Giggling about Spring fashion rules, cheating husbands, and Ocean
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I mean, the day just got away from me. Okay, gigglers, we're back in action. Get your giggle muscles ready. I feel energized right now, and I don't know why. So it's a rare occurrence. It's worrisome. Yeah, no, it's worrisome. It's rare. Are you good, bro? Yeah, I don't know. I went to the chiropractor, and first of all,

Well, okay. One, I don't go to like a chiropractor. I go to this thing called a kinesiologist. Can you spell that? No. What is the origin of that word? Use it in a sentence. Please use it in a sentence. And he basically like...

Oh my god, if anyone's like interested in New York City, I really actually don't want to give the name or the number because like I'm trying to get in for my appointments. I'm not trying to have you guys like ruin my shit. How'd you discover him? Okay, so I'm gonna give a big shout out to Perry Rabar. Remember him? Guys, do we remember him? He put me on to this guy and I've been going to him for like two years now.

And I got back from like a skiing vacay and my back was so fucked up. Like I couldn't sleep. I couldn't move. I canceled a few dates and people thought I was lying. And I was like, no, like seriously, my back is so fucked up. Like I can't move. And like, no way am I sleeping in a bed with you because like,

I need all the pillows. Welcome to 28. It's crazy. First of all, this doctor can't believe I'm like a living, breathing human because he's like, you eat trash from the trash bin. You drink your life away. Like, do you ever recover? So he gave me these like supplements because my ligaments have not been like repairing themselves. So like my back problems have just been ongoing and not getting better. So he gave me these supplements, like,

he said he did some black belt magic on me and i feel fucking fantastic when you say supplements do you mean roids are you roiding basically i'm bulking up wait so can you ski i can ski i can go down like a green mountain sick no like shred the gnar for sure that gnar when you are at the doctor's office do you lie or are you serious when they say like how many drinks do you have per week

Interesting question. I do love a lie every now and then.

But I feel like once I became a real adult and that was like, what, four days ago, I stopped lying. No, like I tell the full truth to my doctors because like, yeah, because I need help. Help me. Help me, God. They recently had this thing where everyone lies about flossing to their dentist, which is so funny because like the doctor obviously knows if you floss or not, but they still ask just to fuck with you.

And then there's this new thing where they think dentists. Did I tell you guys this? That dentists could tell if you've given a blowjob recently by like a marking in the back of your throat. I don't love that. I was at a dinner recently and my dentist walked into the dinner because he's one of my friends. And I was so scared to see him because I was like, I haven't been wearing my retainers. And the last thing I need is my dentist calling me out at the dinner. And he looked at me and he goes, why don't you put your retainers in once in a while? And I was like, oh, my God, you're embarrassing me. But I love him so much.

dentists have good personalities it's so crazy because people hate going to the dentist and this is another reason i might be a serial killer who just has empathy i fucking love going to the dentist like i feel cleaned really why i feel like i could make out with anyone after you know i just feel better about myself you're

You're like, I made out with the dentist and it's fun. Okay, here's another interesting fact and story. Every boyfriend I've ever had, my mom has tried to convince them to be a dentist.

And my high school boyfriend actually had to tell her to please stop at one point. And he was like, hey, if you want to be with Paige, be in med school for 12 years and we'll accept you into the family. She was like, just hear me out. They never really have emergencies. You can have your weekends off. You're paid like a doctor. You have the like.

you know, the status of being a doctor. But like, what do you really have to do? You know, like, what do you really? And I'm like, mom, please reel it in. I love what she thought this through. It's called manifesting. Let Kim manifest. Let her manifest. If I end up marrying a dentist. Yeah.

But my teeth will look fucking amazing. Yeah, amazing. I'll have new veneers. I'm actually hurting. Don't get veneers. I know, but I always think about it. I feel like everyone who gets veneers looks like they just have that like toy with the teeth like chomps around. Yeah. Yeah. If I have there's one thing about like one of my insecurities, it is my teeth. I don't like my smile.

What? Yeah, I hate my smile. I have two teeth, one on the top and one on the bottom that really fucking annoy me. And I could fix it with Invisalign, but I just don't wear them. It sounds like a self-sabotage situation to me. Yeah, no, it's a full-on personal problem. Like, low-key, you kind of love hating those two teeth.

Yeah. I'm like, you could be better, but like, why aren't you? And I'm just like, whatever. A little bit of self-hate keeps you humble. Yeah. You're humble. She's like this one tooth that no one can see. I hate it. See, my groin is killing me because I went horseback riding for the first time. Wow. Have you ever been horseback riding? I have. I was a Girl Scout. Oh. We did all that shit. Girl Scouts do that shit? Girl Scouts do some of the craziest things. Yeah.

We don't just sell cookies. That's just a cover up for all the real shit that's going on. Shout out to Troop 200 from like brownies all the way to like juniors. I was a Girl Scout from kindergarten all the way to eighth grade. Please don't talk about it. I wasn't a loser. All the cool girls did it. Were you competitive about it?

Like, did you want to be the best Girl Scout or you just liked the outfit? No, I liked the outfit, except my mom, like, totally traumatized me and everyone's mom was, like, sewing their patches on. My mom fucking safety pinned mine on. I, like, made noises when I walked around. It was so embarrassing.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's okay. And safety pins can be super dangerous, even though they're supposed to be safe. Anyway, yeah, so my groin hurts because I went horseback riding. I feel like in Brooklyn, once we had a birthday party where someone found a donkey, and we were riding the donkey. But that's the extent of it, and it doesn't sound... I'm calling PETA, and they'll see you in court. They definitely weren't happy about being in the middle of Brooklyn. They're like, where's my donkey friends? So I...

Go to this stable in Bridgehampton. Because one of my comedy buddies, Chloe LeBrand, shout out to Chloe, is babysitting for someone who gets horse lessons.

She goes, come through. Let's so funny. People text me all the time. Like, let's get coffee. Like, let's catch up. And I'm like, no, this literal random friend was like, want to go horseback riding on Monday? And I was like, fuck, yes. So we see each other. You can't get me out of bed for sure. Why would I not catch up on the back of a fucking stallion? Yeah. These horses are gorgeous. But turns out you don't just like ride the horse. You have to like do stuff.

to ride it like you have to get up and down and up and down but the horse is not a perfect rhythm so then you look I looked like I was just twerking very badly

question and this might be you know you might not be expecting it from me did you go western riding or english riding why are you attacking me right now sorry sorry it's the only knowledge i have about riding and i had to let the people know okay i went east end riding what's that i made it up okay because there's something about like

riding and they wear those like velvet like hats and they do like the jumps. Oh yeah. Which I think is chic as fuck. Yes. So like it looked chic but I was wearing like a big coat which

which took away the chicness i just think it's the way you ride the horse is different in like western and english yeah one of them you don't have to bop up and down as much mine was bopping up and down and like des was just watching and filming me like a good instagram boyfriend should and then we went to pierre's in bridgehampton talk some shit

And it was like overall a fun time. Did you think you've like you've taken up riding now? So I thought I might like fall in love with it. But then I was asking her about the upkeep of the horse. And she's like, this horse goes to the chiropractor once a week. She's taking Paige's appointments in Manhattan from the kinesiologist. Kinesiologist. Kinesiologist.

And then like you need like to wake up at like 5 a.m. to feed them and like all this crazy shit. So you basically have to hire someone to take care of the horse. And I'm like, I'm not trying to start a horse business right now. No, it's...

I also sometimes if you ever meet a guy and he's like into horse racing or he owns horses this is just a tip for the girls he's wealthy he's loaded he's loaded apparently Des is like friend at the golf club catty daddy as I remember him was like whatever you do don't let Hannah get into horse riding it's so fucking expensive it's like 300 grand a year just to like have a horse that you ride

Yeah. You want to marry a man who like owns horses, though, for sure. He just like owns the barn. He's like, yeah, do whatever you want. It's just like, oh, I don't even know about it. You know, they just the money goes there. And that's the type of man you want. You want someone who doesn't know where their funds really go. And unless you're Teresa Giudice, then figure out. Right. Well, then that's well, then you in court. See you in jail.

Oh my God. Also, speaking of animals, because you know we love animals so much on Giggly Squad. There's this dog named Romeo. Well, his name was Pupstar from Southampton Animal Shelter. And my grandpa's dog, Meatball, passed away. Rest in peace, Meatball. Rest in peace. But my grandpa wanted a new dog and he wants a puppy. And I'm like, Grandpa, you're literally 90 years old. I'm not getting you a puppy. You don't even get off your couch and you're grumpy. Yeah.

And a puppy doesn't need that kind of energy in his life. I'm like, let's get you another old man. You guys could be old men together. So there's this...

13 year old brindle pitbull named pup star who is so adorable and we get him to my grandpa's and we name him romeo because that's what my grandpa calls his friends the romeos retired old men eating out so they'd go out to dinner and they everyone on shelter island would go the romeos are here and they roll in like six old dudes and if they don't like the restaurant they all like gossip so much the restaurant will be shut down within two weeks

Okay, so I didn't realize that your grandpa was the mafia boss of Shelter Island. Rolling around with a dog named Meatball. Has an acronym for his friends. He literally, I'll be like, what are you doing tomorrow? And he's like, going out with the Romeos. Stop. So when we got the dog, we were like, we have to call the dog Romeo. And he loved it. And Romeo was having so much fun. Romeo's been in and out of the kennel his whole life. This poor fucking guy.

And but my grandpa kept like feeding him all his food off the dinner table as my grandpa does. And then Romeo was just like having diarrhea as one does. I was like, that's just an average day in my life. Right. But the person who helps my grandpa was like, I can't clean up diarrhea every day. But Des and I were devastated. We're like, we can't bring this dog back to the kennel.

So then we had Romeo tested with cats because of butter. And they said Romeo was like pretty good. And now we've taken in Romeo. So now you have an old man dog. He literally is the cutest thing. He has arthritis. So he kind of waddles around. But he's so happy, so affectionate, so cute, loves his tennis ball. And you have a new man in my life. I love old men. Like I can't get enough of old men. No, I love that for you. I love that at the end of that story you yawned. You always know how to make me feel great.

also it's not you page would you date a guy who's 45 at 28 yeah

yeah i would here's the thing i don't have a problem with older men i have a problem with their brains so like you're an old soul though you're an old soul so like you can be with someone older if i found a cool 40 year old who was like let's absolutely rip it in miami and get drunk together on the beach i'd be like say absolutely less yes so you're saying you want to be with a

Yeah, I want him to like get drunk with me at dinner. That's really all I care about. And my mom yelled at me actually recently over the weekend because I was like seeing this guy and I was like, yeah, but like he like doesn't really like drink that much. And like, I don't know. I feel like awkward if I get drunk at dinner with him. And my mom goes, it's not all about partying. Like one day you're not going to party. And my dad looked at her and goes, we get drunk together every night. So what the fuck?

She's drunk while yelling at you. She's like, it's the party. She's like,

She's like, it's not about. But here's the thing. My parents didn't drink. Like, I never saw my parents drink all while I was growing up. They were just hiding it from you? I don't know. They were probably, like, hammered, putting me to sleep. No, like, my mom never drank. My dad would, like, sometimes drink whatever. And then it wasn't really until I was out of college and, like, living in New York that my parents started just getting hammered together. Empty nest. Yeah. Every single night at 5 p.m.,

So like in the summer they sit outside My dad mixes up some fucking cocktails And they just like sit and drink with each other And I'm like oh my god That's amazing One that you guys even still have things to say to each other But that like you look forward to just hanging out by yourselves A hundred percent I love that And different couples have different things they like to do That like is their thing Whether it's like some people like take out Mexican And watching like

Reality TV. Yeah, exactly. And some couples might like just love going and getting a glass of wine at a nice restaurant. Wait, that's literally the same thing. Just drinking and eating. Anyway, people do other things besides drink and eat. But I do think you are going to slow down a little eventually. One day I will slow it down. Also, Paige...

We are best friends, even though you try to, like, say other people are best friends sometimes to make me question myself. But I don't drink that much and we're cool. That's true. But, like, also, we're not dating. So, like, when you go off with your friends, I'm not like, where are you? Right. Like, I'm not trying to pull you into the bathroom and make out with you, like, drunkenly, you know? Well.

And like if I am. Because if you were dating a dude who didn't want to go out with you and stuff, you'd have this like double life where he would be like, what is she doing when she like gets home at 4 a.m. while I'm sitting just reading about golf. Like I don't want to have a double life. I also realized. So one of my friends had a game night the other night and we all went over there and we're sitting on the couch and we're like all playing games. There was like a few couples there. And.

I got so in my feels that I almost had to leave the game night because I was watching the couples. The number one thing I realized that I need in my future boyfriend, I need to be in a group of people, but I need you and I to have our own like jokes that we're doing. So like we're laughing just with each other, but like we're laughing in the group. Yes. And I realized that I have not had that before.

How old am I? 28. Carry the one. 10 years. That makes me cry also because it makes me realize why we get along so well because we have them. Yeah.

Yes. Like we're with people, but like I look at you and like we already know what we're laughing about or like what we're joking. And I'm like, oh, my God, I didn't realize couples do that. Like who is going to fucking sit next to me and laugh? Mental health fucking moment is you need to find someone who when you make eye contact with when something happens, you both have the same reaction and the same sense of humor with it.

Yeah. Like I just want someone to squeeze my leg under the table and be like, that's an inside joke with us. We're so funny. Let's get back to the group and laugh. And then like, let's leave early. There is a hotness of being in a relationship and then being out in public because like you put on this like kind of different persona of like, oh, this is Hannah in the wild. This is how other people see me. Or the funniest is when a couple definitely got in a fight and then they're trying to be normal out in the wild. And I'm like,

You guys are like occasionally you see their like little underlying fight and you're like, you guys fucking hate each other. I went to a dinner the other night and I was the first one at the dinner. So I was just like sitting there pretending to be on my phone, like pretending to not look like a loser. But the table next to me was on a first date. I couldn't stop. That's actually my favorite thing. That's my favorite thing. I need everyone to shut the fuck up so I can listen to every single awkward interaction of this first date. The waiter came over and was like sparkling or still. And I was like, sir.

Shush. Bring both and shut your mouth. I'm listening to something. Have you ever been on a date that you literally have to listen to the date next to you the whole time? Sometimes I'll let the guy know. I'm like, we're going to just listen for the next five minutes because something's going down with this girl's friend that I have to understand. Yeah. I'm not sure whose side I'm on. It's like, whose side am I on? Yeah.

Sometimes I've been on dates and I'm like, fuck, we are that first date couple. And people are definitely listening to us. And now I'm insecure. And I can't tell him that, you know, because he's not going to get it. He doesn't see. But I'm like, I don't want to be that couple. To show how fucked up my brain is, when you started that story of we were at game night and I almost left, I immediately thought she lost the game. That's what happened. She lost the game. Because I am that friend.

I will not. People will be like, Hannah, can you play? And I'm like, oh, I can't. They're like, Hannah's lame. It's like, no, because if I play, the game's going to be ruined for everyone. Everyone. Everyone. You know that meme when the Monopoly tables flipped? Me, I'm not competitive. Also me. That's me. Yeah. No, we definitely had some fights during that game. I've had... I've left...

because I've lost a beer pong game that was like a little too dramatic and then being like, I can't walk around this bar with everyone knowing I'm a loser. I get it. I get it. I don't like losing. People think I'm really not athletic and not competitive. Actually, you won like every single game we played over the summer and people didn't realize it because you're low key about it, but I'm like every team she's been on, she's won. Yeah. And if I'm on the team, we're fucking winning. Um,

I think we should go to some front page news because we have a heavy dose of gossip today. Okay, my first story is Lala had her baby. I'm sure you saw it. Yes. How do you feel about the name? Her name is Ocean. You know, there's two ways people can go about it. You can name your kid Sarah or you can name your kid Ocean. And she went the artsy route. You know what? It's kind of a pretty name. I think Ocean, it sounds nice.

It's fucking weird, but it sounds nice. It's such a you thing to say. You were going to name your kid fish eggs. Don't talk about my fucking baby name. I actually want to kind of tell that story. Don't talk about my family. It's the craziest story. Should I say it on the pod? I don't want people stealing my baby name, though. It's already stolen.

Oh my God. Okay. Before we get back to say the name, you don't have to say the name. Okay. So there's a girl. She's famous. You know, she's pretty famous. People know her. I personally love her. I've always loved her. I love her style. I love her job. I love everything about her. I love her humor. I've always been a very big fan of this girl.

I have had a baby name in my list of baby names for almost four years now. And any guy I talk to where it ever comes up and like, what are you naming your daughter? This is my name. I don't care who I'm marrying. This is my name. It is like a play off of my grandmother's name. It's whatever. Okay. It's gorgeous. This girl had a baby, stole my fucking baby name.

Named her baby... My baby name... Spelled it differently than I am going to spell it... But when I tell you...

I saw the Instagram of her announcing the name. I started crying. I called my mom crying and she goes, why are you so upset? And I go, because people are going to start naming their kids that now. And I'm not going to be as unique and cool as I thought I was. And I went through like a real tough time with it. I remember the text, the rage text you were sending me. And I remember being like, oh, she did care a lot about this. I cared so much. Do you think...

You want your baby to have a cool and unique name Or like Well I like that yours related to like your family Like I actually asked my Nana recently I was like tell me names of people in our family Because I'd like it to come from like something That has meaning So here's how I got it

Because this is kind of weird too. I was very close to my mom's mom. And when she passed away, I would have dreams about her a lot. And I hadn't dreamt about her in a while. And I had a dream one night. And in the dream, I'm sitting at her kitchen table. Like it looks exactly like her house. She's sitting across from me. And like in the dream, I'm pregnant. But I'm not like scared about it. Like in the dream, I'm pregnant and it's fine. You're like, I wanted it. I wanted the baby. Yeah.

It wasn't an accident. We're excited about it. Everyone's of age. We're married. It was on purpose. Yeah, it was on trend. And like in the dream, I can look down and see my stomach and like I'm pregnant, but I'm happy. And she's sitting across from me and she says to me,

oh, you're naming the baby blank. And I said, yes, grandma, of course. I wake up from the dream, like going to put the name in my phone, like in my list of baby names. I open my list of baby names. It's at the top. So like I'm not saying that like my grandma put it in the baby list name. I probably woke up in the middle of the night and did it.

But when I saw it on there in the morning, I was like, oh, my God, that's the craziest sign ever. And like, I believe in that stuff. And I was like, my grandma wants me to name her like when I have a daughter, name her this name. So like ever since then, that was like four or five years ago. So ever since then, I'm like, that's my baby name. So when I saw this girl name her daughter that I was like, oh, question. If you have a son. Yeah. And then you have another son.

And then you have another son. Why are you putting this? Why are you manifesting? Would you get pregnant again to have a girl to name her that name? Yes. I'm going to keep going till I get one of each page. You would be like Jackie from your housewives of New Jersey with like six kids running around.

If I can't get a girl, fucking... You can adopt my girl. If I have a girl, you can have her because we know she's going to be girly. If I can't... I've actually thought about that. If I have like two kids and I have two boys and I haven't gotten a girl yet, I probably will adopt a daughter because I can't live my adult life not having a daughter. There's just no way. There's no way. Oh my God, I would love that for you. I would cry so... Oh my gosh. I would definitely adopt. I also... Des and I are going to have the most annoying child ever.

The most Will not shut the fuck up Is it crazy that I'm really excited For when you have a son They're gonna be I'm just gonna be like hey The toxic masculinity in this house needs to stop The whole time I'm gonna be like Don't speak to women like that You're gonna be like hey I'm not talking to you Newsflash you're being a passive aggressive dick again

You're just like cracking blankets in his like 13 year old bedroom. You're like, what the fuck is this? No, but yeah, when I was, I just always wanted to be on the bachelor, just like call out everyone's toxic masculinity the whole time. And they'll be like, Hannah, you're supposed to find the love of your life. And I'm like, no, we have some problematic men in this room and I need to talk about it. You're like, they signed up for it. So go.

Going back to just how much you love to party. Yeah, for sure. How do you feel about this summer? It looking like, oh, my dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big row as man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.

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We do is lie in bed. That I don't party? Yeah. I, look, I'm a woman of many sides. Many sides. And sometimes I like to absolutely rip it. And sometimes I like to not be spoken to for at least 72 hours. Same. Also, I just need to address, do you remember when you had a migraine and you told the house to turn the music down like a little because the house was like shaking? Do you remember when people got mad at me because of it?

Okay, so there's like a running joke in mine and Hannah's friendship that like I get away with so much shit. Like, and I'm like, oh my God, stop. Like that's, we're just, we're joking now. Like I really don't. But that was one of the craziest moments where it's like, I sent the hateful text. I sent the rage text.

Hannah got in trouble. No one even brought it up that I was the one that sent the text. No one even cared. They were just like, fuck you, Hannah. I literally watched it and I was just like, oh my God. And then you're like, honestly, I'm team Kyle on this one. I was like, how dare Hannah not want to party in Blitz?

I can't breathe. Okay, what's next? Okay, look. Since we're on, like, the baby train, Emrata posted, like, pictures of her giving birth. But, like, actual pictures of her giving birth. Like, there was... It was kind of like a collage, but there were some pictures of her, like, mid-push. Okay, I have to see this. One, she had, like, a... And, like...

I'm all for the realness. I really am. I'm more for the realness than I would than you taking like pictures in your hospital bed like glammed up like I just had a baby. But like there's some things I feel like you don't you don't have to show everyone. There is something so beautiful about just living life and it not being captured completely. But looking at it now, there's

Yeah, she's not like, you know, screaming, crying, like all red in the face. No, no, no. It's not like crazy, but it's like... Like she still looks gorgeous. It's very artsy. No, it's actually so annoying. Yeah, it's very artsy. Yeah, she looks fucking stunning. Are you going to wear makeup when you give birth? No. Which I think people would think the opposite of me, but absolutely not. That's crazy town. Well, you also look stunning without makeup. When I see people with full face of makeup holding the baby for the photo, I'm like...

You are an overachiever. Yeah. I actually have a weird feeling that like I don't really even want my husband in the room. Is that weird? It depends on the husband, I think.

It depends on which husband you're on at the time. Right, that's true. Because I think some guys, you, like, really have that, like, really sexy thing going on where you just always want to protect, like, your... But then you're going to have someone who could be, like, literally your best friend who's in it through everything with you. And you're just like, this is us. Like, this is a new experience we're going through together. Like, if he's in there, he's head level. He's above...

the action i don't want him down there looking what if i shit myself you know which like i probably know i'm gonna shit myself i don't want him experiencing that i also i don't want him cutting the cord get out of my area does has this thing he has a rule i'm not allowed to look at comments

on anything but like sometimes i feel like i'm in a in a dungeon and i'm like i sometimes i really need to look at stuff so i'll go in the bathroom he will literally bust open the door while i'm taking a shit like are you looking at the comments and i'm like i'm literally shitting myself i'm shitting my brains out perry used to do that and be like are you smoking a jewel

Give me a second. Oh, my God. I almost dropped my jewel in the toilet. Fuck. Yeah. I'm like, I'm there. You I'm hiding this. I would have had to make you buy me a new jewel. So anyway, I'm the cons of having a guy in the house. I haven't felt that in a while, though, which is nice. OK, next, Billie Eilish dyed her hair blonde. Have you seen a picture of her recently? It looks amazing. And I also think one, she's been overdue. I didn't think she would do the green for as long as she did.

second of all the shag is so in and like it's the 70s now it's the 70s and i was looking at the picture that she posted it's also like the record-breaking instagram picture i think she got like 2 million likes in six minutes she beat the egg it's like the fastest liked picture and i was looking at her and i was like she looks like someone she looks like lady gaga and scarlett johansson had a baby

Oh my God, you nailed it. It's also funny because she's so young. She's like, her features are becoming like, she's growing still. She's still a baby. She's, there's something so, and I don't want to sound, I don't even know if this is the word, but this is what's coming to my head. Don't say egregious because you love that word. I do love that word. Avant-garde. Oh, okay. Okay.

Avant-garde about her beauty Like She's timeless Yeah like you just You can't pin Like you know when you look At like a model And you're like This girl is hot And this is why X, Y, and Z on why she's hot There's something about Billie Eilish's face That like you just Can't stop looking at

Well, I also like that it's unique. Like she's not, she hasn't gotten the injections and the lip stuff and the eye thing to look the same as everyone else. Yeah, she's very natural. And yeah, because she's so natural, it's almost interesting to look at because you're so used to people with so much makeup. And she has really beautiful eyes and just like good bone structure. Is that what it is? Yeah, I think you're not used to seeing people with that little makeup on. I love like a bare faced, like,

stunningly gorgeous girl. It's just, there's, you want to look at their skin. Girls also are programmed to be like, do you have pores? Let me see them. Yeah. So like when I can see a girl's pores and like her freckles, I'm like, you're so pretty. Can we normalize pores again? Yeah. Cause it's been a stressful. Now they have these video apps that you, cause I think the Kardashians have been using it for a while where like your videos fully edited. Yeah.

Oh yeah you can Facetune videos And Chloe they like showed how like She was doing this zoom or something And the background was like bending Behind her

Because of the face too much and it's it's too much. It makes me sad I even feel bad because people will DM me like off my Instagram stories and they're like your skin looks so good And I'm like bitch that is the Paris filter. Do not let me fool you. Okay, that's Paris all day every day I feel like Paris we've accepted that but it's true. That's just the Paris filter but when you're going like to in-depth and

It makes me angry. It makes me sad. But I've had enough rants about it. Yeah, you hate that stuff. I'm done. I'm sitting on the bench. Okay. Do you watch Real Housewives of Dallas?

I'm up to date on it. You are. I mean, I'm not up to date, but I am up to date, if you know what I mean. I'm not. I'm not. Whatever. Glad we figured that out, though. You're like, this wasn't supposed to be a... I was interrogating you. I don't care. I didn't care. Why don't you watch it? Hey, I don't watch it either. I don't know what that just was. Anywho, so Brandy's husband, Brian...

It's kind of interesting. Brandy and Brian and then all their kids are B names. And it's just it's a lot. OK, so Brandy's husband, Brian, was Bravo's. Bravo and Cocktails is the first one to put this video out of him possibly making out with if it's him. I mean, it looks like him making out with a girl at a nightclub.

She previously had done a big Instagram post in the caption. People were speculating that she wasn't coming back to the show and she was choosing happiness and all this stuff. But as of right now, she's still very much involved in the show. The video came out and she said, please respect our privacy. They have not said an absolute word about it. But she said, please respect our privacy? Where? Yes.

I think it was in, like, I read the article in Us Weekly. Okay. They're high school sweethearts. She just gave birth to their fourth child. They had, two years ago, they had adopted a son. A redhead, which is wild. Crazy, right? Yeah. No one talked about it enough. No one talked about that enough. I was like, how do you find a baby that looks exactly like your family? How'd you do that? Here's, this is how. The other kids were like, wait, was I adopted too? Yeah.

Here's a crazy thought. They've been together for 17 years. They were high school sweethearts. I'm not condoning cheating. I think that's awful. There have been some rumors that like maybe she stepped out also.

If you're with someone for that long, not even that long, because you can be with someone for that long. But if you're with someone when you started that young, could you imagine how much you guys change? And like to keep it working for that long? Like there you have to. It's inevitable. That's a human feeling to be like, what's it like on the other side? What would it have been like if I married someone else? So like, yeah.

Not that like he should be making out with like random tattooed girls in the nightclub. Like that's crazy. Yeah. But there has to be more to the story. Yeah. And also me. Yeah. They could have like a little open relationship. The point is like the way it's come out, it's so disrespectful and looks just like this guy is like playing her. Yeah. But also it's funny how like color daddy was involved. Yeah.

Do you know about that? No. Alex, I don't know when the episode was, but she basically was talking about how she had sex with a married housewife's husband. No, she was reading something from a fan and a fan said that they had sex with a real housewife's husband. Now, if it was like, let's just go through the hottest husbands. If it was like Mauricio and a snackeroo.

absolute snack no one talks about the other dallas housewives husband who's hot as shit um deandra deandra's husband is jackie's husband can absolutely get it jackie's husband can get it for sure um if we're going down this path let's go down it you know new york is the most single people ever robin's husband won

Oh, Juan. Don't even. No, actually, don't get me started on Juan because I won't stop. Juan Dixon was here right now. If Juan Dixon was here, sorry, Robin. Sorry, Robin. I don't know the extent of your relationship, but I'm sorry about it. There are some really good looking husbands that like it's actually kind of crazy to think that like New York, none of them are in relationship. You know who's like actually kind of hot that people don't talk about?

Shadim Shadim Bedore's new guy. Yeah. He is kind of hot. You just like him because he's like tall and like looks like a man. I like him sturdy. Yeah. I think my favorite, though, because let's I'm going to go. I'm going to do something different for me. I'm going to go based on looks and personality. And I think Mauricio might be the funniest person.

You know like when he was sitting at that dinner and he was like high? Because he's just like high, having fun, making fun of everyone. And he's loaded. He's sitting at a dinner. He's laughing. He's drunk. He's drinking tequila. He's not paying attention. He's like, Denise, are you going to eat that? That's the energy I need my man to have. Like, hey, are you going to eat that? You legit made a comment.

Well, you made a joke like I'm going on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Like, let's do this. Yeah. And I commented like I actually thought it was Meredith Marks, period. Like I like scrolled through and was like, like, and then I was like, wait a second. You looked like Meredith. Thank you. Could you be on a housewife show? Because that's different drama than Summer House. Summer House, you just sit back, comment on the stupid shit I'm doing. No. You'd have to get family involved. No. Children. Children.

If I were to do that, I would go straight Kristen Cavallari, Jay Cutler style. You'd never see my children. I really don't think I could have my kids involved in something like that. In like a coke scandal? Yeah.

Yeah, housewives is like a different animal. Like I don't need you coming and like ruining my... Took me a long time to get married. Okay? Took me a long time to get here. Don't need you coming in and ruining it. Like I worked for this shit. It's also when the housewives get so mad about like certain scandals. Like okay, like Jackie and the cheating scandal or like the cocaine scandal, whatever. Yeah.

It's like when you signed up for this, you had to know that everything was on the table. Well, I said it's part of nothing was housewives when people say your husband's cheating on you. That's just like part of the game. But here's the thing, too, like Kristen Cavalieri and Jay Cutler, like, yeah, they're broken up now. But like, I think the way they did their reality show was funny. Like, yeah.

You got a little bit of drama of the two of them, but like it was mainly funny. It was like their jobs. I don't think I could get like in the nitty gritty of my immediate family. Like, no, that's crazy town to me. Speaking of Jackie and Teresa, Jackie is now getting like a ton of hate for not letting the mouse go.

and i found some i'm kind of empathizing with her a little because actually ben from watch crap and said it he was like everyone's like jack won't stop talking about it because she had this party for evan but it's like that was the only other scene that she's gotten yeah where theresa talked about it the whole time they were in lake george but then also it's like you know how i am like if someone wrongs me i can never move on yeah if i was her it's so the hard part about

Bravo is like you get upset and then people want you to move on because it's more entertaining when there's a different story. But you're still you and your life and you're like, we're just going to let this woman say that.

yeah did you watch the most recent episode not yet i wonder if she talks about it at all i haven't watched it i've like been waiting because i want to be able to watch jennifer aiden like fully hammered before i'm in a good mindset yeah because i feel like that would be great jennifer aiden is like i'm fully embracing it too like she's posting clips of it she was doing this drunk thing like money can't buy you class but can it i'm

money can't buy you class i'm pretty sure i can one of her comments which is like so true she was like what have you never seen a drunk person before like chill out and i was like pop off our whole show is based on it yeah leah from real housewives was like people need to stop shaming this woman for getting drunk these people probably drunk on twitter raw while judging her for being drunk yeah also she's not like drunk putting anyone in harm's way she's not like fucking driving

Yeah, she's literally at a pool party with her friends just like popping off. She's flopping around a pool party. She's like 27 kids at home. Give her a break. Yeah, any mom I think is actually one of the most relatable things I've seen on Bravo. Anyway, what's next? Oh, let's talk about JLo and A-Rod just because we had recorded before like the articles were really coming out that they're like trying to work it out. Do you remember when I was like I think they're back together and you were like Hannah shut up. Yeah, and I was like Hannah absolutely out of here.

And now they keep like posting the same like Instagram stories and it's like we get it. We get the narrative you're trying to push. And then there was like paparazzi pictures of them together recently. And it's just like in the pandemic, in the quarantine, the people got too smart. You know, like I feel like before quarantine, it was celebrities and

And then it was like normal people and normal people didn't realize the shit that was going on behind the scenes of celebrities. Like I didn't know that like JLo and A-Rod was like a business deal, you know? So now when they're posting paparazzi pictures, I'm like, fuck you guys. I know that this is posed and you want us to think you're working on it. I know you're not working on it. And something happened during quarantine where we all got on the same page that we were like, celebrities are out of their minds.

It's literally people realize that celebrities are their own reality TV show. You're only seeing what people want you to see. You are a savant. No, but it's 100% true. A wordsmith. It's 100% true. Let's not go that far. I can barely form a sentence. But yeah, their lives are our entertainment. So they're showing. It's basically how the Kardashians do. They do their show the same way they do their social media and their real lives.

So true. I think it's also crazy like people calling paparazzi for things. Like get out of my face. Did you see Madison got like stopped by a paparazzi? She was like walking alone in Miami which was weird to me. Like just walking in like a cute

athleisure wear. I've walked alone in Miami for years. Not a single photog. No one would know. Like that's no, that doesn't just happen. You're not walking on the beach and photographers are just coming up. People are calling them. I've literally watched models like girls that I know call paparazzi and be like, I'm in this part of the beach. And I'm like,

That's insane. What? There's no way she was just walking on the beach and a paparazzi was like, ooh. She absolutely had to have called. Yeah, you're right. Paparazzi only will chase Lady Gaga. Real celebrities. And top, top, top celebrities. So when you see, no offense, people from Selling Sunset all over the place on People Mag. You called them. You literally said, I'm at Soho House Beach. That was the whole fight on Selling Sunset. Do you remember? Yeah.

When Christine was yelling at Heather. For calling paparazzi? Yeah. Yeah. Like, that's the thing. And that's just, like, a crazy conversation to even be had. Like, you called paparazzi. No, you called him. Like, oh, my God. And then, apparently, you can get sued by, like, taking a paparazzi photo of yourself and posting it on Instagram. Which I also think is crazy. Which I think is fucking crazy, but we're not even going to get into that. What's next? Yeah. Yeah.

That's all the front page news I have for today. Oh, wait, I forgot. Did you like the name Ocean? No. No. Like, I don't want... No. It's like, it's how I feel about people naming their children, like, Rainbow. And, yeah, it's just like, I don't need that. Ocean is just...

No, like it makes me think like seaweed, seahorse. That's just what's coming to my brain. I just like keep like keep the ocean like I get it. You don't want to name your child like Emily or Sarah or like something very generic. But you don't need to name her Rainbow Sunshine, Love and Light, you know, like a world piece. Yeah. It's kind of crazy. What do you think of the name Hazel? I like that name.

Okay, sorry. I heard that there's someone in my family named Hazel and I was like, I love that name. I actually really like that name and there was someone in my family named Hazel. Interesting. Mm-hmm.

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Anyway, I'm so excited for this moment. Are you pregnant? No. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. It's so funny. My bloating picture. This is just how like the world changes. Hannah, wait. I have a request. Wait. Before you say this, I have a request. When you are pregnant, I want you to tell me on the pod. Okay. Okay.

Because I feel like I want the gigglers to get our natural combo. Our actual reaction. Not you calling me being like, did you post? Yeah, not me. You actually posted your like water, whatever it's called, water breaks. Oh, yeah. It's funny how like times have changed because I posted my bloating photo this summer.

like this bloating photo and it like and everyone was like this is so funny and then like I posted it now when things are like hot and people were like mad

yeah people are like why would you do this to us i thought this was an announcement and you're like this is from a burrito seven months ago i like tagged summer house i tried to make it pretty but i was also like i was fucking with people because i was very bored but um yeah people were very angry they were like how could you lie to me and i'm like i'll never forget that photo you looked stunning the lighting was perfect i was like stop i had like pregnancy sweats i'm taking a pic

It's amazing. And also, like, it's important to normalize bloating because the amount of people that are editing their bodies to look so small, sometimes you just have to show the real width and girth of your bladder and stomach. Okay, so I'm very excited about this final segment because...

how do i even know what to wear if you don't tell me if i don't tell you and when the weather changes the rules change it's hard out here it's hard out here so we need the i'm giving you a big intro sorry i'm like please stop okay i'm trying to give you an intro so we are giving the looks for less extraordinaire the floor

Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. Okay, so I'm just going to tell you guys a few things that are going to be on trend for the spring. And then when this pod comes out, I will put on my story like a few swipe ups to things that I think...

you should get first. Let me start out with everyone always asks me where like cheap websites that I shop on and I switch them up. Like sometimes I'm really into like two of them and I only go to those and then I get bored of them and I forget they exist right now.

I'm very much into Princess Polly. And I'm very much into Shop Akira, which is like some random website that I had found a few years ago. And I think it's like based in Chicago. And I would always like forget about it, but then go back to it. They have very like,

Very different things. Like my orange dress with the pink feathers on the cuff. Like you're not wearing that multiple times. You're wearing that for like one thing. But also you're not seeing that at like a Zara. Yeah, you're not. It's not as unique. So they have very unique...

But still things that are very trendy Like some things on their website Basically you're not going to walk in a room And like be worried other girls are wearing it Right Some things on their website I'm like oh my god that's crazy I would like I don't even know how that's fashionable But like there are a few things that I see And I'm like that's the most amazing thing They have very good shoes Okay so that's first

For the spring, obviously, like pastels. I mean, it's fucking spring. Groundbreaking. Groundbreaking. But it's a very, like, 60s vibe. Ooh. So, like, headbands are very in. Platform shoes. Versace just did an ad, and I've been trying to find these shoes that aren't a billion dollars. Since Christmas, Kendall Jenner posted a picture on Christmas, and her shoes were, like, these platform...

Like over the Like tie around the ankle Hers I think were open toe But she wore them with tights

So shoes like that, like very mod. It's like Austin Powers. Yes, think very like Austin Powers. Micro mini skirts, very in, bedazzled ones. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What's a micro mini? How little is that? So like very 60s, like mini, mini skirts. So it's not high-waisted? It's like a tube top on your butt? It's like a tube top on your butt. Great description. So like if your labia is showing, it's macro mini. Yeah, it's fashionable.

Same thing with like shorts, like tight shorts that are that you would see in like a 60s movie. I keep thinking of what's that movie? The baseball movie. The Sandlot. Like Wendy Peppercorn is like what I'm thinking. OK, cute. OK, we're done with sweat sets. I know it's tragic. It's sad, but we've done them. We did them for two years. OK, cool.

Okay. We're transitioning. Is Kylie not doing it anymore? Because I feel like she was the one who like made it. Sweats. Kylie Jenner. Kylie Jenner. Like, you know, she'd wear like the big sweatsuit with the matching like biker shorts. Her fashion, I don't. Yeah. I mean, it's just. Look at the shade.

Okay, sorry. Yeah, was that rude? No, I definitely look at her, like, what she's wearing, but, like, she's not my go-to. Yeah. Because she's a lot more sexy than fashion, I feel like. Yes, and you're not, like, showing off the same parts of your body. Yeah, I'm not, like, these A-cups are real, if you were wondering. Okay.

So rather than like sweat sets as I'm wearing like a hoodie and matching sweats, it's going to be for the spring like knitwear. So like a knit flare pant with a matching knit cardigan. Cardigans are really in. Crop sweater vests are very in. Can I just say I have a problem with knitwear?

I have very sensitive skin. Like if something, if there's a tag that's like a little off, like it ruins my whole day. So I hate buying something like knitwear that's cute and you put it on and I'm like, I can't wear this all day, especially when you're also a sweaty beast. Okay. Yeah. Well, I'll look, I'll keep that in mind for you. Okay. When I'm like, what's the tag situation on this? Thank you. You're welcome. So sweater vests are very in cropped blazers are very in think Jackie O for the spring. Okay. Yeah.

Okay, so we're getting a little like we're getting a little mod. Trenchcoats, very in. That will be your springtime jacket. And don't be afraid to do a patterned trench coat. I was about to say like what color because I feel like camel we've done a bazillion times. You can definitely stay in the neutral tones, but don't be afraid of a funky patterned jacket. Okay, don't be afraid of that.

Also for pants, trousers are very in. I don't love the word trouser, but I'm going to use it. No. Think very Emrata style, like an oversized trouser or like a flare Victoria Beckham type trouser. We're loving trousers, crop tops with a crop blazer. And that's your 411 on spring fashion trends. Thank you. Wait, that's amazing. I'm excited to see what outfits you are going to start.

coming up with and now I'm just stressed because I feel like spring cleaning is ahead and you have to like have this weird transition phase where you're like is it hot is it cold I don't know what to do with my life I hate it and I'm like moving in two weeks and it's it's like a bomb went off in here are you gonna throw a lot away yeah a lot

That's going to feel amazing. I'm going to donate a lot of shit. Good for you. Thank you. Um, you guys, thank you so much for giggling with us this week. We covered a lot. I hope you're enjoying summer house. I hope you're subscribed to burning in hell. Um, page and I were both on call her daddy. You should listen to both those episodes cause they were fucking fire. And now we're officially stepfathers and we should have Alex on giggly squad. Eventually we'll bother her about that. Absolutely. Um,

I know she's running around LA doing who knows what right now, but we'll get her. We'll trap her ass. Thanks for giggling with us, guys. We love you, and we'll talk to you later, and we're just coming out soon.