The Big Suey: The Gardner Minshew Promised Land
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Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

I just want to read some of the commentary because I think it's interesting. I would imagine that the audience that follows everything that's happening in sports takery would find it interesting. But Nick Wright came on our show. And if you're watching what's happening at Fox as Skip Bayless leaves and Colin Cowherd builds an empire, Nick Wright is in position to be Fox's big sports star.

And one of the ways that he got into that position is by taking a hair-splitting take of LeBron is better than Michael Jordan. To me, it's lowest common denominator. Idiotic and also brilliant. Because it's just an easy way to manipulate sports fans on a passion that they have that is crazed and unreasonable. So what I underestimated...

Yesterday, when I said, I believe that LeBron James in retirement will eclipse what Michael Jordan has done in retirement, a whole lot of people reacted very hostily to that. I'm just going to read some of the commentary. Can he ever be taken seriously again? That's meaning me. Typical casuals trying to disrespect the undisputed GOAT.

We don't care, buddy. Hit the gym. You look like you just ate a bunch of vanilla ice cream. I think Dan... I think Dan is... Why is it vanilla? I don't know. What is that a shot at? I don't even like vanilla. Is it the mustache? You don't like vanilla? I think it might be, yeah. It might be the mustache. It might be the white in my beard, yeah.

I think Dan is mistakenly arguing on bigger when it's really just different. I don't, it's not that I don't like vanilla. It's that I like more flavors. I was going to say. Well, vanilla is kind of like a vessel. Like if you really like toppings, you go vanilla because you know what to expect there. You don't want to take away from the toppings. Yeah, sprinkles. LeBron is a big deal, but this is a blind spot for Dan as he continues to be obsessed with new media.

He'll never be as big as Jordan, never. Kobe was bigger than LeBron before his death and still is post-death. LeBron is the third most well-known NBA player of all time, and that's fine. Stop drinking before the show. P.S., you lost your personality with the weight loss. That happens sometimes. That happens sometimes. I mean, I'd take it as a compliment to say you lost some weight. Yeah, but Jonah Hill's not doing really funny roles anymore. So let me read— Why does Seth Rogen look crazy?

I haven't seen him in a minute. Oh, my God. He looks like he came out of a time machine from 1970, the way that he dresses. Now he just sells ashtrays. What? He started a whole company where he molds ashtrays and stuff. He apparently likes weed. Seth Rogen? We'll get back to that. His ashtrays have little joint holders in them.

Put it on the poll, please, Juju. Does Seth Rogen look like he stepped out of the 1970s? Yes, he's one of the most famous weed smokers. He has said publicly, among other things, why would he have kids when he can be on a Saturday morning smoking weed in bed with his wife? He makes a lot of pottery and other things. He seems to be a...

A real docile pothead. As unlikable as you'll hear Seth Rogen, him talking about his kids thing. He's very condescending of like, yeah, me and my wife, we look at each other every day. We're like, we don't have kids. Oh, this is great. Makes a lot of pottery. Very condescending. I love Seth Rogen, but when I saw that clip about the kids, I was just like, meh. Oh.

Because you have kids and he's judging you by saying. It was a condescension. He thinks his life is better than yours. He knew he was right of like, look how happy I am. It's like, you haven't seen how happy I am when my daughter walks in the room. Okay? Bud, jerk. I love you, Seth Rogen. I'm sorry. I just didn't like that. Wow. You don't know what it feels like. Just like, I mean, I know what it feels like not to have kids. Huh? You don't know what it feels like too. Jerk. All right then.

I don't know why I keep throwing jerks at him. I don't know why you do either. I think maybe I saw a picture of him in a costume. What?

In the 70s? Possibly. He was on like Kimmel or something. I thought he just dressed that way, but maybe he was dressed up. I get the IG ads for the pottery, which does amplify the pun quite a bit that Jeremy made, and he looked fine. Did you know that Cheech sells gummies? Yeah, I know, because I keep asking X to stop showing me the ads. Oh my God, X is insisting on that. Dude, it's unrelenting, the Cheech and Chong gummy ads. That's crazy.

Put it on the poll, please, Juju. Are the Cheech and Chong gummy ads unrelenting? The clarification I want to make on what it is that I was talking about. It's chocolate ice cream. Pistachio. Because many of you are writing in, pointing out correctly how much money Michael Jordan makes selling Nike and being a part of the Jordan brand. This has always been fascinating to me.

Ever since, like, being in a room with Jim Brown and having him say that Muhammad Ali didn't go from America's most hated athlete to its most loved until he lost his ability to speak. And then derisively went after Michael Jordan for not standing for anything. And the famous quote attached to Michael Jordan, which is the reason that I don't take public stances is because Republicans buy shoes, too.

I understand how you would arrive at the opinion, well, LeBron will never make the money Michael Jordan has made in sneakers. And you'd be right. He's not likely to have a business that makes as much money as sneakers. Michael told you what his plan was. Republicans buy shoes too. LeBron wants a media company. LeBron wants to own teams, plural. LeBron builds schools, plural.

LeBron wants to take 5% of every NBA player's contract because he wants to be representing every single NBA player. LeBron is going to get a better ending than Michael got. At the end, Michael's ending was, you're just an employee. Get out of the Washington building. We've used you up for everything you got left.

long after Michael retired, LeBron is getting the coach hired and getting his son $8 million so they can move around the salary cap and just get a little more.

I just think he's going to get everything that he wants and that he's got bigger ambitions than just being a basketball head at the end of his career. And I think the next 20 years of LeBron are going to be super interesting what he can do with that money. You might disagree and tell me he'll never make as much money as Michael Jordan, and you might be right about that, but he's going to do more of

what it is that he wants, which is vastly different than what Michael Jordan wanted from the end of his career. It's going to have his fingerprints and a whole lot of stuff because of what he did with the ending of the managing of his career. Michael Jordan got used by Abe Poland in Washington. It's probably the last time the Wizards were that kind of relevant, got used and squeezed the last little bit. LeBron spent to

all that time making the Hollywood relationships that he needs to so that he can have real power post-retirement. Well, Michael made most of his money because of the equity stake that he had in Nike because he essentially saved Nike and Jordan as this massive brand. But he also, during his playing career, only made $94 million. And it's because of those sacrifices and Michael Jordan saving the league when it was in desperate need of stars that LeBron was able to make these career earnings. But now, because of guys like LeBron...

Cole Swider may actually, if he ever does catch on, have an opportunity. I think Tyler Johnson made more money than Michael Jordan made in his career, you know? Tyler Johnson signed for like $50 million, and I'm pretty sure that what I'm about to say is right, that Michael wasn't a billionaire during his playing days. LeBron is. And if you're following the paths of how that stuff gets changed...

It might well be that it's just different and not bigger. And I know that many of you, because of the tack that Michael Jordan took, many of you hate LeBron in a way that very few people hate Michael Jordan. And that's part of the marketing genius, that there are no haters pre-internet to Michael Jordan. That's part of what it is that makes him vastly less polarizing than LeBron.

But I can't help but be awed at being able to figure out in your 30s, let me get my friend over here to get a percentage of all of the other players in the NBA and beyond, entertainment, who we can represent so that the money that I changed in this sport of everyone's quickly is getting $175 million. Give me 3% to 5% of that. I represent you as clutch management.

Like, that's just unbelievable, the amount of money he's going to be able to recreate. He's going to be able to treat the NBA the way that Michael treated Nike. No, I've got a percentage of this. I own a team. I represent players. I've got the power and the relationships to broker silver and Hollywood.

Adam Silver, silver and gold. Correct me if I'm wrong, but he would probably have to divest from the agency if he owns a team. You can't have an NBA team. Well, he doesn't own the agency. Yeah, that's true. This is why I'm amazed by the whole thing. A little shady. But this is why it's happening right now. The little shady is happening right now. When you can bring Anthony Davis aboard and have a percentage of what Anthony Davis is making.

It's just taking a loophole that no one else has known to take. But he can't if he doesn't actually own clutch management. I understand, but if your best friend owns something, don't you also own it if you made your best friend? I think it just means you could use the bathrooms. This happened, actually. You guys remember, what was the name of this guy? Billy, you might remember. When Wayne Huizenga, when there was a rule that you can only own two sports teams in South Florida and he wanted a third one.

when there was a rule that you could only own two professional sports teams in sports, but he wanted to build Disney World around what was Joe Robbie Stadium. He tried to put the team in his brother's name or something? Brother-in-law. What was that guy's name? It was Witt something. It was just a total obvious masquerade. Yes, he tried to move all of that money into the name of his brother-in-law, Witt Hudson? Harris Witt Hudson. Yeah. Isn't that what clutch management is?

Like, I really don't know. I don't know this. He's not listed. So, like, the take where he's taking a percentage of it, I mean, these are long-espoused NBA conspiracy theories because everyone on the board has some sort of tie to LeBron James, but he doesn't actually own it. Okay, so what do you think is happening there? Well, I'm...

I think it's suspicious, too. I'm not saying it's suspicious. But he can go ahead and own an NBA team and easily say and refute, I'm not getting anything off of these contracts. I'm not saying it's... My friends are, and I am so happy for them. You are hearing from me suspicion. It's not suspicion. It could be... Well, I heard from you certainty.

I am certain that this is another economic source that exists in and around LeBron James that he can and will at some point profit off of, whether it's financially or

Because he's got all of the options in the world, whether it's financially or my friends will just benefit from this. Because, again, he will get everything he wants post-retirement because of how he set this up over the last five years. The last five years haven't actually been about winning a championship. That he got one in there, great for him. To IST. Forgiveness. Forgot about that one.

Forgot about the in-season tournament. Put up two banners. What's the dollar amount where you go from being Harry Wayne Huizenga to H. Wayne Huizenga? Because I'm sure growing up he wasn't H. Wayne Huizenga. His friends probably called him Harry, right? What is Whit Hudson's name? Was that also? It's also Harry. Do we even know if that person existed? It's Harris.

So his was also, was it, so they were both HW something? HW Richperson? They both were that? H. Wayne Huizenga? That is bizarre because they weren't related. They were in-laws, right? It's not bizarre. It's all a construct that Huizenga was using poorly. He got denied because he was clearly trying to buy a team with his brother-in-law. I can't log in to Sun Sentinel, but the only line that I'm getting is Harris Witt Hudson sure had a good taste in high school girlfriends.

What? That's Wayne Huizenga's sister. Imagine baseball with like a Julio Franco stance, though. Bring that thing back. Baseball had a Julio Franco stance. No, bring it back, though. Julio Franco. I'm telling you, we need crazy stances. There's no crazy stances anymore. Is it just because we're not paying attention or they stopped existing? Who's got the craziest stance? Who won?

Summer's the best time to run the way you want. Dial it up with new challenges and programs and bring your workouts with you to make the most of outside sunny days. Stugatz, guess what? What? You know what you can do with Peloton? What? Get the app, go outside, ride a bike. Well, I thought you ride Peloton inside. Well, you do, you can ride Peloton inside if it's a rainy day or if it's cloudy or you just don't want to get outside, maybe it's too hot.

summertime go outside i record a lot for my office with you and you've noticed it's sitting there yet it hasn't been used well now's the time summer's the best time to start that push right can we do it together not on the same bike but we could join a class together i used to do that we just have guillermo tan i'd invite people we'd all take a class together okay time so i think you're starting to get concerned about my health and my age billy i i sense that with you we're beyond starting okay

Whatever road lies ahead, your training starts here with Peloton Tread and Tread Plus. It's not just a bike, a treadmill too. I'm going to go outside. I'm going to get in shape. I'm going to do it with Billy Gill. I want to be in your class. I want you to be my instructor. You know what? I won't be your instructor. You don't want to spend more time with me. No, I can schedule a class and we can ride together. I won't be the instructor of the class. We can have Camila could be our instructor. I like the Grateful Dead class. My daughter, she uses the Peloton. Mm-hmm.

She was on it once and an instructor who was playing Grateful Dead tunes. Let's do that. Okay. Why don't we go for a run outside? Guided run. Peloton. Me and you. That's something we can do together. Okay. Turn on the app. Me and you go outside. Enjoy the summer. Call yourself a runner with Peloton at onepeloton.com slash running. All right.

Don Levitard. That was a long story. Yeah? It's the only kind he tells. It's a short one for me. I tried to speed it up for you guys. You forgot about the League's Cup. Stugatz. Yeah. La Careta is a place where the best of the celebrations has to be the 97 Marlins celebration because it was Levante. Well, when Fidel died the first time. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.

Many of you are writing in now because you can be vultures, you can be buzzards about any time anyone around here says anything that can be objected to, you swoop in and you grab them. So a lot of you are writing in what all the rules are for owning multiple teams. LeBron already has an interest in Fenway Sports.

own the Red Sox, the Penguins, involved in racing. And I will just tell you, if you've been watching what Magic Johnson has done post-retirement, Magic Johnson has gotten into now baseball and football ownership, at least in part, because when these rich guys all get together, all they look around and see is other rich white guys and they're

They need somebody with a name and a lot of money. And so Magic Johnson is...

largely often the only one most available to put a smile on this is a bunch of white guys walking into a room and LeBron's about to enter into that territory as well where he could do some of that. Also on the buzzard front, Mike Ryan has been arguing with me since I got back about an assortment of different things and today for some reason it was Devonte Adams

which used to be a source of unity for me and Mike Ryan. We both argued very vehemently that he wasn't the number one receiver.

Yeah, it was a terrible take. One of the worst. In our defense, when we had that take, he was very bad. But he got really good after that. Well, you're tired of Devontae Adams. Oh, dude, enough with Devontae Adams and Aaron Rodgers. They're like two star-crossed lovers that can never be together, except they chose to be apart.

Ever since Devontae Adams got to Vegas, it would appear that he's only been plotting some sort of return with Aaron Rodgers, be it back at the Raiders or with the Jets. And there's just open frustration from both sides that they haven't been able to get it done. Who can we blame for this? Who? Devontae, you had an opportunity. You had a choice. You got a really good...

Good offer from Green Bay. You took the bigger offer because it was, quote, your dream to play for the Raiders. And since you got there, you are openly into wired for sound microphones, subverting the Raiders at every turn. And now back in the news cycle.

I want to play with Aaron Rodgers again. Enough with this. You guys had the choice. You both made the choice that you wanted to move on. Maybe the Packers made their choice after it became untenable, but there was a path to staying together. And they're going to force their way into this forever.

Devontae Adams will almost assuredly, if they can make the cap situation work, find his way on the New York Jets this season. It's only a matter of time. I'm done hearing about it because it's been three years where they've openly campaigned for this. The part that I disagree with you on and the part that I would like to explore conversationally is the choices we make when we make them what we think we're choosing versus what ends up happening. Because...

I don't believe, and this one's always tricky with athletes because of how confident they have to be to survive that ecosystem. But I always believe that the most confident of athletes believe that they are the reason for their success.

So if Devontae Adams believes that, then he believes he made Aaron Rodgers at least partially as good as Aaron Rodgers was. And he feels like he can take that with him. Now, you learn pretty quickly that's not the case. Hell, Randy Moss learned it himself in Oakland. Like he Randy Moss could do it with anybody. Dante Culpepper.

Didn't he do it a little bit with Randall Cunningham? Randy Moss would make anybody that stepped into that Vikings offense prolific. Okay, so this is the part, though, where I can get entangled. So you've got two positions of extreme confidence. The quarterback...

who's going to rightly feel like he's responsible for everything, and the diva glamour position in that sport that comes closest to star power to the quarterback, which is the wide receiver who's now being paid as if he's almost worth as much as the quarterback because Justin Jefferson and C.D. Lamb are not human beings that can be guarded. They can't be covered.

Devante Adams probably goes to Oakland thinking, like Randy Moss did in going to Oakland, "I'm going to do all of this again!" And then it becomes, "Uh-oh, Garoppolo. It's not what I thought it was." And it got me to thinking about the choice that broke apart LeBron and Kyrie, which I'm assuming Kyrie regretted or learned what it is that he had only because he didn't have it anymore.

And so I'm guessing that Devontae Adams, when he was with Aaron Rodgers, however it is that people do the math on who's responsible for success on things, I'm guessing that Devontae Adams specifically at that position where you and I are doubting, that guy's not that good. That guy drops the ball an awful lot.

He's saying, no, look at me. I'm a number one receiver. Look at... I made Aaron Rodgers an MVP. And now I got my money in Oakland. And I do believe that a lot of times... I'm sorry. Yeah. It's tricky. Yeah. Well, same sort of thing with him and Randy Moss. But thank you. I'm assuming...

that he didn't realize the choice that he made because you keep doing this thing. Well, he chose the money. Well, he also chose another quarterback that he had an affinity for, that he had a relationship with in college, and Derek Carr, and he just figured, I can recreate that magic. And once it became clear that he made a bad decision, and then once Derek and that interpersonal relationship started

moved on to another place he took every opportunity to be really upset with a quarterback production openly and a source of frustration inside that locker room doing all the things that a superstar should do publicly to try to force his way out apparently it was close last year with him forcing his way onto the new york jets and probably would have happened if aaron wasn't hurt

This is what he wants, which is a little exhausting. You had the opportunity to stay together. You really did. You just didn't want to. And I understand how you get there, and I understand the ego of athletes and all that. That's all fine and dandy. He can recognize he made a mistake and not do this thing publicly publicly.

that is exhausting and just a terrible look for everybody. I would rather the NFL just make a waiver and make this thing happen already than to hear about it for yet another NFL season.

He got 10 games of Aiden O'Connell last year. That will make you miss Aaron Rodgers. Wasn't he productive with O'Connell, though? He's been good through all this. That's interesting about it. He just hasn't been relevant in ways that Aaron made him relevant. Still good in fantasy. Still good consistently week to week as good. Consistent...

being able to count on this quarterback will force feed me. Keep in mind, a lot of things about the Packers maybe opened up with Aaron not force feeding the ball to Devontae Adams every play. And Packers are doing best out of anybody in that equation. They are doing great.

great right now. They are a sneaky pick to win the conference. Everyone I have talked to is floored by how good Jordan Love is and is going to be. And the wide receiver core too has come online. You kind of look back on it. Maybe they should have made this move a year earlier. That last season, the Derek Harp

played with Devontae Adams. Adams actually had a career high in targets and had 14 touchdowns, which is the second most he's ever had. But last year, playing with O'Connell, after Derek Carr now is no longer the quarterback that he initially went there for, all those issues of still wanting to play with Aaron Rodgers, understandably kind of

come back to the surface because when you're getting 180 targets in a season, it's tough to complain. I'm genuinely confused as to what Jordan Love will be used as a case study for because you could use him as an argument for, see, that's why you sit a guy. This is the Carson Palmer, John Kitna thing. This is the Aaron Rodgers thing. That's exactly why you sit a guy. But I'm also looking at it as like, no, this guy clearly needed to play.

Because early on, he stunk. We were wondering if that was a terrible decision. And we were openly spitting into microphones, how could you betray Aaron this way? You need to give him weapons. I think he needed to play more. Okay, and very easy to say from this position, you would have been benching an MVP.

You can't bench an MVP quarterback in order to play Jordan Love. I still maintain the Packers in that moment. He was MVP in 2021, I think, Aaron Rodgers. That's a championship window. And yes, you're set up now to compete for championships later on. You owe it to that guy in that title window to give him success.

something to help him win and they didn't do it you have heard me for i think probably 10 years quote chris bosh because i thought it was hugely insightful chris bosh who who was unusually sensitive vulnerable communicative and just really good at introspection said after being here for a while

You do not know what the sacrifices feel like that you're making until you're actually making them.

A-Rod did not choose the money to be in last place. He chose the money and thought he was going to go make a last place team. Great. Devontae Adams didn't choose to leave Aaron Rodgers because he thought he was choosing losing over money. He thought he was going to take the winning with him. And to me, you get 10 games of Aiden O'Connell and you're like, OK, blackjack dealer. I'm good.

I'm good. Get me out of here. We're not going to compete for a championship. Get me to some place that felt like I used to feel when I got all the targets, all the catches, and I was relevant. What's interesting is he doesn't have a terrible situation right now in Las Vegas.

I mean, I understand your longing for Aaron Rodgers. We have a load of questions. It's now been a while since we've seen Aaron Rodgers be that guy that force-fed you the ball and made you great. Las Vegas isn't that much worse of a situation than New York because I don't have the same kind of questions for them. They were really feisty at the end of the year. They have a new head coach over there that they very clearly love, and he's got a quarterback in Gardner Minshew that's going to air it out. If you...

if you could listen to me, Devontae, maybe try to embrace it. This isn't all that bad. Two great quarterbacks. Good depth.

Minshew will take your team to the promised land. Well, not the promised land. He'll take you three steps from the promised land. Their promised land is like, hey, let's be at the wild card. Let's be feisty. Minshew is fully capable of taking you to that promised land. Where will Minshew take you? Put it on the poll. No, at Levitard Show, you can't do it that way, Chris. It's a terrible poll question. Where will Minshew take you? Just make it this. Will Minshew take you within three acres of the promised land?

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Don Levitard. You owe me everything. You owe me everything. You have added 10 years to my career. Yes, I have. This man has. You haven't. That man. Who the hell are you? Stugatz. Ah!

Who the hell are you? Bullshit. Me! You're a rude young man. You're a fool. You're a fool. I already called you a fool. You're a fool right back. You can't call me a fool. You're an idiot again. It's a fool wrong. You're an idiot twice. You're an idiot for dismissing how much I've helped you. This is the Don Levitas show with the Stugats. Roy, where is Stugats?

Seems like he's bothering the video crew right now. He's force-feeding lines to be added to YouTube right now. Are they all spelled correctly? Probably not. That would be a sign. He also told me that the reason that Seth Rogen was dressed like that is because he's doing a biopic of Jerry Garcia. What? Then we looked it up and we found out he's not. That's Jonah Hill. Oh.

Wow. That happens. That does happen. I feel like Gardner Minshew is like the Uber driver that takes you to like right around the barrier that you can get to when streets are blocked off for a big event. And then even though he can drive you further just for convenience, he's like, I think you got to get out here. He'll get you like a block away from the barrier to a big event. Really? He won't get you to the big event. You still got to walk to the big event, probably like half a mile. But he'll take you like within a block of...

the perimeter of the big event. I hate that move. I am always like, I'm staying. You can drive me. No, I like to walk. I think he's the opposite. I think he's like, you know, they're telling us to get out of here, but he might be the type of guy that would pose a national security threat just because he's like, no, trust me on this one. We can get around this barricade. But he still won't get you there.

He'll probably get you further away, if anything. No, it'll be, trust me, I can get us there, and then the car explodes because he couldn't get you there. But he'll tell you to get out kindly. He's like, as Secret Service is converging on the car, he'd be like, I got this. You go ahead. He'll lie to Secret Service about who you are. He'll be like, I got someone really important back here. I got to get through there. And then all of a sudden, you're in there. He's like, I told you it'd work. You know, that's a move that worked.

When I went to the Stanley Cup final, I was like, my app took a crap, but I took a car service because I was so sure the Panthers were going to win the Stanley Cup that day. Boy, was I wrong. And I was just like scrolling forever. My app just like took a total dump there. And I was in this like SUV and the driver just goes, a guy like, I have a very important client in the back. And they're like, oh, go ahead. What's the difference between a car service and just like an Uber or a Lyft?

Money? Alcohol and TV screens. Oh, yeah. And the car service is at your disposal the entire time. Yeah. Keep in mind, I thought, man, this night can get wild. Who knows where this night ends? And it ended with me looking at my bank account and saying, what have I done?

Do you realize when I don't know if this happens to you guys, it does happen to me with a good amount of self-awareness that sort of makes me take inventory of things I don't usually take inventory of.

When your apps crash or you can't get internet service, do you realize the level of your addiction to technology that makes you sad about like, well, I need to correct this. My itchiness about I can't do anything without this phone that leads me everywhere. It's a hopeless feeling. Do you ever have that moment where you've lost Wi-Fi connection and you're like, nothing's working. And then you flip down, you take Wi-Fi off.

and your phone like comes back to life. Yeah, it comes back alive. Incredible. You see the life of like the internet uploading. You're like, yes! Hourglass, Phil.

What a moment. When you see that phone of just like, ooh, now I can read again. Mike, when your app falls apart, does your dependency, does it become illuminated? Well, that app has fallen apart like once before. So I have since learned like if this thing's going to need a power cycle, let me do this. And that one's on me because I don't have the excuse of I was driving and that's how I forgot because that's happened to me when I've been behind the wheel of a car.

And then I've got like 17 people. I've got a traffic jam. I'm sweating. I have to wait for the phone to power back up because, you know, as far as technologies come, the workaround for everything seems to be what you used to do with your old school Nintendo system. Just hit it on the power cycle, maybe blow it even though they say it doesn't work. Bullshit. It works. Speaking of apps, I realized coming back from Tampa that I am a great wazer.

Like, I am good. I don't just think about myself. I think about the people behind me. Because, you know, in ways it's like, oh, there's a car pulled up on the shoulder here. Is it still there? That's the easy one of yes or no. If it's not marked and I'm like, oh, there's a hazard right there. Boom. You hit the hazard. What kind of hazard is it? Oh, it's a car on the shoulder. Boom. I click that. Thank you for your service. Nobody is better at that than I am. But it got me thinking because I'm driving and I'm like, oh, there's a cop up there a mile away. I want to do cops.

when they're on Waze, are they like putting no to help their brother out? Oh, absolutely. Like, hey, my brother's up there. I don't want anyone to see he's there. No, I don't see a cop car there. And then all of a sudden that thing disappears. And he radios them. He's like, hey, you were on Waze. I just cleared you. Beep, beep. Lying. So they're working together. Cops lying? If I was a cop, I mean, if you're a cop, you hate Waze. It's like I got this beautiful spot behind this bush. And now all of a sudden every car knows I'm here. I would hope that my brothers in arms are like, I got you, brother.

I think if a cop is using Waze and it says this is a cop in the area, he always has to hit yes because he's a cop in the area. It's like the thing. If you're undercover and you say, are you a cop? You are obligated to, by law, say yes, I'm a cop. That's how it works. Put it on the poll, please. Do cops hate Waze? I love Waze, man. If it's like, ooh, there's an object in the middle of the road and a quarter of a mile, that next quarter of a mile, I'm like, first one to find it wins. Me and my wife are like, where is it? Where is it? Oh, that little piece of tire. Right there. I found it. Still there. Boom. Nothing.

Nothing feels better than doing, it's like being on a jury. You just feel like you are doing your part. Have you been on a jury? No, I want to. I told my wife that. It's terrible. I want jury duty. Why? You can take mine. How do I request it? Take mine, please. I want like a month-long trial. No, you don't. I want to be an important person. I want to be the lead jury. What's the lead person called? The foreman. I want to be the foreman? Yeah. Or floorman? Foreman. All right. I want to be that guy.

I feel like I would be, I feel like if I was on a jury, they would keep me. They would look at me and just be like, and I would lie because I feel like if I said this job, if I said this job, they would be like, get him out of here. Like that's, you're in the public. Why do you think that is? Right? I mean, because you're in the public? Because if you have

platform, I feel like they would just be like, I don't want that noise. I would just be like, I don't have a job. I'm fully committed to being here. I don't think you, I mean, I don't know if that's a crime or not, but it sounds like a crime. I don't think you could just go to jury duty and start lying. Well, most people lie for the other way. They're like, how could I get out of this? I'm trying to lie to get in it.

Well, the problem with this, Chris, many problems, but the main problem with it is that the lawyers for each side are trying to pick people that they think will be dependable. So if you're just acting completely irrationally like a wild card, neither side will think this is someone that will work out for me. They won't know where you're going to go. I'll be cool as a cucumber.

That's a what? Kewl is a cucumber. What is your move? What do you say? Just lean back. How do you get selected? Because I'm in a situation where I have been sent a jury summons for the third time in a year.

And I thought, this is impossible. I even served on a jury. It's impossible. I got hit by the big three. I got civil, I got criminal, and now I have federal. So none of them offset each other. So all of them are still good. So I keep getting hit with, you need to come. That's bad luck. It's terrible luck. You're not resetting the general timeline. Well, here's the thing, is that this time I'm going to be out of town.

But I can't get anyone on the phone to explain to them I'm going to be out of town. So I had to do like an online thing and I'm trying to click like I'm not even trying to like entirely get out of it. Like let's just postpone it like a month so I should be good. And I can't find anyone to talk to. So this is a problem because this is in a couple of weeks. So I'm trying to figure out how to get out of it. And I don't think that like if I could get a substitute in Chris, I would love for Chris to go and be my substitute in this situation. But it doesn't seem like it's possible.

I realized because I'm a junior that between the time I was eligible for jury duty and the time that I moved out, all the jury summons came in as Roy Bellamy. So I didn't know if it was me or my father. So I was like, hey, it's my dad. I have to go through these things. So what's your plan, Chris, when you get there? Sorry, Roy, I thought that you were done. No.

No, my plan is just I'm into it. I'm into the process. No, but what are you going to say when they ask you questions? What do you say? Well, I think if you want to give off a combination of I mean business and I'm going to take this serious and you're not too into it. So I'll have like my body language will give off relax, but my eyes will give laser focus.

So I'm kind of like playing with my beard. You want to come off a little sexy. You just kind of lean back, but my eyes don't leave the attorney. Like I am locked in. Which one? Is this you coming off a little sexy? Which side? I don't think it's working. Which side are you looking at? Playing with the beard a little bit. Defense? Whoever's talking. I'm moving. I'm side to side. I'm like ping pong. Whoever's talking. Who needs me? I knew the moment. Who needs me? I knew the moment that I was getting dismissed the last time. I knew exactly what I did to get dismissed.

It was because they were going around and we were talking about like, so this was not a criminal. This was like civil or whatever. So it was like a lawsuit. And I, this was a batch of like, I don't know, like 80 or a hundred potential jurors. It was huge. Normally it's like 12 of us and they pick six. So like your odds aren't that good. This was like an all day affair. And there was like,

80 people and they had to like whittle it down to like 12 and I didn't survive like the first or I guess I survived the first two cuts so I'm still in there and I know like oh this isn't going to go well and then you have like the people like I'm really excited I want to it was like the Chris Cody's I really want to do this I'm really eager to do this the Whittingham's yeah but they were also saying things that like if I could give them advice like you're not saying things that are going to get you selected like you're being too forthright here I object

You're giving off the wild card vibe. You're very excitable and you really want to be part of this, but you're also giving off unreliable here. I don't think that they're going to select you because you're giving them too much wiggle room. They need to know where you're going to stand before they select you. It got to me. Overruled. What was going on was it was a case where

I think it was like an insurance claim or something was going on, right? And there wasn't like an actual witness to the claim, but they were bringing in witnesses that were paid witnesses that were experts on whatever the field was.

So then they got, they're like, does anyone have any questions? And the question that I asked was, well, I mean, if this person is getting paid and they're a witness, wouldn't you just pay a witness to come in that's going to say exactly what you want them to say and present your case? Like, it's their opinion. It's not an actual fact. They're not actual witnesses. Right.

And then I saw the defense attorney kind of perk up and look at the other defense attorney. And they were like, that might be our guy. And then I saw the plaintiff or whatever the words are look at me. And they're like, that is not our guy. And I said, I think that did it.

I think that did because then the judge is like, yes, that could be one way to look at it, but not necessarily the case. I was like, I'll just stop talking now. I'll see myself out. I think I should honestly just got up at that moment. I'm good. You should do the thing that you do later. Like, I'll leave. I know we're good. Penalty box. And they're like, what the is it?

penalty box. Can I approach the branch? You should please say that. Ask the judge to approach the branch. The branch? Yeah, that's the one. Absolutely. Chris Cody, why is it that you spoke there with all of your legal terms as both the attorney and the judge, not a juror? You want to just show them that you know the way it works. Well, things used to work at a law office. Do you ever tell them that? Or you keep that away because you don't want them thinking you're too smart because you're almost a lawyer. That

Keep that bad boy in your back pocket because that can get you out when you don't want to be there. Chris Cody appearing to be too smart, you think, is a way to go. Yes. Yes. Let me tell you something. Jury polls, not the best of the best exactly. Billy, you said something during the segment. You said you couldn't get anybody on the phone. Can you for anything?

I'm dead serious about this. You've heard me lament before the way that customer service has collapsed all over the place just because we're now addicted to the technology and human beings don't have to answer the phone. But can you guys get anybody on the phone for anything? I finally was able to get someone on the phone. He told me, oh, you got to do that online. And then he just gave me a website to go to do it. I'm like, bleh, bleh, bleh.

Every company has like their answering machine before they get you to someone. If you know you can do this online, hey, you big dumb dumb. You go to blahblahblah.com and you can do all of this. But if you'd like to talk to someone, sit there and press zero. The number of times I don't need to tell you that I'm ordering food and I'm talking to somebody and they're like, can't take your order this way. I'm like, what do you mean? You got to do it by phone. That one's on you. I mean, what are you doing? I don't.

by phone. You want to do the old school? Can I get the orange chicken, please? Yes. With the white rice. Yes. Yes. You can do it on an app. I don't want to do it that way. You can save some money doing it that way. I don't want to do it that way. No, no, no. Saving money Dan's way. I'm not looking to save money. I'm looking to save time. Well, you're just a boomer at that point.

Summer's the best time to run the way you want. Dial it up with new challenges and programs and bring your workouts with you to make the most of outside sunny days. Stugatz, guess what? What? You know what you can do with Peloton? What? Get the app, go outside, ride a bike. Well, I thought you ride Peloton inside. Well, you do, you can ride Peloton inside if it's a rainy day or if it's cloudy or you just don't want to get outside, maybe it's too hot.

summertime, go outside. I record a lot from my office with you and you've noticed it's sitting there yet. It hasn't been used. Well, now's the time. Summer's the best time to start that push. Right. Can we do it together? Not on the same bike, but we could join a class together. I used to do that. We used to have Guillermo Tan. I'd invite people. We'd all take a class together. Okay. So I think you're starting to get concerned about my health and my age, Billy. I,

I sense that with you. We're beyond starting. Okay. Whatever road lies ahead, your training starts here with Peloton Tread and Tread Plus. It's not just a bike, a treadmill too. I'm going to go outside. I'm going to get in shape. I'm going to do it with Billy Gill. I want to be in your class. I want you to be my instructor. You know what? I won't be your instructor. You don't want to spend more time with me. No, I can schedule a class and we can ride together. I won't be the instructor of the class. We can have Camila could be our instructor. I like the Grateful Dead class. My daughter, she uses the Peloton. Mm-hmm.

She was on it once and an instructor who was playing Grateful Dead tunes. Let's do that. Okay. Why don't we go for a run outside? Guided run. Peloton. Me and you. That's something we can do together. Okay. Turn on the app. Me and you go outside. Enjoy the summer. Call yourself a runner with Peloton at onepeloton.com slash running. All right.

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