Giggling about ugly men, lucky girl syndrome, and hair removal
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What is up, my grinning gigglers? Grinning or granny? Grinning, like smiling. Got it, got it. I don't know. Grinning sounds creepy, though. Like, no one's grinned and you've been like... It sounds like, yeah, something like a villain does. Yeah, it's like... I'm very confused about all the, like, hello darling, whatever it's called, drama. Can we just get into it?

First of all, initial thoughts just like on Olivia Wilde. Okay, I went to an event once. I think I was with you. Oh yeah, you were. She directed something and I was taken aback by like how smart she was and put together she was. Well, she's like... Powerful. Yeah, she's very captivating like in person. Like she's so pretty obviously, but she's very like...

Like she holds her shoulders back. You know, like that's how I describe her. Yeah, like she looks like a CEO of her life. Yeah. Like she looks like she has an organized kitchen. Yes, she has a matcha station. She has a matcha station. She's a full matcha station with like the brush. Does anyone know what the brush is for? Okay.

It's like a mmm. No. Gets a frothy. I mean, grow up. The brush is unnecessary. Use a fork. I'm waiting for Dunkin' Donuts to be delivered to my apartment that is next door from my apartment. She does not eat Dunkin'. Yeah, we're far from a matcha station over here. She also does not have just a random drawer in our house of junk. She doesn't have a junk drawer. No. No.

And she doesn't, like, have old mascara lying around. She throws it away after the right amount of months. Her socks are matched to the appropriate sock in the drawer. There's no loose socks. She doesn't have a chair in her room with the, like, clothes that aren't dirty but aren't clean. They're, like, in the middle. No, no, no, no. The chair is so expensive that, like, she's only sat in it twice. Yeah.

Also, none of her brushes have like a layer of hair on them. Oh, God, no. No, no, no. I see her strictly as like a comb girl. Oh, yeah. Or she has someone brush her hair for her. Or she just wakes up and she never even has a knot in her hair. No, never. She also, I feel like she mists. Like she does mist spray on her face. Yes, yeah. At any moment, she could be like, do you need a mist spray? That's Olivia Wilde.

Okay. I've always liked... I was going to go as long as you wanted to go. I was running out. She doesn't water her own plants, but has a stunning garden. She takes her shoes off in her house. She doesn't let you ever sit anywhere with your subway clothes. I like her. I do, and I feel like... Contrary to what we've just been saying the past four minutes, we like her, but...

I feel like women always I liked her because I feel like she got Like a lot of hate for leaving Jason Sudeikis Which like we don't know What happened in their relationship Like so if someone's unhappy and they want to leave Like leave and I feel like

People were like, she has two kids. And like whenever she's with Harry, they're like, but where are your kids? And it's like, okay, well, they also have a dad. So like I always felt bad for her with that. Like she just because she's a woman, she was like getting hate solely for like living her life. So I was always on her side for that. But unpopular opinion, I don't want to have sex with Harry Styles. Oh my God, neither do I. I just feel like...

I feel like he dresses better than me. And I just, I don't know. He doesn't do it for me. Like we like a post Malone, Jack Harlow. He always was too cute for me. I think he's too cute. Pretty. Yeah. And I want a guy who makes me feel small. Yeah. And I don't want, not mentally, just physically. I'm like,

I don't want a guy who takes like crazy fashion risks. You know, like contrary to what I say, like I want Craig wearing flip flops to be like the craziest thing he does. True. Yeah. Like I made Des wear like a white button down and it was like a new thing for him. Yeah. Like and like God forbid it's linen. It's they're like, oh my God, this is so. But you know what I did low key think was hot?

Timothee Chalamet just doing wild shit. He's different. I would have sex with Timothee Chalamet. Yeah.

Timothy Chevrolet. Timothy Chevrolet, like with his just adorable red outfit, cow neck top. Talk about manifestation. I know a girl who went to high school with Timothy Chalamet. I want to say he was like two years older than her, not in the same grade. They went to that... LaGuardia, right next door to where I went to school. Where Lady Gaga went. She said...

In high school, he was always like, I'm going to be famous. And one day she was sitting with, like, all of her friends, and him and his friend came up to her and was like, will you come to Times Square with us and pretend that, like, Timothy is – Timmy, I think he went by – is famous and, like, we're going to take pictures of you, like, running up to him, like, asking to take pictures with him. And her and her friends were like, no. Like –

She was like, and then he literally blew the fuck up. And I was like, wow. It's crazy because the school LaGuardia is where all the most talented kids go. Yeah. And it's a public school in New York City. But like to get in is like the public Juilliard kind of like you. You try to act. You try to dance. You try to sing. And didn't Nicki Minaj go there, too? I think she did. Yeah.

That school's full of, like, potential stars, so it's crazy that they all were, like... I think Nicki Minaj, like, has beef with that school, though. But anyway, can you make a fucking Venn diagram of what's going on with Olivia Wilde? So I guess Olivia Wilde and Florence Pugh, which, like...

I'm not a huge fan of her last name, but a big fan of her. I watched her in Little Women. I thought she was just like so fucking good. Yeah. I guess they have beef, but nobody says like what the beef is. But Shia LaBeouf was supposed to be the lead. And then it became Harry Styles. I...

I would classify myself as a hater in terms of celebrities who are famous singers and then become try to become like A-list actors. I think it absolutely can be done. But I think they almost get like a pass. Like the most unpopular opinion I've ever had in my entire life. A Star is Born. I thought was trash. I knew you hated that movie. I knew you were going to say that.

I do have to say I love that movie, but there were moments where Lady Gaga's face was supposed to move and it didn't. I just didn't, I didn't believe it. Like, and then with all the PR of like, are they actually fucking? Like, it was too much for me. And I needed to step away. I also feel like there should have been a warning sign at some point because I thought it was a feel good movie. I thought a star was being born. And then my whole year was ruined.

Well, it was a remake. I know. My mom was like, you didn't know Uncle. I wasn't alive in the 80s, Mom. Right. I didn't know either. I thought a star was going to be born. I remember watching it and one of my many talents is that I can predict the end of movies. And so I'm sitting there watching it and I was like, oh, so he's going to kill himself now? And everyone was like, what? And I was like, he's literally going to go...

And off himself, like he can't. Have you not been watching the movie? And everyone was like so mad at me. And I was just like, it was a remake. Like, what are you talking about? So anyway, a lot of problems. That reminds me of the time I was with my ex-boyfriend at a beautiful Broadway play.

And I told you he like halfway through was like, oh no, the guy is gonna commit suicide. And I was like, what? And he's like, you can tell like all the signs. And then the whole rest of the play, I was so upset. And then the guy never died. And I was like, you fucking ruined the night for me. You stupid asshole.

Don't project your issues onto that guy in the play. Sorry, I think that the biggest lead in that story is that you and your ex-boyfriend went to like a Broadway show. It was like he was in entertainment and his friend was like in the show or some shit. What show? Couldn't tell you. Yeah. Couldn't tell you.

Hot girls don't remember things. Remember, that's our motto. Craig hasn't bullied me into going to any Broadway shows recently. Oh, my God. Which I'm thankful for. I feel like for you guys, you're like, if you want to show emotion, talk to Austin. No, I actually felt so bad because the other day, Craig was like, you're just really tough on me. And, like, I just, I really noticed that you...

you don't have a heart. And like, that's fine. Like he was trying to be compassionate, even like being like, you have no feelings. And I was like, I just don't care about like things that you care about. And he was like, life? Like death? Like what? I was like, whatever. Whatever.

You're like, call your mom. Yeah. I was like, I don't have time for that. But Paige, there's like more to the story in terms of the drama of like how they made it. Like Shia got fired because of the FKA twigs accusations against him. Right. Right. But and Olivia Wilde like leaned into that. But then there was evidence of her on a phone call, like begging him to come back, which made it seem like he was.

had beef with Florence or something, or Florence was not comfortable working with him. Am I making this up? No, you're not. And then messages came out where he said something to Florence and Florence was like, wait, what? Like, no, I'm like fine with you. I think Florence had...

I think Florence is a legitimate actor, like a method. I mean, she's not a method actor, but that's what I think of her as. I think of her really loving this craft. And I think she had certain things that she was like, I don't think this makes sense. And I think this should be changed. And I think Olivia was just like,

Like, fuck off. Like, you're the actress. I'm the director. Oh, yeah, because they had tension because she basically said there was too many sex scenes. Yeah, she was like, the whole movie is, like, based around these two sex scenes and I just think it's weird or, like, whatever. It's also acting is so weird, like, envisioning the guy you're with, like, hooking up with another hot actor. And it's not like people haven't left their significant others for actors yet.

on set it's like literally a tale as old as hollywood i mean could you imagine i think about this an odd amount like jennifer aniston just like watching her husband marry angelina jolie jennifer aniston had to wait a long time for her karma to come back true but it came back it came back

It fucking came back. People, you just got to wait it out. You have to wait it out. There was a tweet saying like, we need Andy Cohen to host this movie's reunion. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, great publicity. It is. Well, that's the thing. How much do you think it is just PR? And then now everyone's stressed out about Harry possibly spitting on Chris Pines. I watched the video seven times. I was like, what are people saying? Nothing came out of his mouth.

Okay, also, were you sexually attracted to Chris Pine in that? Me too. Yes. I didn't even know what you were going to say. Just yes. Yes. People were like, stop trying to be Brad Pitt. And I was like, every man should strive to be Brad Pitt. Also, Chris Pines is a hottie in himself. For sure. Also, oh my God, there's so much going on. Gigi Hadid was seen with Leonardo.

My mom texted me a couple days ago and she goes, hey, just want to let you know Leonardo DiCaprio is single. Just saying.

A nice Italian boy. I was like, where am I happening upon Leonardo DiCaprio, mom? She's like, I love Craig, but he doesn't know anything about Italian food. And the whole thing about only eating bread in Europe, I can't do it anymore. I can't. I mean, he's cute. He's tall. He does well. She's like, really? I've always pictured you with him. I was like, really? Not what you said when Prince Harry got married. You literally almost kicked me out of the family. You know what? I could see you both with Prince Harry and with Leonardo DiCaprio.

almost for leonardo because this is so bad craig i love you i see you with an ugly man right now i see you with a ugly hold on do you think leonardo dicaprio is an ugly man i don't think he's like craig hot very interesting you know that i do love a dad bod you love it i think leonardo dicaprio is like the hottest you love a troll you love a literal troll troll love a troll i like ugly men

I really do. I really am attracted to ugly men. But would you say or you're more into their personalities or you're actually attracted to ugly men? I think it's like a deep rooted where like I want. You want to be beauty and better. Yeah. Like where I'm like, oh, my God. Like we don't match. But like this is love. You want to wake up in the morning and be like, oh, and then be like, yeah, I'm scared.

Leonardo DiCaprio, yes. Spotted out with Gigi. I kind of, I don't hate it. It's just exhausting. I want to know what Leonardo DiCaprio's like real personality is like. Because like it takes a certain kind of person to only date models.

Because, like, obviously, girls in their early 20s are attractive. No one's, like, arguing with that. Right. But there's a whole joke, yeah, whenever they turn 25, he's out. But also, like, maybe he just starts dating them young, and then after three years, they are sick of each other. And it just keeps having to be when she's 25. Well, I feel like he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. So he dates girls that, like, are most likely not trying to get married yet.

anytime soon either. Yeah. But think about like your mental capacity from 22 to 25. No, like and not even like saying that in a mean way. Like what is the conversation based around? Like our significant others are our accessory. Enters does. How awkward. They're our accessory. So like they see it as they're like, you know, they're going around town.

I would argue to say, and not just because you're my best friend and I have respect for you and I have respect for myself, that we make our significant others so much better. They actually should pay us.

Like Craig will run certain business things by me and I'll be like, are you a dingbat? Listen to me. This is what we're doing. And like so and you can't you can't just get that knowledge anywhere. If you're dating a 22 year old, they're like, I don't know. Like maybe.

But like we have to give thoughtful answers to questions. Well, that's why there is like definitely a power dynamic when a girl is like 22. For sure. And a guy is like 42. Because when I'm 22, I will listen to anyone. I would get kidnapped so easily. For sure. Literally a guy stops in a van and he'll be like, I have a Netflix documentary in here. Do you want to watch it with me? I'd be like, I'm sorry.

You're like, I was going home to my couch, but like you have a couch in there. Done. Drive me home. You saw Emrata's TikTok? I love. Okay. There is such a discrepancy between. Remember when we were younger or like not even younger. Like I'm going to say like five years ago. If you broke up with someone, everyone knew it because you'd put an emotional quote on your Instagram story. Or you had to change your Facebook status.

Okay, prior to that, you had to change your Facebook status. Prior to that, your away message had song lyrics in it. Today's age is you make a petty TikTok. The prior ones, I never really partook in. Did I change my Facebook status in like college? For sure. But...

In today's day and age, I am here for a fucking petty TikTok. Sometimes I scroll and I'm like, wow, if I ever break up with Craig, imagine if I did that TikTok. Like, it's just something in my brain that I'm like, I'm so here for it. So this hilarious TikTok basically said when he thinks he scored a 10 because he's with you, but you really just like ugly guys. Oh, wow.

She really is so fucking pretty. Like, it's not human the way she looks. Really, her body does look like an alien. No one can have that long of a torso. Speaking of how people look, did you see Kim's new paper mag or interview mag? Don't even say it. I have to. Don't even say it. Bleach eyebrows. You also sent me a TikTok of some random ass girl shaving her head. You watched it? Yeah. Yeah.

She was gorgeous. I was like, this bitch is literally trying to subliminal message me and only send me like girls with shaved heads. I do realize I'm a problematic friend sometimes because I like to live vicariously through my friends and I'm an enabler. Like if they want to do something fun that I know I would never do, I'm like, absolutely. I'll be a part of this with you. Like if my friend literally called and was like, should I get a face tattoo? I would be like,

Why not? You only live once. Our Gen Z correspondent even texted me and was like, not going to lie, you would look sick with a bleached eyebrow. I was like, you're fired. I got her to text you that. No, did you seriously? I thought she was literally just trying to be friends. And I was like, oh my God, she's texting me. For a Giggly Squad show, I think I'm going to do, I will do it for one Giggly Squad live this weekend.

This month, but I think I'm going to do it with like how people are doing it with like concealer. Yes, Vegas. And we're just maybe, no, Jack Harlow is going to be there. You want to really sabotage me? Maybe I'll do it for one of our New York City ones and I'll just go through the whole show with bleached eyebrows and we'll like feel it out.

That actually nailed it. Why you're not attracted to Harry Styles, but you are attracted to Jack Harlow. It's like two types of girls. You can't be attracted to both. You can't. Because Jack Harlow is like, is ugly hot.

He's ugly hot, but also take away each of their fame because I would say Harry Styles is way more famous than Jack Harlow. So take away like their fame and just have them standing next to each other and they both have to like – this is what I'm picturing in my head. They both have to walk toward you and –

The immediate swagger, I say, is going to Jack Harlow. However, would you like Jack Harlow if he wasn't a successful rapper? No. He'd be like, security! I'd be like, this guy keeps talking to me at the bar. Like, leave. No. I have a whole bit about that with serial killers and stand-up comedians. How if they both weren't successful in their art, they're just ugly. No.

serial killers like ted bundy if he wasn't a serial killer no one would be talking about how hot he is right totally if that man bought you a green tea shot you'd go hide in the bathroom but like just thinking about ted bundy being successful in his art made me uneasy made me queasy um can we talk about my bestie for a second

Yes. So Haley's... It's crazy. She didn't text me about this to warn me, but I'm assuming she just was super busy. She just unveiled chocolate glazed donut nails. Yeah. Which I'm into, but I'm her friend. I'm not.

Okay, I know that you evolve and you change and you grow. So I'm going to wait a month because you're going to be sitting here with chocolate glazed fingernails. Here's the thing on why. I think they look very old lady-ish in the brown color. But that's kind of my aesthetic. I think it looks like iced coffee macchiato, which is very millennial Gen Z.

I think because you've cursed me with like my short nail summer, it's now going into short nail fall. So we're so excited to be here. My two colors for the fall are going to be a dark green. Oh. But not a dark green where you could mistake it for black. Okay. It's going to be more of a hunter green or gray. Okay.

Oh, I do like gray. So you'll only catch me with those two. I think gray is really cool. So you're not doing slut red. I'm I'm never really a huge red person. Once in a while I'll bust it out. But I think I'm done with the like, oh, get multiple coats and then put the shiny coat over it. And then the sparkly one. Like I can't sit there for that long. You're so right. It really is. I do want to do like silver.

Like a metallic. Yeah. But they don't have silver and gel sometimes. Well, the normal like nail polish, it's like a silvery, like chromey. The girls that get like fake nails that have like the legit like metallic nails, like they look plastic. Like those are sick. Yeah. Yeah.

You can get a stick on, a press on. Yeah, because we have to get our nails on point. Speaking of, we have our first three New York City live shows. We added a third one because there's a couple tickets left. So go to Giggly Squad Instagram for that. Also, we're going to the US Open tonight. I know. I'm so excited. Do you have your outfit yet? No, no. Because it's kind of a fashion scene. I know. We're sitting...

In the Heineken box where like the camera pans. The content that will come of this...

Go Badgers is all I'm saying. Wait, Craig said something the other day and he said like, yeah, like Wisconsin. And I just said, go Badgers. And he goes, what did you just say? You're like, sorry, I know my mascots. I was like, what? You said Wisconsin. I said, go Badgers. Also, I kind of have beef with Young Gravy right now. Why? Does Young Gravy know about it? Young Gravy is a Wisconsin alum.

And he went back and like did all this shit at Madison. And I was like, wait, but I have a show coming up in Madison and people were supposed to be excited for me to come back. Wait, what? How old is it? Like there was no where you weren't in college together. I feel like we might have overlapped for a year or I missed him by a year. He's like 26. I'm 31. I think I just missed him. But like, yeah, he's a badger. That's crazy. Yeah. That means he's a good person deep down.

Because badgers are good people. What do you think about all that? I mean, I know we talked about it last time, but like I just saw the mom on like another, she's going on like podcast interviews now and I don't, I'm not. Well, Addison unfollowed her. Who did? Addison unfollowed her mom on Instagram. Imagine unfollowing my mom on Instagram. If we unfollowed our moms on Instagram, they would show up at our door. No, they wouldn't even know.

They would have no idea. They would not ever know. They'd be like, okay. Like, and we'd have to tell them I unfollowed you. They'd be like, okay. They'd be like, I'll take you right out of this world. I put you in it. I didn't listen to any of the podcasts, but she kept being on my For You page, like doing stupid TikToks and like not even doing, like not doing the sound correctly. So I immediately had to scroll. But I just like, I'm not, I'm not here for it.

Have you heard about the millennial pause? Vaguely. What is that? It's when millennials start a video and they pause for a second to make sure it's recording. And I guess apparently Gen Z's don't pause because they grew up on iPads.

There's like a list of things that millennia... They said... Okay, what I read in the New York Times, what I saw on TikTok was that we are the first generation to age out of the internet that we basically built. Yeah.

Like we at one time were the only generation that knew what was going on on the Internet. And now we're slowly aging out because Gen Z is now like taking over and they think that like we're old. And they're also doing the same shit like they're using like the AIM aesthetic. A-I-M like. Yeah. And they're yeah the whole Y2K we built. Yeah.

And that there's certain things that we do on the internet that Gen Z just doesn't do. So they can immediately pick out a millennial. And we're on the internet with them. So it's like so easy. I'm feeling bullied.

I'm feeling super attacked. And this girl that was making the TikTok was a millennial. And she was saying, we as millennials have a choice to disregard like what we knew and go full Gen Z or dare I say lean in and like continue to be millennials in a Gen Z internet world. Like,

Okay, another thing that millennials do, which I literally just did it, is like when you're taking an Instagram story and you zoom in. Yeah. Like, I guess that's super millennial. Like Gen Z's do not do that. But sometimes it's funny to zoom in at a certain point. Right. And I was like, okay, so Gen Z's don't know comedy? Comedy. It's called timing. Or you could be like me and just try your hardest to make Gen Z's like you.

And if they don't get really upset. Yeah. Speaking of being upset, did you see that I cried on my Insta story for the first time and we told each other we'd never cry on Insta stories? No, I did not see you cry. Good. Thank God I didn't see it. Well, thanks for being for me for me when I'm down. Thanks for always being there to catch me when I fall. I watched Serena's last match and I was like, cool with it. I was fine. Oh, yeah. And then like the speech started and she was like, thank you, dad. Yeah.

I just start crying and I'm so bad with crying. Like I hate it. I immediately try to not cry. So your first thought was let me record that? Well, what is yours when you cry? To go in the mirror and stare at myself and cry. You have to go in the mirror.

But also this is where like I feel like I did my best. I did my best. I did my best. So then I like had to let people know like, oh, my God, I am so human and relatable and full of emotion. And I feel for another strong woman. So I posted like, oh, my God, I'm crying. Serena, I love you. I didn't talk. I'm not a monster. I just took a photo. But then I kept trying to take like another photo and I realized she's gorgeous.

She's sparkling gorgeous when she cries. What part of your face were you most attracted to while you were crying? Like just everything. Just everything about her. Like your cheekbones felt like lost. My cheekbones were glistening. Like guys, fuck highlighter. Stop spending $50 at Sephora. Just cry a little.

My lips. Yes. Stunning, gorgeous, iconic when I cry. Why are your, like, I don't, everything was like gorgeous. And I took a selfie and I was like, she's gorgeous. And everyone agreed with me. They were like, no, you are gorgeous. So now I have to cry before events. Okay. Well, I will be able to cry super easily the next couple of days because all my DMs are about my orbital bone, first of all.

People are like, oh, my God, not to be mean. But like, I totally noticed that. And I was like, that's mean. Some girl sent me. Some girl sent me this. Okay, it's called Upneek. U-P-N-E-E-Q. And it's basically eye drops to lift your, like, eyelid. She was like, hey, I use these because I have the same problem. Paige, I think if both of your eyes were perfectly open,

symmetrical it would make you just like unattainable yeah it'd be unattainable beauty that is unhealthy i'd probably be dating leonardo dicaprio though yeah but he would dump he would dump you before you even before it even started yeah you'd have to do a time machine or something they say the key to happiness is to live each day like it's your last and if that's the case today is an amazing day to get life insurance through ethos

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash Giggly. Oh, I have a beauty question for you, though, that I've been meaning to ask because I went to get a facial the other day and the lady, she was this Russian lady, and she was like, you have beard.

it was like when she goes do you do laser electrolysis something and i was like oh i can't do laser because like the sun right now and she was like telling about electrolysis which sounds like a torture chamber so what do you do tweeze i tweeze but it's it's a nightmare and i'm obviously not consistent with it as with anything else in my life wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait you're not getting laser on your face why

Because they say you shouldn't get laser when you have sun on your face. Okay. But my question, then I started thinking how like you always joke that you're a seal from the eyebrows down. Eyebrows down. Can you explain to the gigglers what hair removal processes you've done for your body and what's worked and what didn't work? Okay. So when laser hair removal first came out, I was a...

guinea pig i was like no literally literally i was like mom find a hairy italian girl throw her in the lab immediately like i started getting hair laser hair removal and i was only like a sophomore in high school what yeah and it was like the technology was not even half of what the first place i ever got it done was under my arms because like

My underarms were so bad that I would wait to get them waxed for like a prom. And even if I got them waxed, like you could still see like the little dots of like the hair follicles. And it was just like uncomfortable. I would always be I'd have to shave all the time. Like I couldn't I couldn't put my arm down because of the tuft of hair. No, I literally would never raise my arms up in the air because I was like, I can't like I literally can't.

So that's the first place I ever got it done. And then I got it done on my bikini line was the second because I like hated shaving that. And then I did my face and the face takes so much longer than other places. Well, they also say like, oh, you can get this done in seven sessions. I've literally done 20 sessions in like each part of my body. I was about to ask.

That's like such a fucking lie, I think. So when I do my I still do my face because I still will have like some spots. So in between laser hair removal on my face, I have to shave it. Oh, yeah. Because if you tweeze, then it ruins the whole process. Yeah, you're not supposed to tweeze. Do you ever have to do your bikini or your armpits again?

So my armpits definitely grew back a little, but it's so fine that like I don't care about it. I'm like, whatever. I can shave that. My bikini, not so much. And then I, but I still haven't done my legs. I was about to say, have you thought of doing your legs? Because it's so long. It's just so long. When you get your bikini area done, they're not getting your like thigh. And my thigh is a mess.

Behind my... No, yeah. Your thighs are... Yeah. Yeah, no, I've seen them. Fun fact for gigglers, the front of my thighs, I don't shave, so the hairs are actually blonde. Is it a fun fact or is it traumatic for the gigglers? Yeah.

Hannah's literally never taken a razor blade in, I mean, the years that I've known her. We're going on, what, six years of being friends? Never taken a razor blade to the back of her thighs. If she can't see it, it's a non-issue. That's my rule. But every now and then, I'll find a hair just, like, playing around, and it'll be, like, two inches, and I'm like, oh, no one's going to tell me I have two-inch hairs on the back of my knee. I mean, that's got to be a full couple months. Yeah.

That's a couple months of missing that same exact tear. It's just so hard to shave and not slice your leg open. Like whenever I slice my leg, I'm just like, this wasn't worth it to lose all this blood. You say leg like my mom. So that's triggering. Second of all, what are you talking about? Every time you shave, you cut yourself?

Well, I also rush. Like, I'm like, I don't have time for this. And it is like a murder scene. You're heavy handed. Yeah, she's not graceful with it. She doesn't finesse. It's not a finesse. You're heavy handed. If you know Hannah, you could be friends with Hannah for like literally only seven days. And then like there could be a blind testing of like, is this Hannah's walk down the hallway? And you'll pick it out in a second. Okay, so I'm heavy footed.

You're heavy. Oh my, I'd say you're more heavy footed than you are heavy handed. Were you just about to call me just heavy?

You're like, you're heavy arms, you're heavy torsoed. Sierra said something the other day and it was so fucking funny. She said to someone, she was like, you're a big man. And someone was like, you can't just like say that to him. And like someone called her out and was like, you can't just like call that guy like a big man. And she was like, I didn't even say big. I said he was heavy. And I was like, that's literally 20,000 times worse. Like you can't just go around.

Calling people heavy. But anyway, you are a heavy handed and heavy footed. I don't float through life. Let's just say. But you never took ballet. No. Never a day in your life. When I was at the tennis academy, we like always would walk down the stairs. They'd be like, like, stop slamming the stairs. And I'm like, this is how I walk.

When you were younger and you were like walking around the upstairs and like your family was downstairs, was there ever a time where they were like, God damn it, Hannah? They were like, that's good old heavy footed Hannah. Are you flat footed? No, I'm actually very fast. I'm quite light on my feet when I run. No, you are. You are quite swift. Yeah.

You are. You really are very agile. I am very agile. But when it comes to walking, I... Well, you're not flexible. I'm not flexible. Anything else you'd like to add? No, I think that's fine.

But it's funny how people's natural walking technique, it can be like wrong. One of my favorite things is when driving, when I'm not driving, I can't drive, but when Des is driving, watching people's jogging techniques is

Because that is a true expression. Some people run crazy. Yeah, that's why I don't do it. Like one of their arms will just be lagging. I don't need to be judged by some bitch driving by. They have a weird like twitch in their shoulder. Their heads bobbing like people have a way of running. But I recently was talking to one of my girls who's very fit. And she was like, running is not actually good for you to break down your body.

And that people is why we don't do it. And that's a fact. Nothing's good for you. No. Name one thing that's like good for you. My cat. Yeah, that's it. Like I know.

Laying on the couch is my... But as an influencer who influences people on things that will bring them joy, how do you even choose what to tell them what to get if everything is made up? Superficial material items. I'm like, this will make me feel good for a week. We're going week by week, people, because it's too hard out here. Actually, I manifested too much for myself where I'm so obsessed with my Amazon storefront and buying stuff on Amazon. I will...

You will never catch me buying something that's $200 ever. I will never get a $200 shirt, a $200 pant. Can I tell you what I just bought that was $200 on Amazon? And I literally said aloud, I can't believe I'm buying something that's $200 on Amazon. What? A fucking SodaStream.

game changer game changer because i love a seltzer yeah it's also another thing that's so bad for you seltzers but i was like they're really bad for you it's just carbs and water not the same literally nope not at all it's just carbonation

Carbonation is so bad for your digestive system and like your stomach. And the soda streams you could flavor and stuff. You can flavor them. And I was just so sick of. Cans. Like the cans. Loading the cans in the refrigerator. Throwing the cans away. Like I'm done with the cans. Yeah. Like oh we got rid of straws but we didn't think anything about the cans. Yeah. Wait so you're an environmentalist. I'm done with the cans.

I'm literally an environmental lawyer. Like, I'm here to save the planet. Okay, George Clooney's wife. What's her name? Amal. Amal. I'm literally...

New York City one can at a time. And so I bought it was like a two hundred and sixty six dollar soda stream. I got it in silver and I'm fucking pumped. You know, my parents have had that for a while. It's like they love it. It's like kept their marriage alive. They've been like, got to refill the soda stream. And you're like, it's also fun. Yeah. Like gets them going. It literally gets me going. I use one. You're basically a chef. No way.

Oh, literal. I'm like, I'm Jesus. No, you're Jesus. I just turned flat water into sparkling. Wait, that's incredible.

But that's like a productive thing to get. My problem with Amazon is everything's $15. So you can't talk me out of getting something that's $15. But then you get 15 things that are $15 a day. What's like, what's your most recent purchase? I'll tell you what I purchased this morning. I'm on, no, I'm on a real kick where like, I think I have an addiction. Yeah. Um,

I'm pulling it up It's also because The instant gratification Of that item Showing up in two days You're just like Exactly what my store Toan and I need it Okay I'm gonna go I'm gonna tell you guys And you can go to my Amazon storefront Obviously I got a corduroy Long sleeve Loose casual shirt Large khaki For fall Obvi

I got jumbo hair clips. I have a ton of hair clips, but I gave one to my friend. So in my head, I was like, oh my God, I actually really like that one. I need to buy more of them. Don't you hate when that happens? It's a $1 hair clip, but I like love that hair clip. And I was like, yeah, you can keep it. And then I was like, I have to go to Amazon tonight.

Then I haven't done my laundry and this is the grossest part about me. I ordered six new pairs of underwear because I know I'm not going to do my laundry this week. Got it. I do that all the time. When I have my period, I'm like underwear is disposable. Okay. I've been doing this horrible thing where I just don't use tampons sometimes during my period. Bro. Bro. Me too. Are we aging out of tampons? And it's not like I'm not bleeding. I just wear a black granny panty and I go. I'm not doing it.

We're not doing it today. And we survived the day. And you know where that, it goes right in the garbage. Right in the trash. Right in the trash. Do you know they have like actual underwear that's supposed to soak it up? But I think it's a con. Gross. Because my underwear soaks that shit up. I have my own. Yeah. I'm like, okay, so basically I invented. There's two layers in your underwear for a reason, girlies. Dude, I can't, but I haven't told anyone that I've been doing that. No, I didn't do that. Because I was like, people are going to think it's gross.

It's gross. It's not gross. If I feel the slightest tingle of a UTI, I cannot put a tampon in because I'm like, I'll ruin my whole day. Like I can only use organic tampons. Yeah.

You're so pure. So pure. And so sometimes I'm just like not doing it. Well, not doing it. I think the last time I just like didn't have tampons around. So instead of being like, oh, I'm going to run an errand. I'm sorry. I don't. I sooner rather die. People run errands every day. Like, what are you running? Grow up. So I just like was like, also, I don't really want to shove a tampon up my cooter.

I said this to my mom recently and she was like, uh, yeah, you can put a pad in there. I was like, I'm not walking around in a diaper, mom. I'm an adult. My mom would say the same thing. It doesn't seem like it, but okay. Okay. So we don't use tampons. That's our new thing. We single-handedly keep the industry under the underwear industry alive. We do. Okay. I'm going to keep going. I got some more makeup remover wipes because I have this new thing where if I don't have my makeup remover wipes, I'm going to have to do it again.

I am like I can't take it off I'm so spoiled by them I'm like I'm not gonna wash my face I haven't used a makeup remover wipe since high school what do you use to get your makeup off face wash like even the like mascara and stuff it comes off well I do use an elemis bum sometimes but that's when I have like a full fucking beat do you know who uses bums rich people Olivia Wilde

Olivia Wilde loves an overall face balm that you can also put on your lip. That's how she has that natural glow. I got a cubic zirconia huggy earring. I need tank top. This is, you know what it is? Because I'm like getting better at fashion, but I'm not actually good at fashion. I keep buying shit to like change my life. But then whenever I need to get dressed, I still don't feel like I have.

The stuff. The stuff. So I keep ordering stuff. I got that. So I have more tank tops. I got like an oversized long sleeved v-neck knitted polo pullover sweater jumper. I don't know why it needed so many descriptions. Okay. I got another one of those corset things because I had a brown but I got a black because I need a black. I got a sunglasses organizer because I've been getting a lot of sunglasses but it arrived without all the pieces. Okay.

But it's only $17. So I just ordered another one. But it's not. Is it a true sunglass organizer that like you put on the wall or is that like one of the nail polish? It's like a clear one that you put on your desk. Do yourself a favor and type in nail polish organizers that they have an actual nail salons that that you put on your wall. Oh,

That's what I put my sunglasses on. Oh, my God. That is so smart. And then you just flip. Wow. That is so smart. Yeah. So I have two of them. I've been obsessed with these like alien type glasses, a saddlebag, vintage crossbody bag, satchel handbag thing. Yeah, it's it's bad. You did all this this morning. No, I went into some other days, but like but also nothing's over like twenty five bucks. But right, guys, it adds up.

It does add up, but it's also the single thing that brings joy to my life is like placing an Amazon order. That's what I'm doing with you right now. Do I have a problem or am I just being like a normal fun girly? No, you're being normal and fun. Okay. It's normal and fun. Wait, now I want to go to like my recent Amazon purchase. Yeah, tell me what you got because I'm feeling like overexposed.

Mine is literally all clothes. I bought this like white long sleeve like sheer top that only like ties in the middle but it's like oversized. She's like boho. Oh, I love it. Then I bought a long sleeve white

onesie that's shorts then i bought some hayley bieber pants then i bought my soda stream then i bought two corseted long sleeve tops yeah and then a body suit that's like black and white is that all like within the month that was all like in the past couple of days okay good and then it's all just like clothes also for people listening this is irresponsible this is however but you want to know

It's our job to look good. But also Amazon helps keep you organized. Like I know it seriously does. Like my cabinets, I put all my cereal in those clear containers and like all my candy is in a clear container. If it's in the home, it's in a clear container. Okay. Olivia Wilde. Yeah. No, literally Olivia. Do you watch the home edit on Netflix? Yes.

yeah i do i will watch that instead of cleaning my own house i'll watch it but they love putting because my thing is i don't know if it's my adhd but if i don't see it it's not there like i don't know what's in things like if i have a drawer right i don't know what clothes are in there i don't know how is your apartment interior design maximalist to have going oh my god so good question

The paint job is done. We did like a bright mustard in the living room. Yep. We did like this lime ugly green for the cabinets in the kitchen, which I'm obsessed with. Okay. We did like a stromboli, which is apparently a place in Sicily. Blue, which just means... It's stromboli blue? I wasn't thinking it was going to be blue. Blue? Yeah. Okay, stromboli blue. Wow, I'm naming my firstborn son that. Stromboli blue? Stromboli.

Sorry, that's... It does sound like a celebrity child. Move over, Harry Styles, because Stromboli Blue is now the headline. Thank you. Oh, my God. Thank you. It sounds like a SoundCloud rapper. Stromboli Blue. And then, like, a lavender gin blossom for my room. And we're getting... We're finishing the...

um we're basically sourcing from like vintage places there's this really cool company called kayo k-a-i-y-o that has like really good vintage stuff but organized and they have like white glove delivery whatever um and then i'm getting this like insane blue couch that is the centerpiece i can't wait for the blue couch it's coming in like eight days or something and my personality's gonna change i'm gonna warn you guys she's she's gonna be different

Wow, I'm surprised you got it so quickly. I know. But also what a lot of people are asking me, it's one of these like very high fashion couches and people are like, is it comfortable? I'm gonna tell you one thing. I don't know. Don't be honest with you guys. And I'm going to tell you when it's not comfortable. I haven't I haven't sat on it yet. Here's the thing, though. I don't feel we're different in terms of like I'll be on the couch for hours.

72 hours like and that's like where I am you're more of a bed person anyway like do you nap on your couch so I actually have an amazing couch in New York City that I live on if I'm in the bed and I fall asleep I'm asleep all day

I like will refuse to nap in bed because that's sleep for me. Yeah. So I am a couch person too. You have to immediately go into REM. Yeah. Like some people can do a 15 minute shut the lights under the covers in bed. That's four hours, Minn.

No, I don't. I've never abided by that rule where it's like if you get up before 30 minutes, like you'll feel more refreshed. Fuck off. That's toxic. That is toxic. Like you only live one life. Olivia Wilde takes eight minute naps. She does.

You know, she's like a Navy SEAL. She takes eight minute naps to recharge her battery. You're so right. That is a Navy SEAL. Shit. I'm not a fucking hunter. If I want to sleep for 40 minutes, I'm sleeping for 40 minutes. Also, I've never once woken up from a nap and felt good. So I highly doubt sleeping less.

at a certain minute is going to make me feel rested. That science is off. And if for people are like, no, it's true. If you sleep 15 minutes, no, because the whole time I'm going to be stressed that I have to sleep exactly at 15 minutes. Yeah. Right. Because who knows what minute you're actually falling asleep? That's the thing that I don't get. Well, now they have these apps that like let you know how much sleep your body's getting. But I...

don't want to get it because I don't want to face the truth that this app is going to be like you have chronic fatigue you need to go to a doctor your estrogen levels are fucked up like something deep is happening there's like apple watches that will tell you like when you need to stand up and I'm like that's toxic

fuck that i hate those alerts i'm like how dare you honestly i'm over people like talking about their steps the other day i was like i've never cared about my steps the other day i was like walking all over the city like doing these errands and i was like oh my god i for sure i'm one of those girlies that just got their 10 000 steps in today i looked at it hannah didn't even break five i was like wait a minute

something's off i was so pissed one of my friends who is self-proclaimed crazy she was just like talking to people and like bopping up and down like and i was like what are you doing she goes i gotta hit my steps and i was like this is a cult no it's a pyramid this is when you're gonna start losing family and friends you're isolating yourself um

But I do have to say my great grandma lived till 98 and all she did was walk to work and back every day. So I do think walking is healthy. I know it's jogging is out. Walking is in. I'll walk. Yeah, I'll walk. I'm not running on a treadmill. I'll walk on a treadmill. I'll walk on it. But like I might as well walk and like see stuff. Right. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm not running anywhere. Unless someone's chasing me, I'm not running. I think it's time for our mental health moment. Okay. I actually have a couple. Are you ready? I need a couple. Well, starting off, we were talking about this earlier, but I want people to know if you're feeling a little confused of like direction of like little decisions in your life, your life is made up of a bunch of tiny day-to-day decisions that like you look back 10 years from now and you go, how did I get here? It's from all these little decisions. So once you stop for a second,

Look in the mirror. If you don't like how you look, look at a wall. Yeah. If your orbital bone's fucked up, I suggest you just sit in silence. And...

Think about like what your biggest dream is that people would laugh at you about, like something that's so embarrassing, but it's like your fucking dream. And then today start doing little things to get there and make decisions to get there. If every that's what manifesting is. If every decision is towards one common goal, you're going to hit that goal. Hannah said this to me before we got on the pod and I said, save it because more people need to hear this other than just me. Don't keep your creative juices for just me.

You're so right. It was selfish of me to try to tell you without telling the giggler. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks.

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Yeah. Also, we did this new thing where we don't say we saw it on TikTok. We read it in the New York Times is what we say. Yeah. So on the New York Times, this girl, Michelle Diaz, spoke about lucky girl syndrome. It's basically about being delusional that you are the luckiest girl in the world.

And she's like, you wake up in the morning and you just tell yourself, like, I'm so lucky. Like only good things happen to me. Whatever I do, like I just never fail. I could literally do anything in the world just conspires to my favor. And what is OK right now at this moment in your life? What is your first thought when you wake up? I have to check my phone to see. Mine's just like, fuck, like, just hold on. This is my doorman with my coffee. Hello. Good. How are you?

I am. Yeah, you can. Did a coffee order come? Yeah. Okay, that's okay. Yeah, you can send my packages up. Thank you. All right, bye. Okay, so many thoughts. One, did he call you Pee?

yeah we're at like we're on a different level me that is so cute watch out craig too i love how you just said the saddest thing i've ever heard and then casually we're like oh my coffee's here i do what did i say you said when you wake up your first thought is fuck yeah and i said that to craig the other day and he was like i think something's wrong with you and i was like wait is everyone not waking up and just being like

for fuck's sake like this again you need to change some energies because i've been there no page i've been there probably up until a week ago i was there as a wise conquered person i remember that time olivia wild wakes up to butterflies and says butterflies wake olivia wild up i do sometimes not want to go to sleep because i don't want to wake up in the morning

Which is a weird thing that I battle. Do you ever like not want to start the day? Okay, that's an interesting one. Yeah. Because you know the second you go to sleep, you have to start the day. Yes. I think that's depression. I used to have that with like tennis. We'd have like in the morning, we'd have to run like a timed mile at 6 a.m. And it would be like 10 p.m. We'd all be sitting there being like, we don't want to go to sleep. We don't want to go to sleep. So that trauma has followed me my whole life. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. Lastly...

Okay, this is my favorite one and I might have said it here before but it's worth so good I'm going to say it again. It's about failing and I feel like a lot of people are scared of failing. And I've heard people talk about it's kind of a generic piece of advice but that what if I told you after 18 failures you're going to have a success. Then you'd want to fail all the time. Exactly. You'd be so quick to try your next failure. Nailed it.

Yes. Wait, that's a good one. That just put a pep in my step. I know. I literally saw your whole energy change. Is that true? It's no, it's literally true. Because imagine looking back how many things you fucked up to get to that non fuck up. It's like that's just how the world works. So you just because think about it. You can't fail forever. So keep failing. Keep failing. Yeah.

I mean, we all have one friend. But who are we to say? You know? Well, I don't know. We gave advice. But I don't know. You make your own decisions. Well, I don't know. Finally. That was our mental health moment. Yeah. I have one more front page news. Okay. There was a thing on the New York Times going around about... I'm laughing because Des and my mom actually read the New York Times. Yeah.

They're like, I didn't see that one. What day was that on? You're like, I don't know. Des will say something in the news and I'm like, what? And he's like, it's been everywhere. And I'm like, not on my TikTok algorithm. Remember like the Suez Canal? Apparently people talked about it for like a month, but until people started making memes, I had no idea that there was like a problem. Anyway.

So Kate Moss went on TikTok and told a story of the first diamond necklace she ever got. And she was on a date with Johnny Depp. And he goes, can you get something for me? And she gets up and she tells him to reach into like his butt of his pants and pulls out a diamond necklace. I just immediately was like, I have to hear Paige's thoughts on this because I'm feeling a lot of weird feelings.

Okay. The only reason I'm giving them a pass is because Johnny Depp and Kate Moss were on a lot of cocaine in the 90s. Like, a heavy amount of cocaine. And I... This is a Johnny Depp, Kate Moss stan podcast because I have a massive picture of them in my home. So, like, I pray to Johnny Depp and Kate Moss. I don't... Personally don't love it. Like, I feel like if Craig was like, hey, pull this out of the back of my pants. Like...

I'd be uneasy But again the 90s were a different time And cocaine I just feel like was a lot stronger Back then He took anal beads to a new level Literally I guess it's fun It's like quirky Men's butts are a whole other monster

I've never... Sometimes girls will be like, oh my God. You know when you're watching a football game or something or you're pretending to watch it and girls will say stuff like, oh, their butt in their football pants. I've never been a girl to say that. I think I'll notice a bubble butt, but I've never been attracted to it. Never. I'll notice if his butt is better than mine, I'll tell you that. No. I'm just... It's not...

I'm very much a face person unless it comes to like Jack Harlow and Post Malone. I'm very much a face person and I want to be ugly. I want it to look like it's been through a lot. I want to look like it was in a microwave.

Like I know that Jack Harlow wouldn't pull a diamond necklace out of his ass for me. Like I know that to be true. That is some hot pretty boy bullshit. Yeah. It's just not for me. That's like him trying to be interesting when it's like, sorry, you're. Jack would like take it out of his like bomber jacket pocket. No box. Hand it to you. And that's. Or no, he wouldn't hand it to you. He'd be like, turn around. Yeah. He'd like put it on. Or just put it on the table and like slide it to you.

Are you hooking up with Jack at Vegas? I won't tell anyone. He's going to have an after party. We're not going to actually meet him. Do you think we are? Well, it depends. Have you been manifesting?

I, no, I haven't. Because Craig was. But I'm going to start. Craig's not happy. Yeah, Craig's like getting into my thoughts. Yeah, Craig is doing the best to get in the way of that love story. Yeah. Because he's selfish. It's rude. It's selfish. It really is. Like, don't you want me to be so happy? Do you guys have hall passes?

Yeah, but like hypothetical ones. Like I think that if I texted Craig in Vegas and was like, hey, can I fuck Jack Harlow? He'd probably have like a real problem with it. But you never know. We'll see. Oh, God. Well, this is the month of Giggly Squad touring. We are going New York City first. Then we're going to Vegas. Then Boston, D.C. It's all fucking happening. Are you excited? I'm really excited. I'm so excited for New York City this weekend. I can't believe it's this weekend. I haven't even done my outfits.

I yeah I have to figure all that out we're like have to put everything together it's all happening I'm so excited um we love you guys so much thank you for giggling and we'll talk to you next week bye