Giggling about snakes, security, and singing
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You know, as a busy mom, there are a few ways you can build strong muscles. You could get a gym membership which you'll never use, buy all sorts of expensive equipment for your garage that you'll forget you have, pay for a personal trainer that you'll never have time to meet with, and buy a fitness watch that only makes you sad every time you look at it.

Or you could go for an easy run and try some milk, which helps build strong muscles. Visit gonna need milk.com for more info. And please don't make yourself sad. Okay. Gigglers. I have a bit of a cocktail revelation to share. Hannah and I are obsessed with espresso martinis and have found the secret ingredient for them. It's Mr. Black. Mr. Black is a cold brew coffee liqueur made from a hundred percent specialty grade coffee and vodka. It's a very good coffee.

It's unlike any coffee liqueur. It's not too sweet and it makes the perfect espresso martini. I'm all about cultivating a vibe in my new apartment and the first thing I make whenever people come over is an espresso martini with Mr. Black.

Mr. Black carefully selects and roasts their coffee, and the cold brew process gives a delicious, unique flavor. Try Mr. Black for the ultimate espresso martini at their website, mrblack.co. That's M-R-B-L-A-C-K dot C-O. Please drink responsibly. Mr. Black Coffee Liqueur, 25% alcohol, by volume, Diageo, New York, New York. Sup, gigglers? Carrie, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.

We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.

We're so excited to announce our holiday merch. It just dropped. GigglySquad.com. Okay, let me tell you what we did. We have a black on black comfortable sweat set. When I say comfortable, it's like it's light, but it's also soft, but it's also warm, but it's not too heavy. I think it's the best set we've done. And it's black on black. Can't go wrong. And then Paige dropped her beta blockers hat.

Beta blockers, which I'm obsessed with. Then we did a gray set, a little preppy, a little cute. And my favorite tea of all time, the Daphne and Butter tea. We used actual photos of Daphne and Butter and it's such a cute white baby tea. Wear it with jeans. Honestly, wear it with anything. And then we got like a unisex baggier astrology tea that says Giggly Sun, Hannah Moon, Page Rising and a book.

that says admin on it because I don't know how we haven't made that yet. So go check GigglySquad.com and grab some merch. And this week in the newsletter, we are going to put our favorite Giggly Squad small businesses that gigglers recommend or are run by gigglers. So make sure you're subscribed to newsletter because we love to promote our small businesses this holiday season. It's time to take up space to giggle today. No.

No. I'll tell on you right now. Four. Singing in the green room. Popular. Okay, look. Me and Adele, I've always felt very aligned with her. Adele was saying how musicals aren't usually her thing. She so appreciates musical theater people. She just can't imagine how they do it, blah, blah, blah. That's exactly how I feel. The marketing got me. I don't think I made it clear that I was obviously going to see the movie. I'm going to see it.

No, friends who never post Instagram stories crying are posting Instagram stories crying. So that got me intrigued. But also, I'm that kind of person. Like, I don't want to cry. Like, I'm not paying money for you to make me cry. Like, I'm already teetering. Like, I could cry at any second. I don't want to go there. See, I love it as a challenge. Like Ozempic, like going to Ozempic and being like, I'm going to eat through it. Charles Barkley was like...

I ate right through the Ozempic. So you want to watch Wicked and not cry? Well, here's the thing. I, for whatever reason, like I feel like I don't cry that much in movies because like I can compartmentalize that like it's a movie. Like, so I feel like I like going into it already. I'm like, I'm not attached because I know it's a movie. But sometimes like there are certain movies that like it'll just I will like tear up.

I'm trying to think if I teared up in Barbie. I literally can't remember. I think I did. I didn't because Des was trying to sleep next to me at a hotel and he was like, why are they so high pitch? He kept saying all these comments and I was like, you're the reason we're having this movie. Anyway, I had one of my delusional moments. I had a delusional moment and

Are we well? No. We're not in like a good headspace, but we're having so much fun on tour. And look, let's be honest. I'm a personality hire. I'm trying to keep the vibes up. We're fighting for our lives for vibes. We are having fun on tour. But like, here's the thing. The only part of tour that legitimately sucks is...

is the travel like waking up day after day and going to the airport you start to feel like you're going crazy like you're living the same day over and over because our schedule is so the same well we thought we were crazy today because i'm sitting down the plane lands in la guardia like my my water literally falls off

And then I'm spacing out. We touch down. We touch down. I start spacing out. I look outside. We're in the air. We're back up. I think I'm hallucinating or like I think I've lost my mind. I'm like, I'm just gonna stay quiet. I don't want to freak anyone out. Then you text me. You go, what the fuck was that? And I was like, oh, no, we're both hallucinating.

The guy touched down and then went right back up in the air. I've never had that happen to me. Apparently, it's because of the winds, but he didn't even explain it. No, I've never had that happen to me. And I immediately got scared and looked to the dad that was sitting next to me. And he must have realized I was scared because he was like, we're just going to circle around. Yeah, it took 25 minutes. But anyway, the reason we're bringing this up is because...

i don't care how old a meme is if it's funny it's funny and that's part of being a giggler we don't judge what makes you laugh as long as you're laughing someone's young so page this weekend i don't know what started it you started doing the kanye west quote can you do it it's so good gotcha

it's so good so we're doing that and then we get on stage and I say something I go gotcha and Paige starts dying laughing the audience like doesn't know what's going on so we're like okay this is like it's not even in the zeitgeist this joke like it really just seems like we're two crazy people so then the plane the plane lands and goes back up and Paige texts me she goes what just happened and I just wrote gotcha no

I think here's like a very niche part of Giggly Squad Live. There will be times where just me and Hannah are laughing. And I think that's important to say.

No one laughs and you go, that was so funny. Okay, guys, we're going to Giggly Squad too. Like we also want to have fun. And so like sometimes if we're not giggling, no one's giggling. Sometimes we do have to throw like a very inside joke to just like say hey to the other person. Like it's not that it's not funny. It's just like we couldn't give all the context in the moment.

We have like PowerPoint, so there's structure to it. But every now and then we'll try to add a tag just to make the other one laugh that like we don't normally say. So it's like way funnier for us than people who are just watching. Anyway, so before the show, we're all watching Wicked like promos and Cynthia is doing this amazing note, this war cry, right?

And when I tell you I've never seen Wicked, like I couldn't tell you the plot. But I hear this note and everyone's freaking out. Oh, see, I could tell you the plot. I've done my research. Well, you went even though you slept like you literally went. Yeah. So I've never seen it.

I mean, I know it's about witches and it's, like, related to Oz. I feel like I'm actually going to love it because I love movies with, like, witches and I love, like, pretty things and, like, teen knobs. It's fabulous. Yeah, I love, like, shit like that. I just love things that are successful. Like, I love that people are saying it's, like, really high quality. But the same way how, like, I see a Michelin star chef put together a meal and I'm like, I could fucking...

put some different things together and make a little like circle with, with the sauce. I could do it. You just want to make a circle with green sauce. And literally I went to college. I could figure it out. And then they're like, Oh, orange with beef. We've never seen this before. So I, in my head, I'm like, I could hit that note like fully. I'm like, I could hit that note and I'm going to tell page and I'm going to do it on camera. I'm going to hit this note and everyone's going to be like, Oh my God. Deep down in your soul.

You genuinely thought that you could hit that? I'm not speaking past tense. I still think I can hit it. I know with training. If you had a little bit of practice, yep. But I think I could accidentally hit the note.

Like they say a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. Every now and then. Even a broken clock is right once a day. Maybe we do, the next time we do something that me and you are trying, maybe we get you a singing lesson and we give you like one hour with a professional vocalist and we see what she says, if there's any potential there, if she can work with that and to see if you can hit that note.

So we posted the video. It was like a six minute video. Grace was laughing, which was distracting to me and my vocal cords because they tighten up when I giggle. Also, there was no warm up. We didn't like people need to factor that in. And of course, the sound in the room, like.

wasn't great um yeah that was it you were pretending to be glinda and i was alphaba and we're holding each other um at one point you were getting jealous of me because you could tell my potential and that was kind of negative energy towards my vocal no absolutely and that's on me and that's on me

Wait, I want to say one other thing about Wicked. I am like back in a phase and I haven't been in this phase since like 2016 where I like am obsessed with Ariana Grande again, maybe even like 2014. I'm like back to being obsessed with her. Well, everyone is. I know. And I jumped on that train too. And I'm actually I'm starting to like not even be mad at her hair and makeup.

So someone says a man tick tock that was iconic. They were like with all the drama and shit going down with Ariana Grande. Like remember she was so hated when she dropped yes and and all that stuff. She's like it's so iconic that she shut all the haters up just by being so good.

No, that's actually so fucking powerful. I do have respect. People are separating the artists for real. I mean, her SNL performance. Wait, what were people mad at her for? Oh, she stole that man's husband. I mean, I couldn't believe it. She stole Spongebob from she stole that man's husband or she stole that woman's husband with a newborn child.

What has been cute is seeing, she was talking about how she was on the Sweetener Tour and she heard that there might be an audition and she's like, I would leave the Sweetener Tour today to start training for that. And it started to make me realize, like, we don't see the hard work. Mm-mm.

differential of like a superstar and just someone who's viral for a couple years. Like respect to Taylor and Ariana and Adele. Like they're putting insane work in that we don't see. Yeah. Because they're not posting it. If somebody asked me, I mean, there was definitely multiple times in the past couple of years that I was like, where the fuck is Ariana Grande? She was working. She was working her ass off. She was going to leave her.

tour that was making her millions and millions of dollars to start training to for just to get the audition i want to love something like that well i do have to say actually i love giggly squad like that i would drop anything to do giggly squad yeah giggly squad daphne and butter it holds us down no truly you know what i thought today when i left you for a brief few hours

I've spent more time with you than anyone in my life and I have to say that you feel the same right like have you ever spent more time with someone other than me but like I guess you were on teams you were on a lot of I was on teams where like you wake up you see the girls at 6 a.m you go to class you see them again at 3 they're your roommates you don't care about them anymore right

No, I mean a couple of the girls on the team still follow Ghibli Squad. Shout out Alina, JoJo, and Chupa, and Chapaya. But do you think I'm up there with them as in terms of like how many hours we've spent together in the past seven years? Well, you're my best friend. Okay. You're my best friend, period. Thank you. I needed to hear that. No, I love you. Why haven't you asked me to try the note again?

Because Hannah, it's just I I'm supportive in everything you do. And I truly I truly the way I think of you in my mind is that you can do anything. Here's the thing, though. I do limit those sections in which I put you in like she can do anything like funny. You could do it acting. You can do it.

athletics you can do it I would even like teeter on cooking because like that's basically just reading a recipe so like yeah she could do it when it comes to singing which I think is a real blessing that you have when you're born look you don't

You don't choose who you're attracted to. And I don't think you choose to be a singer. Okay? This is one of those things in life where it's like, the one thing I can't do, I want. And I believe that the only thing between me and Cynthia is it's mental. She wanted it more? No, okay. I think that's toxic.

Wait, I actually feel like I'm so offending the singing community right now. Wait, a giggler commented and I was peeing my pants. She goes, this just set back the musical theater. Like, it's 10 years. Someone was like, Hannah's the confidence of a man that says he could fly a plane. No, it's... I love it, though. Okay, can I just try it once for the gigglers? Hannah, make it quick. Okay. Because it took them... Okay, wait. Hmm.

I mean, that was actually better. I'm not going to lie. That was better. But like... It got stuck. I'm going to say something really controversial and mean. You don't have a pretty singing voice. Like you don't have a nice voice. My brother said that I sound like a whale. Like a whale dying. You sound like some type of animal like in heat. Not that I was dead. No. Not that I'm lost. No.

Absolutely not. The funniest part of this whole thing is my mom is a professional jazz singer. No, I was just going to say your mom is the actual voice of an angel. So I called her and I was like, what happened to singing lessons? And she was like, we brought you and we were all excited. And then I was like, yeah. And then afterwards, no one brought it up again.

And I was like, was I that bad at eight years old? And she was like, you were just so good at other things. You're born with it or not. No, I say this all the time. Like I had, I did not have participation trophy parents. I had, I had parents that were like, look, you're not good at it. Okay. So if you want to quit, we're not going to be upset with you. But also like that's people.

I'm sick of this not quitting culture. Like, if I didn't quit other things, I wouldn't be here right now. No, I'm so for quitting shit.

yeah when i was younger i begged my mom to play softball i was like mom if you don't put me in softball my life is over like you have equivalent to me trying to do musical theater why did you want to do softball like your friend was on it my friend was on it and i wanted i wanted the uniform like i truly wanted the uniform you thought it was like chic and preppy i thought it was adorable and so i did one year of softball and i said don't ever don't ever

Put me on a fucking team like that ever again. I hated every minute of that. That was the worst experience of my life. My mom was like, I freaking told you. Like, I knew you weren't going to like it. So, normalized quitting. Mental health moment, though, like, with sports, it's always, like, it's going to be hard. It's going to be difficult. Whoever can push through will be the champion. So, you have trouble deciphering, like,

is this just not my path or do i just have to like suck it up more than the person next to me who's running you have to really want something true and like i love wanting something that's what keeps me alive hand to me that's why you actually don't want all your dreams to come true because then like no if i'm not working toward anything i'm like so bored and then that's when i get mischievous are you a cat that's when i shit on the rug

That's when I push over everything on the table. That's a thought I recently had about...

any time that I was obsessed with results like oh I want to win the big 10 championship or oh I want to have the number one whatever album in the country it always made me like not actually as good at what I was doing because I put so much pressure on it and when you're only caring about result you don't have fun either so you end up not doing well and not having fun so it's like find something you really love the chase and you love the journey of it and you love the

process and then like you ever see sometimes people get awards and they have that look like yeah I knew it it's because like they were so entrenched in the process that they were like there's no other way yeah instead of just like being like I want to be the best it's like no like love what you're doing yeah you know I kind of had to like start to feel like that on tour like after my panic attack I had to like remember like wait I love to do this yeah

Yeah. Well, sometimes people have to, like, re-fall in love with stuff. Because you started Giggly Squad because we loved talking to each other. And then so much other stuff was going on that you got lost in the sauce, as Italians say. Absolutely. And you know what your brain said to you? Gotcha. Gotcha. I just think it's so pertinent for so many different conversations. It's so important. That meme is so important to my everyday life. Like, I just...

I love it. Also the whole thing of, um, like we can't be managed. It was from the Kanye West quote and someone tweet and someone recently sent the tweet and said, Kanye is a giggler. Oh, like that. He got it from us.

Wait, that's so good. I feel like if Kanye did listen to a couple episodes, though, he could potentially be a giggler. Who knows? I do have to say one more thing about our live shows. We are going to Mohegan Sun and Cleveland. I was hanging out with one of the security guards after the show in...

Yeah. I feel like give more context before just starting out with that sentence. I was hanging out with one of the security guards after the show. No, no, no. You were being walked to your room after the show. It was maybe like a 30 second encounter that you had. You didn't go to some app. I was vibing, smoking a cigar.

talk about life no he was dropping me off my room and he was like by the way i was kind of scared tonight and i was like first of all i don't have i can't hold space for your emotions right now because i don't care and he was like no like i was thinking if one of the girls got out of control like and you guys are revving them up like they're so pissed off at men like 40 minutes into the show like and i tried to like remove one of them he's like i don't know if i could do it and i was like

And that's on you, babe. I heard him. He was like, I'm thinking, okay, there's one of me. There's 2000 angry girls out there. I have zero chance. I love the self-awareness. And I was like, that is, he goes, I mean, I was laughing. It was really funny. But like part of me was like, I don't know what I'm going to do. Cause these girls, I told him, even though they get blackout, they are swift. No, they can outsmart any bodyguard. Yep. Absolutely. And they can't be, they can't be managed.

On this tour, we're sponsored by Neutrogena. So when we were on tour, I fell asleep and Paige pulled out her Neutrogena collagen bank and gave me a facial. I feel like people aren't understanding that when we're on tour, we're on so many planes, so we're dehydrated, so we need extra moisturizer. That's why I love the Neutrogena collagen bank. I also put the collagen bank SPF 30 on you earlier today because...

I just feel like you're a little bit dry and we're going to be in Florida. So like we need the SPF.

Yeah, it's like 75 degrees and SPF is super important. My mom told me. And the collagen bank just like builds on the collagen you already have, which is why I love it because it's working with what you have. It's plumping your skin. It's making it glow. And also I love things that are fragrance free and it works for all skin types. Hannah always is bragging that she has combination skin and yeah.

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That's M-E-D-I-K and the number eight dot U-S. Shop now before it's gone. No, this was the first time we went to Florida and actually was so fun. We went to a, what was that place called? Croc Encounter. A Croc Encounter. And let me tell you, we encountered some. We encountered. I'm just, here's the one thing I will say about tour that has nothing to do with the live show.

I love that we've been going and doing stuff in like random cities. Like it truly has made, it's made it so much better. It's crazy to make a memory. No. We just discovered activities and we're like, honestly, low key underrated. Wait.

Low-key got a high on life, which was nuts. Well, because the first day we just slept all day in Tampin. In my head, I'm like, I could go outside. I could go for a walk, but I don't know what's going to happen. I don't think people understand the trauma bond that me, you, and Grace have for...

From just like being together this many days in a row, being together this many hours, dealing with like certain situations that are... I mean, we almost died at one point on this tour. Multiple times. Multiple times. And so I just feel like so connected to you both. Wait, can I do a quick shout out? Yeah. I recently found out that Amy Poehler is a giggler and listens to Giggly Squad.

knows all our stories no so i feel like we're close to retirement forget about wicked the true fairy godmother which is amy poehler said i think your guys are funny and that's so like done see ya daphne we're going to bring gotcha wait imagine if she just commented and was like gotcha gotcha oh my god wait speaking of like celebs that we love mm-hmm

I mean, I know she's doing press right now, so she's everywhere. But like, I would lay my life down for Kiki Palmer. I love her. I met her when I was working for Betches back in the day. We had to film a sketch and she was like, could not be cooler, nicer, chiller, funnier, smarter, like vibey, kind, could not say enough good things. I...

I had zero clue how old she was. I literally could not even ballpark guess in my mind. Like I was like, I have no idea. And it was one of those moments where I looked up how old she was and she's 31. She's a year younger than me. And I had a moment where I was like, oh my God, I like look up to her so much. And like, even though she's younger than me, we're basically the same age, but like I just find her to be like,

so like i don't even know mature isn't even a good enough word to describe her she i feel like she's lived so many lives i feel like she's lived so many lives yeah she's kind of like an she has this like old soul energy but also like so youthful like she's like just a crazy aura and she can do everything anything and she just she's a mom now she just had a baby

Everything. Like I feel like people don't give her enough credit. I know she's promoting a book right now, but like she's also an amazing actress and an amazing singer. Can I add on a celebrity that I'm obsessed with? Yes. Rita Moreno. Who the heck is that? She's the star of West Side Story.

Oh, you've talked about her before. You love her. Yeah, so she's... If you go on Delta, there's a documentary about her that's fucking unreal. But she recently was on, I think it was like Fallon or Seth, one of the late night shows. And she dated for eight years Marlon Brando. You would love Marlon Brando. Do you know who Marlon Brando is? Wait, let me Google this lady. Who? He's like... What's her name? Rita Moreno. Rita Moreno. R-I-T-A Moreno. Oh, okay. Yeah.

such an icon hilarious she dated marlon brando for eight years and apparently he like terrorized her life like he was the hottest most successful actor he's like our like brad pitt yes he loved her but she literally was like my life stopped during those years because i was just like

like obsessed with obsessed with this man and he was obsessed with me but like i wasn't happy with him so she tells a story this is so fucking iconic she found out that he was cheating on her she found underwear in his bedroom no so she leaves wait i just looked up a picture of him when he was young and he's

so handsome it actually hurts my brain no like he's the guy so she's all upset and crying because she just found out love her life is cheating on her again and she gets a call from the colonel the colonel

He represents Elvis. Okay. And he goes, hey, Elvis saw you on this, at this restaurant in LA, whatever. He wants to take you to dinner. What about Priscilla? He was single at the time. But I like that you're looking out. Thanks. She goes, actually, yeah. All these people are dead, though. I don't think Priscilla's dead. Priscilla's not, actually. You went full Martha Stewart. Well, she's dead, so...

Wait, me and Hannah literally did that in the car today. We were talking about someone and Hannah was like, well, he's dead. I was like, he's very much alive. She was like, to me, he's dead. That is the new, like, I don't know her. We just go, well, thank God he's dead.

Wait, I've been wanting to do the challenge, the TikTok challenge, where you, like, hold up a saying that you say, but it has nothing to do with, like, the conversation. And you have to, like, guess. The other friend has to, like, guess. Like, we say this when we hate someone. Oh, well, he's dead. I actually have it all set up. We'll do that TikTok. Add it to the list. So anyway, Reed Moreno went out with Elvis. And he...

Marlon Brando found out. I don't know how they found out in the 40s or 50s or whenever this was. I didn't even know they had... Carrier pigeon. How did they communicate? A pigeon.

So he finds out he's freaking out and like threw a chair and she was like, and I was so happy about it. And the like the crowd went nuts. I'm obsessed. And she's just iconic. Also, I just want to preference. I know I just threw out some random dates. Anything before 1990. I don't fucking know. Like when people are like, oh, in the 1700s. That's just I have no fucking clue. Also, recently someone was like, when did you start Giggly Squad? Like,

And I was like five years ago. And they're like, do you know what month? Who are these people that are like, oh yeah, March of 2016. Like that's crazy to me. Okay. Low key. I feel like I'm pretty good. Like I don't remember when anything was ever. I'm not good, but I do know that I know more than you. I couldn't, I believe you. I couldn't tell you like, you know, when someone's like winter of 2023. Nope. I couldn't tell you. Like,

like things that happened in the world or like things that happened in your own life both like when people like when do you get married i was like 2022 in the vicinity in the summer we started giggly squad in 2020 right in june of 20 no it's difficult it's difficult september of 2020

You know that game show with Travis Kelsey, how they're like, are you smarter than a fifth grader? I would just be like, no. No, I'm not. Also, it's not like obviously the fifth graders are studying like worse. So like I'm not going to beat a fifth grader at their passion.

This fifth grader is obsessed with lizards. I'm not going to know more about lizards than this fifth grader. Smartest fifth grader in the world would whoop my ass. I think not a sentence that's brought up enough in this conversation. Like, okay, well, they're studying, so that's, like, unfair.

We're in the process of learning it right now. So that's cheating. If I don't study anything, I will know anything. No, dude. If I, I don't know what's going on with me. If I don't write it down, didn't happen. But again, which is my crazy delusion. Like I'll literally be like, I can't, would never win against a fifth grader in a quiz, but I do. I'm delusional. I think I could be like Taylor Swift level songwriter. Like I don't think writing songs is hard.

It's rhyming. That's crazy though. Okay. As a creative, I used to love writing poems. Oh, so then maybe you could. But like writing poems is not hard. You just express yourself. You're just like, I'm sad because he looked at me that way and I was hoping you weren't going to say. I know that I definitely couldn't because I feel like when I got down to doing it, I'd be like, this is way harder than people think. And like,

Here's the other thing. I don't do, well, that's one thing. And I don't like doing things that like I don't like doing. Like here's the thing with me. I am, I'm an extremely, I feel like decisive person when it comes to a lot of aspects in my life. So like if I don't like something, I don't like it and I don't,

want to do it like cats you didn't like it for six years yeah then you had a little bit of a mental break next you know cat was on your lap and then you're like you're just like my brother my brother said he hated chocolate like his whole childhood no something happened that like ticked him off and he's like i don't fuck with it and he like i think he liked that we were like you're crazy you like chocolate just taste it and he's like no i don't like it yeah you and daniel are the same i have to get to things on my own time

Yeah, eventually he tasted chocolate and he was like, this is good. How did we get here? No, how did we get here? Wait, can we talk about when we got in the Uber at like 1 a.m. in Orlando? And we yapped the whole time? No, and the guy offered us gum or water.

Okay, wait, let me set the scene. Let me set the scene. We're in Orlando, Florida. Okay, we just performed two shows. So it's like 12. We have to wait for the merch line to be done so we can get like the iPad so that we can get in the car to drive to Tampa. So we're waiting around, waiting around. We finally get in the car at like what? Like 2 a.m.? It was late. Maybe like 1.30. We get in the car. It's me, Hannah, and Grace.

We say to the driver, like, we're so sorry we're late. Like, it's only an hour and a half drive. He's like, totally fine, whatever. It's like a, not an Uber. It's like a regular, like a car service. And so he took- I love how you're building it up. I'm building it up. Give me more details. This nice man, nice gentleman dressed in a suit grabs a bag of gum, turns around to the backseat to me and Hannah and goes, do you want any gum? Can I offer you any gum, any refreshments? Hannah goes, oh, I'm good on the gum, sir.

I'm really trying to slow down tonight. I go, we're going to slow down. He didn't offer you cocaine. He goes, do you want to come or water? I go, sorry, we're slowing down. Sorry, we're trying to put ourselves down for the night and excessive chewing would defeat the purpose. It's funny because at the time it was so funny saying it out loud now. I'm like, I don't know what we're going to do next.

That's because we've legit been delusional. When you said he didn't offer us cocaine, that's when I lost it. And then... Well, because then he started laughing too. So then I knew we got you. You know when you... You want... Gotcha.

Actually, when we get the Uber driver to laugh, there's no better feeling. No, I was just going to say, I'm not trying to be a pick-me girl. Like, I'm truly not trying to sound pick-me. But there is a satisfaction when an older man laughs at your... Now I get why you married does. When an older man laughs at your jokes, I'm sorry, I'm just going to say it. There is another level of like... Because there's a challenge there. There's no reason why he should. Right.

There's no universe that he should find us relatable. If there's an older man in the crowd at Giggly Squad Live, we do become obsessed because that is a challenge for us to get them to laugh. Like we already know that the gigglers are funny, smart, quick-witted and like get what's going on.

But also like when the old man thinks we're great, I'm like, wow, like that woman found a gem. This one guy in the front was like, yeah, I went to therapy and I was like, yeah, because you're older. And he's like, yeah, I'm like, is this your second marriage? And he's like, yeah. I'm like, yeah, you were pre-trained by your first wife. And I'm like, OK, was any other guy in Tampa? Has he ever gone to therapy besides this guy that was clearly court ordered? And he starts dying laughing.

And my daddy issues were healed. No, it was so good. Well, here's the other thing. In casinos, which I learned on stage, that the casinos will hold a certain amount of tickets for like walk-in people like at their casino. So like you could be there and be like, oh, I don't know what Giggly Squad is, but I'm going to go to it. So there were people there that had no idea what was going on. And you could tell by looking at them? Yes, and that just threw me off. The Giggly Squad shows...

Are all the hottest, most stylish, funniest, coolest. I'm a little biased, but like literally most successful, smartest women in that city. No, and truly they wear the cutest fucking outfits. So it's very clear when someone's not a giggler in the crowd. It's I'm like, are these the police? Like what's going on? Are we being tracked? Who told them we were here?

That's how I feel. Who let them in? I feel like we're having a party in our basement in high school and we're like, who told their freaking parents? But low-key, I love when just a simple middle-aged couple who looks like they've never even... They don't even know what... Queef is. What a queef is. They've never heard of...

No. And God bless them. Or fuck boys. And they stay the whole time and they leave smiling. That makes me feel warm. No, that makes me feel joy. This special segment presented by Nordstrom and ACAST Creative. Once my birthday comes, I feel like it's officially Thanksgiving time, which means it's basically holiday season, which means you... The year's over. The year's over. No.

Like what have we been doing all year? But we have to celebrate. You have to celebrate and it's time to get your holiday shopping. My strategy for holiday shopping, I don't like to go anywhere. I like to do all my online shopping. I like to do it in one place. That's why I love Nordstrom. They have free shipping, free returns and free store pickup, which makes it even easier. And I have it shipped to my parents' house so that when I get there, I can wrap all my gifts.

I'm really particular about what gift goes to what person, obviously. Nordstrom opened up in Midtown when I lived there, and it was insane. Like, I got everything for everyone in one trip. Well, it's easy at Nordstrom because they have gifts under $100. They have top brands. They have Nike, Uggs, Skims, Chanel. Mac. They basically have everything for everyone, whether it's kids.

kids on your list, your parents, your employees, like teacher gifts. My mom was always really big on teacher gifts. And obviously outside of holiday shopping for everyone that's on your list, there's also a ton of holiday parties. Nordstrom is the perfect place to get your holiday party looks. What are you wearing for the holidays? Honestly, I'm very still into the no pants, but tights like I need tights in every situation.

With like a large blazer? Yes, with an oversized blazer or something like that. And I just feel like Nordstrom is really good for stuff like that. It's so good. They have Reformation, Vince, Frame, Favorite Daughter. I love Favorite Daughter's like vest sets.

Alice and Olivia. And they have the fancy ones. They have Bottega Veneta. I feel like for the holidays, I also like to have fun with cute jackets, maybe a faux fur. Yeah, they pretty much have everything. So whether you need help finding the perfect gift or the perfect outfit, they've got you covered.

Even if you aren't sure what you want, they've got you covered. You can book an appointment with one of their stylists for free, and they'll help you create the perfect look or select the perfect gift. For the gifting, they have beauty and grooming gifts like a Dyson or La Mer. Honestly, I feel like that's great for gifting yourself. There's nothing I love more than when I'm shopping for everyone on my list, and then I also just throw in one thing for me, and it's usually a self-care item. They also have like...

comfy stuff like throw blankets or stuff for the home. Yeah, decorating your apartment or your house is... I'm talking about gifts for other people. Okay, sorry. I'm talking about gifts for my home. My home deserves a gift and I love decorating it. And they have like cute little different things at Nordstrom that you don't see everywhere else. Yeah. And because yeah, they curate it in a really like tasteful good way to tell you what to get from these brands. Also, if you're just looking for stocking stuffers, they have great stuff like

Sugarfina, Charlotte Tilbury, calendars, gift sets, chocolate, leather goods, jewelry. And they even have gift cards if you need something quick or want to give the gift of choice to someone who's usually hard to shop for. They have everything to make it fun. Thank you for listening to this segment brought to you in partnership with Nordstrom and ACAS Creative.

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You know, as a busy mom, there are a few ways you can build strong muscles. You could get a gym membership, which you'll never use, buy all sorts of expensive equipment for your garage that you'll forget you have, pay for a personal trainer that you'll never have time to meet with, and buy a fitness watch that only makes you sad every time you look at it.

Or you could go for an easy run and try some milk, which helps build strong muscles. Visit gonna need milk dot com for more info. And please don't make yourself sad. Oh, I actually have one more mental health moment. And I don't have credit for this. I don't know where I saw it, but it wasn't me who came up with it. How you know how people get triggered instead of finding your trigger. Find your glimmer.

okay glimmer is the opposite of trigger so it's like knowing the things that can instantly put you in a better mood and being aware of it could you name two right now let's say you love the smell of what are those flowers you like peonies hot take i don't think any flowers smell good wow gotcha gotcha

And that's crazy because for a minute my brand was like sending yourself flowers. I mean, I get flowers like every Sunday from my apartment. I fucking love them. But I've never smelled a flower and said, that smells so good. So you just like how they look? I like how they look. Then why don't you just get fake ones? Because that's tacky.

You know, I actually have fake ones from Amazon and it's the best thing I've ever done. Where are they? Yeah, but it depends on where they are. Like I put them in places that like I couldn't have fake flowers. Yeah, like I put a little purple flowers in the middle of like my dining room table that just look really... Yeah, that like you don't, you're not going in there every day like... No, and they're not like flower flowers. They're like little beads of whatever. No, in my last apartment, I had like a little fake flower set.

And my mom walked in and was like, you know. Yeah. I mean, I don't like the smell of any perfume. Really? I think it all smells chemical and like gets me nauseous. You don't wear any perfume. No. And if someone's wearing like a lot of perfume, I like I can't handle it. Well, it's like I can't smoke weed. I'm just like really sensitive. No, your body. So wait, I feel like I wear a lot of perfume.

But yours is I like you were like sweet. Like I were different kinds. Yeah. Like I like the ones that are like coconutty or like vanilla. I don't mind that. But yeah, some of these fucking crazy perfumes. Once I was at the US Open and the guy in front of me, his hair smelled so strong of whatever spray he put in. I was like, I have to leave. See, I love a smell.

I like the natural smell of Des's forehead. I've slept with some of the ugliest guys because they smelled amazing. No, but that's literally Old Spice. That's not them. I'm like, gotcha. They go, gotcha. Anyway, we have to find our glimmers, even if it's ugly men that smell good. So it's just like reframing your perspective to be, instead of being like, oh, that's offensive. That's offensive. Being like, oh.

that was such a cute moment of that child who smiled at me when we made eye contact you're like sometimes i'm bad at the little things in life and focusing on your glimmers i did just see a tiktok about a guy did research what do you think is it better to have more positive thoughts or less negative thoughts christ it seems like a trick question do i want more she's never not funny

Okay, do I want more positive thoughts or less negative thoughts? Like what do you think is better for your mental health? I think I need more positive thoughts. But the answer is less negative thoughts. And Des was like, what kind of science do they do? Apparently they did a study, but they said it's better to actually have less negative thoughts. And I didn't listen to the rest of it. Great. But I do think...

That makes sense because like it's a concept of like you can't always be happy, but like content is like should be what you want. Well, I'd rather be content. Okay. Like what about for the people that aren't having thoughts? They're living the best life. Like I sometimes like I when I think about like being anxious, I don't think I actively have like negative thoughts about myself.

But I don't have I don't think I necessarily have like active positive thoughts about when I'm anxious. I'm in like a thought spiral where my brain will not shut up. Like I literally can't be in the moment because I'm fighting like so many. I'm trying to figure out so many problems that I invented in my head.

I go very worst case scenario. Like all of my, I would say, negative thoughts are all like fear based of like, what if this happens? And what if that happens? And like, what if I die? And like, what if, you know? Yeah. Well, we're all going to die. Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay, wait, one more mental health thing. Look, we had a weekend. I also have a funny story about how dumb men are.

Okay, don't forget. I talked to you about this in the car. This girl, Grace McCarrick on TikTok, because I'm going to give credit, was talking about how, you know, sometimes, especially with Thanksgiving coming up, we're going to see a lot of our family, how sometimes you could be your worst self around the people closest to you. And she was like, that's really not how it should be. Like, really try to be your most compassionate, kind, and empathetic person

side of yourself around the people closest to you you should not be that with these people who you're not close to every day like why are you giving your best self to like random strangers every day yeah and i feel like i'm guilty of that like i can remember every single prom day that i ever had and i was so mean to my mom on prom day because i was so stressed out

I love that you go full diva on your prom day. Are you going to do that on your wedding day? I don't know. Are you going to be a monster? I might. I think I will be. If you're not, that would be weird. It would be weird if I wasn't. I can just see you being like, Hannah, make sure no one comes in my room right now. And I have to stand outside the door and be like, sorry, she's not available.

She's not taking appointments right now. She's not taking appointments right now. Wait, why are men dumb? Speaking of weddings, perfect segue. I'm on the phone with Craig the other night and he's telling me about...

right when it happened that's the story yeah that's the end of the story right when it happened i was like i gotta write this down for my freaking podcast he is telling me about someone's wedding that he went to or we were like talking about someone's wedding whatever and he was like yeah it was really nice they they said their own vowels to each other and i go what'd you say and he said oh like they read their own vowels and i was like that's so crazy because a vowel is a-e-i-o-u

And he was like, yeah, I'm talking about wedding vows. And I go, I don't, I don't think this is one of those moments where you think, has this man been going around this earth saying vowels? No. What is he thought when he heard people say vow? Like, does he think that's something different? This is a perfect example of this is a moment where I actually did have a positive thought about myself. I thought, wow, so much smarter than the people I surround myself with.

Where is friends to be like, that's not how you say it. The fact that it went this long that it got to you is not acceptable. Hannah, I said, you're 36 and a lawyer. You take vows when you are sworn in to be a lawyer, I think. I was like, you've definitely heard the word vow. I would have just kept going and leaned into it. Well, because I was scared. I got nervous. Yeah.

I go, I can't. You were like, how bad is it? I go, I don't think I can. I don't think I can hold it for down for the both of us.

I'm not that strong. I'm not God's strongest. And he knows this. Wait, this reminds me of a joke way back in the day. Aziz Ansari made about 50 cent. Have you heard that joke? No. He was like one day 50 cent sat next to me at a restaurant and I told the person I was with, shut the fuck up. I have to hear everything 50 cent is about to say on this dinner date. Mm hmm.

And how 50 Cent ordered grapefruit juice. And the grapefruit juice came. And he goes, why isn't this shit purple? And he goes, in that moment, I realized 50 Cent doesn't know what a grapefruit is. And he's like, how many times has he seen a grapefruit and been like, that's a big ass orange. So that's Craig with vowels. I'm like saying vowels is something you do in second grade.

That's like when Chris DiStefano was pronouncing Tupperware as Tupperware. Wait, shut up. Chris DiStefano is a giggler. He literally messaged me this weekend and was like, you and Paige crack me up. And I was like, yeah, because we're stupid Italians. No, that's so funny. He has a clip with someone and I remember seeing it like years ago and laughing my ass off because he was saying it wrong his whole life. And the men are embarrassing. They're so embarrassing. Yeah.

Wait, so did he believe you when you said vow? Or did he try to like mansplain and be like, you're saying... Because if guys say something really confident, I'll be like, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it is vow. No, for the first five seconds, he was like, what are you saying? And I go, no, no. I can... I'm not... I'm sticking to my guns on this one. I was like, no, you're wrong. I do have to say though, like the grass is always greener because...

I'm with a guy who's smarter than me and I have to decide if I need to ruin the flow of the conversation to ask him what a certain word means. You know when most of the time you're like, I don't need to know what this word means. I get the gist. But every now and then I'm like, I can't continue this conversation without...

the definition of that word. Cause he also uses like European words and stuff that like throws me, but he's really sweet. Like I'll be like, I'm sorry, what does that word mean? And he gives me like a whole definition. Wait, that's so cute. It's so cute. No man has ever taught me a single thing, but I do have to say like just a warning out there. Like,

When you're with a guy who's smarter than you, you will lose some arguments. And I thought that was illegal. I thought as a wife, it was like illegal to lose an argument to your husband, but like he will straight up. He's, he gets, he's like smart. Yeah.

we're like you know when guys are dumb and you're like oh you want to you really want to go there with me because i'm about to fucking like no i'll i will file my fucking nails while i eat i'll say something he does and then he'll like double down on something and i'm like okay how where do we how do we get here so that's just a warning decide do you want to get smarter or do you want to win fights i also wanted to say one last thing about wicked and then i truly am done

Ariana Grande posted a clip of her watching it with her grandma. Oh, my God. I saw. And I just thought that was, like, so freaking sweet. Like, think about how that grandma feels watching her granddaughter have the career that she's had. And, I mean, like, sky's the limit, obviously. But, like, this is a very, like, pinnacle moment for her. Not to compare it to myself and my grandpa, but... I actually had a feeling. I...

because i was like there's no way so i was thinking like ariana grande you know like she she has the most incredible songs but like some of her songs like i've been to it all night i've been with not been no i love those ones those are like i feel like i clubbed to those got me walking side to side like you know her grandma's like i love her but like something she's like the grandma's not like

She's like, okay, well, that was a little inappropriate. No way. Because I think she loves it. But like, I'm just saying when she saw Wicked, she probably was like, this is like, I was raised on musicals. Yeah. And like, this is beautiful. Like she definitely saw the original Wizard of Oz. Yeah. Like when that's how I felt like when I did reality TV and my grandpa was like, I hate that program. Yeah.

but then my grandpa died and he never saw my netflix special but that's the moment we would have had um i'm trying to think what my grandma said when i first went on reality tv i just compared compared we ride at dawn to wicked as you should hannah as you should guys thanks for giggling with us today

I'm going to try and work on the problem that I have over in my home here with Hannah and the singing. And I vowed to the gigglers that I will make it stop. I tried to show Des the video that we made of me doing it. And he literally goes, I'm going to divorce you. And I'm like, I told them that's what you were going to say.

No, because we can't have it, Hannah. We're used. Here's the other thing. We are used to you being so good at everything you do. So you also have to think of the people around you. So like when you're not at a level that we're-

So like we're just not used to you being like, hey, I can hit this note and then clearly not hitting anywhere close to the version of the note. We're thrown off. Do you know what's freeing? Yeah. Do you know what's freeing? Having zero expectations and just not being good at something. That's what I'm sick of having to be good at things. Can we normalize? No, Hannah, you're the anchor. You keep us going.

I don't like what are you fucking talking about I'm gonna take a vow right now take a vow take a vow right now that I'm gonna do things that bring me joy okay no matter how good or bad I am and I'm gonna support them and I'm going to make as many comments as I see fit and necessary and you are really good at making comments so together it will be success empowering

We're not even making sense anymore. I just realized I've been traveling from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. When we landed, we recorded the pod. I love the fresh off the weekend pods because they're just pure chaos. I'm not going to lie. I can't wait to get back to like being in the studio, recording the pod, not being on tour, like getting back to basics. We actually have some surprises coming. There's a little fun change happening.

Nothing that will affect anyone else. No, nothing crazy. It's honestly about us. It's, yeah. And also, I think we might be, like, making our own studio. That could be fun. I think it'd be cool to decorate it. My side is, like, Hannah-coded and your side is Paige-coded. Oh!

Because I was like, how are we going to design it and like agree on stuff? And I'm like, let's just split it down the middle. Oh my God. That's literally the smartest idea you've ever had. Like, so we both just go off in our aesthetics. Wait, I'm like obsessed. No, I'm excited. That'll be really fun. Okay. That'll be really fun. I already have so many ideas. I'm getting a sconce.

You're gonna install it yourself with your fucking... Oh my god, I'm gonna come over with my level. I'm gonna get my little mini ladder. Yeah, no, I'm gonna have a full work day. What do you call your thing? Oh, my... I was gonna say my stun gun. My nail gun. You have a stun gun? No, I don't have a stun gun. It does seem like a good gift for Christmas for you, though. I feel like you'd love that. I don't think you can get them in New York. I mean, we could figure it out. Um...

Okay. You pull it out. Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay, we have to go. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling. Oh, yeah. We didn't even bring up Thanksgiving. Have an amazing Thanksgiving. Oh, my God. That's because we're real friends. We're real friends, so we didn't even bring it up. We didn't bring it up. We're not going to text you with Happy Turkey Day. No, it's so weird. No, this is real shit. Real recognize real. Have fun with your family. Look out for the glimmers, and we'll talk to you later. Bye.