Local Hour: CUT HIM OFF!
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It might be a good place to find your zen. Discover top brands at unexpectedly low prices. Sierra, let's get moving. I'm going to take off the table, Stugatz, the bad beat at the end of the night, the terrible gambling bad beat that costs you a lot of money. I'm going to take that off the table as one of the options in the question I'm asking you guys. Okay. All of sports...

Basketball, soccer, football, whatever sport you wish to choose, the ending of a game that's going to have you lose sleep most likely that night is blank anywhere in sports. Hmm.

Because I think the hockey overtime goal that kills you on the road is something that makes sports fans sleep less than anything except maybe like a buzzer beater. I think a buzzer beater for me, but especially when you're up 3-1 in that game. Well, but just the fear in overtime, okay, that the game can just end and exactly that way. Exactly.

Because that right there last night is why that's the only team I fear if I'm the Panthers. Because they can do that to you when you're up 3-1 and no one else can do that to you. There's not another team in the sport. No one else has. There's not another team in the sport that can do that to you.

to them have Sam Bennett talking after the game about usually we don't let up but we let up no you didn't let up it's they shot a bunch of times because they're really good you were gassed and you had a power play and you can't allow a power play in the in in overtime against that team you're describing letting up them getting gassed yeah it was uncharacteristic but to your point I think that was the first Panther loss of the postseason of the last few postseasons really where I'm like

Yeah, we could maintain possession a little bit more. We were a little sloppy with the puck in our own end, but we got beat. This wasn't like the Toronto series or when we effed around with Carolina playing with our food where I'm like, yeah, we'll tighten that up. We know what's wrong. We made some lazy passes in the neutral zone. We got beat. That's a...

It's really one of the first times in a long time that you can say that about a postseason Panther run where the other team was better than you on the night. That was just a great game, though. Fantastic. I think I have the prism of we won the championship last year. So you have a cup in your pocket? I had all the fear. I had all the fear last night, but I was able to kind of step back and just be like, holy shit, overtime, game one. This is going to be an excellent series. Thank God it wasn't Carolina-Dallas. Can you imagine? Right.

Who in their right mind is like, man, you know what I wish I saw right now? Jamie Benn. That would really do it for me. Really makes game two a must win. It really does. Duke. It really does. From your lips, my man. Mm-hmm.

Can you guys give me another sport that you think? Because the way the Bills lost to the Chiefs were like a drop or we could have gotten to that. That was a pretty brutal way for the Bills to lose. A controversial call. A bad air in baseball. I know people don't care about baseball, but like the Buckner situation, bottom of the ninth, bad air.

air and you're like, that's a bad game. Six of the world series though. It takes that like David freeze. The, the, the Rangers are an out away from a strike away from a world series twice in a game. And then they end up not winning the world series at all. But your points taken Dan, that sucked.

Not great, but it was game one, and that's what Panthers in seven can look like. Everybody's rooting against the Panthers, and I will tell you I had a thought that I haven't had until now last night because I am scared of what Edmonton has become. My thought was, man, it would suck and feel like underachievement if the last three years only ended in one title with as good as this team is. Like, it would hurt to have only one title in three years, but Edmonton,

I'm telling you that I'm not saying it has to be like this, but if you told me what would it look like to recreate my fears in a way that would make me think that the Panthers are not going to be able to overcome this. It would look like last night. It's McDavid to Dreisaitl at the end and the reminder, oh, Dreisaitl didn't do shit in that series last year. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

Put it on the poll, please, Juju, at Levitard Show. Given his name, shouldn't Dalton Kincaid be better at football, given just his name? I was thinking about great names, Stugatz, because Dreisaitl, we're going to try and fix that echo. Is everyone getting that echo, or am I the only one getting that echo? Dreisaitl is a pretty perfect name.

For a hockey player and I wanted to ask all of you to give me what you believe to be the most perfect name in the history of hockey players. Oh wow. Do you want to play this game? I believe it's an eternal game men of our age can play at any time. It can break out anywhere you are and be fun for the whole family. I've been waiting for this game and this show my entire life. I have five.

I mean, how about that? You have five? Yes. Five perfect names. Well, five cool hockey names is what I have. Okay. So you're claiming, because I think I have one that will be the winner. Johnny Hockey? There will be no winner better than the one that I have. Rest in peace. That was actually Johnny Gaudreau. You want to start with number five? Sure. Number five, Leon Dreisaitl. You need the fanfare, Roy. Ha, ha, ha.

He hit the fanfare. I heard it. I got it. I can't hear fanfare. All right. What's going on in there? We got DJ. We got a team of people coming in here to try and fix the echo, so it's not just my echo here. Echo, echo. I heard that one. There's one name that if it's not on your list, shame on you. Rick Tockett? It's not on the list. I was just asking Mike a question. Get ready to be shamed. Number four, Darius Kasparitis.

I'm glad that's on there. An echo chamber. I don't hear the fanfare. I'm just letting you guys know. Number three.

Jeff Bukabum. That was a name. That was a name. Yes. I don't think that you're going to be able to beat mine, but let's see. Jeff Bukabum didn't beat Dreisaitl? What are we doing here? I'm going to beat Dreisaitl. I've got one better than Dreisaitl. Really? Yes. Number two, Billy Smith.

Islander goalie. I named my cat after him. He died. Screw you. If you're going Islanders, you go Ziggy Palfi. You go Ziggy Palfi if you're going Islanders. And number one, the great one. That's not a name. Ziggy Palfi. Billy, what? What do you guys have? What do you guys? I mean, there's no better name than Jeff Bukabum. I disagree. What if I counter your Bukabum with Ray Joe Rutzelainen? Oh.

Wow, a Ruzelainen. I'm giving the confidence behind that one. I feel pretty good about Jeff Bukabum. You want to spell? I don't know how to spell Rejo. Rejo Ruzelainen. Careful. That's the tough part of the name to spell? It was Jeremy's birthday yesterday. You be damn careful. No, Jeff Bukabum is a name. It's a good one. How about Nikolai Habibulin? Oh, wow. The Bulin wall? Wow, that's a great name. It's a good name. It's a great name. It's a good hand. It's a great name. It doesn't bring the Bukabum, though.

Jeremy did just turn 30 and made us feel old by saying he had his first professional thought post-30. What was your first professional thought post-30? I'm a little bit afraid to say it because I think Samson will use it against me inevitably in working here. But at 30, you go from being like a young person to young for a person. And professionally, what I realized is...

I'm no longer a young star in this business. I'm just a star. And like, that does not feel the same way. Nobody likes a star. Is that what it is with you? You just called yourself a star? A lot of people were calling me a young star. And I mean, I'm not young anymore. So I thought you were like 34. Happy birthday to him.

I don't care. Good luck. I've aged a lot in the last few years working here. At all 34. Yeah. You did think he was over 30, right, Billy? That he just looks over 30. Yeah, you have a look like you're over 30. Thanks. I'm a little bit stunned that he just called himself a star. I don't think I've ever heard anybody do that before. The echo's gone, though. Hmm.

Ishbia is fun to say. I mentioned this yesterday. Do you have, and all these names that we just said are fun to say. The great one. Zolli Zalapsky. Oh my God. Wow. Look how pleased Roy is with himself. As he should. I mean. If we're playing fun owner names to say, I nominate Tillman Fertitta.

Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. It's just owners? You're just doing it in the owners? Well, that's what we were doing yesterday with Ishbia, so I want to play that game. How about Garth Butcher? Pretty good name. The Butcher. They actually called him the Garth Butcher.

That's weird. That game last night, when I tell you guys, and I know you've been tired of this analysis of fearing hockey throughout the last two playoffs because it can be so random, but it hasn't been that random this year. The two best teams have buzzsawed through the playoffs and they've gotten to face each other. And that result, Roy, is exactly what I was afraid of in all of the ways. The Panthers, keep in mind,

So they get the goals from Bennett and Marchand and it makes them a team that now has 50 road playoff goals. That hasn't happened since the 93 Kings. Okay. That team had Gretzky on it. The great one. It's most all time. I know that.

that team had Gary Curry on it. That team had McSorley on it. Like that team was basically the champion Edmonton Oilers scoring on the road in 1993. The Panthers get the two road goals, go up three, one. They had been under Paul Maurice 18 and oh, when they've got the lead at the start of the third period, they'd been 31 and oh, when they've got the lead after the first or second period. And what happened to them is 46 shots.

And they got those two guys. And I'm telling you, there hasn't been a feeling in Edmonton since they had the great one that felt as good as dry sidle scoring that goal, the smoke blowing in, the horn going off, and he spreads his arms in the photo behind me. That's going to be a classic photo.

in Edmonton of him scoring that goal and that goal was beautiful and the Panthers were done. It's a dumb, you can't allow that power play and they were going to lose anyway because they had no legs and they were fried and I'm not used to it because they're the boa constrictor in the third. They crush everybody in the third. They're not the ones who get tired. Yeah, they looked absolutely exhausted. The breakouts were

basically flipping the puck in the air like what they did against Carolina. And when he actually tried to get into Edmonton's own, it was a dump in and they couldn't support their own four track. It just looked like their legs were under them at all. I feel like it's a credit to the Panthers, though, how much they were in that game last night. That thing felt from the beginning like this could be bad.

This could be a 5-1 Edmonton win. Because they scored in the first two minutes? They got outplayed. That whole first period, outside of like a three-minute stretch, that first period was dominated by Edmonton. We're up after that first period. We dominate the second period. The third period was not good. But I just, I take away from that, like, we're right. Like, yes, Edmonton is better, but we are too. Like, like...

I feel good about the Panthers after that game. That's a bad loss, man. They're 18-0 under Paul Maurice when they lead after two periods. They were due. It's a bad loss. That's not a bad loss, dude. That is a tough game. That is a great team they're playing on the road. Chris, it's game one, Stanley Cup Finals. Right, and they played— You're up 3-1. I just—I'm not going to—like, yes, we lost. They didn't play well in that third period, and—

And yes, I'll give you that, but I'm not going to sit here and say like this, like this is going to be a long, this is a 21 period series. Yeah. Game seven. With the context of they don't blow two goal leads, it hurts, but that was the deserved result. Edmonton was better on the night. Ron Tugnut. Oh, wow. I mean, wow. That is asinine what he just said. Tugnuts? Do you know how bad Tugnut is?

Not tug nuts. That's the whole family. I didn't say nuts. That's the whole family. The tug nuts. Yeah, that's the whole family is the tug nuts. What he just did is perfectly Chris Cody. He says it's a 21-period series.

after an overtime game? 21 and a half. Wasn't a full period. So how many periods is it if there's another overtime game? There is something a little liberating about how Chris said you have the cup in your back pocket. And yeah, it would stink that if this run...

after three years concludes with just one cup. I mean, they made it as an eight seed to a much better, much healthier Vegas Golden Knights team. They were broken in that final. That was the achievement to finally get there and get past the Tampa Bay Lightning, at least in the bracket. And they got their cup. But this time they're running into someone that you look –

across the ice and you're like damn they might be better and there's something kind of there is relief in that okay it's not something stupid we're not beating ourselves those are two of the best players in the world and you gotta you gotta tap into something extra and it may be that they have nothing left after a three-year run it may be that Jonathan Chichu well it was what oh

The delay of game penalty by Tomas Nilsson. You can't do that. I know he's been dependable. Your fourth liner in overtime. That's the kind of stuff that happens. And as soon as it happened, you realize we're not going to survive this. It cost you the game. Yeah. But we can't play this game, though. A lot of things cost us a game. I was with Panther fans last night, and they start doing the thing. Why is our fourth? It's like.

This fourth line has been carrying us this entire playoffs. They have one bad game and you're going to be like, get this fourth line. No, this is why we're so good. We play our four lines and they've played well. Yes, that's a bad penalty, but I'm not going to punt on Nosek after one bad play. Paul Maurice was very quick in the postgame to...

Highlight, we're not in this position. We're down two goals against Toronto in game three. We go to overtime. That fourth line saved our bacon. No shit was a huge part about that comeback and eventual series win. Yeah, it was an unfortunate penalty. You knew they would make you pay for it, but whatever. Those are the breaks. Thankfully, they got to win three more games. So when you guys say good loss or bad loss, I think...

It's a crushing loss. And it's because it's the first time in this postseason where a champion can look across the ice and be like, oh shit, they might be better.

It hasn't happened. They haven't had any reason to think that through everything they've been doing. But when you're the best at something, and in game one, they erase that because they're the one team in the sport that can. 3-1 doesn't matter against them. That's a fine. Stigatz, pick up. I'm not certain it was my phone. Then why are you holding it? I know, but how do you know my phone is the one that buzzed? I don't know. I always have it on silent. It was me. Yeah.

Anyway, the Panthers, obviously, they gave up that early going into the first period, but they quickly erased that. So I'm not really worried about them going into game two. They're going to adjust and they're going to play better. Okay, you say that, but you also would acknowledge that what I'm saying is something that is totally reasonable. Yeah. That the Panthers can look across the ice and think that they're facing something that might be better than that. But I think Edmonton can do that too. Yeah.

Let me explain something here, Dan. They're not giving you what you want. What you want is tears. They're giving you confidence. I'm not giving confidence. He literally just sold my take. Yeah, they might be better. And if that's how this ends, I guess, yeah, shit. We ran into the player of his generation that is peaking at 28 years old and doing all the things. And Greg Cody should shut his mouth when it comes to Connor McDavid's defense. He showed you that was the best offensive forward. McSelkie on the ice. He saved everything.

several plays several chances for edmonton i don't understand why there's this notion because maybe he's not winning the selkie award and people aren't talking about it because he's a demigod offensively but there is no reason for conor mcdavid to not be one of if not the best defensive forwards in the league he has all the tools he has the instincts he has the speed to make up for mistakes he showed you why he was much better defensively than dry sidle who's

awesome this year. He was much better than Barkov, who's an all-timer defensively. He was incredible last night. What do you guys yell whenever McDavid gets the puck around mid-ice and he's getting going? I'm always like, cut him off! It's so hard to do that. Just me with a beer in my hand. Cut him off!

Like as if that's an easy thing to do. That's right. It's good coaching. It's good advice. Stop him! Be faster than the fastest man alive. That's me every time. He gets the puck. He gets going with the speed. I'm like, cut off! Ratic bunk! That's good. I just sort of try to catch my breath and gasp a little bit and whimper. I put my hands on my head. I'm like, ah! Jerome and Gitla! When they are on a power play and they have possession, I am just hands on head like, ah! Ah! Ah!

They have the thing every team wants. It's not just the greatest player. It's not just the player. It's not just the player. It's what they are on the power play. It's basically your entire fan base feels like it's on skates going backwards. The entire, the entire, the entire fan base is backpedaling. It's the greatest player ever. I know dry sidles really good. He's won the heart trophy, which is the MVP of that league. I,

The West was so competitive this year. I'm not exactly sure Edmonton gets into the playoffs without Connor McDavid. They have the best player. They have the best player that it doesn't matter how good your defense is. You know where the puck is going, and he's terrifying every time out. His best is better than your best every time. You have to win when he's off the ice. That's what they have.

They have the best player. They are in this position because they have Connor McDavid. It's not anything else. Yes, you can pull puppet strings and other guys can make contributions. They're probably not even a playoff team without that guy. I thought both goalies were great last night. Yeah, they were. Skinner made some big-time, timely saves. I thought Bobrovsky was probably playing a little fast and loose and sloppy with the puck.

That was a little throwback to last postseason. He became someone that you can trust, and this was the messiest he's been with the puck. But he still saved us a lot. Yeah, he was huge. He was huge. Rebound control has always been an issue with him, and you saw that on the first goal, and there were screens in front of him where you could not see the puck for the other two goals in regulation, so...

That's what happened. But Bobrowski, he looked pretty good tonight. I think he sold it in, and obviously mistakes by the Panthers kind of wrecked him. You have been stoic. You've been all bravado. You say no fear at every turn. What would I have had to do last night to place fear in you? Is there a result? A blowout maybe? I don't think. No, because last season there were a couple of blowouts in Edmonton. I wasn't phased about it at all. With a 3-0 lead, yeah. We're good. We can survive this 6-1.

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This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugats.

♪

The thing about last night, I think you would all agree with this part. Those things that Edmonton specifically did to beat you are the most demoralizing of the things. It's their two best players. You had a confidence about we're unbeaten with Maurice if we lead after two periods. If we're unbeaten with Maurice in the playoffs, if we lead after one period, after two periods, and obviously after three periods,

You have a situation where they took from you the stat you guys loved. They took one game into the series and in the most heartbreaking way it's overtime. How did you guys sleep last night? I'm dead serious about this. When you lose that late, you can't get right back. You can't get right to sleep, can you? I slept like a

baby. There's a funny thing that happens to you as you get older because I don't care about either of these teams. I was just rooting for that game to be over and over. This is what's happening around here. You had Stugatz rooting for no double overtime and you had Jeremy and I don't know what we did to make this so, although I can guess Jeremy found himself rooting against the Panthers last night just because of our show. Just a little bit. Like I really love that team. I enjoyed covering them, but

What this show has done in terms of the bravado around this team and more importantly, this was a show that

hated on Broward County to a point where it made me a self-hating resident of Broward County. And now the moment that this Miami Heat show faces a difficult moment, the moment the Miami Heat face even a little bit of turbulence, it's, oh, we're going to jump ship and go all be Panthers fans. A thing that was never spoken about on this show.

Until very recently. And then we're bringing in people just to be Panthers fans? Wait, we have to pick between teams then? That's sure what happened. You guys are quitters. You quit on your franchise and you jumped ship over to this other team. Billy, you were the one who was right. It was a must win yesterday. They were in the finals at the same exact time as eight seeds. What the hell are you talking about? I understand this, but at this moment,

The moment things got difficult for the Miami Heat, you guys jumped ship and all of a sudden embraced this Broward County team. And I'll tell you, it just doesn't sit right. No, the moment they acquired Terry Rozier, you idiot. Get out of here. Can you send him away? I started far before that. What was that? He hasn't been here all week, although I did like Billy in the background doing this saying, speed it up, speed it up.

You know, right. They're front runners. I'm a captain of efficiency, Dan. I know this about you. Jeremy's star efforts, but not me. I think Jeremy's criticism is a fair one. I will tell you, and I don't mind saying this out loud, what I'm seeing out of Edmonton, you will see no bravado from me.

You will see no bravado. I've watched enough hockey in my life to know to respect what is at the center of that team. But we were right there with them. You should respect the Panthers, too. Do ya? Or should we put up the McOverrated graphic behind ya? This is what we told you. This is not me. This is Greg Cody's opinion that he adheres to. Wait a minute. What do you mean?

I know to respect what is at the center of that team. Billboards? I do. Should we do more billboards? Well, wait a minute. It doesn't mean I respect it more than my commitment to the joke when Greg Cody can make himself the middle of the Stanley Cup final. All right, cool. A little footnote to that statement then.

But when I'm watching, and you guys have made fun of me the last couple of days because I continue to give him what I believe is bestowing my highest reverence by continuing to say of McDavid, what cometh this way? I'm describing it. It's the way you have to say it. Well, but it's because I hear dinosaur steps. Like, they sound like dinosaur steps. I said it last night. I was like, he's cometh. Yeah.

Don't let him come in. Don't let him come in. When Bennett scored that second goal, though, I came in.

He's so good. You gotta pay him what he wants. You know, that is a franchise record for postseason goals, quietly. Sam Bennett has. It also ties an NHL record for goals by a single player on the road. Can the TNT crew stop talking about him making money this offseason? Every time he has a good period, they go to TNT and they're like, man, Sam Bennett's gonna get the bank this year. We're trying to blow our thing up. He'll stay because he represents my city. Huh? Hmm.

I don't know exactly what it is that Jeremy is doing with this. Neither do I. We're not talking about the heat because they were eliminated two months ago. I got up in the air with it, but I'm leaning in. My city. You know what? I got to get rid of him. I'm sorry. I was so delayed. He hasn't been here all week. I know, but... Hold the umbrella. Just get some away. Two minutes. Rambling.

The face behind Billy Gill right now. Are they still celebrating at that arena? That face right there. That is Edmonton. That is. Those people are so happy. That dry-cidal moment. That goal is something. That guy. That guy.

That's the guy. He's freezing on that guy. It is so Edmonton right there. Look at the diversity of that crowd. It seems like it's people from all over the world enjoying hockey. Three candidates. People in the hockey chat were like, man, look at that crowd. You think there's a crowd like that outside of the Amerint Bank Arena? I'm like, there's one place to go in Edmonton. It's that building.

Of course they're all gonna be there.

Look at that guy. What is the age? What is the correct age for the feeling that Stugatz is talking about, which he's laying on the couch and he's actively rooting for no double overtime. He's rooting against the game being better. I remember. Can you guys look up for me? I remember my first hockey game. First hockey game I ever saw was Billy Smith's Islanders. And I believe it was like a three or four overtime game that they had with Mike Bossy and somebody else. That's a good name.

I didn't even know. I didn't even know. That was Gretzky. No, that was Gretzky. Dane Poppin.

I didn't even know that there could be such a thing as a playoff game because I just didn't know anything about hockey. I'm literally watching on network television. There are three channels in whatever year it is that it would be that they would be showing the hockey finals. I'm not even sure. It wouldn't have been on tape delay, right? That was basketball back then that would have been on tape delay. But there was a three or four overtime game and it just kept going and going and going.

What age do you become so old that you don't even want double overtime anymore? You don't even care about the investment that you've made. Like, to me, that's like walking out of a movie three minutes before it's over. Right. I mean, when it's a Stanley Cup, you don't want it to end. But when that goal went in, well, actually, when the penalty happened, I'm like, it saves me like 40 bucks on the sitter. Let's beat traffic. It's not game seven. This rate is friendly. It's game one.

Billy's won half of the sticky bandits over my shoulder. But Dan, if you're into the game, I don't think you care. Like, I don't, I'm not certain if this is the game you're talking about, but the Islanders first cup was a goal by Bobby Nystrom from John Tonelli, which happened, I don't know, with seven minutes left in overtime, the first overtime.

But you'll stay up. When you're young and you care about the team that's playing for the Stanley Cup, you'll stay up all night and watch the game. I'm just getting old. Game four, the 96 Stanley Cup final against Colorado. It's like the latest I had ever stayed up during a school night. So, Billy, we did not talk about this yesterday. Your Marlins were swept by the Colorado Rockies, who came into the...

that series not having won a series in more than 250 days yeah they sweep your marlins uh did you pay attention to that series did you have you wandered over to where the panthers are with any kind of caring or were you just wounded from being swept by the rockies and had no time for any sports last night no i i had the i had the hockey game on the stanley cup the panthers and the oilers the

Marlins had a nooner yesterday. I think it was like a 12-4. They were done early. They were done like 2-30. Ah, getaway day. Rockies came in. Rockies had won, I believe, nine games coming into the series, and they won three games this series. So a third of their wins, well, now a quarter of their wins of the 12 have come in the last three games. Don't look now. Oh, don't look now. Rockies are coming. Getting hot. Yeah. Here come the Rocks. Just like that, the Rocks are back. Ha, ha, ha.

So you do realize that the Rockies, because they started 8-50, started worse than any team in the history of our most historic sport. Yeah, it's too bad. People should have taken the over on the season wins. I think it was 37-1⁄2. Who knows what it is now? I'm going to look into this now. It's probably damn near 39 after that series. Well, this is weird, right? Because the Dodgers were – the win total for the Dodgers this year was over 104-1⁄2.

Do you realize what the Dodgers are in their last 18 games, Sturgatz?

I'm going to say like 15-3. They're 8-10. What? Dodgers are playing another sport. Dodgers aren't in Major League Baseball. Enough with the Dodgers. That's how you play the games, dude. They're 8-10 in their last 18. What do you mean they're playing another sport? They lose more than Carl Anthony Towns. No, Dodgers will be fine. Don't worry about the Dodgers. If you're worried about the Dodgers, you're being a silly boy. The Dodgers are going to be just fine. Dave Roberts is going to be there forever. Dodgers...

Let me start on that. Okay. Did you just call Cat a loser? I said they win less than Carl Anthony Towns because I was making a callback to Carl Anthony Towns as a winning record, but only if you include his college career. He has a losing record in the pros, but if you include what he did. What'd you call him? I didn't call him a loser. I only called...

the City of Toronto losers, the Maple Leaf franchise. I only call franchises losers and cities. I do not call individuals losers. It's a little life rule. That's where you draw the line? Yes, it's easier to take out a whole city without taking out any one person personally. But what if it's an individual sport where the person is the franchise? Then can they be a loser? Like, can a golfer be a loser or a tennis player be a loser? I don't call human beings losers. But they're the franchise, then.

Dan. You're not better than me. That's a good take, Chris. I don't know if I agree with it, but it's a good take. You don't call people losers. Do you call people stars? I don't call myself a star. Neither do I. A whole bunch of other people did, including you. Come here. Let me f*** you. I knew there was a reason you two were in together today.

Mike Ryan has an exclusive Ronaldo report. How are we dressing these up? How are we dressing up your exclusive reports? So I put on the journalism cap. Wow. As you know, I broke the biggest story in soccer history when I was on the messy beat for a year and a half, nailing it.

as other reputable reporters were telling you the opposite. I was telling you Messi to Miami is a real distinct possibility, and then I broke that Messi was coming. This is a big name we're talking about. Is this a bigger story? No. No. Cristiano Ronaldo is out of contract. He's renegotiating with his current club, Mesa in Saudi Arabia, Tbilisi.

He wants to play in the Club World Cup, and I happen to know Johnny Infantino, the head of FIFA, is kind of pressuring teams that are in this Club World Cup to sign Ronaldo. They have this media rights package that's on DAZN here in this country, like 24 of the games on TNT. He wants this to be big. This is the first Club World Cup, and he wants...

the face, the co-face of a generation, Cristiano Ronaldo in it. So if he's pressuring all these clubs, one would wonder, hey, Inter-Miami is one of these clubs in the Club World Cup. Might they have interest in potentially loaning Cristiano Ronaldo for just this tournament and perhaps form a super team of Messi and Ronaldo? Yes, they're up there, but how incredible would that be? An olive branch, the two most divisive fan bases coming together. Inter-Miami, no interest. What?

What? You happen to know? No interest. Why? No interest in Cristiano Ronaldo. I think the reason is pretty obvious.

So we'll leave it at that. That's Messi saying he has no interest? No interest in Cristiano Ronaldo here at Inter-Miami. Maybe he'll find another club in the Club World Cup. We'll see. I don't know where he's going, but I'm pretty sure he ain't Inter-Miami. Wow, soccer so close to being back. What is your highest report? Is it I happen to know or I know for a fact? Like what is your highest? This one I kick the tires on.

I was like, hey, you know, I hear Infantino is pressuring these clubs in the World Cup to sign Ronaldo. Anything? No? Okay, cool. I'll just see myself out. That was kind of how that one went. That's kicking the tires. Yeah, a little kick of the tires, and I'm here to exclusively report. Don't Photoshop Cristiano Ronaldo in an Inter-Miami jersey. I don't think that's going to happen.

The kicking of the tires, that has to be bicycles, right? That tells you nothing if you kick an automobile tire, correct? It will tell you much of nothing? Sometimes it hurts. The kicking of tires has to be a bicycle before you realize whether a tire... You can't tell totally. You can either see that an automobile tire is flat...

Or you can feel it from driving, but kicking a tire, that's not going to have anything to do with an automobile tire, is it? The phrase dates to the earliest days of trucking when a tire might look inflated but actually be flat because the other tires on the same axle were holding it up. So drivers would strike the tire with a tool called a tire billy.

which resembles a billy club, to determine whether you had a flat. Thank you, Jeremy. That's why you're the star that you are. So it's not bicycles. It's the biggest vehicle we have. It is. It's the truck. Yeah, it's the truck. I wouldn't have known that. You mentioned journalism, and I was...

Listening to some sounds here, Stu Gatz, and I wanted to get your thoughts before I play this sound. The feud between Pablo Torre and Bill Simmons that has now ended because Bill Simmons hadn't actually seen any of the reporting Pablo had done and just had commentary that wasn't informed by anything. That's how you do it, Dano. They reconciled. If I tell you the sports hub in Boston was talking about this feud between Pablo Torre finds out and...

Bill Belichick and Bill Simmons. Can you tell me where you think the sports hub in Boston would side in this particular feud? I think they'll side with Pablo over Bill Simmons. I'm not certain the guys at the sports hub really like Bill Simmons that much. Bill Simmons is a Boston icon, is he not? Bill Simmons is the sports hub. I would assume that the sports hub would be a...

a place where you would find a haven for Bill Simmons, but I was a bit shocked when I heard the commentary on the Sports Hub. I get it. You're so much better than this, but you're doing a podcast on a movie from 1978. That's what everyone's got time for. You know what? What the hell is he talking about? During a podcast...

referring to a movie that no one's seen for 40 years, you've got the audacity that a movie that came out when I was three, that's not the Godfather or something, that you're, during that exercise, you're talking about Pablo Torre is wasting everyone's time with the Belichick story? You're literally doing something, the most frivolous thing that you could ever do. So Pablo Torre is the 50 cent of journalism. Pablo Torre.

Anything you need from me, baby, you reach out. We're all here for you. We got your back. Pablo Torre, the greatest sports journalist in the world. That's just shocking to hear all of that. The 50 Cent. What does he mean by that? He said no one wants to beef with him. You can't beef with him. You shouldn't beef with him. He's going to open up his briefcase and he's going to say, I happen to have a few questions for you. And then you're just going to melt in his journalistic breath. Anything you need from me, baby.

Billy, why are you shaking your head? I don't know what I just heard. It was an odd turn there. The ending of that is where it crescendos. I was not expecting any of those people to say any of that. But for it to end with he's the 50 cent of journalism, which means no one wishes to beef with him. He has escalated to that point very quickly. So Pablo Torre is the 50 cent of journalism.

Boston's also out on Belichick, though, right? That didn't end great. They're looking for things to make Belichick look bad at the moment. One of the things they did in sideswiping Simmons is they kept saying, if you were still from here...

you'd know how people hollywood i mean if you know how people here feel about belichick and that story mike i hate it as well uh it doesn't matter that bill moved across the country to la to the place that boston hates the most he could still cover boston sports in 2025 and do it very well but that's where i knew those guys would go you know what i think anytime i i see bill simmons i'm like this guy doesn't rep boston enough that's what i think anytime what do

Like, we're going to hipster shame as if, like, you know, I like Bill Simmons' first couple albums. What are we doing? Well, Pablo Torres' Boston years were Harvard.

We got your back. Which tend to be things that annoy people. How often he reminds... Right at the top of the Simmons podcast, he says, I didn't fly in for this. I was here for the pee bottle. Yeah, that was a flex. Well done. That was a mad flex. And also, like, a good shame card to pull. Like, you kind of ruined that for me a little bit by not calling me a journalist. I...

The whole thing was silly. And I think they both reacted in kind when they recorded the podcast and you realize all of this is very stupid. Congratulations to Pablo for winning the big trophy, huh? The Peabody. He didn't win it. But Awful Announcing did put out a story saying that he won the beef. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They said decisively he won the beef. Wow. I wrote the article under my nom de plume. I have seen an uptick. What's going on here?

We must be doing numbers. Congratulations to Pablo Torre for officially winning the beef, according to Awful Announcing.

a giant victory, but to win it in Boston. If he could only win one, the beef with Bill Simmons or the Peabody, which one do you think Pablo would choose? The Peabody. Really? I choose Simmons. Fun game, though. Peabody. Pablo really wanted the Peabody. But he likes the attention, too. He does like the attention. He does.

Pablo, I remember, this is a funny memory. It used to be behind me in the coloring book of Pablo crowd surfing at the MAS Miami. But the funny memory is him standing at the end of the stage and whispering before turning his back and allowing those people to just carry him across the crowd on his back.

He just says the child in me as a kindergarten kindergartner who always wanted to be seen wouldn't even recognize this person I've become who wants to do this thing where he crowd surfs. He loves attention so much. Christ, man, just crowd surf. I mean, anything you need for me, baby. That was the part.

That feels a little bit like... Insincere. That's the most Hollywood thing I've heard. Anything you need from me, baby. They're criticizing the Hollywood bona fides of Bill Simmons while sounding like a producer. This is really a spectacularly insincere overreach. Anything you need from me, baby.

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