Local Hour: That's How You Play Hockey
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If you thought the show was hockey annoying before, the way that Chris Cody swaggered in here today, part swagger, part jiggle.

A lot of jiggle. Oh, what a time. The whole hockey world is rooting for Connor McDavid. We should be rooting for Connor McDavid. All-time great story. Nope. Florida. Sunrise. Heat. Not the Miami heat. It's just hot down here. Oh, what a time. 6-1. The world's been around for a billion years, and we happen to be alive at the time that we could watch that last night. Yeah.

Speaking of it being hot at the moment, we're officially at the time of year and it's about to get hotter where I walk out of the house and my forearms immediately start sweating. That happens fast. I'm not even talking about, I'm not even moving yet. There's such swampiness here. Do you understand how mad that makes Canada that they can't take the trophy out of the quicksand in the swamp? It's that time of year where you park your car at your house and it's like,

Got to walk inside now. Man, the walk from the parking lot to the arena entrance last night. No, yesterday was not good. Not good at all. Well, this is a funny complaint because Sunrise is spread out. It's in the Everglades. It's basically a whole bunch of airboats and then just asphalt and the Stanley Cup.

It's a weird place for it. It is super strange. I'm not kidding you when I'm saying you're closer to alligator wrestling than you are to the rest of civilization. Sounds like nobody did two-a-days in full pads. Amen. That's what it sounds like to me. It's hotter than it's ever been. This is the worst it's ever been.

I can't imagine walking. You walked all the way from a car to a building? Oh my gosh. Oh, let's rescue these guys. We should probably get them some motor scooters. That arena. That would help. For people who don't understand, that arena, the parking lot is one place, and then the arena is the same way that the casinos in Vegas are right there. You can just walk to them if you're willing to walk what looks like six blocks, but is actually three miles. How many tackles you got to make between there and the arena, though?

Depends on the ballet. He's going to always have that card on us that he put a hand in the dirt, that his hotter was hotter than our hot because he played football. Still got some grit under these nails. How long are each of those practices? Two days. Two hours. Four hours. That's one. You practice once. I am not kidding you when I say I feel bad for the Miami Dolphins this time of year.

I feel terrible. I don't know. I don't care how much they're paid to be in pads in this weather. Again, I leave the house before I get to the sidewalk. My forearms are sweating. I'm talking trash. I did all my training camps were in Denver and Baltimore. And when I was president union, I was still an active player. And there was like something that took place in New Orleans. So I had to get on a flight and go to New Orleans. I went to New Orleans and got off the plane and almost retired on the spot.

It was so damn thick down there. In July, it was just thick. Cemetery hot. I got off the plane, and it just felt like I was walking through soup. And I was like... And so I had to go talk to the team between two-a-day practices. I think it was like...

the Bounty Gate thing was popping. And I had to go talk to them between practices. And I don't think anybody could hear anything because I assume that in those conditions, most of your organs shut down and all the blood just goes to like your heart, your lungs, and your brain. So I don't think their ears were working. When you say it's soup, are you saying like clam chowder? Because the other thing New Orleans does though is because the bodies are above ground, you also get the scent of death. Lobster bisque is so good.

It is so good. Yeah, I think that's a better word. It felt like I stepped off the plane into a bisque. Put it on the poll, Juju, please. Better soup, lobster bisque or clam chowder? This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast. What is the best of the soups? French onion.

French onion's a great nominee. I would think it a first ballot hall of famer and it would be in any conversation on the soups. But we started with lobster bisque and we started with clam chowder. French onion is not a standalone soup. Love where you're going with this. No one like I think French onion, it comes along with a sandwich. Makes me work too hard. Yeah, like give me French onion and I need something else. A clam chowder though?

A lobster bisque? That's a meal. You're having a standalone soup as a meal ever? I don't think there's any soup that makes it as a whole meal. A soup's always a starter. I don't like when a soup, I have to get my other hand involved. And that, like, you always have to break the cheese up and stuff. It's just, it's a difficult eat. I like the taste of it, but just overall, too much work for me. I think it depends on the circumstances. I agree with you. Most of the time, it is a starter. But something about the creaminess of a bisque

or a chowder feels more substantial. Like, I feel like there's a different category. Like, chicken noodle soup? Chicken noodle soup's a meal. Well, I want to see... No, it's not a meal. Yes, it is. I'm willing to grant you... Yeah, when you have a cold. It's not an entire meal.

I'm willing to grant you, though, that this can be an entire meal, but it's based on thickness. Correct? There are three soups and it's got to be thick and the bready stuff in the French onion is what's making it qualify. Are we all in on the fact? Who's getting into the rankings if our gold, silver, and bronze medalists are clam chowder, lobster bisque, and French onion on the high-end thick soups, decadent soups that pass for a meal? Is there anything else? Is there a fourth option? I feel like...

I think what comes to mind is a soup that I would like to be kicked out of the soup family. Gazpacho. Yeah. Can't have a cold soup. Nah. I know you call it a soup. I get it. But I don't know. That's cereal. I don't know what it is. It's cold. Tomato soup, but like the cold kind? Yeah, the cold kind. But it feels thick, but I don't want it. All right.

I'm going to allow it as a poll question at Levitard Show. Should gazpacho be kicked out of the soup family? But I was not aware. Does it qualify indeed as a soup? Because I think soups have to be warm. You can't be you cannot be a soup if you are not warm by definition in my mind.

Yeah, it does. I think I mean we can put it on the poll But I do believe that people consider gazpacho a suit. I love our Roy's like it does qualify Unfortunately, well it is unfortunate very much It's unfortunate because I put it on the pole at Levittard show does a soup have to be warm and then put on the pole as well is gazpacho a goddamn suit because I'm saying it's not

I'm saying you can't be cold in a soup and he's right when he wants to kick it out of the soup family. I'm saying it shouldn't even be in the soup family. Why is it in the soup family? Zaslow seems happy.

That's the best the Panthers can play, right? They cannot play better than that. Just suffocate, strangle Dreisaitl and McDavid and make my analysis hours earlier seem spectacularly loud wrong when I said with great conviction, we all know, right, that Edmonton is the one that can win a 6-1 game, not Florida. Well, it is the best they can play. But he can't win it!

It's also the worst that the Oilers can play. They were terrible. Absolutely terrible. I thought it was a wacky game. Like, I don't even know if I would call that the best the Panthers could play. So many power plays. The third period was just like chaos. The second period was the only period that actually felt like a hockey game. That first period, Evander Kane, just, Roy, what is he doing? What a loser. I mean, he's out there trying to hurt people. It's not like his performance in game one where his physicality made a difference. He was out there swinging a stick trying to hit me. You know we did to Evander Kane.

I feel like 80% of that third period, that happens to every team. When there's a blowout in a playoff game, it's going to get chippy. 20% of that was over the line, Roy. Are we going to look at any suspensions here? No. There might be a fine for a woman's spraying of the water bottle across the bench. What a loser move. So wait, Ed, there was 1,000 fights, 800 late hits, and we're finding the guy who squirted the water bottle three feet to the other side and missed it. He went across the line.

Yeah. Well, you with the made-up stat, 20%. Like, where are you coming up with? If that had happened during a basketball game, the news coverage for a month would have been how out of control the NBA is. If simply some of those fights. But I'm telling you, when you get a game that gets to be 4-1, 5-1 in the playoffs, a lot of what you saw last night is going to happen with any two teams. You are going to get a team that is just –

Needing what, Dominique? You called it chippy. Like, that wasn't chippy. Unless you're talking about people chipping teeth. It wasn't chippy. There was blood. There was tongues out. There were fists being thrown. It wasn't chippy. I swear, that wasn't that uncommon in a blowout playoff game. I think you're wrong. You've got to be specific. A blowout playoff hockey game. That is out of control for any other major sport. Like, the way Frederick...

went after Bennett. That was over the line. There were a few cross... There were three or four things where I'm like, they should take a look at that. But outside of that, it was just blowout chippiness. I just want you to be clear that it's hockey. Because if this happened in soccer, if one punch was thrown in the MLS or in the NFL or in the NBA, we can't call it chippy. It feels like you are underappreciating how violent that hockey match was or hockey game was because that's not chippy.

This description of his is because what's been normalized is the barbaric savagery that is that sport this time of year. So Chris Cody feels comfortable. Cheeto crumbs on his hand saying they should take a look at that when someone's hitting someone else with a stick. I mean, Kachuk got speared. And Chris is like...

Sure is chippy. Can someone take a look at that? That looked chippy. Yeah, and they aren't. I just asked Roy. He's like, maybe there'll be a fine. They aren't even going to take a look at it. I was complaining about the walk-in because I'm not tough enough to walk in from the parking lot. Take a look at that.

It looks chippy down there. No, they hate each other. They're fighting for the cup and hockey allows these people to be more primitive than any athletes roaming the earth and gives them blades on their feet. Dan, how does anyone with a straight face? I mean, look, Dominique, you play in the NFL. How does anyone with a straight face watch what happened last night and then still try and say the Stanley Cup is

is not the hardest trophy to win in sports. Well, what happened last night, it was a 6-1 blowout. So you're trying to argue to me that it's the hardest thing to win just because it's really chippy? But like Matthew Kachuk is saying after the game yesterday, we talked about this in the third period, you know, if you got to take a punch in the face, do whatever you got to do. There's a bigger picture here.

I mean, we're saying this after, I hope we get into this at some point, but Frank Ragnow fractured his throat. So you get out of here with that. I generally hate the people that like fall in love with their sports so much that they try to like argue that other people's sports are worse. Like I'm not trying to say like football is so much better because I played football. Like the people who say, this is our game. We got to protect our game. Like I'm not that guy. I don't,

own any of this up however what i will not stand for is someone trying to tell me that there is something out there that is more dangerous i'll give you equally but there's nothing more he is 300 pounds did someone fractured his throat uh yeah that usa today story on how it is that armstead retires early in football uh dominique allowed us to get away with this yesterday

He hadn't been here in a while, and so he allowed us to get away with saying that's the toughest trophy to win yesterday.

Today he's not having it. Fractured his throat. And he never even played in the Super Bowl. Armstead tore up his knee in his third year and said he'd never practice again because he couldn't move his leg without painkillers. He only took painkillers on game day, and he played for, what, 13 years? Fractured? Yeah, his throat. Fractured? Yeah, his throat. His throat. Hey, yo.

I didn't know. Did you know that? Did you know that that could, did you know that that was a thing at Levitard show? Uh, did you know you could fracture your throat?

Because the most painful injury I had ever heard in sports before was a Mariners catcher on a foul tip who fractured his testicle. I did not know a testicle could be fractured. Worst thing to fracture. I think it just ruptures, Dan. I don't think you can fracture it. I think it like explodes on contact. I understand. That's sort of what I thought as well. But no, you can indeed fracture a testicle. Let's put it on the pole, I think. Exploded worse or fractured worse?

I mean, honestly, this may come as a surprise to you guys, but whether it's exploded or fractured, I'd rather that down there than fracture my throat. I got three kids. I'm done. You can have one of them. Yeah, but what if you had zero? Not the kids, the testicles.

Put it on the poll. What's worse, fractured throat or fractured testicle? Because think about that one for a second. I think instantaneously you might go testicle and then you think about eating and breathing and stuff. And fractured throat seems terrible. Yeah, I think if you fractured your throat, you'd be afraid that you're going to die. If you fractured your testicle, I'd be like, oh, this really hurts, but I'm not going to die. I mean, do you want to live, though? Yeah.

Do I want to try it? I don't know. Dominique, so you're objecting officially to the idea, it's not consensus for you, that this is the hardest trophy to win in sports. I mean, I don't care what is the hardest. I don't think it's the hardest. We can go through a bunch of different sports and different things test you in different ways. However, I thought last night's game was incredibly fun and funny.

And yeah, those guys, I'm not going to say hockey players aren't tough. They're tough as hell. But what I won't have happen is you guys try to subjugate other athletes and say, you know what? No one's saying football players aren't tough, though. Oh, no, no. I don't need your validation. Okay, good. I'll subjugate them.

Oh, he will over there. Take a look at that. You guys, it's getting chippy down there. Marshawn agreed with me. They talked to him after the game. He's like, look, in a blowout game, it's going to that third period. A lot of that stuff is going to Zaz, a lot of that stuff is going to happen in a third period of a blowout playoff game. I don't agree for a couple reasons. Number one, we didn't see that

last year and we went seven games. All right. And it's the same team. And number two, how many times, and you can talk about this in the regular season too, are you getting a line fight? Not a line scrum. We had a line fight. Nurse and Gadjo fought for like four minutes. Well, Chippy down there, they should take a look at that. Imagine a four minute fight in the NBA. Fuck.

Imagine just four minutes of fighting in the NBA. What would we be doing in the coverage of that? Wouldn't it be great if the Pacers get blown out tomorrow night and with like three minutes left of the game, all five guys, they all square off at different points of the court and they just fight.

Because it happened with Bennett, that altercation. So then what happens in those things is like everyone kind of just gets somebody. It's like I'm going to grab somebody and Nurse ended up with Gajevic and Nurse is like, I want no part of this. So he just for four minutes was just like trying to. I honestly feel bad for Nurse about three minutes into that. I'm like, just stop this already. Was the entire fight time of the Malice in the Palace equal to four minutes or no?

It echoed for decades because Steven Jackson looked like that for three seconds. Three seconds? For three seconds he looked like that. Never mind three and four minutes of fighting. It spilled into the stands and the National Guard was called in. Can you imagine if the hockey fights spilled into the stands? That's happened a few times, but what we saw last night, I don't want to wander too far away in the noise and the fireworks and the silliness from

Holy shit. The Panthers put it on Edmonton. Edmonton did play poorly, but that was also done to them. McDavid and Dreisaitl don't look like that very often. Dreisaitl actually looked like that an awful lot last postseason, which I think in retrospect we could say that he was hurt. But that was strangled out of Edmonton last night. And it was done a minute into the game. A minute into the game, the

The announcement is you're going to be trailing all night. You're going to be chasing this all night. And they can. Edmonton is good enough offensively. But when their power play does nothing, doesn't even produce reasonable chances, and then it turns into an all-out fight...

and the Panthers are the only ones scoring, you get the best game the Panthers can play. They can't play better than that. Doing that to this team, both offensively and defensively in that game, there is no better game that the Panthers have played the last three seasons than that one.

Yeah, they have two games left to win, but honestly, it's looking like either Sam Bennett or Brad Moshant. Let's cool it on the consmite talk. Again, two more games. Come on. Two more games. You got to look at how Sam Bennett is. He's leading the league right now. I get it. I get it. But two more games. You know what? Thank you, Zaz, because, Roy, I saw this happen this morning, and it made me sad. Look, Dominique knows what I'm talking about. What's going on there, Chuckles? Dominique. Dominique. Uh-oh.

Dominique comes in here today and he sees Roy and he says to Roy, heartfelt and joyous, congratulations.

It's not over. He got mad at me. He looked me in the eyes and said, it's not over. Right, so I'm surprised that now he's trying to count Conn Smythe votes. No, he's a media member. He's preparing. He has to think about all this stuff, heading up to making these decisions. He's mad Dworky has a vote and he doesn't. Yeah, I am. Is that true? Well, it's my first year in the Professional Hockey Writers Association, and I got one vote this year. For what? For Masterton.

Which one is that? That's the dedication to hockey. Tell Dominique what that is. That's dedication to hockey. Doesn't sound like a big one. I don't understand. All of us were like, you were very proud of that vote, and all of us are like, that's a nice vote. What vote is that? It's dedication to hockey. So how do you assess who's the most dedicated? Well, it's not really a...

It's not really a person who comes back from injury, you know, like somebody who's retiring, like a Pat Maroon. Who'd you vote for? I love Roy, like, at the arena. See him who gets there early. Lundell here early. Good. Like, keeping notes. It wasn't. I didn't vote for him.

I don't like how he's disrespecting your vote back there. I'm more disrespecting the award, like the dedication award. Oh, take a look at that over there. They should take a look at that. Why should they take a look at it, Chris? Because we broke them mentally late in that game. As much as I'm saying a lot of that was expected, a lot of it wasn't. It was ridiculous.

And to be fair... My daughter was there. I was sitting next to my daughter. Oh, oh, oh. She was shielding her eyes. Because her daughter was there. Oh, my gosh. We shouldn't have a line brought. Because her daughter's there. I was shielding her eyes from that. Daughter? My daughter was there? It made me like... She's like, Daddy, why are they doing that? I'm like, because we've broken them mentally. That's why we're doing that, Gracelyn. All right. Are you as uncomfortable as I am with...

him saying, we've broken them mentally. We, huh? I was disgusted. I mean, to be clear, what really hurt me about me congratulating Roy and Roy's response was, I was congratulating Roy on

the successful BET Awards last night, and Roy was like, we're not done yet. It is done. Kendrick got all awards, Roy. Congratulations to you and me. We did it. Yeah, we did do it. We did it. We did do it. The second America did it. I think Zaslow could say we. I feel like I could say we. He's the only one who can. About the BET Awards? Actually, Chris can say we. That's right. Chris can't say we. You haven't seen the reports. He's a season ticket holder, so maybe he can. Jim?

Gingers. Thank you. They did say that. He can say we. I got it. I'm going to go ahead and stand up and say, nah. What? Nah. Revoked it. I don't know who started this. Science. How about that? I don't know who started it. Revoked. I also need to have a conversation because I've been skipping a lot of meetings. I haven't been participating in votes. I've been there. We let Jimmy Swimms in or Timmy Teddy Swimms? The Swimms?

It's Teddy Swims. Oh, we let him in? You let a couple guys in. He was getting nominated for stuff. I thought we learned our lesson with Justin Timberlake. What are we doing? It takes more than a banger to get let in. I would like to register my disappointment. I don't know about Teddy Swims getting nominated. I don't know much about Teddy Swims. I got to be honest because I called him Jimmy. But also...

nobody. That's a fine calling him Jimmy. Zaslow, the reason he gets credit and can say we is because he ended a family vacation early because his team needed him. By a show of hands, anyone else end their vacation early for the Panthers? No.

Anyone else on their vacation because their team needed them? Anyone? Bueller? Zaslo can say we. Bueller reference. I have heard in my ear said, by the way, I've been told that gazpacho is a cold soup only in summer and only in Spain. So it's a regional soup. You ever been to Spain in the summer, Dan? Where it's allowed. I have been, Tony. Swampy. Yes, it's very.

Europe and summer. What the are we doing? That's right. That is correct, Tony. Yes. Sun is the correct. No, no. It's the sun. It's very hot. Yes. Not sun. It's the sun. Venice smells bad. It's so hot. Yes. 20%, huh, Chris? 20% over norm for you last night on fight. Four-minute fight. All right. Maybe 30%.

Oh, wow. There's never fights in the playoffs. They had a line fight last night, and Chris is trying to tell me, Chippy, it happens. Outside of that line fight, you do see in a blowout... It's kind of a big thing, though. Like, extra...

Like, cross-checks. Like, this does happen. Like, I think a lot of people... Like, Dominique swooping in for hockey playoffs last night was probably like, holy shit! Where really, it was like outside of that line fight, which is ridiculous. Because I'm parachuting in, what I do know about hockey is that...

the first hockey games were played with frozen cow poop and their fights. Yeah. So that's all because it's the one thing, I guess also being on. No, there are lots of other sports on ice. It's the only sport other than combat sports where combat is acceptable. So yes, I'm watching hockey last night. And for me, you're like, Oh,

I'm like, oh, yeah, they out there hockeying. Well, but this coverage by Chris is bad in that Kane had more penalty minutes in that game than he had in his previous 17 playoff games combined. I know Kane.

What am I saying? He was a dirty player last night. That's not normal. That kind of fight is not normal. You do not risk the ramifications. Look, we just got done with Brindamore telling his team the entire series, do not retaliate on the Panthers. It's stupid. It's how they beat you. Do not get emotional with them. It does not work. So Brindamore has lost to them consecutively, and he was pleading with his team.

Do not react! Do not retaliate! The Panthers do this! It's a style! It's a champion style! They don't care if you do not like them. They're annoying. They bother other teams. They bother other fan bases. They're dirty. They play on the line.

They've got players who are unlikable, league-wide reputations as unlikable. Who would have liked them? And Marchand is sitting there while they're unraveling last night, pointing to his head and their bench, saying, there it is again. We're in there again. We beat you last year, and we're in there again. Nico Mikula pointed and laughed at Corey Perry. Pointed and laughed. What a loser. Jonah Gajdjevic over here skating with his tongue out like, ah.

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Howdy, folks. It's Mike Ryan. Now, if you've been listening to the show a lot lately, you've heard so much playoff talk. Playoff hoops down here in South Florida were especially enamored with playoff hockey. It's not just limited to the playoffs. Motorsports, tennis, golf. It's truly one of the best times ever.

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Roy. Yes. What is your assessment? You're saying that Edmonton can't play that poorly.

I'm saying that that's the best that the Panthers can play. You're also joyless and miserable when he says to you, congratulations, and your response is, it's not over yet. It's not. They got two wins left. You can't fool me. These guys, they don't know you like I know you. You have taken all your joy and you put it on your head. Today, you're like, nah, I can't be happy, but I'm happy. And so subconsciously, when you walk through your closet today, you're

in your normal all black hat, you got the happiest hat that you could find. So I'm happy for you, Roy. I didn't want, I'm sorry to put you out there, but I know that you're happy, even though that you tried to act like you're too tough. I've got Roy's all his hats, like in order of like, from like the saddest hat to the brightest. And he just like, Oh, it's a, we're going over here today. The only time you were happier was when that,

What was it? 18 seconds? Goal was made and the Panthers were tied and going into overtime. That was the happiest you've been. That's the only time you were happy. There's the smirk. Again, I was in pain. It was a grimace. Nope, not a grimace. Again, let's focus on Rose, please, instead of Roy, because the Panthers very recently, and this is why this show's annoying. This is why this time of year, the last couple of years, the fan base aggressively turns on us, but also watches more hockey than they used to watch and...

is a member of a very small group of people now rooting for the Panthers because I do not believe that that is happening throughout the country. Now, every team says that every time, right? It's us against the world. Can you guys tell me a region, a country, a place? Maybe Barkov's, maybe...

He's so big that there is a place that has embraced the Panthers. I think Calgary's rooting for the Panthers. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Just from hate. Well, that's hate watching Edmonton. They love Kachuk and they hate Edmonton. But that's hate. Okay, that's rooting for the Panthers, but it's rooting for someone else to suffer. It's not even the same thing. I'm asking you, where are the people that Kachuk is not going to...

They're not going to be allowed to be lovable underdogs. They're not even going to be allowed to be underdogs. Where are the people rooting for them?

I don't know if people are rooting for them, but I do think they've gone above this like small market. Like I think they've gotten the respect like hockey. You listen to other hockey podcasts and it's not get these Panthers out of my life. It's more in awe of holy shit. This team is just their goalies. Great. Their defense. They can play any style. It's more just you hear this respect for this team of like, I can't believe this team has built this crazy successful unit, which is hateable.

Right, but you don't. I don't know if we've gotten there yet. No, I'm saying that there is, there was, I understand that there was a segment of hockey culture that was like, this Florida team, we hate them, they're from Florida, this isn't hockey. But now it's like, they're beating our golden boy, the one that's supposed to give us the right to say that we watched the greatest hockey player since Gretzky. You can't say it until he wins one. He's standing in the way. And every story, every hero's journey story that we've ever watched or read is

It's been about one singular special person overcoming some evil demons around them. And you guys are the evil demons. I hate to tell you this, you're the zombies in the zombie movie. You are not Indiana Jones. You're not Han Solo. I don't know what else.

Harrison Ford? I mean, I can't do anything modern. I'm old. Those are some old references. This show has now gotten annoying, and here's Zaslow's face. This is Panther fandom right here, and it's bloated, and it's arrogant, and it's telling you after that game with a sausage finger, a bratwurst in his left hand, he's pointing at you, and he's saying, that's how you play hockey.

Look, we teach it down here in the Everglades. Edmonton, that's how you play hockey. It takes seven months to get to the arena, and that's after you've parked in the parking lot.

The walk is through the Everglades. It requires an airboat. That's where the Stanley Cup resides. You cannot take it from them because that's how you play hockey. I need that picture back, man. We can't just let that sit up there. You want to wallet size that? Wallet size? I want a poster size.

Of Humpty Dumpty's grandpa. I would love to have that photo. Oh, look at that. How is the top bigger than the bottom? I'm shocked. It is great. Why is your chin up there? Yes. Confused. Yes. Beluga-esque. Yes. Yes. Your whale face. It is. You can put a narwhal horn on his forehead and you would create the most impressive animal Dominique has ever been in awe of. But we all learned one thing, though, last night.

That's how you play hockey. You do got a hockey fight ass head. Like that look like that thing could take a butt. The Luger-esque is a great one. The Panthers went up 5-1 last night after Aaron Ekblad scored. I get up off the couch in the Zaslo Mansion family room. I'm cheering. My 13-year-old looks and goes, Sam, they're up 5-1. Yeah, I mean, your head does look like 5-1. I love it. The biggest goal last night was Reinhardt, right?

Like, we're up 2-0. They get a goal early in that second period. And you're like, oh, shit. We're back. Our feel-good is gone. And then Reinhardt responds immediately with a goal. Obviously huge. But did Sam Bennett have the greatest shift in the history of Panther hockey? He absolutely did. Two hits. Two monster hits.

And on the same shift, how about this? It's about to be a two-on-none breakaway, but we're so confident in Sam Bennett that E2 Loisterinen passes the puck to Bennett and says, F it. You don't need me. And Bennett scores on the breakaway. That's Loosty in a nutshell right there. Unselfish. Good play at the blue line, too. He was the one that broke up that pass leading to the two-on-no. What size is your hat?

I mean, I get fitted hats. It's a flex cap. It's a cup. But he's right. It's stretchy? Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. You got a Lululemon hat. A little bit. Flex cap. A little bit. Dominique, I would like for you to stay generally with wherever your imagination and your curiosities take you. Nope.

on the discovery that Zaslow's head and surface area on his forehead is larger than we imagined because he's been hiding it for many years under a baseball cap. And now that it's been unveiled to point a finger at you and say that's how you play hockey, I love that as the face of South Florida sports telling Canada that...

This is what happens to your golden boy when you get chippy and make Chris rain down from the arena. They should take a look at that. 30%. Oh, man. Can we get that picture up again, man? I can't get enough of that picture. That picture is yelling at me, if you don't like it, you can leave. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. Right? That picture. That's America. It's saying America. Yes. And you said where my imagination takes me. I want to go where Zaz's imagination takes me. I feel like that imagination can take me around the world full time. I'm with you on this. Now that I look at this, that's how you play hockey. And it's also exactly how you react by sending 2,000 National Guardsmen to California in order to protest immigration stuff. That picture says love it or leave it, asshole. Yes.

Yes, this country should be whiter. That picture says you're getting these guns out of my cold, dead hands. That wins. That's going to be a champion right there. It might cost us democracy. Two more games.

That is something that if I were bringing it through central casting and telling people what's American arrogance right now, that's what it looks like. I would definitely cast him as the one yelling something from the crowd. You're in a show and someone yells something offensive from the back. That guy.

This is a long way from yesterday when Rose was the reaction that we were loving, which is Rose's face horrified from any angle and every angle because she was so scared 17 seconds from winning game two. Right.

That is, I mean, we can all agree, right? This is sheer terror. I was right there with her. And it wasn't but a few periods ago that that's what it all felt like. That's a shock telenovela face right there. That is something that sports does that nothing else does. You care so much that you go and say, from there I'm terrified and from Chris Cody's perch, they should take a look at that. That violence down there that's making tough men bleed, that's normal playoff hockey.

I've got a dirty secret to say. I know Rose. Okay, I know Rose very well. Yes, she's a big Panthers fan, but you know what she loves even more than the Panthers? Going home? Going home early. So what she saw there was not only, oh no, the Panthers, they tied it up against the Oilers, the Oilers tied it up against the Panthers. Oh no, I've got 20 minutes of an intermission. I've got another 20 minutes of overtime, and then when that overtime stopped, I got another 20 minutes of overtime, and then another 20 minutes, and then they've got to score.

Ended up being another two hours for poor Rose who just wants to go home. Because she only asked 11 times, when is this over? Okay. And that was on Saturday during the MMA hangout. And I told her, babe, you know exactly what it is. We got one o'clock in the morning. That's it. You're still using babe, huh? Yeah. That kind of thing. I am concerned about...

that you are accusing Rose of wanting game and not caring about the results and just wanting games to be over so that she can stop working and Stugatz's last engagement on hockey was him not wanting it to go double overtime because he wanted to go to sleep and

And I'm thinking this is not how Zaslow's experiencing any of this. I know it's not how Roy's experiencing it. But Zaslow, do you end up having trouble getting to sleep last night? Because I would imagine after game one, you would have a lot of... Game one was bad. No, but I would imagine after game one, you would not sleep very well. And then after game two, you wouldn't sleep very well either because you're wired. Well, I didn't go to sleep right away after game two. It's Friday night, so I didn't get loose. Yeah.

You know my style. Come on. Game one, I had a hard time falling asleep. Game two, let's keep the party rolling, guys. Then that one last night, you get to relax. Last night. Last night's one of those ones you just go home, digest all the post-game interviews. It's the top night of my life. Go ahead, Paul Maurice. Tell me how you liked four minutes in our second period. No matter how well we play, he's like, I really like three minutes in our second period. Oh, man.

I want to show Dominique, please, our good AI work on making Zaslo a narwhal, the most impressive of all of the creatures. Dominique has spoken very highly of the narwhal being ahead of the octopus. Was that 3D? Of the octopus, yes. Our crack staff got to work immediately. I asked them to make a narwhal, and they did some aluminum foil party hat in the center of the octopus.

Zaslow's forehead. I'm watching Muppets 3D right now. Were the rest of you, though, taken aback as I was by the surface area that Dominique noticed at the time that he noticed it on the Zaslow forehead? I believe that if you concentrate hard enough, you could tell us who's going to win this series. Just like I think Professor X. I think he got it. I think Cerebro over there. My Cerebro.

Just put both hands like this and go, touch the temples and squeeze. I think you could tell us who's going to win. So Chris Cody, you think it's normal, normal for Matthew Kachuk to be saying, we talked about it in the third. If you have to take a punch, take a punch. If you have to take a cross check, take a cross check, spear slash in the face, whatever the case is, you've got to take it. Yes. Like I,

if you listen to their post gate, like a lot of the players were saying what I'm saying right now, that I think it got chippy. They needed to realize that this is a long series. Let's not do anything. That's going to get us suspended. You have to defend your teammates. That's what that was. So I think that in that world,

maybe that's normal. It's normalized violence, yes. Right? But I think that what you're saying to us is as if we are in that world. We all recognize we're not in that world. And you are telling us, like, no, it's normal. And it went beyond. Like, I'm not saying last night wasn't more than I would have expected, but I just think...

A lot of what we saw last night is just when a team is broken down to one, they need to, oh, if we're going to come back in this series, we got to show them that we're in this too. So they're just going to get aggressive. And we broke them mentally. Yeah, but that's not what it felt like to me last night. Like, it didn't feel like the Oilers are saying, okay, we're going to show you we're still here. Like, to me, it felt like a team was melting down. That's true. It did. All right. There were a few times where I'm just like, we have broken things.

I'm not comfortable with how often you're saying that we broke them mentally. We know only one person gets to say that in here. There were 110 penalty minutes between the two teams in the final nine and a half minutes of the game. That's not normal, obviously. The more important thing I would say to you is it's the 13th playoff game in which McDavid and Dreisaitl

Neither one of them scores a point. And when that happens to the Oilers, they are 2-11. They are not a championship team. They are a bad team. If those two guys have the game they had last night, they lose 11 out of 13 times because that team relies. Roy's analysis, simplistic though it was before the series, is yes, they have the two best players and the Panthers have the best team.

The Panthers have four lines. The Panthers can get nothing from their first line in the first two games, and it doesn't even matter. It's an unusually deep team, and it flogs you, and you're supposed to get tired in the third. But through the first two games of this series...

Edmonton was in a position that made it feel to all of Edmonton that there was no reason to fear anything here. And now the fear is here. It must be here. If you're Edmonton, you've seen that this can be done to your wonder kid. Yeah, they definitely targeted Conor McDavid. They hit him five times, especially Aaron Eckblad. So they really put it to him. Love that. They listened to me. Remember I was saying, like, get in his way!

When he's going down. Cut him off. It wasn't getting him. It's cut him off. Someone hit him. Get your lines right. That's what it was. Not getting this way. Hit him. Stop him. Take a look at that. They listened.

Love that fear. Field him a plume. They're going to be great on Thursday, by the way. For sure, kind. Yeah, okay, just checking. The Oilers will be great on Thursday. Thursday will be scary. And if we win, obviously we're in a good spot. But this is not over. Like, Thursday is going to be Connor McDavid at his scariest. Of course it's not over. We've got that.

We know that. First I say we. Now I'm showing perspective. What do you want me to do here? Yes, the silence was everywhere. Silence.