Hour 2: The Tower of Terror
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Dominique has been concerned about the stuff that's been getting onto his face and hands all morning. It's been very weird. It's like there's white powder everywhere.

White stuff. The makeup person came in kindly and said, you got stuff all over you. And it was pointed out that this is Stu Gantz's chair. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I'm touching something. It's disgusting. And I appreciate everyone for helping me out in this process, but it's very gross. I had to change the microphone little cover thing because it was gross. I'm mad at Stu also.

I was perusing the internet and I got, I saw something, a gift that I thought would be perfect for Stu. It like popped up and I saw it and it made me think of him. So I bought it for him, sent it to his house. Hmm.

He didn't say anything. He's not home a lot, though. Oh, no. It was a while ago. He also moved. Did you have an old address? I asked him for his address because it wasn't a secret. He's also ungrateful. Yeah, I think that's the one. Could that be part of it? I think that's the one. And I'm not someone, so my wife is like a stickler for the proper way to do things. It was like you send out thank you cards. You do these sorts of things. And I'm not a guy who's a stickler for that, but like...

Shoot a brother 10-1 acknowledgement. And so I text him like hey, how you doing? I'm good. All right, but see you later. That was it. All right, I guess well I bring it to the air to air my grievances with I believe he never saw it Possibly that's nice of you. What did you get him? They were Grateful Dead influence NYX t-shirts what a thoughtful gift, right? I'm not even a great gift giver, but I

Because I'm a fan of this show, I know that Stu pretends to like New York sports, but really likes Grateful Dead. So, first of all...

My algorithm, a little disappointed in you. Not sure what about me suggested that I wanted Grateful Dead Knicks t-shirts. It just knows you know Stu. Yeah, must have. Do you get the credit for thinking of Stu when it was the algorithm that gave it to you? Or you're talking about the credit once you see it, then you think of it. No, it didn't say for Stu Gotts. I mean, whether it did or didn't.

I typed in my credit card information, his address. Like I spent some time and some money. Shoot a brother. I keep catching myself. Shoot a brother a text.

and say thanks. How many times do you guys need to be targeted for the same thing before you finally commit to it? Because it happened to me with a pair of sneakers recently where I went, I found my size, I put them in the cart, and I said, no, I don't need these sneakers. Oh, once it's in the cart, you're... Oh, it kept going over and over again. And then I went through to the point where I was checking out and I tried to instead of put my credit card, just do Apple Pay online.

And then there was nowhere to click to make the purchase. And I was like, well, this is a sign. I don't need these things. And then I left. And then an hour later, I was on Instagram and I had the same target. You know what? This is a sign. I need these shoes. So then I went and I just put in their credit card information. I bought the shoes. But it took like six tries before I was able to commit to these shoes that were $49.99. Have you guys ever seen Stugatz in a T-shirt? Mostly a hoodie. Now that I think about it. Oh.

Oh, bad gift. I should have got him the hoodie. He came up to me the other day when I was wearing a t-shirt and he's like, that's my t-shirt. And I'm like, how?

And I was like, no, this is a shirt that some band sent a bunch of shirts. He's like, no, I'm pretty sure that's mine. And I'm like, how on earth would I have your shirt? He's literally trying to steal the shirt off your back. Why would I be wearing your shirt? Why would he think you have the same size as him? Well, we're close. I actually think he's a larger size than I am. You're a foot and a half taller than he is. I know, but between us, he's on the 2XL train right now, and I'm not. What? What?

Yeah, not to put anyone's business out there. But he thought that I was somehow wearing his exact shirt because he couldn't comprehend that people would have the exact same shirt. Hold on. I just want to fact check this. Stugatz cannot be 2XL. I'm just telling you what he takes when the things are sent here. That's what he wears. Maybe that's why he didn't think Dominique got him. Yeah, what size did you get him? Like medium or something? Yeah, I think I probably got him a large. Like, I wear mediums, but... Buddy, it's not 2002. I think it's 2002.

I probably got him a large, so he probably doesn't appreciate it. I asked him, so I text him before I got it, because, like, what's your address? Because I don't have his address. I didn't ask him what's your size.

That was a mistake. Can I tell you something I found out about him just now in the break that I'm bringing on the air? And I probably shouldn't, but whatever. It was just announced to me. So we have a guy that works here, Taylor, who helps out with video and does all kinds of stuff. He sings. He's a great singer. He's a serial WFAN listener. He loves WFAN. He's from New York. David, I don't know if you know this. He rode a train from here.

I saw. For them to lose, as I recall. Correct. Yeah. And he, I think he has the team's curse, whatever. So he's always listening to WFAN. He loves New York sports. And he told me that he heard announced on WFAN last week that Stu Gatz will be filling in in July on WFAN.

And that was news to me and probably news to everyone that is hearing this now. It is July. Is that why he's not here this week? No, he's golfing this week. He's in Lake Tahoe, which makes me then wonder when this filling in is going to occur because he's had two straight weeks off. He's presently playing golf, but they announced he will be filling in in July. Without dates? That's a weird announcement. I assume they have the dates. Where was he last week?

Do you want... Nope. No, don't need it. Nope. Breaking the fourth wall? Nope. Keep that fourth wall right where it belongs. We're breaking it. No, don't break it. Don't break it. I don't want it broken.

So algorithms, they be knowing stuff, man. I have a weird situation where I learn things that I'm into by my social media. So like I just discovered TikTok. I'm into scare videos now. So I used to be a guy who was like-

It's like they do a compilation of people jumping out and scaring people and I find it incredibly hilarious and I'm embarrassed because I fancy myself somewhat of a smart guy who like appreciates some highbrow HBO level content, but you show somebody getting scared and I mean you got me. I'll go... Like haunted house? No, no, no, no. Just regular people. Like The Shining? No, no, no, no, no. So like...

Assume you walk out of this studio and I'm standing on the other side, someone else has a camera and I go, "Ha!" And then you like jump and flinch and drop whatever. Compilations of videos like that.

And I love them. How do you get on that algorithm? I don't know. I think they probably just tested me one time. I don't know. You will be now, David. Yeah. I will never be. I don't like Instagram. It wasn't Instagram. It was TikTok. I don't really like Instagram either because I don't really care. And this is sad, but I don't really care about other people's lives. TikTok is more like entertainment than it is...

Like, I don't want to know what you're doing. I don't care. If I care, I would call you. This is why you don't have friends, right? Yeah. That's exactly why I don't have friends. I want to know. I would like my friends for the day to join in. And Lucy, what is the weird thing in your... I feel like asking Lucy what is the weird thing is...

It's going to involve a genre. What's the normal thing on Lucy's locker room? Okay, so two things. First, related to your last point, I saw a girl that I went to high school with on my TikTok for you page the other day, and it infuriated me. I should never see someone I know on my TikTok for you page. Also, she lied in the video, but I'm not going to bring that up. Wait, wait, wait. Is she herself an influencer of some kind? No, she was in a Man on the Street video. Yeah.

And she said she was from a different town than we were from. And I said, I know. That's a lie. I'm not going to say her name. I'm not going to bring up the video. But TikTok knew that you knew her and that's how it ended up on your screen. And it made me so angry. Is she famous now? No. How? We discussed the bikini contest before. Was she judging that this weekend? She...

the video has gone viral oh but like not in a bad way like she she looks great in the video and i'm not going to bring up anything because it's not i'm not just a liar but she said she was from a different town i said i you're not from there what town did she say she was from not going to say because we'll give the video away man so we don't know what stugatz was doing last week we don't know where this girl's from you can't be repping sets that ain't your set that'll get your ass beat it made me just very very angry and it wasn't even

- The reason that she lied, it was that like, I go on TikTok to make sure I don't see people lying. - Right, yeah, it's for entertainment. - And I don't wanna see you. But the videos that I am really into right now, and I've talked about this on Mystery Crate, is Jasper the doll, and she's a doll that's like,

kind of crazy and so it's like I get a lot of puppet and doll videos and they are so funny I actually bought a cameo from Jasper to give to my sister for her birthday you guys gotta look up Jasper the doll you will not you won't like her at all oh gosh

I love Jasper. That's scary. Her videos are so funny. I don't like this. No, she's so funny. She's such a crazy doll living her crazy life. She's hilarious. Would you guys be reacting like this if she looked like Barbie? Probably not. But she's made videos that she's not related to weird Barbie. That they are completely different.

Seems similar. I also, like, I've moved past this, but I had a phase where I was into, like, pimple popping, ingrown toenail removal. So disgusting. Ear cleaning type stuff. It's not. It's actually. When they pull the big thing out of your ear. It feels good. Oh, did I tell you that I went to go to a CVS? Shout out to CVS. Nope. Twice. Don't shout them out. For getting my ear cleaned professionally. Did they ask you if you had a ride home?

That's not for your ear, Billy. It could mess up your equilibrium. That's what they said. They said a lot of people need to kind of sit down after the fact. I didn't because I'm superhuman. They didn't ask me maybe because I present more like an adult. But I got my ear professionally cleaned with water and all those things. Irrigation. Ear irrigation. Irrigation. Nothing came out.

It was incredibly disappointing. Was there nothing in there? Not for me to say. They tried for a long time. Nothing between those ears. And they said there's no great TikTok viral reveal. Why did you think you had something in there? It felt a little stuffy in there. Also, I think I just seen so many videos where I was like, I want that feeling. You can get a picker. Like, they...

I have an at-home water irrigation system that works just fine, but they also have people who do like professional. It's more popular in different cultures where they actually go into your ear with instruments, and it's probably dangerous. Don't do the fire one at home. That seems crazy. Where they try to use the heat to create lower pressure to suck things out of your ear. Yeah, yeah. That's a disaster. That's an accident waiting to happen. Whatever happened to just a Q-tip?

No, sometimes Q-tips push it in deeper. We all saw girls. That's what happened. Yep. A little hydrogen peroxide in there. Did you guys see what happened to P.K. Subban, by the way? Like, so last week he went to, I guess, like an ENT or whatever. He went to like a... So he had lodged in his ear a piece of his...

from game seven of the Stanley Cup final and it was in there eight days before he realized and they went in and took it out. It was just a piece came off and was stuck in there and they had to go and remove it. He's like, I guess, you know, it felt like he had lost hearing because of how loud the arena was or something and then nope, there was something lodged in there for eight days.

I feel like I would know if something were lodged inside me for eight days. One time my earring got stuck inside my earlobe, pushed it all the way in, and it was just in there, and we had to cut open my ear and take the earring out. And that was a long time. It took you eight days to notice you didn't have the earring on? It took less than eight days, but I was a kid, so it took a lot longer for me to tell someone that my earring was stuck inside my earlobe. Oh.

I had an eel bone stuck in my throat once. A what? Eel bone. Yeah, from sushi. I had to go to urgent care. Anyways, you have a lot of tooth and ear stuff, I feel like. Yeah. What are you going to do?

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Don't go by yourself. If you're going to go on a trail, don't go by yourself. Stugatz. Put it on the poll. Is it the whitest person thing ever? I believe is what you called it. Going into the woods by yourself. Is going into the woods by yourself. I can't disagree with that, man. I mean, so black people don't camp? Yeah, black people don't hike. They don't camp. They don't go out into the woods. This is the Don Levitas show with the Stugatz. My algorithm is iOS 18.

What is that? It's the next version of the phone, right? It's the next version of the update. And some movie lists. Hold on. You get served videos about...

The next Apple software update. That's, and so I'm just imagining that my algorithm is not as amazing. Are you up to date or are you like very behind and like, buddy, we're about to be by 18? No, I'm always up to date. Okay. I download it the minute I can. I'm not a beta person though. You can. You're an alpha. You can, no, but you can use the beta version of iOS 18 right now, but I don't want to do that. Does anybody have something in their algorithm that's slightly more interesting than phone updates? Yeah.

I get a lot of bodybuilders now. What? Male or female? Why? Male. They know you're working on your summer bod. Yeah, yeah. They've overheard me talking about getting on gear, taking trend. Oh, yeah. We've talked about this. Dominique, me and you. We should have done a cycle when we were doing this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks for including the rest of us. No idea what you're talking about. We didn't work together at that point. This is when we did a show together. We all did steroids together for a while. We wanted to be Jack like Dominique. Did you actually do a cycle together? Well, according to my algorithm, yes.

It turns out I'm very, very fluent in how you would use lots of testosterone and or Tren and or HGH regimens to get the results that you need. And what's jarring to me, I guess I never really thought about this, is like how much bodybuilding is entirely aesthetic. Yeah. Like the spray tans. I always get the tans. It's remark. I'm like.

I guess it's not for me to criticize how much people love spray tans. Well, you thought people got to like 455 pounds and jacked for health reasons, not for aesthetic reasons? But even that it was more about like a functional strength, it's so entirely like people photoshopping their bodies.

There's a YouTuber who's really popular, one of the most popular, this is how I got started on this. This is kid Sam Sulek, who's one of these YouTubers. I don't know if you've ever heard of him, people out there in the world may have. He is one of the most popular YouTubers, he's 5'11", approximately 300 pounds maybe, but fully jacked, we've got a photo of him. And there's this whole conversation on the internet about like natty or not, about whether they take steroids or not. - They obviously do, right?

Every bodybuilder takes steroids. Yeah, I thought so. You can't get that body naturally. It's like professional wrestling in the 90s, right? Or maybe still. Or 2010s. Some people claim that they don't, but it makes me think that they're lying to me. And so I've just been consuming lots of videos to try and

fact check whether any of you guys are on steroids and My investigation continues your body's exhibit one mine is exhibit 1a Not steroid huh you can't have your body and be on steroids. That's supposed to mean you might look I

If you're trying to say that my testicles are enormous... What's going on? Actually, they shrink on steroids. That's why he's saying, because he's... I'm going to refer back to Dominique's previous... Yeah, Dominique. Let it germinate when it's funny. Wait, what do I do when it's not funny, though?

It may not be for you. Like, maybe if you don't get it, let it go. But if you know that it was like a real not funny joke, we can pounce on it. We can make it funny by pointing out that it's not funny. So we just let it last longer. Yeah, you could leave it there or you could just point out. So how long would you go with Pablo's testicles? Like a minute? Zero. Zero. So if Pablo wants to reference his testicles,

Just be quiet. Because if it was funny, the people who appreciate it will laugh. If it's not funny, Pablo's awkward silence while we all sit there and say, why are you talking about your nuts? That would be funny. You, on the other hand, trying to correct him on how to affect the size of testicles, not funny. Thank you, Dominique. But the way that you took us to the paper, pretty funny. I'm listening. I'm thinking about it. Nice. Man's learning. He's getting better, guys. Coach him up.

I am coachable. David has been maintaining his own junk journal. But it's just the size of people's testicles. And things that you learn in third grade.

- I admit that there are things I don't think about. I'd like to understand how algorithms work, and I don't. I understand when I buy something that I'm gonna get more of that thing. But I don't know how you get a bodybuilding video or a scary video without you doing something to mark it. - So before we get to how algorithms work, I think we need to work on basic human interaction. That's step one. We'll get to algorithms later. - Well, I wanna get to algorithms now. - Lucy?

Okay, so basically when you first get a social media account, it's going to send you all the different videos, dancing videos, cooking videos. It's going to track if you like them, if you share them, if you bookmark them, and how long you watch them. So if you watch the entirety of a bodybuilder video, it's going to track that you're doing that, and it's going to feed you more and more, and it's just going to keep track of how long you're watching these videos. But would you agree then that Pablo had to have done something with bodybuilding

Yeah, he had to watch the video, which he's explained that he's already watched the videos. I think it probably also, I'm guessing it probably makes a prototype or archetype of a person who has similar behavior as you and then sends you videos that people like that. People who like these videos normally like these videos would be my guess. I'm sorry. Talking to David right now in this fashion makes me concerned that this is what like...

Joe Biden's cabinet is doing all day. Oh, God. That's not nice. Now that you've got. I am happy to have fun as much as you want to. And you can use me as your character. Do not compare me to what they do for Biden. Do not call me a Democrat. That's what he's saying.

I'm curious if your algorithms all remember like in the early YouTube days when they, the way the algorithm worked was like, you could watch YouTube all day long and you would keep feeding you videos, but eventually you'd end up on Gangnam style. Like all videos went back to Gangnam style. Apparently that was like how they designed their algorithm. I don't know. But my Instagram algorithm will go from like me watching a tutorial on like how to do nails to like, uh,

Christian, like super Christian videos. What? After like three videos, like all roads go back to like Christian influencer. Are we talking like Christian McCaffrey Christian? Olivia Culpo Christian? No, like Christian the religion, not Christian the McCaffrey. And she sends every single one of those videos to me. I send them all to Lucy and I keep getting more. But before I started doing that, before I started doing that. Are they trying to convert you? No.

I have no idea. What's the goal of the video? They're all different. I don't know how to explain it. I think we showed one on air once. They're all different, though. It's like, this is my life and this is what I do here. And it's like a bunch of Christian activities.

I don't know. You got to stop sharing those. They click off. Charlie sent me some nonsense about ranch dressing and I got out of that. You asked for them. Because you said they were funny. And then I watched them. One of them was funny. Yeah, it was kind of funny. And then I started getting stories about people. So it's about...

You can explain it, Charlie. British people trying ranch for the first time and they drop their British accents and say, ranch, like Americans when they try it. It's kind of funny. All right. The first one was funny. And then I was like, all right, let's get out of it. It's out of my algorithm now. I've skipped enough of them that they know I don't care about the Brits in their ranch. Speaking of white parties, though. Oh. My algorithm has also been the white party, the Michael Rubin white party, because I clicked on all of them. Have you been to it? Yeah.

No. No, David. I'm here with you in the mud. It's quite a party. You've been? So, no. I'm one degree away. I'd like to get zero degrees away, but I'm one degree away. I want to go one time.

That's it. Just to say that I went. - What's, I'm sorry, what's the degree? - No people who go there. - The Hamptons. - It's in the Hamptons where I live. - I think he's asking who's the person. Like you said you're one degree away. Is there a person or what's the like? - So there's people in the baseball world who go and then there are the people who work at the party are the same people who work at my house.

So they take the week. - Or maybe you could work it. - Yeah, I was thinking that too. - I could work it. - You're talking about like wearing a disguise, construction worker outfit maybe then? - Like MCA style? - No, but there's the construction, there's a load in and a load out. It's a very big, it's an eight day affair. So load in is six days, load out is two days.

So you gotta be part of the load-in crew, and then you have to, like, do inside man it. You know what I mean? Well, there's still, all of them are on duty the night of the party. No, no, no. What he's saying is you sneak in with them while they're getting ready, and then you get in a potted plant and stay there until the party starts. You make a false wall, you hide behind the wall, and then day of the party, you break out while no one's paying attention. Have to room service cart, get in there. Yeah, that's nice. It's become the party of the summer.

Wait, are we talking about the Michael Rubin white party? I hope so. I thought we were talking about when the Marlins bad boy drank a bunch of milk, that white party. That was not a party. I didn't even have a party at that moment. We're talking about the Michael Rubin white party that just happened. It's amazing to me that they didn't play any... I'm going to refer back to the notes in David's journal about...

The only thing I saw from that come out of that party was the picture of Drake where he looked like very sad and tired. Speaking of someone who hadn't slept in a while, Drake in that photograph. You know who Kendrick Lamar has run the best campaign of the entire summer. It's been incredible. And it comes to mind because they didn't play any Kendrick Lamar at the party because Drake was there performing, which seems impossible to me that you cannot play the song of the summer at what is supposedly the party of the summer.

But I guess you don't want to disrespect Drake in that situation. But it made it feel like as cool as that party and popular as that party is, Kendrick kind of made it feel whack by releasing his video on the same day, dressing in all white while his criticism of Drake is that he is a white person culturally who is stealing black culture while all you famous black celebrities are at this party dressed in all white.

Kendrick's won the summer, guys. I wish he could run for president. Kind of made the white party feel like the live tour. I agree. Yeah. It's sort of like, what did you say? Oh, okay. There's a whole authoritarian vibe here. I don't know how much you've kept up with the beef, but you would definitely appreciate how methodical and disciplined Kendrick has been from the beginning of it. Like, it seems like every play, every move that he's made has been well thought out, years to plan, all the way to the pop out, um,

concert to the music video release. It's just been massive. - It's prestige-like. You gotta be willing to cut off your finger. You gotta do everything for the bid. - Speaking of the prestige, we stuffed David into a white cake and loaded it into the party. The prestige. - What a pop out. - Hellen of truth. - That too. - I'm in for whatever we would do. It'd be very good. I think the better person to go to that party though would be Stu Gatz.

Him walking around that party. Somebody mentioned it. You made me think of it. Someone mentioned this earlier that they like evaluate people's. Yeah, I saw a clip. I don't know if it was from this year or another year. I think he was on part of my take saying that the end of every year they evaluate everyone's performance and they cut 75 people because there's a 350 person max. Oh my God. So every year there's 75 people chopped off. So stupid.

- Except for the business people. - Stugatz's white clothes would be stained yellow by his fingers. - Exactly right, terrible. I feel like as a party participant, Pablo would be the best of the people that are here and Stu probably be pretty good. I think I'd be among the worst. - Because you would just refuse to actually make small talk. - Oh yeah, I think so. I mean, I'm just not a party type of guy. I'm a good time sometimes, but like-- - What do you like? - You guys. - Scary videos.

You guys. So I think more than anything, it was small, like small interactions that are like genuine. Whereas party, I feel like is unless you're unless you're drunk, it's a lot more performative. This is this isn't true. We were in Vegas for the Super Bowl and Dominique said he didn't like parties. Next thing you know, he was he was tickle fighting Brandon Marshall at Jason Kelsey's Super Bowl party and didn't want to leave. Didn't want to leave. As I mentioned before. Who won the tickle fight?

Man, undefeated against B. Mars. He couldn't get open against me. I had two picks against him when we played them. And also, plenty of tickle wins. He's so big and cuddly. Not ripped like me. Can I introduce Dominique to a new friend after the break?

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Don Libetard. I want to talk to Hannah, the astrophysicist, and I want to make bets with her. She's so smart. Not Ian. No. No. See, this is what I want to do with our show. No, not. No. Don't let Billy's team of dumb demons spew all over the bottom of this company and piss all over the show. No. Stugatz. Ian broke down everyone that was drafted on the offensive line, except centers because the Jets didn't need one. Let's have Ian go against the astrophysicist head-to-head.

And let's see, let's put some money on it. You're informed idiot or Lucy's actually smart person who doesn't know anything. But at least we're going to choose an astrophysicist and not Taylor's roommate who's not named Ian. This is the Don Labatar Show with the Stoogads.

Dominique keeps lobbing very philosophical questions. They're not for now. These are like potential fallbacks. We're about to start the show. I know. We already had something to talk about and then I throw something out because I'm like, alright, we gotta do a lot of hours for a lot of weeks.

So let's just have stuff. You're just chumming the waters. No, I just got to feel, give people stuff in their head. This is how you do the show. You guys don't know how to do this. I know how to do this. I'm writing it down in the doc. Exactly. But like, you just see what sparks people and then you have it for later. Here's the tricky part is that, and you'll find this out throughout the week. Every day it's different people.

So, like, you're chumming the water with people who may not be here tomorrow. So if you get a bite, then that fish may not be there tomorrow. I got you. However, we still have a lot today. So, like, we're headed into... We don't. This is it. This is the last segment? Yeah. We're done. We're finished. Yeah. Time flies. Blue guy today. Well, in that case... Yeah. This river was not lazy. No, it was full of milk. Oh, gosh.

Be a weird river. Nice job, David! Nice job! Just let it go. Just let it sit there, baby! Let it simmer. I deserve that. Boiled. Why would the river be filled with milk? Please don't become a Samson. Can I confess how much I watched the Team USA assembling videos? Again, algorithmic. I'm now getting served all of the Team USA content, and I've been watching all of it. And part of it just makes me feel like a kid.

Like, I don't know if you guys can show this as B-roll, but it's like watching LeBron dap up Steph. I watched a lot of it, too. I watched the video of them all trying to spin a basketball. I watched videos of them practicing. It was good stuff. How amazing was it that Steph and LeBron can't spin a basketball with their fingers? It was shocking. Well, I missed this one. Yeah. So everyone was doing like their little isolated, like, photo shoot sort of things. And they were asking him social media questions. And they would ask them all questions.

Could you spin a basketball? And Steph was very embarrassed that he could not. And then there were some other players. I think it might have been AD who kind of was like, of course. They asked him, do you think other players can? And they were like, of course. Like, who can't spin a basketball on their hand? And Steph can't. LeBron can't.

I just figured that I was beyond being like starstruck as like a cynical fan of anything. And I'm like watching these guys enter the room one after the other. Like Kevin Durant. Kevin Durant has never looked cooler to me than he is like walking into a ballroom to meet all of these guys. It feels like... Not meeting them. Seeing them you mean.

Like, what's the big deal? They're acting like they've just never spent time together. Meeting them as in, like, it's a meeting. You made so much progress. Hey, guys, one step at a time. Now we have gone past the stage where we can give him new things to work on. We're at the end of the show, so we've got to encourage him now, guys. So let's not point out any more Samson mistakes. So I can't do it, but you can do it. No, no, no, I'm done. I'm done. It's because you're a woman.

Okay. I don't think Jessica's ever had a problem doing it. Her name's Lucy. I don't know what's happening anymore, and I don't like it. You're in charge today. Yeah. Pablo, did you see the video of Embiid flopping against college kids in their first college? I don't like this either. Seriously, because you're so taken by this scene. It's a good question. I hope they don't have that video. Do you watch this video of them getting together like, man, I wonder if they can win the gold? Do you think Embiid's going to sit out if they play Serbia? Kind of.

Okay. Do you think Giannis is upset he's not in that room? Oh, man. I saw him crying after Greece made it. I think he was crying after they made it. It was a big thing. It was them and Slovenia. Yeah, they beat Luka. Winner gets in, basically. That brings up an interesting question. Do you think these guys would rather be the one guy on the team, like Giannis, or rather be on the—

this essentially another dream team where you are a piece of the puzzle. So I think that being on this specific team does feel special because the people who are on it are actually like the best players in the league who are American. So to me, there is something that makes me, um,

Again, kind of childlike about, like, I can't believe Anthony Edwards and LeBron and Steph and KD and Joel Embiid and Kawhi Leonard and all these guys are together. Kevin Durant. Kevin Durant. Don't leave him out. He's in there, too. Kevin Durant, they're giving interviews now. It just feels like...

Team USA, for people who don't know, every four years, it's not just about, are they going to win the gold medal, as Billy was insultingly characterizing it. It's also that you get inside of this network where, again, in past years, this is where

stuff has really come to pass. This is where super teams had been formed. This is where friendships are made that reshape the league. And I think that Team USA at its best in an era when it's actually unclear whether the

the gap between Team USA and the second best team, how big that even is anymore. I think it all adds to this level of something special is happening, which I, again, am indulging fully. I'm really into this Olympic team. I think Giannis has more appreciation and more emotion for Greece than anybody in that room has for the U.S. He wants to win. If he can get something accomplished as the only guy, quote unquote, for his country, it would be spectacular.

so meaningful versus going in as the dream team. It's like, is the dream team in 92, they were going to win. They won. It was expected that can never feel as good as when you're not supposed to win. Yeah. I mean, I think you said in this room now is different than on the podium when they get metal. So like on the podium, I think that, yeah, Giannis, if Giannis wins a gold, silver, bronze, he's going to be happier than any, uh,

Any of the U.S. players, no matter what medal they win. But emotion tied to it, I'm not sure that I would differentiate. See, to me it's also, David, it's about making this team. Because this is like the dream team. This isn't like prior Olympic teams. This is four of the 20 best players ever. Steph has never been on an Olympic team before. LeBron and Steph, the most...

You know, influential players of the generation, Kevin Durant, Kawhi Leonard, that's the Mount Rushmore of the last 15 years of the NBA. And so if you're Anthony Edwards, if you're Tyrese Halliburton, getting to play with them is incredibly meaningful, even if it's not about winning the medal for. Steph Curry never was on a team because he was hurt, didn't want to be because he didn't make one.

I assume that was the first two. Has to be the first two. Would be my guess. So this is the first time he's been healthy enough to play? It's still a significant thing. No matter the reason why you haven't done it before, it's significant that this is the first time that you're doing it. And this team is different than I think last year or last year. Last Olympics team had some guys on it that...

were playing a role that were not like greatest of all time. It's like there are only guys on this team right now are in that great conversation or about to be. Also, the last Summer Olympics was so weird because of COVID and there were like no fans there and a lot of people were sick and missed it at the last minute. It was just such a cluster that I'm like really, really excited for the Summer Olympics because it feels like the first like full Olympic cycle that we've had in like eight years. Except for the swimming part.

Why? No one's read about the Sen and the shit in the Sen? Oh, we talked about it a couple weeks ago. Yes, there was going to be a poop protest. It failed. So they failed a couple days ago, so now they're making alternate plans for the marathon, swim, and the triathlon, including making the triathlon a duet. Du-ath-

- A duathlon? - No, a duathlon. - A duathlon. - A biathlon? - Oh! - That's the word. - It very well could be that, but I think it's duo. I think it starts with duo, but just getting rid of the swim and the triathlon, which is insane, just making it the bike and the run, and the billions of dollars that France has spent to clean up the Seine, it's been wasted.

Pun intended. A biathlon is a winter sport that combines cross-country skiing and rifle shooting. Oh, yeah. Not that. They're not doing that in the river. No. So I think it is duathlon. Keldon Johnson was on the 2020-21 U.S. Men's Olympic team. Just FYI.

Every, not every time, but there are quite a few Olympic events that I look up and I heard you guys talking about steeplechase before. Duathlon is another example of it where you're like, man, should this be an Olympic event? But it makes me feel better about adding things like breakdancing where it's like, this is weird. But then I look and it's like, hey, they're out here doing all this other foolishness. Why can't we do a little, throw out some cardboard and get busy and get a medal for it? What about twirling?

How do you feel about twirling? What's twirling? I have a quick twirling story. Yes. My friend did it growing up. It's insane. It's super hard. They do it while the thing's on fire. I don't understand it. I was playing pickleball indoors, and next to me there were two people training for the twirling championships in Sweden.

And they're trying to get twirling into the Olympics in eight years. And so they're making a big twirl push. And the way they practice the twirling, they're throwing this thing up in the air. And it's the highest indoor ceiling in Long Island. Speaking of hitting the ceiling of this particular show, joining us now over Zoom is Brad. Whoa! We did it!

Brad! Brad, welcome to the show. David Sampson is sitting next to me. We've been investigating a story that... You look great, man. ...that I wonder how much you recall about.

The story of you paying $500 to a former, now former Marlins bat boy and him barfing very white barf all over the clubhouse, I suppose. Yeah, I just, I was shocked. I mean, David laid the hammer on that poor kid.

At that point, it was, let me think, it was 10 games for steroids and how long for milk, Samson? Six games, Brad. Six games, that poor kid. Are you sure that's all that was? No, it was forever. It was a lot more than six games.

Man, you look great. Thank you. I appreciate it. How are you guys doing? Good to see you. It's great to see you. Way to change the subject. So did you agree with David Sampson's decision to eliminate this poor guy's pension over a little bit of a little milk vomit? Absolutely not. Not even. I mean, the kid still did his job. He did throw up, but then he moved on and did everything he was supposed to do that day, and he didn't miss anything.

miss any work. So no, I didn't agree with it. Brad, did you supplement his income once he was let go? Not his responsibility. Because you felt badly? Not his responsibility. I think we all kicked in quite a bit. Yeah, he probably was way better off. Part of the story. How much did David Sampson kick in? He actually might have fined the kid and taken some of that pot from him.

Brad, did you know that David also fired and eliminated the pension of his brother? We learned that from Nick. Of who? Nick's brother. Oh, so he got both of them for the milk. Two for one, yeah. Wow. That sounds like something David would do, though. I mean, you know that risk when you work for him. Right, David? Yeah.

Every day is a new day, Brad. You could be with us. You could be traded. You could win a ring. You just never know. That is true. I'll never forget when I got traded. Guys, you'll love this. I went in there and this was right after we won the World Series. And we kind of, as a team, we talked. And I went in, I think it was Mike at the time, maybe Mike Hill. I went in there and said I would take a discount if we could keep this team together. And literally within a week, I was gone.

Wait, we just argued about taking discounts with LeBron James earlier in the show. David was on the other side of that argument. David on the other side of the argument. Brad, in all of our years together, never once have I heard you utter the words, I would take a discount. You're calling this man a liar? 100% true. Who did you want us to keep? You wanted Pudge back? No, no, no. Just.

Just the core group. Just us. You know, me and Josh and those guys. I think it was Mike. I talked to Mike and I said, here's what I'll take to stay. And I mean, I'm actually worked out better for me because I got about double what I would have stayed for. You're welcome.

By the way, judging on where you're at, I just would like to say things worked out very well for you, Mr. Penny. Yeah, for people not watching. He seems to be patrolling in a state of some sort, which looks beautiful. I got four kids, so I'm trying to find a spot where I could possibly not be interrupted.

How did you settle on $500 as the amount of money you would pay Nick Cirillo if he did not barf milk all over the clubhouse? So it was just a bet. And it had been going on, you know, for a little bit. And we said, we'll give you, it was me actually. I said, Nick, I'll give you 500 bucks. If you can drink this milk and keep it down for an hour. And I mean, it took him to the very last minute to get it down. And,

I mean, it was hilarious. It was like a stream. I can't even explain to you how hard he threw up. Please try. I mean, I can't. I mean, it was a good... What kind of exit velocity are we talking? Oh, big time. Big time. I mean, I've never seen anything like it unless it was on the Exorcist movie. Yeah, Law Jangle. It was unbelievable.

How many heaves? Was it two, three heaves? Just one long stream. Whoa! We thought he would die. He could have died. Just on a side note, never mentioned before is the fact that he could have died. Could have. He didn't. I mean, everybody could die. You think the $500 may have come from your per diems? I don't know. I don't know.

I know this. I know you were so concerned about that kid dying, you fired him. That's exactly right. I'm a good guy. I don't want anyone to die on my watch. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. Die on your own time. Oh, David. Brad. That is how... That was the... Brad. I can't believe you found Brad. Has anyone successfully...

I'm trying to find out the answer to this question. Has anyone ever successfully chugged a gallon of milk inside of an hour and not vomited? Not on my watch. I've done it several times, and no one has passed that test. What?

You did it more in your career or since you retired? Don't tell who you did it because David will go find them and try to fire them. As a Marlin? When you were a Marlin, you did it again? Nope, I did it at other organizations. Got it. Good answer, Brad. I wasn't even on the Marlins when I did it the first time. I was with the Dodgers. I was in the visiting club house. Did anybody get fired for that time?

That was the time. The time with him. I would have done it as a Marlin, but I thought I'd get released. Who would ever do that? I would only have done that. I would never do that working for Samson. I knew that I better wait until I get traded. Brad, before we let you go, what is your favorite ride at Disney World? At Disney World? I do go a lot. I've got a lot of kids. Man, I don't know. It's been a while since I've been there.

We usually go to, you know, I like the Tower of Terror. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. I always talk to my guardians. Brad, thank you. You got it, man. No problem. Brad Penny, thank you for completing our investigation. We can all rest now that the truth has been found. The Tower of Terror, also known as David Sampson's office.

Summer's the best time to run the way you want. Dial it up with new challenges and programs and bring your workouts with you to make the most of outside sunny days. Stugatz, guess what? What? You know what you can do with Peloton? What? Get the app, go outside, ride a bike. Well, I thought you ride Peloton inside. Well, you do, you can ride Peloton inside if it's a rainy day or if it's cloudy or you just don't want to get outside, maybe it's too hot.

summertime, go outside. I record a lot from my office with you and you've noticed it's sitting there yet. It hasn't been used. Well, now's the time. Summer's the best time to start that push. Right. Can we do it together? Not on the same bike, but we could join a class together. I used to do that. We used to have Guillermo Tan. I'd invite people. We'd all take a class together. Okay. So I think you're starting to get concerned about my health and my age, Billy. I,

I sense that with you. We're beyond starting. Okay. Whatever road lies ahead, your training starts here with Peloton Tread and Tread Plus. It's not just a bike, a treadmill too. I'm going to go outside. I'm going to get in shape. I'm going to do it with Billy Gill. I want to be in your class. I want you to be my instructor. You know what? I won't be your instructor. You don't want to spend more time with me. No, I can schedule a class and we can ride together. I won't be the instructor of the class. We can have Camila could be our instructor. I like the Grateful Dead class. My daughter, she uses the Peloton. Mm-hmm.

She was on it once and an instructor who was playing Grateful Dead tunes. Let's do that. Okay. Why don't we go for a run outside? Guided run. Peloton. Me and you. That's something we can do together. Okay. Turn on the app. Me and you go outside. Enjoy the summer. Call yourself a runner with Peloton at onepeloton.com slash running. All right.

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