Shownotes Transcript
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Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up. Well, I do know that to be true, but even during an ad reads like... Cuervo. I think he could lay out, especially for one of our great partners. Sweet, delicious Cuervo. Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion. Cuervo. So, enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo. Cuervo.
Cuervo. Tequila. That invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com. Please drink responsibly. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast. New Yorker writer J. Caspian Kang says LeBron is starting to tweet. LeBron! More and more like Trump.
The tweet from the Met Gala or not from the Met Gala reads, Unfortunately, because of my knee injury I sustained at the end of the season, I won't be able to attend the Met Gala in New York tonight as so many people have been asking and congratulating me on! Hate to miss an historical event! My beautiful, powerful queen will be there holding the castle down as she always has done! Prayer emoji, salute emoji, heart emoji, sparkles emoji, sparkles emoji, sparkles emoji.
It's the line of, people have asked me to be there and they want me there, but I won't be there. I think he was like co-chairing or something, so he had, I think, more than just, he had, I believe, a role, so that's why they were asking if he was going to be there. Why are you shaking your head, Zaz? I like how you put the emphasis on the grammar of an historic.
A lot of exclamation points. What's the last three emojis there? What were those? Sparkles. What's a sparkle emoji? I don't even know that. Is it just like a sparkler? No, that's a different. Surely you know the difference between a sparkler and sparkles, yes? Yeah, sparkles, sparkler I've used. Sparkles, I don't know how that would be shown in an emoji. Okay.
I've never seen it. I've never used it. I'm just curious. So do you know what sparkles look like? No. I know what a sparkler looks like. I know what fireworks look like. I don't know what sparkles are supposed to look like. They look kind of like stars. I'm not fluent in emoji, so I don't know what they're meant to represent. Sparklers are incredible, aren't they, Greg? Because you can play with them for the July. And somehow, even if it hops off and it gets on your hand, it doesn't really hurt. Right.
Right. Doesn't burn you somehow. Yeah, bring him back, Jack, is exactly right. Oh, see, I see the sparkle emoji right now. It doesn't even look like anything. It looks like the insignia of a car. It looks like an automobile logo or something. Like a Scion. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's just useless. I appreciate, speaking of useless and speaking of bring him back, Jack, I appreciate that...
Somebody that we haven't seen in a long time has reappeared now for Warriors Wolves. I don't know if you guys know this. I don't know if Zaslow or Greg Cody have ever met Don Kang. No, I have not.
Boxing promoter, right? Don Kang. Oh, I'm kidding. I'm just a joke. Well, who are you talking about? Don King, the boxing promoter. It was just like a little sound election. Right, no, it's not Don King. An understandable mistake, my dear friend. Thank you. There you go. An understandable misstep, mishap. My name is Don Kang. I'm often confused with the one and only Don King. We are very different individuals. I promise you that.
He says only in America. I say strictly in the United States. And I'm here to promulgate the indefatigable, pugilistic showdown between the dastardly delicious Draymond Green and the rudimentary Rudy Gobert. All right, I need to help. Please. This series is going to be tremendous. It's a showdown in Minnesota-own.
Between the Golden State Warriors and the Minnesota Timberwolves. Have you ever seen a man be put in a chokehold in less than 120 seconds? You will in this series. Have you ever seen a man get booed by 20,000 people for something he did five years ago? You will in this series.
Have you ever seen a man put his head down and dribble and then spin and barrel and only use his left hand? You will in this series and every series that Julius Randle plays in. Only in, I mean, strictly in the United States. Strictly in the United States. I love it.
I saw him crawling into the studio before. I didn't know what it was. I only saw the tip of the hair. I thought a dog was in the studio. I permit you, Mr. Zaslow, for confusing me for some of our rich brothers in the canine industry. But I am here.
To let everyone know about the conflagration between the magnanimous Anthony Edwards and the incontrovertible... Magnanimous, not magn... If you're going to read the big words, you've got to read them correctly. The incontrovertible Stephen Curry.
Strictly in the United States. But the showdown in the middle. Strictly in the United States is a great ripped off slogan. But when you say choke hold within 120 seconds, Jude, you put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Will Timberwolves...
This is what's going to happen, isn't it? It's transcendental. Will Warriors Timberwolves have a chokehold within 120 seconds? I submit to you that fireworks will come raining down from the very heavens of the Target Center. Sparkles. Sparkles, perhaps.
If you've seen them. I don't know if you've seen one. Perhaps you haven't. Sparklers. They are beautiful. Are they like sparklers? And you get Draymond Green, the great pugilist of this era, going up against the hated, the despised, the diabolical Rudy Gobert.
Strictly in the United States. Where else can you see a Frenchman and someone from Flint, Michigan say, it ends tonight? Why is he diabolical? That's what the chat GPT said I should use. But I can't tell you how funny strictly in America is as in the United States. Oh, I'm sorry.
I got your slogan wrong. Don Kang, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. It's been a while. I believe the last time I was here, we were looking for a rematch between Nick Kliokic and Markeith Morris. It didn't quite happen because I don't think Markeith got in that game, but...
I told everyone, be on the lookout because there will be a rematch. Soon and soon there will be. And it did happen in the NBA Finals, but I was not allowed to promote. And that's, you know what? I can't be mad at that. I can't lose my temper because some people just don't have the foresight to know when a good thing is staring you in the eye. But I tell you now, Wolves and Warriors.
You know why they love that series, Mr. Levitard? Well, I thought we'd said goodbye to you. I thought that was going to be goodbye to Don King. They both start with the letter W. And someone's got to win, and it's going to be Don King exclusively in the Stars and Stripes. What? Oh, wait. What do you mean? What? That's a totally... Exclusively here.
What Zaslow said moments ago about Russell Westbrook, I do believe that that's a lovely moment for someone who I thought you accentuating the part of that guy going back to that fan base and that fan base still loving him while choosing whether or not it's going to love this team the way it loves what he brought them as the triple-double guy. Russell Westbrook must feel...
nationally and internationally, like everyone thinks he stinks except for that place. Do you think he acknowledges that people think he stinks? Yeah. Well, don't you think the last five years of Russell Westbrook's career have been that he's gone from triple-double guy, we love him, he stayed at OKC, he stayed with the small city, and Kevin Durant ruined his legacy by bouncing around, and James Harden ruined the game by shooting a bunch of threes, but Westbrook stayed in his town until the very end.
And then he went back last night. And to me, can you even write a feel-good story around Russell Westbrook given how prickly he is and given how everyone else outside of OKC feels about Westbrook? I...
All of us acknowledge he's a great player. All of us acknowledge some form of that's the most fast twitch muscle fiber I've ever seen on an athlete. That's one of the greatest athletes you'll ever see. And that game will probably not age well because he doesn't shoot threes, but he's going to go to the rim. He's going to be stubborn. He's going to be defiant to the very end. He doesn't want to go to the bench like Carmelo Anthony at the end or all of these great stars. And he knows now that most people are thinking he can't help make a champion better. He can only make the nuggets worse.
But holy shit, what a story he got last night. And it's just by simply passing to Aaron Gordon, who I, again, said only dunks. It was probably one of the greatest moments or greatest nights of his career, right? Like, Harden goes back there. They don't cheer for him. Durant goes back there. They definitely don't cheer for him. They're still giving standing ovations to Westbrook, and he was right in the thick of the biggest moment of the game, and he makes the right play when no one else likes him to beat
that team it was probably one of the great moments of his career I mean also let's not reduce it just to that but he played great all night long he was one of their best players as he was one of their best players during game seven he's had a great playoffs and it's like this is the thing I think a lot of a lot of star players go through right where there's a transition period where like I'm no longer a star player but I still haven't accepted it and then you accept oh you know what
I can still be a contributor playing meaningful basketball if I accept a smaller role. And when that happens, there's great fulfillment that comes out of it. And I think Russell Westbrook has found that in Denver. He's been an amazing contributor for them. And the one thing I think, especially when you see how Harden went out in Game 7, the one thing you know about Westbrook, and a lot of times people hold it as a negative, he's going to play his ass off. He's going to try. The effort will be there. The intention is going to be there. Now,
Sometimes the decision making is not there. We hold our breath. We groan. We do all those things. But you know he's going to show up in a way that Harden time and time again has shown he doesn't quite show up in those moments. The other thing I want to say about Russell Westbrook is he is in a way a victim of the over analysis of the social media age. In that Russell Westbrook was a star player. Great player, right? Everyone applauded him. Did he have some bad moments? Sure.
But then you get people who are analyzing him and say, yeah, he's a great player, but there's these things that he does that aren't so great. Right? And then what ends up happening is people start echoing it, and somewhere along the way we convince ourselves that he's all about those things that are his flaws, and none of the good things he brings to the table. And we do it time and time again with player after player after player, and then they have to go somewhere else, and
you know, subjugate their role or make themselves smaller. And all of a sudden we praise them because we already kicked so much dirt on them that it's already over. So I think Russell Westbrook is a great example of that. I think it's funny that he's getting so much credit for making that pass at the end of the game. Now granted, he's never been known as a selfless player. He's not who you think of, but
he's a great passer. He led the league in assists three times. Look, he's been a great player for a long time. Before we bring on Sam Rell, that was absolutely dead-on analysis from Amin. There might not be a player in the NBA...
who would get more eviscerated by the advanced metrics of this is an inefficient player when Russell Westbrook leads the league and bleep you, I'll dunk on you, get your math out of here. I'll turn the ball over, I'll take a bunch of shots and I'll be fearless.
and scary and I'll do dumb shit but I'm not scared of anybody and your metrics don't matter to me. And it just saved the season against a Clippers team I thought was good enough to win the championship and last night it had the best play when he went back home as an inefficient player.
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Who the hell are you? You should be thanking me! Bullshit! You're a rude young man. You're a fool! You're a fool! I already called you a fool. You're a fool right back! You can't call me a fool. You're an idiot again! It's a fool wrong! You're an idiot twice! You're an idiot for dismissing how much I've helped you! This is the Don Levitas Show with the Stugats. Stugats.
Sam Morrell with us now, and he's our Knicks correspondent, but he also loves all basketball, really dislikes Draymond Green, really dislikes Stephen A. Smith, really dislikes morning television, and so he joins us now here very early from California. Are you going to, or are you coming back from ruining a local television event because you're doing the funniest thing right now? You are doing active promotion on live television where you're trying to ruin morning television.
I'm on my way to ruin one, Dan. Thanks for asking. Live or are they have they gotten on to your tricks now and they only like they'll tape you and then run you out of the studio? You're headed actively right now into bothering people at work on a local television station in Los Angeles. I'm not. By this point, they know the scam. If they're agreeing, they know what they signed up for. And now the problem is they're disappointed if I don't go too far.
You know, like they're like, oh, that's it. You brought on your friend as a gimp. That's all he did. I don't know. I don't know how much further I can go. Maybe Gary will whip it out on this one. Who knows? OK, this is not where the limits of comedy are, Sam. You have to do better. What do you mean? I don't know how far this goes. It goes right over the edge. Yes. Well, beyond the gimp. Do your job.
We have something. We'll see if it works. We got something planned for today. Okay. I'm looking forward to it. I wanted to talk about what I'm describing as the best Knicks feeling there's been in 25 years today.
That was a damn good game, dude. That was awesome. Jeez, you know, Bridges, that guy just, like, comes through at the end. For three and a half quarters, we're like, what the hell is this guy doing? I know he played great defense, but, like, offensively, you expect something from him. And then just such a clutch play. Brunson, you know, is going to be clutch. OG playing out of his mind. I mean, this is pretty damn fun.
Sam, Bridges made corner three and then the big stop on Jalen Brown at the end. Worth the five picks now? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. I said after the made three in the corner and then the stop on Jalen Brown, is he worth the five picks now? Look, if we win a championship, of course he's worth five picks. So I don't know. Five firsts is insane. I've said it's insane. But the guy, Levitard's insane. The third guy offensively is a tough guy to find.
If he wins you games, then he's worth the picks. Yes. You say that, and that's a giant if. And I'm going to say, and I don't mean to smoke you out on this one, I feel it's a bit cowardly because I think Knicks fans secretly hate Bridges and are waiting for him to ruin their season. You're just trying to start shit right now. This is what happens. Your heat have fallen down the toilet, and all you want to do is ruin a good thing that we had.
No, I'm just saying that you're ready to distrust this team because it loses at home and you don't trust Bridges. You don't trust him. You trust Brunson. You want to trust Carl Anthony Towns. You don't trust Bridges. Does this Knicks team have some sadomasochistic tendencies? Like, are we a sub in the bedroom as a team? Yeah. We want to be told, like, screw you. We want to be told you're a nasty little worm. And that's when we go off on the road. That's where we thrive. So at home, I don't know what's going on. Like, part of me worries, like,
Is it that the diehard Psycho fans have been priced out? Is it that this team responds to hatred? Maybe that's what it is. Brunson loves the booze.
Sam, speaking of Brunson, how amazing is it to have a guy who not only is great at the end of the game, but empirically the best at the end of the game? The best. In the NBA. The best by a lot. That's not close. I was texting my brother yesterday, like, this doesn't feel real. We're not used to having a guy this cool. I mean, even the shot he missed, we weren't even, I wasn't upset because we're not there without Brunson. So you can't be mad when he misses a shot like that. You know, how many times does he make it?
And the reason we're even in the game to begin with is because he hit those three threes in, what, a five-minute span? You know, it's crazy that Al Horford is still this good at 57 years old. That guy's ridiculous. So, you know, it's crazy. Pardon me for looking around. I'm in downtown Seattle, and it's pretty sketchy right now. Jesus Christ.
These people are like vultures. This is crazy. And I'm coming from, this is dicey. All right, sorry. Well, wait a minute. I don't want you to get, get to the local television station so that you can ruin it. Do you have to start running or are you okay? No, they walked by. It was two people circling me. It's like, it's like West Side Story, but they're on a lot of fentanyl. I don't know what's going on here. Sam, is Brunson the best player in the series?
As a Knicks fan, we feel that way. No, no, no, no, no, no. As a normal person. No, no, but hold on. As a normal person, yeah, I think he is. I think he is. I think Tatum's incredible. Tatum's a great player, but I think Brunson's better. I'd rather have Jalen Brunson. I think he's that clutch. I think you believe that he's going to hit the big shots.
He's proven it again and again. Yeah, I'm taking Brunson every time. But how do you feel about Jay Williams? And you know your Knicks history. Jay Williams saying after the shot against Detroit, and I don't know where that ranks for you in terms of coolest moments. Him hitting the three on the road, but
the way he hit that shot and you knowing that it was going to go in because of who it is that was taking it. Is Jalen Brunson a better New York Knick than Patrick Ewing and the best New York Knick of all time? That's a question. Here's the thing. Why do we have to do this? Why can't we just have nice things? Why do we have to be like, this was better than this? Like Ewing was incredible, dude. I love Patrick Ewing.
The reason I love basketball is because of that starting five. Ewing, Oak, Mace, Starks, Harper. I know Mace was off the bench, but in my mind, he's playing the five over Charles Smith.
I don't know why we always have to do this. Ewing was an incredible defensive player. They're such different players, Ewing and Brunson. Brunson, down the stretch, there's no one I want taking the shot more. And it's insane because he's so damn small. I mean, the fact that they had Thompson on him in the Detroit series, they had a giant on him, and he slayed a giant. And now it's a very different type of defense. You know, White and Holiday are incredible defenders. But Brunson is an anyone slayer. He'll f***.
you up. It doesn't matter who you are. He's Jalen Brunson. He's going to hit the shot. So yeah, every time I'm taking him over Tatum, and that's with much respect to Tatum. He's a great player, great two-way player, but Brunson is that clutch. You take Brunson every time. Sam, I wholeheartedly agree with you. First of all, shout out to your bona fides where you stopped everyone in their tracks before they could stop you. You said Mace came off the music. I know. I know Charles Smith was the other starter. So shout out to you for there. But also, I agree with you. Comparison is the thief of joy. Having said that,
Rank these for me. Jalen Brunson, game winner against Detroit. Allen Houston against the Miami Heat. LJ versus the Pacers. Ooh.
Those are three good ones. Those are three good ones. They're all incredible. I honestly have to go with LJ because a four-point play is insane. And Larry Johnson doing it on the pacers. I mean, you remember that moment. LJ was so fired up that they had to grab him and be like, calm down and hit the free throw. Like, that's how crazy that moment was. A four-point play.
It was rare at that time. I don't know if you're in the 90s. I feel like Jamal Crawford started hitting four-point plays, and before that, they weren't really a thing. He didn't even touch them. Yeah, probably not, but you know what? I don't give a shit. He hit the shot. It was clutch. It was awesome. And f*** the Pacers. I secretly really want a Knicks-Pacers Eastern Conference Finals, and I want the Knicks to f***ing smoke them to get revenge for last season. Sam, is there any concern at all that
Boston missing 45 three-point shots is a large reason why your team barely won in overtime? Of course I'm concerned. Do you think I'm just taking this and being like, this is how life is going to be from now on? I know who we're playing. I know we're playing one of the best basketball teams of all time, but...
A little credit to the Knicks perimeter D. Our game plan was to not allow any threes, which is why they got a few straight-to-the-basket shots. The Celtics play a very boring style of basketball. They just chuck threes all f***ing day. I'm bored watching them. I don't care for them. I don't like the Boston. I love the city of Boston. I f***ing hate their sports teams. But, uh...
Look, that game plan is to force them to shoot bad three-pointers because you know they're going to shoot them. I know Derek White and Tatum. I know they're going to hit their threes. I know they're a great three-point shooting team. Yeah, we got away with one, but that was the game plan. So hopefully we can stay on them. A little respect to Bridges and Josh Hart and OG Ananobi for playing insane perimeter D. Same with Deuce. When he came in, Deuce had a bad series against Detroit. He came in and hit some big shots.
We did what we had to do on the road, and we like playing on the road. So I think our defense was pretty fired up yesterday, too. Sam, if a racehorse broke its leg, wouldn't it be more humane to give it a wheel than to euthanize it? I see where you're going with this, and I don't care for your sarcasm. What do you mean?
No, because we were talking about the... You think it's rude to give a Knicks fan hope is what you're saying. No, no, no. You think it's rude. No, no. To be perfectly honest with you, Sam, we were supposed to have our animal expert on now and we bumped him for you, but I'm getting these animal questions in whether we like it or not. No, don't back off. Don't explain it to him. He's genuinely curious. Yeah, we were talking about the Kentucky Derby yesterday and all the horses that end up getting euthanized. We were also talking, honestly, because all of the ones running in the Kentucky Derby were descendants of Secretariat.
So we're talking about how prevalent incest is in the horse racing community and whether or not there are defects, you know, not defects, but mutations genetically by the fact that all the horses are related to each other. And seemingly they're reproducing with each other. So are they beneficial defects or are they not? This is what we're going to ask, you know, the animal expert. And he was also asking, so if you have a horse and it breaks a leg instead of killing it, just put a wheel there. Yeah, just give it a wheel.
So like a sad walking around handicapped horse? That's what you want to say? No, I was actually saying if the horse had like one wheel, maybe two wheels, if it had, I'd probably bet on that horse as opposed to the horses with four legs.
I feel like, I don't know who's asking me this question right now, but this is like the autistic portion of the show. Okay, Tony, I don't know what the hell is going on. I was fired up with the Knicks. You're making me sad thinking about handicap horses right now. It's what he does. It's what he does. So I'm sorry. Yeah, Sam. Okay, you know what, Sam? Sam, you know what? Thank you. You're a comedian, so I appreciate you doing that. Major penalty, five minutes. Screaming comedy. If you had two wheels, would you put them front legs or back legs?
Are you dragging the wheels or pushing them? I'll go. Try to be funnier than a comedian. That's always a good idea. I mean, he hasn't been funny yet, so... Oh! Wow. Dude, the West Side Story with Tony. Tony, I wish that story had wheels so it would have been derailed so hard. Tony! Tony! You suck, Tony! Tony, you suck! What an asshole Tony is. Sam, I'm sorry. He had...
Sam hasn't been funny. You think he's going to steal my joy today? No, no one's going to steal my joy. I've been circled by meth heads in downtown Seattle. They can't steal my joy. I'm looking into their eyes and I'm going, I don't care. Whatever I feel is better than what you took. Your first high can't compete with what the Knicks did to Boston yesterday because the Knicks are doing it and they're going to come back 2-0, baby. Sam, if you had the choice, would you go to the Met Gala or Knicks road playoff game? Why would I want to go to the Met Gala?
Obviously the Knicks. The Met Gala. You think I want to see someone dressed like a freaking turkey? I don't give a shit. F*** the Met Gala. The Met Gala to me just looks like, I remember Tina Fey described it as a jerk parade. And ever since I heard that, I was like, yeah, that sounds right. Why would I want to go to that shit? Knicks all day. Okay, yes. Would I rather be dressed like a turkey or be a turkey for 25 years as a Knicks fan? And now you're ruining my joy with that guy. Don't, don't, don't, don't turn to them with that dance. Don't try to, don't be a joy thief.
- Well, just Tony. - Don't feel like Tony. - I feel like Tony is the one that's the joy thief here. I believe that he's insulted. I believe you accused him of autism? - Whoa. - I didn't accuse him. I diagnosed him, Dan. Learn the language, learn the term. - Last thing before you get out of here, any thoughts on Stephen A. Smith running for president? He said he has no choice to consider it, but to consider it. - I think it's great. I think it's great. We've had a black president. Let's get a black guy in office. It could be progress. - There it is. Okay.
Sure. That's not a word that we use anymore, Sam. Oh, I know. I meant it as a positive. I think he seems, I mean, he's the worst, Steve. We all know that. I mean, he's terrible. I love the clip that's circulating that he's like, go Knicks. And then also, the Villanova does not have one NBA player on that team. We got three on the team that smoked.
one of the best teams ever. So, uh, Stephen, a stinks. Um, but could he be a good presidential candidate? No. Swerve. Uh, what did you have in the way of thoughts on Draymond green in this Minnesota series? Uh,
Wait, who are they playing? The T-Wolves, right? Okay. Warriors, T-Wolves. Look, my heart is with the T-Wolves because they got Dante and Julius. Once a Nick, always a Nick. Ant is fun as hell. The Warriors. Look, Buddy Heald. That was pretty awesome, that game seven for that kid. You got to give him his props. I will say, I think that's going to be a good series. I'm fired up for that. But yeah, I love...
I love the moment he had with Jimmy after the game where he called him, he called him Alfred because he's a butler. I mean, I like vibes like that after a big win. I was in SF for that game and it conflicted with my show at the Masonic, which annoyed me. You know, anytime you enter that, my real thing is Knicks and then how many tickets I'm selling on the road. That's what it comes down to. So,
I was annoyed that the Warriors had a game seven. I'm rooting for the T-Wolves in that series. I'd like to see Dante and Julius. Julius balled in round one. That was good to see. Now, Sam, are you in any way concerned about the trepidation of Rudy Gobert against the irascible Draymond Green, strictly in the United States? I'm hoping that something unhinged happens as a fan. I mean, you just want, here's what happens. You want to keep stock
piling the evidence that Draymond Green is mentally ill. So when he really does something really dangerous, so you're like, we told you, that's all you want. I mean, how can he keep outdoing himself? I mean, he put the guy in a sleeper hold. It's like he thinks he's Ted DiBiase, the million dollar man. He's a psycho.
I love watching how unhinged Draymond is. So I'm looking forward to him doing something really stupid that costs his team a game. Truly sedacious words from the comedian Sam Morell. But I do declare I would like to know whether the inevitable Stephen Curry. Why are you talking like that? What is happening? I'm Don Kang. I'm a promoter. Oh, geez. Showdown. I thought you were Samuel Jackson in Django Unchained. Oh, OK. All right.
Okay, excellent. Sam's a little unhinged here. Give me a funnier wrestling name that you could have chosen as a professional comedian than Ted DiBiase. Rowdy Roddy Piper might have worked better. Dan, I'm thinking about that right now. I f***ed up. I f***ed up.
No, Million Dollar Man was the one, especially when he won Sleeper Hold as a finish. Sgt. Slaughter went with it, like the Cobra Clutch. All right, all right, I shouldn't rethink it. All right, all right. Sam, DiBiase is universally funny as a comedic name. You will not do a lot better than Ted DiBiase comedic. Go ahead, try. He did.
Let's let the man go. See you later, Sam. Good talking to you. Good talk. Go Knicks. What are you guys laughing about? I mean, that was a great appearance. To be honest, maybe it's because I'm rooting for the Knicks now, but I definitely see it with Sam. I mean, the line with, it's like West Side Story with Fenton Halls.
Which is great. It was a great hit from Sam. He gets, I guess, really fired up when he's doing these morning show hits. He wasn't lying when he said, I looked the meth heads in their eyes and let them know, your first high could not compare to how I feel right now. That's the most energetic I've ever seen him. That's the most effort. Hold on. I got the Don Kang in there again. Don Kang. The Don Kang. Don Kang snuck in one of my favorite words of all time, by the way. Ineffable. Ineffable. It's a wonderful, you never hear anybody use that word.
Thank you, Don Kang. You're welcome. I'll let him know when he comes back. I would like to talk for just a moment, if we could, about lies that come back to bite you. OK, because I don't know if you guys when I ask this question of the room, the entirety of the room. Do you guys have any thoughts on a let's do this in honor of Stugatz in general, the Stugatz Lifetime Achievement Award for lying?
Lies that come back to bite you. Amin, would you have any nominees here on something? Because I see you smiling. Yeah, I had one that happened to me this last weekend. The old my phone died and then someone seeing me use my phone. And I just completely forgot I told the lie.
And then I was like, oh, I stumbled into it. I charged it a little bit. But the person who found out knew I was lying. And it was like, I just couldn't keep my, that was, it's not, you know how they say you can't keep your lies straight. I couldn't keep my lie straight. Just one lie. Couldn't keep it straight. Well, that's what every liar says. That one lie, I couldn't keep it straight. That's probably not your one lie.
was the one i got caught on what was their reaction were they hurt i mean it was it was just kind of like disappointment slash disgust was it a person we know no no and how how much uh sewage and shame did you stew in on oh i hurt that person's feelings by accident because i was just avoiding them and i lied to avoid them well okay so here's the problem this isn't the first time that this person has caught me in a lie that came back to bite me
I also once said that my Apple Watch is only there to keep track of my steps and alert me if I get an email. I don't get any texts on my Apple Watch. Man, you really don't want to talk to this person, huh? Why do you keep interacting with someone you want to lie to so much? Just cut them out of your life. I just don't want to be held accountable to having to respond every single time someone sends me a message. Or this specific person. This person seems to catch on really quickly. Could this person be...
Watching right now? God, I hope not.
Well, I mean, I got caught already both times, so it's like I'm 0 for 2, so they're not learning anything new here. But you're kind of admitting that you don't want to respond to this person ever. No, I just don't want to respond outside of my own time frame. I can't be the only one who gets lies that come back to bite me, right? Someone else here has one, right? Well, I feel like what just happened there is the room stared at you and no one else had anything because you're the only one who smiled when I first brought it up. Because I'm the only one who's okay with showing my vulnerability. Yeah, a lot.
Thank you, Don Kang. The liar is the only honest one in the room. That is correct. That's America right there, strictly in the United States. Thank you, guys. Zaslow, I don't believe that Greg Cody has ever been so cheap as to do what Zaslow has recently done, which is, I'm going to allege, an act of bravery...
That is, I'm going to say borderline dangerous. How much did you pay for a Spirit flight? You paid for a Spirit flight. No, what's worse than that? No, no, hold on a second. Hold on a second. I had to get home from Atlanta the other day and... Greyhound was out of the option. When I'm searching for flights, the ticket for one way home from Spirit...
It's 35 bucks. Don't fall for it. I love that. Get what you pay for. Don't fall for it. What do you mean get what I pay for? I'm here. I mean, I got home. That's what I paid for. It's like an hour. Right. That's what I'm saying. But did you pay for bags and stuff? That's how they get you. No, no, no, no, no. I made sure that I had a carry-on that would fit everything. And I just, I saw the $35. Like,
I don't care how I'm getting home, for 35 bucks I gotta do it, right? - They charge you for the carry-on. They charge you for not sitting in a middle seat. They charge you if you're gonna have a glass of water. They charge you for boarding at a certain time. - I just sat there and raw dog. They don't do wifi either. - It had to be 100 bucks out the door though.
Like it says 35, but they get you all these fees. No, I think I made it happen. 35 bucks. I told my son, I'm like, Hey man, we're flying spirit. He was very upset. He goes, are we, are we like, are we sitting on the, on the wing? You know, did it look like the steerage and the Titanic where they were playing like harmonicas and accordions and shit? I, I,
I had to do it. When you say you were flying spirit, you actually had to fly the plane because at that money, you don't even get a pilot, right? I mean, how much did you spend for a bag of peanuts? I didn't buy anything. I told you I raw dogged it.
He's not listening at this portion of the show generally. Do you mean you flew in spirit? Like, you're supposed to go to Atlanta, but you didn't actually go? No, and I didn't purchase the seats, because you're right. If you get anything but a middle seat, apparently, you have to pay for it. So I'm with my son. We're seated in different rows. How old is your son? Because I didn't choose my seat. I didn't want to pay for it. How old is your son? 16. That's old enough to say so. And how did CPS react? He's a big boy.
He's a big boy. You're going to be all right. You sit right there. I'm going to sit over here. Shout me out if you need me, man. None of you have ever taken a $35 Spirit flight? Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Have you ever taken a $35 Spirit flight? And let me also add a little bit of context. So it was either taking the $35 flight home or the next cheapest flight at the time that I needed was $250. Yeah, that's the one I take. Times two.
That's the one that I take. I gotta take the spirit flight! No, you don't. No, because I kind of want to ensure that I'll be okay. He's here, and if you're not okay, you're dead. Who cares? What difference does it make? $220 and you're dead. If you're not okay and you're dead, who cares what difference does it make? I'm sorry. No, death is only like the worst thing possible.
Well, but he's saying it's not like you're being tortured. I'm not being tortured. My final moments are, oh my God, I'm dying in a fireball. If I were to look up, honestly, the airline disasters, I don't think Spirit's on any of those lists. I mean, we haven't actually had many airline disasters. There's been a recent uptick to which I would say now would be the time.
to take the $200 flight. - Now batting, number 99, Spirit Airlines. - I'll tell you man, if I need to get somewhere and I see a $35 flight, I have to take it. - I didn't know there was such a thing. - Your son's not gonna let you forget this. This is gonna be a story that you're gonna hear about for a while. - How's he not gonna let me forget it? We got home. - Yeah, but it's just bad.
It's just bad. It was an hour. To Atlanta is a nothing flight. Totally. I didn't fly international in spirit. You sat in a different row as your son. You're going to hear about that. At 16, he doesn't want to sit next to his dad anyways. Honestly, they were on a trip. You went to what? You went to a concert or something together? Yeah. They had enough time together. Did you teach him how to fashion a shank out of a toothbrush? Yeah.
You guys are flying elitists around here. I don't understand what's going on here. Yeah, no, when it comes to Spirit Airlines. $250 was the next flight. I went on Spirit Airlines once. I went on Spirit Airlines once in my 20s. It was also to Atlanta. And what happened?
I decided never again because of my experience on Spirit Airlines. What happened? It was a hell ride. Why? It was terrible. It was delayed several hours. The seats were uncomfortable. My knees were in my chest. It was turbulent. Everyone was rude. I didn't feel safe. Shall I go on?
on and on and on about why I decided my experience there was so bad, I shall never do this again. - Now Mike, let me ask a follow up question. Did you bring any cartons of cigarettes for bartering purposes? - For bartering, absolutely. Everyone knows that you have to do that. - Got to. How else are you gonna use the bathroom? You think you just walk up and use the bathroom on a spirit fight? - They have bathrooms? - Oh they do. You just gotta bring like three cartons of cigarettes with you though. - 35 bucks, man. Had to do it.
You know, when you celebrate 50 years of Miller Lite, I had to bring in a Miller Lite aficionado, Greg Cody. I mean, no one says Miller Lite like Greg Cody. When I think of me and you, I think of us on a golf course. Where else are we at? I mean, on a cruise ship, in my backyard. At the beach. At the beach is a good one. What do we always do? We hear that...
Oh, yeah, yeah. And then what do we do? We toast. We clink. Nice little clink. The clink, whether it's the can or the bottle, there's something about the clink of the Miller Lite. Yeah, and it's not just how much we love it. It's the whole ritual of it. You know, the popping the top, the sound of that. Tick, tick, tick.
Yeah, that's great. Love it. Love it. From game nights to parties with friends or a special anniversary, celebrating important occasions means more with the coolest people in your life. Cheers to 50 years of Miller Lite, the great tasting light beer for people who love beer since 1975. Now's a perfect time to celebrate legendary stories with friends, family, and a great tasting light beer. It's Miller time.
The simple ingredients, that malted barley for rich, balanced toffee note flavors and that iconic golden color. Yes, it's one. Everything about it is wonderful. I can't think of anything better.
You're smiling. Ever since we started doing this ad read, you have just been smiling the entire time. I'm a Miller Lite guy. That kind of thing. Miller Lite, great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
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