Giggling about world tour dates, guys cheating, and parasite cleanses
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I mean, the day just got away from me. Okay, I don't even have an introduction to this one because our tour dates, well, that's hard to say, tour dates just dropped and I'm piddling myself. Sorry, the word piddling just really got me.

I had a reaction I didn't think I was going to have. Also, I guess our pre-sale tickets go on sale the same time as Taylor Swift. And I'm not saying that she's a manifesting queen, but Real recognizes Real. People message us like, oh no, it's the same time as Taylor. And I said, you know what? That's not a problem. No, it's not. We will make it work. Yeah. We support other women. We do. And

And you know what? If it sells out, we're adding another show. Right. Like, I don't think she could just, like, add new stadium dates, but we'll add another theater for you guys. Which is fun about Giggly Squad, because, like, we put out tour dates, and then we see, like, how quickly they sell out, and if that city, like...

if they're gonna the gigglers are gonna burn it to the ground if we don't add another night so that's what we typically do so we leave a couple nights free in case like you start to riot yeah so we do a little two-a-day action but let me announce the dates page okay we're going to durham north carolina sure are then we're going to charlotte north carolina then we're going to your boys charleston south carolina and houston texas

Dallas, Texas. Then Denver, Colorado. Are we going to do all the shows in a southern accent? We were just in Atlanta. Go Bulldogs. Oh my God. And we did basically half the show in a southern accent. We did realize that if we stop saying you guys and we start saying y'all, we save so many seconds of our lives. Yeah, so much time. We have Phoenix, Arizona, San Diego, California, Philadelphia, Florida.

Pennsylvania. I don't know what that accent is. Hoagie. Huntington, New York. Minneapolis, Minnesota. Go take some pictures. And Chicago, Illinois. I feel like I've dated a lot of people from Huntington, New York. Really? I think so. Anywho. I think it's a beautiful town with clearly hot guys. Okay, so Atlanta was truly feral. No. Atlanta was so absolutely insane. And I think it's a beautiful town.

Everybody was blacked out. We know when, okay, like we will do the show and then like the show will be over and then Hannah and I will go in our green room and we'll kind of talk about like how we think the show went. But we really don't know how the show went until people that are working at the venue have to come and tell us. And it's all men. Typically, it's all men that work at the venues. Yeah.

And multiple of them came back and said they were scared. They were legitimately scared for their lives. They were like, we've never seen a crowd like this. Like, this has been so chaotic. We had to get extra security because y'all are crazy. They said, we don't have a men's bathroom anymore. The girls have taken it over. And I felt like it was mean girls. Like, the junior girls have gone wild. Yeah.

The kicklers have gone wild. Security guards and the like sound guys in the beginning were like, so what do y'all do? You just like prance around and play Taylor Swift. What do y'all do? And we're like, basically, yeah, that is what we do. And at the end, they're like, you guys were like, you were like funny. Also, I think everyone thought we were girls, no job. Every guy that worked there, he was like, oh, I've seen you before perform. And we were like, that's actually not us, but

White girls, forget it. I go with it. I'm like, yes, you did. Thank you for being a longtime fan. No, but I use the word feral because a giggler literally DM me and apologized. She said she was truly feral at the show. She was like, I didn't eat enough beforehand. Gigglers, if you need some toast in between, we will bring you some toast because we had to warn them at one point. We're like, guys, someone in Philly broke a collarbone. You have to drink some water in between shots. When they start doing the bulldog chant, I got scared.

Philly was by far our craziest crowd. And we had gone, we've gone other places since Philly. Boston is pretty nuts too. Nothing has topped Atlanta. Atlanta is truly one of a kind. Philly was our fault though because we pretty much, it was like our first show. We were still figuring out what content we wanted to do and we did like a full three hours. So those girls...

anyone would have blacked out. They got a show. So anyway, the live shows are lit. We love you guys so fucking much. We're so excited to take America by storm. Our North American tour. Yeah, we have been getting some questions about Ireland. You guys know we are a European podcast, so we will be going there. And we get so many about Canada, which we're working on. So it's not like we've just forgotten about Canada. So if you guys are listening online,

And it's Tuesday morning at 10 a.m. Use the code GIGGLY in our link in bio to buy tickets before they go on sale to the masses. I highly recommend you do it. Oh, my God. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. OK, what's going on? Not to say that we're psychics or anything, but did you see that Pete Davidson and Emily Ratajkowski spotted out in Brooklyn all over each other?

Yeah, Des told me about it and I was like, we definitely called it on Giggly. That's so weird because Craig is the one that told me about it.

And he pronounced, well, he just had to say Emily. I don't think he said the rest of her name, but I was hoping he'd mispronounce it so we can make it a thing. It wasn't Gigi Hadid. I was like, yeah, we called it. But then I was like, did we call it or did everyone in the world call it? Who didn't see this coming? Here's the thing that's so nuts about the Pete Davidson phenomenon. It's like if there's a hot girl who is like,

I mean, I don't even know how to categorize celebrities anymore. Like, you know how it used to be like A-list, B-list. I feel like since like social media, it's so different. So like, would you, I wouldn't say that, I wouldn't say Pete or Emily are A-list, but are they? They're A-list for like pop culture. It's like Julia Fox. She's A-list for pop culture.

They're very hot right now. But Emily's actually been hot for like a while. Yes. But like, for example, Julia Fox has been in one movie, dated one guy. Yeah. But she's more interesting and relevant than like George Clooney. Totally. Totally. Or Brad Pitt. Even like Anne Hathaway.

I know Anne Hathaway is actually like... No way. No. No. Anne is having a moment. She is, but I'm more interested in Julia Fox because Julia Fox... People are fucking loving her because she just goes on her phone and says all these like hot takes and like really probably high opinions that no celebrity has ever given us. Here's the other thing. All of her hot takes we've talked about on Giggly Squad. She definitely...

Is a giggler. So I feel like we could imagine we had a dinner, Julia, Emily, me, and you. How fun that would be. Are you drinking a monster energy drink? Are you a 23-year-old named Chad? Is your name Tristan? Oh, I almost just fell. I had nothing in my refrigerator, and I needed something other than water, and Craig always drinks these stupid rehab monster tea and lemonade.

So it basically tastes like an iced tea. But you know when you're like, you need something to drink, but you don't want to drink water? No, that's literally all I do. I don't drink water. Today, I was like, Des, I have a headache. And he's like, you worked out this morning. You haven't drank any water. I go, I walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes at a three incline. I was going to say, subtle flex. So you wanted to just tell us that you worked out this morning.

well Des is here so I was like he's back after like traveling so I woke up like early because I was kind of excited because there was another person in my my apartment it's my apartment and I was I was trying to impress him and I was like should we work out the gym because I've changed in the last two weeks I'm like a really driven you're different yeah and he was like let's go and he got me a guest pass to Equinox we go in and

I'm walking on the treadmill and he's like, when are you going to work out? And I go, babe, this is my workout. And he's like, you used to play Division I. How dare he? How dare he? And then I go to stretch because obviously I need to stretch. And then I was on my phone for 10 minutes because that's what stretching is. That's how you stretch. And then I was like, I'm going to go. And he was like, you use, it's a $50 guest pass. You use $20 of it. That's not how it works.

he goes that don't work so honestly I'm overstimulated by all the rich people in this place and I want to go home I hate gyms like I my gym in my building is the only thing I would ever go to because it's not that big there's never anyone in it but like

After something happened to me after quarantine that like shall not ever go to a crowded gym or a workout class. I almost have like a phobia of it.

I've been working out my entire life and I've done like every single workout you could possibly imagine. And I feel insecure when I go to gyms of like how I'm using the weights or like what, you know, planks I'm doing. So I can't imagine how someone feels if they've never done sports or done workouts before who's attempting to start. Like I'll say gyms are toxic. No, I don't want to ever go to one ever again. I will never go to one ever again.

And then there's the gyms that are like, we're not judging and they give pizza outside. And I'm like, that's a multi-level marketing scheme though. Yeah, because you're just obviously keeping me coming back here. For pizza. But anyway, back to Pete and Em, Pem. I just think she's doing single so correct. Well, I hope they're not official. No, they're definitely not official. Like who really even knows what's going on with Brad Pitt? She was spotted out with someone else making out with him. Like she's doing, I think what...

Girls have a hard time doing. I know I used to have a hard time doing this when I was single. Keeping it very casual with like each person and just going out and literally only focusing on having fun. The way you do it.

is literally taking out any fairy tale in your head and instead of fantasizing how you're going to run away and live with this man forever and have a family, fantasize that you're going to hook up with the hottest guys in the city and have so much fun and show them off that you've hooked up with this hot guy. And treat them like they're objects. Even though I hate the male species other than my dad. So much.

I will commend them on being way better than us at living in the moment. Well, it's because they have so simple-minded. So simple-minded. They don't see big picture and they don't like think about things other than like what's happening to them right now. But I feel like they're good at not fantasizing about things in relationships so they can navigate easier. Like it's easier for them to,

emotionally to date multiple people than it is for us. Yeah, because they're just like, oh, you're pretty. Oh, you're pretty. Oh, I like your butt. You're pretty. They're like squirrels. But I do think when they do find the person they like, they fall really fucking fast. Right. And you know if it's you or not. You know immediately. No, like you do. I could literally like in my head convince myself that a garbage can is

Is going to be the love of my life. And make me happy forever. If I want to. Like I can make anyone in my head seem amazing. And that's a skill. That is a skill. Put it on your LinkedIn. And that's creative writing. And that's improv. And that's improv.

And so come to our improv class that we will be hosting. Because that's an art. That's an art form. Dude, it's so bad. But I do think I started doing better when I would meet someone and I'd be like, I could never marry them. But I still, you want to fantasize about something. So I literally would fantasize being like, he's so tall. He's so cute. And he likes me. But like, I would never marry him. My mom would be like, do not introduce me to this guy.

right I wish that half the guys I dated really were what I've made them in my head because in my head I believed in them so much to like get there and like be that person but they just never are or never will be I wouldn't even know who they were because I was so busy like

making things up or someone else yeah like i would even listen to them when they talk i just be like they're perfect and he'd literally be like i just killed 10 people and i'm like oh i love how his eyebrows move when he talks i don't know about pete i mean it's fun and entertaining for us but like i believe celebrity couples should be like for real happiness like dolly parton

She's been married for 100 years. We've never even seen her husband. Right. I feel like if you're posting, not that either of them posted, but I do feel like if... If you're hanging out in the middle of Williamsburg making out. Right. That's my thing. That's my thing. Like, if you're doing things that, like... But also, okay, should they not live their lives just because...

They're like in the public eye. Like make out in an apartment. Right. I totally agree with that. Why are you making out in the middle of one of the busiest areas of all of New York City? If you've only had sex two times, nothing should be posted on the internet about your relationship.

If I had a dollar. His PR hit up her PR. Their managers were like, does Pete think Emily's pretty? And he's like, yeah, he has eyes. And then they're like, do they like Pete's unique funny? She's like, sign me the fuck up. She's also not just like getting a new boyfriend or something. She also has a child now. So I couldn't imagine how that plays into your dating life. Like that's so stressful for her.

Well, same with Julia Fox. Julia Fox as a child. I would be so much more stressed out about, I think I'd be better at dating. You're probably so much better at dating because you're now not just thinking about you. You're thinking about this small little human that this person is also going to be affected by. So your radar is probably so much lower for some bullshit.

Like where you're just like, fuck, get the fuck out of here. Or you want a guy even more because you feel like, holy shit, my life would be better if I had more of like a family structure, like help that you might project onto more people that they're good. But I don't know. I've never had a kid. Okay. Well, someone woke up. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I actually just woke up from an hour. I'm being kind of a bitch this episode. You're like, actually, um, actually, someone who's never had children, I hate.

What do you think about Giselle and her jujitsu instructor? Someone said she was dating another football player. Okay, well, she was spotted out. Craig and I actually just got into like a fight about this. She was spotted out in Costa Rica with her jujitsu instructor. And he said, oh, girls are the worst. They move on so quickly. And I was like, okay.

And he goes, OK, take it back and take it back because because Tom Brady was wrong in this scenario. And then I said I said, I doubt she's dating this jujitsu instructor. Her kids probably like take his class. She's taking his class and her kids probably like like him. Also, we don't know when their relationship went sour. She could have felt lonely the last four years. And that's not fast to move on.

Not fast to move on. But also I was like, she's probably not even dating this person because she just went from like Tom Brady. She had to do everything in the relationship, an NFL star. She's probably she's going through a divorce between she's cutting her money. She's like, get all of her money. They obviously had a prenup, but like whatever. And she's going to date someone that's like stable for her.

And also, I don't know if she would date a random jujitsu instructor and immediately introduce her. And then Craig was like, would you not date a jujitsu instructor? And I was just like, I once dated a jujitsu instructor. You're like, wait a second. And let me tell you something. He was one of the hottest men in New York City. And I stick by it.

Oh. And sometimes I do watch his Instagram stories and he's still doing it. And I'm like, you're just good for you. You kick those things. Yeah. They do have very flexible hip flexors. Wow.

What I think would be messy is he is the best football player. How many guys in the league fucking hate Tom Brady and are probably like, I'm going to literally try to schmooze the shit out of her and DM her, send her flowers. Like, I wonder how many football guys are trying with her. I mean, it's pretty savage. I don't see her. I see her dating around for a while and it's going to be like an emirata thing. She's going to be seen out with like,

super wild people that she's going to be seen out. It's like very low key people. I don't actually even see her getting remarried. I see her just like living her life and I don't see her dating another athlete.

I agree. I also think that there's still this horrible stereotype though where like Pete Davidson could be seen with like five different women in one month where like as the women they still have to be like selective of like like if I'm Rod is out with like four other guys this month they're going to talk shit about her. Right. I mean I want

know how emorado is like meeting all these people i was single in new york for years i didn't have four dates in one week what app is she on it's p it's pr it's literally managers hitting each other up i mean it is a little reality tv-esque where it's like

Like they live their private lives, but they put their certain things out there to the public and they decide. And I guess they mutually decide if they're a similar amount of fame. It's literally like an Instagram collab. Like two people with a similar amount of followers are like, I'm willing to hang out with you and go to an event and take a photo with you. It's literally that. It's so funny because I think about this all the time. Like if Craig and I were to break up.

Like, one, would I like, would I want it to be out there that I was dating someone else? Or would I like not? And I think the latter. I think that like, no one would ever know who I was dating until like a year later. Someone commented on one of my pictures and was like, you only post like you and Hannah. Like, did you and Craig break up? He didn't even wish you a happy birthday. And I was just like,

Because he did it in real life. And then I had an actual friend DM me and text me like, did you and Craig break up? You never post him. And I said, that's because I'm decentering men from my life. They also wait. This same person asked if you and Des were still married. And I responded, we are decentering men from our life. And he said, wow, love that.

But imagine like you post something with Craig and then the whole Internet has a thought about it. Do we like what page war? Do we like how they're holding each other? Do they pass the green line test? Like, how do you believe in that green line test, though? I mean, you guys are on a reality show. People watch it there. But that doesn't mean that they need to actually see like your personal life day to day.

No. But it's hard because they get it somehow. So they're kind of like, why can't I get it here? But it's you just like having some boundaries with your life. Also, when I started dating Craig, we kept it a secret for five months. Also, we talk about everything on Giggly Squad because the real ones recognize real. Speaking of hating men because they're the worst.

Are you taught when you wrote in the Giggly Squad notes? Is this from TikTok where it's like a trend of what guys did while they were cheating? Yeah. Wait, I've only seen like one or two. And I was like, is this about to be like a crazy trend that everyone's going to start doing? Because then I was trying to think of like what mine were.

Okay, explain it. So women are basically saying things my dude did while he was cheating on me. And they're like, gave me hundreds of flowers every Monday. Yeah, like crazy things. Got a tattoo of me, my dog, and my name. Like,

Bought me a car. Got me bags. Yep. Posted me on his Instagram every single week. Kind of nutty. And these are the things. It goes back to our original thing about like paragraph captions and stuff. I'm like, you're overcompensating. And people have different reasons for overcompensating. Sometimes it's cheating. Sometimes they just hate the person. Yep. And it made me think because I've never...

known any of my long-term boyfriends to have cheated on me like we never ended a relationship because someone cheated on me got it wow and none of those guys have ever been like an over-the-top affectionate person like those relationships they were never big on social media with me they never bought me really big gifts and I think that's just like a kind of dude

It's so funny because I have been cheated on multiple times and we have broken up over it and they still didn't do like extravagant shit. Second, wait a damn minute here.

Like I knew because like I just am so intuitive. And then I'd also go through their phones. You're like, just to get receipts. Just to get a form of receipt. Screenshot, take a photo from your other phone. You know the deal. Yeah. Cheating can happen in so many ways. But I do think it's a form of like, why is someone love bombing you right now? And I'm not saying like, oh, your boyfriend that gives you no compliments and like doesn't treat you well is not cheating. So you should love him. That's not what I'm saying.

I feel like... He might not be cheating. When I got cheated on, mine were very, like... I would always think, like, okay, if my friend called me right now and told me everything that I'm currently experiencing, what would my response be to her? And it would be like, you dumb bitch. He's fucking cheating on you. And that's how I would always, like...

My brain would go from like, OK, but I love him so much. And maybe he's not like making up excuses to being like, OK, I'm so done with this guy. And like I'm going to tell him like I obviously know you're cheating on me. It is wild, though, and I think it's important for people to see because a lot of these guys who love bomb like are it's so bad. And it reminds me of the TikTok that you sent me where the girls like.

I could get love bumps so easily. Like a guy in two minutes says, you're the most beautiful, amazing human I've ever met. And I'm like, finally, this guy gets it. This guy fucking gets it. I've been trying to tell all of y'all for months that I am the best. And this guy got it in two days. It is true. I'm so easy to love bomb because I'm just like, hello, you're so smart. I am the funniest human you've ever met.

It's funny because the worst guy I ever dated did my first date compliment me the most. As in like he had a line. He was like, you're so naturally pretty. And he was a monster. Yeah. My worst boyfriend ever.

would tell me like you're so funny you're literally the funniest person and it would counteract everything he did because no one ever I feel like ever gave me that recognition in terms of like a boyfriend and I fucking loved it and I would like hold on to it are you kidding me I would have married that man yeah

and I never saw her again and I'd be like, you think I'm funny? - Was like, wow, you really know timing and you're so quick. - This guy sees me, he sees me. - When Craig came home for the weekend with me for my birthday, my dad just like thinks that everything I could ever do is just elite, the best, iconic. Literally he is Lady Gaga describing me, like never been done before. - My dad asked for a fan photo with me and you.

That was so cute. And so I like was on Watch What Happens Live. And my dad, I guess, like keeps watching it, like figured out how to do on demand. Like my mom said she'll wake up in the middle of the night and he'll be up watching it. And he asked Craig if Craig watched me on it. And Craig was like, no, I don't like watch any of like the reality stuff. You would have thought he shot my dad in the heart. My dad was like, what's wrong? What's wrong with you? Like legitimately, like.

Like, couldn't grasp. He was like, but she's so funny. And she looks so good. And what are you doing that you haven't watched her and complimented her? Like, can't understand how he's not, like...

And that's why I really will never get married because there is no man on the planet that will ever compare to the way my dad loves me. And it's really stunting me. Like it's hard to date because I'm like, um, my dad thinks it's perfect and amazing. So maybe you should call him, talk about it. My dad has all my like tennis trophies, like all around his desk. Yeah.

Yeah, because he's so proud. This reminds me of I've been doing this stand up bit where I'm talking about how there's no other bonding with your boyfriend's mom than when you both break the seal and realize you can talk shit about her son. There's nothing like it. The moment you start being like, does this work?

does he always and she's like yeah and it starts with a look it starts with a look where you're like yeah you both like he does something you both look and she's like and then you're like wait I love her yeah the best is when they're not like people try to make it like moms are always like he's mine no these moms will be like bitch I tried you could try it's not gonna work I hope I hope

He's better for you And then someone messaged me and they were like The thing with moms is they're like I'm forced to love him You chose it which makes you a dumb bitch And then when you Oh my god I once broke up with a guy And then I get a text like a week later from his mom Being like hey are you gonna come over For like our birthday celebration And I text him I said why is your mom texting me about this And he goes I'm afraid to tell her about the breakup I go stop Well I'm not telling her Stop it

I would have gladly told mom. And this is why. And I wish you the best of luck with him. I once had a boyfriend in high school. And honestly, what kept me in the relationship months longer than I should have was because his parents were fucking amazing and they loved me.

And I couldn't having another family and I couldn't. And he's the worst part of it. Oh, easily the worst part of it. And I couldn't bring that current boyfriend to my prom because he had a lacrosse game or something like a sectional lacrosse. Like it was a big one. He couldn't miss it for my prom.

And my boyfriend wanted me to bring one of his friends or something like someone he knew like wasn't going to like me. And I in my head was like, I'm not fucking doing that. And I was at his house one day and the mom pulled me into the kitchen by ourselves. And she said, hey, I just want to let you know something. This is your junior prom and I want you to find the best looking, most fun kid.

date that you can bring and i want you to go and have the best time ever and i was like oh my god and i literally brought this guy that i had a crush on for years i brought this guy that i had a crush on for years years years brought him to my prom next day broke up with my boyfriend and started dating this new guy and we dated for like four years it was my favorite ex-boyfriend he ended up i swear to god i've had a talk with a mom before and she was like blah blah blah blah

I get it like run no like save yourself and then they will still text me randomly like we both love cats or like we both like love the same team I used to golf with her or like she we both had a similar sense of humor she'll send me memes but I do have a theory that guys sometimes will like a girl who's similar to their moms absolutely and I've I've

I've dated a lot of guys who have moms who are similar than me. I've never dated a guy with like a quiet, meek kind of...

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash Giggly. Mother. Yeah, I've only I mean, I would say mine are definitely split where like I'm very similar to the mom or like the mom just straight up. I really only dated one guy where I knew the mom straight up did not like me.

And like I would always try and like get her to like me. And then one day I was just like, I don't like you, bitch. Like you're the problem, not me. And your son is a fucking psycho. So it's obviously your family, not mine. Okay. So let's leave it at that. I don't want you to like me.

It's not me, it's you. Honestly, if I ever saw that mom walking down the street, I would pull a Charlotte York and be like, I curse the day your son was born. Like, awful. The worst. I was thinking about, like, if I ever have a son one day, I'm literally putting him in feminist theory classes every day. I do think because...

Our generation, I feel like, has changed so many stigmas that our sons will just inherently be better men than like the men we deal with right now. For sure. Yeah, because all the old creepy ones are dying out. Right. And it's like, you don't touch a girl. Right.

Unless she said that you can touch her. Like that's a rule. People used to grow up literally being like, watch out boys. Just get like a little crazy. Like you don't want to tempt them instead of being like, Hey guys, don't just touch your girl's tit. Yeah. Unless you ask her and she says that's okay. Instead it's like girls don't wear spaghetti straps in school.

The men might just pull their dick out. What was that? Like the whole like boys will be boys. Like, does that mean you literally can just take your dick out whenever you want? Like I didn't never got that term. Even as a child, it used to annoy me. Like I'd be like, but what does that mean?

And people would just be like, boys will be boys. And I'm like, but what? I went to a public school where like the dress code was like no spaghetti straps and like you can't wear short shorts. And I was a tomboy. I walked in one day with like a baggy shirt and like tennis shorts, like from Adidas. Yeah. Let's say. And I got yelled at.

And I was like very upset. I was like, these are my tennis shorts. I'm going to practice after this. And they were like, they're too short. And they were not that short. And I remember feeling so weird. But it's like they literally were trying to sexualize it. Like I was like showing my thighs too high. How old were you? 11. 11.

That's like sixth grade going to practice. No, that's so uncomfy. Well, you wore uniforms, but they had this whole like, if you put your hands down, it has to be like past your fingers or something. And I had such long arms, so I'd have to pull my shoulders up.

I had such long arms. I was like, my skirt's going to be longer than everyone else's mom. Like, this is not fair. And your fingers are like as long as your arms. So I always rolled my skirt. I always got lunch detention because my skirt was too short and I stick by it. So anyway, we're rooting for Pete and Em. So long story short. Good luck, guys. So happy. I actually want to do a quick segment.

Like we always do this, but I wanted to organize it. This is a new thing. Gigglers basically saying I'm going to try calling it like, is it a vibe where we come up with like what's trending right now? If we really like it or not, like TikTok trends, what the hot girls are doing. Do we actually think it's legit? What's with the putting gold under your face and then the concealer over that?

Gold what? I haven't even seen this one. People literally are putting like gold highlighter. Like literal gold. It looks like gold cover up. Well, the only... I have not seen those TikToks yet, but the only thing I could think of is like...

Certain colors Like will color correct So maybe it helps If you have dark circles Under your eyes Cause you know how Like you can put green But they're putting it All over their face Then they're putting Their foundation And concealer over that It's like a prep Yes That is like shiny Yes Oh I think that's a vibe Yes

I'm annoyed. How many layers to the cake do we need? One. Two, it's kind of like, yeah, I think it's just so extra. It's too much. Also, I am oily skin, so it gets me scared that I'd look like a pizza. I just think it's like Tin Man-esque.

I have a Becca Cosmetics. It's like an illuminator and it's like a primer and it does make your skin a little bit like dewier so that when you do put your foundation on, it looks better. So let's agree to disagree on this one. I just think it's capitalism. I've wanted to use that TikTok sound so bad, like capitalism really popped off today, ladies, and showing something you bought.

okay capitalism is shaking um capitalism lives rent-free in my brain okay i have some a trend that i like okay oversized race car jackets okay okay i i agree um like a moto moto yes like a vintage leather moment i think that's a vibe too

Do you have one? Did you get one? No, but I think there's like a cheap one on Amazon. It's like 50 bucks. I was looking at. Get it. Try it out. See if you like it. I just feel like coats take up so much space in my closet. So I'm a little less like quick to buy. Don't even get me started because I...

cleared out my fucking coat closet and gave it to craig made it hannah made it so nice like suzy fucking homemaker i got two shoe racks put him on the bottom hung up all his shoes hung up every single article of clothing he had in my apartment you're too good to him put it in the closet organized it from shirts to long sleeves to button-ups to sweatshirts

Anywho, so I do this whole closet and I have nowhere for my coats. Do you remember when you were little and you just had one coat? It's like this is your winter coat. Oh, you never liked that. Oh, God, no. Actually, to this day, I have a winter coat. No, I...

have one winter coat yes for new york city like when it snows i do have like that one winter coat but no i could only show that i loved fashion when i was little through my coats going to school i wore so it has like match your outfit yeah so i'd be like what coat should i wear today and that was like my excitement

I do have to say when I moved into Des' apartment, he had like kind of a bigger closet and a tiny closet. And I came in, brought in my big dresser, took over the big closet, and now he just has the little closet. That's all they need. It's all they need. I mean, he's accumulated a lot of clothes. They also, they never throw away...

This is my college t-shirt. Finally, not to cause drama, but there's a parasite cleanse going around that's really grinding my gears. Okay. Tell me. There's this trend that people are like, I'm doing a parasite cleanse and I shat a worm. Why is that specifically pissing you off? Because you want to try it? It's pissing me off because if there was a real problem...

Like everyone should know about it. Why is it this like niche trend? And then you realize that it's just like people tricking you that like if you do this, you shit out a worm. But that worm is not the reason you're hungry all the time. It's probably natural to have that worm. And none of these girls after they shit the worm act differently. Excuse me. They're not like, oh my God, I'm a different person now. Miss who wanted to go get a colonic toothache.

two weeks ago and was like we should definitely go do that it's the same fucking thing it's the same thing you were like i want to go get a colonic because like i feel like i won't be as bloated my stomach won't hurt it's the same thing i want you to do a parasite cleanse please do it as girls are like i feel like i'm gonna die and i keep shitting out worms when does it start feeling better and then you keep checking their account and then it just they start posting outfits and i'm like what happened with the worm

I have a friend. I have a friend that did a parasite cleanse. This is probably like a couple years ago and like told all of our friends that she was doing it. I texted her on the side and I was like, hey, I want the picture of the worm. And she's like, you're so fucking disgusting because nobody else like wanted to see it. And I was like, no, I want to see what the fuck comes out of you. It was disgusting. She sent me a picture of it.

Okay, but my question is, did she feel better after and for how long? I don't know. This was years ago. Like if something changed my fucking life, I would be yelling it from the rooftops. I would literally go on CNN and be like, everyone needs to do this. I wouldn't be like a niche TikTok trend. I just think capitalism at its finest. Gosh darn capitalism at it again. I think that there's like a spectrum. I think that yes, everybody has parasites in their large intestines. That's just like,

Yeah, you eat shit all day long that is contaminated. Some of them are probably healthy because they eat other bad things that are inside of you. But I think sometimes it gets to a point where you have to get them out. Sorry, I was just laughing. I thought about the quote, I got 99 problems, but parasite ain't one. I think we should do a parasite cleanse. I have so many problems and parasites are the least of them. Yeah, you eat one thing and then your stomach gets bloated. That's not normal.

But like, it's normal to me. Okay. Also, I feel like, why aren't doctors recommending this? Because it's like... Naturopathic? Yeah, it's like Eastern medicine, I feel like. Right? We're Western. Okay, well, add it to the list of stuff I need to fucking...

Do the just you know what? This is why the patriarchy is still in power. Because men are living in the moment. Yeah. Taking photos with them. And we're fucking causing ourselves to shit worms. We're like, do you think that's too many worms in my large intestine? Maybe that's the problem.

Like, why aren't men doing parasite cleanse? Why hasn't one man done a parasite cleanse on TikTok? Literally. We all just lay in bed and we're like, maybe it's time to deworm. I don't know. Maybe that's my issue. I think this is like classic. Like your life is not going that well. And you're like, this will fix everything. I get in that mood all the time. If I shit out a worm, everything's going to change for me.

That's like what I do with like my therapist. I'm like, my life is in shambles. Do you think this hour will fix it? She's like, it's not how it works, but I'll listen to you.

Okay, I'll do it. I'll do it, but I'm only doing it with you. I'm not leaving myself alone with the wolves. You're not leaving me for dead with these worms. Easy. I think it's like we take vitamins for seven days. We can do that. Well, we never take our birth control, but we can try and do that. I'll do that, though. I'll remember that. Who do you think will shit out a bigger worm? I don't know, but I'm so down to do this with you.

We have to like place a bet. We'll have the gigglers place bets. I've always wanted to deworm myself. I really have. I've thought about it. But what if it's like you need those worms to have the right balance of bacteria? Okay, so that's what my mom says. She's like, you want to do so much to your body that you're going to end up making yourself sick. You want to, but I want to try it.

She's the reason that I didn't go get a colonic because she was like, you're going to fuck yourself up. That's what my mom said, too. She goes, no one needs a colonic. It's a rip off. But that's like girls having a seven time step nighttime skincare routine while men are just washing their face with dirt, poop water. And they have the most gorgeous, flawless, no poor skin I've ever seen. Craig asked me a legitimate question the other week and said, how do you wash your face in the sink?

I said, get out of my room. He's like, no, seriously, do all girls just know how to wash their face in the sink? How do you not get the water all over? And I just, I didn't say, I couldn't say anything because I didn't know what to say.

Oh my God, you should do this with Craig. There's a trend going around where you ask your boyfriend on TikTok if he washes his butt in the shower. Craig would get so mad at me if I asked that. And apparently most... They don't. They don't. Most guys say no. Most guys say no. And most people... Do you use a washcloth in the shower? No. See, I do. But I get right in there. I'm always in there. Like, I have a great...

I think though, because I'm shaving everything all the time. I'm in there. I'm up there. I'm in there. It's also like you're wiping your vagina. Like why would you not go to right next door? You know? I mean, yeah, because it's you flow. You have to start with the vagina. And that I learned from my UTI days. You don't go from the butt to the vagina. You go from vagina to butt. Never. You never go the other way. That's a UTI you're going to have then. You're giving yourself a UTI. Yeah.

Do you know how often people message me tips for not getting a UTI to send to you? I get messages, hi, UTI queen. And I'm just like, how did that? That's what you point? Is that in your shirt? Would people wear a shirt that says UTI queen? No. I would wear it to bed. I totally would. Maybe remind you to pee. There are certain things that you buy every single summer. Sandals, sunscreen, snacks, clothes.

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terms and conditions apply oh god anywho wait before we end um or like go into i'm sure you have some documentaries netflix from scratch do yourself a fucking favor hannah i need i mean but you talk shit about it initially take it back did i apologize and take it back at the live show you said i'm two up you said i'm two episodes in and i could do without it

How dare you? Live show page is a different version. Okay. I'm on my Justin Bieber shit when I'm upstage. The adrenaline is pumping so much you don't even know what you're saying. Because two episodes in I was like, what? Yeah, I can predict the end. Obviously this is going to happen. I already know. I'm not, I'm not getting super sad.

And then something just like takes over your body and it's Zoe Saldana's acting. And you're just like, what's happening? Look, I can't explain it to you like how I really feel. Like I don't have the words. I don't cry specifically at movies or television shows really ever because I know that it's fake. I know that I'm watching something on TV. So I don't really get that emotionally invested.

I also know that I like to have a good cry, but recently I can't get myself to that point to have like a sobbing cry.

So I'm watching this show. I started on an airplane. I get to Charleston. Craig's not home. I watched the entire season. When I tell you, I'm making noises. I'm not crying like my ears, like my eyes are. No, I'm I had to get up. I started coughing. I had to pause it. I had to go into the kitchen, get a drink and remind myself that this is not me. I don't live like.

there like that's not look in the mirror and cry and be like oh my god my lips look so pretty right now okay i did have to pee so i like naturally glanced at myself and i was like oh my god i do love my lips when i cry

They do. They get plastic surgery. Ladies just sob. They get so swollen and so pinky red. I'm like, this is a stunning shade. I wish I could bottle it. My mom also said you were texting her about it. I told every Italian I know because it's about an Italian family. I said, who else can I tell Nana? Nana. She goes, she goes, Paige texted me a whole paragraph. I go, she's never texted me a paragraph ever.

ever I was like Mrs. Berner please watch the show it's about an Italian family you're gonna love it your mom was like done and done already watched it

I told my mom. She was like, old news. Watched it. Cried the whole time. This is my thing. I'm a highly sensitive individual. Okay. So I can't even watch violence in movies. I can't even watch a guy sprain an ankle on a basketball court. I get nauseous. Grow up. I went to a funeral two days ago for someone who I didn't know. And I sobbed the entire time.

okay i've had never met this person i've had like fam it's hard for me i have to be really overwhelmed to cry like i've had family members die and i was hugging the children i was sobbing i was singing songs with the family like and they're like this person how do you know literally ruined my life like my life was over hannah how do you know the deceased you're like i i

Oh my god, funeral crashers? You go to funerals just to feel something? Oh my god, do we pitch that as a show? No, I need you to watch this show. Because you do feel better after. I don't want to listen to sad music when I'm sad. I kind of am like, I don't want to be sad.

No, I want you to though. I'm this close to crying at all times. I don't need to do it. I need you to watch this with me. But you said it was, you felt better after. Well, I felt like Craig doesn't really love me. That's for sure. Because like the love between this couple was like unreal. And like you just wanted their life to be perfect. And it's,

just so much was thrown at them and i will cry thinking about it it is the one of the best shows ever the problem with only watching disturbing documentaries is you just watch all these men do so many horrific horrible things and it always starts fine it's always like sally and jim were great together and then you're like you just start questioning everyone in your life and you're like am i does this like cutting a sandwich with a knife and i'm like this is how it starts this is how it starts

Craig sleeps with a knife by his bed. No. It's a whole thing. But the other night he was asleep and I reached over to him to get the cell phone charger and I accidentally... No, sorry. I reached over to get the remote and I grabbed a knife and I literally was like, what is my TMZ headline saying? Get stabbed? Wait, did something happen to him as a child? Yes.

No, he's just like paranoid like me too. Like we have an alarm system, but like he also has like a knife and then there's like a bat like in the hallway. Like I'm like that too. I just, I haven't escalated to like sleeping with a knife. I wouldn't know what to do with that. I kind of want to get curtain bangs. Someone comes to kidnap me in my room. I'm like, do you want charcuterie before we go? What?

You also have tapes your own mouth. Like you've kidnapped yourself at that point. Someone came in my bed in the middle of the night. They would think that I kidnapped myself. They're like, she's gagged and like bound. You know that you don't have to lock your door when your apartment's so messy that when someone opens it up, they go, someone's been here already and they shut it in.

If you just look like your place has been already ransacked, nobody will rob it. I look like someone killed me and then left. Like, that's what I look like. I'm two steps to being rolled up into a rug and just thrown out on the side. That's so graphic. My dad was like, oh, I hope you get kidnapped. They'll pay me to bring you back. Classic dad. Classic dad. Dads.com.

classic actually i did apparently when apparently when i was little i said i was gonna run away from home actually my dad did this i did something similar but he escaped from home but he stayed at the corner because he's not allowed to cross the street smart man

I never ran away from home because I was like too much work too much effort but I want a juice box I'll be on the couch you know where the food is you're not I'll be pouting in the corner but just know that I'm mad and yeah I will take that cheese stick thank you yeah you're like next door neighbor does not make pasta like Kim so we're just gonna have to I hated going to other people's houses I'm like I'm gonna run away and go to her house I don't think so I'll keep my ass home

Oh, one more thing. A giggler messaged me. We basically get all our news from the gigglers. Yeah. I've single-handedly taken down the Zara makeup department in the Zara location in Soho. It's officially closed. The door was shut. It said...

So the manager does listen to Giggs. But two weeks ago, I said, what's going on with the makeup area of Zara that no one cares about? I'm basically Kylie tweeting about Snapchat at this point. Wait, I love that. That's hilarious. They've blocked off the door and they said, we don't, no one come in here. Don't subscribe to this. Wow. Very interesting. The power you hold in the beauty industry is it's really unmatched.

Okay, I have one final documentary before we leave you guys. Oh my God, you've been saying this every time you say something. You say, this is the last thing. God Forbid is the name of the documentary. Oh, this is about the Episcopalians?

Okay, so it starts off with a sex scandal of a very powerful man in the church. Okay. He is the president of... What church? Liberty College. Liberty College. They are the evangelists. Okay. And...

It starts with this like cute Cuban guy who works at a fountain blue and at the rooftop bar. And he said an older woman invited him back to her hotel room and said, the only caveat is can my husband watch? And he was like, this sounds like a fun story.

They start hanging out more. It turns out the husband is this really powerful man. He, like, buys him a property in Miami to manage, like, gets him, like, financially intertwined with them. Then the wife starts, like, texting him all the time, like, this emotional relationship. And he's not getting paid. Like, he's not escort. Like, they've created this, like, weird threesome-type relationship together. They're in a throuple. Kind of, except it's a secret. Okay. Yeah.

Long story short, this guy apparently is a huge, apparently is a huge part of Trump getting elected. Like he got all of the, what are they called? Evangelists. Evangelists to vote for him because he got them like really. I want to say evangelista, but that's like a super motto. I know, so do I. Why is that such a hard word to say? Evangelists. And I don't really know a lot about the evangelistas, but evangelists.

The evangelista is like a famous supermodel's last name. I think her name is Linda. I know, Linda. Yeah. I think she had problems with the cold fat thing. Oh, yeah. Another thing my mom was like, see, I told you not to do that. Look at her. I'm like, oh, Jesus. My mom, too. She was like, never get this procedure. See? You can't just freeze it away.

You gotta go to the gym and do your 30, 15, 3. This documentary is crazy because it starts with a sex scandal and then it basically takes down all of American politics because...

Religion and abortion wasn't actually like abortions are really talked about in the Bible, apparently. But the Republicans found out that like they tried to go against gay marriages and people weren't really about it. They're trying to be like into segregation. People were kind of like, we're not really into that. They finally got the abortion topic and the religious people were like, OK, I believe that like it's murder. And they just leaned in like to help get votes.

So this guy basically says, Trump, I got all the evangelists to back you. He gave him tons and tons and tons of money. And this guy, this kid starts realizing that this guy is fucking him over and he gets exposed and he like loses. Long story short. I mean, the longest story you've ever told. Really complicated. We're not watching it. We just watched it.

This guy, he basically gets the main head guy exposed. And the guy tried to blame it on his wife and be like, I wasn't involved. My wife was just cheating on me. I want to still be the president of the college. But there was a FaceTime that showed the guy was there and knew all about it. So he gets out and then he in Trump's next president, he doesn't sponsor him.

because he's not in that place of power anymore and Trump loses the election and it kind of shows how it all was connected. And that's capitalism, ladies and gentlemen. And that's capitalism for you folks. And that is Poli Sci 101 with Hannah Burner and Paige DeSorbo. Thank you for getting with us. Check Instagram.

Actually, GigglySquad.com. Giggly-Squad.com to get our live show dates. We're coming to Sydney or you. And if your city's not listed yet, it will be coming. But bother us on Instagram. We'll add it. Paige, anything else? No, I think you covered it all. Bye.