Local Hour: A Little Bit Of A Dum-Dum
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Welcome back, Billy. Hey, thank you. I've missed you. Have you? Why? I mean, a number of different reasons. I'm not very missable. I'm not very memorable also. I'm shocked to hear. I've met a number of people that say nice to meet you after I've met them a number of times. I had this one couple in particular that we'd go over to our friend couple's house for all kinds of events, like pumpkin carvings. When you first get married or right before you get married, new couples, pumpkin carving and gingerbread houses and all.

friends givings and all of those things that you do with new young couples. So anyways, so we go over to that and every time I'd meet this couple they'd say nice to meet you. And I realized I'm not a memorable person. I'm very forgettable.

Still miss him? I do. And I did especially last week. I mean, I'm happy we've got him this week. I was afraid he was going to need two weeks off. Billy's been working very hard. What's wrong with this week? No, no. I'm thrilled that you're back because this week you can be our...

national and international pole vaulting authority for the American mainstream because nobody is more associated. There's no one in this country, I don't think, that has more fame for their pole vaulting expertise than you. And we had a dong incident and I don't know how common it is. Earl Bell would like to disagree.

That's a famous pole vaulter. I don't know why his dong hit the pole and how often that happens, but a lot of people found that story interesting. So I'm glad we have you this week. But last week, I felt, was an epic week in Marlins baseball. And I wanted your emotions. What happened? Well, the room is flat. Well, they traded everybody. What? Yes. Again? Again?

What's in here? And the entire room doesn't care at all. Like, nobody cared at all. We're numb to it. I didn't care. I went out and tried to help this team, okay, the Marlins, find a fan that could name somebody on the current roster. How was that helping? I went out and did the legwork, Dan. What are you doing to help? Trying to spread information. He was raising awareness. Yeah, raising awareness. Were you telling them the names of the players on the team? No, because I didn't know them. Okay.

I'm going to play that video here to lead the show because we failed with that video. Tony succeeded. Tony did his job very well. But...

I did not run long and hard enough with the idea that we wrecked an entire kid's childhood fandom right there on television. Like, and didn't even address it. Just steamrolled a kid in an Arbetters who was just there to love baseball and have hot dogs with his dad. Literally. And then he gives us three wrong answers. And damn it, all of them deserve to be right. When he hit us with Avisel Garcia, like, that kid's got to get the $20. $20.

Yeah, well, three strikes, you're out, Dano. Had to rip the 20 from his little hands. You stole money from a child. No, no, no. I gave him the $20. I put it on the table. I said, hey, kid, if you can name me a current Miami Marlin, this $20 is yours. And again, in kid math, $20 is like a million dollars. I'd argue that exposing that child to Abisal Garcia is worse than trading Abisal Garcia away from the child. Billy, I'm going to play this video for you, and you tell me. We did not do enough with it. We need to lead the show with it. I don't care what happened at the Olympics.

This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stukas Podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Welcome back, Billy. His first moments in the chair and he sees me. He sees he looks at my face and sees me in rage.

because i asked for something on saturday morning and right now what's being shouted from the other room is just stall for 30 seconds yep stall for 30 seconds little stretch daniel yeah while while billy our panicked uh head of metal arc audio came in here and you said hey carl because he hands me a sheet of paper while you're talking that just says shrinkers on it while i'm stretching shrinkers coming up well good news the video is ready if you want to go to that but

shrinkers. I'm handed a piece of paper. Stugatz, this is why I'm saying this isn't the best way to do this on a Monday morning after you've had a weekend of planning, okay? Stugatz, tell me what shrinkers are. The piece of paper that I was handed while Billy was talking about his vacation travails. I have no idea. I'm thinking like shrink wrap. I don't know, like a machine. You put something in, it shrinks it down. Okay, let's be

slightly more organized than this. Shriners are the ones that drive around in the little cars. Slightly more. Right? They're characters from Beetlejuice. They'll be here in a little bit.

What? Yeah. Shrinkers. Shrinkers are going to be here in a little bit. I understand. I'm glad the planning of the weekend has gotten to you guys and everybody's confused by what it is that I'm talking about. Shrinkers are coming into studio? Yes. Something known as shrinkers. But before we get to that, they tell me they now have this video. And I really do feel like we failed, Billy, because this kid knows his baseball.

This kid is there with his father who does not know his baseball. His father didn't want any part of Tony's trivia game. Shrunk it up. He said he's a Yankee fan. I don't know anything about the Marlins. I don't even want your $20. The kid wanted to play. The kid kept swinging and missing and just had a bunch of adults laughing at him. I'm telling you, we wrecked the kid on television the other day. Kind of like the Marlins. We just steamrolled his fandom.

and him and didn't even bat an eye. Billy, look at what happened here to this poor kid because this kid knew what he was doing. Here we go. All right. Name me a current Miami Marlin. Jorge Soler. No. That was last year. He was traded last year. He's brave now, I believe. He got traded. Say it again. Jazz Chisholm. No. Your dad's pretty happy about him now. Two strikes. You know how baseball. Two strikes. He got one more strike.

Who's the second one you said? -Avisel Garcia. -Avisel Garcia. Judges?

Strike three. Rip that $20 bill away from that table. One of the worst contracts in baseball. So we've got Stugatz. This is what I'm telling you. So close. We aired. We're reckless as a show. Mike Ryan last week had the take of the week for trying to defend his fragile four-year-old daughter from the crying of a tennis player.

And we just took a kid's fandom and we ransacked him. And here's the worst part of it. Like his father's right there. And you could see the disappointment on his father's face. It reminded me of being bad at math. And old Boppy would just start screaming at me. Like, look at the disappointment on a father here who he was ready to be proud. That's what the Marlins do to their youngest customers. Now, it's our fault because we're a virus that carries it.

But we wrecked that kid, Stugatz. Yeah. How about the dad help him out? I mean, just sit there. He couldn't. He tried. The kid was better. He said, what about the second one you gave me? And his dad led him right into the bear trap. Do me a favor. Don't be disappointed with your kid when you can't do it yourself. What's this get up to? He doesn't follow Craig Mish? He doesn't follow Jeff Passan? He doesn't know what's going on with the Marlins? I mean, it's on the kid. The dad should give him $20.

Stugatz, hold on for a second. Don't be disappointed in your kid if you can't do it yourself. I don't know how you are as a father this way, but I would imagine if your fatherhood was anything like your sports criticism, that you would be exactly the father who would criticize his child for, or expect more from his child on something he himself could not do. I'm just saying my kid would get it right. If you asked Rachel to name a match, she would be able to name a

Met a single Met that's all I'm saying like that like dad honestly don't be disappointed you can't give Tony the answer and you can't help your kid out so don't be disappointed when the kid chokes under pressure for $20 by the way that looks like a great sandwich shop it really looks so good in fairness obviously Garcia's still on the Marlins payroll like they just DFA'd him

So, like, I feel like he's still collecting checks. I mean. Well, let me. I think we got some stuff wrong because Soler wasn't traded, right? He left as a free agent and then he was traded, right? He left as a free agent. So we got that wrong. It's hard to keep track of. He was traded last week to the Braves. Yeah, he was traded. We were on top of that. No, I know. But I'm saying that before that. Crazy deadline, huh?

Yeah, a real fun deadline. Very exciting. We didn't talk that much about it. You weren't here to enjoy baseball with us. I wasn't. And, you know, I would just see the Marlins players getting traded. I was surprised, honestly, and this is going to sound bad with all due respect to the Marlins. I was surprised that they were able to move a lot of the pieces that they moved and get back in exchange what they did. They seemingly rebuilt their farm system, which we've heard a number of times. So we'll see. But I trust this guy more to do it. Do you not? No. Why? Why?

Well, just because the Rays... He's been here five minutes. I'm sure Peter Bendix is a great lad and all, but I don't know him from Tom, Dick, or Harry. I don't know if he knows what he's doing. You were just excited about this two seconds ago. No, I'm not excited. I was surprised they were able to move as many pieces as they did, and they were able to get as many caliber prospects back that they got back. For who? Who surprised you? Because I've told you I don't understand the...

The baseball has become so fast-evolving, Stugatz, that a left-hander like Puck, to me, I watch him pitch, and I'm like, nobody should be able to hit that. But he's got control issues. Like, who were the guys that you had that you were surprised they were able to get anything back for? Well, I was...

On the flip side, I was kind of disappointed that Bell went and we didn't really get anything for Bell. They just kind of took salary for him, maybe a player to be named later because they were just trying to get rid of his salary. I saw a thing the other day, and I don't know how accurate this is, but I'm going to tell you as though it is accurate, that the Marlins pay the second most amount

to players not on their team. I think only the Yankees were higher than them. So the Marlins are paying close to $60 million in players to not play for the Marlins. And I think that their salary is like $14 million for players to play for the Marlins, which isn't how you want to do it, typically. Well, but Billy, this part's funny, right? And this is where I missed you, because the appalling mismanagement of this franchise that now gets another...

clean up. Avisal Garcia is one of those pieces. They're paying him a ton. He's terrible here. He was just truly terrible here, but they skate on all of it. Like there's not, there aren't any great, I'm curious what you think of this Stugatz because Thomas out there was telling us while they were booking shrinkers that

that he saw that 40 Marlins fans were on a flight to Atlanta to watch the Marlins split against the Braves. Big series. Big win. Well, not a win, but split. That's dedication, man. And so he was wondering what a sad trip it was for those Marlins fans. And what I thought to myself was how this show had failed those fans because this show stopped caring about shit like last week, and those fans still care about that stuff.

It's not the show's fault. It's not our fault. We stopped caring about the Marlins because the Marlins have given us every reason to stop caring about them. I mean... I imagine they booked that trip.

before the trade deadline. I don't think that they were inspired by the trade deadline to go to Atlanta, per se. But, hey, I don't think they've lost a series since the All-Star break. They're getting hot at the right time, the Marlins, right now. They have split against the Braves. Watch out for the Braves. May miss the postseason. Just mark my words. May miss the postseason. Billy, weren't you jealous of Roy getting to win the Stanley Cup, Mike getting to win the Stanley Cup, Mike getting to the final season

finals again and again with Jeremy winning the summer league with the heat. It's about time for your team around here. Do you know how much joy our fans, our show would get from you making some sort of run because they fixed their farm system and they didn't have, you know, all the incompetence that they've had for so many years down here. I think my value to the fans is my misery.

I think that they enjoy me suffering more than they would enjoy my happiness. Agreed. I think they'd want to see me get frustrated. They'd want to see the fire sail Billy. They'd want to see the one that's trying to get Louis Princeton into the All-Star game, a career regret of mine. They want to see these things.

They want to see our team suffer because suffering is more entertainment than success. Well, this is the thing, though. And Stugatz, Billy has become an extraordinarily popular character in this world. And he knows better than I think anyone around here in the cruelty of the Internet. He will not give them any vulnerabilities. Like, I can't get a care about.

public care out of Billy on anything this team does. Does it suck that Jazz hit 8,000 home runs as soon as he went to the Yankees? Yes. Was I happy about that? No. I was happy for him, I suppose, because we made a date to go to the Bahamas together, which still hasn't happened. That's right. Was I happy to see him hit two home runs in a back-to-back game? No, I was not super happy about that. No, it didn't make me happy. I was getting texts as if I was a member of Jazz's family.

The day that he got traded. Everybody was telling me jazz, Yankees, jazz, Yankees, jazz. It's like, I got it. Leave me alone. Okay. Yeah. On vacation. Um, the timeline here, maybe. You were getting pelted on your vacation. Yeah. Everybody talking to me about jazz and how great jazz doing. I'm happy for jazz. I'm so happy for jazz. Not happy for me. Right. But you weren't happy watching him hit home runs for the Yankees.

No. No, I wanted it. But you're happy for him. I feel like he's hit as many homeruns for the Yankees as he did for the Marlins this season. That short porch needs to be banned. Don't even get me started on the short porch. It's unfair. You're right. It's ridiculous. Jazz was down here saying it was going to be a 40-40 guy, right? It's like, dude, let's be a 15-15 guy first, okay? Like, enough with the 40-40 stuff. I love Jazz. But let's 15-15 first, and let's not try for a homerun every time. Now he can. What?

What is the wall out there in Yankee Stadium? 270 feet? It's been that porch forever. It is. It is. And they built a new stadium and they still built that little cheat wall out there. It's absurd. It is an unfair advantage. You have to question all the Yankee records. No, it's great. You do. I would go back in the record book and do it. You're so right. You really need to. It is the most 1950s thing there is anywhere in baseball. The fact that they insisted on keeping that a short porch in right field. Back before medicine. Back before.

players were 6'9", 250 pounds. Back when Roger Maris, Stugat said that last week, how's he not in the Hall of Fame? Because he had that one season with the short porch where every fly ball goes right out of the park.

Here, Chaz was constantly trying to hit home runs and it would go to the warning track. And it's like, Chaz, just get on base. Run around, steal bases. Like, enough. You don't need to be trying to. Now he hits the ball the same distance it's in the upper deck in New York. That's ridiculous. That's wonderful. No, it's not. It is. It's ridiculous. You are funny, though, in how you just casually say the Marlins are paying other players to play.

Like four times that they're paying them to play for us. Well said by me. Yeah, nailed it. The Marlins are paying other teams and designating for assignment a bunch of salary. The other team might be good. Did you see that Josh Bell home run, Billy? Oh my gosh. That hurt too, right? That was a scorcher. What a weird start to that game in Pittsburgh the other day, huh? There was a triple and then there was an error and then there was a home run and back-to-back-to-back home runs.

Rough day at the office. That's one of the hardest hit balls I've ever seen in my entire life. Wait, but do you guys agree with Dan? Like seeing Josh Bell do that, did that hurt? Like who cares about Josh Bell? I don't care about Josh. Well, I'm lamenting like the suffering that the Marlins fans. Josh Bell was a big part of a playoff team. That was a playoff team last year. Look, I understand you don't care about anything, but the man took a discount because he enjoyed the four good minutes of baseball we had.

Did he take a discount or did he realize that the money wasn't out there last offseason so he opted in to get $18 million a year? Oh, yeah. You think that he was going to get $18 million a year? I like him as a player. I do, too. But the market last year dried up. He wasn't going to get $18 million. You don't think that was about enjoying yourself? Blake Snell won the Cy Young and wasn't on the team until like...

a week before the season started. I didn't know that. And then he sucked, and then he pitched a no-hitter. And no one cares. He had two Cy Youngs. Here's the thing about Blake Snell. Blake Snell, and this is like a popular thing that goes around. Okay, so Blake Snell has two Cy Youngs.

Right? And before he pitched his no-hitter this past weekend, had never gone into the eighth inning of a baseball game. Two Cy Youngs. Nolan Ryan has seven no-hitters and zero Cy Youngs. What are we doing with you trying to foul a ball off of Nolan Ryan? Have we done anything? Well, I

I'm ready whenever he wants to show up. I'm here. I'll do it right here, right now. We'll send you to Houston. We're going to get a sponsor. No, no, no. He's got to come to me. I'm not going to Houston. By the way, they didn't lose anything in Houston. Jazz home runs in Miami 8.

in New York for? We had the stat last week that he had three multi-home run games as a Marlin in 401 tries. He had two in three games as the Yankees. And what I was trying to spit out earlier is you have to admit it's amazing mismanagement when they put you in the same breath as the Yankees for erasing mistakes by just paying for them to go away.

Like, that's unbelievable. The Yankees are a payroll for all time for 50 years. They're always one of the lead payrolls. The Marlins cannot be in that company. But let's move on to other subjects. It may have been the Mets. But you don't want to be in the Mets category either. Either one. It may have been the Mets. Even though they've been hot. How the Mets do guts? The Mets are good. The Mets are a wild card team right now. The Metropolitan. It's a rebuild for 300 plus million dollars. They did it the perfect way.

Everybody gave up on the season early because Rod Darling and Keith Hernandez were just sobbing in the booth saying this is the lowest it's ever been and then they fixed all of that.

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Official sleep and wellness partner of the NFL. See store for details. Don Levitard. We didn't get to your guys' against the spread. You're right, you're right, you're right. I don't have an against the spread. Oh, well. Because I wasn't prepared for this segment. You need an Ian in your life. You have actively played defense against me today in a way that has rarely been this undercutting. Stugatz. Defense wins championships, baby. That's show business. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.

But I wanted to get something from the weekend, Stugatz. Do you have any idea, any idea whatsoever what happened with Noah Lyles? Noah Lyles. Okay, so you don't know who Noah Lyles is? Olympics. Getting warmer. Track and field. Do you know what happened with him or no? I know he won something. Do you know how he won? Because him winning wasn't interesting, but all of it. I think we can all agree.

That is artistic and symbolic that in 2024, the way we decide athleticism is with technology. Because I still don't know who won that race. Like, you tell me he won by .05 seconds, okay, but that's usually horses that do it by a nose. I've never seen human beings do it by a nose. And that announcer will be haunted for the rest of his eternity. No one had a worse moment in track and field than that guy. So let's tell Stugatz the story and get him caught up on the weekend because I wanted...

to get to other stuff, including Stugatz thinking that Adam Vinatieri should be in the Hall of Fame. But what happened with Noah Lyles was the story of the weekend because there's never been a race that close and you've never had an announcer name it for the wrong guy for eternity. Like...

What, Tony? You're shaking your head. Yeah, come on, Dan. It was a photo finish, right? We're looking at something where three guys are about to cross the line at literally the exact same time. Like, as a play-by-play guy, you're like, God, can somebody pull away here? It's like, how do you call it? Well, but you can't call it for somebody else. You can't call it for the second-place finisher. No, man, that guy will eat his face off. Like, announcers who care about that stuff –

they get one chance like that for all time 100 yards hard to pull away i mean 100 meters he decided it was a very close race and it looked like a photo finish as it was happening and yeah there was a late surge and i think everyone i think initially thought that maybe that was the result possibly aided by the play-by-play guy but you got to lean on what's the finish going to be here like or just really accentuate the fact that it's close but he decided to

go for it all and decide to back a winner for an iconic call and he just missed out on the winner. It's like the, was it Miss America or Miss Universe where they called the wrong person? Yeah.

That was a tough one, too. Was that Steve Harvey? Was it Steve Harvey? Yeah. He rebounded. Yeah. Look at him. He sure has. Track's weird, huh? It has to be your chest that goes across. Because if your foot or your arm goes across first, it doesn't matter. I didn't understand that rule. It's a weird one. Jamaican dude definitely had the foot down first. That's what I'm saying. If you just see this still, it's super confusing. You're like, wait, this person looks like he's the fourth class.

Let me hear the call here because this is for all time. You get one shot at this. This is one we're all watching. These numbers for the Olympics are huge and this is one of the signature events. You've got to get this right. You cannot go back and fix this after you've done it. Thompson. Noah. I think it's Noah. Noah. Noah.

You got Michael Johnson's watching the race and he doesn't know what happened. That's not the call, though. The guy, he's... Yeah, we can't play the call. It's the Olympics. Very expensive. Very expensive. He called the wrong winner. I mean, you got to call him as you see him, Dan. No, you got to say it's a photo finish. That's the bailout. Yeah, I know that you were trying to get to the end, but you said the fact that he won isn't interesting. Yes, it is. It's very interesting. He talked a lot before this Olympics. He's also overcome a lot. Now he can walk around the Olympic Village and taunt Team USA basketball until they do their job. It's pretty interesting. Yeah.

He's the world's fastest man. So forgive me. I spoke too fast. If that is what I said, that it wasn't interesting. I just think that the announcer in that moment is ravaging himself because of how hard it is to do that. And I do think in that moment, to the degree you've been paying attention to Noah Lyles for four years, you did see for half a nanosecond that

some kind of humility right after the race when he wasn't sure he had won and he was congratulating. He wasn't sure he had won. He did not know he had won. And so you saw humility from somebody a lot of people wanted to see humble. I was watching the...

start of the pre-race stuff on mute and that alerted me to change to the audio but it appeared like he was mouthing to himself this is my moment as he was getting ready so to have that pre-race routine to have that race that finish him tear off the Lyle's placard from his chest and hold it up in the air it was pretty iconic it's cool but I can't tell you how many times before track meet I said this is my moment and I know how I did the meet

It happens all the time. Every athlete that's out there is like, this is my Olympic moment. I can't wait. I'm going to show the world. Oh, no. I hit the bar. It's done. I'm eliminated. Five minutes after I began. Time to go home in shame. Why did I fly to Paris? Why am I sleeping on a cardboard box? It's all of them. All of them start the race thinking that, correct? But I think one of the things that's interesting about Lyle's winning is he represents –

uh... maximum american athlete bravado speed division that where wide receivers in football and track stars you better be the most confident person in the world and

In that sport, they're showing it to us all the time. There isn't a lot of fake humility in that sport. Those people have to be hugely arrogant and he's as arrogant as we've ever had. Like there were a whole lot of people rooting for him to lose because that doesn't feel like sportsmanship.

But in track and field, who cares about sportsmanship? And this is where the Olympics get wrapped up in the flag. And how are you representing our country? But you can see what it means to these athletes, even the pros, where Scheffler's crying and Djokovic is going crazy. Like you can see that it means something to these people to still play for the country. Stugantz, it is the coolest thing when sports is the best of us, right? Like these are hugely divided times like the Olympics.

a lot of times have a hell of a lot more politics than these have in them. And the athletes are representing us like they really deeply care about representing their flag and their country, a country that has made it hard for a whole lot of people, including black people.

Doesn't it warm your heart to see the reaction to this Olympics? It's harkening back to a bygone era. Olympic ratings kept going down. They were in a free fall. Everyone was talking about how live sports were in a free fall, and now they've bounced back in a major way. These are major talking points. People have been galvanized by what they see on the TV. These are massive numbers. I mean, 35 million people gathering around the tube as a family to watch Team USA. That's something that

was happening when I was a little kid. I'm so glad that it's back. You had a day over the weekend where it felt like a regular sports day. You had Scotty Scheffler. You had what felt to a lot of people like a major. It wasn't, by the way. Scheffler would give that gold medal back for a green jacket tomorrow. Really? I want to talk to you about the golf because it was happening at the same time and we kind of had to make a decision. You had them on both screens because...

The golf, you had players that were in top form. And the tennis, well, Olympic tennis isn't really height of the sport. The rules are a little bit different. That was, in terms of pure tennis being played, one of the all-time matches. Because it's not a five-setter, it won't get the attention. But every point in that match was an absolute war. And Djokovic.

to do that at his age with a knee injury. He almost retired during that Tsitsipas match because he couldn't move. It was visible for Djokovic to do that in the face of a dude that is so on right now. That was, this is I guess the Dan Lebitard show drinking game, coming for his stuff in profound ways. That's why you saw that reaction because yeah, it's a golden slam for Novak, but he realized I just did something that I myself doubted. Entering that match, he was a

substantive underdog in ways that we haven't really seen. That was probably the most impressive thing I've ever seen Djokovic do. On the other side, you had Alcaraz emotional that he let down his country. Listen, it was a great moment. I'm just saying, Djokovic gives that gold medal back if he can have the Wimbledon title. I'm serious. Alcaraz won the one that you want to win. Dan, my larger point is, D-E-T, I don't care. My larger point is,

Tennis, golf, they were not Olympic sports when these guys were born. They didn't grow up wanting to be Olympic champions. They grew up wanting to win the U.S. Open in Augusta. That's it. This is what I will tell you about what we're presently experiencing because it is pretty cool, Stugatz. We hit sort of a breaking point with the pandemic on just how everybody got battered in the head right after Kaepernick and that stuff in sports.

battered in the head with George Floyd marches and things are going to change now and things are going to be different. And then the pandemic Olympics happened and nobody was watching any of that. And now as live sports are king, as the streaming services are going to fight it out,

Peacock just threw a haymaker out of nowhere for Stugatz for the streaming service fight that is for all our dollars. I don't know if you saw it. Venue is now going to cost $42.99. If you want ESPN and Discovery and Fox, it's going to cost you $42.99 a month. Apple raised its prices because it can't.

A couple bucks up just because it can. They don't need your money, but it's a couple more bucks. They're raising it. Peacock has been pouring so much money into this. They just got the NBA and holy shit, the noise they've made with these Olympics covering them correctly. And Stugatz, this is one of the few times in our entertainment and broadcast history as sports fans that we're all going to the streaming service to make the numbers jump huge past Stugatz.

Amazon Football, because this is the explosion. Hey, aren't sports great? Yeah, in streaming service land, it's live sports are king. They're going to make or break everything you're doing for billions and billions of dollars. For these games to, so far, feel pretty apolitical at a divisive time, just making people feel good about winners, we win, we win.

And when they hand it off to L.A., Tom Cruise is going to do a closing stunt. It's being reported. So he's doing a closing stunt at Paris. But that's just half the stunt. Because then he's taking the flag and he's skydiving into the Hollywood sign. Not into it, but around it to deliver it to Los Angeles. The whole way? I'm...

A zip line the whole way. I would not count him out that this is a transatlantic squirrel suit situation for Tom Cruise. One shot. I would watch that on Gold Zone. He's going to take one shot. He's going to slingshot from Paris to the Hollywood sign with the torch the whole way. He's going to get there in nine seconds. Now we're talking.

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Don Levitard! Photography's not as hard as it's made out to be. And now with computers, I mean, you can make anything look like anything, Dan. It's almost cheating. It's not fair. If you push a button and it takes a thousand pictures, you're gonna find a good one in the batch. There were a lot of photographers there taking thousands of pictures. One got that photograph. Okay, good retort. Stugatz! Haven't you ever passed by photographers?

I guarantee you when that shot was taken, we didn't just hear, that's not what you heard. If you were by that camera, in my ear with that. He does a good camera. This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stugats. Stugats.

Have you guys noticed and been surprised by what a giant noise the Olympics had made? I legitimately, when the Olympics started, before the Olympics started, I could not remember in our history as a show

Us ever having a moment from the Olympics that we were excited about together as a show. I don't remember at any point in our history, this America being the America it used to be, which parents gathered around televisions with their kids to root on America because America was great.

because we were better at sports than everybody else. And I've legitimately been surprised. I don't know if the pandemic screwed me up. I don't remember us covering 2016 in a way that, like, what are the memorable moments that this show has ever had with the Olympics? And if I go back and say, give me a moment from our entire time talking about this. We talked a good deal about the Redeem team, and that was around LeBron, Big 3, Heat,

Wade looking as good as he did. LeBron with the slam magazine covers in his hand. So, redeemed team, I think we talked about. So, Olympic basketball, probably. Michael Phelps captured the nation. Phelps also happened in there. There you go. That's one moment. Who was the other swimmer guy? Oh, Ryan Lochte. Remember Lochte? For the wrong reasons. You loved him. You loved Lochte. Kind of a dumb-dumb Lochte. Come on. Wait a minute. He's a Florida Gator. He was a little bit of a dumb-dumb.

Right? That's fair to say. Is it not? Okay. That he's dumb? No, no. I didn't say he's dumb. Just a dumb-dumb. Yeah, there's a difference between a little bit of a dumb-dumb and he's dumb. I think he leaned in. I think you're good. Yeah. He leaned in. Yeah! Isn't that his thing? Here's why. Was it a reality show, too? Was it like looking for Lockthee or something like that? Yeah, and he was on the Traders. On Peacock. Full circle. I don't mean to make you feel...

Like you're bravely going past the woke. But if we've arrived at a place in language where I can't say that Lochte's a little bit of a dum-dum, you have taken away my American freedoms in a way I will not accept. Everyone knows Ryan Lochte's a little bit of a dum-dum. That was his brand. But a fun-dum. But you said, okay, put it on the poll, please, Juju. Was Lochte a fun-dum?

Or a dum-dum. A fun dum-dum-dum. You said kind of a dum-dum respectfully. And last week we were arguing about with all due respect and no offense being things that you say on the front end of something that end up turning into the opposite of what it is that you intended. You did it back end. You said kind of a dum-dum respectfully. And I don't think you can say that. Why? Why?

Because it's not that's never respectful. You can't say kind of an American hero. I'm not saying I mean, not like our firefighters and our police officers. Those are different teachers. And he's saying kind of he's not calling him a full dummy. First responders and military. Yeah. Who could forget? I mean, there's different levels of hero. Dumb. Dumb. Hero. Dumb. Dumb. Yeah. Well, that's that is what Ryan Lochte was.

He was a hero dum-dum. Respectfully works in both ways. You can have it pre-sentence and post-sentence. Respectfully works both. No, you got to put it on the front end. No, respectfully, you got to put it on the front end. You put it on the back end, you've already insulted. And now you're just softening what you know is an insult. He did the respectfully because he got scared of the woke. Well, I didn't intend to insult him, right? Huh.

I mean, I guess I'm asking myself. I know. Kind of a dum-dum is never a compliment. No, it is. Like a little, you know. No, no, not just because you say it is. Yeah, no, it's like a little silly goose. You think Lochte would say thank you? I mean. Lochte? Yeah. I think he'd agree. Really? Yeah. That he's kind of a dum-dum? He's, you know, just, you know.

Keep getting smaller. You know what I'm talking about. We don't know. What do you mean? Come on. You guys know what I'm talking about. You're pretending that you don't. Okay. I'm sorry. I think he's done with rocks. Whoa. That's too far. Respectfully. Yeah, respectfully. He's an American hero. He made a whole economy around him being dumb.

Smart. That's like- That is actually kind of smart. Yeah, I'm not gonna- you know, I was gonna give a comp, but I'm not going to because then I know what you guys are gonna do to me. And I'm not gonna fall for this trap today. Not gonna compare him to Gronk. You're not gonna fall for it! Put it on the pole, Juju!

What? Dumber than a box of rocks. We have a Simone Biles update. She fell on the beam this morning. I saw that before I left for work. Her and Suni Lee both fell and so failed to metal at the beam. And now on the floor routine, Rebecca Andrade.

From Brazil, a rival, a longtime rival of Simone Biles has taken the gold. Simone gets the silver. Rebecca got robbed of winning the gold for the vault. She did. I don't want to say this. Like, I love Simone Biles. I do. I really do. All right. I get how great she is. The athleticism. She's amazing. Everything she's been through. I get it. But she won a gold on the vault for simply being Simone Biles.

Respectfully. And Rebecca Andre, whatever her name is, this Brazilian. Here we go, respectfully as well. She is so good. Here's what I like with the vault, Dan.

I need you to stick the landing. I don't like any hops, okay? And Simone Biles hopped on both her vaults, and Rebecca did not. It's like 12 and a half feet in the air. I don't care how high you jump. I don't care how many twists and turns you do. You need to stick the landing. Rebecca stuck it twice. Simone did not. I'm telling you, Dan, I'm telling you, if Rebecca...

Okay? If she does the same vault as Simone Biles and Biles does Rebecca's, you know who wins? Biles. That's what I'm trying to say. You like that double step, that little hop? I don't like it. When you land, I want you to plant, stick it, blow out your knee if you have to. Carrie Strug didn't do that double step. Don't twist, don't turn, jump straight up in the air and just stick the landing. You do like that and then you hold it. If you do that and then you go back, I feel like it's not, that's not vaulting. The hops, I mean.

Mike, you whimpered in the middle of that the only context that matters as these two criticize a little hop from Simone Biles because they do their job with such perfect dismount. This isn't like some random competition in Tuscaloosa. Like, this is the Olympics. Like, we want sharp competition.

If you're going to give a gold, give it to someone that's true. You don't win reputation medals, Dan. Exactly right. Come on. Okay, but I understand in this country we're now celebrating ignorance as expertise. I understand that we're doing that. I would just say to you that when Mike whimpers, she's 11 and a half feet in the air, which I think is higher than any of the men can go.

Like it's an unbelievable height. She's allowed a bit of a hop, even though you too would like her not to hop because she's doing something no human being is able to do at that height. There's a degree of difficulty in what she's doing and you don't have the savvy to understand it

because you're ignorant. Respectfully, I don't know these things either. I need social media to explain it to me because in gymnastics, they're not all going at the same time. It's not like a photo finish.

So it's really hard for me to understand how much higher and how much more difficult Simone's routines are. Which is why the hop is so key. If there's no hop, no hop. If there is a hop, then there's a hop. But what I'm saying is if they're going at the same time, you can see how much more difficult her routine is and how much more air she is getting. By the way, breaking news update, Jordan Childs has won the bronze medal in this. So it goes Andrade Biles Childs, two Americans medal in this event. Wow.

Gymnastics is corrupt, right? All right. Andrew Siciliano is here. We will ask him that question and more in a second because he's our gold zone correspondent. He's very busy. You can ask him just that, Billy. We're talking about the second best individual gymnast in the world. It's not like she's not deserving. She jumped high as well. She stuck her landings. That's all I'm saying. She was robbed. You can take this to Siciliano. The rare public outcast.

ally that can't pronounce her last name or even refuses to attempt to. No, it's fairly amazing what just Stugatz is doing and now sits back in his chair, pleased with himself, knows so little about everything he's talking about. God forbid you call out Simone Biles. I mean, jeez, I'm not saying anything bad about

her. I'm just saying the other one got robbed. No one person is above the sport. That's all we're saying. No, she is literally. No, no. She's physically literally above the sport. She hops when she lands. Yes. Okay. We'll do this with Siciliano right now. He will give us his expertise.

A lot has changed over the years, audience. As you've been so kind in pointing out, my shirt size has changed over the years. Look, I started this show as a 19-year-old boy, and now I'm a 38-year-old dad. But along the way, one staple of my life has been Miller Lite, and those of you that have been listening to us know this. I've been a Miller Lite guy since day one. I have been pretty honest about that. So let's get down to the nitty-gritty. What is the best thing about the original Lightbeer Miller Lite?

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