Local Hour: Billy Kill Drives the Ship
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Hello. Hey, Billy. Hi. Hello. Happy Friday, everybody. God bless Friday. Oh, I can't do that anymore. Oh, that's too bad. Yeah, last episode's out today. God bless football on Metal Ark. Check it out. Subscribe, all that stuff. Yes. See you guys later. Yeah. You're done with us? Today's your last day? Thank God. Well, not yet. Not yet. Not used to. I mean, Billy. No, you can stay.

I'm going to be surprised. I didn't expect to be sitting in this seat today. Why? Whenever Dan's not here, I like this seat. I'm comfortable in this seat. Israel sits in that seat. When Dan's not here, most people sit in that seat because I don't want to sit in that seat. Why is that? Because the show is the Dan Levitard Show with Stu Gatz and I hang off to the side like a little, you know, like a toenail. And so here I am. This is me like on the side of Dan's foot. Okay.

That's just disgusting. It is. Yeah, last time I was on the show, Stu, you were in Dan's seat and I was in your seat. Really? Yeah. Valhalla. So we got the text yesterday saying, do you want to sit in the studio with Stu Gatz? And I was like, yeah. So I just assumed I'd be sitting in Stu Gatz's seat. And like three minutes ago, he's like, so you're going to sit in Dan's seat today? I'm like...

Sure, I guess. You're in charge, Billy. We're all just going to stare at you and see where we go next. That's not great for everyone involved because the things that I have written down are side view mirrors are too advanced, learning to play hockey, worst things that you've stepped on barefoot, obscure bumper stickers, the rehearsal, which is everyone's

wants to talk about the rehearsals. Don't forget about my favorite, Sidney Sweeney's bathwater soap. Oh, wow. I saw that. Don't leave out the Knicks. We'll get there, maybe. Taylor's at the game. Should we have him zoom in and tell us about it? He did go to the game last night. He's still there? He is still there. He's left over. He got a face value ticket. Uh,

And that's a bad job out of his friend who only charged him face value. When you have gold in your hand, sell it for the price of gold. OK, even friends. I mean, yeah. Yes. Yes. He told me how he got it. And it was like it was kind of a funny story of who got it for him and how it is that he got it. I thought it was a very nice gesture, particularly because I don't think this person is particularly close to Taylor and got him a face value ticket. If you were getting him a ticket, you would upcharge him.

If I was getting a ticket and the person that was supposed to come with me couldn't go and I knew that ticket was worth $1,500, I'm not selling it unless it's, you know, a brother or my best friend. I'm charging you. Absolutely. How does he know what face value is? There's not physical tickets that show you the dollar amount on it. So whatever he tells you the amount is, that's what he says the amount is, right? That's what you believe. How about if it's a friend? You bring that friend for free so that they owe you everything.

And for here going forward, you know they owe you one, and they owe you one that could be about $3,000. That's a big OU. It's a big IOU. You want a big IOU in your life. You want to have one of those on lock. But you really need to trust the friend that you're bringing. Well, it depends on how close that friend is. Because you put me in that spot, and I make an IOU, I'm going to sit in that seat for free, enjoy the game, and never pay you back. What is the level of an IOU for bringing someone to the Eastern Conference Finals for free?

In New York at Madison Square Garden. Helping you move from one walk-up to another walk-up probably. Move is a good one. I like that. I think it's killing me. My back is killing me. I need you to help me take this sofa. And then you pay a guy and you send him over. You send a mover over. An actual mover.

Yeah. Hey, where's Taylor? Hold on. Did Billy just say it's like a hit? Yeah, he wants to kill somebody. No, I didn't want to, but I wouldn't want to. That's why I would bring my friend to the Eastern Conference finals. So that way one day... You know, that favor, he's just going to kind of get rid of this person a little bit. You know what I mean? That makes sense. Yeah, no, you know exactly what you mean, and I'm a little bit afraid. Well, no, I wouldn't kill you. I wouldn't kill anyone, obviously. I would take someone to a basketball game instead. Billy kill.

You do that with anything that is somewhat sound. And in high-elevator. I do, yes. You yesterday called me Billy Pill. Well, you were talking about drugs. I mean. That is true. What were you talking about drugs for? Well, check out the latest episode of Godless Football. Subscribe now. Got me. We were talking about Stefan Diggs and how a statement was made about the pink stuff.

That was on the boat with him and he had a pink substance on the boat with him. What was that? I had to go around and ask people what it was because I admitted on this show I was like, I know this might shock a lot of people. I know you see Billy and you're like, that's a big drug guy. But I'm not a big drug guy. So I had to go around and I had to ask people what it was. And who gave you the answer? A surprising source, to be honest with you. Has anyone considered that it was a gender reveal? Uh, no. No. No.

People were revealing their genders that day for sure on that boat, but it was not I don't think that. Surprise! It's a girl! The pink stuff makes you take your clothes off is what you're saying? I'm saying clothes seem to be coming off on some of those videos that we saw. Whether the pink stuff was leading to the clothes coming off or not is anyone's guess. But what was it? I mean, the pink? It's called Toosie.

What is 2C? If you don't know. If you don't know, you don't know? Is it like a battery size? Educate. Yeah, educate. I don't know anything. You looked it up. You're making yourself sound more suspicious. Did I look anything up? Is he? He's trying to cover you. That's a picture of you, Billy. He's just looking at you. I'm trying to help him here, and he doesn't understand. I think he thinks he's trying to help us. No, I was told in my ear. I didn't look anything up. I'm just saying.

Usually the stuff that's like either pink or purple that I hear about in songs is in like double styrofoam cups with like liquid It's not just like spread everywhere. Purple drank? Oh boy. Yeah, no he's right. I've heard.

I think Chris Cody is stealing my unassigned parking spot, and it's a conversation that we could have had off air. Someone's taking mine. Okay. We both like to park next to a pillar. Yeah. You should have parked in Dan's today. I don't have access to this garage. I thought you go left of the pillar. No. So here's the thing. We have to park in a different garage, and we walk over here. The peasant garage, I call it. The peasant garage, yeah. Makes you wonder, how long do you work here before you're out of the peasant garage? Yeah.

But we're still 19 years ago. Somehow Kristen works in this garage. Oh, I know. She's in charge of assigning the parking spaces and she gave herself the parking spaces. Wait, Kristen has a spot in this garage? Yeah. Does she really? The Stu Gatz is strong in her. So does Carmen. Wow. Who? That's not nice. Yeah, come on. They're trying to hide out there. The camera will find them. I didn't say who is that person. I didn't hear the name that came out of your mouth.

Okay, who was it? So anywho there's not a sign parking that other garage and as a result We kind of just have like our spaces that we like and now we all have to like change Spaces because Jason steals my spot all the time - he's a back-end. Oh yeah, Jason's big back-end guy

He's either eating all our food or stealing our spaces. I hate the back-end guy. Roy's one of those. Why do you have to back into a parking spot? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I only back in when I don't have anybody behind me. You realize the time you're saving on the way out, you're wasting on the front end. I love this conversation. You're right.

I will come out and I will admit, I am a back-end guy at times. Also, depending on the car I'm driving, I'm a back-end guy. Now, the backing in and the spaces in this garage make absolutely no sense because they're angled. So it's so inconvenient to leave because you have to drive...

sideways against traffic. It's not, it makes no sense to back into the spaces in this garage. I think the back end guy though is just in general, that person is selfish because you have to do a three point turn at times to get into the spot. You are preventing other people from getting parking spots. That's what you're doing. Which again, I don't do when somebody is behind me. Right.

Can I offer it is something of a safety situation? Like it's safer. When you're backing into a parking lot, you're good, right? Like parking spot, you're good. You're hoping there's not any people around you, whatever. When you're leaving and you don't have to back out and do all that maneuvering and you don't know who's...

If you just get to go forward and get out of there, it's a little bit easier to get out. So it's safer for everybody around. Quick exit, too, if you need to make a hurried exit. Izzy's a backing guy. All of a sudden, you know what? I used to not be a backing guy. I used to be just like you guys. But then Anthony's a former firefighter, so he used to drive the actual truck, right? You've seen the light. The little, the med, whatever, the little...

What is it? The truck where people go? Anyway, a rescue. There it is. A fire truck? No, it's the little one. The little one where you take people. An ambulance? An Uber. And so he was like a big back-end guy. And then I started doing it with my side view mirrors, like you're supposed to, as opposed to any of the other tricks. And I was like, this is kind of fun. It's a good way to test the brain. It's like, ooh, am I seeing things properly? Okay, I'm in. You used to be, like, backing in before there were the backup cameras in every car was an art.

You were a great driver. You could back in without a backup camera. Now it's too easy. It really is. It's a cheat code. Now anyone can back in. Why did Tony make us and put us in a getaway car? I don't mean just in case. You need to make a quick getaway. He's not wrong. You haul ass. I don't have to back up. Oh, there's an old lady. Oh, sorry. Excuse me. I got to go. Okay, what if I'm being chased and I need to make a quick arrival? Now I'm not going to back in because that's not the way to do it.

Inefficient. So you're getting chased, but then you want to stop the car and then get out of the car? If somebody is being chased in a car and they need to park, get out, and run away before the person chasing them catches them, they're not backing anyone. But they're gonna be in a car and then you're gonna be running and then they're gonna catch you in the car because they're not gonna get out. You guys ever do anything so efficiently that you're like, "I think I could commit crimes."

And I get away with it. What is going on with Billy? Like, he wants to commit crimes and have drug addicts. Billy kill. I want to peel this on you. Billy pill. I'm not. I admitted that I wasn't. What have you done efficiently that you thought you could commit crimes? Not too long ago, I went to the ATM. I needed cash. I was giving cash to someone for something. Probably my drug habit. And you're like, no receipt. I don't need a receipt. And no, no. So I go and I wasn't driving. I was, yeah, exactly. The pink substance.

So I was going and I was dropped off in the front of the bank because we weren't going to go through the drive-thru. There was a long line. I'm like, it'll just be quicker if you drop me off. So I get dropped off at the door. Then the person that dropped me off goes, turns around the car. And when they came back, I was already done and I got in the car and I was like,

Probably going to rob a bank. It was so efficient and so quick. A couple more run-throughs here, and we may be able to pull something off here, a heist. The problem is, with the successful heist, and my co-heister, who was the driver, the getaway driver at the time, told me, said, I used to think about that as a kid. I used to think I could do that. The problem with it now, though...

is now there's too many federal agencies that get involved. And now it's not like you could just go and rob a bank and then that'll be done with it. You'll get caught because you get cocky. You'll rob more than one bank. And now because of the federal agencies involved, it's like a big to do. It's a whole thing. They're all going to come after you. You can't really get away with it anymore. Yeah, the good old days. You know the best time to park in backwards or parallel park? When you've got other people in the car. You just...

You're just trying to impress them a little bit. Unless you do it bad. That's why you have to have confidence in it. I'm telling you, either parallel parking or backing into a parking lot, it's the straightest thing I do. Parallel parking, people are impressed. I impress my wife with that all the time when we go to Chicago. No one is impressed with a person who backs into a spot. But if you do it smooth enough. I'm in the back.

of your car rolling my eyes. Not if you're paying attention to how smooth it is. It's one, two, three, bam, we're in here. You open your eyes and you're just like, how did we get in this spot so quickly? I was just away this weekend. I don't know why your eyes are closed. I'm nudging my wife. You went to the car.

My buddy who rented the car, unbelievable. My friend Zach, he's just driving up. I thought, oh, he's looking for a spot. Boom, puts the car in reverse, immediately swivels into the spot behind me. I'll be honest, I was impressed. I'm nudging my wife being like this guy. And your wife? Secretly impressed. Hell yeah. She's like, whoa, why did I settle for Chris? He came back into a spot.

You guys ever try to parallel park and just give up and drive away? My wife has. It's not going to happen. Several times. I'm embarrassed. I'm leaving. I don't want to see these people again. If somebody's sitting there watching, I'm out. Will you avoid a parking spot if you know you have to parallel park?

Like you'll just find the next spot, a bigger spot. Sometimes I'll see it like, oh no, too tight, too tight. It depends on the amount of traffic behind me, right? Like if I know that I'm good to give this two or three attempts before the next car is going to show up, then I have that leeway and I'll give it a shot, even if it's a tight space. But if I know there are cars behind me that are waiting and I have to do this on one try, there's about a 0% chance that I'm going to attempt it to parallel park. Okay.

I'm not a terrible parallel parker, but I have had the situation where I go like if it's like one too many times and I'm like, all right, I'm out of here. Like, forget about it. And sometimes people watching just buy a new car. Sometimes I never want to. Yeah, if I'm at the beach or something like never mind, we're going to go 20 blocks up. And that's the situation. If you were to rob a bank, Billy, and I believe you could pull it off. Who would you trust most out of this crew? Who would you trust most in terms of the getaway car? Because I think it's Tony for me. Yes, I would have Tony on my crew to

Be the fall guy. I think, just in case. Roy would be a great getaway driver. Buddy, the moment they bring in a large pizza and a soda, I'm telling them exactly who planned it. Really? You. Singing like a canary? Exactly right. Because you're using me as the fall guy, and then I'll swing it right back at you. You strike me very much as a guy that says, snitches get stitches.

Zazzle said that earlier this week, I think. What, that you would say that or that you're a snitch? No, that he said snitches get stitches. You strike me as someone who would have that as like their mantra, maybe get it as like a tattoo on you, made in day, like born and raised. I think you're right. He's not a great getaway driver. He's too tall, like getting in and out. If he has to get into the car real quick, it's not going to happen. We know Chris is not the getaway driver. Well, no, the guy in the getaway car stays in the getaway car. Stays in it? Yeah. Okay, then that's all right. Chris is not. Chris, when he drives, follows all the rules. He's like, oh, yeah.

Cheaters never prosper. That's all crazy. He can't be the driver. Roy is lead foot. Roy will get us out of here quick. The problem is you can't go too fast. Once you escape the cops, you can't draw too much attention by flying everywhere. You've got to get maneuverability in and out, in and out. All of a sudden, you make a right on a street, and then you're driving normal. Also, somehow, it's going to be more difficult for Roy to escape the cops. Yeah. I can't explain why. I was going to ask, what do you mean by that?

Just historically, numbers-wise. I know we're a numbers podcast. Numbers, not so good for him. We're a math friends podcast. I don't think any of us would be in his math friends. I wasn't here for the math friends conversation, but I'm not in the math friends conversation. Well, Dan's math friends said the Knicks are better than the Pacers. Oh, the Knicks, finally. Speaking of backing in, Knicks going to back into the NBA Finals here? What's going on? They're going to back into a Game 7, I can tell you that much. I mean, there's no way the NBA does not want a Game 7 at Madison Square Garden. Can you imagine? Right.

I mean, the Pacers are fighting against everything. They're fighting against the team that the NBA... America's saying too, yeah. Well, they're fighting against the team that the NBA... We know the NBA wants the Knicks in the NBA Finals. We know that. Yeah. Whether they can pull it off or not is yet to be seen. But we do know that they would prefer that over a Pacers-Oklahoma City Final, which is a complete disaster. No one's going to sell me on the notion that that's a good NBA Finals.

It's not. No one wants to see that. Nobody. Well, if the Knicks make it to the NBA Finals and they get swept by Oklahoma City, is that any better? Would you rather have like a seven-game Pacers-Thunder series or a four-game Oklahoma City sweep over the Knicks? What do you think the NBA would prefer?

Everything to go game seven with the biggest markets. No, but in that scenario, they get a great series, Thunder and Pacers, or the Knicks get swept in four. They'd rather have a seven-game series, I think. Well, if you're the NBA, that's actually a great question. Do you just want the right now of, hey, give me one big market, one series, let me get those ratings? Or do you want everybody to be talking about how two small markets in the NBA Finals is

and any team can win the NBA championship, so all the fan bases should be tuned in. I honestly don't know the answer to that question. I'm just throwing it out there. I do think that the Knicks are gaining a level of stardom nationally that the franchise hasn't had in a while in terms of actual success when it comes to Jalen Brunson, and then you've got all the celebrities back courtside that they finally modernized in having people like Timothee Chalamet and even Ben Stiller around. And then Indiana...

Can only benefit from getting there and building the star of Tyrese Halliburton as a villain going up against the Thunder. And really what's interesting is like a lot of people hate the Thunder too. So you'll have these two young point guards that you've built around that you can see

for futures in these two small markets, to me, the best thing for the NBA is the Knicks have already gotten the shine. Going to the finals, not going to change anything if the Thunder are still going to win no matter what because they're going to go down as one of the most dominant teams of all time regardless. I didn't like what I saw last game, courtside.

With all the celebrities. I saw Susie Essman from Curb Your Enthusiasm get relegated to third row. Miles Teller shows up. I haven't seen him there. He's a Philly fan, by the way. That's what I'm saying. Just because he's friends with Chalamet. Miles, is this how this works? Well, Chalamet has two seats. I just imagine whoever's in charge of this with the Knicks, they must have just an insane list of celebrities. And it's like, I only have so many courtside seats. Susie Essman, from Curb, she's in the third row here. She looks pissed.

The whole time has been a courtside person. Every game they show her courtside. And this game, inexplicably, third row looking not happy because Miles Teller just showed up out of left field. Let me ask you a question. Had Larry shown up? Miles is in the third row, you think? That's what she's saying. I think that's what she's saying. If Larry's here, do I get to be in there? Like, what is this? Larry and Timothee Chalamet next to each other. That's a photo. That's got to have audio with it.

Can you complain if you get the tickets for free? I think. Because you have Suzy Essman paying multiple thousands of dollars for four-seq seats? No, no, no. I think that she probably gets hooked up. So if they're comped and they tell you, hey, instead of court side, we're going third row. To your point, there's something to complain about? No, but ego is involved there. To your point, I don't think she's actually mad at the Knicks people because it's like, I get it. Miles Teller's mad. I'm mad at Miles Teller.

Does he belong there with Chalamet? Is he on that level of celebrity? I think that's more Chalamet sending a text, hey, I want to sit next to Miles. I know, but since Top Gun. Right. You think Chalamet needs the rub of Miles Teller? No, I'm saying I think Chalamet is the king there right now. And if Chalamet sends a text, hey, I want to send – Miles is coming and I want to sit next to him. Spike is the king. I understand what you're saying.

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Don Levitard. We didn't get to your guys' against the spread. You're right, you're right, you're right. I don't have an against the spread. Oh, well. Because I wasn't prepared for this segment. You need an Ian in your life. You have actively played defense against me today in a way that has rarely been this undercutting. Stugatz. Defense wins championships, baby. That's show business. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz. Stugatz.

I'm conflicted on Chalamet. I'm a little conflicted on him. Why? And I know everyone is going to crap all over me. No, no, I'm with you here. Well, no, you haven't even heard where I've gone yet. No, but I think I'm with you. You're going to tell me why this is ridiculous. So Chalamet, lifelong Knicks fan, right? That's what we've seen. He was there. He won shoes or whatever. It was a child winning contest. Players were hiding things, whatever, right? Big time Knicks fan. Yes.

If I'm Chalamet, and this is where you guys are gonna jump on me. If I'm Chalamet, I'm like, nah. I'm a Knicks fan. I wanna be in the 300s. I wanna be in the seats that I was in when I grew up. I wanna be with the real Knicks fans. Now we're kinda crossing a line here. We're going to the celebrity status where it's like, eh. If you wanna be a Knicks fan, you wanna really be a man of the people.

So you've got a guy who spent his life training to be an actor and stand out and entertain people. Yeah. Just being in the crowd with everybody else. Not standing out. Yeah. I mean, that's what a Knicks fan is. I think if you have courtside for regular season games, you should have courtside all the way through. I'm with Billy. It feels like, you know, a lot of celebrities coming lately. You know, it's like they just got here. They just got to the party because they want to be seen and because the Knicks are finally gone.

good. Where are you game 32 on a Tuesday night against, you know, Charlotte? I am curious. I'm curious where Shallow, because if he's this big a Knicks fan, he must have been going to Knicks games previous seasons. Where was he sitting before he played Bob Dylan? Exactly. No, he should be sitting last season. You think he was like a 100 level guy? I feel like maybe he was third row. Maybe he was Susie Essman last year. Call me. No chance. He was not third row. I think last year he had already done Dune.

I think last year he was third row guy. Call me crazy, but I think if you gave me, so me and Timothy, who was Tim or Timmy in the video, but now he's become Timothy while he was a child and he was a Knicks fan. So if me and Tim were together in a room and I got to choose Tim's clothes and Tim had no security or anything, I think that I could get Tim in the 300 levels unnoticed. I think that people wouldn't know who he was if I dressed him.

And he didn't have security detail or anyone around him kind of drawing attention to him. I think that he's kind of like a normal guy. I could put a hat on him, get him into like the three... Not at this point. I can. I could get someone to be like, are you... He's like, no, I'm not. Yeah, and he's like, nah, that's... Nah, I'm Jimothy. I get that all the time. I get that a lot, yeah. Exactly.

I could get him in there, I think. Shave his mustache? I don't think he wants to be that anymore. I am looking at a photo of him right now, just in pretty normal pants and a Knicks t-shirt and a backwards hat, sitting courtside. But he looks like any other dude. Thank you. At the same time, pretty sure I would recognize him because he looks like Timothee Chalamet. Yeah, no, but I could get him in there. There's a lot of people that are, you know, like attractive that are not famous.

And is he that attractive? It's not even about the attractive. It's about the fact that he looks like himself. Like he's a very distinct looking guy. He blends in. You've seen him enough now. You think so? I think he's more of a guy who blends in. I'm with Billy on this. Would his bath water sell, you think? That's weird. I don't understand that. Strangest thing ever.

So it's like paint this picture for me because I still don't really understand what this is. Here's what's happening. So there's a brand. You want him to paint a detailed picture of Sidney Sweeney taking a bath? No, just paint the picture. There's a brand called Dr. Squatch that is partnering. Dr. Squatch, by the way. I love Dr. Squatch. I use Dr. Squatch every day. Partnering with Sidney Sweeney. Sponsor of yours? What's happening? Trying to get an

They might be. I use their deodorant, by the way. What's going on here? They're partnering with Sidney Sweeney on a soap called Sidney's Bathwater Bliss. And the premise of this soap is that it has some of Sidney Sweeney's bathwater in it. So we're pandering to creepy. Yeah. I just have...

A few questions. First, I want to think about... I bet you're in on this, Jeremy. Me, personally? You know, not as much. And the... I think Jeremy would buy a Sidney Sweeney bathwater bomb. Like, if it was like there's a drop of Sidney Sweeney's bathwater in this bath bomb, and then you can put it in your own bath, then it becomes like whatever it is that bath bombs do, you might be in on that.

What are we hoping for here, Jeremy, with the bathwater thing? Are we hoping that we get the essence of Sidney Sweeney? Isn't bathwater dirty? I know what they want out of this, Izzy. Who? So say it. The people who are going to order this. Well, here's the first question. So this is the after bathwater, not the before? This is the after bathwater. That's correct. So she gets out of the bath and they take some of that water. And they take some of that water and they put it in the formula for this soap. That's disgusting. So it's dirty soap.

Sure. It's clean soap. Dr. Squatch puts out great soap, by the way. Well, it's soap made of dirty water. It might not be dirty. All I'm saying... Hold on a second. Because, Chris, if it was the before water, it would just be water. That's true. But it was in Sidney Sweeney's bathtub. But it was in her bathtub. Exactly. We actually don't know if it was in her bathtub or not. It might have been somewhere else, off-site. According to GQ...

She gave an interview with GQ and she said that she took a bath on set when they were doing the shoot with some of the soap that they had created before and that that is the water that they harvested to then put in the new batch. Is this a bath like after a beach day or is this a bath like after just a night at home watching a movie? It's very important.

I really like your attention to detail. All I want to know is what the pitch room was like. Is there going to be sand in my bathwater? Because, I mean, let's be real. You're going in a pitch room for soap, and there's one guy, hey, Jenkins, what's your idea? Hey, maybe some lavender scent. We can get something like that. Hey, Smith, what about you? Maybe some vanilla balm in there. I don't know. Maybe some oak. Hey, what about your idea? I don't know. I was thinking maybe hear me out.

What if we took a little bit of Sidney Sweeney's bathwater and we put it in the soap? I don't know. You go into work that day, you know you're either getting fired or promoted. I mean, what reputation on the line? You saved that idea for the end of the pitch, right? You're like, all right, I got one more.

Right. I got one more idea here. The Hail Mary. The final pitch. I think you sandwich it. I think you have like really bad ideas after that. And you're like, you know that Sidney Sweeney bathwater one? Not terrible. It's just pretty amazing. Because like the third one is like diarrhea soap. And it's like, wait, what? Diarrhea soap? That's a terrible idea. What's your deal with Dr. Squatch? The fact that Dr. Squatch knew that there would be an audience for this that for sure would give away their email for the sweepstakes. Right.

It says something about us, doesn't it? And I'll address the camera directly. Men who are going to sign up for the sweepstakes. Good for you guys. Wait, why men? And women? Yeah, and sure. No, it won't be. Why? You need a hug. You okay? I love you. It's okay. We could talk about it. Hey, now cut to me. It's all right. Hey, bro, you're good.

It's okay. It's all going to be fine. You're loved. We love you here. It's all right. Just step outside. Go for a bike ride. Back to me. Give somebody a hug. Don't listen to that guy. You're good. It's a limited run, by the way. I think they're only making like $5,000. Oh, so we got to get up now? Yeah, they stretched whatever the water was going to be to put it in. Just walk outside barefoot. Step on some grass. Again, Dr. Squatch did an incredible job. Oh, there's only smell of the air. You're thinking this is the end? Just $5,000? We're done? I mean. None of that.

You can only get five max at a time. There's only one. I've heard. There's only one. I'm on the website. It says, do an extremely limited edition Sydney's Bathwater Bliss. Enter for a chance to win the only brick made with Sydney Sweeney's very own bathwater. So they made one. This would be honestly like one of the best white elephant gifts ever. That's true.

Chris, so Christmas here at the Metalock offices, all of a sudden you see a little square and you're like, what's this one? Honestly, it'd probably be super valuable if there's only one you sell it. Whoa. Yeah. Sidney Sweeney's bathwater by Dr. Squatch. What if I find a way to make a bar of soap out of my own bathwater and make that a white elephant gift? I'll talk to the people at Dr. Squatch and see what we can do. Dr. Squatch. How long have you been waiting to do that? Since someone put it in my ear. About five seconds. Very good.

I'm presently using a body wash that... I like this. Keep going. A wash. Well, not presently. I'm presently sitting here, but... Dove men's gear. My body wash, or let me rephrase that. I know someone that's using a body wash. It's not me because I use our sponsor's body wash. I know someone that's using a body wash that's called Hammer Shark. You know somebody. I know somebody.

Where did you get that, Navarro? No, someone. Someone. Where did he get that, Navarro? Someone got it at Burlington Coat Factory. What? Who wins this? Yeah. It's like five bucks. It's called Hammer Shark.

You can't even go hammerhead. No, no. Copyright, I guess, the sharks might go ensue. It's called Hammer Shark. It's a pretty intense looking label. I've seen it. What does it smell like? Hammer Shark. I can't speak from experience, but it's pretty good. You have to ask the person. Yeah, I had to ask. I said, may I sniff you? And it's pretty good. But definitely not me. This is all because of salt burn, right? That's the reason we're here. That's why we've ended up with people signing up for Sidney Sweeney's Bathwater Soap.

uh yeah sure great cool checkout lines uh checkout lines get me all the time how about you guys especially those stores no when i go to like i go to dick sporting good no someone brought up a checkout line and so i'm just saying like dick sporting goods i go there because i'm thinking this is the time i'm gonna get into shape this is it is the weirdest one i know and then i get to the line i'm online i'm trying to pay and what do i end up walking out with a pound of

peanut M&Ms. I mean, get those out of dicks. No, when I worked in, it's intentional. Like, it's obviously on purpose. When I worked in retail, they were called impulse towers. So you would put little things on there. Just little trinkets. Yeah, little, exactly right. Little trinkets, smaller versions of things that you see and you're like, oh yeah, I could use it quick. Lip gloss? Yeah, I could get it. Hand massager? Yeah, you get like, you put little things there. They're not that expensive and then you're like, oh yeah, I can, one more thing, one more thing and then you get

add like five, six, seven, ten dollars to each purchase because they're little things. M&M's are one of them. That's the only way I buy lip balm. If I see it in one of those lines, that's what I buy. Only if you're waiting in line, though. Right, of course. Otherwise, you'll breeze right past it. I love apricot and

pair. I like those lines that like a TJ Maxx, one of those. It's like, oh, I can get popcorn. You can find anything in those lines. Like, you never know what's going to... The other stores, like, you more or less know, like, oh, I'll get something related to the theme of this store or whatever. Who's eating that popcorn?

There's like these aisles where it's just these packaged food items. These food items have been here every year I go Christmas shopping. I'm on this new kick of, it's a Nerds candy. For Jeremy? It's a gummy. Oh, nice. Low-hanging. I don't even know where that thing is. Is this one? Yeah.

I just hit it blindly hoping I hit the right one. Hit the next one over. Next page. There you go. Is it that one? It doesn't deserve that. Oh, what is it? I don't know, Chris.

He called Jeremy. Jeremy's still kind of reeling because he wanted to talk about Salt Burn. Well, Billy, I'm glad you brought that up. Would you like me to describe the scene that he's talking about from Salt Burns because you haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. Yeah, sure. What happened? So the reason we're talking about bathwater and relating it to Salt Burn is because there's this one scene in Salt Burn where this one character masturbates in a bathtub. And as these bathwater is being drained down, somebody else who is obsessed with said person who is masturbating in the bathtub goes and sucks up

the water around the drain of the bathtub. I had to watch that scene with my eyes mostly covered. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life. And that's how we've ended up here with Bars of Soap. Chris Whittingham is a fancy lad. Missed that lad. Perfect timing for that conversation.

So now you know. So now I know. So in those lines, I've discovered candy, and the candy that I'm on right now is a, you know nerds? Yes. Are you familiar with nerds? A little hard. Jeremy? I am familiar with. Ha! It was funnier the second time around. It's like the little hard candy, right? What are they called? Nerds.

Supposed to say like Jeremy kidding bit late to it. No he was so pleased It doesn't matter no one cares about the candy or anything you love candy like salt burn It's a gummy candy that is like nerds rope. No, no gummy one No, this one's like a little gummy like ball, and it's just surrounded with nerds around the outside nerds rope But a gummies amazing imagine a Jeremy rope not call a nerds cluster. Oh

Is that what it's called, a cluster? I don't know what it's called. I thought I was getting the right one that my wife liked, and she then was not happy because I got the wrong one because she doesn't like fruit. Nothing worse than getting back and you're like, babe, look what I got you. And she's like, I hate this. I'm going to be honest with you. Sometimes it makes me wonder, why do I even try?

Does it? Yeah. Because you brought home the wrong nerd. The wrong candy. And I said, you know what? Next time, I'm just going to bring home no candy. Then there's no complaints. Or the bar of soap, Sydney Sweeney's Bathwater. There's only one. How much do you think that'll sell for on the second market? Black market? A good amount. That's not an answer. I can't review all my sources on what exactly it would cost. I bet it costs over $1,000. $2,500. If you were to resell it? Yeah.

That's something you don't use. If you buy it for that price, you don't use it. You can't take it out of the box, right? It's got to be in condition. Yeah. I'm using that thing. They're going to smell it every day. That's what they're going to do. You're saying if you're purchasing bath water, you're going to use it? Yeah, I'm taking it for a walk. It's free from your faucet. Or a swim.

There you go. Not her bathwater, though. Her bathwater. It's really crazy, right? Like, it's pretty wild. I need to know if it's, like, after a workout. Is it, like, after a night of just... It's just on set. I just told you, on set. What? No, these are important details. Bathwater. What was that? There was a lot of people talking there. Chris would like to know the activities leading up to you taking a bath. Were you at the beach all day? Did you have sex at the beach? I mean... It sounded like she was just shooting a commercial.

Which also, like, if they got this bathwater, she was shooting a commercial or something, right? She was on set. And then they're like, you know, we should do go collect her bathwater. That's really weird. There's probably a little bit of fecal matter in there, right? What? Yeah. In bathwater? No. Particles for sure. Was that poppy? Very intrigued.

So the Panthers are back in the Stanley Cup final. That's right. So is Edmonton. That's right. So Edmonton wins last night. Last year, they did not touch, because there's this whole thing in hockey, superstitions, touching the conference championship trophy. The Panthers, the first year they got there, touched the trophy, lost. Last year, didn't touch the trophy, won. Right. Last year, Edmonton didn't touch the trophy, lost. So now this year, they touched the trophy. Wow.

McDavid touched it. What's going to happen? Ben just didn't touch it, by the way, this year either. Run this by all of us again. Okay. It's a lot. Okay. Last year, Edmonton did not touch the trophy. They won the conference finals, did not touch the trophy. Didn't touch the trophy. And then they lost the final. Bigger trophies ahead of them. This has been 2024. Yes. And then they lost the final. And then lost. And so now this year, because last year they didn't touch it and lost, they're like, hey, we're going to touch it.

So they touched it this year. So they touched and questioned. Taking a different approach, yes. And the Panthers won when they didn't touch it and lost when they... Basically, the Edmonton Oilers and the Panthers are opposite ends of the luck spectrum right now in terms of touching the trophy. So in 2024, the Panthers did touch it. Did the Panthers touch it this year? Did they touch it in 2023? When they went against Vegas...

The first year they were there, the Panthers did touch it, and then they lost to Vegas. So last year, they were like, we're not touching that thing, and they won. So, of course, this year, Panthers didn't touch it. The question is, if the Edmonton Oilers lose this year, what do they do if they get back next year? Because then they will have lost two in a row. They're out of options. Straight to the locker room. Don't even show up for the ceremony. It seems like maybe touching the trophy doesn't actually impact the results. Does it actually matter? That's a great question by Billy.

Or is it all psychological? If I'm the Panthers, I don't touch it because you already won the big one. Right. They didn't touch it. I wouldn't even go to the ceremony. But they won it by not touching it.

What if, just to make news, if you're like the sixth defender on the Panthers. And you touch it? They're all not touching it, there's a photo happening, and then some guy like Belinsky walks up at the end and is just like, hey. I like that he goes, he trips, and he's like, oh! And he touches it that way, yeah, yeah. Like through the eye slip? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! And then he touches it. Speaking of touching it, Sidney Sweeney's bathwater. What? Touching what?

Howdy listeners, it's Mike Ryan. That temperature, it's starting to turn up a little bit. Maybe you're going out on the boat. Maybe you're having a pool day. Maybe you're just hanging out in your backyard, your patio, and you're grilling. Oh, you're prepping the meats. You're looking at the family. You're enjoying your time with the friends. And guess what's in your hand a

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