Giggling about scammers, cults, and couples costumes
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my gigglemeisters? Whoa. I think I did that one. You've used that one. Yeah. No, you've used that one before. I had one, but I lost it. It's somewhere in my notes. That's okay. I want to say hello from Paige, me, and my pimple on my forehead. Let me see. Can you see it?

yep sure can does that one hurt it hurts so bad it's i can feel it in my brain so i'm in los angeles oh my god is it and it's probably so much more annoying having a pimple in la because there's so much judgier no no la did this to me i bet no i wake up and i'm like i'm gonna do a facial

And I tried to find a good facial and I found this place. So I didn't realize that it's like just the laser. Yeah. So I get in and they just start like lasering my shit. And you're like, hello. Like, oh, I came here to relax. No, they're,

Yeah, no, it's not like relaxing. So they're lasering me and they go, yeah, this is going to take a couple sessions to see the effects, but you might get some purging. Yeah. And I'm like, what? I was like, am I going to like puke out of this place? What's happening? And they were like, no, like the toxins are going to come out. So you might have a breakout. Oh, you've never had a purging fate. Oh, you've never been on like skin pills. No. Oh, yeah. It's a whole thing. So you should have texted me before.

I have arguably the biggest comedy show of my life tonight. Me and my pimple are meeting Jay Leno. Oh my God. And it's kind of fucked up because I've worked really hard to get to this place. My pimple shows up last minute. And you have really good skin. Like you never have a pimple. Thanks.

glowing yeah I was glowing to the point that I'm like am I pregnant I was glowing and was like I just need an upkeep like I just want a relaxing facial from flying a lot you know what I mean yeah like I genuinely don't know the last time like if I've ever seen you with like a pimple I mean forehead pimples brings me back to like getting bullied in sixth grade wow I'm really sorry so that's my update

In other news, my skin is positively glowing. It does look good. It does look good. You went to a football game. Are you okay? Did you lose a bet? What happened? Okay, I don't know what's going on with me, but...

I don't want to jinx it, but every professional sport I go to, they win. So I don't know if it's me or if it's them. I will say this. This is now my second professional NFL football game, whatever. When you're watching sports on TV, it's so easy to be like, idiots, like run, like just fucking run the ball.

When you're in person, you're like, athletes. Those are athletes. You see how big they are. Yeah, you see how big they are. You see how big the field is. In no situation am I running that into. How big do you think the field is? I'm not playing hopscotch. No, I knew it was big.

But it's just like every time you see it, you're like, whoa. Yeah. Yeah. I want to go to a basketball game with you. That's legit. Because those are large. We need to get some type of plug that can get us courtside for one game. Because courtside is not about the game. Courtside is a fashion. Yeah. New York City. And I've had this debate in my head. It's been going on for years. Never once have I sat courtside. But the debate in my head is, do I go for

For a full heel moment? Yes. Or do I go for like a cool leather pants sneakers moment, like a Hailey Bieber vibe? Or am I going full like, like, did you see Adele courtside? That's what you go with. Yeah, that's what I think. Adele came in being like, I could own this team. Yeah, that's, she literally looked like the owner of the team. She looks great. But then part of me is like, do the most successful people dress? Are they low key? Yeah.

the low key is like I like how John McEnroe shows up just like in a hoodie like he just went to the bodega I heard a thing that I don't know if it's true that Jerry Seinfeld refuses to wear anything but sneakers because he says he's successful enough to not have to wear anything but sneakers do you remember when Jerry Seinfeld snubbed Kesha I vaguely do remember that basically Kesha wanted to hug Seinfeld and he was like no thank you like on camera

They were at like a red carpet, right? Yeah. And he was like, no, like fully like, okay, crazy fan. Yeah. How did security let you in? Everyone was like, that's Kesha. And he was like, great for her. Don't know her. Kesha invented TikTok. Okay. So I'm in LA, but you guys, I'm newly in LA. Yeah. I have not been transformed. I'm still an angry New Yorker and I'm walking everywhere with my

Rolly bag, which is social suicide anywhere and my backpack and it says like my hotel is seven minutes away Walking i'm not calling an uber right little did I know that?

Los Angeles has these random hills. Yeah, they do. They sure do. Like straight vertical. And I start going. I have to take breaks. It's a whole thing. Turn the corner. Run into Nima from Shaw's. No way. I'm sweating profusely, black on black, with a rolly bag. And he's just standing outside a brunch place. And he's like, what are you doing?

It takes a lot to embarrass me, but what are the chances? What are the fucking chances?

Like, not only that he was at that restaurant, but standing in my walk line. No, like people would die to run into him or you. And like, there had to have been some girl that just was watching this interaction happening. So I did. I was walking so long that I did get a couple of DMs. People being like, hey, I just saw you on Last Sienega. Are you okay? Yeah.

No, L.A. is weird. And when I tell you I'm disgusting, like, disgusting. And I'm laughing. But Nima did the most Nima thing ever. I was like, I have to take it into story. And he was like, he didn't have his hair, like, perfectly coiffed. Yeah. Because he was at Heather Ray and Tarek El Moussa's wedding the night before. Okay. So he was like, don't put me on the story. And I was like, okay. The most Nima thing I've ever heard in my life. I love him, and he has such main character energy. Yeah.

Main character energy, but also like great sidekick to like any girl with main character energy. Like he was on the phone with MJ when I got there. Like he's so supportive and he's just like everyone's like hype man. I feel like. Shaz does not portray him as,

Accurately enough. As hot as he is. They don't portray him for how hot he is. I don't think people know how tall he is. He is very tall. He's also low-key hilarious. Like, very, very funny. This is a Nima stan pod. Yeah, we stan him. He has swag, too. He has a good, like, he dresses well. This is the thing. On Shaz, they have enough douchey guys on the cast that they, like, really push him towards

towards nice guy energy like they need one sweet guy and not that he's not sweet but he's just not as like he's not as of a pushover exactly like he's not oh god anyhow there's a lot of dogs here that think they're better than me which is annoying so what so what's the situation now will you walk again is the question i don't know

The only time people walk in LA is to their car. And you know your girl doesn't even drive. So we're in a predicament. We're in a kerfuffle. I have a question for you because I recently had to read. If you're watching our Patreon, I'm. We want you. We're having a point down. Since you don't have a driver's license, what is your form of identification?

Um, why don't you worry about your own shit? Because Paige has her phone open like because I need to make a citizen's arrest right now because no, I have an identification card. So it has your picture on it. Yeah. And I wasn't ready for my picture. I had to go to the DMV on Friday. Sorry about that. Yeah. But I went in Albany. So it wasn't like that bad. Oh, my God.

So I first of all, I was like traumatized by my mother beforehand because I came I came downstairs and in true like mom fashion, she looked at me and she was like, that's that's what you're going to wear to go renew your driver's license picture. And I go, mom, it's neck up. Your mom is you and you're me. It all makes sense now.

I was like, it's literally neck up. And she was like, yeah, but like, oh, man. Photofu sense energy. Yeah. It was like, yeah, but I'm just not loving the whole aura, the whole vibe. Those shoes. Really? She did say that. She was like, I think they're cute, but like.

She just wasn't having the whole thing. Okay? So she's already in my head now. And she's like, I mean, it's eight years. So just be cautious of that. I get in the car. Like, we're about to pull out of the garage. And I go, well, should I put a lash on? She goes, I mean, I was waiting for you to bring it up. You are savage, Kim. I know you're listening. He's hysterically laughing. Also being like, people go to therapy about this bitch. Okay.

So I run upstairs. I throw on a fucking lash. I get to the DMV. I'm up at the counter, like, about to take the picture. I take the picture, and I'm like, hey, do you think I can see it? Yeah.

Like you're taking an Instagram photo. Yeah, I just want to say, they can redo it. You're like, can you go a little higher? A little higher. Not as close. Not as close. Not loving this angle. Do you think we could get like a, can you do live photos? Does it have that option? I like to scroll through it. Do you do births here? Can you take like 26 of them and then send them to me? Let me edit. I'll send it right back. Send it to my mom too. Do you guys have the Tezza app? Yeah. Do you, um...

What filter at least put like... Paris. Yeah, at least a Paris filter. So I asked the lady, I'm like, can I see it? She's sitting behind full plexiglass. It's still fully COVID. But there's a mirror behind her. And she goes, just look in the mirror. Like at the computer screen. And I was like, okay, awkward. So my face...

literally up against the plexiglass. I'm trying to see in the reflection. And then she goes, um, any chance your dad's name is Gary? And I was just like so taken back because I'm trying to like see if I need to redo my picture. She clicks off the screen and I was just like, um, yeah, it is. But like not what we're talking about right now, ma'am. Anyway, she went to high school with my dad. I have no idea if my picture is right. My mom is probably right. And I'm going to have a horrible ID picture for the next eight years.

This is just like my stand-up bit about when you spend time with your parents, you get a great refresh on things you forgot to bring up in therapy. No, let me tell you. I spent 48 hours at home and I was like, thank you for your services. I won't be going back. But it's weird. It like depends on your mood. Sometimes parents are the best and then sometimes you're like, you know, I function without you guys. Right. Like...

I'm making it happen. I'm doing my things. Like some weekends I'll go home and my parents like,

don't really care about me and then other weekends like do you want to do this and then we could go here and we can do this and like want to go to dinner and you're just like hey hey focus for a second I have to do things all week and like I have to see people I don't want to see and have conversations I don't want to talk to and like can I just lay on the couch for a full 48 hours like please let me rub the dog's head and fall asleep

owe your dog that you low-key think is fat so you don't put it on insta stories i don't low-key think he's fat he is fat but let me tell you something he's so fat okay this is a whole other thing that's happening at my household in albany he's like save me save me the dog is so fucking fat he can't even walk his hips give out okay and like he has

That's what happens. My dad goes, I don't know what's going on. We take him to the vet. They said everything's okay. We have him on a diet. Like, we're doing everything we can. My parents love the dog. They pick the dog. The dog doesn't even walk anywhere. They carry it everywhere. Then I'm sitting on the couch and I see my mom go into the refrigerator and take out cold cuts and just throwing it to the dog. I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, I'm giving the dog dinner. Salami. Pepperoni.

I go, you're giving him sliced turkey? Like, and you guys are wondering why he has a weight problem?

Every time the dog comes from inside, he gets a piece of turkey. She goes, can you give the dog a piece of turkey? He came inside. Prejude. Give him some prejude. I'm like, the dog doesn't need a... I go, he's playing, you guys. He literally steps outside, comes back in, goes right to the refrigerator. I'm like, oh my God, I can't. So I'm going to make you feel better about your parents right now. Okay, great. At least your parents aren't a sports family. Because when I go home... Okay.

My mom says, perfect. We have a tea time. No.

for 1 p.m. for the family. And when she says tea time, guys, golf is 18 holes. This is a full five-hour event. And I'm like, Mom, I love you guys, but I'm not trying to give, like, five hours of my day to playing golf. And she's like, oh, it's okay. Like, you could play tennis if you want, which is another hour and a half event, which none of it has involved a couch yet. And at what age did you think about emancipation?

And then when I just sit on the couch, they're like, well, we just played 10 hours of golf and you're still sitting on the couch. No. What is what at what age? I want to know at what age do you no longer love napping? Because let me tell you something. I don't think I will ever be the kind of adult that's like, don't sit on the couch. What is up with parents not wanting to just sit on the couch for a second? It is true that meme where it's like date a tired girl because she will never cheat on you.

Literally the sleepiest. Doesn't I? He's in Ireland right now, so there's an eight-hour time difference. So he, like, goes to bed when I'm waking. Like, it's kind of weird. Yeah. Anyway, I was like, I'll text you after this podcast. I'll give you all the deets. I know you're going to sleep. You'll wake up with a text from me. Yeah. Let's just say I fell asleep at 7. Yep.

woke up briefly at 11 didn't know if it was a.m. or p.m. gun to my head if you were like is it a.m. or p.m. I'd be like I don't know fell right back asleep have a call from him being like what happened like you brought it up that you're gonna send me this nice text and I'm like like he's what does he think like I'm cheating on him I'm partying and I'm like I fell asleep

Sometimes I think Craig thinks I'm lying. He's like, but you woke up from a nap two hours ago. I'm like, yeah, what of it? And napped again. The world has flown by during my naps and couldn't be happier. Oh, God. So that was a nice little catch up. Other new concept. Yeah. People are very into being sober curious right now.

Okay. Just kind of like Gwen Stefani's conscious uncoupling. Um, I asked about it. What did I say? Gwen Stefani. Close though. They're both blonde. You guys knew what I meant. Yeah, they did. So I was like, Des, what do you think about being sober curious? And he's like, and I'm like, like going to the bar and not ordering a drink. And he's like, that's,

Been a thing forever People are just trying To name it something That's just called Going to the bar Not drinking Stop rebranding everything America Yeah exactly Not everything Needs a rebrand But it made me think About like my friend groups And how I have some groups That are like If you're not partying tonight I'm not seeing you Yeah And I have some groups Who are like If you're partying Like I'm on a full health kick It's like Dom Like your friend Dominique Got like really healthy And I feel like you Spent less time with her At night because of that But like what if We could unite the two What if it's

there's like a health room of juices and then like another or like some meditation and then another room for like screaming and drinking. Yes. I, okay, but here's the thing. If I'm not drinking, like,

For a specific reason, really the only reason I don't drink is sometimes it's like I'm on antibiotics. I can't drink. I thought you were going to say Ambien. I'm like, okay. Definitely don't drink on Ambien. But if you do stay up 15 minutes, it's a whole day. Never mind. Just go to sleep as soon as possible. But if I'm not drinking...

because of something i am that person that's not going out because it is painful for me to be around sober people and not be drinking so like then i will just be around drunk people yeah yeah that's what well um yeah i can't be around drunk people if i'm not also drunk or like immediately get mad so i'm one of those people that's like if i'm not drinking like why do i need to be at a bar

Yeah, my thing when I'm not drinking is like I don't have the energy. Yeah, like I don't care. Have you ever tried flirting when you're sober with a drunk person? Yeah, I literally did that like a couple weekends ago with Craig and he kept telling me to stop talking to him because he has a girlfriend. And I was like, I know, it's me. And he was like, stop talking to me and look at the sink.

What's going on? It was cute, but at the same time, so annoying. I was like, get in the Uber and shut your mouth. And Des is sober since he's 19. And I got a little wild and I ordered a sangria. Yeah. How often do you drink? Like never. Yeah. Like once a month you'll have a drink.

If I'm socializing, you'll have a drink. Got it. One or two. Yeah. I'm not the, I wouldn't do three, but I'll do two with the girls. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck it. Like, I love people who like drinking and getting, I like people who smoke weed. I get along with them. I'm just, well, because your brain level is naturally at, and we've said this all the time. Like we are simpatico when I'm fucked up. We've had some of our biggest revelations and I've been blacked out. Yeah.

when Paige is not in her right mind me and Paige are on the same level yeah we're like hmm that makes a lot of sense really well basically people always think I'm high because I don't stop eating and giggling yeah so I'm just like no Hannah literally Hannah tried to smoke weed one time oh my god it was like a movie like she started coughing and we were like it's enough the guy I was seeing at the time yelled at me and I was like this

She's like, is this how you do it? And we're like, absolutely not. It's not how you do it. I also missed my mouth. Like, I missed it. I don't know how to inhale. No, you don't. And people in my stand-up shows will give me weed after, and I'm like... And you've never smoked a cigarette.

No. Which is so crazy because you've lived in New York City like in the bar scene. I actually can't smell cigarettes. It like like I mean, I'll never be that person on the street that's like, oh, my God, don't do that. But like if I do smell smoke, I do have to turn my head because I will like immediately gag. You ever cough obnoxiously? All the time. So I had a sangria. Oh, yeah. And it was a large sangria. Yeah. It was a heavy pour. Mm hmm.

And I fall asleep in the drive home with Des. No. Like out. Out. 8 p.m. Out. And then we walk in the house and I get on the couch. Pass out. Out. And then he said he went up to me and was like, hey, do you want to go to bed? And I go, no, thank you. I'll come to bed. Don't come to bed. Wait, but I actually love that he left you there.

There's nothing. I love that he left me there too. There's nothing more annoying than sleeping on the couch and like your partner being like, come on, come on, come on. I'm like, shut the fuck up. You're very respectful. Also, he wakes up to no movement. He'll wake up to anything. And his excuse, he says it's because he's a hunter. What, with your other family? Because I've never heard you talk about hunting.

I will literally just move and he's like, sorry, I'm a hunter. But it's so annoying because then he like can't go back to sleep and it's the whole thing. And I'm like, it's not my fault that the air moved and you woke up. I didn't like bang a door. Sorry for literally breathing. He's like, babe, I'm just a hunter. Yeah. It's in my DNA. I'm hunting all the time. And like, that's crazy because you've never made one meal. Anyway, so I know. Then he knows.

I know I can't go back in the bedroom now because then I'll wake his inner ass up and it'll be a whole thing. You'll be shot. No, you'll literally get shot. So we do this thing sometimes where I just fall asleep on the couch. Yeah, I love it. And I want to normalize it because you know when you're like just not in the mood to sleep in your bed at night? Dude, when I'm having really bad anxiety, I actually can't sleep in my bed. It's a weird thing. I like sleeping on the couch.

I've had that too where like the couch is safe and like the bed you're almost afraid that if you go in a different place you'll get into like a new mindset trying to go to sleep you can have like bad memories and shit come up so you're like

Turn the TV, fall asleep. I have never really been that sweet, sweet girlfriend that's like, come to bed. Oh my God, come. I'll tell you one time because I'm going, but in my head, I'm like, I'd love if you stayed on the couch because I get the whole bed. Great night for me. I'm not going to leave you out there like a dog, but I'm not going to actively try and get you in the bed because what am I, your mom? No. Stay out there. Have the best time. Also, between me and you,

butter's not like the biggest fan of des yeah so when we're cuddling on the couch she looks at me like don't fucking call yeah she's like you're a hunter sure hunt this bitch he doesn't know that i'm going to kill him in his sleep just waiting for you guys to get in a fight and then i will save the day and i will claw his eyes out oh my god wow we laughed a lot yeah did you watch squid game

Here's the thing. I started it. But I hate watching shows on Netflix that are dubbed over because I legitimately cannot watch the words not match their mouth. But I can't sit and read subtitles because when I'm watching a show, that means I'm also on my phone. I'm catching up on things. Like I need something that I can look up at but be listening to and like and that I just couldn't do it with that. So no, I didn't really watch it.

too stupid to watch it's a bit squiggly you're like my brain could not i couldn't compute what was happening so i know you on netflix have you watched the final season of you sure did that's why on the shared note i put you netflix because i was like what if she opened what if

I was like, what if she opens the chair and no one just says you? We need to talk about you. I was like, oh my God, I don't want to panic. We have to address some stuff about your shit. You, yeah. What did you think of it? I binged it. Most season threes are not good. So I went into it being like, it's going to suck. Yeah. Not going to lie.

I was in it. I loved it. It got me. I love the memes that are like when my boyfriend doesn't answer the phone or something and it just shows love. I think she's crazy and I love her. Wait, did you watch Maid?

No, I haven't. Not yet. You should watch it. I'm afraid it's too like sad. Like, I don't care to watch sad. It's more or is it? Oh, no, it's heart wrenching. Like, well, I don't I'd rather watch funny or scary. Each episode is sadder than the next. I love I say I don't want to watch sad, but I love murder documentary. Yeah, you love murder. But I just really like the actress in it. Margaret Qualley. She did date Pete Davidson. She is dating him. No, she used to.

She looks just like Kazzy David. He has such a type. He does have a type. He has like fair skin, like, well, except for Ariana. Ariana, but Ariana has fair skin in real life. Right. She's spray tanned. Right. She's like my color. Yeah. She's Italian. Yeah. She's just, she's olive skin. She's just always with a fresh spray tan. Yeah. Yeah.

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash Giggly. Do I look like the girl from you because I've been getting harassed with DMs and I don't see it? No way. Let me look fast. Let me put my hair down. Yeah, you do have that type of look. Joe is such a like they make her the villain and you're like Joe's the real villain. Joe's the real villain. Yeah.

They're both murderers. Like, straight up. Okay, here's the thing, though. Joe always starts it. Joe will cheat on her and then get mad when she murders the girl he's cheating on her with. And it's like, well, don't cheat. Yeah, valid. But here's the thing. Joe's murder. This is like dating when you're 30. Okay, his murders, though. His murders are quick. His murders...

And he's so good at cleaning up. He's so good at tidying up. He's so efficient. He wants to give them the benefit of the doubt. He's really taking bad people out. And then there have been a few mishaps where it's just like, we didn't mean for that one. Love is straight up crazy and has like can't control her anger. Joe can always control his.

You are such a misogynistic bitch. I felt the feminism leaving my body as I was saying all of that. No, you're right. They're both psycho murders, but I'm proud of you. Season three. It was still good. However, it got me scared of getting married. Dude, right? No. Oh, because of the murder? Yeah.

Because they just hated each other when they got married. Yeah, and so quick. That's how I felt when I was watching Sex Life. I was like, is this what everyone's doing? Yeah, I think it's just that marriage is not part of the love story. The love story is before you get married, I think. And then marriage is an actual job. According to my calculations of being in a relationship for four days...

No, I feel like from everything I've like watched, we honestly we should like have some married couples on the pod because I'd love to know. I honestly feel like it goes in waves. Like, you know how people always talk about like the seven year itch when like most people, if they're going to get divorced, they do it at seven years. Here's where it's good. You're actually outsmarting the system because Des is older than you.

And so like he's not going to change Like he's set in his ways this is him You know this is him where I feel Like if you get married younger Like you could Really change like you could just Have some type of epiphany where you're just like I hate this person and like I'm leaving Which is like what I do in all my relationships But I almost feel like This is my second marriage I feel like that for You too which I love that for you Laughter

Like, Des has never been married before, but I feel like he could have. You're on your second marriage. Oh, my God. You live in Beverly Hills. You're on your second. You're just running into famous people on the street. Everyone thinks you're a new up-and-coming actress. You told us in the beginning of the pod you didn't turn L.A. You've literally been there two days. I don't even know you. Stop.

There was a poodle with dyed hair. I'm sure there was. Who snuffed me. And I was like, bitch, I was on a cable TV network. Shut the fuck up. On a daily basis. I'm not kidding. Way more than I should. I think about that little six-year-old from Fashion Week. I think she blocked me on Instagram. Taylin, I can't wait for you to meet her because you'll be like, this is what you're going to be when you grow up. I'm like, you're my daughter. I'm abducting you.

But also with you, like she has a kid. Notice the kid disappears for like seven episodes. I'm like, who's watching the kid? I mean, they didn't call. They did not call the babysitter one time. And I do have. Oh, I have one issue. OK. With them. I don't want to. This isn't really a giveaway, but like the teenage kid she's hooking up with. Yeah. Would you fuck him? No. No.

Would you? Me neither. But he's giving me like Timothy Chevrolet type vibe. Yeah. But my issue is he sees these people trapped, Timothy Chevrolet, trapped in a box in a basement. And his first instinct is to search for a key. Why didn't he call 911? Because Hannah, it's a television show.

So it's not real? And so they're not going to do like the normal thing. Wait. Do you know that I think they're dating in real life? Love and that guy. Love and his name's Theo, right? Theo? Yeah. Yeah. You know who I think's hot is the neighbor. The crazy one? Wait. The dad. Yeah. Okay. Zaddy vibes. Obviously he's my favorite. All day. I'm like, wait, why aren't we focusing the show more on him and like his love life? I was so into him.

Very into him. I'm not into like the swinging couple though. Are you into Joe? No, I'm really not. He's so not my type. He's there's some he's too like scrawny for me. Yeah, like his waist would look better in a wrap dress than mine. Yeah.

Like his bone structure is more defined than mine and I can't have it. Yeah, his cheekbones are snatched and I don't need that. Everyone actually on that show, no one's like overwhelmingly hot. Which I kind of like because you know those shows in the CW that are just a ton of models like pretending to act. I'm like, I can't fucking do this. I can't take this seriously. So right. I take them more seriously as actors if they're not as good looking. Wait, that's the reverse pretty privilege.

We're changing mankind, Hannah. I don't know. So in my comedy shows, I've been saying that I'm a reality TV 6, but that I'm a stand-up comedy 17. Ooh. Thank you. And people have been laughing. Mm-hmm. And I've realized...

I don't know if that's a good thing. You know when you're like, that kind of hurt, but I did this to myself? You laughed really quickly. Yeah, you laughed instantaneously. Don't love that. I don't love it. I say I have reverse body dysmorphia where I think I'm hotter than I am.

And when people laugh, I straight up, I'm like, I need to cry. Okay. I don't think you think you're hotter than you are. You are very pretty. I will say as your friend, though, going anywhere with you, you're hot.

You think that every guy wants to fuck you And I'm like That's literally the barista His job is to hand you your coffee He doesn't want to have sex with me I think he's gay Actually Like you actively think that everyone's Flirting I'm like he's literally driving the Uber He asked if we needed Like tissue Like he's not trying to get in your pants You know what it is I think it's cause when I make people laugh

I'm like done charmed the shoes off them. Think like every girl wants to fuck me. No, I get that. I get that. If I get like if you know when you're at like a dinner party or you're at a party or something and more than three people laugh, you're kind of like got these people in the bag. Who else can I go impress with this thing?

Like if you're sitting next to a model and you crack a joke and the guy laughs and the model laughs, I'm like, we're having a threesome. True. Except I've been at many a dinner party with like my guy friends and they are sitting next to a model and I'm listening to their conversation and my guy friends will be laughing and I'll look over and be like, no, you know that shit was not funny. I'm like, Paige. I feel like 90% of confidence.

Is believing that everyone wants to fuck you. I... I have said this before... And I literally live by it. If you walk into a room... And you legitimately think that you are the hottest person in the room... Like, just, like, in your head... Like, just as you're walking in... Like, I'm so fucking hot...

There is an energy that like it gives off to people and like they then think that you are the hottest person. Like it just. A thousand percent. Yeah. It's all psychology. Yeah. Instead of a podcast, we should have literally started a party circuit where we just were hired for parties and we like worked the room. You know what? I don't think the universe was ready for us to have a dating show together. And that's why we were never single at the same time. We were good together, though. We were good. OK. Also, don't freak out. OK. Yeah.

But I just interviewed for Burning in Hell, India Oxenberg from the NXIVM cult. Oh my god. Is this your first cult person? Paige, I was piddling myself. Like, I was like, I didn't know how to say it. I didn't want to be like, I love cults. But like, I wanted to be like, I'm, this is my purchase. Wait, how do you say that? Like, how do you say that?

just I love cults because it's not like you can be like hey I love tennis I hate cults I'm anti-cult but I'm pro yeah okay and wait have you watched The Vow or or Seduced

Either of them wait you did make me watch one of them I can't remember which one but I have seen like I know about this particular space in Albany so yeah it was the kind of tea that you get if you wanted I did watch it just in case there was someone in the background that I was like hey I know that person like I wanted to say yes and

So Des called me before and he was like, look, I know you like to make your little jokes, but this is a very sensitive thing that this girl's been through. Be careful. Don't make it about you. Stop trying to act like tennis was a cult. Like this is about her and her experiences. And I'm like, yes. And you're like, okay, second husband, keep your opinions to yourself or we'll replace you. See ya. Oh my God. I love calling Des second husband. Wait, I love it too. This is never going away.

Second husband. And he's jealous of my first. We don't know who he is. It makes it even better. Like we won't tell him who it is. None of your business. We don't talk about the past. Okay. It's like love with her first husband. He died. Quotation. Yeah. I murdered him. So I walk in to record and India's not there yet. And there's the owner of this podcast studio. And I was like, what a cool name.

India. Oh, yeah. It's like hot. Yeah. And then you just, you have to be interesting if your name's India. No, you must. I was like, yeah, I'm recording. I'm waiting for my guests. And he's like, oh, what's the like pod about? And I was like, she was in a cult. And he looks at me, no expression. He goes, me too. And I was like, okay, LA. What?

I was like, what? And he's like, yeah, my parents grew up in a cult. Like, whatever. What cult did he... I'm out of it now. What cult... It was... I forget. It was like the, like... Imagine if he didn't say, I'm out of it now. And he was like, you want to hear about it? Like, what do you... Like, Hyanna, I'm very worried that one day you will call me and be like, I'm moving to, like, the Bush people or something. I'm very open about, I will fall for a cult someday. But we sit down...

India gets there and she's immediately like great personality joking and I realized like I can make a joke and I'm like India I have to say because she was on this cult for seven years she worked her way up she how old is she it was from 19 to like 26 damn and I was like India I just have to say that you crush being in a cult like you you were one of the best cult members

She starts dying laughing. But I'm like, think about it. Like you push through so much shit. Like and she's like, my mom laughed about that, too. Like, I know it wasn't great. I was in a cult, but I did my best in the cult. I love when I fucking love moms. They're like, honey. But well, her mom saved her. You have to watch. Yeah. Mom who had introduced her to it because they're like L.A. people trying to find a purpose. Yeah. The mom wasn't that into it and then realized her daughter's in a cult.

But the cult told her, your mom's evil. Don't talk to your mom. And the mom started going to the media and was like, my daughter's brainwashed. And India keeps being like, you're being crazy, mom. Leave me alone. Oh, my God. It's her mom who brought the attention to the police, who finally got the cult leader under arrest. And India finally heard from a USB drive the cult leader basically talking about his plan to manipulate these women. And finally...

now her relationship with her mom is like so much deeper because her mom literally saved her life from a cult. The thing with cults is like,

If you're a cult leader, aren't you just so nervous every single day that you're going to get caught? Like this is why like I get this is back to tax evasion. Like if you're doing something illegal, aren't you nervous every single second of your life that you're going to get caught? So you're doing it wrong. You can't think how they would think because they don't think like you. They're like straight up sociopaths. Yeah, I guess that's right. So because part of me, I was like India, once you found out that like it starts as an executive success program, it

It's literally like imagine you didn't really know what's going on with your life and it's like, oh, it's an executive success program that helps you learn how to become a better human. Executively. Executively. She's like compared a lot of woo woo stuff in L.A. It was very like straightforward. Yeah. And you have to like it took a journey before she got to this final like really fucked up part. And I'm like, isn't it crazy that he had to go through like all these things to get you where he wanted you? And she's like, yeah, but he doesn't think like us.

And then I was like, India, do you believe in good? People are good or bad? Because I tried to tell myself that everyone's good. They just like have to deal with stuff. Yeah. She was like, no, people are bad. Like that's crazy. Like straight up evil. They're straight up evil people, which is so scary. And then I was like, are you practicing forgiveness with these people? And she was like, you have to. And I'm like, oh, that's some fucking deep shit. Where's that guy now? In jail? He's in jail.

Oh my God. And he was like 5'5". But also, okay, that is also crazy because how was he banging all of them? That's also the thing. He didn't just bang all these women. It took years of grooming and coaxing and manipulating and to the point that they felt like they were no one without his leadership. I can't believe this happened in Albany. How great for us. I believe it. Yeah.

But the point is, cults are actually just like a toxic boyfriend. Because no one deliberately joins a cult. No one deliberately dates a bad dude. Right. So true. But you're love bombed in cults. Then they take... Like, you know how toxic guys...

Take your friends away. They take your family away. And then all you see is them. Then they break you down, tell you you're nothing without them. Yeah. Literally what cult does. Yeah. It's really not that crazy. It's very textbook. Yeah. Cults are just like College 101. Yeah. And this cult in particular, they weren't wearing crazy like outfits or colors. It is nutty. Like because anytime you talk to a girl who's been in like any type of abusive relationship, everyone's story is.

Pretty much has the same kind of timeline. It's like, well, we were he was amazing. We were great. And then all of a sudden he did like one thing and was like, and then it just it's like all the same. But my thing is, how do these narcissists and sociopaths and psychopaths

all know how to do it the same way like right like is there a book i guess yeah no is there a book that they're all reading that like they haven't let us in on i guess that they just know humanity knows like i have to get them to like really trust me and then i have to break them down to get the like pleasure i don't fucking know but basically there are scary people in this world i mean that is like

We talked about the Brittany Murphy documentary, right? Yeah, we talked about it. I mean, he was like, that's him. He's just book. Yeah. He was just so good at it. A cult called Simon. Yeah. I finished it. It was really good. Do you know about Anna Delvey? Yeah. The girl that was like pretended she was an heiress.

Yeah, so there's this thing on HBO Max called Generation Hustle. Yeah. Where it shows all these different scam artist things and I watched the one on Adele V. Wait, I need to watch it. I'm literally going to watch it tonight. You need to. It's like documentary style or it's like acting? Yeah. Okay. It's documentary style. It's so good because she basically... Okay, what would you do? Paige. Paige.

I'm doing really well. I'm crushing it. I have so much money. I am a German heiress. No big deal. Do you want to come to me with me to Morocco? I'll pay for the trip like six days. It'll be so dope. Yes, I'm coming. Like I'm coming. Hell yes. Okay, so we get there. We're sitting down to dinner. Oh my God. My card isn't working.

can you get this dinner then yeah you pick up the dinner then the security comes and goes your card is bouncing and I go Paige this is so embarrassing it's just so embarrassing like something must have gotten fucked up with like my wiring from Germany can you cover this and I will get you back for sure

Please. Oh my God. I feel like I'm entering a cult, but yes, then I would do it. Like if this was my friend, yeah. I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed. Thank you so much. I love this role play we're doing. This is kind of hot. We're in Morocco too. It's 70 grand, by the way. I mean, I don't have that. I feel like you just did a big ad on your Instagram. Oh, let me pick this one up.

But like, whatever. Yeah. So, okay. Pick up the trip. Then we have like so much fun. So much fun. Okay. I love you. I'll get you the money ASAP. You never get the money from me. I never hear from you again. You'll text me and I'll be like, oh my God, it's coming. It's coming. And then eventually you just realize you're never going to get it. Okay. If... Okay. Okay.

If that's my friend, yeah, that's fucking crazy. I'm livid, okay? And you're not doing that well. Like, you're living paycheck to paycheck. Right, like, I need that money. I would be so angry if that's me. On the outside looking in, what a fucking hustler. Yeah, like, I can't knock this girl's hustle. Like, I genuinely can't. Like, to have the gall to do that is crazy. That's, like, a different part of your brain.

And she's doing this to a bunch of hotels. I knew she was doing it at, what is that hotel that that's attached to? Whatever. There's this place called the blonde that like in New York city that I used to go to literally every Friday and Saturday night. The bouncer hated me. It's a whole thing. Anywho, the Howard hotel, it's attached to the Howard hotel. It was like the most fun place. And that's where she like would live and like scam them.

Anyway, so what she'd do is she'd live in a place for like a month and she'd owe like 20 grand. Where isn't she really from? Like a farm in the Midwest or something crazy? She's from Russia. Oh, that's terrifying. That's immediately terrifying. It's like the Midwest, but scarier. So she would just leave the hotel. So the friend calls the police and is like, my friend fucked me. Yeah, my friend stole money from me.

And then they go, oh my gosh, we have a lot of open cases about this woman. So how much money did she ultimately get away with in all of her scamming in New York? I'm not sure exactly, but it was like hundreds of thousands of dollars. But it's funny because her lawyer had your perspective where the lawyer was like...

So she's smart and she's like. So she tricked you. No, yeah, because it's just. And she had a lot of, I think, like fake followers on Instagram. And she also was getting these people to invest into this like project. She was starting. She was trying to start like a fake Soho house. Yes, exactly. So she was really good at being. Confident. Yeah.

And apparently she was a bitch. Like, she would just be mean to people. Yeah. And people, like, respected it. There was another thing, too, where someone was, like, she wasn't, like, the prettiest girl. But, like, she wasn't, like, ugly. But you wouldn't be, like, damn, she's so hot. But, like, walking into a room, people were, like, enamored by her. And I forget, like, if it was, like, a friend or a friend of a friend, whatever. I read it in that, like, big, the cut to, like, a huge article about it. Yeah. Yeah.

So she's, but I think she did what she wanted to do, which is like. So now where is she? She in jail? She's in jail. Damn. And she's young too, right? I guess she gets out. When does she get out? In her 20s, I think. Yeah. I feel like when she did all this, she was only like 26. Yeah. Yeah.

Wait, that is crazy. Like, that's crazy. New York City is so nuts. When I was, like, pulling into New York City today with my brother, and, like, we weren't even in Times Square, and someone was just, like, and it is, like, Halloween time, whatever, but someone was just walking down the street in, like, a Captain America costume, and, like, I didn't think anything of it. I actually didn't even comment on it. And my brother was like, this is a weird place. And I was like, that...

At least he's dressed. I'd be like, go back to Albany with your fucking cults, okay? If you don't want a little superhero costume. He's saving the city. How about you say thank you? He's protecting us. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks.

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Um, my question is when did Halloween become a two week thing? No, I can't. I can't. I actually do this before. Or is it because like we missed Halloween last year? Kind of.

Because Instagram is popping off with outfits already. I'm like, it's literally we're going to have Friendsgiving next Monday. Like, what is going on? It's too much. It's too much. I actually hate Halloween and I specifically hate this year's Halloween. I don't. It's the first time I'm a couple and I don't have a costume because getting a guy to make any type of decision is awful.

like the worst you you would literally have to buy it and like dress him up and no i that's what i'm trying to do but i can't even get a text being like yeah okay that one yeah they're like a puppy you have to like yeah it's like here like the i have to like shake keys i'm like you want to be pirates honestly you have to get him a treat you have to get him a treat literally

um anyhow i think i'm gonna be flying good for you night good for honestly i did it on purpose yeah no i'm just like hannah good for you sunday am i i have people throwing a party on saturday but it is in jersey city oh sorry but i'm gonna be in la i was gonna be guy fieri i would love if you did do that though at some point

Do you want to know what's fucked up for a second? Don't let my mom see you. The shit she probably wants to say to me or she's just like, oh, Hannah. For a second, I wanted to just buy it to take a picture. Yeah. But then I was like, I can't. I'm not paying $200 on Amazon for a photo. The craziest thing, too, is like.

I've always wanted to do like really cool couples costumes. Now, like the one year I have a boyfriend, I can't stop thinking of like, oh, if I was single, I would have been this. Oh my God, that's life. What were you going to be if you were single? I had so many that now I can't remember. But I, because, and also here's another thing. This is just pure privilege as well. There's so many good Halloween costumes for blondes.

Like so many. Like every time I'm scrolling, I'm like, well, I don't want to wear a blonde wig. Yeah. All we have is like Angelina Jolie and Tomb Raider. We're done with it. I'm over it. Like that's all we have. I want it to be Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Craig said no.

I was like, well, I don't have any more brunette outfits. Why can't he be MGK? That would be so funny. Okay, well, here's, I will let the gigglers in on this. He texted me earlier today and he said, do you want to be the Motley Crue? And I was like, oh, like punk rock people? And he was like, yeah. So he thinks we're being punk rock people. We're being Travis and Kourtney. I just haven't told him yet. I just haven't told him.

Because in no world is Paige Motley Crue. No, I'm like, I'm literally going to be like, okay, I'm in charge of everything. Put this outfit on. Are you going to tell him to wear a beanie? I'm not going to. Just be like, whatever you do, wear a beanie. I'm not telling him until the picture is on my Instagram story. He thinks we are punk rock people. We are either Travis and Courtney or we are MGK and Megan Fox. He's not going to know.

It's better for him. It's better this way. He's going to know. He's not going to know. Who's going to tell him? Literally, who's going to tell him? He thinks, okay. Because he didn't want to be them. He was like, no, it's so weird. Why would we dress up as them? And I was like, okay, we'll be punk rock people. I think Des is too old for Halloween. Second husbands usually are. Yeah. Yeah.

I love this second husband bit we have going on with it the fun thing about Des is he's like a godfather of like five children yeah so he kind of has other families yeah I kind of tell myself he's just like seeing his other family in Ireland I'm like give my best wait I joke about a secret family all the time I'm like I know you have a secret family in Ireland yeah

I wondering where the fuck you are. Go back. Tell her what you ever have to tell her. Hannah, I can't. We can't put this in the atmosphere because you know how we are with manifesting. If you end up on a documentary one day about like men with secret. He's like a politician in Ireland. Why do you think I do us weekly interviews so that his secret family fucking know? Because if there's a girl out there that needs saving, she's going to read it through us weekly. I actually like.

Would love To have a documentary About me I just don't know What it's gonna be about yet And I'm kind of scared Okay well Hopefully We put some crazy shit Into the universe today Yeah hopefully It's not a documentary A documentary about Anything you like Watching documentaries on Because Then we're gonna be In a real fucking pickle So we Do we have any Front page news? We're at an hour Okay

Oh my god. Well, we love you guys so much. We are working on new locations to have a Giggly Squad live show. We're so excited. I booked hair and makeup for our Philly one. We love that. I love that. I'm so excited about it. I'm so excited. We're gonna look fly. Hopefully this pimple calms the fuck down. Do you have any advice? I have to be on stage in two hours. Not really. She's a volcano, guys.

You don't travel with pimple cream. I put toothpaste on it. Put like a cold compress on it right now. Maybe the swelling will go down a little. Okay, thanks, babe. Oh, take some Advil too if it hurts. That'll make the swelling go down. Okay, amazing because my whole body hurts always. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling with us today. Yeah, thanks for giggling with us. See you next time. Bye.