Giggling about tour life, personality prostitutes, and the tinder swindler
52:36 Share

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn.com slash results.

LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Sometimes just drinking water is kind of boring. Hannah hates plain water. You literally can't give it to her, even in the dead of the summer. So with Liquid IV, it makes drinking water refreshing like summer popsicle flavors. They have firecracker, rainbow sherbet that really just hit everything.

the spot everyone knows i'm a stanley girl and sometimes plain water does just get boring when you're drinking it all day every day and liquid iv is so easy and convenient you just tear pour and enjoy plus if you're already drinking that much water why not double your hydration

Liquid IV is scientifically formulated to quickly replenish electrolytes and fluids lost from sweat or exercise. It has 100% daily value of four essential B vitamins, excellent source of vitamin C, and it's on-the-go hydration. Tear, pour, and live more. One stick,

With 16 ounces of water, hydrates better than water alone. Indulge in hydration this summer with Liquid IV and get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code GIGGLY at checkout. That's 20% off your first order when you shop better hydration today using promo code GIGGLY at liquidiv.com. Sup, Gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me. What is up, my grandma-gagglers? Wait. Gram-iglers. What are you even trying to say? Gram-iglers. What are you trying to say? Basically, all the gigglers over 40 call themselves gram-glers. Okay, you guys need to think of a better word for that because I'm not putting that on my brand. It's too many syllables. It turns out there's tons of gigglers out there who are over 40 and...

We love them. I mean, my grandma's the oldest. She's 80 and she listens to every episode religiously. Nana still got it. We love you. Shout out. I get so excited when I see a DM from Nana that's just like, you're so pretty.

I'm like, Nana, I needed that today. When Nana calls someone pretty, she means it. She's also doing this new aesthetic where she just kind of sits on her bed and has my papa take photos of her posing on the bed. And that's anything I could ever want from marriage. She's just a superstar. Anyway, speaking of superstars, the Gigglers have been on tour with us.

If there's one thing I noticed about our tour, how many men... The Geiglers? ...are actually fans. Yeah. I couldn't believe...

So we did this whole segment where like we talked to a boyfriend in the crowd and, you know, we want to shit on them. But the gigglers have such good taste in men. And one of the questions was like, do you even know who we are? And he said, these tickets were my birthday gift. And I almost started crying. Well, I was like, do you know what my name is? Like treating them like they're so stupid. And the guy's like Hannah Lucy Burner. And I'm like, middle name. OK.

He knows my social security number. I always forget your middle name is Lucy. And every time I hear it, I get just as excited as if it was the first time. I love my middle name so much more than my first name. But honestly, you know how like when someone's like, oh, I was going to be named this. And you're like, oh, my God, you're so not a that.

You could be a Lucy. Honestly, it's my biggest beef with my mom that she didn't name me Lucy because everyone makes fun of how I pronounce Hannah. But again, another time for my therapist session. So I want to talk about our tour. Is your sleep back yet? Because I slept till three today. My sleep is not back. I fall asleep at 3.30 in the middle of the night.

And then I wake up at like 11, 1130. And I can't. I even tried to sleep deprive myself the other night and be like, okay, don't take a nap. Don't take a nap because you're going to fall asleep at like 11 tonight. I was still up till three. I can't figure it out. I have so much appreciation for you as just like a human in general. Oh my God, stop. But the fact that you go on tour every,

and go to like all these places all over the country and do stand up and you're by yourself. Like I could never do our live podcast tour if I was by myself. Like I'd immediately start crying and I should be like, oh, what to say? So the fact that you go and do stand up by yourself and travel and like get hotels and do like all these logistics and we know you hate admin. I just, I'm, I'm just, I was like, I said, mom, I don't know how she does it.

I got to go home. The first thing I said to Hannah, like our first show when we got off stage and she literally started dying laughing. I said, I understand Justin Bieber. Him and I are simpatico and I get it. Justin Bieber cannot feel dopamine anymore because he had so many highs from his concerts of millions of people. First stop we did was Seattle. Me either. Now, I'd never been to Seattle.

It took forever to get there. We were basically in Europe. No, I literally felt like I was in... What is there? What's right there? Oh, Russia. You could see Russia from there. No, Canada. Canada.

You know, it literally felt like I could see Russia from there. Seattle crowd was by far the most wild. I think so too. They had to close the woman's restroom because someone puked and then they were going to... Something wild always happens at one of our shows and we don't find out until like the next... Like in Philly, a girl literally like broke her collarbone. Like...

Then we went to L.A. I was the most nervous for L.A. because I feel like we had the most like industry people that were going to be there. Craig came to that one. He was our surprise guest. Like there was just my best friend from high school was there. Like there was just so much more pressure for L.A. Well, also, the green room is a place for the artists as creators for you to sit before your performance. We threw a party.

We threw a party in ours. Normally you're supposed to just sit and relax, focus, maybe run through, you know, what you're doing. Where our LA green room was lit. Just vodka flowing. Everyone was screaming. People were screaming. We were like... At one point I'm like, have we checked if we're supposed to be on stage right now? We were like, I think the opener is like finishing and we should probably go up there. But it was so funny because afterwards everyone's like, you guys going out? And we're like...

Paige has already ordered McDonald's. It's on the way. We do have now an after show tradition where I do the McDonald's order. We go, we sit in the bed, we eat it. And I will say after Seattle, I cried hysterically. Not because the McDonald's order was wrong. It was correct. But I was laying in my bed and I'm not kidding. The adrenaline rush and then like it being over, I felt like I was...

literally on lsd and like it was i was on the come down i had to facetime hannah and make sure like i was okay she facetimed me at 1 a.m and she was like this is the craziest drug i've ever done and i take back all the things i said about you being a prude ass bitch because this is

crazy emotionally it's great yeah like I understand why you don't do drugs because you go out on stage and then you have to sit after with yourself you just run through everything that happened do you think people had fun do you think people liked it and it's just you think about every it's

It's a crazy experience. It's not an edited TV show or like an edited podcast. Like you can't take back anything that happened or the experience. But I always try to say like people remember how you made them feel, not what you said. And like we know the vibe. We know the vibe from L.A. We did not stay. We did not stay. We went to San Francisco, which I learned you can't say San Fran.

You can't say it. Oh, no, that's corny. I didn't know. Did you say it? Yeah, I did. And someone DM me and she was like, I'm not trying to call you out. But like as a friend, don't say that ever again. Yeah. When I say I have a show in Long Island, everyone's like it's on Long Island. That I'll never agree with. Anyway, San Francisco, people were smart. People were very smart. People were techie.

We actually had a technical issue. We didn't even know we were having a technical issue. Someone in the crowd goes, your computer's dying. And we're like, wow, you guys really are smart here. San Francisco was the most beautiful theater, like red seats. I felt like I was about to do an opera except with jokes about men being trash. And then...

We had also like, it's funny how energy works with the crowd. Like certain parts of the crowd will have each other's energy. Like one part was fucked up. One side was wild, positive heckling us. And the other side was like, we will laugh when you need us to. We will clap. We'll do anything. We're so well behaved. The other side was like, put me in detention, bitch. Put me in detention. The worst part of the trip was that on our first flight from Seattle to Chicago,

To LA Yeah I lost my laptop Which some would say Is an important thing You didn't lose it You didn't And yeah Let's just also mind you Our PowerPoint presentation For the said shows That we were going to do Are in fact on Hannah's laptop Yeah

um luckily wi-fi is a thing and it was able to be set am i the drama no literally everything couldn't have been smoother it was we met a giggler in the airport like we were just living our lives also i've been flying like a madman i've been not trying to brag i'm jet setting around pittsburgh ohio wild places but this is what happened i don't mean to blame a giggler but one giggler gave us maple syrup from canada

I think it was from Canada. I don't know, but it was a beautiful little thing of maple syrup. And when my bag came out, they do the whole, man, we got to check your bag. And then everyone looks at you like, Ooh, you do cocaine. And then you're like, I'm in trouble. So he said that to me, like, is this your bag? And I'm like, yes. So I go to get the bag. I'm also like trying to find Paige because Paige has TSA pre. I don't because I don't do admin. That would be for me to accomplish.

So the guy's going through the bag. Wait, it is such a fucking rigmarole. No, it's such a rigmarole. And they do it on purpose. Go in person for an interview. No, absolutely not. Also, they'd be like, why do you have dildo ads every week? I'd be like, who are you? Shut the fuck up.

Anyway, so the guy is like going through my bag and I'm like, come on, come on. Paige is waiting. And then he pulls out the maple syrup and he's like, oh, this is actually the right amount. We don't have to take it from you. And I'm like, thanks. And immediately I go to see Paige. We're sitting there. A giggler is at the airport. She recognized our voices while we were talking shit. We were having so much fun. We're in the flight together. We're taking Insta stories. And I'm like, I can't wait to edit Giggly Squad.

the podcast on a Monday. It's Monday. Monday at like 12 p.m. Bitch forgot her laptop. And let's just say it's... I'm in the... Wait. I'm in the row. Tell the whole story. I'm in the row ahead of her. Okay. And she is like my child that I'm traveling with. She taps my shoulder. Paige. I turn around, take my headphone out. I'm like, yes, Hannah. Okay.

So what happened was, it's not my fault because I accidentally took out. I was like, spit it out.

She's like, I forgot my laptop during TSA and I think it's in Seattle. I was so ashamed to tell you. Like, I felt like you're going to be so disappointed in me. No. I was like, I'm stupid and I did a stupid. It's literally like you're in your backseat of your mom's car. She's already pissed at you because you're late for school and you have to tell her that you forgot your backpack in the driveway. Yeah.

And she's like, what? That is a thousand percent. And I remember you at first being like, oh, this is really bad. And then I was like, it'll be okay, though. I'll figure it out. I just need to use your laptop. And you were like, okay. Everything was worked out. However, the laptop coming from Seattle, stuck in Oregon.

Currently using Des' laptop. Yes, we're still together if anyone was wondering. So that fucking happened. Everything was going too smoothly. It was. We actually needed you to lose your laptop. We felt better after that. Yeah, we did. We're like, this is more us. But also the fact that I don't lose everything every time we travel from hotel to there. I'm known for losing things. Like I'm an avid, I think I might have ADHD and that's what I'm blaming it on. But like my dad was always like, she'd lose her torso if it wasn't attached to her body.

I haven't lost something since 2010. Like, it's just not in my repertoire to do. So I felt...

even more anxious that I wasn't in control of the thing lost. Yes. How do you not lose things? Like, are you constantly doing like phone, wallet, keys, phone, wallet, keys? Are you just like have a good home for everything? I think it's because I have a home for everything. Like, I know what's in my suitcase. I know what's in my carry-on. I can also tell from like the weight of my carry-on. I'm like, I think I left a bobby pin. I do.

See, if one thing in my routine gets twisted, I'll forget everything. Got it. Like if it's not just me doing the same. So this, when he got, that guy took my backpack, everything went awry. Everything went awry. My brain was just like, and it has a Giggly Swag sticker if anyone sees it.

hit a girl up her nudes are in her photo album for sure so look those up as well i only have nudes on my camera but i guess that means it's on the iCloud my camera on my phone is it crazy that like if someone leaked a nude right now it would be like good for you like women empowerment bodies are beautiful but like when we were in high school i didn't even i would never even think about taking a nude because that would it would ruin your whole life

I mean, I still feel like it would ruin my whole life if someone leaks my... Same. Not tits, but like labia. I don't need that on the internet. Labia leakage is a new thing. Tits, honestly, people would be like, oh, didn't think her boobs would be that nice. Yeah.

I don't need my 10 inch labia on Google. You know what I mean? Imagine you leak a nude and the response is like pleasantly surprised. Do you feel worse or better? Honestly, brave. She's brave. Oh my God. Speaking of, I had the most wild question of me and I'm going to leave names out of this because this is my good friend who I love and I might actually want to do this eventually. I was asked to be a personality prostitute.

What the fuck's that mean? Okay, I get a message from someone.

And they go, hey, like, I know you're busy, but I have this friend who's a billionaire. And he's bored out of his mind and said to me, can you give the names of some female comics who want to come and hang in his huge mansion? He has insane parties and private chefs and just wants funny women there. It's like the Playboy Mansion, but funny women who don't fuck him and get paid. I don't really understand it, but it's basically a five-star paid vacation. And I was like, tell me more.

And you're like, here's my Venmo. She's like, you just hang out with the girls, workout party. Didn't love the workout part. Didn't understand why that had to be a thing. Maybe do a set. Because I go, wait, is there a gig involved? Like, do I perform? And she was like, not really. Like, for him. Did you coin this term personality prostitute? Or, wow, that was good. He'd pay for travel. I don't want you to think I'm trying to get you into, like, a sex trafficking ring. Like, it's no sex, but he'll pay for everything. Yeah.

I've watched this documentary before. I know. The episode starts. You who literally is obsessed with cults is telling me about a text that you got from a friend about traveling out of the country to some guy's mansion. You're like, no, but it's totally cool because I'm just going to like be myself and be funny. Hannah, no, you're not going. She goes, he will love your personality. So, you know, I was like, wait, this is amazing. He's like, I hate those pretty girls that aren't funny.

And I was like, there's literally a way to get children into a van and it's puppies and candies. And it's, there's a way to get Hannah into a van and it's, you love her personality. And you act like you don't want to fuck me. Yeah.

No, literally. He just gave you the equivalent of getting you into an unmarked van. And then she goes, do you know any hot girls that are actually funny and fun to hang with that would come so I could be less bored? That's what the guy said to her. So now there's a new thing, guys. You can't just be hot to go on these yachts. You have to make jokes. They're leveling up. The billionaires are leveling up. They must be stopped. I don't know this man, but I can guarantee you.

That he does not deserve a funny and hot and smart girl hanging around him. No, this is so... You want to know what, actually? This is very sad. He has to pay people to hang out with him. So he's basically saying, like, I actually want friends because just hot girls are not, like, doing it for me. Which is dark. But I do have to say, guys, more money, more problems. When I used to teach tennis after college, I'd meet some pretty wealthy people where...

They're so rich and they've maybe burned bridges with people or they just can't connect with people because they are so rich. They don't understand normal life. Or people just use them. Yeah. So they just like, like they have a tennis girl. They have a yoga girl. They have like a chef and they just travel with their like crew. But a lot of celebrities are like that too. Do you wonder what? Since I've been on tour.

As a touring artist. But I get having like a very small circle who does like some type of job and keeping them around and that becomes your, those become your best friends. Yeah, and they overhear everything, like the team, if they're consistent everywhere. But I also feel like what this guy's asking for, he's like, you know, you ever think I want a whole new friend group? Yeah.

Literally every day. No, but you're like, I wish I just met a bunch of new funny, cool people. This guy's like, can I pay for it? The fact that it's only women is like the creepy part of it. Yeah, that's creepy. I talked to Des and Des was like, I mean, I'm going to be in Ireland. Like if you want to go, it's all cool. Like, you know that girl, right? And I'm like, Des, this is how I die. Like this is the beginning. So if you guys see me in Hawaii, don't worry about me. Mind your damn business.

respect my privacy no I can't Hannah I I'm calling your mom immediately after this podcast because I do feel like I would bomb like I'd be so nervous to be funny around him I'd be like

So what's the deal with palm trees? Am I right? Fuck. I'm going to leave. I will say that that one dinner. Remember that one dinner party we did like a couple of summers ago with like a group of my guy friends and you it was literally like you were just on and it was like boom, boom. Like every single thing that you said was hilarious. So you actually are really good in settings like that.

Until I decide I'm done. Like I once I. Then I'm like I got to go home. I think my biggest concern regardless of like the sex trafficking rape and like money laundering. Murder. I can't be on vacation with people. It's my nightmare to be stuck somewhere. No. So far from home without butter. No.

No, no, no. If I can't get into if I'm going somewhere and it's for an extended period of time with like multiple people, I have better believe I've planned my exit strategy. And two planes is not one of them. A connected flight does not work out for me. No, I'm not going. I always need an exit plan. I always need to know where I can go to the bathroom. The bathroom is a safety spot for me.

I do think, yeah, me and you both hate being stuck in places, which is ironic because we were stuck in a house together for a really long time. But I know like after the first week I did that, I was like, I needed to leave. Yeah. I also feel like girls who have dated horrible boyfriends, like

this is ingrained in them because i've dated guys before where like i know i shouldn't be dating this person but for whatever reason we're going on this weekend trip or like we're going somewhere i had always like i always had a planned exit strategy and it was always like well i'll just call my mom and like i'll get out of this yeah i feel like girls instinctually because of like society and like even walking down the street you have a fucking exit plan so i feel like women just like

Have that naturally Like okay If something were to happen How do I get out of here Well that's also why It's good to always Have your own money Because there's

The number one reason I feel like sometimes women stay in abusive relationships besides the fact that you're being emotionally manipulated and abused and you're scared is sometimes being like financially, I don't know what I'm going to be able to do. Dude, that's so true because the first time I ever went down to Charleston to hang out with Craig by myself, he was like, do you want me to like get your flight? And I got my own flight because I was like, no, what if in the first...

Two hours I don't fuck with this guy And I want to leave Like I'm leaving I'm changing my flight on my app And I'm leaving Fuck yeah Get those MQMs

I've always wanted to leave somewhere in the middle of the night. You know those horror movies who multiple of them start with the girl escaping in the middle of the night and you're like, oh. Yeah, like I want to escape somewhere in the middle of the night and someone wake up and just be like, she's gone. Yeah, and you'll never see me again. She's at her mom's. Wait, this is a perfect segue for we haven't talked about a dope documentary in a little and this dope documentary is everything. The Tinder swindler, have you watched it?

No, but I saw the preview for it. It's on Netflix. But this isn't the same like TikTok guy that's gone viral, right? They didn't turn that around that fast, did they? No. Are you talking about West Elm Caleb? Yeah, this isn't West Elm Caleb. Okay, but is it similar? No. Tinder Swindler. Tinder Swindler. Great name.

is incredible. Kudos, Netflix. It doesn't start slow. It just starts kind of predictable where the girl's like, I just want to find love. I'm swiping on apps. I'm not going to give away anything, but I have to... He kind of reminds me like he would be friends with Perry, and I mean that in the nicest way. Like if he wasn't a swindler. Okay. He basically is like...

They wear nice clothes. They have cool cars. They're in Mykonos one day. They're in another island the next day. He's always traveling. So the best part about... You're going to get an angry text. Perry, I'm just saying you're rich, okay? Better you than me, girl. Better you than me, girl. I'm a Perry stan. But enough about Paige's exes. The Tindler swindler is wild because he starts asking this girl for money.

Did they tell you where this is set? Like, cause I need a city to attach this to. Okay. This is Europe, bitch. Like this is a girl. She's in, she's in London, but she's, I think like from Norway. She's beautiful. And she meets this guy on Tinder and he's traveling around. He's in Berlin. He's in, you know, in London. He's in every major city, but he's traveling. Basically he's in the diamond industry.

And he has enemies. So whenever he has an issue, he's always like, my enemies are going to get me, which I think is so funny. I started doing that around the house. I'm like, guys, can you please do the dishwasher? My enemies, my enemies. So he'd be like, hey, something happened. Like I need 50 grand. And she'd be like, that's a lot of money. And he's like, my enemies are going to find me soon. I need the money. How much should I tell?

Keep going. I don't care. Okay. So fast forward this if you don't want to know a little more about it, but turns out he's using that money to party with other women who he's getting money from. So he has a full Ponzi scheme of living this fancy life. Okay. And that's just a promoter in New York City. Yeah.

Hey, bring your hot girlfriend so that I can start partying with them and forget all about you. That's just classic Tao on a Saturday night. Yeah, so he basically like in the beginning takes them on these very fancy dates, like private jets them somewhere, then kicks them out, like sends them all these nice messages. So they know like, oh, this guy's legit. He's rich. He got me on a private jet. But he paid for that private jet with the last girl's money.

And then he's always like, my card had to be canceled because my enemies are on to me. Can you send me something? He's the male version. He's the male version of the other Netflix documentary that's coming out on Friday, which I can't fucking wait to watch. Oh, my God. Anna Delvey. Yeah. OK, so this is so then he'll they'll finally be like, you need to pay me back. Like I am drowning in debt. And he'll be like, she's like, you owe me 80 grand. And he'll be like, sure. I'll pay you back.

I'm going to give you 200 grand. Here's the check. The check never goes through and he's off. And I would have a hard time. I would have a hard time if my father called me and said, I need eight. No, I wouldn't have a hard time. I would have a hard time with like, I was like you. I was like, I'm so fucking cheap. I would never send a guy this money. Never. Paige, think of the shit you've done for trash men before in your life.

Think about you meet this guy. He's everything. You've done all these great things. He talks to you every day and he's like, babe, I'm rich. I got you. My enemies are coming for me and I need fit. Like he's groomed them already. He doesn't do this the first day. Like this is like three months in. Like he does it really strategically and he's like, give me 50 grand. Take out a loan. I will pay it back because you really trust he's going to pay it back.

I got Craig a snowboard for his birthday and I'm about to literally return it right now. Wait, that's so expensive. I know. And I feel like he's swindling me. Did he tell you the kind he wanted? No, he has no idea it's happening. What if he doesn't like the kind of snowboard? They're super picky about it. I contacted someone who knows what he wanted and like did all the things. But like now I feel like I'm being hustled.

I'm literally being hustled. You're like, how did I even get the idea to buy him that? Did he play in a seed? He's subliminally messaging me. Oh, so then he would send all these girls the same video of his bodyguard getting punched and being in the ambulance and be like, my enemies found me. I need to be at the next. I need to go on a flight. So they're paying for flights for him to be with another girl.

And he's just partying in Mykonos. Again, how old, how old is this person? I'd say late twenties, early thirties, way too Metro for me. Like I would never, but the best part of this is it goes public. Finally, the girls, like if I, if they're not going to arrest him, cause the police were like, this is crazy. Um,

So she gets these journalists to write an article about him. So if anyone Googles him, which is what you do after getting someone on Tinder, they'll see that this guy's a con man. So it starts to blow up. And then the girl he's with at the time, who he was with for like 12 months, who has spent a lot of money on him, is getting on a flight. And she doesn't answer his phone and she reads through everything and she realizes like, holy fuck, this guy's a con man.

But she swindles the Tinder swindler.

This bitch and you get so hyped up. Yes, you are You can watch it or my room. Yeah, I know keep going you have to watch it So she she has like this tough attitude and she goes so I pretend that I that I don't believe any of it and I'm still here for him and I say, you know, we have to She works in fashion. She's like I'll sell your clothes like I'll sell your clothes So because he can't get any more money because all his girls dropped him so he's broke and she goes I'll find a way to sell your clothes and

she takes all his clothes i need to meet her leaves i need to meet her and then she starts selling it and he's like freaking out because she's not answering and she swindles him but the problem is is that he got arrested maybe for like a couple months and now he's just like in israel doing the same shit oh my god the audacity audacity

Audacity of some of these men. I mean, when men have that kind of power over you and they use you emotionally like that. Yeah. He fucked up a lot of women in terms of their trust and their finances. And it's intense, but you should definitely watch it. I'm trying to think if I've ever dated someone who's like asked me for. Yep. God damn it. I did it when I was young. I dated a guy who was into drugs, didn't know it. And he was like, I need two hundred dollars.

That was a lot when I was 18, but he paid me back. I dated a guy one time who could not stop gambling. And yeah, he asked me for $200. And when you're in college and your parents give you $200, that's what's the last you the fucking month. But when you love someone, you're like, I'm saving him. I'm here for you. Wow. Sorry, mom, if you're listening to this. You're like, here's my dad's credit card. Go, go, go. And the pin is...

Oh my God. And then they found out that these videos he was sending to the girls were like all filmed in the same day. So the girl knew that it wasn't a lie because she was seeing the videos that he sent to these other girls knowing like he sent the same video to me. So she knew like this guy wasn't. Okay.

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn.com slash results.

LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. You guys know that I hate leaving the house and I only grocery shop online. Thrive Market makes shopping for healthy groceries easy, stress-free, and tailored to you and your family's needs. Freestyle olives are my absolute favorite olives, and I discovered them on Thrive Market. I actually gave my friend Taylor a bag the other day because they were in my kitchen.

And I was like, if you haven't tried these, you absolutely have to. And not only do I save time shopping as a Thrive Market member, I also save money on every single grocery order. On average, I save over 30% each time. And when you join Thrive Market, you are also helping a family in need with their one-for-one membership matching program. Plus, Thrive Market now accepts Snap EBT.

So save time and money by getting it all in one place with Thrive Market. Go to thrivemarket.com slash giggly for 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's T-H-R-I-V-E market.com slash giggly. Thrivemarket.com slash giggly.

It's my favorite time of year. It's summer going into fall. It's the best fashion part of the year. It's my favorite season and sometimes shifting your summer wardrobe to fall can be a little bit of a challenge, but luckily we have Quince, which offers timeless and high quality items that I absolutely adore. And the best part about it is it's

completely on budget. They have cashmere sweaters from $50, pants for every occasion, and all of Quince's items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. And Quince only works with factories that use safe

ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes that you'll absolutely adore. I have this navy blue cashmere set from quince and I'm always using the sweater during the summer to like tie around my shoulders. So make switching seasons a breeze with quince's high quality closet essentials. Go to quince.com slash giggly for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Giggly. I don't know if you guys have noticed from my Instagram stories, but I've basically switched all my loungewear over to Skims. I was obviously obsessed with their bras and underwear, but now I really can't get enough of their soft lounge collection. I have their soft lounge tank, which is a soft lounge tank.

with their matching lounge fold over pant. I'm absolutely obsessed. Not only do I wear it inside, but I actually wear it to travel a lot too. I noticed in my drawer the other day that basically all my bras and underwears are skims, but also now all of my t-shirts and my loungewear is skims. I've pretty much cleared out all my lounge sets after I moved. I just like got rid of everything. I was like, I don't need all of these random sweatpants and sweatshirts.

and really replaced everything with Skims because I know it's always going to look good, and I know it always feels amazing. And you know how much I love laying in bed, so if I have an outfit that I can lay in bed in and also run errands in, then I'm a true fan. Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com, now available in sizes XXS to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select Podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop-down menu.

If you don't want to die of anxiety while watching this, I have a different show for everyone to watch. So I love any period pieces. I don't care what...

period it's in and let's be honest i don't really know no she just knows it's not that she got right now this month that's all we know i just know it's not 2022 and it's old-fashioned it's not euphoria it's not euphoria so i watched on hulu this show i watched it all on our tour too called the great and it's about katherine the great in russia and she was like the last ruling

like Empress of Russia. That's really good. And then there's another one that I just started. There's only two episodes. It's on HBO Max. It's called The Gilded Age. Oh, cool. So good. It's set in New York City in the late 1800s. And like,

how like what New York City looked like back then and like how it was still like very aristocratic, even though like we didn't have a king and a queen, but there was like butlers and all this stuff. Did you just notice that I used the word aristocratic? Yeah, I didn't know what you meant by it, but I was like, we're in, I'm in, it's time to go. You were like, is this Cats on Broadway? Do you like to watch those pieces too to be like in my past life, who was I in this period of time? Like, was I the butler or was I the Catherine the Great?

Okay. Speaking of Perry, this is a very Perry focused podcast. Perry gets talked about way too much on this podcast. The poor man. Has he not endured enough from me? You know. Leave Perry alone.

Like, hashtag justice for Perry. He did nothing to deserve me as an ex-girlfriend. He took me to Versailles in France. Yeah, it was actually the best fucking day because I really, really wanted to go to it. And I really wanted to do, like, a tour of, like, the grounds. And I actually find, like, the butlers and the maids' quarters, like, so much more interesting. When I tell you...

I got out of the car, stepped one tiny toe on the dirt of Versailles. I said I was a princess. I was a full fucking queen. I felt, Lynn, I feel like everyone probably feels this when they go to places like this. I've never felt that. No.

I looked at him and I was like, I need to go to a psychic medium immediately because I was royal in a past life. I know that I lived in this time period and lived as royalty. And you were fucking one of the butlers in the closet. Absolutely. Oh, no. In the pantry. No doubt about it. My vagina's tickling in this little pantry. What's happening? They're called footmen and a lady's maid. And I know for a fact that I was banging the footmen.

All the time when I was royal. I feel like a lot of celebs or royals are fucking their bodyguards because they're just like, you feel safe. You've probably spent a lot of alone time with them and you're just like, you're hot. They're big. Yeah, they're huge. I have a period piece for you that you are going to love that you have to start watching. You know I only do documentaries and Des was like, look, it's not a documentary. And I said, then why are you talking to me? And he said, it's about a serial killer. And I go, what?

I'm faintly interested and he goes but it's scripted and I go don't love that and he goes trust me on this it's called the serpent okay serpent when I'm like that doesn't sound like something my vibe and he's like please trust me what's it on it's on Netflix the serpent and it's I think say it again say it one more time the serpent say crack again it's in the 70s

And it's the most incredible real true story of it's kind of like a con man such serial killer. And the way it's played out, it's constantly moving from like four months ahead, three months backwards, four months ahead. At first, I thought that'd be confusing, but it actually makes it so much more interesting because they'll tease something crazy. Then go backwards, explain how it happened, then tease something crazier. And the serpent is...

Is the best scripted show I've seen in a long time Wow Is one season How many seasons are we talking? I don't know But the star girl is like gorgeous She's French Is there anyone famous in it? Or you don't know? No, which I love about it Okay But it's also like kind of a foreign film Like they speak English a little

And there's some subtitles. So much happening in this. Yeah. Oh, wait. You know what else I watched? Which is a documentary. Yeah. Is I Am Georgina. I want to watch it.

No, Hannah. I love her so much. She makes my world go round. I'm obsessed with her. Okay, so for people who don't know about Jordina, she is the wife of Ronaldo. Yeah, Ronaldo. They haven't gotten married yet, but she's the fiance of Cristiano Ronaldo. So what was the point of the doc? What was she trying to put people in on? She's a very private person, and it was mainly about her day-to-day and how she really is like...

this normal ass girl who now lives like a life of just being a princess, but you want her to because she fucking deserves it. Like she was like very poor growing up

She worked, how they met is she worked at Gucci in Madrid. Like she was just a sales girl and she happened to stay late one night because someone was coming in who was like buying a certain amount of things and she was helping the woman. And as she's walking out of the store, she said it was like a movie. Like she saw him, he saw her. She looked away because she was so nervous. And he said, the moment I saw her, I knew I was never going to leave her alone.

And from that day on, they just like started hanging out and he would come to her work every day and pick her up in his Bugatti and she would walk out, get in the car and they would go to his house and hang out.

And like, she's not like a normal celebrity where like, you know, she wants to be seen at like Nobu and Malibu. Like she purposely goes to places in whatever country they're living in that like are hole in the walls. Like no one knows who she is. Like she doesn't do paparazzi. She doesn't do like, and she has like such a close circle of friends that she's been friends with for like over 10 years. And those are the people that go on like her yachts with her and go on these trips with her. Like she doesn't really have like a

famous circle of friends and she all she cares about is like being a mom and being a good person she goes to like all these orphanages and like talks to the kids she's like you can't just send money and you can't just like donate toys you have to go you have to sit with these people like these kids like she's just literally the nicest human i think i've ever watched on my television screen

There's a lot of beautiful things in that because fame like does change you like it's your ego can be fed by it so much to the point that if you don't like who you are, you can tell yourself I'm not that girl anymore. I'm now someone new like I'm not that sales girl. I am now better than all you sales girls. Oh my God, not at all. But she's like stayed who she is. She even goes back to like the hotel that she used to work at

The only reason she got her job at Gucci is because she used to work in this like little town at this hotel bar. And someone who worked at Gucci noticed what a hard worker she was and was like, I think it was at Gucci. It was like, come to Madrid and work. Like you just, you could be making so many more tips if you came and worked. And she would work like all,

She had two different jobs. She'd work morning and night. She'd come home at like... She had to take a bus five hours to get to her job. Five hours. A bus? Yes. The logistics of that. Thank you. The admin on that. Like I just... I couldn't have... It's in subtitles, but like you don't even care because you love her so much. And she literally like...

The only thing she, like, says that she loves about, like, the money she has now is she just loves clothes. She's like, and I've always loved clothes. And the fact that I can buy any bag I want and walk into any store and get whatever I want is just, like. Wow. And I was like, oh. That kind of reminds me of Alexa Chung, who I love, who became, like, a fashion icon. And she's like, I'm not fashionable. I just made money. Yeah.

Like no literally made money and now I wear fancy things. I didn't like it's it's like you're not ugly. You're just poor. But yeah, it also makes me want to ask you. Do you believe in that like love at first sight scenario or is it just coincidental that he saw I believe in like lust at first sight like I believe in seeing someone and being and how many guys at the bar have you seen and been like that's my next husband?

Countless. Millions. No, but I will say, oh my God, I don't want to bring it back to Perry. The title of this is going to be like Perry Unwrapped. But when I was dating Perry and I met Craig for the first time,

It was a totally different feeling not of like, oh my God, that guy's so hot. I want to fuck that guy. It was actually a very calm feeling of being like, I know that one. I'm not even worried about what's going on in my life right now or what's going on in his. I know that one day I will be with that person. That is so and it's a very weird. Yeah. So I believe in like certain but then you can meet that person and be like, I made all of that up in my head. But

But I do believe in that first moment. I saw this clip of like Lisa Rinna. Also, are you aware of Harry Hamlin at all? Like who he was?

I think I know. I have a little bit of knowledge. He was hot when he was younger. Hot. I didn't realize that because he kind of is like skinny now and like does the whole like smart nerdy guy thing. Like when she refers to him and calls him first and last name, like I would appreciate if you started doing that to Des. Like when you refer to Des to me, I want you to just be like Des Bishop said...

I think that's it. I like that. Also, we have good boyfriends to do that because they have like one syllable. Yes. Well, Des can be Desmond, but we don't call him that. I'm going to start referring to Craig as Craig Conover. C-squared. That motherfucker. Desmond Bishop. Um,

So Lisa Rinna said that she was on a date with a guy. Harry was with his ex-wife. And they walked past each other at a restaurant. And she was like, oh my god, it's Harry Hamlin. He was like the shit at the time. And he was like, oh my god, that's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. And I think...

That's not like love at first sight, but I think if you have that initial lust reaction, it definitely helps. Like I know I saw Des do stand up six years ago and he had no idea who I was. And I go, that man on stage, I want to fuck. Is that not crazy? And then he saw me in an Insta story, in Nikki Glaser's Insta story, and added me because he thought I was pretty. It's the universe. And on that Insta story, I probably thought I looked ugly. Yeah. I was just myself. Yeah.

I feel like sometimes the universe, like they give you things at the right timing, but I also feel like the universe fucks with you a little because they're like, hey, I just want to like give you a little glimpse because like that's who you actually end up with. But not right now. Like we have other things to do until you get there. But here's a preview. Do you know how they say like God laughs at your plans? What I realized about the universe is they're so much more creative than we are. Like, for example, when I'm planning revenge on people, the universe is like that's a

Give me a little more time and it's going to be so much worse than you could ever imagine. If ever something happened and you're like, I could have never. Like even our careers. I was just going to say that. Like if you were planning like, oh, I want to be an e-correspondent. The universe is like, I hear you. Give me some time and it's going to be way more fun. I'm going to put you on stage and you're the next Justin Bieber. Yeah.

But also that's why your plans could be limiting. Like even with dudes, like I, I never imagined that I would be with a guy like Des, but the universe can be like,

sometimes wait a little bit longer yeah trust that the universe has something more interesting for you absolutely and that's why like when and like we've all done it I've done it a thousand times I've done it literally with every boyfriend I've ever had like forcing it to try and make it work because you're like no like this is supposed to be it like if you just let go even like an ounce the universe is like thank you now like

Take some time and I'm going to really send you someone who's so much better than this fucking person. Yeah. So it really you just have to like chill out. That was our mental health moment. It sure was a health moment. I felt that shit. Let's do a little front page news. Yes. Oh, wait, there's so much going on. I apologize. It took so long page. Please. First of all, Kylie Jenner had her baby. And I'm sorry. Do you think she planned to have it on to to her?

22 because how did that astrologically it's very powerful it means like partnerships love whatever good for her wasn't her um stormy the day before his birthday maybe i might have made that no i feel like what happened no it was the thing i'm thinking of is remember she announced her pregnancy on the super bowl and everyone was like how did chris kardashian literally just overtake the number one thing in america um

But anyway, we don't know the name yet, but she did have a boy. I... Not even what I'm here to talk about. Have you seen Kanye West posting about Kim Kardashian? Well, I forwarded to you, like, right when it was happening. I was like...

We're unraveling. It's happening. We're unraveling. You can feel because he's only doing capital letters. So he's yelling from the rooftops, his captions. It was the all caps for me. I couldn't even get through reading it because I was like, the fact that this is in all caps is making me anxious. And I also guys there. Oh, I want to tell you, I posted on Giggly Squad just now how Kanye like had a weird rap in 2010 for all of the lights.

where he manifested what's kind of happening. Remember, he goes, restraining order. Can't see my daughter. I'm rapping right now. Her mother, brother, grandmother hate me in that order. Do you remember that? Yes. I mean, one of the greatest lyrics of all time. That was in 2010. And like he was him and Kim were great. Might be a hot take. But I actually do believe that Kanye is a genius in his own fucked up way.

Well, yeah, he's definitely a creative genius. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks...

And it seems like you don't keep track from the ones from last year, so you have to rebuy. But don't stress about the cost. Use Ibotta and get cash back on all of your purchases when you stock up on all of your summer essentials. You can save on over 2,400 brands and shop at over 1,000 retailers, including your favorite grocery stores, Lowe's, Macy's, Sephora, Best Buy, and more.

The average Ibotta user earns $256 per year. That could cover the cost of an entire shopping trip. Right now, Ibotta is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using code GIGGLY when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play Store and download free Ibotta app to start earning cash back and use code GIGGLY. That's I-B-O-T-T-A in the Google Play or App Store and use code GIGGLY.

Giggling in bed brought to you by Mattress Firm. Sometimes sleeping next to your boyfriend or girlfriend is the most amazing experience ever. It's so lovely to watch them be so peaceful, except when they're snoring so loud. And I think to myself, how are you even sleeping because you're ruining my day?

And then I think to myself, obviously you're on a mattress firm mattress, which can truly make anyone sleep like an actual baby. Mattress firm offers a 120 night sleep trial. So you can rest easy with mattress firm for 120 nights. And if you don't love it, you can get your money back.

I upgraded to a Mattress Firm mattress this year and truly my sleep has never been better. I've created an entire sanctuary right in my bed and everyone should be sleeping like me and Craig who snores. So text Giggly Squad to 766693 for an extra 20% off your next purchase at Mattress Firm. Exclusions apply. Get matched at Mattress Firm's best sale of the year, the Labor Day sale and sleep at night.

There are 365 days a year which means there are 365 days where you might need to buy someone a birthday present. I absolutely love giving the perfect gift to the perfect person. So why not simplify the process with Aura Digital Picture Frame? Ranked the number one digital picture frame by Wirecutter, Aura frames are easy to set up, update and enjoy.

You can even preload with photos and gift messages. So whether you're giving the frame to your best friend, your dad, or your Aunt Susan, you can be sure your gift is personalized just for them. I have gifted Aura Frames actually to Craig's family before because it truly is the perfect gift. And to always be like uploading, changing pictures, it's like a new picture frame every day. Every Aura Frame comes with unlimited storage so you can preload the frame with as many photos as you want.

All you need is the Aura app and a Wi-Fi connection. Right now, Aura is having their very first friends and family sale, and we've got an exclusive offer just for gigglers. For a limited time only, you can get $35 off their best-selling frame by visiting auraframes.com and using promo code GIGGLY at checkout. That's A-U-R-A frames dot com, promo code GIGGLY. This is the best offer of the season, so don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply.

I just think it's so interesting because you know how they always say like celebrities, they're just like us. They use toilet paper and shit. Like not and shit. That just happened to come out like that. Anyhow, Kim is dealing with a boyfriend that we've all dealt with before where it's the kind that like trashes you to all your friends or like tries to like, you know, muddle your...

muddy your name not metal this isn't a frozen drink um like muddy your name and like theirs is just on such a bigger fucking scale he's like cringe he's so jealous it's almost too intimate where you're like okay this is so much that i don't want to know or need to know you're like i actually shouldn't be reading this because i feel like i'm like in their private life and i'm uncomfortable but kim spoke up kim had like a full a queen

a queen oh paragraph i mean when he started out saying she was pissed at the first sentence as was i when he said he said this is my first divorce so he was like i apologize this is my first divorce so i don't know how this goes insinuating that like she's been divorced three times like this is her third

and then i loved when she said as like the primary caregiver like she has the kids all day yeah she has nannies and such and he's mad north is on tiktok she kim i think is actually allowing north to be somewhat normal everyone is on tiktok and she's monitoring it because north is a young girl but also this is something you two need to figure out as parents privately like i don't and

And also, let's be honest. All of this like crazy things that he's doing in the press is not ultimately hurting Kim. It's ultimately going to hurt your relationship with your children when they get in high school and they read what really happened. They're going to hate you. They're going to absolutely hate you. What would you be doing if you were Julia Fox right now?

taking the clothes and keeping my mouth shut doing exactly what she's doing just being like take my picture while i eat this pasta we got like all her friends birkins and then people were like me showing up to a new relationship with all my baggage why aren't our significant others getting each other why aren't they getting us birkins i'm mad it does i'm mad at craig

I'm about to send him a snarky ass text. So interesting that you haven't bought me a Birkin yet because it was Paige's birthday a couple of months ago. Anyone who's going through an abusive relationship or a crazy relationship right now or just think their dating is horrible. Kim Kardashian's going through it. Kim Kardashian's rich, famous, beautiful. It doesn't matter who you are. Beyonce was cheated on. Relationships are hard. OK, this is the thing with fame.

For all the light, there's extreme light. There's extreme darkness. Yeah.

oh my god yes when you get famous you get some real pluses which means it has to be balanced out by real minuses that's just how life works so checks and balances yeah so for people who are like not in the public eye you're not dealing with the extent of darkness or the extent of lightness but it might be fucking nice just to not have to worry about 40 million people seeing what your ex thinks about you could you imagine your phone

Could you imagine? I don't want to call him a narcissist because I don't know him personally, but the behavior is classic narcissist where all you do is attack them, try to make the victim's name... Like their image bad. Like people shouldn't like this person for X, Y, and Z. I heard a line, and I think it's in a country music song, and you know I'm not good at quoting. I eat my tinks thing. So I think it was a country music song, and I...

It's so good when people are talking shit about you. Like rather than trying to silence people who just talk shit about you, there was a line that said, if you stop telling lies about me, I won't tell the truth about you. Well, this is the thing that I've experienced. People will constantly lie about you to get ahead of them being scared that you're going to tell the truth about them. Yes, honey. Yes, yes.

Like I know the truth about people and they will slam my name so that all everything that comes out of my mouth is crazy. Right. Because they know that I know, you know? Because I know. Because you know that I know that you know I know. And we all know. I'm going to tell you then the universe comes and the universe will be like, don't worry.

Everyone will know. Yeah, we got your back. The universe will be like, the truth will prevail. And for Kim being such a calm, cool, and collected person, I think in her real life, I think she's like that as well. Honestly, I think it's because she doesn't drink. That definitely helps her mental health, her not drinking. She doesn't drink. She's always said she's never done drugs. I think that is a really... As I get older and older, I think about not...

I think there will be a moment in my life that I don't drink. And not because I feel like I have a problem with drinking. I just, as I get older, feel so much better when I'm not drunk or when I'm not hungover. How did we even get on this? You're drinking. Yeah.

No, well, how Kim has been able to just survive all this crazy stuff. But I do also have to say about Kanye, you ever end a relationship and see how they act? And you see how they act and you go, oh, I totally made the right decision. Because, you know, guys are a certain way. And the second they lose control over you, they're fucking like I've had exes do some crazy shit that I'm like, how did I ever trust you with my heart?

Ever. I think we should end the podcast on this story because I have an amazing story to the finale. Let's fucking wrap this up. I was dating a guy and I was in my 20s. Just kidding. No, Perry would never do this. I was dating a guy in my 20s.

We were together for kind of a while and we got into this crazy huge fight one night. And for Valentine's Day, oh, how like good timing for Valentine's Day, I had gotten him a framed picture of him and I from like a Christmas or so. I don't know. We were dressed up, whatever. And it was hanging on his wall in his bedroom in his apartment. We got into a huge fight one night, like maybe a month after Valentine's Day. He Instagram storied.

Him taking the picture off the wall, walking out of his apartment because in New York City you throw your trash in a room down the hall. Walking to the trash room, throwing the picture in the trash and the caption of the Instagram story said, taking out the trash. What was the photo of? It was a photo of him and I.

And now I was not on Summer House yet. I had zero followers. Instagram was honestly still like pretty new. People still use weird filters. And yeah, there's still dog ears on filters. Yeah.

Was so mortified That all 200 of his Instagram followers were going to see this I texted every single one of his friends Like you gotta tell him to take this down Like I'm I thought my life was over Then I joined reality TV And the universe was like just wait For all the women out there too Whenever a man It's been romantic men and non-romantic men Who I've had falling outs with They always come for my career

They always try to hurt my career. And it's because that's where there's a lot of male gatekeepers that they can say, Hey, kick her off this. Don't let her do that. And girls...

We have to support each other. The universe will serve that revenge, hot or cold, however you prefer it. I prefer it hot. Hot, microwaved, who cares? Yeah. Throw that thing in the air fryer. Everyone has dealt with guys trying to, in the public eye, no matter how big, make them look like they're the crazy ones or like they're the bitchy ones. Yeah. And they did something wrong. And...

Don't feed into their mess. You focus on you, boo. Because he's busy talking about you while you're doing your thing. Oh my God. I'm about to like fucking run a marathon. Renee Brown over here. Oh my God. But we have been getting so many nice messages of gigglers being like, I broke up with my boyfriend because of you. And I'm like, yes, powerful.

I'm like double check make sure you want to do it not just me going on rants but we love the gigglers so much and meeting you guys over this last tour was everything New York City is going to be announced soon yeah people were like are you not doing New York we're like bitch so we love you guys and we'll talk to you later thanks for giggling with us