The Big Suey: The Big Hammer (Throw)
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Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

Stu Gantz is criticizing Simone Biles for hopping at the end of a routine and is generally saying she should win first place at everything. So, Siciliano, Simone Biles, giant tragic failure today? Yes.

Oh, God. She just won silver. And yes, she did step out. It looked like twice from where I was watching. Sorry, guys. I was in makeup. I was kind of like looking and had the monitor on the wall. But the news here is that Biles got silver. But Jordan Childs just I guess there was a score adjustment. It looked as if she was on the podium. And then all of a sudden,

He's now got the bronze. So I'm trying to figure out what happened. My phone's blowing up. They've gone silver bronze on floor, and it looked like Biles had silver, but Childs didn't get there. And then all of a sudden, now they go silver bronze with Andraji taking the gold. Hi, guys. Welcome. We appreciate you being our correspondent. We know you're very busy. Go ahead, Billy. Ask him your question. Is gymnastics popular? No.

Possibly corrupt. Oh, wow. I got some phlegm in my mouth, yeah. It's okay. Is gymnastics possibly corrupt? I mean, it feels like there's a human element of scoring that you could just kind of give anyone anything that you want to give them, right? I'm not the gymnastics expert, but I would say that for years...

look, anything that's judged, right? Anytime you go to a scorecard, you're going to get people to disagree, right? I mean, look at boxing for all these years. It goes to the scorecard and you're like, really? I didn't see that score. So I'm not up on the exact like, oh, she stepped out. That's a little deduction. Sure. Yeah. But like all the little intricacies on the balance beam and the rings and everything, like I...

I don't know. The one that got me yesterday was the skeet shooting. Did you see that? It was between Chile and Great Britain for gold. And it came down to the final one and the final shots. And the British shooter clearly hit

The whatever the heck you call it, the clay pigeon, except it didn't blow up. And she starts and they said, you missed it. And she starts pointing and pointing and pointing. And if you look at the replay play, there's clearly a chunk that comes off. I mean, she hit it, but it didn't blow up and there was no puff of smoke by rule that counts. But they have three judges and they conferred and they all went now. We didn't see it.

But she hit it. And they said she missed it. And the Chilean shooter got the gold right then and there. And she argued and argued and argued. And it's not like you're arguing with a guy about whether or not you fouled the shooter. She actually has a gun. She is a shooter. And...

They didn't give it to her. She got sober, but she hit it. They should still be going. Stugatz, do you want to take up your criticism of Simone Biles with Andrew Siciliano? What's your criticism? I'm not certain if you watched the vault over the weekend I did. Simone was great, but I don't care how high you get. OK, I don't care how many turns you do. For me, it's important that you stick the landing.

And she did not. She had the hop on both of them. She had the hop. Yes. And I feel like Rebecca, I can't pronounce her last name, but she's a great gym. Andraji. Andraji. That's why you're good, man. I got to tell you. I feel like her jumps, her vaults were better. She stuck the landing on both.

She should have won the gold. The only reason she didn't is because her name is not Simone Biles. Your thoughts? No. OK, so I get what you're saying, but here's here's why Simone Biles won. OK, he is doing a vault that quite literally nobody else can do. It is considered the most difficult vault ever.

in history. She invented it. Basically, she invented it. But she's the only one that can pull it off. Her degree of difficulty is so high that she's already, if she could pull it off and at least come close to sticking the landing, he's going to win. And then afterwards, she said if by chance she comes back for L.A. in 28, at which point she'll be 31, which may as well be like 85 years old in gymnastics, she's

That she's that bolts retired. She's not going to do it again. So she's going to come going to have to come up with something else to do in 28 in L.A. if if if she comes back. But what we just saw there on floor, there is a good chance that is her final conversation.

competition, period. Like, it's over. Andrew, I'm just saying, she doesn't stick to the landing, okay, for a jump that she invented. She steps out of bounds twice. She wins a silver. I mean, what are we doing here? So what you're also saying is on her career, possibly, if she retires, she didn't also stick the landing by only winning a silver. Stu Gott's professional critic.

Yeah. Are you the guy that when, when the plane lands and there's a little bit of a hop there. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Do you, I don't clap. Do you stop by the cockpit on the, first of all, nobody should ever clap when the plane lands. Like what the hell is going on? He's supposed to land the plane, but are you the guy that opens up the cockpit door and starts like giving crap to the

pilot because because there's maybe a little bit of swerve there or a hop when the 737 hit the tarmac yeah tell me choked uh we got okay we've got the rare latin uh latin to americas that we can hit siciliano with he's not traveling to any any latin american countries any hispanic flight oh no republic to cuba it's great yes we need to clap hey we made it we made it we

Are you kidding me? I've flown Copa to Panama City a hundred times. I'm a Star Alliance guy here, yeah, all the time. What are you doing in Panama City? No, I've been there, done that. Okay, but... Well, because when you go to South America, and I've been to South America plenty, you know, too much, you know, inside baseball here. It's easier if you want your Star Alliance, if you want your United miles.

Just from L.A., go COPA through Panama City. And plus, Panama City Airport, really, there's no passports. You just go to the next gate. It's the easiest thing ever. All right. So, Siciliano, when you land in the DR and our people are applauding, are you staring at them and judging them? Is that what's happening? A whole bunch of Hispanic people and you, and you're saying, no, don't clap. That's his job to land in the plane. And we're thrilled that he did his job correctly. Juan! Juan!

No, I think it's idiotic to clap. No, I don't get the clapping thing. But when you land at the D.R., you're only like 20 minutes away from the Guardians Winter Ball facility. And as a big Guardians fan, you know, I want to check that out. So just get me off the damn plane. Put it on the poll. Are Hispanics more grateful for life than Angie? I don't get the clapping. I just I don't get the call.

Clearly you don't get it. You're like judging Hispanic people for being thankful that they landed safely. It sounds like you and Stugatz are on the same side here. Stugatz is saying, you know what, Simone, land the plane. I'm not going to clap until you land the plane. There's a difference. You guys are saying the same thing. Simone lands the plane. She lands the plane. I mean, with a hop, though.

It hops and it skips. Andrew Siciliano, I want to talk some football with him and some Hall of Fame with him. But before we do that, just as a professional broadcaster, who I imagine, as good as you are, that you're at least a little bit of a perfectionist, if you had called the Noah Lyles thing with the wrong winner...

What would your next four years have been like and how much would you have eaten your entire nose? It's it's tough. Lee has been amazingly humble and he just tweeted, hey, I saw it one way and I got a little ahead of ahead of myself. And congratulations to Noah Liles. I'll be honest. I was back in the hotel room watching there. My shift had ended maybe an hour earlier. I thought naked eye. I thought to Shane one.

because like with like seven, eight meters left, like the final 10 meters, Lyles was not in front. And my brain was like, oh yeah, Thompson won. But clearly he did not. Yeah, but I feel for him. It is tough. It's not like, let's say you're doing football play by play and there's, you know, throw to the end zone, guy goes up.

And then I think he caught it. Right. But you're just waiting, waiting, waiting. You're waiting for the official to put his hands up. And my eyes go right to the official. This was not like that. Right. Like it was so close. He called it like he saw it. And then clearly here.

you know it's it's it's not that's not even the shot it's a clavicle right as tariko explained later when they went back to the studio and as out of bolden said as well it's like get the the clavicle over um but that's how crazy it was like you're 0.005 away and and you're from the fastest man on earth and you're finishing fifth

Andrew, does Scotty Scheffler trade the gold medal for a green jacket? I mean, he got both this year, right? I know, but for another one, yeah. Well, he's got two green jackets and one gold medal. No, I wouldn't. Really? I wouldn't. He's already got two of the other ones. You wouldn't, but he would, though.

Did he say that? I mean, that's the pinnacle of the sport. It's not the Olympics. He did not set out when he was sitting there in a driving range when he was seven years old by himself. Yeah, man, you are. My older kids were buzzkills. I know, I'm an Olympic buzzkill. You are a buzzkill. Listen, he's seven years old. He's on the driving range. All his friends are, you know, they're running around the neighborhood. You know, they're creating havoc. They're going. Good humor truck pulls up, and he's still sitting on the range, hitting ball after ball after ball.

ball after ball. What he's thinking is not gold medal. Yes, but if they play the national anthem after Augusta, you would also see the tears. They don't, though. You know? They just put on a green jacket.

It's a weird moment. You're the guy that says the tears are fake. Well, I'm not saying the tears are fake. The anthem can draw the tears out of anybody. I mean, that's all I'm saying. Did you see Djokovic? Did you see him crying? I did. Right? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Well, let me ask you this, though, since you brought up Djokovic. You think he'd rather win the match he won yesterday or beat Alcaraz finals at Wimbledon? I mean... That's a good one. Thank you. Yeah, but, I mean, he had already won Wimbledon. Yeah. Yeah.

True. I guess it's where you're at in your career. And his knee was shot. Yeah, exactly. He was 37. Andrew, I want honesty from you here, okay? Pure, undistilled Siciliano honesty. Is this about me and Hanson today? No, it's about you and Stu Gantz right now because you are a craftsman and you have seen what has happened to our industry over the last 20 years.

Him doing what he just did when you're preparing 16 hours every night on what it is that you're doing so you can be more expert than you actually are. How enraged right now are you with Stugatz's sports radio takes from another time? I mean, you are get off my lawn, man, right now. Yeah.

I mean, I'll be honest with you. At that point with, with, with Sheffler yesterday, I'm thinking can Fleetwood somehow they get a birdie here on 18. Yeah. The force, because I think they would have had to have played 18 again, which is a 471 yard hole called, I mean, nickname the hole of death. If you remember the Ryder cup in 2018, I mean, that hole is absolutely ridiculous. So I kind of wanted the playoff there.

But the Scottie Scheffler tears...

I thought we're pretty cool. Maybe I'm just a cold heart. Maybe I'm just a softie. Yeah. You still love sports, though. Like, you know that Peacock is knocking everybody out with all of its coverage, correct? Like, this is just, I'm a bit taken aback at how the Olympics have grabbed America again in a way that I have not felt in a while. You know, I had this conversation with somebody last night. The games have been that good recently.

I really do mean that. Like, I mean, Noah Lyles, I mean, the buildup and then he met the hype, the Djokovic moment yesterday, even a moment for Kristen Faulkner. And I'm sure this is not a headline today, but did you see is an American woman from Alaska who won the cycling road race yesterday? Yeah.

She's 31 years old. I'll tell the story real quick. 31 years old. She rode at Harvard. So she's an athlete. But then she was like a lot of Ivy League kids, went to New York and worked in finance and Wall Street. And, you know, her career was over. She went to a cycling clinic in Central Park a couple of years ago, like something to do on the weekend with a friend in Central Park and went, oh, wow, I like cycling. Like five years ago, she just won gold.

in Paris and wasn't even supposed to be in the race. She was a fill in when one of the other Americans tapped out. Oh, hey, you're up, Kristen. And she wasn't leading. The two juggernauts were fighting it out like five kilometers to go. And all of a sudden she comes from the middle of the pack and then blows by them and wins the

Like by a minute, I mean, she dusted them and she won a gold medal. They said it was like as big a moment in cycling in 40 years for the American. So like those kinds of stories. Yeah, that that's why the ratings are so good. And plus, look, it's the middle of the summer.

It's something to watch and the Americans are killing it. So yeah, they're awesome. They're good stories to tell. Andrew, I saw on social media, I believe you alluded to it earlier. Are you actually co-hosting with Scott Hanson today on Gold Zone? We are. Yeah, they sent out a press release and everything. So from between 2 and 2.30, that Red Zone multiverse actually becomes a thing. Yeah.

like Ron Burgundy and Wes Mantooth, except no tridents. And we're going to be together in the studio at...

And I think we're going to do 30 minutes. Who knows? Maybe, maybe if it goes well, we'll do an hour. I don't know. But right now scheduled for 30 minutes between two and, and two 30. The gold zone broadcast 49 gold medals in 48 hours over the weekend. But I did want to get to some football with you. I watched, I watched some of the hall of fame speeches. It's a, I don't know. I'm a big Miami hurricane fan. So I don't know how many classes I'll ever get like this again. So Devin Hester, uh,

real selfless act took the opportunity to acknowledge others that came before him and some contemporaries saying that guys like Brian Mitchell and Josh Cribs should be in the Hall of Fame. I found that very selfless and very cool. Sugats feels very strongly that if there is a line, Hester's a line, no one else gets in. He is anti-Josh Cribs. I assume because of your Browns ties that you're very pro-Josh Cribs going in. Uh,

I'm pro Josh Cripps. I'm also, and this is going to sound weird, I'm pro Eric Metcalf. I don't know if he totally has the resume, but as an offense, he's behind Hester on the returns. I think he has like 13 career returns maybe. But if you look at Eric Metcalf's stats, and he's a friend, Eric was a far better offensive player

Far better. He had a hundred catch season. I mean, he's a thousand yard receiver. He was a heck of a running back as a rookie. The first part of his career, a far better offensive player than Devin Hester. And he has double digit returns. Now I don't think he gets in Josh Cripps, clearly an amazing return man. And if you look at Brian Mitchell's total yards, so yards from scrimmage and then kick a special teams yards, I think he's number two overall in the history, in the 105 year history of the game.

So he's certainly top three. So the idea that Brian Mitchell, when he's, I think number two for total yardage isn't in Canton is absolutely absurd. He's a friend you just hit us with. He's a friend.

i mean we've hung out together he was one of my favorite players when i was younger um we're we're from the same area in northern virginia um yeah i where are we besties no do we text yes i i think i'm i'm i feel like i feel like you're biased i feel like you're compromised you're compromised here you're expert on eric metcalf i am compromised um brian mitchell look at the stats

Andrew, thank you for being on with us. I just want you, because these guys are at the height of broadcasting and after his usual three hour shift on Peacock's gold zone, he's going to join forces 2 PM Eastern and co-host with his longtime rival, Scott Hanson, uh,

But before you go, I just want to know if you've ever started an interview being asked a question this poorly. Is gymnastics possibly good? Oh, wow. Wow. I got some phlegm in my mouth. Yeah.

In your history, in your broadcasting history, have you ever, again, Billy, please, ever heard anything as a first question as poor as this? Is gymnastics possibly good? Oh, wow. I got some phlegm in my mouth, yeah. I had mucinex over here because I have that issue as well. Do you need some? Yeah, man. No? Okay. Mucinex, always good with the phlegm there before the show. Right.

Ceciliano, thank you for making time for us. Yeah, no, that was the worst. Answer the question. I avoided it. Yes, that was the worst. I'm sorry. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. We appreciate it. Hopefully we can check in with you one more time before it's all over. Thank you for the time, sir. Let's do it, guys. All right. Tony, your top five. I'm teasing it right now. Your Olympic top five. I can't wait to get to it. We're going to do that next.

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Don Levitard. Your history with him suggests three years of heaters. Those are the heaters. Three years of heaters, but this Stugatz, my partner enlivened by a sports team. We're having sex, baby. And Joe Maurer, yes, like this is the best version of him. What? Stugatz. No, you are. Feels good. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz. Roy, what are you laughing at? Oh, the stock market. It's bad. Yeah.

Why are you guys laughing at the stock market going into the tank? Because I said to you guys, I'm going to end up working until I die. Which was the plan anyway? Sounds like it's time to buy. It is. It's a great buying opportunity. Seriously. It is. Hold me now. I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking...

Maybe six feet ain't so far down. How can you buy with no money? Hmm.

That was beautiful, guys. Billy, how do you feel about your question to Andrew Siciliano and what happened there exactly? I've had better moments. Is it because it's hard to get back on this treadmill when we've been off for a week, two weeks, three weeks? I've found it hard. Like, I've found it hard to get my footing back. I warned Izzy about this. Like, Izzy got on here. You've got to be careful when you get back on this treadmill. You don't have...

The whole thing moves fast, and your tongue can get tied up. No, I feel fine. I took a swig of this cold iced coffee. I don't know if you drink iced coffee. And it has milk in it. So I was drinking it, and then I noticed this morning that said the expiration date is two days from now, even though I bought it yesterday. I did a mobile order.

I feel like I should have longer than three days to drink this like half gallon of milk. So I was drinking it quickly. I wasn't expecting to go. And then I went, but it still had like that milky residue on my tongue. And then it was back in my throat. And then, you know, one thing led to another. But we're fine. We're still persevering. You were doing the whole milk might be expired in your head. I've got to drink this fast so that it doesn't rot on me. No, I wasn't.

I wasn't thinking it, I just drank it and now like this morning I noticed that it expires the 8th which is like two, three days from now and normally you got like a couple weeks or whatever on milk, right? So I was wondering if maybe that's why it was extra like milky on my tongue and why it got stuck is because it's like we're getting close to the end on this milk.

So it's the milk's fault that it's close to expired and stirred up your neuroses. We'll see. It's not the milk's fault that it's close to expired. It's the person's fault that, you know, left it on the shelf and then I got, you know, old milk. I did a mobile order. Did you do mobile orders ever?

Oh, big mobile order. You can't do the mobile order for something that expires quickly, though. No, but I had to. For milk, you've got to go in there and get the one all the way in the back. Mobile order is a danger. You know, I've wondered that, too. You have to choose the milk. Tony's right. No, I know. Well, look, guys, if you really want to know what's happening is that there was a sale that was going on, and it was ending that day, but I could mobile order after the stores closed and still get the sales price. So instead of going in and missing out on the sale—

I did it after the store was closed. I still got the price and then I picked up the mobile order the next morning. I have wondered about that though because like bread, I don't know if you guys have noticed like bread. You go into like a store and the wholesome man is there. Not like, you know, a good person, the man that sells like the wholesome bread.

is they're restocking the shelves because a lot of these grocery stores, the company, I guess they reserve the inventory on the shelf so they go and they fill it in and then they make the money based on what's sold. So I've always wondered if they stock, like they push the newer bread to the back so that you take the one that's expiring first and then it's like one of those dispensers that it just refills itself or if they put the new ones in the front and push the old ones back. If you work for Wholesome-

reach out to us. 786-456-4837. Is that number? That number? Where is that number? I've wondered that too. I want to call it. I'm going to call it. In the grave. All right, find out. Is there a voicemail? Is there a voicemail? I had this feeling yesterday in the grocery store because there was a stack of avocado that were about to go bad. They were very close to being ripe. It's,

hundreds of avocado and I'm like do they just throw this out every day do they throw out all this avocado I had the most engagement I've gotten in anything in a long time when I just said the price of limes today is criminal and it is have you noticed the price of limes how about the price of everything 10 for a dollar the price of everything 10 for a dollar now it's 4 for 2 dollars that's insane the price gouging limes yeah limes

We get plenty of experience stocking shelves if the stock market keeps going this way. It's going that poorly? Yes. It's real bad. It's bad for a lot of reasons, and everyone saw this coming. I talked to my accountant over the weekend because things are happening in Japan, Iran, all over the world. I've been fearing it for years. I took my money out of everything. There's global recession fears, even crypto, which prides itself on occasionally-

Crypto prides itself on occasionally being immune to these sort of things. Nope. People are capitulating left and right. What did you do with your money? I was having a whole bunch of conversations with people who were telling me government bonds are the safest of things. Just get out of all of the markets. Are they 90? You spoke to my grandfather? So boring. So boring. Did he also tell you gold?

Scared of American treasury bonds? He thought the rapture was coming. He told me gold, gold, gold. They are people who know more than I do about finances, I know, but just that the safest thing beyond all safe things is just if everything collapses, everything, all Google, Apple, if everything collapses, government bonds. Our government's so stable right now. My grandfather was a big buy gold and he was a huge Y2K guy. Wow.

huge Y2K if that I think a large part of my grandfather rest in peace was disappointed nothing happened because he was so prepared for it and the joke was on us because we were eating corned beef hash until like Obama was president you know I almost bought one of those disaster kits after you mentioned it it's like $80 at Costco yeah I almost got one I'm gonna get one now after the stock market can you afford it still I don't know

So the government that's $40 trillion in debt is what you're banking on to make sure that your money is good when everything goes to shit? No, no. What I'm banking on. How many years ago did you do this? It's an FDIC insured. 18 months ago. I mean, you missed out on a run, man. It's been a bull market until today. I know. So now take it out and put it back in. Buy low, sell high, Dan. You could have considered an OB top and top shot.

Yeah, that's true. Mike's going to get his money back. He gets like a three cent settlement. This is news for me. I don't want to say that I went maximum conservative, but I met with a lot of people because this is a fairly big endeavor we've taken on here. It's got a lot of expenses and this is these are dangerous times.

And so people who know more than me about these things at the top of the financial food chain are like, if what you fear is total collapse of everything in America, here's your safest space. But why would I fear total collapse of everything in America? Why would I ever fear that? Hmm.

And so, yes. They're still your guys? Yes, they are still my guys. No one really told me that. No one that was older than me ever really told me that part of aging is about three times a year you'll learn that you're eligible for a class action lawsuit. Yeah.

So I'm just like following the status of those. You should get a Swiss bank account, Dan. I thought of that too. Just to say that you have one. Cayman Islands too, Dan. I've thought of that too. No, that's more. I've asked questions about where can I put some money that isn't going to just... You can park it with me. Where? Oh, God.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I have had actual conversations about like, OK, and what do I do if just Trump wants my money? Like if we end up in a circumstance where he just gets to have everyone's money, how do I avoid that? That's pretty dystopian. Gold, I think. So you invested in it. I'd like to think that. I think you bury it. The pillars of American life still hold steady. Put on a mattress. Knock on wood. Mattress.

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Don Levitard.

Stugatz. Every cup game. And what? This is the Don Levitas show with the Stugatz. Tony, are you ready to do your top five Olympic moments? Because I really do feel that this show

We are ready. As a show, though, I feel that sports are moving fast. I just got done telling you 49 gold medals in 48 hours on the gold zone. Like one of the reasons this is so much fun. It's like, oh, snorting action all the time. The perfect games for our times. Day and night, something's happening. Sports, sports, sports, sports, sports. It's wonderful. And because it moves very fast, we missed out on, I believe, one of the coolest stories at the Olympics ever.

Better, I thought, than even the photo of the Brazilian surfer who was just up in the air with a surfboard next to him. Quintessential action shot. It looks like, you know, art and mystery.

I hope in your top five list, somewhere in it is going to be a story that we missed last week because we failed as a show to cover something correctly last week. I think I know what you're talking about, Dan, and that will be on the top five. I'm not going to tell you where, but it's a very important story. I'm very sad we didn't cover it. We blew it. We blew it last week. Everything was moving too fast. We missed a couple of different stories. Any OLI or we're going straight to the top five? No OLI, straight Olympic top five, and if hydrating were an Olympic sport,

you would win gold. Get 20% off your first order with Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code DAN at checkout. Dan, number five. That's how you land it. That wasn't a hop, Dan. They have brand new flavors. Really? Sugar-free flavors, too, my favorite. Lemon Lime.

All right, number five. Did you guys see the gold medal winning hammer throw of Ethan Katzberg? Yes. Yeah, well, it's an incredibly satisfying sport to watch on mute. Great.

I don't know if you watch this, but it is satisfying. I'm on a satisfying IG algo. I can watch the hammer throw because of all the rotations that they take so quick, out of control, and the thing just explodes out of their hand and flies through the air. It's very satisfying. Is that a javelin car? What segment are we doing? Is it your top

five or did you guys watch i mean no no well he asked us a question number five i'm saying did you watch there's a lot of things to watch like dan said 48 49 medals in 48 hours a lot of things maybe you didn't catch the villainous mustache of ethan katzberg which is why i brought him up he looks like he would tie somebody to a railroad track with that mustache he's got a little bit of pale momoa yes he does yeah well said nailed it dan that's a drink right there momoa

So I'm confused. Was the moment his mustache? No, the moment was him winning gold, throwing a hammer almost 100 meters. And?

Billy's not really working with you here on how this segment works. His rhythms are off with you. Well, because we started with number five, did you see, as a question. So I didn't know if the moment was there, the moment was coming or not. Ethan Katzberg's mustache and throwing a hammer almost 300 yards. Number four. Number four, Lyle's winning by .005 seconds. He ran 27 miles an hour.

It's really fast. It's really fast. By the way, has anybody won by less? .005 seconds. I don't know that that... I think that may have been the closest race we've... I mean, we've seen in our lifetimes. I didn't... Foot race, for sure. Yeah. Slow for a NASCAR race. Kansas Motor Speedway. Yes, okay. Who can forget Kyle Larson? Foot race, yes. Excuse me. The foot is a crumb. Number three. Snoop Dogg in disguise.

So I want to pull up a bunch of different things. Snoop Dogg has been in disguise the entire Olympics in different things. He's been in equestrian disguise. He was in the pool with Michael Phelps. There's another one we have here. I'm trying to think. These aren't disguises. They're just. He's not trying to hide that he's Snoop Dogg. No, I know. But it looks like he's in disguise because you're looking at the event and you're like, oh, wow, there's Snoop Dogg. He's dressed like a fencer.

Right, but that's just cosplay. He's not hiding, though. It's the Olympic spirit. It's not in disguise. Bobby Valentine was in a disguise. Oh, did you see? He actually brought that back. Bobby May? Yeah, he was like hanging around an Angels broadcast, and he brought back the disguise. Number two, the pole vaulter and his dong. Oh, that's a good story.

We can't show you, obviously, Dan, because of what, you know, the ramifications were on Max and whatnot. What kind of pixelation is that? Look at the person, the surrender cobra in the back. They knew what was going on. They're like, oh, my God, I can't believe it. But why is that pixelated like that? Yeah, I mean, you can imagine, Dan. Standards and practices. It looks like Grover. Everybody was talking about this guy's poll all weekend, right? That polls vault is what he, the headline was.

Olympic dreams shattered by man's own penis. Yeah, you know, sometimes that happens. It was the entire junk, really, and the still image doesn't do it justice. What does it justice is the slow-mo. Yeah. Watch it in slow-mo? Okay. But, I mean, that was the first and only moment from the Olympics where dreams were shattered because of a penis that was too large. Gets in the way sometimes, Dano. Billy, you're our pole-vaulting authority, does it? Yeah. What?

Does it get in the way? If you don't go high enough, yeah. It's a crossbar. That happens from time to time. He's still the big winner, though. Yeah, I mean, it worked out for him. Big winner. He'll probably get some sort of offer. But is this a common thing in pole vaulting? You're our pole vaulting authority. There's no voice anywhere in the American media. Right.

Who's the guy that won? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter? That's the thing. He's the big winner. He's the only one anyone's talking about right now. If he has a small penis, do you think he would trade his gold medal to have that man's penis? All right, make it fine. Was the big winner the big wiener? Go ahead. Number one. How many times are you going to do this trade thing?

your gold medal for blank today. I was just thinking about it. That's what you do at Olympics time. Yeah, would you trade X for Y? Which morning radio show was doing this that you decided to just lift it? I would give up the gold for a bigger penis. That's all. But he didn't win the gold. This is the old war horse coming in after the Olympics with some of his finest vintage material. But it doesn't make sense half the time. He's like, do you think he

gives up a master's he has two already mike you win a gold you have a small penis okay the guy who doesn't win it has a very large penis he says hey give me the gold medal i'll give you my large penis do you do it that's all so you think the guy that won the medal good question to actually go up and make the offer i mean i think you get further in life by being introduced hey this is a olympic gold medal winner then hey there's a dude with a big hammer like

It depends on the industry. It depends on the industry, but also, say we're going OnlyFans, right? I still think the Olympic gold medalist might pull in more money. No. Guys with big cranks are a dime a dozen on OnlyFans. Yeah, look who's intrigued. Okay, but Tony gave us top five.

five and number five the only joe with a big hammer oh mike number five was the guy who actually threw the hammer he looks like different guy yeah pale mamoa and number two was the guy with the actual hammer who you guys just said was the big winner because he has a big wing exactly you

You could have it look like a baby's arm holding an apple. You're not going to pull more than a gold medal winner that's just flashing it for OnlyFans. So it looks like the medals haven't been distributed yet, unless I'm seeing this wrong. So the gold medal winner has not been determined yet. So we can still figure out if this exchange is going to happen.

Before we get to the dramatic number one, I just want to analyze for a second the idea that Stugatz is just insistent because that Fox seat is open. Skip Bayless left very quietly. No final show, nothing. Stugatz came in today with, how do I stir debate? Okay, I'm going to go after Simone Biles.

and I'm going to trade everybody's gold medal patriotism for a penis or a green jacket? What can I trade it for? Because I want to embrace debate here now that Bayless is going out to the pasture. You've got Djokovic sweating one of his 10 Australian opens. I've never seen Djokovic react to winning anything ever.

ever quite like that. I think it means a lot to him. I know it does, but if you play the anthem after any of the majors that he wins, he'll cry there too. He cried before the anthem, dude. Mike, it was a great moment. I love the match. You know I love the match. It was one of the greatest matches ever. I agree with you. You said it was the greatest. You called it. No, it's not a five-set. It's not a five-set match. It's not Federer and Nadal at Wimbledon. Let's not get crazy, but it should be talked about as an all-timer. It's not going to be because it's not five sets, but

If you watch the drop shots that they were attempting in that, the tennis... I love a drop shot. I mean, this was your match. If you love a drop shot, they were going for things that defied physics. It was an incredible match, and

Djokovic did that with a bad wheel. It was unbelievable tennis. It was. You hit a drop shot on me, I walk off the court. I'm serious. Either we're going to pound it out from the baseline, you and I, or we're not playing. I mean, seriously. Put it on the pole. After 50, does a drop shot defeat you?

After 50, doesn't it? I played Joe Rose once many, many years ago. That's Cody's game. It's all drop shot. Drop shot and lob me. Drop shot and lob me. Greg Cody's entire game, drop shot. Gave me 6-1. Not the worst way to get hit in the junk pole vaulting, by the way. You can go up and then on the way down, hit the top of the pole, your own pole. He hit the crossbar. You can kind of get spiked by your own pole on the way down. Or if you're going up and then you change your mind, sometimes it'll snap back and then you get the snap back. Boom!

The shish kebab is not a good one. All right, number one, the Turkish shooter. Oh, that's the story we missed. I mean, this guy, look at him. Dan, we talked about it earlier. I think on the last Olympic Top Five, we talked about how the air pistol shooters had all this tech. They had like a magnifying glass and like a blindfold, and like they had all these suits and armors and whatever. My buddy pulls up right here. I don't know his name. It doesn't matter. He's got his hand. That looks like Juan Diaz, our old engineer. Wait, he does look like Juan Diaz. He's got his hand in the pocket.

of his jeans and these people are very precise with the equipment they use and he's just out there winning the silver medal by staring your dead ass in the eye with glasses with no no this guy just made himself an action star like if Liam Neeson and all these people can do it in their 70s this guy pulling up to the Olympics getting a silver medal with his hands in his jeans

Hands in his jeans, just like a turkey strip they gave him. They're like, hey, put this on. He's like, all right, let me see. Look, we have a picture right now on screen of what other people use to make sure that they're focused in on the target, right? They've got a blindfold. They've got a magnifying glass. I don't know what everything looks like. But this guy pulls up. It looks like he just came out of a bar. They said, hey, you can't smoke in here. So he put the cigarette out. He stands there with his hand in his pocket and he's like, all right.

That's good. Here we go. What do you look at? Bam! Right there. Silver medal. Win a gold. That's right. Sturgatz is taking it off the couch. Take your hand out of your pants and win a gold. This might be the third worst financial crisis of our lives. Oh, wow. Government bonds, baby. All my 90-year-old friends who are saying, protect yourself. They're going to call you today. I told you. You might actually have to be on OnlyFans after this. Wow.

Work until I die. The Paul Volter can establish some sort of commercial career off of the story, the headline, because not that people are reading newspaper headlines anymore, but Olympic dreams shattered by own penis. He could turn that into a marketing opportunity. Could he not? Yeah. Yes. Adult film. Certainly. That's going to be there waiting for him. He's only 21. There's the Big Brother house.

Still growing? Love Island for sure. There's lots of TikToks.

There were a couple of local stories that I wanted to get to today, including Stugatz Tyreek Hill getting a restructured contract for $90 million, $65 million guaranteed. The Dolphins think it's win in the next three years with offense and the bills are down. Stefan digs and the bills have been better than the Dolphins for a couple of seasons now. And I,

I don't know what the bills are going to become. I do know that Josh Allen became very good when Stefan Diggs got there. And I'm confused, even with all the reporting I've seen, why that ends. But I assume, do I have this wrong, that the kid from FSU, Coleman, that I love is supposed to be... If Josh Allen is what...

We think he is, which is top five quarterback no matter what offense you put him in, he should not hurt from the loss of Stephon Diggs, right? They'll figure out how to replace that. If he's one of those guys, if he's Joe Burrow, if he's Patrick Mahomes, I mean, Mahomes won with Tariq Hill, but then lost and was still good. You say Burrow, and Burrow's had more skill help than Buffalo has had the last few years. And now when the money comes calling, you're going to lose somebody like T. Higgins eventually because Burrow's had –

more help than Josh Allen's had in his offensive huddle. That's totally fair. I'm agreeing with you when I say that, yes, Josh Allen should be able to get it done regardless of who his wide receivers are. Yes, he should be. If we're going to talk about Josh Allen the way we talk about Josh Allen, which is a top three, four, five quarterback in the NFL, he should be able to win with any wide receivers.

Mahomes has kind of like ruined it for everybody, right? Like you take away Tyreek Hill, you kind of have a bunch of no-name guys. Obviously you have Travis Kelsey, but he just elevates the entire team enough where he can win a Super Bowl. Josh Allen, you take away Stephon Diggs, you've got Curtis Samuel, you've got Khalil Shakir, you've got Keon Coleman who's been struggling in camp, Mike said. Well, it's been uneven. Like he came out the gates red hot, then he's been struggling with OPIs at camp. It's his first camp. But Khalil Shakir is actually the guy that has wide receiver one buzz from camp.

And he was very strong to end the season. It kind of felt like, to me, Diggs was slipping towards the end of the year, had a big possible moment in an important game. Shakir was the guy that was ascending and kind of took his job. They've got two tight ends, so maybe they can run a little bit more 12 personnel to help them out. Matt Collins is there, the boy. So it's like, if you're Mahomes-level tier, you have to make everybody better, and you're about to do it right now. Or we're going to figure out, hey, you're kind of a fraud.

I do think Stugatz, the amount of money, because the Dolphins, everybody's very careful with their salary cap money and where it is that they get limited. The Dolphins have more guaranteed money wrapped up in three guys, quarterback and their two receivers, than anyone else has on offense. So what they're telling you is...

We are winning the AFC East in the next three years with offense. We don't care what the Jets are doing. We don't care what the Bills are doing. We don't care what the Patriots are doing. Offense is like we are hoping that Tua doesn't get hurt, that Tyreek Hill, that...

That what he's been with the Dolphins isn't going to be undermined by any of the recklessness that's all over the rest of his life. You're trusting some volatile ingredients to get you to the top of the division. You are, but you're also trusting a guy who, from a football standpoint, has been pretty reliable over his career. Like, he's there every single week. And he is the best player in the NFL, I think. I agree with that. The best player in the NFL? He's only number one. Top 100. He's number one. He was voted number one by the players. We're putting him ahead of Mahomes? Mahomes was number four. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know what we're doing, dude. Like he literally marched through all those guys in the playoffs. All those guys in the playoffs while everyone was doubting him.

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