Giggling with Reality Gays about blow job tips, narcissism, and feet finder
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I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, you guys? This is a very special episode of Giggly Squad. We're going to have more giggles than usual because we have our first ever guests. We have Jake and Matt, who are two southern queens from the podcast Reality Gaze, who happen to be...

Psychological psychologist Matt is and Jake is a life coach and a teacher. So we need them in our lives. Welcome to Giggly Squad. Welcome to the squad. Oh my, I feel like we need applause. That was the most amazing introduction. Like this is why she gets paid the big bucks. Like that was flawless. I'm like, who? I was like, oh my God, is she going to stumble on her words? Who are you introducing? Because it's just, I'm sitting here in what looks like a bunk bed.

In his office. In my office. In my small, ridiculous apartment in Los Angeles. Thank y'all for having us. I'm Maddie, just so people know my voice. I'm Maddie. And that other screeching queen is Poodle, a.k.a. Jake. And the parrot that's screeching at you is Jake. So Jake, we call Poodle. What would you guys call Paige? Because we call her, I'll tell you what I call her. In Giggly Squad, we call her Cricket because we think she's a body type of a cricket.

Do you rub your legs together in sound-a-mits? Yes, only on special nights. I think Cricket's good. I like it. It's cute. I love Cricket. I feel like someone had given me that name as an insult, and so you know what I did? Took that right around and turned it into a compliment because I feel like Crickets have long, lean legs, and I was like, did you just call me skinny? Yeah.

Crickets are the like top models. They're the supermodels of the insect world. We could call you, and this isn't a not skinny thing. We could call you elephant because on this show, you remember everything. That is the truth. You're

You bring back receipts. That is, you're right. That is not a skinny compliment, but I will take it for the brain power. Y'all originally friends before, or was it just an immediate connection? I know people have already asked you this, but I haven't heard this, but I'm interested. I know it's your show. So we had met before because we worked for the same company, but Hannah worked like in the office. So I would only come in randomly. Oh, okay. And-

I told my mom this from the very beginning. When I first walked into the office, I was so nervous and I saw Hannah and it just... I had this weird feeling with her. Like, you know when you see a friend from high school that you haven't seen for so long and it's just like normal and you pick up and you're like, hey, what's up? That's the exact feeling I felt when I met Hannah. But we had never really hung out...

outside in like the wild or like gone to dinner or anything and then when we lived together we realized we were sharing a room and like from the first second we walked into our bedroom we looked at each other and we were just like we're best friends right and like from then on it was just like it was but it's such interesting friendship I think because if people look at us just on the outside they wouldn't immediately be like duh yeah you're very different

We're different, but I think we really have the same sense of humor and we were able to get through so many ups and downs together by just like making each other laugh. And like when I impress Paige with my fashion, like I put on these nails and she loves them. Like I can't express how happy that makes me. And then when I see Paige like do something like kind of sporty, it like really warms my heart.

You know, I understand. Actually, she's never done anything sporty. I take that back. We all got silent. We were like, what are you talking about? Yeah, when you said that, I was like, oh my God, what did I do? It's like when I wear a new shirt and Jake looks at me and says, you look less fat. I feel happy. Yeah.

Or I'll say something like, it suits your frame well. You know, you fill it out well. And I think it's also friendship is like, you guys have to realize what you both don't give a shit about. Yes. And Hannah and I don't give a shit about literally anything. So that's really what bonded us two. It's true. You know when there's that one high-maintenance friend that you're like, I could like you if you went to fucking all over my shit all the time. Where Paige and I, we just never put pressure on each other. We have this thing where like,

We let each other cancel plans. And like no friend lets you do that. But I'll be like, girl, I canceled last time. Stay home. Do it. This was pre-pandemic. And we just we don't give each other pressure for anything. And I think that's important. Yeah. But the shot of dopamine that happens when someone cancels plans. Holy God. One time I had invited Hannah to something and I texted her like an hour before we were supposed to go. And I was like, look.

I know I invited you to this, but if I were you, I would not show up. Like I have to go. But like, if I were you, there's no way I'm going to it. And she goes, wow, thank you so much. I'm not coming. And I was like, that's when you know, you got a real one on your hands. Yeah. My boyfriend sent that for me. The fact that you guys are like clinical, it's like the fact that you're smarter than us and we love mental health. We love mental health moments on this podcast. Oh yeah. So,

We get a lot of advice. So why don't we start off with answering some advice because I'd love to see what the professionals have to say. Sure, sure. The first question, do I need a clit sucker vibrator? Okay. Ironically. We know something about this.

We know a lot. So we call our listeners, they call themselves sissies. Like sissies. Like you were called little sissy boys when we were younger. Because we were called sissies in the South, and now we're reclaiming that shit. And we're taking it back. Got it. Like Paige did. Taking it back. I'm a sissy who sucks a mean dick, and you're going to like it. Sissies in a dick tree. Just shake that dick tree. Shake that dick tree. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. But, so...

I know about this because most of our listeners are women. I would say based off the women who have responded, we have whole Facebook and Twitter threads about this. Sex toys. Vibrators. Yeah.

Get the click sucker because everyone says it's worth it. I obviously, I've never tried one on my man pussy, but I will say that our listeners freak out about it. I don't ever want to hear you lisp click sucker again in my life ever.

It made me feel disgusting. That's the sound of a click getting sucked. That's what it sounds like. It's true. But yeah, I say get that clit sucker. I think you'll be better off for it. Ain't nothing wrong with getting yours. And however you can get it. As long as it doesn't hurt anybody. Google just ordered a fuck machine. I need a fuck machine. Like,

That's what I call my boyfriend. Here's the thing about sex toys as a girl. Sometimes I get really nervous because I'm like, what is the point of a boyfriend now? There's literally nothing in my life that I need one for. But to all the guys who get nervous about like, oh, she's going to replace me. They should. Get a fucking boyfriend.

Fucking personality, bro. Learn how to form a fucking sentence and stop cheating. That's what I say. I totally agree with you. And I know dating is hard, especially for women in New York, because there's just it's just fuckboys everywhere. And it's hard just to get them because living in New York is kind of like living in L.A. in a different kind of way. Everyone's got kind of like some log line to sell you about their life.

and they're trying to, but it's sometimes easier just to go home, watch porn, jerk it, get your sex toy, you're done for the night, you can go watch some, you can go, you know, watch some Lifetime. - See Mariska Hargitay be a badass.

And feel empowered. But, you know, Jake says, Poodle says, because he, again, is from South Carolina. And we've talked, we recapped Southern Charm. So we've been doing that show for three years. But he said, what about that show? And I think this is true for New York. I feel like a lot of New York guys have Peter Panson. Because everything's out there. They never want to grow up, ever. I love that it's like they've been studying the male species of New York City. And we're like, yep.

This is our life. But also one more thing to say about clit suckers. Clit suckers. I think that the worst thing ever is when a guy's going down on you and like people romanticize a guy going down on you. Like, oh, go down on me. It's going to be amazing. Sometimes it's like way worse than any, like, first of all, he's in my labia lips and I'm like, I don't, it's too personal for me. And then he doesn't even do it. Yes.

Yes. Yes. He's a doctor. He does. They don't know what I'm doing. I mean, no one knows what's happening. So I prefer control on your own. You know exactly how you orgasm. And it feels like a guy knows what he's doing. I mean, as as someone who doesn't go towards that territory, I've done it before and I didn't know what I was doing. I definitely needed some type of sensei.

to tell me because it's like an undiscovered country there's this there's this over here it's like a carnival there's so much going on I didn't realize it had as many holes as our listeners had to tell me sorry go ahead now that we're in it

Can you give us some amazing blowjob tips? Now you've come to the right people. Let me put my blindfold on so I feel like I'm where I need to be. Poodle, I'll let you go first. I would say, yes, the mouth is quite important.

Two things. Don't ignore the use of your hands to cut balls or the hands to kind of, kind of like, like you're, like you're on a pottery wheel kind of, you know, you're spinning that around. Like you're Demi Moore in Ghost. Yeah. You're ghosting. Yeah.

- Yeah, so you're not squeezing. - No, you're not squeezing. You're kind of, you're shifting things around. - Oh God, you're not poking, you're not poking. - No, I would say think bigger picture. - Think long term. - Yeah, think long term.

- Well, I think it's also- - And come up for air. - Come up for air, mix it up. You know, men, if you're like us, for your four straight men who listen to your show, maybe you have more than us, the best thing you can do to get a good blow job is to take care of your shit.

Trim it, clean it, wash it, put a body scrub on it, a good sugar scrub. I mean, whatever. So that's for men. But for women or men who are partaking of the penis, I would say, again, like Poodle, definitely don't forget the balls and don't forget the taint. You know, like you do a little massage down there. That's in between the balls. I mean, the butt and the balls. Taint your butt, taint your balls.

There's also a little bit of like, you know, you can do things like you can have your mouth around the penis, but you don't have to like be sucking it. You could be breathing around it. You could be flicking it with your tongue a little bit. Also, because it's just a thing with guys. I'm telling you. - I know that Paige is just leaning in for this. - Paige literally just grabbed popcorn from off the screen and it's just leaning in, y'all. - It's Sheryl Sandberg leaning in.

My turtleneck just got really hot. I was like, oh my God, what do I, should I be writing this down? No, that's fine. And then I will just say, looking up at them. The best. Yeah, I think that's my signature move. And y'all, I don't even care if you're sucking a three inch dick. If you tell a guy, if you start talking about how amazing their dick is.

They're going to come in a minute. This is my problem. How many times can I say, like, your dick is so big. Your dick's so big. It's so good. It's so hard. Well, we all know it's not. We all know it's not. I don't have so many words to use. There's just so many synonyms for big. It's so smooth.

- Its texture is quite appealing. - Grande. - I understand, I'm more of a keep it realer than that. And I'm less of a, oh my God. - You say above average. - Yeah, or I'll say, or I'll come up with things like this tastes good or I approve or think or... - You know what? - I'm less of a talker. I've actually, one time a guy wouldn't shut his fucking mouth

when he was on top of me and he was like, "I want to look." And I went, "Yeah, we're going to put this over your mouth. I can't hear anymore."

I feel like, too, if you don't know how to talk about the dick size, and maybe this is just because I've slept, Poodle and I have slept the gamut. We're like the, our assholes are like a small world. Every country's been in there. Okay? But a lot of men like hearing about how much of a man they are. Yeah, you can't use the word cute. I learned that. No. No.

- No, no, no. - Cute little penis, no thank you. - No, like they still like the word stud. - Okay. - I know that sounds horrible. A hunk, like all those things that are like these gross 80s masculine words. - No one says hunk. No, I will veto that one. - You know what?

Power Ranger. Yeah. Yeah. I have an embarrassing story. You're my Superman. Whatever. Stallion. That's a good one. I was about to, you know, mom, I'm so sorry about this. I was about to give this guy head one time, and I was pleasantly surprised with what I saw. And I said, wow. Like, good for you. You know? Like, good for you.

you you're out here on the streets and this is what you're working with I'm happy for you he was so offended yeah brought it up again the next day and was like could you have been any more surprised and I was like I was giving you a compliment I didn't know that's what you were working with like your personality didn't show me that that's his shit Paige that's his shit yeah talk about it with your therapist and that is our mental health moment yes am I right

right that's your shit his own shit that's your shit that further

No, I'm just saying that is when you hear someone and you're like, but why? But why? And they can't explain it to you. And then you're saying, but I meant this. And you're trying to, you're trying your best to explain and they're just shutting you down everywhere. And then you, this bolt from the blue hits you and goes, oh, that's their shit, not mine. This isn't about me. It's a wonderful thing to realize. 99% of the time when someone's upset at you,

It's not about y'all. It's like all the trolls in my DMs. That's so true. Or even what happens on your show. We see it. We see like I remember watching the episode where like Kyle, the whole Giggly Squad thing, Kyle freaked out about you on the table. It was all about his shit with this wedding. It had nothing to do with both of you. Okay, so next question. That was just our first advice question that we let go on a journey with.

This girl said she's been facing a lot of rejection lately. What's your advice on how to move past it, especially when you have a couple rejections in a row? Oh, I can take this. Go for it. So...

First of all, when you're dealing with rejection, I would say one of the best things you can do, my cousin's kind of dealing with this right now, give yourself a lot of times you can deal with it. So instead of wallowing, like maybe, of course, when it first happens, give yourself a couple of days where you're just like watching fucking whatever on Netflix for two days. But then after that, tell yourself, okay, Matt,

you've got an hour, an hour today from three to four, I can wallow in this and feel terrible about myself. But then at four o'clock, I've got to get my ass up. I've got to do the things I normally do. I've got to make plans for myself because everybody needs to wake up. We always eat. And I think we realize this in this pandemic. I truly believe everybody needs something to look forward to every day. Whatever that is, even if it's just like you want to make a great peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

whatever. It needs to be something to look forward to. So that's my first advice. And the rejection is, um, cause when you're thinking about so much of why, why, why only let yourself do that for limited amounts of time. Yeah. Paige, why don't you tell them what your mom tells you when you get rejected since high school? If a guy has not liked me and I say like, mom, this guy broke up with me or I don't think he likes me. She goes, Paige,

It's okay because he's gay and he just doesn't like girls, but that's fine. You can't satisfy him. I love that. And so from now on, if I ever get rejected, I'm just like, should we go shopping and become best friends? Because obviously...

You don't like women. It's okay. I think we'd be better friends. I think that is extremely healthy. Yeah. That's very healthy. I would just say to add to that, I love that idea of needing to wallow. Knowing that someone rejecting you has nothing to do with your internal value.

And that rejection, yes, it was them assessing. Number one, you don't even know what someone's thinking. You never really do. But it's them assessing that you're not right for them. And I've actually had to say to people, I'm usually the rejector, seemingly, unfortunately, in my life. But I've had to say, you know, this is, I just don't think we're a good match.

And even when that's been said to me, it's hard to hear. But at the same time, I'm thinking, yes, that's what happens. They were evaluating kind of my qualities with their qualities and in a very unemotional way saying, yep, doesn't compute.

in this way. Yeah. It doesn't mean that like they're better. People aren't, even when you leave someone to be with someone else, it's finding that right fit. I'm very into like the universe has a path for us and you can try to go off it, but like things will happen to kind of push you back in it and you could fight it and you could go that other path and it will suck.

So when someone rejects me or a job rejects me, I think like, oh, I can't wait. What other door is actually supposed to open for me? Because you ever know those guys that you're like, thank God I moved past that. Or I would have been stuck with that for five years. Wouldn't have met that person. Wouldn't have got that job. So I take rejection as like a guidance. It's a gift. If Poodle and I, if Jake and I had done what we wanted to originally do, we would both be living in the South. We'd be very obese and we'd be church organ directors. And I would be a part-time florist.

Yeah. And we'd love our wife, Candy, and how we do crafts together. My wife, Wanda, my favorite person in the world. We love to watch Love Actually every week. Every week. That's hilarious. Okay, final advice question. Should I message my ex on his birthday tomorrow? How good do you look? Oh.

And what are you sending? Do your boobs look good? Yeah. Or what do you – is the message just a text that says – I guess she'd say happy birthday. Yeah. I think for me it's what is your hope in doing that? I'm really big about what's your hope. I even asked y'all before we did this, like what's your hope in doing this? What's your hope in doing that? Was it –

And what will that serve for you? Right. Because I think a lot of times, especially women in our culture in the United States, you know, it's something I love about both of you. I think why I connected to y'all is – and it was –

You can tell you're from the north where we grew up in the south because women where we're from often are trained much more to be docile and subservient to men. Like the kind of girl that Jordan wants. Yeah, nice and sweet girl. Oh, my God. We're cutthroat. We're like JWoww cutthroat. I love it. I know. But you're confident. You're confident.

You're confident and you can tell. And again, I remember when I did teach summer camp and there was a lot of girls from even young girls from New York were like, wow, there's so much more confident than I think women are kind of conditioned to be where we're from. So I think for for I think it's definitely like you can trust yourself and know that.

If you're messaging this person, are you messaging just to say hi or are you giving them your cell phone? Right. And you're looking for some kind of approval back from them. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so not into dipping into the X pond ever. So, right. It's like –

What do I want that little piece of attention that potentially to do the same fucking thing I already did? I think it's a beautiful thing to just like move forward and go cold turkey with anyone in your past. You give it a try. There's so much dick out there. There's so much dick y'all. Tons. If he messaged me for my birthday, then I will reciprocate.

That's fair. Yeah. And then I sleep with them. That's fair. Well, I'm just going to say Paige is a little more forgiving with exes than I am. If I'm going to message an ex for their birthday, it's not because I want to get back together with them. It's more I want them to realize like I'm an adult and I'm mature and we can have this like cordial friendship. If I still love that ex and want to get back together with them, I'm not messaging them for their birthday. Exactly. Exactly.

See my thing is I don't I have guy friends like I don't need to message an ex to be like So I know we got along like like you're someone in my life No, I have guy friends who are actually guy friends. I've never had sex with and when I dated someone I'd normally is pretty emotional so like just stay out of that place I don't know. I'm very very anti-ex. I like to go back at least four or five times You know what?

You're kind of like poodle in that respect. Yeah, I kind of like to keep dipping into that way Which is ironic because we both have had the conversation I've said, you know, you're like Hannah and I'm totally Paige and he's like, yes. Yeah, but in a certain way We're just we're in different ways. Yeah I'm not trying to like up my body count. So let's like let's recycle here, you know, I

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You nailed it. Let's recycle. You're thinking about your carbon footprint, honey. I get you. Reduce, reuse, recycle. Oh, fuck it. I've already got HPV at this point. Let's just do it. We all do. I know. We all do. That's the thing. Y'all got HPV out there. If you don't, you're a fucking loser. If you haven't had gonorrhea once, you haven't lived. Also,

chlamydia and it's not as bad as the media makes it think. Raising awareness for chlamydia. It's a little tiny pill.

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I honestly, I don't even ever need my notes like the past couple weeks because everything has been so in your face and I'm up on it all. Okay. Elizabeth Chambers. Obviously, we'll talk about the Armie Hammer stuff because I'd love to know your take on it. Elizabeth Chambers has been posting on Instagram now. She was saging her house and she posted like, how much sage? Is this too much sage? Asking for a friend. So she's like laughing about it kind of. Oh.

I mean, she put out a statement. She's having a sense of humor. Saying like, I didn't realize how much I didn't know. I support any victim of assault or abuse and urge anyone who has experienced this pain to seek the help she or he needs to hear or heal. So she's basically hinting that he's never shown an inkling of that side to him to her. Here's the thing. She has to say that. She has to say that. Wow. I think it's crazy that like,

We're just we're not even addressing that he's also cheated on her for all of these years. We're like, yeah, no, it's like that's abusive. And he cheated on you. Yeah. But he's also a cannibal. Like we're focusing on the cannibal thing, which like rightfully so, because that's absolutely right. But no one has brought up at all that he's just cheated on her. Yeah. Marriage.

It was, it's totally like, I just see him as just this like serial cheater. Like that's what I, and cause you, you'd heard about that. The cannibalism stuff. I was kind of like, he was like, yeah, you know, it kind of got, it just got too kinky. You know, when I was talking, I'm like, I gotten kinky too, but I've never told someone I wanted to eat their heart. Yeah.

You know, you're a fucking freaky deaky and I'll go there with you. But I just I'm just trying to figure out if someone sent me that message. I'm like, I was like, oh, good God. I need to I need to this. I'm a block this shit. But when it's Armie Hammer, you're like.

Oh, I guess I should be into it. Well, you know, I did. This is name drop, but I was because we live in Los Angeles. And so I was once we used to live by Larchmont. And I remember I was eating and he was like three tables down from me. And he is like ridiculously gorgeous. He's ridiculously gorgeous. He's tall. Y'all as Poodle says, Poodle has the gift of BDF. Big dick face. I can tell you it's huge. It's a nice penis.

So, but he kind of has, he does have this star power a little, and I've seen a lot of celebrities and others. I'm like, wow, you seem so normal yet. But with him, you're like, Oh, I get it. But now I wonder if that's not a star power I noticed, but like predatory people that are so narcissistic and kind of is, it's like that. Cause I also believe probably you do too, Hannah, since you believe in universe, I believe in energy. And it's like, so it's that energy I'm reading and, and,

And my old codependent self is like, oh, big energy. That means I should love you instead of that's narcissism. He's a user who dates. I date narcissists in the past. And it's my boyfriend, current boyfriend. So it's my favorite word to use. He's like, but it's true because once you realize it, it's like Marilyn Manson.

Oh, yes. He's so charming, larger than life. When you're around them, they make you feel like you're so lucky to be with them. They give you those little bits of attention. And then you realize, like, this is a sick, like manipulative spiral I'm in. And you're actually a fucking loser. The flip side, the flip side of charming, charming and really, really is predatory.

And it flips like that really quickly. Wow. That was a good one. That was a really good one. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut. That was good. But it is. We're going to have a merch soon with a blind squirrel with a nut in its mouth. I love that. I love that. But no, seriously, it's something that I, in my 20s and even my early 30s, where I fell for predatory people.

who wanted to take my energy. And just like, I could feel them sucking away at it. A therapist once referred to that to me as energy vampires. Totally, totally. That's exactly what it is. And I was just like, oh my God. They said if you feel more tired,

after hanging out with someone and the person isn't giving you energy, it is them taking your energy. Those friends are just fucking exhausting after those guys who you were like, well, that conversation was brutal.

Sometimes it's not. And it's not even relationships. Do you know how many times I was a fucking man of honor at one of my friend's wedding who just was a bridezilla and I did everything. And it wasn't until I spent like thousands of dollars at this location wedding. It was like a nap in a vineyard. And all she gave me was a T-shirt and a baseball cap as a thank you gift. And I went, what am I doing with my life?

Yeah. Yeah. Just those kind of people. So I want to say for a lot of your listeners, it's not just relationships of like significant others. It's the relationship sometimes with our friends. I hope Elizabeth kind of realizes in the next two years that she's probably got a lot of trauma and she needs to work through what she's. I feel bad. Oh, for sure. Me too. For sure. Okay. Our next story. Shailene Woodley is dating Aaron Rodgers.

How do we feel about that as a couple? I did not know that one, but interesting. As long as she doesn't have the same haircut that she had on Big Little Lies this past season, we'll be fine. Right? I love Big Little Lies. I didn't really love the last season, though. I was super excited for Meryl Streep to be on it, but I just didn't...

I don't know. The role wasn't exactly right for her. Right. She tried to make it what she did, and she did have some great lines, but it was less drag queen than she wanted. You know, it was less...

I have a lot of opinions on Aaron Rodgers. Oh, wow. Someone who went to school in Wisconsin. He's a Packer. Go Badgers. He's a Packer. And I was looking on my phone at the eight. So Shailene is 29 and he's like 37. So he conveniently goes from, you know, Olivia Wilde to the last X. No, Olivia Munn. Sorry, Olivia Munn. And then to the race car driver. Danica Patrick. Yes. I don't do words. This is why I'm here. Same. Same. Same, Hannah. Okay.

I do what Paige does to you for Matt. So, yeah. Hannah will sometimes be like, hey, you know that song? It goes, do, do, do. And I'm like, yep. You're like, yeah, that's Grenade by Bruno Mars. Yeah, yeah. I was like, once I told Jake, I said, who's that actress who always plays bitchy blonde roles? And he said, that's a terrible description. And I know who you're talking about.

I was like, Missy Pyle. It's Missy Pyle. It's Missy Pyle. Anyway, sorry. Go ahead, Anna. Go ahead. Okay. Allegedly, Aaron Rodgers, there's a lot of drama because, you know, his brother was on The Bachelor and he wouldn't get involved in it because the families don't talk anymore. And then there's always the, like, beard comments that, like, all these girls are, like, a lot that he was, like, dating his assistant. And there's something about him I don't trust. Yeah.

Okay. What you're rating now, I have...

In the gay world, there are quite a lot of comments about Aaron Rodgers. And the assistant and he have been close for about over 10 years. And it's this very, very... And he's denied everything about it, of course. But yeah, if you look at the women he's chosen, they all have quite beard potential. What makes a beard potential? It is they're kind of right in the middle.

you know, sometimes or they're trying to get to the next level of fandom or and they seem kind of harm, they kind of seem harmless. What's her name? Katie Holmes is the ultimate, Katie Holmes. back then was the ultimate beard because she was trying to get to a different step in her career. She's lovely and she probably at that point she seems harmless enough.

- Do they know they're good beards? Like is there agent calling like, "Hey, you'd be perfect for this." - I'm sure there's a beard vetter out there. - I think that's happened. I think probably- - For sure. - I think in this, like obviously in the fifties and sixties, like Cary Grant and all these people that were obviously- - I got you the perfect beard, Mr. McClung. - Yeah, I got you.

I got you some tits. They're going to look great on you. You can suck all the dick you want. If my agent doesn't call me in the next week with someone I can be a beard for, I'm cutting it off. Like, absolutely. Paige, you are single now. This could be your new calling. Paige, I'm going to tell you now. You've got huge beard potential. Thank you.

I think because you can kind of divorce. You can be friends with someone. You're fine being arm candy. You're trying to, you know, and it's you're you're you're easy. I'm telling you, think about that as a career path. You get easily distracted by clothes. Yeah. Yes. Easily. Yeah.

What's next, Paige? Oh, let's talk about Marilyn Manson. Now, he's a real sociopath. So I was reading an article this morning, and he had written an autobiography, which I didn't know. But why would I know that, you know? And he planned someone's murder, and he writes that in the autobiography. And he goes to this woman's house the night he's about to murder her, and he gets...

brings a friend to help him. He was going to burn her house down and he gets spooked because there was like a homeless guy on the street trying to sell them drugs. And then, and he gets nervous that cause there's all like sirens at like on another street for whatever. And then he says, I've actually told too many people that I hate this woman so much and I don't want to do it. But he planned a murder. He planned a murder.

- I also have to say this, the only thing that's scarier than Marilyn Manson full makeup is Marilyn Manson with no makeup. I was googling that this morning. It is scary. - He's had so many facial alterations to be a certain way. - It's like Ichabod Crane got fucked by a Beverly Hills housewife.

It's very weird. So this is what I want to say. And I don't mean this is as women should know because Evan Rachel Wood, I love what she posted. I don't mean this, but I'm like, I read this and I went, yeah, I'm not surprised. Yeah. It's like even Paige, what you just said about murder. I was like,

Yeah, it's Marilyn fucking Manson. Like, yeah, it's like when with like our past president, people are like, oh, he's a narcissist. I went, yeah. Where's the lie though? Yeah. This all makes sense to me. It's not that women should know. And I don't mean that as women should know better. They said he was very charming and like larger than life. Yeah. But what Poodle just said, charming. It's that far from being a predator sometimes. Jeffrey Dahmer was charming. Yep.

Have you seen pics of a young Jeffrey Dahmer, y'all? Holy shit. He was hot. Yes, adorable. Yeah. That first two seasons of True Blood were charming, and then that last season was a piece of shit. Yeah.

i'm still angry at true blood god that was so hard sorry it goes back to that whole thing of what my angel says i think whose people show you who they are when you first and believe them believe them and so it's like what you were saying hannah about army hammer that's your gut that's like that spiritual or scientific energetic part of you that that

id brain that is saying that same thing that told us thousands of billions of years ago to say, oh, that's a saber-toothed tiger. I need to run. And so that's that part of ourselves that's going, woo,

But it's so easy to ignore it and be like, he's famous. He's tall. My friend likes him. It's to a point where Evan Rachel Wood, you can tell with her acting choices, she wants to challenge herself. And she wants things. She doesn't want a normal career path. I guarantee you she doesn't want a normal relationship. So when she finds someone who challenges her, that is someone where she thinks she sees growth.

Instead of finding someone who's challenged her... You just read her for film! Holy shit. And instead of someone who's challenged her, she's found someone who's basically menaced her. And again, these are... It's a thin line. Yeah, two sides of the same coin. You just have to have either people in your life...

And this happens. These people can cut you off from the good people in your life because they – if you have good people in your life, they will tell you when you start heading toward the dark side. And abusers and predators will try to remove these people from your life or extricate you from them. Hannah and I have moms who have both broken up with boyfriends for us.

Perfect. Great mothers. In the process, I was like, this is so embarrassing. And I'll never forget, I think I was like 19, maybe 20, and my mom locked me in my room for a full summer and was like, you...

Close your legs. And she was like, you're never seeing this guy again. And if I have to lock you in this room for a year, like I will. And it was the best thing ever. I mean, I walked out that three months later, got the hottest boyfriend ever. And I was like, who is she? I do have to say, if you ever feel embarrassed to say something that happened with your significant other to like a good friend.

Listen to that. Like if you're like, yeah, that's a sign. That's a sign. Like I remember I stopped telling my mom stuff about one of my relationships. And then one day I just word vomited. And that's when she goes, yeah, you're not going to this house. Yeah. And I was like, but I told him I'd go tonight and he go, you're calling him up. You're saying you never see him again.

If you're keeping things from all your friends or you don't want to tell them, we just did a show called Bling Empire on Netflix. And that horrendous abusive relationship between Kelly and Andrew, every woman who's ever kind of felt like she was in a

Even a verbally abusive relationship went, boom, that's what that is. And we saw it just because we're kind of... We're queer people and we're saying, oh, that's abusive as fuck. Get her out of that. But she would not tell her friends. She's like, I don't want her to be judged. And it's kind of crazy. I feel like...

It's more common than you would think. I've talked to my guy friends about this so many times and I'm just like, yeah, like you've got an abusive relationship and they're like, what are you talking about now? And I'm like, I am telling you, every single girl has been in whether it was physical, mental or emotional or all of them.

Has been in one. And it was like their minds were blown. I was like, I've had at least three. I think a lot of the guys don't know that they are being abusive. Right. That's true. But in the same way, they don't know that they're being that way. But it's this dynamic between men and women. That men, that kind of controlling aspect. Mm-hmm.

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Okay, I have one last story, and this is like a fun one, so we'll end it like it's something light. We're lightening it up. There's not cannibalism in this one. Salma Hayek is honored that Hilaria Baldwin would want to be Spanish.

I read this. She says she does not care. Wait, why are we still talking about Aleria? So we all create our own characters in life. She doesn't think that she should be canceled. And she's like, why wouldn't people want to be Spanish? We are the coolest. And I agree. Selma Hayek, A, is an actress and plays characters in her life. Aleria...

is a lunatic i love that you pronounce her name like that though all the time let's let's be honest yeah hilarious hilarious as hannah just said is is a lunatic no she's for someone to pretend that extreme way is the worst form of like tokenism ever

But like Alec Baldwin, he's crazy. We've known that. So are we fully surprised? Like he said, I've kind of canceled him a long time ago. He said very homophobic things like they're a problematic couple. Wait, was Alec Baldwin the one or is this Mel Gibson? Who's the one that called their daughter years ago and left that crazy voicemail? Alec Baldwin. Was that Penelope Cruz?

Oh. No, he wanted. I want to say yes. He wanted to date Salma Hayek, but I don't think she would. And also, Salma Hayek is like married to a billionaire, isn't she? Yeah, why is she even talking on it? She doesn't have to. No, she doesn't. You know what it might have been? It might have been the regular Hollywood response of someone asked her in an interview. She's like, yeah, it's fine. Do whatever you want. It's like, whatever, you know? I don't want to offend anybody, you know? So maybe it was one of those. It was on Andy Cohen's podcast. Oh.

Andy getting the tea as he does. Getting the tea. I also want to talk about this new website that people are promoting on Instagram called feetfinder.com. Have we seen this, you guys? No. No. So it's like an organized place for people to sell their foot picks in like a safe way. Love it.

Oh my God. I'm totally doing this because every single guy I've ever, apparently I have beautiful, beautiful feet, which is ironic because I hate feet. I used to swim in socks when I was a little kid back in Oklahoma. I also swam in a shirt. That was because he was cold. I don't want to take my shirt off. Yeah. Like Oklahoma. Matthew, it's 110. I don't care.

Anyway, oh, being a fat kid. So good for them. I might sell my weight. And I checked out the website, too. Basically, like, the pics are blurry, and the guy or the girl has to pay money to see your pics, and you set a rate, and there's, like, profiles. Wow.

I mean, go get yours. I'm saying go get yours. What if no one pays for your piece? No, I know that. Y'all, I've had men feet fuck me. I've had men want me to put my feet, their toes, and their butthole. I mean, I have people freak out about it. And I'm not into it at all. But I'm like, sure, get yours just as long as you fuck me when we're done with this foot shit. When someone has a foot fetish,

It's not just during sex. Like, when they're hanging out with you, do they try to, like, hold your foot? Paige's face right now looks like she just discovered oxygen. Just like, what? It was the toe in the asshole face.

me. Like that really threw me for a loop. Really threw me. I made that face when I was doing it, but you know what? That's a thing, Paige. It's, I was shocked too. I'm almost offended that no one has ever asked me that. You know, like who am I sleeping with that they haven't looked at my feet and been like, stick this right up there. You know what I mean?

I feel like the toes actually have a lot of nerves. And like once a guy sucked my toe and I was like, this is what a blow job feels like. Yeah, it was hot. It was hot. So I could see it actually feeling good going in their butt. It felt fine to me. You know, I...

But again, I think I'd be looking the other way and filing my nails. Yeah. If that's what you want, that's fine. I'll go get a pedicure though and sell this shit. When people have a foot fetish though, do they like try to like cuddle with your foot or they're like trying not to look at your feet? Or is it only during sex? Yeah. Is it all day or?

That's a good question. Because if a foot is a sex organ to you... This is what keeps me up at night. I've had both. I've had both. I've had people just sex. I've dated some guys that, like, if we were just kind of hanging out a little bit, like watching TV, like, they're rubbing my feet, but they have a huge erection. Interesting. Yeah. So it's just like...

I had one guy that like, I could not do this. - You have all the freaky deeks. - I know. - I'm just like- - One guy wanted me to like, he was like, "Take a picture and come on your feet." And I couldn't like aim very well. So I just got conditioner and put it on my toes. And he was like, "That's hot." - I just liked Hannah going, "Ew." - I never play sports. I'm not good at hitting a target. Don't ask me.

Oh, my God. You guys are the fucking best. Where can people follow you, listen to you, watch you? Give us the goods. We used to be 90 Day Gays. Now we're Reality Gays. You can find us at realitygayspodcast.com. We love a rebrand. Yes. And you can find us. Well, Discovery was going to sue us. Discovery Network said we're going to take everything you have. So that'll do it. So respectfully. That'll do it. Instagram is realitygayspodcast. Twitter is realitygayspod.

And you can find us at Reality Gaze anytime, anywhere you get your podcasts. Thank you guys so much. This was so fun. Gigglers, leave us a review. Tell us how you like us having guests because I feel like this was the most I've giggled in a long time. Leave them a review. And when you leave the review, put five stars and buzzwords

write something. Just don't put the stars. You gotta write. We always tell people, if you don't know what to say, just write, keep going clean. So if you want to leave a review for Giggling Squad, just put, keep giggling queens. Yeah. Giggling queens. The list. Thank you so much for being with us, you guys. Paige. What? Let's say anything. Anything to end it with us. Paige is just pretty. She was literally thinking about, like, my tits look great today. I was thinking, like, should I go on Peep Finder? You know? Should I?

I'm just making a Feed Finder profile. Yeah, in my head, I have my profile. Come at me and we'll set it up together, Paige. Yay. Thanks for giggling with us, guys. This is so much fun, guys.