Giggling about sexting hacks, dermaplaning, and short haircuts
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My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn.com slash results.

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I mean the day just got away from me. Y'all what's up my gigglers? Wow we've been in the south for far too long. I do have to say them saying y'all saves them so much time from all the times we say you guys. I feel myself getting nicer. No I was full-on like getting into by the end random conversations with people. Just start talking about my life and they were like I agree.

Because people in the South, like you, here's the thing about living in the South. I think it gives me so much anxiety because you can get caught in a small talk conversation at any point in time. Like I know in New York when I leave my apartment, I don't have to talk to another human to

unless I really need to talk to another human. In the South, you could have to talk to the people at the grocery store. In New York, if someone starts a full conversation with you and they don't know you, they're a crazy person on the subway. Yeah, like they want to murder you. Yeah, like the people at TSA are supposed to be like the meanest people alive. Like you like put your shoes down. They're like, not that way. And you're like, I'm sorry.

Where this TSA guy's like cracking jokes, just being like cute and fun. And I'm like, I don't, I don't feel like you're going to protect me. The shows were so much fun. I had a giggler DM me saying, hey, did you throw up before or after the show? We decided like Paige is Justin Bieber. And sometimes dopamine is too much for her little cricket body to handle. Yeah.

Okay, the last... The last meet and greet? The last meet and greet, we're in Charleston. And I'm not kidding. Meet and greet just starts. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to faint. Like, I'm literally going to pass out.

and i was like get her some water get in some water and then she looks at me and she goes i haven't eaten all day i'm like that might be it the things that are going on in my head are like okay i can't leave hannah here to do the meet and greet by herself but if i'm about to faint what am i doing like am i pulling that curtain going that way and being like i have to sit down or am i just passing out in front of the gigglers like what's my plan of action

Fainting requires so much admin So much admin so then I took my sweater off And I was like this is gonna help And then you were like touched like one part of my body And you were like you're burning up You were This is all in between us being like Thanks for coming Nice to meet you guys

And then Paige is like, I'm physically and emotionally deteriorating and something's good, bad's about to happen. I felt so bad because every two minutes I'd have to say, hi, oh my God, so nice to meet you. Thank you for coming. What's your name? What side do you want to take the picture? And then I'd turn to Hannah and be like, I'm going to die.

I'm going to fall on the ground. I do have to say, like, we did five shows in three days and there was no rest because we were either traveling or getting our hair and makeup done. So Paige pushed herself to the limit. At one point, I was, like, holding you up. Yeah. And, um...

No, but you were amazing. You crushed it. And also like the energy from the gigglers keeps us going. Besides you almost actually dying at the end, which was like, I don't know. There's insurance for that. I think my body is just so sensitive. So like on Thursday before the Durham show, like I get...

nervous, excited, happy. Like I feel all these emotions and then I had to feel that for three days and then right when the second show was over in Charleston, I think my body was like, okay, holy shit. I texted her. I said, how are you doing? And she goes, numb. Yeah.

Because I immediately got back to my room, projectile vomited, like had a panic attack and then went to sleep. You know, like classic night for me. You should do it. Go to bed with me with Paige DeSorbo. We're going to take off our makeup. The panic attack is three. And there it is. And there it is. I haven't had a panic attack in so long. And...

I think it was, yeah, literally just like, I am Justin Bieber. I don't know what else to say. Like there's no other explanation. I genuinely don't know how like,

artists perform concerts every single night and I really don't understand how people on Broadway do what they do I lost my voice after three days how the fuck does Celine Dion go on a world tour like I don't I don't get that like I used to always think you know when celebrities would go to the hospital and they would say it's for exhaustion and you'd be like what like no way they party way too much

Now I do understand how like, because if you're just like constantly going at that level of like of your career and you're doing concerts every single day. Yeah. You like forget to eat. Like obviously you didn't drink enough water that day. Then your sleep schedule gets like, I don't get how they do it.

Also, in some jobs, like if you can't go that day, like it's fine. Where these people, if you have an arena of 40,000 people and you have to decide, like, I know, like I feel horrible, but I can't let these people down. And these people are the reason you do what you do. So, like, I mean, it's similar to Giggly Squad. No, we literally are Taylor. I felt like Taylor Swift at Madison Square Garden.

But I do feel like these celebrities, they have a whole team. Afterwards, we'd get an IV drip, massage, wake up in the morning, hair and makeup, another IV drip. It did feel good. Yesterday, Hannah and I went to the Charleston place where we stayed. She got a massage. I got a facial. And so I did feel so good on Sunday. I felt very relaxed. Yeah.

So what were your favorite moments from the shows? Because there were so many iconic moments. Can I start with mine? Yes. So.

So mine was, there was this crazy group of girls on the side. We brought this guy on who seemed kind of shy. And he just started like saying hilarious one-liners. Yeah. These girls start yelling like, stone, stone. And I'm like, okay, is this a Southern thing? I think these girls want to stone you. Yeah. Never heard it before. Love them.

the intensity and I love the passion let's not stone this man and they kept yelling it the whole time and I started joking like oh the stoning girls are at it again then we see them in the meet and greet and they like weren't really laughing with me but everyone else was and I'm like are they they're scary and they go we weren't saying stone we were saying stove because his name is Steve and we thought it was funny to say stove and I was like oh my god we really missed each other on that one we had a massive miscommunication in that one

My favorite thing was I think this set of shows. I loved your outfits. Like I really loved your outfits for every show.

Wait, what'd you wear in Charlotte? Yeah, yeah, I loved what you wore in Charlotte. Oh my god, I'm working with a stylist. Her name's Grace Tully. And I hope her prices don't go up after saying her name on this podcast. But she's so cool. She's amazing. She kind of gets me. So, well, I knew I had good outfits because I wore one of your outfits in a different color. Yeah.

I know, which what are the chances? Because I have had that outfit for like six months and haven't found anywhere to wear it. Like I thought I was going to wear it so many times over the summer and then I didn't.

and i was like wow this is a perfect giggly show it's like a really like spandexy type suit thing and i was like we would have been power rangers if we came out with different colors it kind of would have been funny i also thought it was funny when we brought that guy on stage and he kept answering the question by talking about his sister and these are like dirty questions but he's like oh my sister told me guys we're gonna tell me that my sister and i'm like we're talking about choking in bed

That was really good. The crowds were just so fun and drunk. I also really loved the Charleston Theater and I loved the Durham Theater. And Ciara also showed up in Charlotte, refused to go on stage. Who knows what that feels like to not want that kind of attention. It's so funny to have a friend...

It's so funny to have a friend like you who like loves talking and going on stage. And then we have a friend like Sierra who's like, I would literally rather die than get up on a stage and have to speak to a bunch of people where we're like, this is our drug. I feel nothing unless I'm on stage. Yeah.

And that was a sad statement to make in public. But Sierra was down to make some funny TikToks with us. So we're making TikToks. I'm getting DMs from the gigglers like, why aren't you guys on stage?

Well, we had like, okay, here's the other thing that people like wouldn't know about us. Like when we go do these live shows, like it's just me and Hannah. And like most people who are going to do like a theater show or something like have people like teams that work with them. So I think that every time we walk into the theater, the people that work there are like, who are these two literal hooligans? Who?

Who look lost. Who look so completely lost and telling us like, oh, well, we play a PowerPoint and like, here's the angry women playlist that we'd like you to play as they're walking in. Like, I don't think anyone knows what to expect. But Hannah and I sometimes have to go into like full business mode.

So like in Durham, our compute, the computer like hookup wasn't working and it was like a whole debacle and it was just but you would never know that because the show must go on.

It was a rigmarole. Yeah, it literally was. And right before I got it to work. Yeah. And I was like, look, I don't even know how to make a PowerPoint, but you need to figure this out. But the funny thing is, it's all these guys in like their 50s. Yeah. That work there. And I'm like, okay, we need the song Fucking Problems by A$AP Rocky. Yes. And then we have an Angry Woman playlist. That's my favorite part. And the guy's looking at me like...

like i'm crazy and i have to be like firm with him because i'm like this is how the show goes bro but then afterwards they always like are like oh the show is so funny like and i'm like gigglers come in all form and sizes my favorite part of any live giggly squad show is you telling the sound person it's called fucking problems by asap rocky do you know and it's just an innocent guy named steve who's like i don't get paid enough to do this yeah no literally

Okay, a few front page news things that happened over the weekend when we weren't looking at our phones. Kylie Jenner finally announced her son's name and it's Aire, A-I-R-E, pronounced like air because a lot of people were like, is it pronounced airy? Now, the uproar is that in Arabic, it means penis.

This is my thing. There's no way she didn't know that. Like, there's no way if you're going to come up with one of these fancy names, you don't type it into Google. Okay. I feel like... I feel like would I think to check what does this name mean in every single language? Like...

I just feel like if you're going to make up a word, you should know what that made up word means in languages where it's a real word. Okay. Well, they were saying like, because she does, they do talk about how like they're Lebanese. Um, that like she should have known because if she goes to any country in the Middle East, like most likely there's Arabic being spoken. Do you remember she changed her last kid's name? No, this is, this is the same kid. She changed, originally his name was Wolf.

Oh, yeah. Oh, so she wasn't announcing the new name. Right. Okay, this is draft number two. Don't get us started with kids' names. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, she has... They all have, like, themes, I feel like, to their kids' names. Well, not really Kim and Kourtney, but, like...

Kylie has a clear theme happening. Stormy, air. The weather channel. Yeah, it's like the full-on weather channel. What is the connection to the elements of the earth that she's going for? People used to call me Hurricane Hannah when I was a kid because any room I go into, I destroy. Okay, and then in other Kylie news, she just got in trouble for wearing a lion's head to a fashion show in Paris. Obviously, it's a fake lion.

It's a fake lion. But people didn't love what it was like. People were just like, what's the point? What is the point? But she's kind of being overshined by Doja Cat, who dressed as a sparkly pimple. It gave me claustrophobia. Okay, I'm trying to think. Was that a bodysuit that she had on, like her arms? Or were her arms painted and then stuck on with those diamonds? Because I would have had...

an allergic reaction and like emotional distress. It's reminded me of like the amount of bobby pins Teresa Giudice had in her hair. What also made me think is once I heard that Kendall Jenner like is afraid of little circles. Yeah. Do you know who else has that? Do you know who else has that? Sierra. Sierra.

You know how pancakes can have little bubbles in them? Yes, I saw Doja Cat and I wondered if Kendall would be afraid of Doja Cat. There was not one piece of skin showing, even by her eyelids. I would get so claustrophobic. Also, I would itch. I would itch something and it would come off. Even inside of her ear, fully painted. I can barely do a slick back bun. I can't do a fashion outfit like that. But she's a conique for doing it.

iconic um iconic can we talk about the shakira thing because we actually haven't talked about it yeah we haven't talked about on giggly squad but we definitely talked about it at our live shows um the whole shakira page has the funniest take the whole shakira thing with like the jar of jam so if you don't know the story basically shakira

was home one day just minding her own business going in her own refrigerator she saw a jar of jam and she was like immediately suspicious because she doesn't like jam her husband doesn't like jam and their kids don't like jam so she was like obviously the next thought in your brain is like my husband's cheating on me because who else would be eating jam he's fucking someone else

One plus two equals he's fucking someone else. Yeah. Which ended up being true. And then I was thinking, like, what is something that would have to be out of place that I would be like, like, OK, perfect example is one time I this was like right when I first started dating Craig and I had slept over one weekend and I had come back the next weekend and I like gotten in bed or whatever. Right.

On the bottom of the bed, I could feel like inside the covers, I could feel like a piece of clothing or something like by my feet. And I was like, what the fuck is this? And I like pull it up and it's a pair of underwear. And immediately I'm like, holy shit. Like this is like, oh my God, like he's cheating on me. And I like go into a cold sweat and

And then I realized that they were in fact mine, but like my whole body, like I did, I like froze. I was like, what, what am I doing? And I've re and I've realized too, in fight or flight, I'm a girly that wouldn't be able to hold it inside.

Like, you know how some girls can be like, okay, I caught them. Let me think what I'm going to do. I'm not compartmentalizing that shit. No, I can't. I'm not like, so how, how's the backyard doing? No. I mean, just now it's so funny. Des found like a fake eyelash in the bed and he was like, are you having a lesbian relationship behind my back? And I was like, actually, like, honestly, we didn't get to the bottom of it. I don't know who's...

What I also knew, Des has a brother who will sometimes come by to like take care of butter or like do whatever in our apartment. Yeah. And I looked at Des and I was like, so Aiden came this weekend? And he was like, how'd you know? I know. Yeah. That I turned the lights off. Yep. And Aiden, whenever he's here, he dims them to the bottom. So I went to turn it on and the lights were dimmed. Yeah. And I knew it was Aiden. This is what I'm trying to say is that the fact that the CIA is full of men.

is a travesty because men cannot find anything. My mom will send my dad to the grocery store for 40 years. He still cannot find what she needs him to find. Des loses his key every three seconds. Yep. Right now he can't find his phone and I'll find it. Yep. When I'm done with this podcast, I'll find it. I...

And I know that like if you listen to any mental health podcast or you listen to any dating podcast, they are like trust is the number one thing. You should never like you should never. Does this text me saying I have it? So if I so something is suspicious, I'm like, hey, what is that?

Yeah. No, it's totally part of like the relationship that what are you going to do? Keep it in and then explode because of something else and then they call you crazy. But I would never not like...

hand my phone oh like if car was like hey i gotta google this like i have no problem like handing my phone over very very early on in the relationship des got me on to new york times crossword puzzles and i'm notoriously bad at them still can't get past monday and is it like a levels thing like if you can't yeah and monday is like the easiest and it's something i'm working on within myself um

But like, it was like, it's like a subscription. So you have to pay like $6 a year. So I obviously did not buy it for myself. So I'd be like, give me your phone. I want to play. So I would always have his phone playing. This was during COVID. So like, obviously, yeah.

not a lot was going on right i would be embarrassed to give someone my phone purely because like the last thing i googled is probably like should my vagina smell like this like that's the stuff that i don't want people to see i have like really insane notes of like random thoughts that i'll come up with or like affirmations to myself and like i just don't need anyone seeing those

Okay, now going through someone's notes, violation of privacy. Or like all my bad selfies that I take and then I go, ugh, I can't post these. There's like 40 of them. I do think that with the Shakira thing, the fact that she was like, there's no jam in the house, you're fucking someone, is the classic thing that a guy would be like, this bitch is crazy. And Giggly Squad just wants to let you guys know, you're not crazy. No.

Because also women, I feel like, have such a better intuition. So I just think our gut feelings are way better. We couldn't throw parties at our house, my brother and I. We threw one. And my mom walked in, literally sniffed the air, and was like, you guys threw a party. We spent 12 hours cleaning. Yeah. She was like, the rug is off. You guys threw a party. And I was like, this bitch is a witch. Yeah.

I actually did get some good insight from a giggler whose name is Tesla. Like, what a cool name. Oh, my God. So she basically was like, when a guy sends you a dick pic, save it and see where it saves in your phone because it's going to save on the date it was taken. Don't screenshot it. So if you want to know if he's reusing an old dick shot, that's kind of fun. That's kind of fun for me.

And if you're going to send a nude, screenshot it. And then send it. If it's an old one, crop it and send it. So that's just a fun hack for the girlies. That's an insane hack. Would you be upset if a guy is sending used dick pics to you? I would. I don't like it. I want that erection to be somehow related to me. I wouldn't be upset because...

I know that you have to be in like, not only do you have to be in like a sexual mood to take that picture, you have to be emotionally invested in a photo shoot at that time. And if you're not, I get it.

But like if you're dirty texting, it's like hotter for him to snap a pic in the moment. Here's why I'm justifying it. I've used older photos where I'm like, I know that one's a slam dunk. This one is a full 10. No, but that's different. Like I'm sending that. Women's bodies are beautiful. Yeah. His dick is beautiful.

Doesn't have any pressure on it. But he might not be in a situation where he can just snap once. True. I just also have that like crazy... I literally just called everyone out crazy and then I called myself crazy. Hannah, positive self-talk. Like obviously he's liked women before, but I don't want a reminder that he's sent his dick all over Manhattan. You know? I really... I...

Don't think that I've received like I could probably count on my hand how many times I've gotten a dick pic before.

Yeah, I'm also not one to ask for it. Like, I'm a writer. I'm a novelist. Yeah, I'm a journalist. I'm setting the scene. I'm a journalist. I don't need your your dick. That's like looks like a fucking anteater that got hit by a car. I feel like I also have talked to guys before where at some point they have. I have ghosted them or ended it with them based on the dirty talk.

Or a picture that has been sent where I've been like, not for me. If he's sending like a selfie in the bathroom with his face in it, go to therapy. Because his face, no face is going to look like the right face. No, I don't need that. I don't need that. What kind of dirty talk will make you break up with a guy? One time I was talking to this guy, I was probably like 24. And I wasn't like that...

It's not like I wasn't not experienced, but it wasn't also like I was like a like I was nor I was being normal. You weren't dirty talking every day. Yeah. Like I was just being like a normal 24 year old girl. And this guy starts like dirty talking me. And we were like about to go. I can't remember if it was in between like before going on a first date or if it was right after our first date, because I know I stopped talking to him literally before a second date.

We were talking dirty and he like very quickly went to butt stuff. And I was just like, no, like it was it was like my clothes are still on. Yeah, my clothes are still on. Like at that at that pace, I was like, I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready for that to be introduced.

And I got the immediate ick. And I was like, I'll never see you again, sir. I'm going to butcher it, but Des has the funniest stand-up joke about, like, guys, when you're sexting, like, don't go too hard. Because, like...

He's like, imagine what you think you look like when you're dancing. And then you actually look at what you look like when you're dancing. It's like set... Oh, he texted me. It's wrong already. And then he said... Please don't butcher my dude. What I'm so sure is these guys would be like, I'm going to go down on you forever. And then they just like...

After two minutes, they're like, my neck hurts. Right. That's the other thing. I don't think I've ever met someone who's dirty talk matched up with reality. Myself included. Myself fully included. I'm like, I don't know who that fictional character was that I was writing about, but it's certainly not me. Do you know how flexible I am over text? My legs are all over the place.

The second I got, I'm like, ah, my hip flexor. I was just going to say, if someone asks me what are two facts you know about Hannah, it's she will eat your leftovers and her hip flexors are always fucked up. Like those two things till I die. That's actually, I said like my favorite position was doggy because you can text during it, but it's also because it's really easy on my hip flexors.

When a guy's on top and you're hip, I'm like, ah. It's like, no, it's not because your dick is big. It's because I haven't stretched properly. You have tight hips. Yeah. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.

It's my favorite time of year. It's summer going into fall. It's the best fashion part of the year. It's my favorite season and sometimes shifting your summer wardrobe to fall can be a little bit of a challenge, but luckily we have Quince, which offers timeless and high quality items that I absolutely adore. And the best part about it is it's

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I don't know if you guys have noticed from my Instagram stories but I've basically switched all my loungewear over to Skims. I was obviously obsessed with their bras and underwear but now I really can't get enough of their soft lounge collection. I have their soft lounge tank with

with their matching lounge fold over pant. I'm absolutely obsessed. Not only do I wear it inside, but I actually wear it to travel a lot too. I noticed in my drawer the other day that basically all my bras and underwears are skims, but also now all of my t-shirts and my loungewear is skims.

I've pretty much cleared out all my lounge sets after I moved. I just like got rid of everything. I was like, I don't need all of these random sweatpants and sweatshirts and really replaced everything with skims because I know it's always going to look good and I know it always feels amazing.

And you know how much I love laying in bed, so if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan. Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com, now available in sizes XXS to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop-down menu.

I have tight hips. What did you think about Kim Kardashian going and speaking at Harvard Law? What, like it's hard? Yeah. Like it's hard? I think...

I do like that it's aspiring to be like, you can be hot and smart. Yeah. Like, I appreciate that she cares about that stuff. I don't know. Do you think that a college would ever ask Giggly Squad to come and do a commencement speech? Commencement's strong. Commencement's strong. I could see an after-school event. An after-school program, potentially? I started doing some stand-up at colleges where it's like... No way. No way.

And is it so different? I did Tulane. And they're all young. And I was making like zaddy jokes. And I'm like, wait, I can't do my zaddy material because I do not want 19-year-old girls liking zaddies. Yeah. So I had to like take out some material. Some things like you talk about, you know, when you're dating and I'm like, you guys have had like maybe one boyfriend. So I had to change it a little bit. I mean, Kim going to Harvard Law is fun. I thought she looked cool going.

Like her outfit, I feel like was really like a great outfit. She's done worse. Yeah. She's done more things to piss people off. I love Chris gender was like, hey, Kylie just wore a full on animal that is becoming extinct for fashion. Can you go to Harvard Law? Also, Pete Davidson is seeing someone new. And Pete Davidson got his Kim tattoos removed.

I mean, talk about someone who loves tattoo admin. I was just going to say, I think it's so interesting that there are some people that are like, I will tattoo my body with whatever I'm feeling at the time because whatever, if I hate it in a year, I'll just get it removed. Like that they're so like willy nilly with it.

Yeah. And I heard it's super, super painful, but maybe he gets off on it. My thing was he's dating his co-star. I do not like if a guy I'm with and I leave him starts dating someone he knew before me or during. I don't like it. Wow. That is. Yes. I don't like it. I come one thousand agree because it's the it's like the classic the girl he told you not to worry about.

And you're like, there obviously was something there. Exactly. And like, so he knew that girl when he was filming Bodies, Bodies, Bodies. I feel like I have dated guys, not like my full boyfriend, but like I have been seeing guys and I've met throughout time, like their other friends. And you know,

know when you first meet someone like in that first 15 seconds of like if this was a different time different place like it totally would have been me and you like we would have hooked up and he's hot because you can't fuck him like right that night you're like annoyed at your boyfriend you see right and he's just sitting there like like bopping around you're like oh shut up coulda shoulda woulda i mean if i had a nickel for how many times that's happened to me where i'm like oh i always choose too early

I mean, Des, I knew who Des was like five years ago, but I didn't know. I never met him. Right. I don't think that counts. No. But this girl, Pete, like knew fully. Yes. Before dating Kim. And I guess like that's weird to me. I think that's weird too. If you're fucking in love, fucking be in love. But then I don't know. I don't. Because it's also like this girl definitely listened to him talk about

Kim. Maybe. We don't know the timelines exactly. But also the speed that this man can like put himself into a new relationship is crazy. Like I feel like after every relationship I need at least...

five months with my cat. No, I fully agree on that. Like I need at least a full like six months to a year. Even if I meet the perfect guy, I'm always like, I'm triggered because it was so annoying when this guy did this and your face, the way you have nostrils and he has nostrils. I just can't do it right now. Yes. Oh, we forgot to mention Madison LaCroix did our makeup. Yes, our hair and makeup. And it couldn't have been...

It couldn't have been a funnier situation to watch you sit in her chair and her do her makeup, your makeup, because it was like the two most opposite people I've ever met in my life. Like, just because like you're from Brooklyn, New York, she is from like in the South. Like she even says she's like, I'm country. And like, I don't think I've ever really even heard someone say that. Like, I'm country. Yeah. Like I'm country. So like, and I'm just like, I love country.

Just like what you are. Like, I just love I feel like Madison is literally like a real life doll. I feel like I had when I was little that like came to life one day. Literally. And she talks so soft. We used to talk about her at Giggly Squad, how we loved how she would be like, hi, I'm Madison. And she'll say the most hilarious fucked up thing. And, you know, I'll hit you with a screwdriver. I don't give a shit. You're like, what? Yeah.

Like you have to sit and think for a second, like, did she just insult me? Like, because she says things so nice and it sounds so pretty. She is so witty. I have to say, you knew Madison for a while. All I know is Madison once did send me like a very kind message when I was dealing with some reality TV bullshit. Yeah. And I like I never forget that stuff. Yeah. Like Mercedes is another one who's done that. And I'm like, I will always like when you need me be there for you, even though I don't know you that well.

So I finally meet her in person. Tiny, put her in your pocket. No, put her in your pocket. And hilarious. Yes. It makes me upset. Why are her confessionals not funnier? I mean, people would argue our last season was not very funny, and it's like you really think we didn't make a joke at all? I think that also, I think that Bravo loves things that are so dramatic and so that they don't...

let's just say they don't have anyone in the comedy space like no one is editing and editing has a funny bone well they like editing people to laugh at you and they don't right they don't like you funny yeah they don't like you being in charge they'll let you be funny for a second and then they'll take it back yeah madison is actually a comedian then she pulls out a tool

that I've never seen before and she starts rubbing it on my face and she and I was like what's that and she goes you have a long hair and I'm just getting my razor and I was like what and then she starts getting my mustache she full on was shaving my mustache and I'm like I've got my makeup done multiple times this has never happened before and she was like girl you just need to get a little dermaplane get that mustache right off you'll be fine bless your little heart

It was giving me like makeup artist orbital bone part two where she was like, well, how are you walking around town like this? You look crazy. I was drinking sweet tea, which is fully crack cocaine. I had grits, which it's an interesting texture. Like when you eat too much of it, you're like, what? It's like eggs. You're like, how did we get here? Yeah. I've never had grits. You get it either cheesy, salty or sweet, like buttery.

Actually, maybe I have had them one time. I think I've had like cheesy grits before. Yeah, I'll like take them or leave them. Should I dermaplane?

Well, here's the thing. Dermaplane sounds like I'm trying to go on an excursion on a cruise. Should I dermaplane? Dermaplane, we can't do, as Italian women, we can't do some of the same beauty trends that other women are doing. They don't talk about it enough. We don't talk about it enough. Wait, I hate when people say I can't. Because if you have peach fuzz on your face...

Which do you have peach fuzz or do you have actual like hair? Now, if you have peach fuzz, then yeah, you probably can dermaplane. But because we are dark haired Italian women, our hair on our face is it is it's just different than like your friend Stephanie who has blonde hair, blue eyes and it's like Stephanie.

From Switzerland Stephanie strikes again Stephanie and her fucking perfect peach fuzz Yeah like it is just different So we have to laser Our faces And we're blonde How much of your face have you lasered I've lasered my entire face But by your eyes

um they don't go really close to my eyes but i didn't really have hair on my eyes but like i had like have you done hair yes that's where i had most of my hair was on my cheeks like i if i didn't laser my face i would have had full-on sideburns that are like dark hair i used to because i have sideburns you're telling me like should i get rid of my sideburns no okay you don't have to get rid of that but like i used to have hair like all

right here that used to be dark so I would bleach it and like no one knew that and then when lasers came out I immediately was like I need my whole face lasered and like my upper lip and like some parts of my neck yeah wow I had to well Kim Kardashian talks about how she like they have dark hair too they lasered like their whole forehead the baby hairs of her forehead yeah I will say

Because also what I started to hate, makeup looks way different. You also have to do different makeup if you have hair on your face because it'll like stick to the hair and not your skin. Wow. Look at you guys. You're getting all the tea. I feel like these are the little things that people don't talk about that help your appearance, especially when you're wearing a lot of makeup. And also sometimes it is embarrassing to talk about like facial hair as a woman. Yeah.

One of my best friends who was Italian, I mean, she still is Italian in, in like end of middle school. Like she had a lot of hair, like her happy trail. It was like dark and she was like gorgeous. And these guys saw it and they started like bullying her, making fun of her. And I heard them talk about it, like not to her face. And I remember being like running home and being like, I have to shave my happy trail hair.

and that's like hair from your belly button like down yeah yeah and like mine was never that bad i guess hers was more intense but it's also like like these i didn't even shave my legs until like 12 i mean i i started okay this is i started shaving under my arms when i was in third grade because i literally had to because i started to be uncomfortable

My mom had to tell me. Yeah, like I wasn't wearing about that time. I wasn't wearing deodorant as a third grader to like go to school. So when I would sweat, it would like itch. And my mom was like, OK, like it's time for you to start shaving. And I was like the first of my friends because I think that's why you're funny.

Because I was always wondering, there's no way she's so good looking and funny, but now I realize you were a hairy wildebeest. Yeah. There was a point where I could have been the weird hairy girl in class. The hairy horse girl. Wait, what's... Oh, Sasquatch. That's what I was thinking. There's a documentary about him out as well. There's nothing worse than horse girl energy, but hairy girl energy is probably not great.

They also don't talk about like after all the shaving and stuff you do, like the aftermath, like you can have ingrown hairs. It could itch. It's red. Like men get it together. Yeah. Like we are doing so much stuff and they just have to roll out of bed and like try not to gaslight someone for a second. I know. I don't think.

Like there's just so many things that we have to do every day that they don't, that they wouldn't even be able to handle. And that's why God made it that like we have babies and they don't because they're just. Well, also that's why they should just pay on the first date. Like as a feminist queen, they can pay on the first date because there's a wage gap. Weird question. But like I've actually had this written on the Giggly Squad thing that I, and I haven't said it because I just like keep forgetting. And I've actually done like polls and research and,

I was talking to one of my friends and she was like, oh my God, like I will like scream in my pillow if that happens. Like she was just like saying something. And I was like, have you ever actually done that? And she was like, scream into my pillow? She was like, yeah. Are you kidding? Have you not screamed into your pillow? And I was like, no, I haven't. And then a couple weeks later, it randomly came up again with like other people.

And I said to like these other people, I was like, do you scream in your pillow? And my one friend was like, are you kidding? Yes. Like you ever get so frustrated? And I was like, no, but now I want to try it. So I had to ask you, have you ever screamed into your pillow?

I love that you're literally doing social studies out in these streets. Yeah. So I just realized that I'm literally an annoying frat boy. I will punch my pillow. That's what my brother said because I pulled him too. He's like, I'm not a big screamer, but I've punched my pillow before. Like, I'm like, I'm not dumbass. I'm not going to punch the wall, but I do punch something and I'll punch my pillow. I'll cry into my pillow every night. I feel like I've never like...

I've never done like a full on therapeutic scream and I think I'm due for one. I feel like that won't feel good. Like if I'm going to yell, we're Italian. I want to be fucking heard. I don't want to go. If you scream into a pillow and no one hears it, did you even scream into the pillow? Let's be honest. I don't think Italians scream into pillows.

We just do like a naturally loud voice all the time. And it equates to one scream into a. Yeah. Like I never get I never get the feeling of like, wow, I got to let a good scream out. But like I do get the feeling of like I need to let a good cry out.

Yes, I was about to say, like, I'm less of an anger person. I'm more of a crier. Like, if I'm really frustrated, I cry. Yeah, same. This is, like, there's no easy way to transition this. I'm getting a lot of DMs asking what you think about the no pants look going around town. Oh, like the tights and, like, skinny, or, I mean, like, tiny, tiny shorts. I think it's sick. I love it. No, I don't even think it's tiny, tiny shorts. I think it's, like, a one-piece look.

Okay, the like bodysuit version of it, I think is like a tad bit extreme because or maybe that's just me in terms of like, I don't think I'd be feel comfortable enough to like sit at a restaurant with no pants on. But like if it's like the tiny shorts and tights and you have like a lot like a long coat that you're wearing out to I think you I think it's a you have to be brave and bold. And I do say this to you.

Sometimes in terms of wearing like weird things or like really, really new trends that haven't hit like mainstream stores and like only celebrities are wearing them. It is very intimidating to wear those kind of outfits. And I think that's one of the number one reasons why I do love New York City. You can wear anything at any time.

There's no sense of like, I look too dressed up for this place because you could have just come from literally anywhere or you're on your way to literally anywhere. It's literally more embarrassing to be seen wearing something that everyone's wearing. Yeah, like I feel like New York City is very, is way more ahead than,

In certain like fashion aspects and other places in the country like okay perfect example like I'm not going to be in South Carolina and see people wearing like loafers and like knee-high socks and like pleated skirts but if I went in New York City like there's probably three people out at a bar wearing that.

Well, I feel like New York as the fashion capital of the world is people like trying out new trends and like the trends hit other places later. Oh my God, we sound so New York snobbish right now. Yeah, we do. What's it like being an elitist New York piece of shit? Amazing. Great. Feels great. Today I had an I love New York moment because I went to get like, I actually went to get a facial today.

And it's literally in like a nook above a bodega and you go in and it's like gorgeous and it was an amazing facial. And then you go downstairs and there's literally like a dead rat outside and I'm like, I love New York. Like it's the hidden gems for me. The juxtaposition. The smell of piss.

They say that L.A. is a shitty heaven and New York is a fun hell. And let's be honest. Yeah. I love a fun. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks.

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Because apparently sobriety is really in for the new year. Yeah. And I feel like I've never thought about what celebs are sober because it's not like something you talk about all the time. Right. Natalie Portman is sober. No way. I didn't know that. Wait, what did you say to the Southern people about dry January? National dry gin martini month.

when it doesn't rain. Yeah. Like people are not alcoholics in the South. People are like, they're really good at what they do. You know? No, but people in the South, they're just higher functioning alcoholics. I feel like in the North, like in the North, you know, when someone is like an alcoholic, you're like, dude, your skin is all red. Like you're bloated. Like in the South, it's just calm. Everyone's sunburned. Everyone's sunburned. It's,

They get away with it more easily. It's really wild. Yeah, the lifestyle is easier. Where in New York, you have to be places quick. The guy's two minutes late. They're like, he's an alcoholic. Dax Shepard is sober. Yep, I knew that one. Kristen Bell isn't sober. That'll cause a fight. Or maybe it's just me and Des. I'm not sober, but I don't wake up and I'm like, let's go to the bar or I can't have fun today.

Tyler, the creator, sober. I can literally have since turning 30, I can have one alcoholic drink or I throw up. Yeah, we each had like two drinks a night and you were like, I need to go vomit. And I was like, I threw up in Durham. I threw up in Durham and I threw up in Charleston. But you're a thrower upper. I am a shitter. I am such an anxious shitter.

Then also when I think like, oh, I can't drink because like I'll throw up. I end up throwing up because I'm nervous about throwing up. Yeah, you manifest the throw up. It's so bad. Do you know some people have like a phobia of throwing up? Yeah, well, they shouldn't be friends with me because I'm like, oops, I've been nervous for 10 minutes today. I'm probably going to vomit. When you say I'm going to vom, you mean it. Zac Efron is sober. Mm-hmm.

Bradley Cooper is sober. I mean, it's literally Tyra Banks is sober. Wow, I didn't know Bradley Cooper was sober. Jada Pinkett Smith is sober. Okay, I'm trying to, everyone that you've named I feel like also has very good skin. Christina Ricci, gorgeous skin, is sober. Naomi Campbell is sober. Lana Del Rey is sober. Lucy Hale is sober.

Does it say when they became sober? Like how long they've been sober? Lucy Hale, it says in 2017, her decision to embrace sober life started when she decided to chop off most of her hair. We didn't even talk about your best friend copying my hair. She is probably trying to like just sneak in one day and be on Giggly Squad and like you think that it's me.

Because she's trying to get close to you. I know. It's, like, her, like, weird obsession. But, like, just be nice to her. You know? She thinks you're cool, which is a compliment. But this is my thing. If this is going to go the way the, like...

Nail trend went with her like glazed donut nails every single girl in the New York City is getting an appointment this week to cut their hair short yeah, and then Everyone's gonna have your hair cut. I know keep it because you look so good in it, or do you have to change now? I'm really stressed about it This is the one thing I will say all of my DMS are you're making me want to cut my hair and I'm going to say

I love having short hair. I think it's so much easier, but I have naturally very, very straight hair. So unless you have really straight hair, it's not going to look the way you think it's going to look. Like I can get out of the shower, let it air dry and I am fine. If you have even like a wave or a curl or anything to your hair, cutting it short is

Most of the time I feel like you're gonna hate it Also if you deal with any kind of frizz Like I deal with frizz and I cut my hair short once And it ruined my life Yeah like I can't hold Like it'll go Miss Frizzle

Yeah, so I think people really need to think about it. But I will say I do love having short hair. And I feel like you can style it just as much as, like, girls with long hair. But, like, when I saw Madison on Saturday, her hair made me want, like, super long, luscious hair. She's like a mermaid. She's a little mermaid. But I feel like you're at the point where you do extensions when you feel like it. Yeah. I need to get, like, a good...

A good extensions person. Yeah, like a really good hair extensions. But then everyone's like hair extensions ruin your hair. Oh. And I used to love my clip-ins. Oh, we love a clip moment. But I don't know. I've had the same hairstyle since I was born. So don't ask me hair advice. No, but you switch up your color. You go darker and lighter. Like I don't switch up my color ever, but you switch up.

Well, yeah, your hair is freaky, like, perfect and heavy. And I just also think factor in your jawline because, like, I, as a gorgeous woman with a soft jaw, I love how my long hair, like, goes around my face. Yeah, like, it's angled. Like, think of the qualities of your face you like to magnify. If you cut your hair short, everyone's just, like, staring at, like, your jaw. It does make your face rounder, I feel like. Like, when I cut my hair, I feel like I see an immediate difference in, like,

the like it makes my cheeks it makes it look like my cheeks are like rounder than I feel like when I have long hair I don't know but also hair grows back it's not like a Pete Davidson tattoo are you ever gonna dye your hair red I want to go like copper but I told you my hair my hair salon colorist lady straight up was like

you'd look bad with it. Really? Since you have brown hair, would you have to bleach your hair blonde then dye it red? I think I'd have to bleach it. Then there was also this thing trending on TikTok where people get this like red, like temporary color they put on. Yes, like the henna stuff. I don't know why I think I'm 16 years old and I like want to do it because I know she'd kill me. I've seen that. I feel like, Hannah, honestly, I'm not saying this just because like I want to try it, but I feel like I could do it for you.

I've dyed people's hair before. I've dyed my mom's hair out of a box before. I was actually born to be a New Jersey hairstylist and I think in a different timeline I am. I want to go red. I want something new. I feel like I need to have a moment. I've cut people's hair before. I've cut my cousin's hair before like twice. I cut my own hair and I got yelled at for like three hours by my hairstylist. She was so disappointed in me.

I think we should dye my hair temporary red. I think so too. And I think we should vlog it. So long story short, every single celebrity is sober. Sober. I think there's a world in which one day, I mean, I feel like I practically did dry January and I didn't even notice. It's so easy to dry January when you sleep all the time. Yeah. Like when you don't socialize, it's so easy.

It's so fucking easy. Oh my God. I realized like I'm losing my voice from this weekend. We like barely could get our shit together to record this episode. Yeah. But like we did it. Yeah. We, we,

We're so happy that we made it through. Meeting the Gigglers in person was so amazing. And we have shows that we like didn't even announce. Like we're going to Nashville. Yep. You know, Houston, Dallas, Austin, Phoenix, Denver, Chicago, Dallas, San Diego, Philly,

Huntington, Minneapolis, and Chicago. So check out, click the link, go to giggly squad.com. Giggly dash squad. So I can't come to a live shows. They're the most fun, so much fun, but we need to take a nap. Um, page. I love you. Gigglers. I love you. And we'll talk later. Thanks for giggling with us. Bye.