You're like, don't you have a job to do? In what sense of the word, sir? Who's job?

Who's driving the train?

Wait, so what did the kid tell you? So the kid goes, hey. And I look at him and I'm just like, like what? And he goes, what college? Like you go to college in Albany? And I was just like, I mean, I did. And he was like, he was like, he like looked at me confused. I was like, sir, I'm 28 years old. I've graduated. Like, and then I started to feel like a mom because I was like, where do you go? And he was like, you Albany. And I was like, and do you like that?

What are your favorite classes? And I was like, are you just here for the weekend? And then at the end, I was like, okay, be careful. Have so much fun. They were probably like, that chick was fucking weird. Whatever. So, like, I still got it because the college kids think I'm one of them. Yeah, I was about to say, like, I've been in that situation where people are like, so what school do you go to? And I'm like, you just made my day. Thank you. But also, like...

When I was in college, I had such a baby face. Like I looked like a baby. Yeah, I was a child. Okay, we have so much front page news to get to. So much. Shall we? Let's delve in.

Can we talk about the cereal debacle? Okay, let's do it. Because I saw it and then I saw it took a turn for the worst. And then I messaged you just being like, hey, this has gone above my pay grade. Are you following this? And you were like, of course, honey. Sit down. Put your phone down. When I first read it, I was like, oh my God. Sometimes in front page news, I like to have like a little cheeky story. That's not, you know, it's not really crazy, but it's just like some fun.

fun some fun news to bring up at a dinner party like hey did you hear about this and there's no controversy you don't have to worry about offending anyone it's all good

So when I saw this story, I was like, oh my God, Jensen Karp. It's a palate cleanser. Yeah. So this guy's name is Jensen Karp and he's married to Topanga, Danielle Fishel. Yeah, because at first we didn't know that he was married to her and we didn't know that he was like kind of a producer comic. But at first he was just... I had no idea that he was a producer comic. So he puts out this thing about Cinnamon Toast Crunch that he found shrimp tails that were like...

coated with the cinnamon toast crunch like in his cereal general mills had put out something like we're so sorry for this whatever my stance was like cinnamon toast crunch captain could come to my house and punch me in the face and i'm still not canceling that fucking cereal like they could do anything cinnamon toast crunch is the taste you can see and you can you could see on those shrimp tails that shit was popping it was glistening that shit probably tastes good yeah but

The thing is, also General Mills, there was some controversy because their poor social media girl who was...

forced to be responding by like whatever she was hearing above was like those are just sugar clusters and he responded kind of like a dick but like it was it made sense he was just like you need to believe the customer and these are clearly shrimp tails like don't tell me I'm wrong when I'm trying to help you with an issue that other people could be having it's just you're either getting like buried cremated tossed around the world or you're going into like a cinnamon toast crunch box I'm

I'm picking a Cinnamon Toast Crunch box. You know? Like, when I die, coat me in sugar, throw me in there. I go, why is this really long skinny finger coated with Cinnamon Toast Crunch? It looks like a size four. So he's putting out all these tweets, whatever, all over the place.

sudden shit just really turns for him ex-girlfriends start tweeting people that he used to work with started tweeting girlfriends that he dated said that he's like the most manipulative like misogynistic just like the worst fucking human people that worked with him were just like no he's such a liar and he is so calculating that he probably made this up to tweet about

And there's like a term for it. Yes. What is it? There's a term that like if you go viral, you go viral and you like if you tweet something like and you kind of get famous. But then all of the sudden people just like turn on you. Milkshake ducked is like there's a term when like the tide suddenly turns. So people just like.

Don't fuck with this guy. I don't understand any logic behind the milkshake duck term, but I love that name. And it sounds like my next DJ name if I ever became a DJ, milkshake duck. And then the lead vocalist for Linkin Park. Remember Linkin Park? The only reason I really remember Linkin Park is because OPI used to have a color and it was called Linkin Park After Dark. And I wore that nail polish color every single day in high school. That was the girliest thing I've ever heard you say. I love their Jay-Z collab.

OPI? No. Oh, Linkin Park. You're like, if it's not about nail polish, I don't want to know. Wait, that was literally the girliest response I've ever had. I know. Wait, Jay-Z did a collab with OPI, but it was amazing. I didn't see that. Why don't more celebrities do collabs with OPI?

Celebrities doing nail polish Collabs I'm manifesting that for myself Manifest it Manifest it Yeah Like Get their People to talk to your people Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait wait Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait let let do a spring line let do a spring line or or nail colors or at or at least or at least a gale or at least a gale or at least a gale or at least a gale or at least a gale or at at at

They're like, hey, this is ballet slipper. And we're like, no, it's not. We'll see you in court. OK, I think whoever's job it is to come up with nail polish names has won the lottery. Like if I just have to sit there all day, you just come up with things that don't make sense. But also have a question. How did it's called ballet slipper pink, right? No, just ballet slippers. Oh, ballet slipper. How did ballet slipper become the color of every girl?

Like, who decided that? Because I missed that memo. Here's the thing. I feel like girls have this, like, telepathic universal where we're just like, this is our color. This is what we're doing. This is... And you just know. Because I was getting my nails did the other day and some girl was like, do you guys have ballet slipper? And I was like...

Everyone forgot to tell me about this. Everyone knows ballet slippers. Wild. It's crazy. That's why I'm saying when I was in high school, one time I was at a dinner party with my high school boyfriend and his parents. And his dad was a doctor. And so they had like their doctor friends over and like their wives. And I'm like a little idiot child who's like a sophomore in high school. And the girl next to me said, oh, your nails look so nice. And I went into a full 10 minute conversation with this woman about how the name of it was Linkin Park after dark.

And... Okay, this is just becoming a pattern in your life. I don't think this is a quarantine thing. If someone asks Paige about anything she's wearing, she will give you a full thesis statement. And my boyfriend at the time's dad, who's like this big surgeon, just looks at me and is just like... Like, does his... Like, his fingers over his lips. He told you to shut up. Going on and on and on. Typical surgeon. I'm like, what, you think you're better than me because you save lives? And I was just like, no, you're actually right because I sound like...

Idiot.

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Wait, so how do you feel right now if you're Topanga where your husband had like a fun viral moment and then suddenly everyone who's ever known him is like, hey, we hate him. Do you ever date a guy who you have like some relationships you love being out with them and some relationships you love like the one on one? Yeah. And have you ever had that one on one relationship? And then one time you go outside and you see him with other guys and you're like, wait, I'm dating a beta bitch. Yeah.

Hannah. And you didn't know. Hannah. There are so many times where I'm just like, oh, so you're not the coolest one in your friend group. And like they make fun of you and like you listen to what they say and you're not the one calling. If you're not the one calling the shots.

Get out of my DMs. Absolutely out of my DMs. But I've dated guys because other people love him. Yeah. And I realize I hate him. You know, we haven't seen her since, I don't know, the 90s. Yeah, we don't know Topanga. We don't really know Topanga. But there is something to be said. Like, she was so famous. And maybe, like, maybe there's something deeper there that this is why she didn't go on to, like, do more acting things. You know? Because, like, you know, have you ever been in a relationship where...

It's so bad that other things in your life you just don't care about and they've fallen apart. I dated a guy one time and when I tell you I didn't care if I got fired or not because all I cared about was this relationship with this man that I didn't focus on anything else. And you get in this warp of toxicity. Yeah, you're not in the mindset to see him clearly because he's on such a pedestal that...

You're blinded. Blinded. And like I had a great job and like all I cared about was texting him all day long and like would just fuck up at my job. Like I was almost fired and I was just like, I don't care. I'm marrying this man and I love him. Also, I told...

Des about the story and he and he was like asking too many details like he was like well like what kind of shrimp or whatever and I was like it's not important but then he I was like also the bag was like tampered like it was an opened bag and he was like so it was clearly tampered like it's not like they're shipping out fish tails like it was open did you see that like it was opened and taped right so like

Clearly it was tampered with whether it was someone else or him. So like I feel bad that Cinnamon Toast Crunch. But then again, is all press good press? Like do you remember Chipotle like almost killed multiple people with diarrhea and they're still thriving? Thriving and like also still true, you know, like still true. I still have diarrhea.

Like I can't I There's so many times That I'm craving Chipotle But like I'm hanging out With a guy And I'm just like No we can't get that We can't get it That's why it sucks Being with a guy Because you can't just Eat Mexican Whenever you want No you

You can never eat Mexican. You lose that freedom. You have to really know that guy to be like, do you want to throw down some fucking tacos together? Because both of us are going to be shitting ourselves. I'm in a weird place in my relationship where I'll actually let him know how my poop went.

that like you're still avoiding the poop talk i literally like just now before this pod i walked out and i go wow that was a fun quick poop as far as like my man's are concerned my man's are concerned i don't poop never have never well don't know what it is as far as my man's are concerned all i do is poop he's like hey can you fit me in in between poops today

Really? Perry is the only boyfriend that I've ever been like, dude, I'm going to shit myself. I gotta go. That's the moment that I realized it was over. I was going to get picked up on an article at the moment Paige knew she was done with Perry. And it's just about you shitting the whole time. But I did talk to Nikki Glaser about this once. And I hate that we always get back to poop talk. But it's very important because it's an integral part of our life. Is that there's something about a girl telling another girl she has to poop where you like

feel like she's being vulnerable slash super confident in herself and you connect with her like i connect with girls by exposing my poop thoughts you know i've been out with my girlfriends before i'm like my one girlfriend she's like when we go on trips if we go anywhere that isn't new york city she's bound up like you can't figure it

So like when I first met her, like one of our first, like when we first started our friendship, one of our first trips away together, she was like, look, hey, I got to go to CVS because I have to buy all the ex-lacks that they have. And I'm bound up. I can't like poop when I'm anywhere. So that was like our first. And I was like, oh, my God. Yeah, like I'll go with you. And I was like, you have to be strategic on when you take it. Like we can't be out at the club and I can't have you popping off in the back.

And it brought our friendship so much closer in that moment because I didn't really know her that well, but it was like, okay, I know this vulnerable thing about you and we need to, if the boys ever found out, I got your back. You're throwing up. You're not in the bathroom shitting it. When I first met Nikki Glaser, we had both dated the same comic and it was super awkward, but she invited me to her Netflix...

party oh my god pre-covid and i got there and i just know like i wanted to let her know like girl i'm on your side yeah like we both fucking hate him but like i don't think she knew so i like get up to the table and she sees me and i see her and the first thing out my mouth was sorry i'm late i had to take a nervous poop yeah and like we were like besties ever since then there's something about like when the girls are for the girls like

You just kind of look at your friend. You're just like, I fuck with you. One time I was at a party and I was like simping over this guy. Like I was so obsessed with this guy. And this way, can you define simping for anyone who does not know what simping means? Okay. Simping is like something that the Gen Zers are saying. And it's like, yeah, you've been hanging out with college. I've been hanging out on that train. So those college kids, how long did you talk to the boys? Those college kids from the train now live with me in my home.

Simping is like you just like you're you do whatever for this guy like you're a doormat like you just simp over them like you will do anything they ask you you don't care. So I'm literally simping over this guy at a party who I'd like previously hooked up with and this girl that I don't know who is now one of my very good friends came up to me and she goes hey.

Can I say something to you? And I... Like, immediately, if a girl comes up to me, it's like she's got to give me some gossip or, like, she's got to let me in on something. So I'm automatically... I'm like, yes, say whatever you need. And she goes...

I see what's going on here and you're way too good for him. He did the same exact thing to me. And I'm telling you, it's not real. This is who he is as a person. You deserve so much better. Look at you. Like, do not care that this guy is with some blonde chick over there. And I looked at her and I go, wow.

Fucking thank you. She's been one of my friends ever since. Ever since I did like some random ass party. Okay. And that's where I think we need to address something about girls supporting girls. Yeah. Let's just appreciate Sierra for a second. Yes. Let's have a Sierra appreciation moment. Firstly, I just want to tell people Sierra walked in with a cat ring. I didn't just harass her about my cat.

She had a cat ring on. Was I overly excited she had a cat ring? Mm-hmm. I watched that. Do I have issues when it comes to loving cats too much? Yes. But she equally was obsessed with cats, and that's when I knew, like, regardless what happens, I know that she is going to be a special person in my life. You're like, no, she's my maid of honor. Regardless what happens, I'm going to ask her, how is Jasper? You literally look at me, and you're like, bye. Bye.

See ya. I don't care about you anymore. She owns a cat. And I'm like, pop off. We were immediately just like talking about our cats and loving our talk. She was giving... Like, she was full on giving me details about Jasper and I was giving her details about Butter and we were equally... Like, no one wants to see your cat's pic, but when you find someone who does want to see your cat's pic, you're like...

The world makes sense now. Like, Sierra would never be like, hey, do you want to see a picture of Jasper to me? I'd be like, Sarah, get the fuck out of here. She sends me random pictures of Jasper. Like, we'll FaceTime our cats. Like, Jasper goes on and Butter goes on. It's really crazy. So anyway, there's been, like, people are mad that we did not fight over Luke. People are pissed. And then people like to blame the girl for somehow, like, making it worse.

That like Sierra didn't like. No, like could you imagine if you were just like so fucking mean to Sierra and then like people would be like you bitch. But like you're you guys are like legitimately friends and like cool and people are like fuck you. No, like it's so weird. You she's manipulating you Sierra and she's like by being overly nice to me and showing me photos of her cat. So I was thinking about this concept yesterday.

And I wrote something on Instagram. And I want you to tell me your thought. Are you frozen or are you just not listening? You're not listening to me. Who were you texting? I was, like, waiting to see if, like, this guy had texted me because I was like, sorry, fell asleep last night. But, like...

See if he texts me back, but he hasn't. But I know he's up. It's 1045. Anyhow, keep going. Anyhow, on Instagram, I know you already saw this, but I said for Summer House Watchers, I've been thinking about the concept of a girl who just met another girl being able to manipulate her to not like a dude. If I had a crush on a dude, he could have no job, zero personality, been arrested, collect reptiles, treat his mom like shit, and then

have a couple bodies in his basement, and my best friend could still not manipulate me to not want to be with him, especially if he's above six feet. What do you think of that? If I have fallen in love with you, you can't tell me anything. You cannot tell me anything.

I have fallen in love with men where my friends and my mom collectively have had interventions with me. And it's literally that Dr. Phil TikTok. Like, this is your man? And they show you a picture. And it's like a literal homeless person. And she's like, that's my man. Like, that's my man. Like, I dated the worst person.

dude like stealing something from a grocery store and they go is this your man I'm like that's my man no you if I have have feelings for someone you couldn't say anything to me that I wouldn't I'm defending it you can't manipulate me into not

No girl would ever have the argument that you made another girl not like a dude. It's such a guy's argument because their brains... No, because it's also like your brain actually works in the opposite way. If my friend is coming to me, I have friends come to me all the time and they're like,

Oh my God. I don't know why you like him so much. Like he's not for you. Like all this. And like you, you're saying all of that to me and you're right. And I get it. But now in my brain, because you think it shouldn't work out or you think I shouldn't like him. Now I need to make my life's purpose that I marry him. Like now.

Now I'm waiting for him. Like, I will break up with people if he ever comes to me. Now I need to cut everyone out of my life to make it work for them. But also, like, I'm honored that, you know, certain people on the show could think that I'm so masterful with my manipulation. However, girl, if I could manipulate stuff, this summer would have gone a lot differently for me. Look, I'll say it once and I'll say it again. You're not that smart, Hannah. Yeah.

You're not that smart. Has anyone seen me complete a full sentence on this podcast? No. Also, it's so funny, too, how, like,

There's not one part of it where you see me sit Sierra down and be like, girl, don't be with him. And I'm pretty sure... Anyway, I'm not getting into the weeds with it. I literally did that to you last summer and you were like, no. You were like, hey, hey, hey. I had multiple people yelling at me to not hook up with the dude and I was like... You're like, hey, look at me. Look at me. I don't care. I said, say more and I'm having his babies. Say more. Okay.

really like stop betraying me i'm gonna go fuck this man thank you bye what pisses me off the most too is that sierra is so much smarter than everyone at that house so strong been through so much shit literally watched like saved people's lives but she's gonna be manipulated by my stupid ass who

Who's, who's, anyway. Sierra and I got drunk the other day and I literally like cried because I like told her how much I loved her. And she was just like, okay, calm down. There was a point where I was like, do I want to date Sierra? I feel like I, the same thing. I was like, should I break up with Perry for Sierra? I was like, am I upset because I'm jealous that I want to be with Sierra? Yeah.

You're like, I'm going to run it back to my therapist. I don't know what's going on here. I'm going to unpack that at a later date and leave this poor girl alone. Okay, let's do some more front page news. Yeah, sorry. My next story is Miley Cyrus has apparently relapsed during the pandemic and has started drinking again. Wait, I didn't know she was sober. I didn't either. She said, so I looked up. I was like, wait, when the fuck did she get sober?

Halfway into 26, she got sober. Then by 27, she was fully sober. And then during the pandemic, she fell off. But she had put out a tweet or it said something that she was like five weeks sober. And now she's been spotted out in L.A. drinking. And she's been getting close to this like, I think he's British pop or British star. And his name is Youngblood.

And let me show you a picture of Youngblood. But it's not spelled correctly. It's like Y-U-N-G, right? Yeah, and then it's like B-L-U-D, Youngblood. And here's a picture of him. I'm just showing Hannah because he's... Is that your mans? That's my mans. So this is who you want to be with? Yep. That's my mans. Do you ever have a theory? And I feel like it happens so many times that when you start seeing someone, you look like them.

A thousand percent. Like, have you ever seen that Instagram or whatever? And it's like dating or siblings. Yep. That's my favorite Instagram. It's one of my favorite Instagrams because I get it wrong every time. I'm like, there's no way these two are siblings. Yeah. I just feel like they kind of look alike. And I'm going to say an unpopular opinion and it might be controversial, but like I'm saying it. I don't stay on Miley Cyrus as much as like other people do.

why i don't know like i was like can can we have a little no and i really don't know because i like a lot of her songs like remember that one song that she when this was when she was like fucked up on drugs but what was that one song yeah the jays like no like got my jays on my feet yeah 23 yeah yeah that was a great like i fucking loved that song there's something about her

I'll take her or leave her. We both know Caitlin Carter, who is her ex-girlfriend. And I did have Caitlin Carter on Burning in Hell. Highly recommend you guys listen to that episode because she kind of opened up about what it was like. She gave some tea as what it's like to date Miley Cyrus.

And she basically was talking about how the breakup... Like, you guys should listen to the details. Yeah. Because I don't want to misquote her. But, like, the breakup was really hard because Miley's PR team really took over, like, the whole situation and bulldozed it.

And dating Miley Cyrus was not easy. Yeah, I would. But also like Miley Cyrus is a unique human. Like the girl's been famous forever and she comes from a famous family. And maybe I'm just jealous of her because she like lost her virginity to like Liam Hemsworth and then like married him, you know, like that. And I'm jealous of her because she's like besties with Dolly Parton. But that's my own issue. Yeah, that's our own things to work through. But like, OK, that's how I feel about it. Well, I think.

she's been through a lot and she's had a different stages and it's confusing but being a woman in the public eye is so fucking hard to like continually be likable when everyone's trying to tear you down is my mental health i get that i get that um okay let's do some more couples news so courtney kardashian and obviously travis barker have been oh

I mean, about the town. I'm fucking so about this couple. I love them so much. So they like didn't have any photos together. Then they posted like her hand on his hand. And then now they're fucking everywhere because people were like, we want to see photos together. I'm obsessed. What is this PR strategy? All they do is go out to lunch or go out to dinner. They're just fucking dope. Like, and it just looks like, you know, when you can

See a couple You know when you're Around a couple And you can feel Their energy And you're like Damn They really like each other And like they don't even Have to be doing anything But you're just like You can feel Like you're not even Talking at dinner Yeah and you're like Wow they really Like are in love

yeah that's how I feel when I look at pictures of them I'm just like wow I can feel that this is like a very real couple so basically he got a tattoo that says you're so cool and it's from this like Quentin Tarantino movie true romance I don't know if you've ever seen it it's a good movie I actually feel like I watched that on like a Netflix and chill night like a couple years ago with a guy but whatever anyway I digress

need to start saying I digress I think that's our new term because we go off on so many tangents and it's just like I need to digress this whole episode yeah I need to literally digress my life like anytime I speak in public please let me digress because I'm an idiot that should be your new Instagram bio I digress wow I can't wait to say it at brunch today

Also, okay, so anyway, so he gets this tattoo. So Shana, the ex-wife. Why is Shana so up in their shit? Wild out here. She comments back at people because they were like, oh, something about him getting the tattoo. And she was like, I literally like walk down the aisle to like one of the songs in that movie. And our daughter is named after like one of the characters. Yeah.

And it's just like maybe it's after the daughter and it's just for the daughter. Regardless, it's just like Shana. I'm going to need you to take it down a fucking notch. You've been divorced for over 10 years. What? It's been 10 years. Yeah. Have you did you watch the reality show?

I did when I, but like a billion years ago and I was just trying to put it in to perspective. That would be like right now if I called my high school boyfriend's new girlfriend or whatever and was just like, yo,

Absolutely fuck off. Like, they'd be like, you're an insane person. That song you guys were listening on the radio yesterday, we listened to in our first kiss. Could you imagine me calling sweet little Patrick Hussey, who we broke up at 18 years old, and I was just like, tell your girlfriend I fucking hate her. Like, that would be insane to me. It's like, stop listening to Lil Bow Wow ever. Shorty like mine? You don't even listen.

- I wanna know, fresh as the mist, what I did to shorty like mine with that man. Like, if we had a daughter, she'd be named Sierra because of that song. - Oh my God, okay.

I have thoughts. First of all, I like Travis because he's done reality TV. And there's still this BS that guys have being like, oh, you're on reality TV. And it's like, yeah, it's not. Crazy town. I mean, it is crazy. It's not normal. That's for sure. But because he's done it, he definitely has respect for the game she's in. Yeah. Further fucking more.

Scott Disick has been like in all these relationships that are just with these like young girls and I feel like he's rubbing it in her face and I don't know if I'm projecting that but I just get like annoyed because I feel like Courtney's just I just like yeah Courtney's just doing her own I get Courtney and Chloe confused they do their own she's doing her own thing she's not like trying to get back at him but now it's like she found something that seems real and I'm just like happy for her

For her Yes I feel like it feels Very real This isn't like a Getting back at Scott No It's like Scott You've been fucking with her Trying to get her attention For so long It seems like Through the media And now she finally Found something And people are like I feel bad for Scott Stop feeling bad For the dude Who fucked it up

feeling bad for a guy who cheated and hurt people and was not good enough for her so let's stop being misogynistic yeah i recently got into a fight i digress i digress

I recently got into a fight with like an ex-boyfriend of like years ago who like we had started like kind of like chatting a little bit. Like nothing's crazy, just like catching up, whatever. And then I got like a crazy text message from him just telling me that I was like the worst. And like and I was like, bro.

First of all, we broke up years ago. And the fact that you're... Wait, what was I saying? What were we saying? Well, it's just like, did he hurt you? Yes, oh, that's what it was. And I was just like, do not take it out on me that you were horrible to me when we dated. You realize now that you fucked up and lost me and you're frustrated. Like, that's not my fault. It's not my fault. So like...

when I find something real like you can't be mad at me you fucked up so like Scott you had her for years when you and she wanted you to act right and you couldn't do it and now that you're at a place in your life where you realize like you fucking love her and you would marry her tomorrow yeah I

bet you would I bet you would but like now she's with someone who is so perfect for her like there are similar ages they're both in the public eye have been for fucking years know like what it's like to be on reality TV they both eat like some vegan bullshit that's the other thing

That's the other. This is one thing I don't like about him. He posted like vegan sushi and I was like, that's not vegan sushi. It's vegetables like rolled up. Like it's not vegan. It's not sushi. It's rabbit food in a roll. You're literally eating cucumbers and like carrots rolled up in seaweed. It's not sushi. Okay.

But Paige, it's very hard, as you know, with social media for us to know what a relationship is really like. But there is something to be said for people who have those similar things that are blaringly just like they're vibing at a vegan restaurant. That's awesome. You don't just get from a random dude. Look, I wish I could vibe at a vegan restaurant the way they do. I'll vibe at the local pizzeria like that.

I do have to say, though, like, there's been lots of times in my life, like, for example, when I was seeing that hockey dude and then my friend hooked up with him and I was like, you're dead to me now. But then they fell in love and got married. And I was like, wait, I am so sorry. But I literally, like, who thought that would have happened? But I was like, I never have, I don't have a bad negative energy towards her in my body because it's like, they were meant to be together. And I also feel like that, like, even this summer, like,

If Ciara and whatever dude she had feelings for or wanted to be with had this incredible connection that was just so beautiful and they were, like, clearly meant to be, like, yes, I'm so about that. Because it clearly, like, I was, it was not healthy for me. Yeah. But, like, that's not what happened.

I always like wonder like the guy that I'm meant to be with. Have I just like totally embarrassed myself in front of him? And I have I told him to fuck off a million times. Paige, how many times I have to tell you this mental health moment number two. If it's meant for you, you cannot fuck it up. Like it's literally like magnets. You can put anything you want in between them. But like your energies are going to find each other. Yeah, he's out there somewhere. I can't wait to punch him in the face when I meet him. Be like, where the fuck have you been, my dude?

Just challenge him. Also, I do have to bring up that Madonna's been accused of photoshopping her face on a fan's body. This is one of the craziest things I've ever seen. Did you look it up? I looked at the picture, yeah. Yeah, like it's legit a fan's... Can we talk about something? Let's talk about Madonna.

Actually, Des was telling me about Madonna because that was more his time. And he was like, Hannah, you know how like everyone's famous now? He's like, Madonna was the one. Like she was the, like she was bigger and larger and bigger than anything. Like her level of fame. And that's got to be, I mean, talk about like the dopamine hitting. That's got to be crazy when you feel like it's falling off. Yeah.

That's one thing that I got from the Justin Bieber vlogs that he did with Hailey Baldwin where he basically was like, I can't ever hit those highs that I had. And like daily life just like doesn't do it for me. Oh my God. That makes me so sad for them. Everyone's like obsessed with them. And it's like clearly like being Justin's wife or girlfriend is very difficult. And like Hailey has it in her and Hailey's like,

She's like caretaker vibes, you know? This is even like... I mean, this is on no level or scale at all. But when we went to BravoCon that one time, I was like, oh my God. It was such a pinch me moment. But I was like, oh my God. I wonder what real singers and celebrities feel like when they're...

like playing for a crowd of like a hundred thousand people and people are just screaming their name because they're like singing i was like that has to be insane because i'm watching like someone scream like stassi's name and like what you know like what does that feel like and then it's like do you chase that high yeah like i got nervous you know yeah that's it

I was like, I don't like this. You're like, I don't know who Paige is. I'm like, I don't know her. I don't know her. But like, yeah, once you feel that, it's probably...

And also Madonna is now like she's aging. But it goes back to like, let's get back to like embracing women aging gracefully. Let's go back to like being gorgeous and like having gray hair. And like it's all just society. Like if we normalize it, it's not a big deal. I mean, look at Cher. We're.

Yes, I mean, she's gotten a lot done to be there. But it's like, do you ever just look at the news and there's tons of men with gray hair and not one woman with gray hair? Yeah. Like, we just have to normalize it and then it won't be so fucking insane for a woman to have, like, her face move when she's above 60. No, guys literally are the most disgusting creatures. Like, they're disgusting. No, they're just disgusting. Like, sometimes I look at guys and I'm like, ew, like...

Okay, I get it. Like, we made the dad bod a thing. We did that for you guys because we didn't want you to feel insecure. Okay? But, like, I gained 10 pounds because I'm starting a new birth control and all of a sudden I'm freaking out. You know? It's just, like, there's such a double standard and I'm so sick of it. And that...

is the moral of the episode i digress that there's double standards in this world but we're fighting them day after day and um check out our merch if you have not shopped the merch we the the reaction's been wild it's insane see you in court is coming out soon i digress might have to be on it i'm kind of loving i digress i love the gigglers

We love you guys so much. Check out Burning in Hell if you want some more content. Follow us on Instagram, Giggly Squad, Paige Asorbo, Being Burns. Watch Summer House. Have an amazing week. And we love you guys so much. Bye. Can you say thanks for giggling? Thanks for giggling. Thanks for giggling with us. You've won, Joc. Bye.

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