Mystery Crate: Episode Two Hundred - Ninety
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I was surprised that you thought that, but now that I hear it back a few times, I can see where you think. Especially going in the back. The first couple of times we played it, I thought it was ripped from the movie. That's a great impression if you fool yourself. Do you have a side-by-side of that? He had dropped it in a

Slack channel or something and I was like, okay I'm gonna throw it on Tony shows I knew he's gonna be here and then he looks so excited to hear it But I thought you were excited cuz you're just hearing yourself. Yeah, I can understand why you would think that and then later you're like, oh wait That's me and I'm like, yeah, bro. This is you like put the town on alert and that it was now that's an actor Look at that performance so good that I myself fooled yourself from it. I

And I get to sit back and enjoy it as if it were foreign to me. But now we have to do the test of like, we got to show people...

See, like, listening to the original cut. It is eerily similar. Like, I can see how you... It's a limited fake because if you, like... You can't expand on it. It's going to blow. It's tougher to make it good. But just that one part because if you watch Dante's Peak, and I hope to one day do this Cinephobe episode, he really hammers this point home. Like, look.

After this whole thing happens, someone's going to be asked why this town wasn't going to be put on alert. But he has so many different cadences of it, too. He rocks around. He's like, John, I'm telling you, you have to put this town on alert. Alert. Alert. Alert. Alert.

It's definitely his go-to in the movie. I miss this era of two movies coming out about the same topic at the same time, right? Dante's Peak and Volcano, Deep Impact and Armageddon, Observe and Report and Paul Blart Mall Cop. We need more of that. Two movies being made at the same time about the same kind of topic. Didn't Day After Tomorrow have a similar disaster movie at the same time?

It was like Day After Tomorrow. 2012? 2012. Maybe. 2012 was a long ass movie, man. Not good. John Cusack driving a limo like it's an F1 car. I loved it. Day After Tomorrow was the one with Gyllenhaal. Yeah, and Quaid. And Quaid was his dad. Where they had no idea. I saw that interview where they had no idea that they were actually in that movie together. Same movie together. And they were actually father and son in it. I saw bits and pieces of that on AMC.

And wow, that movie does not hold up. That's a bad movie. I remember the stalking frost that would just follow Gyllenhaal. If he gets a little bit on him, he's frozen. I still watch it. If it's on, I'm watching it. By the way, fire title. Day After Tomorrow? Cinephobe Top 5, CT5 title there. Day After Tomorrow? Much better than the old title of Two Days From Now. Yeah.

Do you know that they changed the... They actually wanted to do 48 hours, but it was taken. Keep going. I like this. Do you guys know that Edge of Tomorrow, the movie changed title? Yes, it did. And we actually covered this. It's not the first time it's happened to a Tom Cruise vehicle. They've changed the title retroactively to Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1. Isn't that just 1159? What is it now? It's just Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning. No part one.

Thank God. So we're going to get a new title for part two. The original working title, my personal favorite, Mission Impossible Part 7 Part 1. That one didn't come out. But what you're saying about Edge of Tomorrow, it was called Live, Die, Repeat, right? Then it was called Edge of Tomorrow. And then it had another, didn't it have three? No, it's Live, Die, Repeat. It was the original. Live, Die, Repeat, dumb name. Edge of Tomorrow, that's cool as shit. What is the Edge of Tomorrow? Isn't it just 11.59 p.m.? Dude, just words. You know me and sounds cool. Just words. Just words.

Put the town on alert. Put the town on alert. Nice. Me and Zach Harper had a Mad Dog radio show like once a week that was at like 10, it was like either 10 to 1 or 11 to 2 a.m.

and we wanted to call it Edge of Tomorrow. And they blocked us from doing it. We were like, oh, come on, man. It's like the coolest name ever for a show. I like that. Now it's Live Pod Repeat. Not bad, actually. No, it's pretty bad. It's pretty funny. Yeah, but Live Die Repeat was the marketing tagline. Yes. And they realized, wow, that looks good on a poster. And if you see the Edge of Tomorrow DVD cover,

It's essentially been renamed. And it's just live, die, repeat. And I think they've been talking about a sequel. And Tom Cruise is 62 at the time. It's a banger of a sci-fi movie. It's really good. It's the perfect movie. Yeah, and it has comedy elements. It has everything. When I get out of this recent 90s kick, maybe 15 years from now,

And I get around to like the, you know, 2009, 2010, turn of the decade. There are some bangers in there too. Yeah, we have an older crew today. So like I was always going to ask,

What's that like 90s comfort movie for you? Because I have two that are bad. They're just terrible. Sandlot, Mrs. Doubtfire. But those are rated good. I'm talking about rated bad. Oh, bad? Yeah. 90s? You already know about this. We had you on the rewatch for it. Oh, I can't hardly wait. Can't hardly wait, man. I could watch that movie. That's not a bad movie. According to Rotten Tomatoes. Well, they got that one wrong. I was better off dead rated.

Better Off Dead. What was that? John Cusack also. Is that in the 90s or later? It might have been 80s. I don't know. My comfort movies are in the 2000s, to be honest. Devil Wears Prada. Actually, you know what? One of them goes really far back. Better Off Dead? Sometimes I throw My Fair Lady on the TV. What? What decade is that? There's some circumstantial evidence that's building over here. What time do you have to be off to watch that?

Is that 70s? What is that? I don't know what kind of vibe I have to be. If I want to sing a little bit, probably that. But I don't want to get into the Hamilton situation. Okay. Any Liza Minnelli vehicles you want to share with us? No, just Audrey Hepburn. What are you hiding, Izzy? I've pieced together some circumstantial evidence. During the show today, I missed the golden opportunity.

We're talking about people putting like doing things to impress people I like every time Izzy does this I usually have this running bit of what he says. Yeah my partner and they look you're gay I forgot I completely forgot then I remembered during the very very somber Billy Beane

I was like, I don't know if this is the right time. I felt like doing it there, but no, it's a dangerous joke. When he said My Fair Lady, I almost went there. Wait a second. What's going on? Better Off Dead, not Cinephile Eligible, unfortunately. Of course. That's a very highly rated movie. And actually, it's from 1985. Oh, man. Get out of here. You guys got to join me. Join me in the 90s, man. I'm telling you. I'm just...

Jumanji. It's like a random, like the first, I saw Jumanji a couple weeks ago. It's just like the first movie that pops in my head. Father of the Bride. Let's do it. Fire it up. I love it. Virtuosity. Fire it up. Father of the Bride 2. Yeah.

Which I like, I want better, to be honest. What was that? George, you son of a gun. I know you have a- I wish I had a gun. You have a cinephobe episode on virtuality. Ooh, this isn't going to help with the accusations, but the birdcage of the 1996 movie. My wife loves the birdcage. Hackman Heater. Birdcage? Hackman four-year-old Heater. Is there anybody in the movie that's bad besides the son who I hate? Yeah, whatever happened to him? I don't know, but I want to uppercut him every time he's on screen. Like, how can you ask your father to hide your whole life? What's he going to hang on to, the son?

Who was he in The Hangover? The one that didn't get any camera time. No, Justin Bertha? No, it wasn't. You're white? Then you've been afro. He's right, you are white. It's a great 2000s movie. I've got one for you guys. Passenger 57. I haven't seen it in a while. Great movie.

So I listened back to the Rewatchables episode. I'm not a huge fan of that pod, but anytime that I'm currently fixated on a movie, I'll listen to them so it's fresh in the mind. And I listened to one about Crimson Tide because I've been obsessed with this movie.

Tony, have you completed the rewatch? Hunter has now been named XO. So I'm still in the first 20 minutes of the movie, but very exciting. You're watching a movie like it's a series, right? Little 25-minute segments? Yeah, the thing is we've been moving. So I had to really balance out my time to make sure I can watch and play video games when my wife's not home. Because then she's going to see me playing video games or watching something. She's going to be like, we have a lot to do, so you've got to stop doing that. So when she's not there, I'll watch 25 minutes of the movie, play a game in CFB. That was my intention, but...

with Crimson Tide, but it was so good, I just stayed in. Raw Dog did to like 1.15 a.m. I had to go to work the next morning. But the rewatchables thing, you mentioned Passenger 57, which is, they invoke Wesley Snipes because Wesley Snipes and Denzel were going for a bunch of the same roles at the same time. Were they? And after Philadelphia, Denzel made the decision, you know what?

heat check time, I'm going to go for biggest movie star on the planet. And I'm going to take these roles that can get me there. Crimson Tide being one of them, but

He had a big swing with Virtuosity, and it was a miss. But Passenger 57, the reason why was Denzel wasn't really getting into action movies. Wesley had that on lock. Forrest Gump. It's crazy. Too highly rated, though. Yeah, way too high. I thought it was just comfort movies. The years haven't been kind to Forrest Gump. People have convinced themselves that Forrest Gump is a bad movie, and I'm not with that at all.

No. Yeah, I went out with a film person the other day and she's like, I hate that movie. I saw that tweet seven years ago too. You don't have to make your identity for us come up as bad. It's a good movie. I watched Tropic Thunder. I get it.

I got one that you might have never seen. Well, maybe you. The Craft. Oh, yeah. Well, come on. The Witches? It's got an aesthetic, too. That was every girl I went to high school with. Oh, God. I wanted to be a witch so bad. Every girl I wanted to go out with. I wanted to lift a girl up with my fingers so bad. I'm like, I can do it. I can do it. Go.

gonna say something yo so the craft came out in like the late 90s i want to say i think that's set up the whole like 96 96 yeah so the whole emo aesthetic for girls like in the early 2000s i feel came from that movie clueless yes yeah that and clueless i think you meld them together and that's the yeah two different that's a different vibe you were either the goth girl or you had the popular chick the preppy look yeah but no like mine would be like major league two

That's terrible. It's terrible, but I like watching it. And Street Fighter, the Jean-Claude Van Damme. Yeah, that was... Charlie Minogue. Yeah, but the funniest thing is like, he's supposed to be guile, super American, and then the Belgian accent is just so heavy. Yeah, I think I actually, can we play a scene from that? I have it on my phone. I literally do. I'm going to get in my boat. I'm going to get in my boat. Kick Bison's ass. That son of a bitch, Bison's ass. There you go.

I'm like, this guy is not from the Midwest. That's not how they sound out there. Terminator 2. That's a great film. Tony's never seen it. What? I started watching Terminator 1. No, skip it. Skip 1. Skip 1. I didn't know, guys. We had a lot. You know who was supposed to... I'm not surprising...

Fuentes and certainly not Amin. You know who it was supposed to be? Well, there was a casting decision made by James Cameron. And you probably can see this video on IG Reels where he explains it, but it was a big piece of trivia. The Terminator was supposed to be either Arnold Schwarzenegger or someone else. And the reason why they didn't pick the other person, former athlete, was because they had a hard time envisioning the audience believing this person could be a murderer, a killer.

That former athlete? OJ. OJ Simpson. Wow. I thought once- Oh, I thought you knew this. Tony put together the context clues. Once the killer came- I was going to say Brian Bosworth, which would have been a fun one, too. Tony put together the puzzle. He was like, uh, murderer, 90s, OJ Simpson. The minority report thing going on. By the way, speaking of Terminator, this is a 2000s movie, but I will go to my grave. It was the best Terminator movie. Terminator Salvation. No.

What? Christian Bale? That's the one where he has the meltdown. You can't have a viral aspect to that movie outshining the actual movie. Oh, good for you. Yeah. Oh, my God. The family guy bit that they did off of that. So good. Oh, M&M fell over there when I was just going over there to get it. So good. I'm not in the scene if you're doing that. But it also shows you why Bale is so good because he doesn't break that ax out. No.

It kind of leaks out when he yells, but he's method that way. If you ever watch the DVD extras on certain films of the early mid-2000s, they interview him about these movies that he's doing. And you're like, where the hell did this guy's accent come from? Yeah, you never would have thought he's from Liverpool. Have you guys seen Gen V?

Yes. A play of the boys or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Patrick Schwarzenegger. Yes. Arnold's son. Yep. A smoke show. Yeah. That man's got a future. Total beefcake. Really? Yes. Looks nothing like his father. I was shocked when I found out he was the main character. He's got the little beady eyes. The same little beady eyes. Yeah.

And a similar jawline. And general build. Yeah, you can see it. You see it. You see it afterwards. It wasn't the first time. Half of him is Arnold. He's a hot cake. It's in there somewhere. But his love child looks more like Arnold. Oh, his love child looks just like him. Mexican Arnold. Yeah, exactly. Arnaldo. I knew that he looked like him, but when I saw him in the Arnold documentary, I was like, yo, I can't believe he ever tried to lie about that. He's like, come on, that's my kid. It's not mine. Father. Yeah, exactly. I was more like, papa.

He was Mexican. I was going to make a tacos joke. Do it. No, I'm glad you didn't do that. How to do Taco Tuesday in Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice. LeBron Taco Tuesday? Yes. Taco Tuesday. It's Taco Tuesday. Can you do it as Pierce Brosnan, Mike? What? No. Didn't we already cover that all I can do is put a town on alert? And maybe go, the stone's going to blow. Put the town on alert.

I still got to watch Dante's Peak. If you want to talk about bad accents in a movie, they never even address what the hell's going on there. It's almost as if they may have done some exposition and then cut it out because we can't. This guy's not American. We can't do it. No, we'll just, it'll exist and maybe he's an intellectual. What's his character? There's that accent that actors put on in Troy.

where what accent is this? Because that ain't Roman. Like what is it? Now you know who you're fighting. And it's a voice that everyone instinctually puts on when they're doing like a period piece. No one actually talks like this. Which is, I always wondered about this, like in early America, right? Like Hamilton or whatever. Shouldn't everybody have British accents?

What is the American accent? That was developed over time. Everybody for at least 50 years should all have had a British accent. So they landed in America like in the 16th, 1500s. So we had some time to get talked out. But I do love Izzy's version where it's like everyone's like, we the people shall not appear to tyranny. And then some guy comes in, hey guys, are we going to fuck up these Brits or what?

The wooden teeth kind of screwed up the accent, I assume. That's true. A little bit. I always think, like, man, everybody must have smelled like absolute dog shit. I always think about that. Jesus. Wooden teeth are funny. Nostrils. Wooden teeth are always funny. Okay, so he must have done, like, a majority of his breeding pre-wooden teeth, right? No, man. Like, George Waxman, you think he was getting it in after? Yes. Oh, yeah. Do you know who I am? Yeah. Right. Like...

Take a look at the dollar, buddy. You think Martha was... I got there. That's not how that one works. You think Martha was taking care of this? Come on, man. Let's go under this chair. Well, I mean, I'm not saying he was a good guy.

So they made Mount Vernon for us. I mean, accents can go away pretty quickly. Like one week with my brother-in-law and I'd just come back with a drawl. Layla, get! I'm going to tell you, that's the most annoying thing. If I'm somewhere with a bunch of accents for too long, it's the worst.

Like when my parents used to live in France. And so my English all of a sudden had this kind of lilting tone to it. And I'm like, why am I talking like this? Oh, it's the French people. I got to get out of here. And vocabulary definitely gets affected. And mannerisms and stuff, too. You hang out here long enough, you'll be saying bro and man all the time. Oh, yeah, because only Miami says bro. You exchange enough emails with people that work in the UK. It's bro with an accent. Yeah, you know, when you hear it, you know.

Bro. Bro. I watched enough Below Deck where I started saying bruv. Oh my god, me too! Shout out to the Africans on Below Deck. I did a bunch of boxing days with Chelsea and I was just telling people happy Christmas. I was like, who are you, man? Lean in. Like, over here, you're what they think...

an English accent is in the States. Like, you're special. Don't conform. You're the man over here. We actually have accents. It's not clear to us here, but my wife has an accent. My wife's Greek and white and like, but she goes like to the Carolinas. Everyone's like, you talk funny. Back to Mike's point about Dante's Peak, they did give Pierce Brosnan's character a very Western name. Could have been from anywhere. Harry Dalton. Yeah. That guy gets

That guy can be from literally anywhere. Harold. Yeah, exactly. It would have been different. It would have been called Dalton's Peak. What a hairy. Oh. Well, no, it shouldn't have. Yeah, that would have been weird. I was watching GoldenEye with Pierce Brosnan. Ooh, yeah. Got halfway through and I was like, huh. It's not that good. Yeah. GoldenEye, the rare video game was better than the movie. Yeah. That never happened. I remember playing the video game as a kid and then I was like, never seen it, so I'm going to watch it. Slappers only. And then I looked at it and I was like, uh. Slappers only or Big Head Paintball mode. Yeah.

Got Lord Stock running around being the bad dude. I was the Tom Brady of hanging out in that vent. And I first got the silencer. I'm going to shoot that hat off. You're not going to know it. You're just going to stay on that toilet. Hat's going to fly off of you. You mean the very first mission, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you not see this hat? It's because I had the silencer on. Of course. Does that have peripheral vision? Not anymore. You could probably do a full episode on just stuff in movies that isn't really real. Like silencers, vans.

don't work like that. - Oh yeah. - What if you get a pillow over it? I've seen that one happen. - Or a potato. - Potato gun, yeah. The best version of that, this isn't real at all, but everyone thinks it is, is from National Treasure Book of Secrets, where they had this whole story about how Alexander Hamilton did whatever, and it's completely made up. But people took it and ran with it and thought it was real.

I think that's one of my favorite trivias that I ever learned from doing a movie for Cinepho. Are you excited for the National Treasure script? It's long since been rumored. Yeah. And they tried a series that didn't have Nick Cage in it. I don't know. I didn't care to even give it the time of day.

of day because I'm like Nick Cage isn't Nick Cage anymore I don't hear it's crazy because I'm not a fan of like so they did this also for Mighty Ducks they did Mighty Ducks series a series spin-off of a movie movie series I'm not so crazy about although that ever worked showed my what Cobra Kai showed my kids the original Karate Kid movie they'd never watched it this last weekend and afterwards they were like well

what's Cobra Kai about? And I said, well, Cobra Kai basically is like 30 years later. And so we watched the trailer. Now my kids want to watch Cobra Kai. And I'm like, oh, okay. Cobra Kai season one was excellent. I heard it's falling off a little. It's, it's, I get what they did. They did a pivot to like, let's make it a little bit sillier, a little bit more, more soap opera, more slapstick, more just same kind of gags over and over again. Season one was like, let's,

legitimately dramatic and it's like I had you rooting for Johnny and Miguel like you know basically you were looking at Daniel LaRusso like yeah you were the asshole you were the reason why that's the main reason it hit for me because just flipping the story line just like wait a second you can do that with any movie really just hear the you know the

points of the other people and just be like, oh, wow, maybe you weren't such a jerk. Maybe the other guy was more of a jerk. But after that, I didn't ask for any more Cobra Kai. They're kind of doing this with Star Wars now, I feel. With the Acolyte? No, just, yeah, the Jedi were like,

they're always good and they can never do wrong and they're the good guys and now it's like yo there's some dark shit going on here like that they don't want to prove so wicked is probably the best example that's right like which i've never seen but i'm excited for the movie to come out so i can find looks amazing i'm not i learned my lesson from hamilton i ain't going to no more fucking broadway shows make it into a movie i'll watch the movie your daughter likes hamilton now it's so good you're off imax too right oh imax get the fuck out of here i don't need it it's

all a ploy for the movie industry to save itself. Look, I understand. How dare they? $40 ticket so is this thing. $40 ticket so mean and wise is this thing? It's too much shit. Where am I looking at? You don't want to feel the seat moving? No, no, no. That's 40X though. That's 40X. I'm telling you right now. It's overrated. It'll make a movie better but if you want to

like I've heard Deadpool and Wolverine. I'm like, I don't want to do four. I saw it by the way. Yeah. Did you like it? It's good. It's fun. People have their opinions. Like nothing matters anymore. And I was kind of like that. And also like, don't fall for this trick. They're, they're just trying to get you a cheap cameos. I'm like, I kind of work, but they, but they, yeah, I see Snipes walks in his blade and I'm like, hell yeah. No, they've ruined it on social media. I haven't, I haven't, I haven't ruined for me. Oh,

You haven't seen it? You knew that. You haven't seen the stills? I haven't seen anything. I haven't seen it. I'm seeing it this weekend. He's in it. Thanks. But, like, the idea is that...

That they came on a month ago. I give them well, I did it like two weeks ago No, but like they I guess like once he hit the two-week period like Ryan Reynolds is just spoiled I'm not Spoilers on who the Deadpools are but yo, you know what my Instagram algorithm looks like it does not look like Deadpool versus Wolverine I just I G algorithm as a mean now knows is very weird and it's just I would classify it as dinner for schmucks. Yes, I

I just keep trying to top the person that I'm sending a means way. Mine is dinner for fucks. That's a good way to put it. I figured. That's a good way to put it. But say all that to say, the Deadpool franchise has always been that.

even before this was a thing. So they get licensed to me to do whatever kind of, you know, breaking the fourth wall self-referential stuff because that's what it's always been about. It's not like this all this multiverse shit that everyone's doing now. Yeah, but it is getting into that. So like if...

Like it works because it was always siloed. So now if it's going to be in a world of consequence, you have this person breaking the fourth wall in a place where consequences at one point matter. Now they don't because, you know, the multiverse. Have you guys talked about the whole Robert Downey Jr. is Dr. Doom thing? No, I've been wanting to get into it because... We can talk about it here. Yeah, I felt some kind of way. All right. So like...

I went into Deadpool and Wolverine with the hope and expectation that this would kind of like reset the multiverse thing because it's gotten out of hand. And then I left it. I'm like, that didn't exactly do what I hoped it would, but it laid the foundation potentially for doing that. And then almost immediately I saw the Robert Downey Jr. casting thing. I'm like, wait a second. Now we're back in like crazy town. This is not, this is not good. So I kind of like shat on it initially. And now I'm like,

relax, Mike. There's bigger things. Just have fun. I like that take, though. Just chill. You don't have to have an opinion on everything. It's kind of crazy to see them. Mike Fuentes. I'm trying to talk to Danny. Your thought was Mike Fuentes should not have a take on everything. I like that, actually. I'm trying to talk to Danny because I want this conversation to run over because it could be a bigger conversation. Then all of a sudden I hear, hey, Mike, you don't have to have an opinion. I'm like, can you hear me? I'm like, what the hell?

Am I talking into an open mic? Yes. I can. Well, in that I see your mouth's moving and no sound can surprise me at this point. I think I have you pegged. Can I mention real quick? I had a bit of an... I was waiting for Izzy to do it. And then for me to go, you're gay! Pegging isn't even a gay thing.

There was this moment in the show earlier in the week where it was just kind of the title of the episode We do numbers yeah, I know I created the show but on now on what yeah, I created the show on YouTube I started putting titles for a search engine optimization. I know it's a joke Yeah, you know how people wonder how Dan this is back then because he's trimmed down a lot but how Dan with all those food like allergies could actually be heavy and

There was something that he said on the show the other day that just kind of turned a light on. He was talking about being at an airport, and he called the moving walkways a treadmill. And I don't think he knows how treadmills work. They're supposed to work against, and I believe he's just been walking on the airport walkways his entire life and calling it exercise. Either that or Dan's been on the treadmill at the gym but going the wrong way. Turns around and is like, this is pretty easy.

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I don't feel like screaming you betcha. So we're just going to go. You betcha. It's presented by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. So it's NFL Futures. You can make it a sexy segment if you want. You betcha. You betcha. You betcha.

This is organic. Are we actually doing sports here? That was not a part of the show that I created. It's very light. It's very light. It's quick. And so it's NFL Futures season, right? And I found one on DraftKings Sportsbook, and it's how many out of the Eagles, Bears, Patriots, Commanders, and Jets will make the 2024-25 NFL playoffs? Eagles, Bears, Patriots, Commanders, Jets. Eagles, Bears, Patriots, Commanders, Jets. Over two and a half is the number of teams. Ooh.

So we're going to talk it through right now because the Patriots definitely ain't going. No, Patriots suck. Commies are not good. The commies and the Eagles are working against each other. So these are five teams in total? Yes, five teams in total. Eagles, commies, Bears, Pats, Jets. Two and a half is the number. I'm going to go. No Patriots, obviously. I'd say Eagles for sure making it.

I don't know, man. Bad vibes. Out of those teams, though? Bad vibes. Yeah. Out of those teams? The coach and the quarterback aren't getting along. Same thing with the Jets. It kind of felt like towards the end of last year they'd been figured out. I was going to say Jalen Hurts feels like he's been figured out. Well, I don't think it's so much Hurts as it is like the whole thing about his innovation to

to unlock Jalen Hurts. And they made it to a Super Bowl and they almost won the damn thing was, we're going to go quick. He's going to be super decisive. He's going to be the most decisive guy. And if it's not their run. Yeah, and we're just going to catch everybody by surprise. But there are pretty smart guys that craft defenses and schemes around these. So with an entire offseason...

they were like, okay, we'll check you on this now. Now we know. How do you adjust? Quarterback and coach. They failed the test. Well, how big was Shane Steichen in that going quick and helping Jalen Hurts? Because now the thing is, he's gone and now it's Sirianni like, oh, you're this genius. And I was like, oh, wait a second. No, maybe

It is funny how Sirianni became a genius when we have to remember his introductory press conference. And that was not the narrative around that. And he had great coordinators that both became coaches afterwards. But also, think about their division too, right? They're going to be fighting against the commies, the Giants. I think that division could be terrible or they could be great. You never really know. My hot take is that the Eagles don't.

don't make the playoffs. So now you're down to... It's hard to pick. I think it's two teams, so I'm under. I think it's Jets and I'm bullish on the Bears. But the Jets have a tough division too, right? In their own division, the Bears are tough, man. The Jets have the Dolphins and the Bills and not really. Do you get a lot of three teams from one division making the playoffs? It has happened, obviously, but not all the time. The same thing in the NFC North. We got the Packers who people are talking about going to the Super Bowl. Lions who are...

couple plays away from being in the Super Bowl, and now the Bears. But the Bears still have to deal with teams. My caveat is, I'm counting on Caleb Williams to be good. I think he's going to enter the league, and he's going to be good. They got him some weapons. I think that team can compete, and the lines would suggest, the early lines on their season would suggest that that's the expectation from these sportsbooks. Is that a hard rock? Hard rock. Is that a...

Gotta bleep that. No, Hard Rock Stadium. Hard Rock Stadium. Is that a Hard Knocks bump, though? That everybody starts believing in the team? Like, the Lions kind of had it last year. Everybody's like, oh, wow, the Lions are actually really... And then they have a really good season? I'm happy you apply that context because I'm just learning that the Bears are on Hard Knocks, or at least, at the very least, being reminded of that. My caveat is, I think Washington can have a good team. I was going to say that. And if Jaden Daniels...

can replicate what he did in the pros in college. Unless Dallas is an absolute lock to win the division, one of those two teams is going to win it because it's not the Giants, right? So one of those two teams, if Dallas disappoints, is definitely going to make the playoffs. Keep an eye on the count. It just feels like Washington has so many holes. Both now and in November. I feel out of all these teams, the only one I have the most faith in is probably the Eagles because I feel the Aaron Rodgers project might just fall flat on its face. They can make a wild card. They can make a wild card. But I think we're all agreed that under is the play here.

Under two and a half. Yes. Just don't show me the rest of the teams in the league because then I'll be convinced that nobody's going to hang out. Exactly. These guys suck. Get these guys out of here. Well, under two and a half then is what we're taking for the season. That's you betcha right there. What was the odds on that? Minus 250. Is that something that I can actually take on the DraftKings Sportsbook app? It is. Minus 250. Where I found it. Minus 250? Minus 250. I put my first futures bet. If you have faith in the Bears, Eagles, and Jets, then more power to you. I think that's a...

That's a pretty good bet for them to put out there. It's pretty smart because it's tricky. I think most people are banking on the Eagles, and I think nationally there should be more questions being asked of what's going on in Philadelphia. There's only one team you can absolutely rule out, and that's the Patriots. Yeah, that's true. They are bad. Nine-and-a-half-point dogs. Did you see what they were going to offer at Uke? And he's like, yeah, no, I'm good. $32 million a year, and he's like, you can't pay me enough. I got to drive to Gillette? No, thanks. You cannot pay me enough. That's a tough drive.

You know who he keeps getting bet on? M. Night Shyamalan by Hollywood. I don't know how he does it. He has his fans. I guess. And I know he's the master of this, I make a twist ending horror film. Is that his thing? I mean, kind of, yeah. That's not his only thing. Putting himself in his movies. Oh, yeah. To be fair, it's Hitchcock. I also heard that he regretted heavily putting himself in, what's the one with the IT Dead people? Sixth Sense. Sixth Sense. He regretted casting himself.

No one knew who he was really at the time. And he played a speaking role. He was a doctor. But now everyone's doing the DiCaprio thing when he shows up like there it is. I also recently saw Old, which is one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. Is that the one on the beach where they all turn old? Yes. I haven't seen that one. Legitimately, Amin's no longer with us. I would never do it. No, he's with

He's not in the room anymore. No, he went to that beach. Vacation with the sky. If they did a cinephobe episode on that one, like first hand in the air, not it. I never want to see that movie ever again. So I always thought it was a cool concept.

And then right when the movie starts, I'm like, wow, this acting is terrible. I'm going to sit through this for another two hours. And it has my man from Hereditary in it. Yes. And usually he makes good choices. And I had just seen Cabin in the Woods. For some reason, I've been on this unexpected Shyamalan thing, but saw Cabin in the Woods. Is that the one where they're in the Cabin in the Woods? Yes. Wait, no. That's a Shyamalan. Wait, no. Isn't there another movie that's Cabin in the Woods?

That's what I was thinking. Yes, well, there's Cabin in the Woods, which is a horror film, yes, called Cabin in the Woods. I'm thinking the one I'm trying to tell you is... I saw the movie, but they changed the title on this one, too. Yeah, it was called Knock at the Cabin. Yeah, it was like a Cabin at the End of the World or something like that, and then they changed because it has to do with the end of the world. Stop moving into different cabins, people. That's why I asked if it was the one in the Cabin in the Woods. Cabin in the Woods is a great movie. Inspired. Anything good ever happen in a cabin? Any of these movies?

In the movies? No, I can't think of anything. Didn't Abraham Lincoln do something in a cabin? He hunted vampires. Ah, that's right. Vampires. You high schoolers with your parents out of town going to this lake house, stop having sex. Just don't have sex. You know what's going to happen? Fornication is the problem. You die. Yeah, the hockey playing zombie comes out. It's crazy. But, um,

Old was terrible. Yeah, it was a real bad movie. Yeah, so Trap, I heard, is also terrible. Really? Even though I thought... Well, it has a 53 on Rotten Tomatoes. The reviews that I read on it was that this is...

M. Night kind of being self-aware. This is his lightest film. This is low-key a dark comedy, and he doesn't take himself so serious, which actually got me a little bit more. But that movie with Batista, the movie that we're still at odds as to what name... Knock at the Cabin. Knock at the Cabin. Something in the Woods. That's a solid movie. Yeah, I liked it. I almost, almost went up to M. Night Shyamalan at a Sixers game just to say hello. I don't really...

Say hello to very many celebrities. I think I said hi to Kevin Hart one time and Lil Wayne every time I see him. Okay. Where's look at me, Lil Wayne? Give me a second. Jesus. You can keep going. I was hoping for a third Philadelphia celebrity because he rattled off M. Night and Kevin Hart. But I didn't know what to call him. M. I didn't know whether to say Mr. Shyamalan, M. Night, M. Sir. Sir Shyamalan?

Mr. Knight. I didn't think he was deserving of a sir, right? And Mr. Shum, I mean, I'm in my 40s. I'm not calling him M. Night Shyamalan. I'm Mr. Shyamalan. I was like, you know what? I think most people call him M. Night. I'm just going to hope we make eye contact and do one of these and then just keep moving because I didn't want to say too much. Bimble actually, like you mentioned Bimble. Bimble told me a story in which Bimble actually pretended to be an allologist. But you know, you go to Mr. Knight's IMDB page and he is only listed as M. Night Shyamalan.

Night Shyamalan. Do we know what the M stands for? So what's the M stand for? That's what I'm trying to find out. It's like mystery. McLovin. M is for murder. That's why he makes only murder. Movies Night Shyamalan. Male Night Shyamalan. Mediocre Night Shyamalan after old. I'm not sure what that is. Is that a Troy accent? No, I just wanted to make sure that no one thought that it was my actual opinion. No one could think that. That's why I disguised my voice. Who said that?

According to Wikipedia, his name is Indian and I'm going to say it wrong, but it's Manoj. M-A-N-O-J. Manoj. Manoj. Did I pronounce that right? Not to be confused with Kylie. Yeah, so that's what the M stands for. Bringing it back to Street Fighter.

Did you know that she was in Street Fighter? Yeah. Yeah, Cammy. Really? She still looks great, man. From that movie to today, she looks exactly the same. I got in one of these Kylie Minogue rabbit holes because her song came on my Apple Music when I was writing on the trade. I just couldn't get it out of my head, this song. And I was like, has she ever been married? What's she up to? I don't know. There's some different timeline where I'm married. I think there are two Kylie Minogues. Where a 16-year-old me shot his shot with Kylie Minogue and...

I made it. And over there, everyone understood, like, yes, he's 16, but it's true love. It's okay. I also have another, there's other timelines with Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson. Really? The multiverse, Mike's multiverse. Natalie Portman, like, there isn't a... What does she do for you? Like, if there were, there's no such thing as a whole past. Well, maybe for some people, but like that, my wife sees Natalie Portman on the TV and she says, it's your girlfriend. You watch Lady in the Lake then?

She watched it. She said it wasn't that good. It's still not over. Dude, if there's one person on this planet that Apple should talk to, it's my wife. She watches everything. Well, apparently...

Amin's cousin also watches everything on Apple. She is a dedicated Apple fan. It's like me with A24 movies. They got fire shows, though. The ones I've seen of both, except for one. Presumed Innocent was really good. We all love Sugar. You watch Sugar! Just because Mike said six episodes of Sugar. We have literally 75% of the people that watch Sugar in these studios right now.

We can do it. Let's do it. It's Mystery Crate. And we were talking about spoilers. And now in movies that are still in the theater, two and a half weeks seems to be the cutoff. Guys, we are going to spoil sugar for you right now. This is a Colin Farrell noir show on Apple TV. We are going to spoil what happens in episode six. Yeah, if for some reason you think you still want to watch this, you can turn this off right now. You may actually hear us and decide...

Now I want to watch it. We're going to boost the views because... Well, this is going to help me because I have not. When you were talking about it, Mike, somebody made a comparison. I forget what it was. Do you remember what it was? And you were like, it's kind of like that. From Dusk Till Dawn where it just totally changes. The marketing strategy from Dan...

often invokes from Dusk Till Dawn that it surprises them. Well, not if you watch the marketing materials beforehand, but if you just turn on a movie and apply no context from Dusk Till Dawn, goes from this like, where's this movie going? What's the deal with these two brothers? And then boom, vampire movie. It's pretty surprising. It's like a heist movie in the beginning, right? Yeah. Cabin in the Woods is also, they call this a MacGuffin. Is that what it's called?

What's a MacGuffin? That's why in AMC theaters, the bar is called MacGuffins. Oh. Yeah. A MacGuffin is an object, device, or event necessary to the plot and the motivation of the characters, but typically unimportant or irrelevant in itself. So what I was talking about is not at all a MacGuffin. You know what?

You're my brother. I was going to ride with you no matter what. I was trying to sound smart. Miss Smart. If anyone can fuck with me on that, it's Mike Fuentes. So, all right. Let's spoil the show. Mike Fuentes, I'll hand it over to you. Cynthia, do we have your permission to go ahead and talk about this show openly? Because you have decided...

you're not going to watch a show on your own and you don't mind a spoiler. Go for it. Okay. All right. So the show, the spoiler right away. No, no, no. I'm going to give you up until that. Like, so the show starts off basically at Mike said a very like noir detective style thing where Colin Farrell plays the most, the,

the richest private investigator in the history of the world who can somehow live in a hotel, drive a classic car, wear designer suits, have all this great, he's like a multi-billionaire but somehow still a detective. Really cool. Yeah. Like he's playing it really well. He has a slick back and the fresh suit. The noir stuff works. You're in on this mystery like whodunit, where is this girl? Oh, she was mixed up with the wrong people and she's like the heir to this family acting fortune and

and the son's an up and coming actor, and can we protect her because she's in the foul shit. - Super expensive because the actors, like Cromwell doesn't roll out of his bed for less than seven figures. - And Farrell did a good job. - 'Cause he always does, he's committed, dude. - Living in the Hollywood Hills, all this great stuff. He starts on full things,

He finds dead bodies in cars. There's people following him. It's basically like the perfect detective movie. Yeah, I love how they splice in these old, tiny Hollywood movies. They have scenes from The Night of the Hunter, I think it's called. All that stuff made me think there was something there. That it wasn't just a style thing. That maybe he was somebody who just learned everything he knew through Hollywood. Something like that. Maybe it's part of a big snuff film or something. There'll occasionally be things like, oh, that's weird.

But you kind of just gloss past it. He likes to drink, but he can't get drunk because of the way his body processes alcohol. I'm like, I've never heard of that condition, but all right, cool. Yeah, the liking to drink part, and you can't get drunk. That's ridiculous. Why do you keep drinking? All these empty calories, my man. They always snip in these black and white classic movie scenes that kind of help you explain what's happening. If you've never really seen, they'd be like little parts of dialogue.

And then we get to the apex point and it's there was one scene in episode. I want to say it wasn't it was Yeah, someone flashes a gun at him. Yes. Yeah, he's flat. They flash a gun at him and he's like, please I don't like violence I don't want to do this one of his guns and then there was like the lights cut for maybe a second or it goes a little dark and you see real quickly like

like he just sort of zips through and kind of fights everybody. So a dude like pulls out a gun and you're like, how are you getting out of this one, Colin Farrell? Sugar, they have you. Dead rights. They were like human traffickers, right? Yeah. You're like, there's no getting out of this. Why are you talking all crazy? Like you don't like guns? Like this is going to go bad for them. They have you. Exactly. Dead rights. There's three people there. And then like this scene happens very quickly. And you're like,

Hold up. Did that motherfucker just hit a bullet out of the air? Yes. He punches a bullet. Then he gets stabbed with a very large knife. A huge knife. Gets stabbed right in the side. Keeps fighting. It happens so fast that you almost have to slow it down to see what happened. You probably did that because I didn't even know that that happened. Yeah, because a guy has the blade.

it's a big fucking blade. And he hits him in the side and I'm like, probably vital organs there. But he keeps fighting. - It's a tense scene. So like, I was watching it with my wife. I'm like, did he just shoot at, oh shit, look at what else has happened. Like so much is happening and you care. They do a really good job about getting you to care for Sugar. - Yeah, Sugar, 'cause you like him a lot. - Yeah, he's super likable and he's knocking the performance out of the park.

and you're wondering where this is going, and that scene moves so fast and it's of such import that you don't really stop and think, wait, did he actually smack that bullet out of the air? - The only reason I did take a beat and think what had happened was because you had told me something happens in episode six and it's fucking crazy, and I'm like, so when I saw that, I'm like, is that what he's talking about? - I also binged it, Mike.

of mics. I binged it to the point where I was just... And I had to be on the show the next day. It was like 3 in the morning. I was like, thank God this is episode 6 because I'm not watching episode 7. So that's probably why that scene happened faster for me. Yeah, the good news is this is a half hour show. So if you don't want to hear the spoiler up until this point, you can...

watch this show and revisit this. Yeah, inside of like a day and a half. And then you can hear a couple people talk about what's about to happen because he does get stabbed. And he responds to the stabbing like it is a serious injury. He's like caring for it. He seems like he's gonna die. And...

He's living this super secret life, so you understand why he's not just going to a hospital. So you're following along then, because naturally your reaction would be like, get to a hospital. No, I can't. I have this shady past. I work with this syndicate of other private investigators. So that's why, call my other friend, who doesn't seem to know me.

I was wondering, dude, like my mind was going, yeah, my mind was going, I'm like, what is their relationship here? They have such a tight bond. Is he, is this his lover? I was like trying to piece together, like what is the tie that binds here? Why does he trust this guy? Because they make it like a little bit of, like you said, like a secret society of investigators that are working for some higher power. So you think like, is this like some fucking umlaut

illuminati like investigator cult that's happening and then it's true like she cares about him but then she's keeping stuff from him because she'll be on the phone with other people being like he's getting too close whatever and then she'll be like well you gotta get him away from that yeah so i'm like what is this mystery all right what is going on exactly you're really into it yeah exactly and is sugar gonna die yeah because he like i said big

Big blade. Stomach. I was like, he's in danger. So he's like on his deathbed. His friend comes over that call this guy. He's the only person that I can trust. He's like the wolf. And so he comes over and like they lock the bathroom door and he starts giving him treatment. Yeah. And he's looking in the mirror and like, give him the shot. Yeah. All right. And then what happens next? And then turns blue.

Was it blue on your TV? It was kind of silver on mine. It might have been silver. He's an alien. He's an alien. Yeah. He's an alien. Everything kind of wafts over and his hair is gone and he's bald and he has like these textures on his face. He's an alien. They're all aliens. He's an alien. He's an alien. It's like for a flashing moment, like it's on your screen for like a second and a half and then the episode ends. They're on a mission. The aliens are on a mission. Yeah, they are. So you...

You're not yanking my chain. This is exactly what happened. No, no. This is a really cool looking noir show. Who done it? Human trafficking. What's this guy's job? What is this? He's an alien. He's an alien. He's an alien. Like a meteor out on a field. Screw them for doing this because then I had to look to Cynthia like,

What? Is he an alien? Were we stupid? Were the eyes turning blue at the end of the intro every time or only after? No, it was only after. Okay. Yeah. So they start because it has a cool noir-ish intro to it.

And so, like, I had let a day pass so I could process. He's an alien? He's an alien? Yeah. At first I thought, like, no way. He's a cyborg or something. He's like half robot. And that's why he's able to take this. Because there's no way he's an alien. That would have also ruined the show. Yeah, 100%. He's not just an alien, Mike.

He's a blue alien. - Yes. - Like he's an alien alien. - A proper alien. - Like the deepest of all the aliens. - Yeah, he's not some humanoid that's like, I'm an alien. - No, he's an alien. - He's legit. - And he's going through like existential crises, like he's just thinking through like he is a human. - And he's fallen in love with the human race through apparently all these old timey movies and he's built his personality and the reason why he drinks

is because he loves the aesthetic, and he's learning all these wonderful things about the human race. But yes, his eyes are blue in the intro video, and it was immediately a reminder, he's an alien. And then they try to play it on, like that next episode, like...

like they didn't just tell us he was an alien they just continued on like nothing the only thing that goes sometime as i remember they go sometime before like revisiting this whole alien and then of course the aliens have like some exodus plan and and they're all leaving and he needs to leave otherwise he'll be stuck there forever and it's we're gonna spoil everything the guy who he trusted more than anybody in the world now

the one to trust. Not who he thinks he is. That always happens. We've heard from Izzy, we've heard from the mics on this, but the person that I really want to find out what they were thinking on this, because like, I kind of, the only reason you guys watched Sugar was because I watched it and I had like the genuine reaction like, what the hell? And you guys were curious about

but Tony, I'm so curious as to how you experience all that. He's been very quiet. No, because I've been listening because I told Mike when he told us something happens in this show, but he didn't spoil it. He told me in the back a couple of, maybe like a week ago or something. So I was watching it

And I was getting it. I was like, okay, it's interesting, whatever. But it kind of lost me towards the end of the first episode. And Mike's like, no, you got to get through six episodes. It's just a half-hour show, bro. And I'm like, six episodes. One more episode, bro. I'm sure. That was Mike's line. Bro, just one more episode. You can get there. It's only half an hour. One more episode of Sugar Bro. Get to six. So my issue is this. It's almost like the –

The Willis Reed situation, and I'll explain why. So Willis Reed comes in to the game with a broken leg, right? Supposed to be this hero. I end up finding out he only scores four points in the game. So we look at Sugar, right? He's an alien, but then it goes away from him being an alien. He scores four points in the game now. Yeah.

That's how it works? All of one moment says do not go to college. The final episode is like, all right, we're going to button up all your questions that you had about him being an alien. Sorry, we did that to you in episode six and like seven and eight.

were like not at all about him being an alien to which i say this is why everybody passed on this show yeah this is why every studio which is what happened every studio passed on this show because they couldn't come to grips with wait a second he's an alien so what you and cynthia told me this at at the bar and i was like because like and then because then it goes back i forgot there's like a serial killer type aspect at the end yeah yeah which which

gets totally overshadowed by he's an alien. - So wait, what happens in seven and eight then? - They just keep with this mystery. - They go back to the mystery of-- - Potentially for season two. - Of the missing girl and it turns out she was being held captive by some guy who was into torturing women. - Who had, spoiler alert,

At this point, I was like, sure. No, but his alien friend that treated him was just watching. He was cucking murder. Basically, he would help get the girls so this guy could string them up and cut them open and murder them. So he knew where she was the whole time. These aliens are just here to document what's going on.

And there is like a treaty between the alien race and humans because they're like late to leave the planet. So there's one scene. They're the last boat out. Yeah. There's one scene where Nurse Jackie's like boyfriend, if you remember Nurse Jackie. Yeah. Like he seems to be like the guy that's in charge of all these, wrangling all these aliens. Underrated Nurse Jackie. He gets popped. It was. It was underrated. He gets popped by like a cop. Hmm.

And so like, okay, they're breaking their treaty right now. But yeah, his friend alien was just like, his morbid curiosity led him to...

tailing this murderer. Do you want to keep spoiling Apple TV shows? Because Dan mentioned Presumed Innocence earlier in the week. Presumed Innocence, excellent. Except for the DA. You guys can't spoil that because that is by consensus a good show. It's a really good show. But how long has it been in release? A while. But it's going to have a season two. Whereas Sugar, I don't think so. Me and Mike were questioning, how is it going to have a season two if you know how the show ends?

How do we get to season two unless something else happens? It's got to be like a true detective thing. A different story. A new case, a new story, new actors. But what Tony's talking about with the DA is there's an actor who plays the new district attorney that gets voted in. And he has a very particular voice. His voice is terrible. That's either great acting or this guy's not going to get many more roles. Because that is so hard to listen to. Yeah. Every time he talks, the scene where he asks the guy, he's like, are you ready for this case? They're at the bar, right? And he's like, yeah, I am. And he's like, you see?

That kind of response scares me. Dude, that's exactly what it sounds like. And I'm just like, yo, what? Every time he opens his mouth, like the first day of filming, when he did that accent, because he's British in real life. So when the first day he does that accent, does nobody go, hey, what was that? It feels like something's wrong with his jaw. And that's just how his words come out. But then you hear him talk in a normal setting. He talks nothing like it. But it's just the whole like, yeah.

Yeah? You think you're going to have fun with this cake? And I'm just like... First of all, banger of an impression. Thank you. Second of all, it's a good choice by him. Who the hell else would have remembered that role, right? You know what? It's true. We're talking about him more now than probably we ever would before. Don't get me started with a bartender, too.

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