Local Hour: Weakened Observations
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Stugatz, what are we going to do about the fact that your weekend observations again are on a Wednesday? We have not gotten to them the last couple of days. And very often we are doing your weekend observations closer to the next weekend than to the one yesterday.

We previously had. Are your weekend observations ready? They've been ready, yeah. They're ready to go today on a Wednesday. Hump Day, Dano! Okay, so can we, like, very early in the show, can we do your weekend observations? Sure. Because I don't know why it is that this keeps happening where your weekend observations are not on Monday.

I think I have a solution for this problem for you guys. So we're calling it weekend observations. And if you say it quick enough, you can say week in observations. And then these are still got this week in observations because they're in the week. And then they're right on time. Saved.

Weekend observations. Or just week. W-E-A-K. Or just week. Yeah, or just week observations or midweek observations. Weekends is good, too. Weekend observations? Okay. How do we change the imaging? We need to change the imaging. Bring my father in and change everything so he says weekend instead of weekend. Jess, you haven't seen this side of my father. Billy and Chris, when my father was – I don't think Tony's seen this side of my father either.

When my father was on Highly Questionable, he morphed in front of everyone's eyes into a total diva that didn't want to be corrected on, Gonzalo, we need you to say it weekend, not weekend. And he didn't understand, and he'd just get mad at everybody. I don't want to see that side of Poppy. I just want to see the Columbo-loving, happy, sweet man that I know. The Poppy that I know from when I started was, if there wasn't pizza on Fridays, he was very upset. Yeah.

Well, this is part of it. Is that the same timeline? Well, then get him pizza. I mean, geez. And then he had this weird Blaze pizza phase. He did, yeah. It wasn't a weird phase. My father was crushing LeBron James on air for seven years, and then LeBron sent him like 30 Blaze pizzas, and my father would just purchase at that point. He stopped criticizing him because of how delightful the pizza was.

Bobby was great with brand loyalty. Like, whatever sponsor there was for HQ, like, that's what he was going to use for whatever that product was. Yeah, but his takes meant nothing. Did you hear what Dan just said? He was bought with pizza. Yeah, I mean, okay. Mirror. Who among us? I mean, yes, that's right. It's like...

Just pointing it out. You can't rip my father too much for that. But, Billy, did you ever see Roy? Did you ever see Poppy's total diva side? Like, did you see how he became a television star right in front of you? Yes, I've gone through it. I ran lines with him.

Dino's not fair. He's a particular man. And he thought that he knew what was best in certain situations. And then did we have to, in the post-production process, have to combine words and take an E sound from this word and put it in an S sound here to make the word make sense? Yeah, maybe we had to do that from time to time. But who cares? It's Bobby. How it works, yeah. What is the most pissed any of you saw him?

I think throwing papers up in the air, like, ah, I got to do this again, buddy. Yeah. He just wanted to putter around the house. He was mad at me at the end for making him work. I mean, but who amongst us doesn't want to reach that point, right? I want to putter, too. God, I wish I could retire now. Already there?

All of you want to just putter around the house? I love a good putter. This is not the thing to be saying to somebody who's trying to run a company who needs you guys to not have that general attitude. This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

I need some help from the group here because I do not know if something that someone has written me is true. And my knowledge of the present Marlins is so bad that I don't know how to pronounce this person's name. But someone has written in that a Marlin named Christian Pache is...

made his Major League debut by striking out on a pitch clock violation. Oh, wow. Tell me that's true, please. Tell me that somebody's first Major League at-bat was ended because the person couldn't adhere to time restrictions. It is true.

It is absolutely true. That's the first time that that's happened, right? Like that has not happened to a major league player before where you're first at bat instead of an emotional celebratory time is instead an epic failure where you can't keep track of time because you're so nervous.

It's a tricky situation. You've got to be set with eight seconds left. Why do we still have eight seconds left if I'd be done with eight seconds left? It could happen to anyone. I mean, it's only happened to one person. It could happen to anyone. But how long has the pitch clock been? How long has that rule been in? Like two seasons. Two seasons. You're just learning of this? No, no, no, no. I'm saying, Dan's saying it's never happened to anyone before, but it's only been implemented for two years. Well, no. People have struck out with pitch clock violations before. I don't think anyone in their debut has done that. Okay.

Also, I've learned Larry Brown Sports is still a thing because they wrote an article about this. Good day for us. Congratulations. It was on a sack bunt attempt, so maybe he was nervous about having to lay down the sack bunt. I mean, the thing with bunts, you've got to put your hands in a very specific place. You don't want to get your fingers hurt.

It was his Marlins debut, right? Not his MLB debut. I don't know anything about this human being. I don't even know how to pronounce his name. I don't know. I believe it was just his Marlins debut. Okay. If it's his Major League debut and they say, hey, go up and lay down a sack bunt, I'm saying no. Like, hey, don't put me up there to lay down a sack bunt. It's my first bat in the Majors. I want to hit a dong. I mean... I think he's played like...

A couple hundred games in the majors. All right. So he was traded from the Phillies to the Orioles last week. And then the Orioles designated him for assignment after one at bat, it looks like. And then the Marlins claimed him off waivers. So it seems like in the history of baseball, no one has struck out with a pitch clock violation in their first at bat. Excellent. Other than that, though. Congratulations to the Marlins, setting records all over the place. Hey, they're not that bad.

They could be worse. Marlins 2024. Quote, they could be worse. Could be the White Sox. Well, I sent a note last night. Just last night I sent a note. Hey, the rest of this season, I want to be the international leader in covering whether or not the White Sox are the worst team ever.

Like, I want to see if they can break what I thought was an unbreakable record in our most historic sport, whether they could fail to win 40 games in a season. They're getting hot. They won last night against Oakland. They did. What? To end their 21-game losing streak.

Oh man. I feel like this is a glass houses situation though. Like we can't be the people to talk about if they're the worst team ever, because that'll just off all the fans that are then like, well, you're, you're Marlins fans. but no, but Jessica, not nobody's ever been this bad. Like we, we really are headed toward a special place with these white socks where they've been playing, you know, this is, this goes back to whatever, you know, the, the St. Louis spider webs or whatever of the 1800s. Like,

Nobody has ever been this bad. That wasn't a team name. No, but something like that. You know what I'm talking about. The crazy old-timey names where all the players were named Heine. And it was the late 1800s. And, you know, the pitchers would have 60 complete games in a season. I'm very late to the White Sox party. But I saw yesterday Ozzie Guillen, and I saw that it was the clip from like 2020, where he was just talking about how much he hated Nick Swisher.

like on the post-game show, pre-game show, whatever, I don't think the White Sox know what they have in Ozzie Guillen doing pre- and post-game work. Like, this seems incredible because most teams, if they're not having the best season, don't have their analysts just ripping the team and ripping former players, where he flat out just said, I hated Nick Swisher. And they're like, well, I didn't talk to him, I just hated him. And they're like, well, he was only on the team for one season. He's like, one season too long.

Hated Nick Swisher. There are two things that I would say about Ozzie Guillen, just having seen the entirety of his playing career and his managing career. And the second most interesting thing I would say is I can't believe he's a champion. The first is I can't believe he was a manager.

The idea that they're putting him on the broadcast, given that he's always been that, he's always talked that way. In terms of Marlins debuts, Christian Pesce's is only better than Ozzie Guillen's, which included becoming the Marlins manager and immediately praising Fidel Castro. Ha ha ha!

In Little Havana? That's right. Was that a press conference thing? No, it was a Time Magazine interview. It was a Time Magazine interview introducing him to the local fan base. Here's our new shiny new managerial hire, a champion, Ozzie Guillen. What's the one thing you can't say? I kind of liked some of the things that Fidel Castro did. Well, no, I think...

for some context, I think what he said is he respected the fact that Castro hadn't been assassinated after being a dictator for 60 years. Keeping power. He's like, I respect the fact that he's still alive. And it's like, I have to read the quote right here. So not praise or respect thing. Still, read the room. I have this from his Wikipedia page.

I love Fidel Castro. I respect Fidel Castro. You know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last 53 years, but that mofo is still here. Yeah, the context got lost. No one heard anything after, I love Fidel Castro. You can't start with that. Bad, bad opening line.

I respect Fidel Castro as a bad second line. No one heard it. Well, it's not just that no one heard it. He was speaking to a bunch of people who are in their second language. Understand, I love Fidel Castro and nothing else that he said. So that's all they got. And that's how he opened his career. St. Louis's original baseball team was called the Brown Stockings.

Just letting you know. There were spiders. Cleveland spiders, and I made it the spider webs. Spider what? I was doing something. The spidey webs, actually. The spidey webs is what I made them. Leaving a web. Go ahead and find me any information you want on late 1800 team names that you find funny, player names, player stats, and the White Sox are worse than any of them.

Because we're really headed toward a historic place, and I'd like our show to celebrate this incompetence in a way that is worthy. I don't want to celebrate the good teams. I want to celebrate one that is – there's only one team in baseball that's looking to do something that's never been done before.

And not being able to win 40 games in a major league season, Stugatz, I'm not kidding you when I tell you, I do believe a AAA team can win 40 major league baseball games. A team that is legitimately not a major league team, just a AAA team. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Can a AAA baseball team win 40 major league games? The Orioles had like a crazy, I think, AAA or AA team to start the season. And they were all hitting their OPS was like all like

1,200. They're all hitting like 400. And they called all of them up. They're all major leaguers just playing in AAA. That's why I keep telling Stugatz that team's going to be good for 10 years. Stugatz, important question. Did the White Sox make it into weekend observations and is it now rendered useless because they've won a game? Perhaps.

Yes, actually. I just checked them out. Do you not remember your White Sox observations? I mean, I... It's just Taylor writing all of them. I did it on Saturday. I mean, Taylor doesn't write all of them. I mean, I wish he would write all of them. He doesn't write all of them. He writes some of them. Hmm. Yes. There's the Gastonia Honey Hunters. Ooh. Hmm. There's a National League team called the Chicago Orphans. Aw. Hmm. Hmm.

Jessica is into the most recent Hard Knocks that came on because it's about their bears. And I learned that, A, most of our show is still behind on the Giants. And Billy Gil's still got two Dolphin Hard Knock episodes to get to. What? I'm waiting to see how last season ended still. Really? Yeah.

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Official sleep and wellness partner of the NFL. See store for details. Don Levitard. Let's go to 80. His name is Bo. Wow. I think Billy typed an 8 instead of a B. Fine. It's a clear as day. $2. Stugatz. Number 8. It's Chris Corder on the line. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.

Are you ready to do weekend observations, Stugatz? Weekend observations. I am ready, Dano. All right. Are you ready, Billy Gill? Very late, way too late. White socks. Here are the weekend observations. That is good. That is the way to do it. If we're going to not do it on Monday, they should be called the weekend observations.

It is time for Stu Gatz to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy Stu. Weekend Observations brought to you by Miller Lite. Great taste. Just 96 calories available for delivery.

Then, it had been over 20 years since an American could claim this title. When in 2004, Justin Gatlin sprinted his way to gold. Then, came Usain Bolt's reign for three straight Olympic cycles. In 2020, an Italian even claimed it for the first time ever.

But this year, in Paris, after a photo finish, it was Noah Lyles standing atop the podium. And Dan, just like that, make no mistake about it, America's claim for the fastest man in the world is back. It's been a while, man. 2004. Feels good, right?

Usain Bolt kind of hogged everything for a while. Yes, we had forgotten. That run is over. It is. Then the Italian guy came in and now we're back. Yes, we are back. Yeah. And he's promising gold in the 200 as well. Lyles won it by one two hundredth of a second. Track and field. Game of inches. U.S. men's soccer. The gift that keeps on giving and losing.

John Mayer playing the sphere with a broken index finger. Hockey player. Did you see that? I did not. His index finger. The most important finger for a guitarist.

How about that? Put it on the poll. Still played. At Levitar Show, is index finger the most important finger for a guitarist? And also, Stugatz, I would just recommend to everybody in our audience, go listen to John Mayer with Conan O'Brien. It was super interesting. The dead, dead and company, what are they called now? Dead and company? Dead and company, yeah. That seems like everybody's just on drugs in the audience, right? For the most part. Confirmed, yeah. All right, so that seems like the easiest one to fake.

What are you saying? I'm just, if anyone is not actually playing, it seems like that's the prime spot to do that.

Are you saying that John Mayer wasn't playing the guitar? I didn't say that. I'm just saying. If anyone, if there was ever an opportunity to get one by a crowd, that seems like the crowd to get one by. That's the crowd to get one by. You're right. Just lay down tracks. Put it on the poll at Leviton Show, Juju. Easier crowd to fool that you're playing fake music. Grateful Dead crowd or what is the electronic music? Is it called EDM? Yes. Yes.

Which one? Which one is it? Is it Grateful Dead or is it the stuff that Mike Ryan's listening to all the time? Well, they just push play and then they just jump on it. Then they take off their crazy heads. Everybody has a crazy head. I guess they're all ugly or something. I don't know. Drugs? A lot of drugs. Yeah. America leads the total medal count by over 25. You know what everyone else is doing, Dano?

Losing? Playing for second place. By the way, America, how about you weave in a few more golds? I don't like the medal count. I don't care about the silvers. I don't care about the bronzes. Who is leading in gold medals? That's all I care about. It's not us. I don't think it's us. I believe it is us now. When I wrote that over the weekend, they were not leading in gold medals. Weekend observations.

Skip Bayless retired. Fox Sports wants Nick Wright to be the face of the network. The rare face of the network that has a face for radio. Love you, Nick. What happened? Jon Rahm was up four shots with eight holes to go.

and didn't even medal. Total collapse. All-time choke job. Hasn't been the same since he joined Liv. I told you that, Dan. I told you a while ago that Jon Rahm is struggling with his decision to sign up with Liv. He cannot look anyone in the eye. I'm serious. He can't. He hasn't been the same golfer. You think it's because of that? Yes.

I think live is for guys who don't care that much about golf, only care about the majors like Brooks Koepka. That's fine. And for guys who are well past their prime, they're not for a guy who won the Masters in the U.S. Open. I mean, they're not. He told you this a long time ago. I did. Thank you. By the way, the United States lead by two in gold medals over China. All right. I stand corrected. Jessica, when you say he told you this a long time ago, no one was out in front on Elon Musk.

more than Stugatz. Stugatz was the first person who arrived with public criticism of Elon Musk as a phoning. Thank you, Stu. Thank you, Stu. Thank you, Stu. You're welcome. I was just trying to imitate his slur. You call everyone a fraud, though. Eventually, you'll be right. Oh.

Scotty Scheffler didn't win. Jon Rahm lost. Scotty Scheffler, the first golfer ever to win a gold medal, a green jacket, and an orange jumpsuit in the same year. It's never been done before. Imagine.

Going from unlawful imprisonment to winning gold for your country. Scotty Scheffler, the American dream. They should put him on a Wheaties box. Jeff Darlington, what could have been. Novak Djokovic has now won everything there is to win in tennis. The D in Djokovic stands for debate over.

You just brought something up here that I... Does Wheaties still do that? Like, is Wheaties going to take an Olympian, one American Olympian, and put them on the box? Is that something that they still do? It should be Scotty in the jumpsuit. I mean... Can you guys find out for me? I haven't seen a Wheatie box in years. I think they went to just online now. Oh, boy.

Are you asking the last time Wheaties put an athlete on a box? I'm asking if it's a still. You just mentioned something, and I'm wondering if your weekend observation is not only dated from this weekend, but is 10 years dated because Wheaties no longer does that. I've got a very, very exciting update for the Wheaties box. I went on to Amazon. The most current Wheaties box you could buy has J.J. Watt on it. Oh, Jesus. Let's get it for some guys. Little J.J. T.J. Watt double. Why? But this is both running. But why? I don't know.

I'm on the Wheaties website. They have Billie Jean King with an autograph on it right now. It's on the website currently. From like 1970? No. That's some old cereal. That cereal is going to poison you if it's 50 years old. You said they went online. I mean. Find out for me if Wheaties is going to put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Is Wheaties going to put an Olympic athlete on the box? I found an article, but it's behind a paywall. Oh. Uh-oh.

It should be Scheffler in the orange jumpsuit, though, right? It's a good idea. I mean, the colors don't match up because the Wheaties box is orange. You have an orange jumpsuit. It might be tough to decipher Scheffler in the box. You know what I'm saying? Where does Scheffler stop in the box start? I mean. I feel like you're ripe for kind of like making fun of it, right? Where you just kind of like draw his face and then you drew like a collar. And then it's like implied like this is it. You're like, oh, they just drew his head. It's like, no, that's the jumpsuit. Wheaties is tricking you. Trinity Robbman.

Holy shit. Updated list of top five most important goals in U.S. soccer history. Number five, the shot heard around the world. Which one was that? You're not familiar with that shot? Is that Landon Donovan? No, it's the shot that got the U.S. into their first World Cup. I mean, geez, know your soccer, man. I thought you meant Lexington and Concord. What year was it?

I don't know. Okay, you're criticizing me for not knowing. Can you give us any more information on your number five? There was a goal, Dan, and I don't know who scored it. I don't know what year he scored the goal, but it was the goal called the shot heard around the world because it got the U.S. to their first World Cup. That goal. This is one of the ones you wrote, I'm assuming. Mm-hmm. Number four. Landon Donovan. Landon Donovan.

2011 World Cup, unfortunately. 2010, excuse me. Number three, Christian Pulisic's penis. Header. Number two, Rodman. Number one, Brandi Chastain. Took her shirt off. Here come the White Sox.

Wait a minute. When you wrote this from the weekend. It was Marlins. They had one-two straight. I was doing some math, and the White Sox are 12 games behind the other worst team in the MLB, the Miami Marlins. But the worst team ever is the 1962 Mets? The worst team ever. What the White Sox are chasing is 42 wins, I think, is the lowest number in the history of the sport. Death, taxes, and Mike Trout.

Out for the season. Trouty. Team USA's three-on-three men's team won't medal and was eliminated after losing 21-6 to the Netherlands. What an embarrassment. The Dutch. We can't lose to the Dutch in basketball. In any form. One-on-one, two-on-two, three-on-three, five-on-five. You can't lose to the Dutch. They lost 21-6. I know. Can't do it. Embarrassment. I have a confession. I don't know.

When any Olympic events are on. Sorry about that. And where to find them. Is there a calendar?

I've been too afraid to ask. It's got the internet. I feel like I'm watching things live. I'm not watching them live. They've already been played out. I watched the 200-meter hurdles last night. My daughter told me who won before the race started. It's a disaster. Oh, my God. You're my grandfather. I've told you the story of tricking my 80-year-old grandfather with a World Series classic game by telling him before the pitch was thrown, I think Jim Leyritz is going to hit a home run here. You're my grandfather. I know.

You're not helping. I mean, that's crazy, Stugatz. Everybody's watching the Olympics. All you have to do is... It's a confession. I mean, it wasn't hard. I feel better now. I think Peacock's been great for the Olympics. So NBC has the rights to the Olympics. Peacock's their streaming partner. But you can watch any event that you want at any time.

point in time on Peacock. Like, it's just there. You just have to search for it. You can watch it. So if you miss an event, you can watch it in its entirety just by clicking the thing. Have you guys heard a single complaint about the Peacock coverage? Anything? Like, usually nothing. This is not on Peacock, by the way. It's on me. I'm getting old. And my daughter. The way that things are consumed in this country, nothing gets universal applause. Everything comes with criticism. What's the biggest criticism you've heard of the Olympic coverage?

Too much Chad Collinsworth for me. Was it Jack? Chaz Collinsworth? I think I called him Chad. That should be his name. I would imagine that Chris Collinsworth would name his son Chaz. Is it Jack? Yeah, with no K, by the way. Couple of Cs, cutting it up. Congratulations to my friend Dwight Freeney.

for his induction into Pro Football's Hall of Fame. I've said it before and I'll say it again. He should have gotten in on the first ballot. You know what the F in Freeney stands for, Dan? First ballot. First ballot Hall of Famer. You nailed it. Devin Hester. I love you. But if Josh Cribs gets inducted into Pro Football's Hall of Fame, I'll stop caring about the Hall of Fame. You know what the C in Cribs stands for? Not Canton.

Julius Peppers, inducted into Pro Football's Hall of Fame. Pep. Taylor. Julius Peppers gave Michael Jordan credit in his Hall of Fame speech. That's how you do a speech. Taylor. Top five athletes that connote something you might find in your nachos. But that's number five. All right, let's see. This should be good. Chip Kelly. Chip Kelly.

Strong start. Number four, Julius Peppers. Number three, Billy Bean.

You're shaking your head because peppers, jalapeno, jalapeno peppers, right? No, you're shaking your head. Why are you shaking your head? I'm shaking my head because a Billy Bean passed away yesterday. And Mad Dog was confused about which Billy Bean. And he did a whole eulogy for A's Billy Bean. And then he found out it was not A's Billy Bean. It happens. I wrote this, though, on Saturday. Billy Bean was still alive. Well, the other Billy Bean says. Respect. Cross it out. Yeah.

Number two, Corn Elder. Need a mic for that. Doing like a Santa Fe kind of nacho. Corn? Corn, yes. Oh, I get in the tortilla chips. Corn Elder. In the chips. Well, I was picturing corn in my nachos, but okay, fair enough. Number one, Chili Davis. Good list. Thank you. I mean, corn. I'm sorry. It's okay. You would think nachos would be my specialty.

To anybody complaining about the new kickoff rules, shut up. You're not going to like the onside rules. You can't do it if you're winning. You've got to announce that you're doing the onside kick. You can only do it in the fourth quarter. You're not going to like those. The Braves have a guy named Nacho Alvarez Jr. Oh, man. I missed. It's a big whiff by me. You don't put nachos in your nachos. Good point. Thank you. I do.

Nachos on top of nachos? I put nachos in my nachos, yes. Now, I wrote this over the weekend again. The White Sox have lost 20 straight games. The last time the White Sox won a game, Dan was still in Africa. Skipping the White Sox stuff is an option, Stu Gatz. It's available to you if you're quick on your feet, if you're light on your feet. Right. I understand.

Random baseball thoughts from the golf course. How many more pages do you have there? On a gummy. We've got two segments that we've got to get to. This can't go much longer than this. Random baseball thoughts from the golf course on a gummy. Every team in the early 2000s thought they were an Octavio Dottel away from competing. Do you agree? I do. Jesse Orozco pitched in 1979 and 2003. You know what that's called, Dano?

Across decades. Wait, what? 1979 to 2003? It's amazing, yeah. Damn. Yeah, I had to look it up. Someone said it to me on the golf course. I was in a gummy. I didn't believe him. I looked it up. It's true. Anyway, Michael Jordan should try baseball again. He'd make this White Sox team. Put this on the poll. If you make a trade with the Marlins, do you automatically win the trade? Watching SportsCenter over the weekend with Zubin Mahenty...

and was thinking to myself, Zubin, Jay Williams, Keyshawn Johnson. Strange pairing. That is right where ESPN gave up on radio. Right there. That show? That right there. Not us? No. We may be the reason they gave up on it. None of this is worth it. We got a big empire over here. No one's listening to radio anymore. Why are we paying anybody? Matt Carpenter. Still playing. Still a Cardinal. Amazing.

Carp. The most prepared I've ever been for an interview was last week when I thought the 1980 NL MVP Mike Schmidt was coming on. Can we book George Brett next week? When Otani makes contact with a baseball, it looks like it's going to the moon. Home runs should count for more if they go a certain distance. Track it as a stat.

Moonshots. I like that. Yeah. I like that as a rule of change. It's a good idea. It is a good idea. You're always in the game. If you hit it a certain distance, it counts as five runs. I don't think it... Carried away? That's the way I would do it. But there is a way to do it. We ran out of music on the bed. Yeah, it was only 17 minutes long. Circling back to golf.

One thing that got lost from the final round, with Scheffler shooting a 62, was the up-and-down Tommy Fleetwood needed to secure a silver medal. 34 yards out, across the green, hell of an up-and-down. Speaking of hell, Art Bryles. Dan, those are the weekend observations. George Brett of the Wall Street Journal next.

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The Smell Not Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age. Don Levitard. We love you. We've got you. We've all got each other. Let's go right now. Stugatz. One, two, three, Brett. One, two, three, Brett. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz. Stugatz.

This is very exciting, Stugatz, because we're going out to Paris right now and we are throwing some sugar on the David Sampson segment. Ellis Dawson is the candy man. He has gone viral at the Olympics for being the only person on international television other than David Sampson to carry around a gigantic Ziploc

He's the director of national team operations for Team USA Basketball. He's been with the program for 20 years. He handles player personnel and basketball operations, but all he does is give candy to players. That's the only thing we know him as, and we have no other interest in asking him about anything other than his candy budget.

because David Sampson, this is a hero of yours, correct? This is somebody you're looking at this. You can't believe that we've got Ellis Dawson from Paris joining us right now. The candy man. This is your number one booking of all time, Ellis. I just want to say that you are my inspiration. What you do for your players is something that I dreamt of doing for my players. And they would just make fun of me because I carry around bags of candy and

we are brothers from another mother. Yeah.

Yeah, well, thanks for having me. I'm really excited to do this. I never expected to be at this level of, I don't know, internet sensation, if you want to call it that. It's exciting to be part of something bigger than me. I just didn't think it was going to be as big as this candy thing. Well, tell me more about how it is, what your budget is, how it came to be. What's the backstory on you giving American athletes so much sugar?

Well, I think it's something that just kind of every team I've been with, like I said, I've been there for 20 years. So this is my fifth Olympics. My first Olympics was in Beijing in 2008. And I've been with the men's program. I've been with the women's program and do a lot of things with junior teams. And the common theme I feel like is always like,

What kind of candy do you have at the bench or at the scores table at practice? And, you know, it's kind of, it evolves over time. I know like a couple of our coaches like certain kinds of candy and like mints and different types of things like that. But it just kind of evolved into, you know, Jerry Colangelo, who used to run the men's program, would always have this certain kind of bubble gum they always had. And it's just something that to me, it was more of a,

a little bit of a home feel because most of the time our teams go overseas and the first thing they look for is what's American that's there? What can I get? That kind of gives them a little bit of a feel from home. What's your most requested candy? You know, it's more like some of the mints, I think. Mints are a big deal. I thought chewing gum would be the biggest type, but for some reason, I feel like it's something that you just don't want to chew gum on.

I think it's just something that's, you know, what do you do with it when you want to spit it out? I think that's a big thing. So we've had some caramel type meals and different types of things, or meals, types of candies that kind of make it happen. David? I assume you fly charter with the team, but I must tell you that I get stopped every

Every time with my bag through security because I've got bags of candy. And what they do is they look and they see all the good and plenty and all the black jelly beans and cinnamon jelly beans and Skittles. And they rifle through it, not, thank God, inside the bag, but they touch it over the bag. And it makes me insane. Have you had any issues flying with all of the bags of candy you need for all of your work?

And before you answer that, Ellis, just put it on the poll, Juju. Should you immediately be profiled and arrested if you go through airport security with black jelly beans at Levitard Show? What were you saying, Ellis? You know, we do it like a lot of our national teams are a little bit more charter. Our junior teams do not charter. So we go commercial charter.

Um, everywhere. I think we had a team that, uh, U 17 team that went to Turkey on the men's side and went on the team that went to Mexico. And I think we just kind of have a, like a, you know, what you want to call a manager bag full of different types of, uh, candies and different types of things. And obviously you have your, your markers and your whiteboards and all your different types of items. Uh, when it comes to a team like this, you know, I just had a bunch of our support staff when we were in Las Vegas, uh,

"Hey, I need you to go and I need you to go grab these different bags of candy and make it individually wrapped and we're going to take it with us and we're going to bring it with us and we're going to keep it with us." And the level has dwindled a little bit, but I've had a few people come from the States and said, "Hey, I need this kind of candy. I need that kind." And just bring it and they'll have it available for these players.

It's kind of exciting to be part of that and see what we have. Stugatz, I'm kind of stunned that mints are the most popular. If I were to ask the shipping container, what would you imagine should be the most popular candy? Would we have a consensus on that in the other room? Because mints, I wouldn't even be in my top five. Yeah, it's obviously Reese's Pizza. It's gummy Reese's. It's gummy Reese's. It's gummy work. It's gummy beer. It's gummy beer.

Dots What do dots in a clubhouse what not do dots why not allowed because you could then need a dentist I

What? Dots can remove like your filling and it can get stuck. Only in a clubhouse? Wait a minute. Ellis looked at him like he was crazy. And I think Ellis is more of a candy authority than David is. Ellis, you're looking at him and you're saying, what are you talking about? I'm the Dots king. I got dots. I'm not taking out any fillings of Olympians.

No, it hasn't gotten a concern yet. I should probably not put that in the atmosphere, but you never know. I would say that probably a chocolate type thing wouldn't be something we'd have on the bench as much, but you wouldn't be surprised that our coaches do the cough drops a lot and the mints. So I think that's kind of a popular thing. And sometimes it's usually just

On the bench, I think more of our coaches go for the candies and different types because it's just something that they're always...

you know, yelling instructions or, you know, whatever. So it's maybe a little different. And then, you know, in the locker room, it's a little bit more of the players take what they need and, you know, get a little bit of a hit of sugar. And, you know, it's fun. It's also your job to clean up after them with all the little wrappers that are all around. And that's kind of a pet peeve of mine. I like to keep the area kind of, you know, as well as clean as possible to make it

you know, just make sure we're spotless. Ellis, how much wiggle room do you have to get cute? You know what I mean? Like if they want Kit Kats, but you want to go and you want to sneak in some of like the Japanese varieties of Kit Kats with different flavors, do you ever do any of that or no?

I don't. I stay true to what we bought unless someone says, hey, you know, I'd like to get something a little bit different. You know, maybe a butterscotch here and there or caramel, but most of it's just not. I stay with the tried and true until someone tells me. Who likes Werther's original on the team? Pop. Dawn Staley. Really? She was the original...

um deeper of that so and then and then Grant Hill loves it uh some of our uh senior staff like our USA staff likes the likes those as well so it's kind of a it's kind of a older hit I guess Alice you do red vines or do you do lick or Twizzlers neither hmm what

No, it's just not an option for me. It's just easier to grab. It's a little bit grab and go. The individually wrapped items are a little bit easier to, to, to handle. What's the oddest candy request you've ever received? Um, I don't know if there's been one. I don't know if I give lots of options. I feel like what they take, what they get, um,

I stick with the Mints and the fruity kind of Jolly Rancher type or even Sour Patch Kid or something like that. But I don't really have too many off the wall. I'd have to think it'd probably be more of a junior team where somebody who's

Kind of used to sour type of something and you don't have it. You try and find it. But most of the time it's it's available and it's not as popular. I feel like it got a lot popular, you know, a week ago because of what the you know, what was seen on TV. And then, you know, I jump on a different, you know, interview shows and, you know, it's just a little different for me. So what is your budget now?

Well, it's all kind of inclusive, but I feel like I have a good budget, but I also kind of know that I don't want to go home with a bunch of candy either. So my goal is when I leave Paris on Monday, I believe, is I don't want

I don't want to have any of that candy. I want to just leave it and just start fresh with a different team. We've got an October mini camp that's coming up with a bunch of junior athletes, and then we have a qualifier for another event in November. So it jumps right into, you know, we have about six weeks before we jump into a new event. I'm going to try again. What is your budget?

It's endless. It's endless. An endless budget. All right. Excellent. It's one of the sweetest budgets I could find. Okay. What is the weight of what it is that you're carrying around? If you had to put it in pounds? When we started, I think it was probably over 30 pounds, maybe. Love it. So we all put it in one giant bag and I just refill it every game. So it's just a refill of everything that's there. And

and then we kind of go to uh looks like i lost some of my lights um but uh yeah i think it's we just kind of replenished and the the the box is probably now down to maybe 12 15 pounds or something you pay attention to using the zipper ziploc versus the one that you press

closed because with candy, the zipper is the way to go because you can guarantee the air comes out and the candy stays fresh. The one that's the press and close sometimes can sneak open. Have you found that? Yeah. And also like when I, I don't know if you saw in the video, I carry a, like it's, I don't know, rubber made or something. And it's like, it's got a little, um, like a little button at the top where you actually press the button so you can like

press the air out of it. He's got the finest of technology. This man's a veteran. He's learned how to do this. Did I hear you correctly, though? Did you say no chocolate? You said no chocolate? I don't do chocolate. No one's fully requested it either. All right. Ellis, I'm

Personally, I do chocolate. No, but Ellis, I'm going to have to ask you to leave, okay? Whoa, whoa, that's harsh. No, but I thought I was dealing with somebody who was the truth, okay? And you can't be the truth if you're somebody who doesn't do chocolate in your candy. Like, so I'm going to... He does chocolate. No, but... Personally, he said he does chocolate. No, but he's not giving away...

way, Chocolate. I'm going to have to ask him to leave. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've desecrated you at the end of what was an excellent interview. I have shamed him, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave because you've offended me. We never found out what Spoh likes. Oh, yeah. What does Spoh like? Oh, now you want him back. Oh, gosh.

He goes for the mints. He did those high chews, the fruit chew things. But, yeah, it's just kind of, like I said, it's a hit or miss. It's also like your mood kind of determines what you want to do. So today you might be this candy, you might be that candy, you might be no candies. You might do cough drops. So it's just...

Like I said, it's more of an opportunity to kind of bring some home to the field or to our play and give it an opportunity to

to enjoy some little piece of home, even if it's a small piece of candy. But what part of your job is setting the mood? Like if we win the silver medal, how much of it do we blame on you for not having the right candy and not having chocolate and not putting people in the right frame of mind? I'm not sure I want to answer that question. We have a really big game against Serbia tomorrow, which I'm excited for. A women's team played tonight against Nigeria in the quarterfinals. So,

I'm excited for all of our teams and I think it's, you know, the Olympics are a great opportunity to, you know, get some international basketball and see, you know, NBA or WNBA people in a different uniform. And the camaraderie and the brotherhood of what it is is great too. But you also want to go out and win the gold medal. And that's, you know, our goal is to do that. And I'm excited to be part of that and whatever I can do to help that is my biggest step. David, do you have a top five list for Ellis?

I do. I have to give you a top five list before you go. What is it? And you'll allow him to stay. I'm loving this. Just being around you, being in the presence of candy greatness makes me happy, but I'm going to do a top five candies needed. If you're going to be the candy guy. Hmm. First, we start with an OLI. You have to have ice cream. When,

When the players are doing Red Bull, they're doing espresso. They may be doing some greenies. You have to have ice cream in the clubhouse. It helps them calm down. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's not a candy. That's

Hi-Chew. You just mentioned it and it made me smile. Hi-Chew is a critical candy. You get the variety pack, which has the different flavors, which no one can tell the difference of, and you have to rip it open on one side only, and then you have to be careful of the wrappers because they can stick to your hand. But number five, Hi-Chew. Gesundheit. Number four. Critical. Mike and Ike's, but sour.

Mike and Ike Sowers are incredibly popular for players, incredibly popular for staff. You can put them in jars, you can get them individually packaged, or you can get the big multi-pound bag. Love that. Love those. God, I love those. Number three.

Kit Kats. Yeah. Players love Kit Kats. Your whole thing against chocolate is staggering to me. And you don't get the double Kit Kats. You get the single Kit Kats. You know, the big ones come with four and you can rip them. The ones that you talk about, it should be only the one.

One at a time. David, how do you feel about the Kit Kat Big Cat, the big, massive bar of Kit Kats? You can't do it. It's too much and it gets sticky in the fingers. The one you can rip, you can take the wrapper off, keep it on the bottom of the single bar and then eat the

bar in either one bite releasing the wrapper at the end or in two bites and then the wrapper's done and no mess no fuss how did you feel about Giancarlo Stanton eating the Kit Kat like a monster when he was on your team where he would just bite into the four bars at the same time

They would do contests. So that was a little different. What you have in the clubhouse. I'm trying to talk about what it is to be the candy guy, but Stanton can do some stuff with his mouth. Number two. Spam, please. Eminem's plane.

And again, not the multi-pound bag. You get the individual bags that have between 7 and 12 M&Ms in because that is the top rip and then the pour and you get them all in one bite. You don't want the position where the players are putting their fingers in the bag to get more M&Ms out. So it's one full bag.

Roll and that's the small little like we'll see him at Halloween. I mean of all the Plain M&Ms, that's ridiculous. Number one. One good candy in his top five and he had ice cream. Mike and Ike's ice cream. Unbelievable. Number one.

Seeds. Oh, you got it. Oh, that's not candy. Terrible list. Spoken like a guy with no taste. Are you a bird? Terrible list, man. Terrible list. Ellis, what do you think of his terrible list? He thinks it's awful. Don't answer, Ellis. I mean...

Well, yeah, you're going to throw Sour Pass Kids in there. Those seem to be pretty good. Yeah. Give him the fanfare, Philly. I just don't like opening a bag of M&M's and there's only like four M&M's in it. Ellis, thank you for being on with us. We appreciate your time, sir.

Yeah, thank you very much. Looking forward to working, hopefully getting home with a couple of gold medals and then moving again to our next events and just having more candy for more athletes and hopefully our coaches and everyone. People do call you the Candyman, right? I saw that in our graphic we called you the Candy Guy. People call you Candyman, right? Not Candy Guy.

Yeah, I've been called Candyman. I actually went to the Nike house today and someone said, hey, I saw you on TV. You're the Candyman. I was like, okay, let's go with it. What percentage of the players on the team don't know your actual name and only know you as the Candyman?

Fortunately, they know me by name. I've definitely earned that. Thank you, Ellis. We appreciate it. Again, we should tell people he's the director of national teams operations for Team USA Basketball. So he does have another identity beyond this. But this is the one that made him famous. Thank you, Ellis. Yeah. Thank you, Ellis. So David Sampson, before we get out of here on a segment that has been eaten up by candy. I want to hear more about Stanton's mouth. Yeah.

Incredible things that he could do with it. Nothing, huh? That's a real picture. David, what did you make of yesterday's news that Pitbull is naming, putting his name on FIU Stadium? Boy, oh boy, that's quite a deal, isn't it? He's paying $1.25 million per year for five years. He is getting naming rights to a stadium and a bunch of other areas at FIU, except it's also really an endorsement deal because that number is way too low.

And so the endorsement side is he's got to do a bunch of social media posts. He's got to go meet donors and he's got to maybe write an anthem for FIU. It's an interesting marriage between a school that obviously wants to get more international and national attention as being the number one public school in Miami, which it is, and Pitbull giving back a hugely charitable guy, which he is a big philanthrop. But this deal, it's a bizarre way of

to feed an ego while being a person who is so interested in helping kids with charter schools and helping underprivileged people. So I just found the business deal fascinating. I went into pretty good detail about it on today's Nothing Personal. That's already out. But I'll say that it's a match made in heaven for Miami. I just don't think it's a long-lasting match because you can get more than $1.25 million for naming rights, and they will eventually.

What's the movie that you're reviewing for us this week? And I will remind people that when he mentions Nothing Personal and some of the things that he goes into deeper depths on, Nothing Personal is a podcast that should be part of your daily rotation. If you want to get very quickly informed on a variety of subject matter, what's the movie you're reviewing for us this week?

We're reviewing Cirque du Soleil. It's a documentary that came out on Amazon, and it's called Without a Net. And it is about how they got Cirque du Soleil back after COVID. For those not familiar, it's a Montreal-based company. They have shows all over the world. And it's like the circus, but really unique trapeze-style shows. And COVID shut it down. And this show, O, is in the Bellagio. And they let cameras in afterwards.

as the show was closing and then throughout the 400 days it was closed and then what it is for these people to come back and do these performances without the ability to really train during covid it was fascinating what these individuals had to do it's a quick documentary about 90 minutes well worth your time as is going to see Cirque du Soleil

Dave, I saw that and I couldn't believe one of the facts in that documentary, which that that, oh, is the most profitable daily entertainment thing in the world.

If you go to Bellagio, you will know exactly why. Seven days a week, it is packed out always. And what they do during that show, they use water. It's the first show ever. It's basically a pool and people are diving in and out of water in ways that you cannot believe. And this documentary goes behind the scenes showing some of that. And I really did enjoy it. And I think you would, too. Thank you, Samson. Thank you.

Summer's the best time to run the way you want. Dial it up with new challenges and programs and bring your workouts with you to make the most of outside sunny days. Stugatz, guess what? What? You know what you can do with Peloton? What? Get the app, go outside, ride a bike. Well, I thought you ride Peloton inside. Well, you do, you can ride Peloton inside if it's a rainy day or if it's cloudy or you just don't want to get outside, maybe it's too hot.

summertime, go outside. I record a lot from my office with you and you've noticed it's sitting there yet. It hasn't been used. Well, now's the time. Summer's the best time to start that push. Right. Can we do it together? Not on the same bike, but we could join a class together. I used to do that. We used to have Guillermo Tan. I'd invite people. We'd all take a class together. Okay. So I think you're starting to get concerned about my health and my age, Billy. I,

I sense that with you. We're beyond starting. Okay. Whatever road lies ahead, your training starts here with Peloton Tread and Tread Plus. It's not just a bike, a treadmill too. I'm going to go outside. I'm going to get in shape. I'm going to do it with Billy Gill. I want to be in your class. I want you to be my instructor. You know what? I won't be your instructor. You don't want to spend more time with me. No, I can schedule a class and we can ride together. I won't be the instructor of the class. We can have Camila could be our instructor. I like the Grateful Dead class. My daughter, she uses the Peloton. Mm-hmm.

She was on it once and an instructor who was playing Grateful Dead tunes. Let's do that. Okay. Why don't we go for a run outside? Guided run. Peloton. Me and you. That's something we can do together. Okay. Turn on the app. Me and you go outside. Enjoy the summer. Call yourself a runner with Peloton at onepeloton.com slash running. All right.

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