Hour 2: The Scotch Egg (feat. Nick Offerman)
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This episode is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Got a lot of stuff that I still want to get to here. But Mike, you're hosting a screening on Thursday. Is everyone invited to this? How does this whole thing work with you and the screening and you're trying to move and shake in the movies? Well, I just did one for Friendship. A friend of mine was the executive producer.

producer on that project. This one was a little bit more organic and had a little bit more to do with me and my connections. We're going to be hosting a screening, two screenings, 6.30 and 10.30 show. One of my favorite bands in the world is Turn Cell. They're dropping a new album. It was produced by Rick Rubin. But as a part of that rollout, it's a 14-song visual album that's premiering at Tribeca. There weren't any Miami showings.

So I put together some contacts because I wanted Miami to have access to watch this film because Miami's never thought of that way. And we were able to get it done and bring this film here on release date this Thursday. Tickets are available. Use the promo code Mike for discounted tickets over at the Gables Cinema. My friends over at Three Points are responsible for bringing Turnstile to that festival, playing their first headlining Miami show here in the fall. So as part of that, we're going to help promote that appearance.

By putting out this film, I think TurnCell has a real opportunity to solidify headliner status, become a generational rock band. I got a tattoo on my leg of their album, Glow On. Interesting little note.

really inspired what we did with the musical when JT Daly came down here he introduced this band to me and we I was super inspired by the engineering on this album and all the different layers to it I've been waiting for years for the follow-up it's finally coming out so on Thursday in the Gables Gables Cinema check uh check out my socials for direct links to get uh discounted tickets by using the promo code Mike put it on the pole at Levitard show are you surprised that Dan has a tattoo of a croquette on his calf uh

Did anyone here have any thoughts, poignant or otherwise, on TNT's farewell? I will say, as it has become harder and harder in a shaking and quaking media climate for things to get the respect they deserve at the end. ESPN has done a masterful job with Lee Corso and Dick Vitale, extending them great grace at the end of their careers.

HBO and Max did a poorer job with Brian Gumbel not allowing his show to get to 30 years. It had to stop at 29, even though HBO Real Sports was the giant. They let it go 29 years. In the industry, they did let it go 29 years. You don't get your, you don't get, I understand how you don't get your feelings hurt by that stuff, but

But when Tony Reale doesn't get to 5000 shows because he's got to stop at like 4900 and whatever it's there. There's just some corporate stuff that happens that you're like, oh, come on. It didn't have to be like that. It didn't it didn't it didn't have to be all dried up at the end. What are you smiling about, Mike? I mean, the Billy Steak.

That HBO Real Sports? Yeah, you got 29 years. They have 29 years. Let them have a goodbye episode for year 30. Come on. What is it? With the around the horn thing, it is weird to be like, you gave me 4,900 shows, but I needed 30 more? That was a good run they gave them. Hell of a run. Correct. I'm not saying otherwise, but the TNT stuff this weekend, they got...

They got their send-off. They got the year. They got a documentarian following them around. They got all of the emotion, and now they'll just be back next year. It's going to feel the same, although I think one of the better takes that I've seen surrounding all of this, I saw a clip of Bill Simmons talking about it, saying, ESPN, we know how you do your clocks during your...

pregame and postgame coverage, you have these 90-second segments and you go right to commercial. And I realized, yeah, it's herky-jerky. I don't actually care about what anybody's saying because they don't actually have time to lay out. And they better change their clocks around what TNT's NBA coverage brings. So the system is...

Turner produces the show. It's shot in Atlanta in the same studio. It's the same camera people, same sound people, same researchers. The show is produced and then just licensed to ESPN for broadcast.

That, to me, tells me that it's going to be the TNT show and then ESPN is going to have to adjust its clocks. And by the way, that might mean adjusting its advertising rates because now you've got the IT show on the worldwide leader of sports. It's like, oh, this is a classic example of yesterday's price is not today's price. And so that's what I believe because the way all the Turner people have been talking and, you know,

Down to Shaq saying, we're not coming to F around and then dropping the F-bomb anyway because it's the last show.

In the case to me, they're not going to take notes. It's not going to be like, guys, we love you. Okay, we need you to get in and out in 90 seconds because we've got that first commercial break where we've got to show Draymond Green chasing a basketball because of wolves or whatever. That's not going to happen. They're going to do their show, and ESPN is going to have to adjust. Well, it's a similar setup to what they have with McAfee, which is licensed and produced out of Indianapolis where Pat does it. And if you've watched the show –

especially in the early going, Pat would have a difficult time with the clocks because he had to concede to ESPN's network clocks. And I don't know if that's been alleviated some, if it's still an issue that he runs into. I haven't seen it recently enough to know that, or if ESPN just decided to conform to his clocks.

That's a very powerful talent with a huge show that's hugely important to them. You invite that, certainly, with the TNT guys. There's not a way that it gets screwed up, right? There's nothing about this show... You're not going to...

see anything other than the most dangerous version of them that will have to be left alone because they will enjoy being anti-establishment from within the machine. Charles Barkley will enjoy feuding with ESPN talent on ESPN and not caring what any of them think. There will be more Kendrick Perkins and Shannon Sharp kerfuffle stuff where your celebrities

This is the big show coming to ESPN, and they're not coming to be changed. Giving them championship rings was a bit much. Like, they are never going to wear NBA on TNT championship rings. Like, was that not a bridge too far? It's a gesture. It's a nice gesture. I mean, a nice...

By who to whom? Like a nice gesture to Charles Barkley, who makes how many million dollars a year you need to give him a championship ring? At least he's got a ring now. How about they buy things for the people that aren't going to be going to ESPN? They did. Did they buy championship rings? No. When did they buy them? Jobs. They get to keep their jobs.

Do you guys think Ernie was mad at Shaq for stepping on his dismount? I was. Because Ernie, like, they all went, like, you go first, Shaq. Then Kenny. Then Charles. All right, Ernie, bring us home. And he dismounted with, this is the NBA on TNT. Before you finish. One more thing. Before we go, let's do the mic drop. Just do the mic drop, Shaq.

Visually, the mic drop would have been perfect. We should all do it. No, no. It was so perfect, actually. We all got to do it. When you think about it, it was perfect. One more thing before we go. Guys, guys, before you go, don't leave it. I know you scripted this whole perfect disavow. Don't leave it. Let's drop our mics. Ernie did the thing Dan does sometimes where he like spinned his chair around. What is Shaq doing? I will not be part of this. I will spin around. Very cool.

Dan doesn't have a dismount where it's just a spin of the chair. But poor Ernie is like, Ernie knows what the moment means. Ernie's father handed down broadcasting attorney, a Turner. Ernie's the reason that they will not leave there. And he had the moment for the puncture. And of course, and of course Shaq, like, Oh, what about let's make one more thing. Yeah. Wait, guys, guys, guys, cool. We don't be cool. And we all dropped our mics. Um,

Did you guys hear Greg Cody get in there with the zinger, at least Charles now has a ring? Yeah, that was good. No one had that take. I know, but it had to be said. It didn't have to be said. You know, I don't want to be the guy here who's not sentimental about this. Do it, Dad. Be the guy. This is a long goodbye for a show and people who aren't going anywhere except right across the street.

People, this is a media story, you know, you love talking about this. I think fans don't give a shit. And the analogy I would use is NFL fans don't care what network the Super Bowl is on, they're going to watch it. People who are fans of Inside the NBA are going to follow it to ESPN and hopefully it'll be the same show. ESPN wouldn't dare F this up, right? Because they have a gem of a show, they have to leave it as is.

They have to. There's a history of them effing up gems of shows. I don't know. Is there? Not like this. This is the best there's been. I mean, this is the best show there's been, yes. But a history of effing up gems of shows. I don't know. Maybe one based in Miami, perhaps? Oh, self-involvement galore. Exactly.

Bill Simmons did say on his pod yesterday that he believes ESPN is going to F this show up. He cited the idea that the shows won't be able to go long. They're going to have all those super short commercials. They'll be preempted by stuff. But the face that you see in this screen right here, and I can't totally see it because Greg Cody is advertising all his stuff here. And so I can't see the lovely face of Nick Offerman. There it is. Look at him.

Look at him. He has been on a run here recently. You surprised me, and I don't know why I say this. You shouldn't anymore. On The Last of Us, and now he is Mike Ryan. He's in Mission Impossible, The Final Reckoning, and this is a bit confusing to me because I just don't think of Tom Cruise and Nick Offerman on the side of a plane doing stunts together. It's not what comes to mind originally. Well, that's also not really what happens. Not to give away the film. Okay. Well, whatever.

Not going to give away, but you can tell from the trailer, Nick Offerman isn't also hanging off the side of the plane. All right, well, let's talk to him. It's in theaters and IMAX everywhere now. And good seeing you again, Nick. Can you take me through the story of how it is that you ended up on Mission Impossible? And are you old enough to even remember the television show? No, no. Good morning. Nice to see you. And no, I don't remember the television show.

um i have no idea um how how i ended up on on the in the movie uh chris mccorry the director called me and said he wanted me to play the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff and i said this truly is a wild and wonderful world it was an incredible adventure getting to work on that

And do you have any good stories that surprised you of the experience? Like, I don't, what were you expecting versus what it is that you got? Well, I've never worked on a big budget sort of action franchise. And the astonishing thing is the way they actually workshop every storyline in the movie. So we'll get up on our feet and we'll start shooting something. And Tom and the director, Chris McQuarrie,

will scrutinize everything and say, I feel like this can be more intense. Like the audience is not wetting themselves yet. And so they keep tweaking things and giving people different dialogue. So it was kind of fun seeing the final cut because we weren't sure which direction our storylines were going to go. So is he obsessive compulsive about making sure his hands are on everything because it's his baby?

well yeah i mean i think it's just his his jam he's like a chef you know he's he's like he needs to taste every dish before it goes out to the floor um and but i mean it obviously works that's that's why his action movies i mean and watching him do the stunts like nobody does that you know that's why he's the top action movie in history like

No one remotely does the stuff that he does and he really does it. There's never a stuntman. Were you present for any of it where you're like, he's batshit crazy? What is this? This is not wise.

it i mean we i was present for some stuff around around the office as it were but we they did a big presentation one day while we were shooting to show us all the biplane stuff that they had cut together and i was standing next to him it was actually on his 60th birthday and he said you know

This is my favorite thing in life. This is why we're all here. There's nowhere I'd rather be on my birthday than here making movies. And we watched this biplane stuff, and we just shook our heads and said, if you weren't standing here, I wouldn't believe that you had survived this. It's just astonishing. So then this sound here isn't surprising to you at all. This is right in line with everything Tom Cruise is when asked this question.

Also, I got to ask, Father's Day is just around the corner. What would an ideal Father's Day look like for you? Hey, you know, just having fun, man. Making movies, big adventure, having a great time. What is that? That's not what Father's Day is. That's a great Father's Day. That's exactly. Offerman, your answer is exactly the same there, correct?

Well, I mean, yeah, my apparently he likes his father's day like he likes his birthday. Yeah. Big adventure. Did did you find yourself a bit odd that you're a part of the Mission Impossible franchise? Yeah. I mean, from start to finish, you know, like shooting at all of our stuff around London, you

All the way through the big like premiere in New York, I got to take my mom to the red carpet, which was incredibly fun. I just, you know, I've been lucky to get work as an actor, but nothing on this scale. So sort of standing with the stars of this movie still feels really surreal to me. Well, what does that mean when you're looking at scale and you're like, I used to do this and now I'm doing this. This is big Hollywood stupidity.

Well, I mean, the fun thing is I don't really have one bailiwick or one niche.

I've done TV and film and stage and tour as a humorist. So it's just sort of another box that I'm thrilled I got to check. And it's really interesting. You know, they they they obviously pay more attention to what's going on in the underwater stunt sequences than perhaps with the nuances of, you know, the the the emotional things that like an indie movie would focus more in on on

the personal interactions because they can't afford two biplanes. So, I mean, it's just another part of the sort of wonderful zoo that is this world of entertainment.

Nick, I'm curious, given that, were there any moments where you were like, what's my character's motivation? And they're just like, just shut up and say the line? No, I mean, you know, generally people aren't that brusque. If they're making successful entertainment, they're usually more respectful than that. But it's very collaborative. You know, they get a bunch of it's like, you know,

kind of like getting called up to the majors in a sense. You're suddenly the other members of the cabinet of President Angela Bassett are Janet McTeer and Mark Gatiss and Henry Cherney and all of these...

all of these sluggers. And so you're, you're quickly and, um, with great acumen working out these scenes together, you know, are we achieving the, uh, the highest possible octane to, uh, to make us worried about what's going to happen with Tomcat? Do you have insecurity around this? Do you have any imposter syndrome? Do you have a, and I don't mean that you should, I just never know like how small someone feels in surreal circumstances.

It's definitely there, but I'm able to take care of it. Like, I know, you know, I've learned over the years that whatever clumsiness or fallibility I might bring to the table, that that's just human. And, you know, people, if I talk too slow, which I do, or if I don't make enough facial expressions, which I don't,

That's why people have hired me. And so it is really fun. I mean, you've got to be nimble on your feet. Because they workshop the movie, you don't have your script for a long time. Like, you get your script and you've got to learn it, and suddenly you're shooting it.

And so you got to really keep your knees bent and be ready to play some defense. But it's a lot of fun because you can tell that you're all in it together. And again, it's supportive. Nobody's going to yell at you. If you make a mistake, everyone's like, all right, let's go again.

We got this. Come on, buddy. Rank them hardest to do to least hard to do comedy, drama, action. Hardest to do is comedy. It's the same technique as drama, but the stakes are higher. That's what that's what makes it funny.

Drama is for me as a taciturn Midwesterner, staying in touch with my emotions and like allowing an emotional story to come out of this granite face can be challenging. And then action, you know, for me, that's why I grew up an athlete. And so that has less to do

For me, it's harder to work out in the decathlon of my artistry. The emotional events are the hard ones and the pole vault and the shot put, I'm like, yeah, you train and you throw the damn thing. I mean, I know you're asking Nick Offerman, but I would love to see Tom Cruise react to Nick's list of what's difficult when he leads with comedy when Tom was hanging outside of a plane. Yeah.

And lighting. Like his face is flapping. He's like, tell me about the decathlon of artistry, Offerman. The stakes are high in comedy. Yeah. I'm hanging off the side of a plane. Tell me more. As soon as I get hired to do stuff like he does, then I think the graph will change considerably. Well,

What was the degree of physicality in this role for you? He's a bureaucrat. No, no, but was there any stunt that you were asked to do that might have impressed you? He's a bureaucrat. Bureaucrats do cartwheels. I don't know what he's asked to do. Yeah, I do actually get to have some fun doing a little bit of stunt stuff.

uh but i've done i do also enjoy doing my own stunts and i um i always do i don't tend to like jump motorcycles off of cliffs or hang off of biplanes

But I do enjoy stunt driving and, you know, beating the crap out of myself. I'm in a series right now where I'm playing a former pro wrestler, and I got to do a bunch of really fun, actual wrestling, off-the-top-rope kind of stuff. What are the best of the finger foods? That's a hard left.

Is this a euphemism? No, we were talking about it right before you came on, and you looked like somebody who would enjoy ranking some finger foods. We were talking about what? I wasn't criticizing him. That's kind of your dad. Not exactly a compliment. He's a man's man. You look like you know your way around finger foods. You have not hurt my feelings. Wait a minute. You think that Nick's going to be insulted that I can ID him visually as somebody who enjoys finger foods?

I mean, my brand is, among other things, as someone who consumes a lot of bacon and meat. And so, I mean, when you say finger foods, my mind jumps to a pub in L.A. called the Red Lion, where you get pints of heiferweizen and what's called the sausage platter, which is just a bratwurst, a summer sausage, and a knockwurst cut up.

With three kinds of mustard. That's the best of finger food. It's not a finol. It's just a slab of meat. Like, what are you talking about? You can't eat that with your fingers. You've got to use a fork and a knife to eat everything you're describing there. All right. All right, then. Ribs. No, that doesn't... He's got a brand, Dan. He's got a brand. Not a finger food. Finger food, Nick, you've got to be able to eat it and then...

Just kind of dust your hands off and now you're clean. You don't have to wash your hands. Ribs, too messy. I mean, pass. You guys were right then. I'm not a finger finger. Last question before we let you go. The reaction to The Last of Us. Have you ever had a reaction that felt like that?

It occurs to me, I do have a favorite finger food, and that is the scotch egg. Oh, there you go. Hard-boiled egg wrapped in sausage. There you go. That's how you play the game. There you go. See? You know it's a move.

The reaction to The Last of Us, no. When I first read that script and when I first stepped on set for that episode, which was like a Sundance movie. It was like one beautiful...

little indie film, everybody knew that this script was so exquisite that Craig Mazin had nailed it in a way that we were like, okay, if we just say these words in the right order, let's not this up because this is a very precious story that we're going to tell.

and and we apparently got the words in the right order because it had this incredible positive reaction um and i i've never experienced anything like it it was incredibly gratifying um

I usually in my career don't get cast as like the romantic lead. I get cast as the guy who carries those beautiful people on and off stage. And so it was quite wonderful. And I'm glad I didn't screw it up. Mission Impossible, the final reckoning in theaters and IMAX everywhere now. Thank you, Nick. Always good catching up with you. Nice to see your smiling face. I'm sorry we were so aggressive with our meat questions.

You've never hurt my feelings, and it's nice to see you on another great year for the Chicago Cubs. It is a great year for the Chicago Cubs. Thank you, sir. Nice seeing you. We're going to get to, at the end of this segment, we've got a behind-the-bit on hard network outs involving Greg Cody. Greg Cody...

In the jostle of the last few years, the hard network out has been diluted in a way that doesn't feel right anymore because we've been sloppier with the clocks.

But we are going to celebrate that for a few minutes here at the end of today's second hour. I always enjoy talking to Nick Offerman. What are you guys smiling about back there? Well, it's just we talked about how ESPN changes shows. This was an ESPN thing. We have the freedom now. We don't have to get cut off by clocks anymore. This was...

a huge pain in the butt when greg cody would join our show because we had to adhere to these clocks and to hear you wax poetic about a rigidity that was installed

by ESPN that we spun into a win, no doubt. But it's funny that you miss what is considered a rigidity because you can take segments pretty much as long as you want now. I just don't believe that they're going to make the mistake of doing anything to that show that wouldn't allow that show to be that show because those guys will then start complaining on the air.

in a way that no other personalities in the history of ESPN will have been allowed to do. And you're just like, there will be inner office stuff that happens if they try to change that show. That show comes in as being bigger than where it's landing. It's a hard thing to say. Not a whole lot of people can say it. It's one of the few things in the history of sports that can allege, I go to that place and my...

Q rating is higher than where it is I'm going. Dan, you underestimate the hubris of executives. You watched the show The Studio with Seth Rogen, the episode The One-er.

Where he's like, I just want to sit back. And then he starts giving. He can't help himself. They can't help themselves. They're always going to give nice. That episode made my skin crawl. I love it. It was a great episode of television. But in terms of anxiety inducing shows. It was great. But to Dan's point, they know. Like the Trump card there is he'll go to air. Charles Barkley will say your name on air. I feel like those executives will in this spot be like. Chris, you would be staggered.

with how little like self-awareness these people have executives never stop themselves from getting in the way yep i mean pat mcafee publicly beefed with one executive that executive is being an executive somewhere else right now and

because pat mcafee had a contract with espn like you licensed this show for me now he may have a talent agreement but he doesn't feel like he reports to the bureaucrat that was standing in his way i don't think charles barkley's gonna become a disney employee i don't think shack's gonna become a disney employee free disney though man they're gonna license their show and that's a double-edged sword they get the show but they also are bosses of people that aren't

technically reporting to them. To be clear, if they license the show, they don't get the Disney passes? I bet he negotiated that. Imagine him trying to figure out a silver pass and

Oh, my God. This plus three people? Texting Randy Scott, you got an extra one? I need to bring my... Oh, I've got to ask you guys a question about Randy Scott. Randy Scott, I've got... There's some dirt on him. What? I enjoyed what you did for John Brinkus today. Hacking my day? John Brinkus, we lost him too soon. Yeah, according to John Brinkus' social channels, he'd been suffering with depression, and it's a good opportunity to talk about mental health because no one would have ever...

assume that about John Brinkus because all we consumed, be it on this show, John Brinkus joined our show all the time when sports science was going on. You would never know. And his social channels announced that he succumbed to his

depression you can kind of piece together what that means gone way too soon uh really sad to see and i think randy scott did a really wonderful tribute around something that's really sad and tough to hear and it also once again reaffirms to anybody out there in our audience don't make up your mind about somebody they could look like they're having the best life you don't know what they go home to you don't know what lives in inside their head and this is a very hard reminder of that

But I started this segment saying I had dirt. Yeah, you want to crush Randy Scott after that? Go ahead, Dan. Good luck. After mowing the lawn, Randy Scott admits he gets right into bed and naps.

Wild. Literal dirt. But the segue was terrible. Yeah. Well, we should have mentioned the John thing probably earlier. Probably earlier. But yes, Dan, that is gross that he does that. So beyond the bit we stumble into here. Gross and wonderful, Randy Scott. This is a new and unimproved Dan Levitar show with the Stugas. Gamble on by DraftKings.

Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan. Now, if you've been listening to the show a lot lately, you've heard so much playoff talk. Playoff hoops down here in South Florida were especially enamored with playoff hockey. It's not just limited to the playoffs. Motorsports, tennis, golf. It's truly one of the best times ever.

in the sporting calendar. And with the weather outside warming up, it's just perfect to hop in a pool, maybe grill up some food, but most certainly crack open some Miller Lights. I just described a pretty perfect day, didn't I? And it culminates with Miller time. There's something about a perfect grilling day. The sun's out, friends show up, and that first sip of Miller Light just hits different. I've been stocking up the cooler with it for years. This year, Miller Light turns 50.

That is five decades of cookouts, laughs, and ice-cold moments that never miss. And if you've listened to the show for its 20-year existence, you know this to be true. Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Cheers to 50 years of Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

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Don Libetard. You don't remember the idea for a home run call? I was probably like, that kind of thing. Something. Okay, no. The home run call was that kind of swing, that kind of thing. Stugatz. Oh, it's a good call. Thank you.

And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it. Like, you're not tailoring it to a particular name. You know, all that jazz. You know, you don't got to do that. Oh, that would be a great call. That kind of swing. That kind of thing. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugats. This is behind the bit. This is behind the bit. This is behind the bit. We take you back to a better time in the show's history, a time, at least for me, where I was happiest because we were at ESPN. ESPN.

You're the old white guy columnist who always castigates the athlete. Getting older every day. For misbehaving and for urinating on sportsmanship, what side are you on in this? Well, I want to make two points. Number one. It's Dan, Stu, and Greg Cody on ESPN Radio. I mean, back in my day, I used to build forts. You know, Fortnite was nothing you stared at. It's something you built with your hands, like Man 101.

It was. This was the Dan Levatar Show on ESPN Radio. I would Google my name and Coco. It's Dan, Stu, and Greg Cody on ESPN Radio. Dan Campbell. Man Campbell. Oh, Jimmy Johnson. Otherwise, you never know. It's Dan, Stu, and Greg Cody on ESPN Radio.

Please explain the hard network out. Well, I've missed so many of them. Apparently, I don't know what a hard network out is. For some reason, the listeners seem to enjoy it when I miss a hard network out. We all enjoy it. You know, but it doesn't happen intentionally. Hard network out was born out of necessity. We had to adhere to network clocks with ESPN, which was truthfully a struggle for ESPN.

Everybody. So we instituted a sounder that was just unavoidable because the time we had to break was unavoidable at the bottom of the hour. Nobody had a harder time with that concept than Greg. Oh boy. Greg is just oblivious to everything that's going on in that studio. Dan and I noticed it early on. By the way, I will say this. Greg has been a breath of fresh air for our show. The audience loves him. The staff loves him.

I love him, but he has no clue what the hell is happening and what we're doing every single Tuesday that he comes in. And so we noticed it. We thought it'd be funny to try to cut him off at a hard network out. We were still at ESPN. So we had to be out by a certain time at the end of every hour.

And we figured Greg eventually would catch on to the fact that we're asking him questions at the end of every hour with about four seconds to go on the clock. I made the imaging. I took a gold horn that the New York Islanders had in 1996, and then I spliced it together with Poppy. It's Dan, Stu, and Greg Cody on ESPN Radio. And...

There you have the imaging for the heart that will count. Has Greg ever asked you guys, like, why do you keep cutting me off? He still doesn't know. No, he keeps talking through them. He's taking advantage of an old man. I think at one point Dan wore a clock on his head and Greg still didn't know. That's why he undersells when he says, we noticed that Greg Cody was oblivious. This is us working around the general incompetence of Greg Cody at all times. He doesn't know what time in the show we are.

even if I'm wearing a clock that says so on a baseball cap. Eventually it got so bad that we're like, okay, we're just going to make this a joke and we're going to see how we can trick him into tripping over this finish line. And it's never once been faked.

Everyone thinks that some of them are so perfect that we must have maneuvered him into position with him acting with us. Never. It's never fate. To me, the Hard Network Out is just, it kind of encapsulates my dad on this show in one bit because it's

Something that the audience has always thought is fake, but it's just my dad not really getting what we're doing around here. And that's why he's one of, I think, the best, even more than Stu Gatz, the best character on our show because it's not a character. Because I just feel like it is such a good example of you on this show. Like you are just, you're yourself. You're not a character. You're not going to learn. Even after the 12th time we've gotten you in six months, you're just going to show up next week and you're going to forget about it again. And it's a beautiful thing. Never, Dan, would you wear a hat with a clock?

counting down he would be looking straight at Greg with a countdown clock that would go to zero he would complain that the clock wasn't anywhere that he could see it and even when we removed all of those excuses he'll he'll just never change those things it'd be weird for him to all of a sudden grasp it now right no I know there's a countdown clock even now but

I'm looking at someone I'm talking to. You have to be able to do it. Or I'm looking over there. You have to be able to multitask. And the clock is up there. Yeah, it's a lot to do. And I'm never, I'm looking at people, I'm looking at eye level. I'm never going like that and looking at a clock. You can tell, it's very difficult. Look, I've never worn a watch. I don't use my iPhone as a clock. I don't care what time it is. The group Chicago said, does anybody really know what time it is? I know, but I don't want to. They really care. Yeah.

We told you repeatedly to go to the doctor. You ignored us. You finally went to the doctor and the results of your visit to the doctor were what? Yeah, after several tests, they found a tumor in my chest.

It's Dan, Stu, and Greg Cody. It's Dan, Stu, and Greg Cody on ESPN Radio. I don't particularly enjoy the hard network out there. I asked that question. I left him about three seconds. Three seconds to answer a serious question about a visit to the doctor and a tumor. We can't do better than that. Comedically, we can't do better than tumor and then him starting the next thought with, and then just a foghorn all of a sudden.

That was perfect. Perfect. Yes. Perfect execution. We knew as soon as that happened that that's as well as that bit of incompetence. You want like one, one and a half words to come out and then boom. Yes. One, one and a half. If one of the words is tumor, just a couple of syllables, one of them's tumor, you've got comedic gold. What makes that great is we are talking, I think it's the only time we've done this, about such a sensitive topic. That's right.

We had genuine concern and then immediate laughter in his face, braying laughter. About a tumor. When they did a hard network out on me describing the most major surgery I've ever had in my life, that one I had to laugh at because it's just so absurd. And that one told me that if they're going to do a hard network out on me for that,

Nothing is off limits. You know, it's all about the show first because, you know, I'm talking about a major big fist-sized tumor being removed from my chicken. Benign tumor. Benign for everyone out there. It was benign, yes. He's fine. Chris, were you there for the hard network out, the tumor work? Yes. That was a rare Dan.

was out. Like we rarely have like show historic moments when Dan's out. And that was one of them. Stu Gotts driving the show, walking you right into it. That is just an all timer because that was a scary time for us. Was that pre-surgery? Was that when you had the tumor still in you?

I'm trying to think back. No, I think that was after my surgery. So you had the surgery. So we were feeling better about his health then, but I just remember late in that minute, like late in that segment of like, oh God, Stugatz is starting this topic. And it was just like all of our eyes, all of us in the back, we got a combination of excited that, oh my God, this is going to be an epic hard network out and a little combination of, I hope my dad is fine with this because-

It's a very sensitive subject. Yeah, well, I had to laugh at it, first of all, because I was feeling euphoric relief because it was major surgery. And, you know, a week or two before that, my wife and I are sitting in an oncologist's office finding out test results, whether or not the tumor right in the middle of my chest was cancerous or not. I was terrified.

You know, and it was benign and the surgery went well. And that was probably my first time on the show after the surgery. So probably would have gone differently. Probably would have gone differently if it wasn't benign. We probably would have spared you. I'd like to think so. But with this show, you never know. It's Dan, Stu and Greg Cody on ESPN Radio.

Howdy, folks. It's Mike Ryan. Now, if you've been listening to the show a lot lately, you've heard so much playoff talk. Playoff hoops down here in South Florida were especially enamored with playoff hockey. It's not just limited to the playoffs. Motorsports, tennis, golf. It's truly one of the best times ever.

in the sporting calendar. And with the weather outside warming up, it's just perfect to hop in a pool, maybe grill up some food, but most certainly crack open some Miller Lights. I just described a pretty perfect day, didn't I? And it culminates with Miller time. There's something about a perfect grilling day. The sun's out, friends show up, and

Miller Lite.

Great taste. 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Cheers to 50 years of Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

All right, y'all. The Super Bowl is in the rearview mirror. The draft has come and gone. So now what? Now it's time to get the crew together. You keep the fandom energy going. It doesn't stop when the Super Bowl's gone. We gather. Exactly. And look, just because the pads are off doesn't mean game day stops. Around here, we do game days, even in the offseason. And what better way to do that than with a cold drink?

and your people around. You've heard it all season long. Football is not a solo thing. This is not a me thing. This is not an I thing. This is a we thing. There is no I in fandom, baby. So grab your crew, grab some Smirnoff, and get into that off-season groove. Summer workouts, training camp rumors, fantasy football prep,

It's all coming, folks. And listen, if you're going to sip something while plotting your team's comeback, Smirnoff's got you. It's the perfect vodka for crafting cocktails that are easy and tasty for anyone 21 and up. Smirnoff isn't just a vodka. It's the number one vodka in the world and the official partner of the NFL. Grab a bottle of Smirnoff at your local retailer and head to Smirnoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for you.

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