Giggling about the US Open, lip plumper, and wholesome weekends
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I mean the day just got away from me. - What is up my G-Shockers? What the fuck is that? Remember those watches, the G-Shocks? - No. - Oh. - Was that something for athletic girls?

No, but it definitely wasn't the cool girl thing. Oh, okay. Then no, I didn't know that. Oh, wait. I do know what you're talking about. They looked, they were like thick. Thick. And big. Yeah, like different colors. Yes. G-Shocks. Yes. Okay, I do know. I feel like saying G-Shockers sounded like a weird sexual position. Yeah, it did. Like putting something in something you shouldn't. Anyway, Googlers, we are here. We had a really eventful week. Like normally we don't have much to talk about, but this week...

We were like everywhere. We also are recording like so late for us. Not in the day, but... But it's going to be like real current shit. Yeah, this is current. We both went to the US Open separate times. We couldn't align the dates together. But how was your US Open experience? Okay. Okay.

I love the U.S. Open. I think it's chic. I think it's cool. I have never once known who I was going to watch play. I've never inquired. I've just been like, yeah, we're going. I love my outfit. You like the players don't matter. They don't. What do you wear? I wear this cute little brown skirt from Forever 21 and then like a white button up and sneakers. I loved my outfit. So, you know, I had a good time.

Yeah. But when I was there, like I have gone to professional sporting events in New York and not in New York. And like you just align with the New York crowd because you're a New Yorker and it's just fun and it's fun when they go crazy. But I can honestly say I've never seen a crowd in New York City get so hype for someone the way they did for Layla.

Like I was sitting there and I was like, wait, why are we so obsessed with this girl? What's going on? And my girlfriend that like I went with, she was like, oh my God, she's like Canadian. She's 18. And so then I had to look like everything up about her. I'm looking up her stats, like looking up all these facts about her. And I was like, wait, this girl is a fucking powerhouse. And it was just amazing. Who did you see play? So I went to the day matches at the US Open and night matches are two different vibes.

Day match is very like you roam around. It's casual. Night matches are like it's time to go to the club. Yeah. Like the lights are on. Everyone else is drinking. People are hammered. They have their honey deuces. Did you have a honey deuce? Of course. I sat in the gray goose box. How was it? They're phenomenal. It's just like a drunk fruit is my jam. Yeah.

A fruity buzz? Yeah. That's all I need. So I went with Des. We watched a bunch of people. I saw Raducanu play, actually. The girl ended up beating Layla in the final. Oh, wow. And she's young, too, right? She's only like, I think she's like 19 or something. She's 18. Layla just turned 19. Right, right. And New York City crowd loves an underdog more than anything. New York loves a comeback story. New York loves a comeback story.

They love a rally. They love a young – they love a story. Yeah. So, like, and Layla's attitude, like, she knew – as a player, you don't learn this. It's almost just innate. You either know how to pump up the crowd or you don't. And Layla knew exactly how to be like, yeah! And everyone would go crazy. Were you going crazy? I was going crazy. Also, after she won, this is, like, my –

reality TV like public persona brain after she won and you know how they interview you like on the court whatever all of her answers I was like what a fucking PR dream this girl is like the answers and then after she won she like said something about 9-11 or after she lost to

To the girl you saw Oh my god you watched the final? Yeah because I was just like Well I didn't watch it but I looked up like the highlights Because my dad texted me and was like Oh that little girl lost And so I like was looking Everything up and I was watching her Like give her interview And she's just so fucking wholesome And cute and like I don't This is obviously not the last time we'll see her I think she'll be amazing Are you a tennis commentator now?

I think I might be. You just go, and this is definitely not going to be the last time we're going to see Layla. And Layla is someone to watch, people. Her short backswing really can handle a lot of the pace of a lot of the players. We love the slice serve out wide. It really dominates. When I was watching it, I couldn't help but think about you. Oh, baby, thank you. Because the pressure that they must feel. Like, I just feel like being a tennis player is,

is so different from any other sport because like if you lose that's on you you can't blame anyone the other player on the team you can't blame like the ref you can't be like we just we weren't cohesive today like we just didn't have our vibe like it's all you

And that's terrifying. But when you win, you feel like so fulfilled and so proud of yourself. But then when you lose, you're like, I'm the worst player that ever did this. But also because it's a singular sport, it makes sense why I don't do well in group dynamics, you know? No, it makes a lot of sense.

But it really is like a lonely ass sport. And that's why I think these players, what also sucks, like my negative perspective of it is like, okay, these two 18 year olds had no pressure. I mean, they have their own pressure, but compared to the other players, they're just playing for the love of it. They're on the up and up. But now they've become like champions and fine.

And then the next tournament, it's going to be like, okay, well, can they keep this up? Like, right. Really? Yeah. It's never, it's like you have one second of celebrating and then it's on to like the next like, okay, well, there's like only as good as your last match. Oh no, no, no, no.

But like these people have incredible, incredible mental, like they're all with psychologists. But yeah, like Naomi Osaka, after she won the US Open and then she won like one or two other Grand Slams, she just was like, I don't, I'm just scared not to lose. And this isn't fun for me anymore. And she quit. Layla made her quit tennis. That's crazy. Okay, here's my like, my gossip part of my brain.

When you're in that environment, I feel like there's not that many. Like, does everyone know everyone? Yeah. And does everyone hook up with everyone? There are a lot of hookups on the tour because the guys and girls, the tournaments aren't always together. But when they are, it's like there's no one else. Right. Like there's a lot of hooking up that goes on, but it's hard to have a sustainable relationship as a professional athlete, especially tennis player, because you're traveling to a different place every single week.

So a lot of them end up dating their coaches or their trainers. Because you get this like serious emotional connection with them because you have to trust them with everything. So a lot of them are married to like people on their team. And then there's the occasional couple like Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf. Okay. Oh, you would love that story. So Andre Agassi was married to Brooke Shields.

Stop. Yep. Okay. But the second he married her, he started like losing everything and he was kind of distracted. He was in the press a lot. It was very like... So did people hate her? Did they think she was a bad luck? No, people didn't hate her, but they were just like, we don't think this is good for him necessarily. And then do you know who Steffi Graf is? No. She's one of the greatest female tennis players of all time. Okay. Who was playing when he was playing. And apparently on her fridge...

Oh, no. On Brooke Shields' fridge, she had a photo of Steffi Graf because she loved her legs. She has these really athletic legs. And she just said, I always love Steffi Graf's legs. And Dragsy falls in love with Steffi Graf. No. Forever. And they have adorable children. And they're just like the tennis powerhouse couple. I love it. Do you think Brooke Shields is happy for them? Yes, I think she is. I think she is. Because also, like, sometimes let tennis players, like,

be crazy together, you know? And like, we've talked about this before. We've talked about it with like you being, you and Des being comedians. There is a different connection when it's like,

You can talk about work stuff because you both understand so deeply, like, what the other person is talking about. Yeah. And it's, like, unique problems that, like, other people would think are insane. But you guys kind of can deal with it. Right. Oh, my God. I love the tennis drama. Tennis is so fucking chic. There was... Okay, did you also...

Did you also see how like they, I think it was on like Barstool Sports or like ESPN. It was ESPN TV.

And they like panned to this girl and she like chugged her drink. Yes. And then they came back to her and she like, I don't know if it was like her boyfriends or her friends or whatever. And she took his drink and then she chugged it. People were freaking out. Like mad? Yeah. They were like, this is the U.S. Open. This isn't like fucking hockey or like NASCAR. And then other people were like, dude, we're in New York.

Like, we're not at Wimbledon. We're not at the French Open. Like, we're New Yorkers. Chug your fucking drink. I was about to say, Wimbledon is sheikah's fuck. US Open is, like, ratchet. Yeah. And, like, so then I'm sitting... We boo people for, like, taking a bathroom break. Like, US Open is scary. This crowd is insane. So then when I'm sitting there, I, like, I go into an immediate sweat because I'm like, what if...

I get on the jumbotron. Do I chug my drink or would people hate me? Did you see, you didn't see the stars at the final? Bradley Cooper was sitting with Brad Pitt. And then Leo was in the back with like his mask. It's like, we get it. It's Leo. Oh my God. There was so, it's just such a, I have always said this, New York in the fall is such a fucking vibe. Oh,

Like, no one, unless you live here, you don't really understand it because, like, there's Fashion Week. There's the U.S. Open. Like, it's, the weather is still warm. You don't need a jacket. But, like, it's so much fun. There's something going on every single night. Oh, I do have to say one more thing about Layla. You're right. We were listening to the final speech, Des and I, and she takes the mic and, like, after I lose a tennis match, I'm a monster. Or I would just go in the bathroom and cry in between sets, like, look in the mirror and be like...

And then go out completely composed. I do that and I don't even play sports. That's just going to the bathroom. That's just me having to pee. Yes.

Layla was so composed after her loss. Such a good sport. She was. And she said something so poignant about 9-11. She said, I hope I can be as strong and resilient as New Yorkers. And Des and I look at each other and he goes, is she running for president? No, seriously. Because she has my vote. Layla for president. All I could think about was whoever her PR is, they're so fucking proud of her. Oh my god. But that's the thing with these sponsors. Like,

everyone, Naomi Osaka had so much pressure from all these sponsors. But then Naomi pulled out and basically was like, I don't know if I'm going to play tennis again. And then the sponsors see Layla and it's like, they're just onto the next. They have no like allegiance to anyone. Same with like Simone Biles. Like I feel like there's no way Naomi felt confident enough to do that without Simone Biles doing it. Don't you feel like that?

Yeah, it might have affected each other. Yeah. Also, Naomi has like $50 million. So do it. Pop off, sis. Do whatever you want. If I had $50 million, you'd never see me again. You'd never see me again. Like you just would never. I would go Instagram dark for 10 years.

But it does show you like the ebbs and flows of like a career in the public eye. Yeah. And how like you're going to have hot times, you're going to have down times, but ultimately you can't control it. I saw a meme the other day and it was about Justin Bieber and

and it was like every time I get mad at something stupid Justin Bieber says, I remember that we took him at 11 years old, made him sing and dance for us, never let him go to a real school, and then gave him hundreds of millions of dollars to see what he would do. And it's so true. People are humans, and they have emotions, and they –

Like sometimes shit is hard. Dude, perfect example. Not perfect example, but like an example. I posted a video like an Instagram story the other day that was wholesome as shit of me feeding a horse. The amount of DMs that I got of people being like, oh my God, did you gain weight? Like, yeah, looks like you gained a lot of weight. Like this so doesn't look like you. And I was just like,

In what world did that thought go through your brain and then you actually typed it out and sent it to me? And like, granted, a lot of people are like, she'll probably never see this.

I see it. But what kind of energy you're putting into the world? Right. What made you think that would make the world a better place? And like, it's hard to not sound cliche, but in no fucking way would a guy post that same video and maybe look like a little bigger than normal and anyone be like, wow, it looks like you gained weight.

A thousand percent. And also, no fucking way would these people ever have the nerve to say that to your face. But because they're safe behind a computer and probably user 12756. Right. You know what's so funny? Obviously, I was getting trolled really bad during reality TV. Instagram has this new thing where you block someone and it also blocks all the other accounts they have. Yeah.

I just have to say there's not that many haters as I thought. Thank you. Because I did a couple blocks and she got real quiet. Yep. Thank you, Instagram. I don't know how they figure that out. Because like if you make an Instagram, you have to connect it to your email. So can you have multiple accounts on one email? Maybe they do that or maybe it's a phone number or maybe it's like an IP address.

Now we're getting too technical. If you can figure out different IP addresses to make new Instagram accounts, like go work for NASA. What are you doing here? You're trying to tell an influencer she's chubby. Yeah. Like what? Why are you here? Cure cancer, bitch. Yeah. Do something productive. One last thing about the US Open. Yeah. I was so excited to go. I flew in from Kansas City.

I had to wake up at 4 a.m. Flew in at noon. Des picked me up at LaGuardia, and we went straight there. Wait, he picked you up at the airport? Yeah. Stop. I feel like that never happens in New York. Because we were in Queens already, and we didn't want to go back to Manhattan to go back to Queens. Got it. It was a logistics thing. Okay. But we got there, and I was starving. So naturally, I had a footlong hot dog. Not that easy to eat. Yeah.

I mean, I had sauerkraut. It just got everywhere. You had the whole thing. But I did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I was, like, obviously it was a little food coma, and I started, like, getting sleepy. And I was like, I need coffee. And you know I don't have coffee that often. Yeah, I know, I know. So I had coffee. And then while we were having coffee, I somehow convinced Des to let us have burrata also. Oh, my God.

It was at like one of those Eataly places. Yes, yes, I saw that. We got burrata and the match finished and we got back in the car. You know when you get like a gas bubble that wants to ruin your life? I had the worst gas bubble. I was like, I'm going to, I'm not going to shit myself. Like I'm going to have projectile diarrhea. It's crazy that this is how this conversation is going because before you started talking about your bowel movements-

I literally thought, wow, that's so sweet. All of Hannah's favorite things in one place, like her man, tennis match, some burrata. And then you're like, I will shit myself. My IBS is part of me. You know, I felt it a little and I'm like, I'll be fine. It takes 25 minutes to get home. I was at the point where I couldn't speak.

No, I haven't had that in years. Because you know how you're focusing? Yeah. And it comes in waves, so you're just like, I just have to get bed. And like your stomach gets so tight and you have to bend over. Like you have to be like, no, I'm going to die. I'm going to die. And at first I was like, do we not tell him? Like, do we just pretend I'm like sleepy right now?

And then I was just like, my tummy hurts. I tried to be cute about it. Like, yeah, my stomach is just like hurting a little. And he's like, oh, it's hurting. Yeah. And then I was like, if we don't get home in five minutes, I'm going to die. I made him. We have like I'm not trying to brag, but his apartment complex does have a parking lot, which is a reason why I said yes to the engagement. I was like, I was like, you need to drop me off.

And he was like, are you serious? And I was like, you need to drop me off. So I made him drop me off. Also, you want that five minutes in the apartment by yourself.

It was. Yeah. And I walk in and I'm like, butter's like, me, me, me. I'm like, not now, butter. Mama needs to drop the kids off at the pool. And then he came back and I just was like, everything's great. We're great. Everything's amazing. Don't go in the bathroom for about 17 minutes, but everything's great. They love you and thank you so much for the most beautiful day. I had the best time with you. But then he's so funny because he knows me and he's like, you know you don't do well with cheese. Why would you have burrata? Yeah.

And I was like, because I only live one life. Risk and reward, baby. Risk and reward. I will never say no to a barada in my vicinity. No, it's against our religion. Yeah. It's not my fault. God would come down from the heavens and be like, remember where you came from. Also, Paige, what do you think is the coincidence that every hot girl I know has IBS? Dude, no.

I don't know because God was like, you can't have it all. Yeah, we'd be too powerful if we could eat a ton of dairy and also run the world. We need to take a few bathroom breaks in between. My stomach problems keep me humble. And if I could be at the party all night, no one would be able to handle that kind of energy. Yeah, like I've made it an art of like holding it in.

I do think you're better, though, at, like, pacing yourself with meals. Like, I'll see you be like, okay, this is going to ruin me, so I'm going to, like, have a bite and I'll, like, pick on it all night. Yeah. Where I'm just like, I'm going to black out and shovel. I feel like I consume less calories if I eat for a longer period of time. The way you eat is how I drink.

Yes. Oh, my God. Wait, that's so true. I drink like a bird. Like, I just like sippy sip sip where like other people, it just goes down real fast. Like, I'll chug. Like, I'm never that friend where you're like, you were sober two seconds ago. You'll be like, honey, you've been drinking all night and you're not drunk. Yeah, you're like nursing drinks. Like, okay, that's how I am with a Chipotle burrito. Yeah.

Like I will have a couple bites and then I'll set it down and I'll wait. I'll go do something. Then I'll come back. I'll eat some more of it. And then like by the end of the night, I finish the burrito. But I feel I don't feel as stuffed. I've never gotten to the point where my Chipotle burrito got cold. Wow. I've never gotten to the point where the ice in my drink has melted. We get it. Yeah, we understand each other.

Okay, sweet. Whenever you was open, Fashion Week. Do you have any fun stories from Fashion Week? Oh my God. Okay, Fashion Week was so fun and it was like out of nowhere that Access Hollywood called me and they were like, okay, we want to send you to the Revolve Peter Dundas show and we're going to send you over an outfit. And in my head, I had to be cool on the phone. I was like, yeah, no, that sounds great. In my head, I was like... Let me talk to my people. Okay, they said okay. I've manifested this.

And it was so much fun. And I ended up seeing Emily Ratajkowski, like, live in person. When I tell you, she's not, like, model, model tall. But, like, she's tall. She's a pixie stick also. Yeah. Her face. There's no rhyme or reason why someone should be born with this pretty of a face. Like...

I couldn't stop looking at her. Like I was like, I probably look like a weirdo, but I am obsessed with you. And then art. No, it literally it's like I was like, why did God give you such a symmetrical face? She has IBS. Don't worry. Oh, yeah. She's shitting herself. And then Sierra was there. She's stunning. Lori Harvey, who I've never seen in person, a porcelain doll.

Like, I've never seen skin so fucking clear in my life. Like, to the point where I'm like, are you guys real? Like, are you actually humans? But it was so much fun. And fun fact, every single model that went down the runway almost ate shit. Like, absolute catastrophe. Like, every single time, everyone at the end of the runway would go, oh.

Because they were walking on, it wasn't glass, but it was like a mirror reflection, like runway. It looked sick. And we were on the roof of Casa Cipriani, which is like this new like Cipriani hotel, like all the way downtown.

So like the venue was cool as fuck, like looked great, but it was so slippery at the end. And so like you could tell that models were that were walking like with a fucking purpose would get to the end of the runway, not realize how slippery it was and slide a little bit, a little bit. And then with their momentum, like turn and walk the other way. So it was like deer on ice. That's exactly what it was. Stars on ice. I was like, if one of these...

Five, nine models fall. It's on me. So like, what will I do in that instance? They put these models through. What's funny is when you watch it, you're like, oh, they're just putting their right foot in front of their left foot. But then you'll see non-models walk and you're like, wait, that shit's not that easy. No, it looks terrifying. One girl's shoe broke and she was, I like looked down and like the strap is off of her shoe and she's walking like an absolute,

She was the mitochondria of the fashion show. She's the powerhouse of the cell. And she literally, by God's grace, it was just staying on. I don't know how they were doing it. You know how people bet on sports? They should just start betting on which model's going down. Yeah, they should. That's what we would have been doing. I give them a lot of credit. To have so many people watching you. Also, a lot of them probably haven't eaten for three weeks, so they're very dizzy. Probably. Yeah.

So I went to Rebecca Minkoff's show. Oh, yeah. How was your Fashion Week experience? You go, oh, I forgot. You had a moment on fashion. I shouldn't have been there. So basically, Elle magazine, which was Paige and myself's first breakout article. Yes, it was. Swipe up. I'll never forget that. We did that interview at Soho House. So chic of us. In the hallway. Yep.

Oh my god, throwback. Yeah, that was fun. That was chic though, in the hallway. We almost got kicked out. Yeah, you're not allowed to talk on your phone at Soho House, so you have to go in the hallway if you have a conference call. So Elle reached out and they said, we want to do a show called, I mean, an article called Fashion Week Virgins. Front row virgins. Okay. And I was like, thanks for assuming I've never been to a show, you're right. Okay.

Like kind of insulting, but spot on. Yeah, they wanted me to make a funny article about my experience at Fashion Week. And I was like, honestly, this is so on brand. Thank you for understanding me. So I'm going to wear my mink off. They send me this like black dress we love. But it's so funny because the day before I'm like a mess at a comedy club. Like truly, if you saw my outfit, you would have been like, did you not learn anything? So I was like, I have an outfit. I can't fuck this up. And I get there and we walk in the room.

And there's no models. And there's just like some bloggers walking around. And I'm with like the L editor. And I was like, what's up? What's happening? And she's like, honestly, I have no clue what's happening. And then they're like, Rebecca's coming. And Rebecca Minkoff walks in and she goes, welcome to the first ever NFT fashion show. No way. No way.

And if you look, it's basically like posters all around. She's like, these are 3D cryptocurrency, whatever. I mean, I don't know. I don't blacked out. Yeah. And she was like, welcome to the new metaverse of fashion. And I was like, it's too crazy. And then I was like, OK, not only was I going to have trouble writing about fashion, and I have to write about fucking NFTs. Dude, I don't know what they are.

You could have someone explain it to me for two hours. I don't get it. I'll never understand what it is. You just dated a lot of finance bros. Yes, I have. And like, I still don't get it. So I'm standing there with the editor and it is very techie. Like you can buy the NFTs on iPads. It's all virtual. And we're kind of walking around.

But I'm not about to ask her about NFTs and she's not about to explain it to me. Right. But Rebecca Minkoff is a badass. Yes, she is. She's very cool. She started her company during, I think, the year of 9-11 in 2001. And she's very just like New York hardcore. Yeah. And the stuff was beautiful. But then there was an interviewer who called herself Minnie Wintour. Yeah. That I sent to you. Yes. This girl...

was so fucking cute how old is she she looked like she was six yeah give her i mean you have to i mean face was six have to look at this girl's instagram because she's so adorable and hannah sent it to me and i go oh my god that's my daughter and hannah responded and goes or mine and i was like could you imagine she goes i'd literally give her to you

And that's true. So this girl, I'm scared of people at Fashion Week. Like, I feel like they have no souls. I feel like they're scary people. Yeah. This girl was doing full, like, 60-second dialogues to the camera. And her name is Taylin Biggs. But I finally, no one's talking to her, too. Like, everyone's scared of her. Like, you know when there's a room and there's a hierarchy of, like, who's the coolest in the room? It's really weird. The six-year-old took it.

The six year old was like, no one fucking make eye contact with me. But as like, as a silly bitch, I was like, I need to talk to her. So I go up to her and I say, excuse me, what's your Instagram handle? And she doesn't even say it. She just goes, T-A-Y-L-E-N-B-I-G-G-S. And I was like, oh my God, could you repeat that? Like, I missed that. And she was like, T-A-Y-L-E-N-B-I-G-G-S. And I was like, and I was like, can I take a video with you? And she's like, yep. She metaphorically stuffed you in a locker. Right?

I literally stole my glasses and stepped on them. And then I go, I did one of those things where I kind of like do an incestor where I kind of give them the floor. Like I'll be like, so what are you going to say? And some people freeze and just laugh and go delete that. She was just on it, like came up with some funny line. And then I just looked at her and I tried to have a moment like from a wise older woman to a young one. And I just said, by the way, you know, I do some hosting and what you're doing is really hard. You should be proud of yourself.

And she goes, no, it's not. I'm going to remove myself. I'm going to leave. Thank you for your time. I'll Venmo you. No, I'm dead. I'm crying. She goes, no, it's not. Her for president. Her for president. Her for president. And if you go to her Instagram, which you guys have to look at, because you're going to look and be like, that girl definitely told Hannah she's not cool enough to be at the fashion show. Yeah.

Her first line is... She turns to her security and she's like, we need to start tightening this list. She's like, mom, never let that happen again, okay? What an absolute badass. Her thing says, official backstage host for New York Fashion Week, Minnie Wintour, Lil Slate, actress, philanthropist. This bitch is a philanthropist. This bitch has a better resume than me.

She's like, if you need help, give your name to my mom and we'll add you to the list for charities, donations, whatever you need to leave me the fuck alone.

I was like, okay, thank you, Mrs. Dix. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Wait. That's so cute. Oh, my God. If my daughter is exactly like that. She was honestly the best part. She's the best part of the show. But yeah, I have to write an article now about NFTs at Rebecca Minkoff's. And I'm just like, oh, stupid. Yeah. I thought I was going to be like talking about the outfits. And I'm just like, I can't.

And I was joking with the editor. I was like, oh, this is going to be fun to write about. And in my head, I'm like, can't think of one sentence. No. I forgot how to put words together. Also, I just got my self-esteem stomped by a six-year-old. Oh, my God. If I were going to immediate cold sweat like I was back in college, like, I didn't read the book. I can't write this paper. I didn't read the book. I feel like you always have...

Those dreams. Like those nightmares. About like not being able to read at school and stuff. I had a dream last night. That someone said that my Spotify playlist was trash. Oh.

And I was so embarrassed. We have to update our Gingrich Squad playlist, by the way. We have to have a day where we just order Chipotle and just like update. Speaking of dreams, I have these like constant anxiety dreams of just like being in college and not knowing what class I'm supposed to be at next. And then even if I do find it, I don't know how to get there. What does that mean? It's like a control thing. Like, oh, I lost control.

Do you ever type your dreams into Google and like see what comes up? You have to start doing it. Oh my God, that's fun. Like I had this dream, this is like a couple months ago. So I forget what it even was, but like something about snakes. And I typed it in and it was like, if you have snakes in your dream, even if they don't make sense in your dream, but you like see a snake or a snake is there. I forget what the, oh no, no, no, no. This is what it was.

I forget what the snake one was, but I had a dream that all my teeth fell out. Yep. I have the same thing. And I typed that in and there was like, you have said something that you regret saying and you can't let it go. Like try and figure out what it was and like either apologize for it or like forgive yourself for it. But it's like your subconscious being like, damn, I wish I didn't say that. Or like I would. Yeah.

Is that crazy? Wow, video reality TV, that is every damn day. Yeah, every damn day. I've looked at it. Sometimes, like, yeah, my teeth will crumble in my mouth. Yeah. And I Googled it, and they said something also that, I mean, there's obviously different perspectives, but they said, like, you're afraid of how people are seeing you.

Cause like smiling is associated with like ego and like how people, if they like you and it's like, you're seeing, you're scared of like people's perception of you. Yes. Wow. What a segue into what I need to talk about now.

Welcome, friends, to the Playful Scratch from the California Lottery. We've got a special guest today, the Scratcher's Scratch Master himself, Juan. Juan, you've mastered 713 playful ways to scratch. Impressive. How'd you do it? Well, I began with a coin, then tried a guitar pick. I even used a cactus once. I can scratch with anything, even this mic right here.

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It's my favorite time of year. It's summer going into fall. It's the best fashion part of the year. It's my favorite season. And sometimes shifting your summer wardrobe to fall can be a little bit of a challenge. But luckily we have Quince, which offers timeless and high quality items that I absolutely adore. And the best part about it is it's

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That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash giggly. I don't know if you guys have noticed from my Instagram stories, but I've basically switched all my loungewear over to Skims. I was obviously obsessed with their bras and underwear, but now I really can't get enough of their soft lounge collection. I have their soft lounge tank with

with their matching lounge fold over pant. I'm absolutely obsessed. Not only do I wear it inside, but I actually wear it to travel a lot too. I noticed in my drawer the other day that basically all my bras and underwears are skims, but also now all of my t-shirts and my loungewear is skims. I've pretty much cleared out all my lounge sets after I moved. I just like got rid of everything. I was like, I don't need all of these random sweatpants and sweatshirts.

and really replaced everything with Skims because I know it's always going to look good, and I know it always feels amazing. And you know how much I love laying in bed, so if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan. Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com, now available in sizes XXS to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select Podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop-down menu.

Speaking of people's perception. So this past weekend, I went on a very wholesome family weekend. And I learned a few things about myself. Did you have a wellness retreat without me? Pretty much. No, I went on a wellness retreat. And it was the best weekend ever. But what I learned about myself leading up to that weekend was I am a whore.

Because let me tell you something, I don't own one bathing suit that my ass isn't just completely out. I literally had one bathing suit to pack to like hang out at a very nice family's home for the weekend.

And I was terrified to even put it on. Thank God I don't have like big boobs because I was like, I can't go with my ass out and my boobs out and like short shorts. And I was freaking out. I actually in the process insulted my best friend from high school so badly.

because I FaceTimed her at 2 a.m. on Thursday evening and was like, hey, you're basic. Help me pack a face. How do normal people dress? I didn't say those exact words to her, but I was like, hey, you love jeans and t-shirts. You've been to church. What do I wear?

Well, it's not your fault because style has suddenly become accepted to like every bathing suit looks like you're at a club in Miami and they don't have an in-between. I told Paige, I was like, we have so many quality, high quality Giggly Squad sweatshirts. Just put that shit over everything. I literally just packed denim shorts and sweatshirts and like t-shirts and I...

I don't know how the girls are not talking about this enough. Like, how do you go meet a man's family for the first time and not look like he also ties you up sometimes? Like, it's so crazy. I saw a meme and thought of you. I think you know the one I think. I know which one you're talking about. Yeah, when the parents are like, she's so wholesome and shows a girl tied up, like, me in his bedroom. In her son's room. No. No.

So like, if you're a girl who can do both, but people always talk about what to dress to look hot. But what do you dress to? Also, you don't have a day job. A lot of people, the day job have. Also, you don't have a real job. You don't do anything. What?

But if you had a, well, no, actually I heard that at your old job, you literally wore insane things. I wore insane things, but it's also like we live in New York city, so you can step outside wearing anything. And people are like, Oh my God, it's art. It's fashion. It's like you can wear expression. You don't understand it. So like,

Anything. Also, my parents like have lived with me now for 28 years. Like they know when I come home, like if I'm wearing some weird shit, like one time I was wearing a bathing suit. My dad was like, look.

We know that you are just like crazy, but like your uncle's coming over You can't wear that and like valid you got it. You're right today. We went to the beach My dad still thinks I'm a six-year-old. Yeah, and I put on my bathing suit and he goes Where's the rest of your bathing suit? I go dad. It's a bathing suit. Yeah, it's a bikini Like it wasn't even I was like full ass covered. Yeah, you know how I wear my bathing suit Yeah, because here's the thing. Here's why it's hard. I

You want to pack because you want his family to be like, she's wholesome. She's the girl next door. We love her. But you also want like your man to be like, she's so cute. Like she's still so hot. Like, so the middle ground, what do you do? Well, this is also the thing. I think that you are the queen of fashion.

being like high fashion and very like sexy sultry look like you've really nailed it but there are other sides to you that people don't see on instagram thank you and she's like oh my god thank you

You're not a one-dimensional cocky bitch. And I think also what people forget about relationships is in the very beginning, like the hot, bothered stage, it's all about sex. It's all about pheromones. But there's going to be a time where when you get wifed up... Yeah. Yeah.

It's because he loves your heart. He can see you being the mother of his children. He can see you just hanging with his friends. It's not always about having your labia out in the room. It's just like being chill. So I wanted to bring the most chill vibes ever. I wanted to be like, she can just. She's so laid back. Do you Google outfits? That would be so fun. So I called my best friend from high school, Stephanie.

And she goes, look, I go, look, you like you need to help me with fashion. And she goes, never once have you ever said that to me. I'm honored. I'm here for you. I am the girl at those like family parties in the T-shirt and denim shorts. She did all my outfits for the weekend and I crushed it. Did you wear a T-shirt and denim shorts? Yes. Yes.

I went to a family day party and I had to wear a bathing suit and I wore denim shorts, my bathing suit and just a white button up. And I was, I was just. Did you, did you like yourself in it? I was uncomfortable like at first, but then I was like, wait, this is a good compromise of like me being me, but also just like,

take it down a notch. Like, I don't need to be in, like, booty shorts and a matching crop top. You know, like, I can just... But it's also so funny that you're your most comfortable in booty shorts and a crop top, where, like, I'm my most comfortable just in a baggy t-shirt and spandex shorts. And that's where I can, like, vibe. Like, I can do my thing. I packed a lot of matching sweatsuits. Okay, that's really good. Yeah, like, I think you...

I just love that you had to dig really deep. I didn't pack up one pair of heels. I didn't even think about packing a pair of heels. That's adorable. I packed one pair of flip flops and a pair of sneakers. You know, I'm very proud of you and being comfortable. It's funny because beauty is pain, but sometimes you can be beautiful without pain.

I was the most comfortable bitch all weekend. I was like, is this what people are out here doing? You're like, wait. Wearing goddamn t-shirts and chilling. You don't have to suck in all the time? I was like, wait a damn minute. I can put a hoodie on and just chill by the pool? Wait, are you about to, like, be street wear Paige? No. Then I came back to New York and I was like, I can't wait to wear an outfit. Okay.

Speaking of beauty is pain. Yeah. I just did a TikTok on this yesterday. Have you seen the lip plumper ads? Yeah. The ones. Wait, are you talking about the ones where they are talking about the Outer Banks girl? Yep. Yes. Well, first of all, doesn't the Outer Banks girl have fake lips? I mean, her boyfriend does. So she probably does too. Yeah.

They go to the same place. You cannot tell me that John B does not have fake lips. John B has fake lips and it's very strange and no one talks about it. No, people need to fucking talk about it. Like I'm, I just want people to be honest about it. Cause right now you're making, it's basically a Kylie Jenner thing where Kylie's like, do you want lips like me? But,

Buy these $30 lip kits. Yeah. And your lips will look just like me. It's like, no, you have like thousands of dollars worth of procedures on your face. Here's the thing. People get it twisted when we talk about plastic surgery. We're not knocking getting plastic surgery. We're knocking denying it. Like I will tell you, I 100% at some point will get Botox, maybe get a little filler. And I am going to tell you exactly where I did it and how much I did. She's going to swipe up.

Yeah, I'm going to have swipe ups for you. It's funny because I'm more than you rant about it. So I'm not going to throw you under the bus with me. Let's let's call a spade a spade. It's my fault. But I've gotten some messages from gigglers being like, hey, like I got my nose done and it made me really happy. And I was like and she's like, and I don't want to feel bad about it. And I was like, literally, no, I don't want you to feel like you have to change your whole face.

Because of shit you're seeing online that's manipulated. Yeah. But if you...

Wanted to change your nose and you did it makes you happy amazing Yeah Just don't think that that's what's really gonna bring you happiness and I get afraid that girls are just gonna go overboard and just keep changing Keep changing. It's a slippery slope because I do actually have a lot of girlfriends who have gotten nose jobs Yeah, same has changed their life like they really are so much more common They almost they still look still look like themselves like unless they one of my girlfriends got a lip flip and

And I had seen her and I was just like, you look really good. Like you just, I don't know. There's something about you that just like looks different. But like, it wasn't like she didn't look like herself. And she was like, I actually got, I was scared to get my lips done, but I wanted something to like give me a little more confidence. And I got a lip flip.

And like I feel so much better. And like I would have never known if she didn't tell me. Like I just saw her when I was like, damn, girl, like you just look really good. Yeah. But when you're putting all your happiness on, like if my face looks a type of way, it is a slippery slope. Yeah, it is. Like your value comes from just like being like. But I do have friends who were so bullied because of their nose. So bullied where it's like.

then you can change it. Because there's just certain things in society where if you're that different, people suck and they're going to make you feel bad about it. I mean, I've thought about this my entire life because I've never had big boobs ever. And I think the first time I thought about what if I got a boob job was in high school. And every couple of months, I really think about it. And it really wasn't until...

Oh, my God. I think I was like 25, 26, where I was just like, OK, why do I actually want it? And is it because of me or is it because of other? I think other people would think I was hotter or other people. And once I realized like, oh, it's because I want other people to like me more. I was like, why the fuck would I do that? I don't give a shit.

And then like my, yeah. And then like my next boyfriend or whatever was like out of nowhere. Yeah. It was like, I love how like small you are or like whatever. And I was like, damn. Okay. So like the right person is like, I don't give a shit. And like, so if I don't need it for me, then why would I do it? Our mental health moment is anxiety stems from you, you as a person who you are versus who you portray to the world. And the bigger difference is,

the bigger amount of anxiety you have. So it's like the more you can find your authentic self and like represent who you are. Cause also at the end of the day, what are you going to get a nose job and fillers and lip to just look like a Walmart version of Kylie Jenner? Like look like yourself. Also like I'm sure Kylie Jenner in actual human form, like standing next to her, it's, she probably looks crazy. Yeah.

I mean, your face is not supposed to have that much shit in it. But also, we're not shitting on Kylie Jenner. Kylie Jenner is a product of a lot of...

Of someone having a lot of attention on social media And getting a lot of hate on social media Yeah Also my mom has me At a young age My mom has like She makes me such a hypochondriac Like Since I was a little She's always said the phrase like And that'll get in your bloodstream And then you'll die Like about anything Is that why you haven't gotten Botox? It's

It seriously scares me. Even when I get a UTI, she'll be like, that'll get in your bloodstream. Which she is right. That could happen. But every time I think of fillers, I'm like, yeah, but what if I am the one girl and it gets in my bloodstream? Or like whole half of your face just sags. Yeah, that's terrifying. And then you have to deal with me. Yeah. Oh my God. You would berate me. Like, I told you not to change your whole face.

These lip plumpers are fucking hilarious because I googled them. Basically, they're like mint and cinnamon. They basically just burn your lip. Yeah. So your lips are burnt. It's basically poisoning your lips. And they so they look a little bigger for like 10 minutes and it hurts like it's not comfortable. Yeah, it's not fun.

And then I started to think, like, who is this making happy? Like, you know, you're in pain. A guy you're going to kiss is not the point of lips to be like, I want to kiss her. He's going to be like, did you just put a spell on me? And then I'm definitely not happy about it because I'm ranting about on TikTok. And then I Googled it. It's like dries out your lips. You could get infections like it's so bad. And girls, why is it so potent?

Because to make the lips big, you have to burn them. It looks like a bunch of bees. It looks like you're having an allergic reaction. Okay, but what if we did an experiment here on Giggly Squad and I ordered it? Yeah. Yeah, we'll do it. Because I do love a lip plump. I know, but how long do they last? The lip glosses don't last long, like at all. Like a normal lip gloss. And are you really going to reapply all night and just be like buzzing?

You don't know me. Like you feel like your lips are asleep. They never, I've never gotten that. I've never gotten to the point where my lips are fully numb, but it's like they do burn a little. And I have kissed a man or two before that has been like, are you like, what is that?

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Welcome, friends, to the Playful Scratch from the California Lottery. We've got a special guest today, the Scratcher's Scratch Master himself, Juan. Juan, you've mastered 713 playful ways to scratch. Impressive. How'd you do it? Well, I began with a coin, then tried a guitar pick. I even used a cactus once. I can scratch with anything, even this mic right here.

See? See? Well, there you have it. Scratchers are fun no matter how you scratch. Scratchers from the California Lottery. A little play can make your day. Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim. Wait, why do you have Bob Ross on the Google Doc? That's just a dope documentary. Dude.

Do you know that he's my new obsession? Did you watch the documentary? Okay, I didn't watch the documentary, but I'm about to. I, like, walked into the bedroom or whatever, and Bob Ross was on the TV. I don't think I've ever been more relaxed in my damn life. Like, it was. So, just, like, got out of my own head, watched this nice man paint a beautiful mountain scene. He also gives, like, life advice. Life advice.

And he's so monotone, but I like it. I don't like the way he says white. He says white paint like white. Because he says it like that, I'm fine with it. Anyone else would absolutely get punched in the face. Also, do you know that you can't buy his paintings? There's a whole lot of shit underneath the empire of Bob Ross. I highly recommend you guys watch it on Netflix. But Bob Ross basically invented ASMR. Yeah. And I don't want to like... Happy little clouds. I don't...

Say it again. Beat the devil out of it. Beat the devil out of it. I don't want to like, what is it called? He has a whole channel. Tell you guys what happened. But Bob Ross is an absolute angel and he got taken advantage of with some business dealings. And basically he lost the rights to his name. And a bunch of people, even now that he's passed away, like his family doesn't get any of it. Like, yeah. No. But Bob Ross is an incredible human who changed lives.

You guys have to watch a documentary. So that's the dope documentary of the week, Bob Ross. And then finally to wrap this up, even though we were like so excited talking about the beginning, but we got curtailed MTV Music Awards. One of my girlfriends said to me the other day, do people care about these? Yes.

I feel like it's really good easy quick drama because you put a bunch of celebs in a room. Yeah, it's more like a spectacle and I can appreciate. Do you want me to tell you a quick review and you can give me your okay. So people liked Madonna's ass. She showed it. It looked great. What else is now? Lil Nas wore this incredible lilac outfit. Yes, I saw that.

But did you see how the presenter, like, totally dissed him? No, what'd he say? Who was the presenter? So he basically just said, like, do I look good? And the announcer thought she was kind of funny. It was like, listen, I'm not going to say I'm hating on the fit, but let's move on. Who was it? And everyone was like, oh!

It was kind of this just like MTV announcer. Jamila Mustafa. Didn't Billie Eilish insult? Who'd she insult? Okay, so this one is a reach. J.Lo walks on stage and you know they like cut to the audience and Billie Eilish just like isn't clapping. But I think she was just spacing out.

Yeah, if I had a dollar. Like, I know me at anything that lasts more than 30 minutes. Your girl's spaced out. Yeah, I'm thinking about something else. I'm thinking about, like, what do we have at home that we're going to make in the air fryer? Like, what...

And then finally, this fight between Conor McGregor and Machine Gun Kelly that like Machine Gun's people, they didn't want to associate him with that. And they were just like, it never happened. But there's like all these photos. So apparently Conor asked him for a picture. Machine Gun said no. And then Conor McGregor threw a drink at Machine Gun Kelly.

And then Machine Gun Kelly was like doing an interview and someone said, what happened with Conor McGregor? And he looked at the like host and then walked away. And how funny is it? OK, always look at like the girl in that situation, because like, you know, your man is like in a scuffle. Not even not even a scuffle. Just like fighting with someone gets in a fight with someone. It's the most embarrassing shit in the world. And you're just like, fuck.

Like, what do I do as a supportive? I lost control of the testosterone. As a supportive girlfriend to him, but also just not looking like a complete asshole. And also, like, not somehow getting punched in the face like Snooki in between. Right. And Megan Fox handled it, I think, exactly how I would have handled it. She just went, ha ha, and, like, followed her boyfriend. Yeah.

was like this is awkward but I love him so like I don't know what you guys want from me I think this might be a lie but I like saw on a meme or something that Con McGregor said he dresses like a real housewife but I think that might have been a joke that someone wrote but he

But he was wearing an outfit that Lisa Rinna would wear. And then I also saw some conspiracy theories that Machine Gun Kelly is really good friends with Logan Paul and Logan Paul and Conor McGregor hate each other. And maybe there's something to do with that. I mean, there has to be some beef because if I'm a celebrity and I'm a status of Machine Gun Kelly and then there's another celebrity equal or more or less than my celebrity-dom...

I just made that word up. And they asked me for a picture. Like I would be a little starstruck. So to say no, you have to dislike that person for a specific reason. It's like McGregor was like poking him maybe, but also, yeah, like he, maybe he was asking for a picture like, and being an asshole about it. And so machine gun Kelly was like, fuck you. No, but also I love that. We have no, you guys know, we have allegedly, we have no idea what happened, but that was just a conspiracy theory that we made up. We have no idea.

But also, like, look at, like, sports announcers. They just talk for hours on what they think is going to happen in the game. No one has any idea. Okay. Also, what about Megan Fox and Kourtney Kardashian being like, give it up for our future baby daddies? And they're talking about Machine Gun and Travis.

I mean, the media is good. The media is good. They just want a headline. The media has been crazy this past week. John Mulaney, Olivia Munn having a baby. Jennifer Lawrence having a baby. I have to run. I have to head back into the city. But I'll see you this week. Yes. We'll have some fun events. Also, guys, our Giggly Squad merch just dropped. Dude. New see you in court. Wait, Hannah. And the day got away from me. Hannah. What? It's time for us to announce. Oh, my God. We have another big announcement. Do you know the date? No. No.

Giggly Squad is doing a live show in the beginning of November. We are going to Philadelphia.

We will let you know the exact date, but we're pretty sure it's going to be the second weekend of November. And we're going to have just fucking giggles in person. Like we're going to have the best time. It's going to be the best time. We're basically throwing just a big ass party and performing for you guys. A live Gingly Squad. And we're going to have like audience interaction. We actually, we're going to just pop off. Yeah, we're going to pop off. We're just going to wing it. But we're all going to hang out.

And I feel like so many gigglers are virtually friends with each other, but this will be the first time they could get together. But you guys, I know some of you were like, fuck, why did you pick Philly? First of all, Philly invented the United States or something. Second of all, Paige's Psychic said Philly was a good idea.

Third of all, we wanted to just do like our first show in a market like Philly to then expand and do other states. But Philly was just close and had the perfect availability for us. And we love a Philly cheesesteak. So tickets are going on sale soon. And we are so excited to meet all of you guys in person and...

Take a shit ton of photos. Yeah, let's absolutely pop off at our live Giggly Squad. And just giggle until we have diarrhea. Okay, guys, we love you so much. And we'll talk to you later. Thanks for giggling with us today. Bye. Bye.