The Big Suey: The Nail Ripper (feat. David Samson)
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Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

This segment is presented by LinkedIn Jobs. Post your job for free at linkedin.com/dls. Terms and conditions apply. A potent heat dome is building over the United States, sending temperatures into the triple digits. There are heat warnings all throughout the Midwest through Thursday. It's going to be 100 degrees plus. ♪ Die, we're all gonna die ♪ ♪ We're all gonna die ♪

We're all gonna die The oceans are all burning And we're all

Any number of ways. David Sampson, nothing personal is here. We will find out if he will attend an assortment of funerals before the end of this segment. It is a new segment that has caught on throughout the globe. Everyone's playing it. Sampson is exceptional at it. Why are you smiling, Billy?

Just because Adam McKay is going to die in his least satisfactory way possible. He's going to slip in the bathtub while he's been worrying about all this other stuff killing him. When I was in Iceland, they told me that there's a glacier that makes up 9% of the country that's now projected to melt within the next 100 years. And when it does, it's going to raise the entire sea level by a centimeter. And what they told us is that...

All of Florida goes underwater if it raises four centimeters. So they said every single coastal town will be wiped up. That's just 100 years from now. It's sort of happening now with fires and fire tornadoes and all sorts of flooding and all sorts of strange places. Iceland's going to raise up from the sea. When we say it's going to be in 100 years. By like 120 meters. I know, but when you say it's going to be in 100 years, there are going to be gradual apocalypses all over the globe before that. The volcanoes are going to be insane when that happens.

Anyway. It'd be exhausting being your guys' brains. I just got told. It wasn't my fault. They just told me. I mean, just stop thinking for a second. That's coming from me. I mean, like...

David Sampson, Nothing Personal is the name of the podcast. And I think, David, have you gotten it like exactly totally wrong on the A's in Las Vegas? Because I did see a stadium being built and I did see public financing. And you were you were very out in front on being loud about the A's will never play in Las Vegas. Yeah, I may get that one wrong, but not yet.

Not yet. The groundbreaking was done indoors in a temporary sort of building on the site because it was a thousand degrees. When we did Marlin's groundbreaking, we did it outside like men. And it was so hot. It was insane. If anyone can remember that.

but groundbreaking is simply performative. I don't think you've seen a stadium being built in Vegas because there's tractors, but there's been no actual building, but it's coming. And if I'm wrong, I'll admit it, but not today. I don't need to admit it today.

Only men know how to go outside. It's strange. Go outside like men. This might be a reference to the Club World Cup where Bruges Dortmund on an 84 degree day were like, we're keeping the subs in the locker room. It's too hot out here. Chelsea's manager has also said, it's almost impossible to train. Buddy, you're in Philly. What are you talking about?

Can you guys get me some information on what Pablo Torre is reporting, please? There is some buzz around what he is reporting today about the NFL. What did Belichick do now? I don't know. Dan, this is a good one. Go ahead, David. I don't know. You have information on this? I'm just getting it now, but I don't know the details. Is this the Russell Wilson thing? Yes.

Yeah, I want to say that how we are operating on all cylinders at Metal Ark without going to inside baseball. Matt Koch and I do a live show every day from 7 to 843. And the email came in about the show at 715.

And the purpose is we're supposed to get some advance notice so we could work in a topic or two, talking about it to help PTFO and talk about an NPDES. And you're saying that you're getting it just now in the middle of your show. So how can you comment? I haven't read one thing, haven't watched one thing. It never came up, never heard of it, but I guess he found out that there's a smoking gun of collusion 'cause Lamar Jackson's microphone didn't work or that Lamar Jackson is dating Jordan Hudson.

I can't remember which is which, but something got found out. I will say this to back up David not to get too inside baseball, but sometimes like we get teases that they're going to break a big story, but get no idea what it is. So we can't promote it as though there's state secrets that we're going to scoop them on. So no one can go listen to their episode where if we knew we could help promote it better.

We're not great at promotion around here, so I will tell you for the first time that tomorrow night we are going to watch, some of us, I don't know which ones, you're all invited, with Tim Kirkshin from 6 to 10 p.m. We're going to just be watching baseball games with Tim Kirkshin and an assortment of his friends. What are you laughing about, Samson?

I would love the opportunity to share what it is to watch baseball with Tim Kirchhen. It's like watching with an encyclopedia. And it's just anytime you can watch a game with a scout or a real member of the media or a former player or manager, you'll realize that the game of baseball, it's like a symphony or a ballad.

There's so much going on during the course of a game that your audience may say, my God, that sounds like chalk nails a board or something. I can't remember the expression, but no, it's going to be awesome tomorrow night with Tim Kirchner. Will the old timey baseball player be there? Because David Sampson looking at Greg Cody right now, would you say that you have ever seen anyone who looks more like, I don't know, I'm going to say Casey Stangle, but maybe Connie Mack than Greg Cody right now.

He looks to me like he just came off the set of Field of Dreams. Thank you. Archibald Moonlight Graham. Right. Just walked out of a cornfield. Yeah. Barefooted with those talons, with those talons. I've been told we're going to get you a pedicure here that we're going to get you next week. Stugatz, can you tell me you have twice cut the toenails off his talon feet? It was an honor. One of the toenails was seen by pilgrimage by thousands of our fans in a glass case.

What would you say is the texture of the talon nail when you cut it with the pliers you were trying to use on his talon? Like a rock? It's like a thick seashell. It is. It's hard to get the clippers around the nail to actually cut it. You really got to dig in. It's a very thick seashell, and it's the consistency of bone.

Sure. It would be very hard to break. Like Stugatz did something. I broke it. Stugatz did something Herculean by taking, you know, I'm going to say a hatchet and a mallet and getting one of his toenails off because it is the feet of a demon. No one disputes it. The pedicurist, whoever that person is, will run from any room screaming when she sees him unveil his leathery feet. His skin is the texture of a catcher's mitt of that era. Yeah.

You know, there's a scene from "Dumb and Dumber" when Harry and Lloyd get a pedicure and it is from nails that have not been exactly tended to in their previous lives as just a, you know, cleaning animals in a moving car. And that pedicure scene is a hilarious scene and a hilarious movie.

And I'm picturing the machinery that will be required to get a pedicure because I have suffered a little bit from that as a runner. My nails are not awesome. And I rip my nails in order to keep them short. I don't clip them 'cause I feel like I have more control by ripping them.

And so I'm a nail ripper only on my feet, not my fingers. You are a man. I don't know what that is. I don't know what he's describing there. What are you doing? What do you mean? Ripping your toenails off? Wait a minute. Stugaccio, you're acting out with surprise after saying it was manly to rip your toenails off. Well, I was making a joke. Put it on the poll, please, at Levitard Show. Is it manly to rip off your toenails at Levitard Show? You're grooming of your feet. This is a surprise.

I would think that you are a very meticulous tool user, delicate and careful around your feet. - I'm a meticulous, careful toe nail ripper. And so I get, you get an edge. It's all about getting an edge when you're ripping off and it's different with your pinky nail versus your big toenail. It requires different angles in order to start the rip.

and you have to start it exactly right. 'Cause while running, if your toenails are too short, it can actually sting. And if they're too long, it can cause blisters. So you have to be a perfect ripper. And it took years of practice. You're not born knowing how to rip toenails and different angles, but you can learn it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I need to tell all the people, again, nothing personal. It is broadcasting excellence every day. Two hours now, double the David, this kind of broadcasting eloquence. Like chalk nails a board or something. That's nails on a chalkboard. There it is. Whatever the saying is. He's talking too much, and some of those words come out in the right order, and some of them do not. Like chalk nails a board or something.

Do you have any opinions on Kevin Durant and the Miami Heat? Greg Cody was not allowed to say anything in the last segment. And, Greg, get near the microphone now. I know you're very comfortable as the old-timey baseball player. But I went to you a couple times trying to ask you something about respecting Pat Riley and never heard a syllable from you. So the floor is yours, sir. It was tough to get a word in edgewise. I'm thinking of taking out ad space on your show just so I can say something. Anyway.

Any thought that Pat Riley is too old for the job is ridiculous. Any criticism of Pat Riley needn't even mention the fact that he's 80 years old. I think his mental acuity is beyond question. I don't think age is a factor at all.

What I think Heat fans should be frustrated about is that Kevin Durant was gettable at a price far less than I think anybody imagined. Houston did not pay a lot to get him. The Heat could have had him if Riley was not—

unwilling to give more than he was. That's the frustration. The Heat didn't lose out on Kevin Durant because they could have had him. They were just unwilling to give a fair market value for him. That's what's frustrating to me. So that's a bad job by Riley, though.

It sounds like it's got nothing to do with age. So you're criticizing him, but... Yes, I am, but it has nothing to do with age. You can be sharp as a tack and still be out of touch with today's players. Look, I'm 39 years old, and I see OKC's championship celebration, and I'm wondering what the hell's happened to the younger generation.

Well, but this is him going in that direction, though, by valuing Kahlil Ware more than he does Kevin Durant. I disagree with that, but that's what Riley is doing right now. Yeah, but Riley disagrees with that. He's never operated this way. No, he hasn't, which is a surprise. He's never cared about draft picks. He always wants the big-name veteran, and this was a total—

Samson, can you hold on for just a second? Greg Cody, I would like for you to look into that camera right there, please, if you do not mind. Actually, here, look into this camera right here. I want to get as much of your face as we can. Which camera do you think he should be looking at? I think this one right here. That's the good one. Thank you. So just give us your hottest take here as your glasses fog up.

And as you're an old-timey baseball player... I love how he looks at the screen where he is. No, no, don't look at yourself. Just straight ahead at that camera. You talk to the audience right there and you give them your... Still looking at yourself. Look, as the guardian of the Miami Herald and local journalism, as a man who might defend and protect respect and gatekeeping of Pat Riley and the end of his career in Miami, give us your best take on fair criticism of Pat Riley and unfair criticism of

Okay, I thought that's what I just spent the last two minutes doing. Are you asking me to repeat myself? Yes. Yeah, he does that. Into a camera. I just did that. I just said it's not about Pat Riley's age, okay? Dan forget? I mean, geez. In this case, he did not want to give enough to get Kevin Durant, which is a disappointment and a surprise. Now, to Dan's point, what he said yesterday, if he goes out and somehow gets Giannis now—

Everything is great. And he looks like a genius. But nobody thinks he's going to do that, right? You look like the old man from Up. That's all I wanted. I just wanted his glasses to fog up more and more. And I didn't care what the words were that came out of his mouth. I just wanted the hot air from his breath to fog up his glasses.

as the take kept getting hotter. But David, your thoughts on not getting Durant. Do you have, on nothing personal, did you have some sort of viewpoint that's different than other people who are at this trough? Yeah, I just would tell you that Pat Riley should be getting thank yous from his fan base, not any criticism. Kevin Durant is, you want to talk of him as overrated, Greg, you missed the opportunity.

At $50 million in an expiring contract, Durant is not getting you closer to a title. What he's doing is taking away any sort of flexibility you may have and giving false hopes to the players that he's with, thinking that he can be better. And he can't. So the reality is that any...

amount of deal that Houston gave, I viewed it as an overpay. You think that they didn't have to give up anything. Five second round picks, it's not nothing. There were eight live bodies given for one, an overpaid guy who has proven that he can go to a team and bring them right into the crapper. So Pat Riley, as an octogenarian, is actually firing on all cylinders,

although 80-year-olds can't fire on all cylinders, but most cylinders not being seduced by the name. Put it on the poll, please, Juju. Can 80-year-olds fire? Can any 80-year-olds fire on all cylinders? So he's taking the hottest of the more extreme takes. All I have heard is that the rockets

It's made a good deal getting exactly what it is that they needed for their team, not just as a veteran, but as a shooter. The last three years of Kevin Durant have no precedent in the sport in terms of efficiencies from jump shooting. You're on the other side of this. I've heard no one. I've heard no one say that's an overspend at one year. They didn't even have to extend him. Did they? Did they extend him? Or did they just take the 50? That has not been reported yet. It's not even a trade yet, folks.

Just so we're clear, the NBA nor the Rockets nor the Suns announced any trade. It was breaking news leaked on Game 7. I have not heard anyone saying what you're presently saying. You're going the other extreme here in a way that's aggressive. I have not heard anyone saying that Kevin Durant is not someone who will be additive to the Houston Rockets and is exactly the kind of thing they need. I'd be far more worried that they're going to get georged.

and that would concern me far more if I am not Paul George he's an unprecedented scorer it's not even that it's also they're not giving up Shea Gildress Alexander and the bevy of picks that were traded for Paul George not that Jalen Green is a bad player but you're moving Dylan Brooks who's been a journeyman and a defensive oriented player one first round pick those second round picks are almost more valuable to help you facilitate other trades down the line for role players that maybe they won't be able to do but the

benefit if you're Houston is you've already built your core around Shane Goon around Thompson these young players who were ascending you're viewing Durant as just an upgrade from Jalen Green which he is as the score that you need down the stretch in games which was proven during the playoff so for them it was the right move for them it makes sense that amount does not yeah and they're not done

They have so much more to trade and continue to improve on their roster. Or just let it grow. Who's to say if Miami comes up to the table and says, all right, we'll include Jovich or we'll do the Ware deal, Houston still has plenty of assets to be like, okay, we'll go one up you. Yeah, that's right.

- I think you gotta wait to see what happens here with all of these trades, because you say there's no SGA in this trade. I don't think you exactly know who's in this trade, 'cause you have to look the way, and you can look with Paul George with the finals this year with Indiana and with Oklahoma City. There's so many different iterations of trades that happen, and it's not one trade, it's multiple trades over multiple years that bring your team to a place where they weren't before. And we have to see whether Ishby is gonna be smart enough

to allow any sort of smart basketball person to do something there, but they're better off with more bodies, different bodies than with Durant because you saw what they did with Durant. They weren't even in the tournament.

So what exactly? You say it's unprecedented, Dan. Yeah, you wrote checks to the guy and he didn't play in May. But offensively, he was an extraordinary and exceptional player still. Windhorst said on first take yesterday, basically, that Durant kept rejecting places to play, like Minnesota, to lower the price so that Houston could have access

assets to land another player down the line. They report that he'll take less than the max in the next deal. They got him cheap on a discount. And if I understand the heat frustration, if a pick swaps and Jovic, if that's actually accurate and that's all it would have taken that they, that the sons weren't enamored with the five second round pick. I think the overriding frustration here from heat fans is yet again, a player wants to come here and,

Which is hard to do. Get a superstar to say, I want to go to Miami. They haven't always been able to have that player play ball. Recently they have, especially this player, multiple times and they just haven't found a way to get it done when the executive atop the franchise is the guy historically that gets it done more than anybody else. I just don't think you ever want to overpay, Mike. That's the whole key. And this is coming from a person who made a living overpaying.

and making bad trades, you really don't want to do it because you can get gun shy and you get burned enough times, you stop doing it. And I think what you're seeing of Pat Riley is that his MO has changed when he's realized that those kind of trades can go bad in a hurry. - That right there, you can seize on that and say that's not my Pat Riley. That's not.

Scared money don't make money. Pat Riley has never been afraid to make a move. Now he's afraid to overpay? What are we doing? That overpay for Kevin Durant, a Hall of Famer, while you overpay for Terry Rozier? We're scared. We're suffering PTSD from Terry Rozier, and that's standing in the way? That's been the excuse for the last three years, and you know where it's gotten Pat Riley? Ten Seeds.

Kevin Durant's not a Hall of Fame player today. Kevin Durant was a Hall of Fame player 15 years ago. No, wait a minute. David, he's still a top 25 player, David. You don't get in the Hall of Fame by being a top 25 player. He's a Hall of Famer. Don't you misunderstand. He's going in the Hall of Fame, of course, because it's easy. But this year...

Next year for the Rockets? As a matter of fact, I predicted on nothing personal, the Rockets will not make it out of the second round with Durant. All right, we don't need these predictions that we can check in six months from now when I see things being built in Vegas and you're still not conceding.

that the A's are going to be in Vegas. Like, it seems like they're building. He doesn't have to right now. I don't have to, Dan. I will when I have to. But it seems like you're wrong here. Like, and you're just being. You got to string it out, Dan. He's right still. He's not wrong yet. You're being stubborn.

David, in the negotiating room in baseball or outside in business, did you ever physically intimidate others to get your way? Maybe just slap someone across the table, leave a diamond in someone's forehead, anything like that? What's the most menacing tactic you use to get your way? I weigh 133 pounds. How could I be physically menacing to anybody? Can you show us your toenails?

So I was thinking about trying to do it. Here's the problem. Now, I have the ability to do it right now, except...

I don't have the flexibility to do it right now because it would require taking my leg and I'd have to bring the microphone and somehow... All right, this is what I would like to... I want to see him do it. All right, here it is. I love that tan line. Good God, look at that tan line. That's the good stuff right there. That one even has the tan. Those hips are not doing well.

Did you guys notice the tan around the thong sandals? Did you notice that? We all commented on that. Okay, good. Just wanted to make sure it was clear. A little late to the party. Because I didn't really hear it, so we were all talking over each other. Wanted to make sure the audience understood. Don't say that out loud. Audio medium. Okay, yeah. Excellent. Yep, audio medium. I don't want to play that yet. He just wants to be mad at me. Friend or co-worker?

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Don Levatard. Baker Mayfield tearing up Tampa Bay, 38 for 45. Stugatz. Shred them! This is the Don Levatard Show with the Stugatz. ♪

Nothing personal is the name of the podcast with David Sampson. He is feuding with Andrew McCutcheon over baseballs. Owned. Andrew McCutcheon really got your ass. Can you admit that you're wrong here? Let's see what happened here. Andrew McCutcheon hit you with the rock.

And he says to David, my source stinks. What a laughable thing to say when my source is the commissioner of Major League Baseball and I have 27 witnesses to back that up. So stick to your little channel and do this. He revealed the source, huh? DraftKings has a proud partner in Major League Baseball. Bad journalism from McCutcheon just revealing his source, but his source Barry Sampson. So that's actually not at all what happened.

So in first of all, I like Kutch and it's all good. And Lil Channel, I didn't know what that meant. I was thinking Lil Abner, but but I don't mind that he did this to me. Lil Abner, really? So you're somehow going older than Cody today. So you think of L.I. apostrophe L. You go back to Lil Abner, a 1970s cartoon.

That's the first thing I thought of when he wrote Lil' Channel. I assumed that's what he meant. Is it even 70s? So I did respond in a private DM. Let's get more context here, David. You originally, McCutcheon said there's something up with the baseballs this season. And you went on a rant saying that he's wrong about that. He's just making that up? No, what I said is his source is bad. I never impugned him personally at all.

I merely said his source was wrong. So his response was my source was the commissioner. Here's the problem. A unveiling your source, not really what you're supposed to do, but B he's talking about a meeting before the season started. I promise you when he says 27 other people, he's referring to 26 members of a team and the commissioner wink, wink. There's more than 27 in the room, but I digress.

So in that meeting where Rob goes around and talks to all the different teams, trying to build relationships with the players, trying to fracture the union in order to get a better CBA, but I digress, we can talk about that later. - Oh my God. - What was said was that the balls have a standard of deviation when they are handmade. And I know he said, 'cause he said this to me too. And within that standard deviation, balls can be different.

but the specs of the ball are the same. They've always been the same, but there's always different balls. Some seams are higher, some are lower, some are just off with the leather. They're handmade. That's all he said. He didn't say the balls have been deadened or the balls have been juiced. He didn't say any of that. So I merely said your source stinks because you misunderstood your source, but we're good.

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There's a chance that this episode gets nominated for a Peabody. And I think that that is the object of this game when you have this sort of reporting and it's a great object. And I assume when we watch PTFO, which we haven't had time to do because we were told about it as a company 25 minutes ago, is that we will find that the biggest thing the owners are engaging in and what all players and unions are trying to find is the possibility of collusion.

Was there collusion in not giving guaranteed money past to Sean Watson for all those years? Is there collusion with free agents or with guarantee clauses? And the answer is it's not collusion that is actually provable in a court of law. There's no settlement coming, but there certainly are discussions that happen between teams and between executives as you're trying to figure out how to navigate today's waters in terms of guarantee language.

That's about enough of David Sampson. I think we can all agree. Thank you. Look at Billy just came to life back there. What are you pointing at, Mike? I got a list of people for the funeral. Yeah. OK. Oh, I want to. I do want to do that. But I don't know how to segue from that to what David's reviewing today, because he watched a movie that I watched and watched.

George Clooney did an amazing job on revealing to everybody what was happening at Ohio State that was predatory in a way that Ohio State needs to be held account for in a way that has a great deal of public shaming involved.

around how leadership fails young people. Just so we're clear, the crew, myself, so we're keeping David now, we're doing movies and the funeral game. Yes, it's crowded here and I was about to let him go. They want to play the funeral game, but David would like to talk about this movie because it was powerful and David, what was the most interesting? It's on Max and it's surviving Ohio State and I know Penn State has gotten a lot of the attention here and Nassar has gotten a lot of the attention here, but this

Same thing happened over decades at Ohio State in a way that George Clooney is responsible for bringing to life, at least in part, as an act of activism here. Correct, David? Yeah, the story is there was a team doctor for all the athletes at Ohio State, and this team doctor took it upon himself to fondle the male athletes and to examine them for hernias while his hand was on their genitals in ways that that's not how you check hernias.

And when they would hurt their elbow or shoulder, he'd say, yeah, but we got to check for a hernia. And the real thing that you'll learn, and it's not a spoiler, is the guy, the doctor who did this, he's dead. He killed himself. And to me, he took the easy way out. I wanted to see him suffer in prison because molesters and pedos don't do well in prison. And he decided that he would not take that chance. And this is a story about money. It's a story about

that males can be molested and can be the victims of sexual assault as much as females, and it doesn't get a lot of attention. And it's horrifying to be a big, strong wrestler or a hockey player, and you find yourself absolutely at the mercy of someone

who takes advantage of you in a way that you don't even know how to respond to. There's no outlet. And the damn coach, including Representative Jim Jordan, who's still a representative in our legislative branch, was a part of it as an assistant coach, knew about it, claims he didn't, which is wrong and wrong.

maliciously lying and gaslighting. And it is a, it's a movie that will change how you look at victims of sexual assault in a way that is disturbing, upsetting, problematic. I have not read on, about George Clooney and Jim Jordan, but the lack of leadership in there basically being a pipeline for abuse that is being funneled into a pedophile's office is,

In the in the way, Stugatz, that you have athletes getting injured all the time around wrestling. So you're basically just sending basically prey to a predator for decades at Ohio State and seeing it laid out this way. Go ahead. I'm sorry, David. You wanted to say something.

I'm sorry, Dan. I didn't want the segment to end without telling you about a team doctor that we had with the Marlins that it turns out was doing unsavory things. A team doctor who examined me. I took physicals. Now, the team doctor in this story would shower with the athletes. Our team doctor did not do that. He was up in Jupiter. And what he did is he had a bunch of strange things in the drawers.

like handcuffs and various things that sexual deviants would use or people who have a more interesting life than I do. And it was never used on me. And when I found out about it after the fact, I was blown away in that I then was checking on older players. Like, did you know about this? Did you see this? So is there a chance

that there are people in Ohio State who did not know what was going on. There is, but not the coaches and not the players around it and the executives at Ohio State because it was brought to them and they ignored it.

Nothing was ever brought to me during the course of my time with the Marlins about this doctor. So you volunteered. I'm sorry. I don't even know what to do with what it is that you just, we'd be asking more followups. We should. Yes. I, well, that's one thing that I would do, but I, I'm, uh, I also want to play, uh, would you attend their funeral? And so you want the joyful music. I used to be a journalist. I'm kind of stuck here. Yeah. I'm kind of stuck, but I do have followup questions though. Um,

Do that. So take me through the details of what handcuffs and what handcuffs and what were in the clubhouse because... I didn't say the clubhouse. I said the doctor's office in the drawers where I was having my drawers around my ankle. But they were never used on me. So none of these... Okay, well, no one assumed it was used on you. No one...

I'm just kidding. The other guy showered? Wait, but hold on. That part, you just threw that in there. That's the other doctor. There's one question, one direct follow-up that we should be asking. Did you have any evidence that this doctor was making any of your players feel uncomfortable?

No. We had no evidence at all. We were absolutely shocked. And that's why I told you I went back to players on our team and said, by the way, did this happen with you? Were you a part of this? And the answer was no. Not one player who was getting physicals or treated by this doctor ever saw any manifestation of these proclivities. Whereas in Ohio State, there were issues all over the place. How'd you find out about the handcuffs?

Oh, only when it got made public and he got arrested and he got sued. He was he you get this is Googleable. I'm not making this story up. OK, you can search a doctor and if with initials that may be D.S. and you may find this story. All right. So I don't know the history of this and where the lines are between in the details between deviance and illegalities. But just to put into context what David was saying about surviving Ohio State,

which I would recommend to anybody, but it will make you uncomfortable, as these things should, so that people can learn about them. For decades, a doctor with high school boys who are arriving at a culture of sport where, okay, these people know what they're doing, right? It's all about winning. I need to trust the adults here, right?

This doctor was preying on kids who didn't know, weren't old enough to know how they're supposed to deal with whatever is normal in the height of college sports that a doctor showers several times a day with the players, even though he's not working out or doing anything. And that's the doctor that everyone accepts as that's that doctor. Everyone knows he's a little weird. It's just a fundamental leadership barrier

breach that is an indictment of everyone who was in charge at Ohio State where they put winning ahead of all other things in a way that was really overt and chronicled well in this. Now, please give me some happy music as palate cleanser and sorbet so we can get a little lighter on this segment. Yeah, funerals. Funerals, lighten it up around here.

The conversations get a lot funnier when it's just around death instead of the serious societal stuff. By the way, Billy Ray Cyrus is dating Elizabeth Hurley. What? Who's 60? Whose balls are June? I don't see what the point of that is. What's the point of that? Why did you do that? A little tidbit. There was a window maybe 10 minutes ago to mention that. I digress. Sandy Alderson. Would you attend Sandy's funeral? Yeah.

No. Here's why. Sandy was with the Mets for a while. He was with MLB for a while. He's someone who I thought was pretty good, got a lot of credit for doing things, Hall of Famer in some circles. But no, even if it were convenient, I would be sorry because it means the passage of time, but I wouldn't go to the funeral. Former Marlins utility man Alfredo Meziga, would you attend his funeral? Wow, Mezzy.

If I got a bunch of old players together, like if I would call up Miggy, who is good friends with him. You're making it a party. It's a funeral. I mean, it feels like his funeral would be a party. I would only go if it were a reunion.

Some sort of reunion of good teams that we had where we could hang out and party and have fun. I wouldn't go like with my head hung low and wear a tie. I'm not interested in that part, but I would definitely go with a bunch of the former guys and talk about the good times. Would you go to Miguel Cabrera's funeral if Alfredo Mezica invited you?

I wouldn't need an invitation from Mezga to go to Miggy's funeral. But just to hang out with the guys, yeah. Yeah, so I wouldn't need it. So the reason why I need to hang out for Mezga's funeral is he's sort of a fringe funeral, so I need an incentive. For Miggy, I don't need any incentive, though I wouldn't go to Venezuela. So let me actually say, depending on location for Miggy.

I wouldn't put myself in jeopardy, but I would certainly go to the funeral in Florida. New twist on an old classic. Would Miguel Cabrera attend your funeral? I believe that he would send a fruit basket. And you would send it to Detroit. Let's play. Would you attend David's funeral? Greg, would you? Oh, wow. Um,

If I were invited, I think I might. Invited? You decide if you want to go or not. You've got to be invited to a funeral. No, you don't. Invited? No, you don't. Invitation. Wait, wait, wait.

Wait a minute. What kind of answer was that? That's a man who's been slumbering and was not expecting the show to come in David's direction. I was not, to be honest with you. Caught off guard. Yes, I think I would attend. Are you going to RSVP? I think I would attend David's funeral. You got the fish or the chicken? You got startled by our show right there. Is it a buffet? I did. And then you made it an invitation-only funeral. David, have you actually imagined who will be at your funeral?

Yeah, I have an actual plan that I'm going to do a funeral in Vegas and have one more big party in Vegas. I'd like to be buried in a Vegas cemetery. So when people visit me, they can visit right off the airport and then go right to the casino. Make it easy for them. We'll go to a nays game before. We'll sprinkle your ashes in the outfield. How David Sims was wrong and refused to admit it. By the way, the fruit basket's a better haul than you got the first time.

See you later, David. Ranks better than Mike Rebello. I've mentioned it before on the show, but guys, I don't really get enough sleep generally. And so when I do get sleep, I want to make sure I'm getting great sleep. And do you ever, like me, wake up tired and think, maybe it's not me, maybe it's the bed? Yeah, it probably is the bed. That's why there's the Sleep Number Smart Bed, the bed that learns you. It adjusts your movements, supports your body, and lets you pick the firmness on each side.

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Jeremy, you know something about me, right? You know when I'm grilling outside and it's summertime, you know how I supplement my summertime? Of course I do. I make a Miller Time. Of course. That beautiful white can. Oh, when it's so hot outside, I just put it right to my forehead, right there. And I just roll it sometimes right on the forehead, cool my body down, and then I crack it open and...

instant relief and then that first sip brother does that first hit that is a top five sequence of events that you can possibly go through i'm just serenity now when i just imagine that first sip of miller life just thinking about it's making me dude the sun is out it's nice you have your friends showing up you got your family there you just had your first sip of miller light and you know what you're happy

You're blissful. You're fulfilled. I've been stocking my cooler with Miller Lite for years and for good reason. It's brewed for taste. Only 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs. This year, Miller Lite turns 50.

There's five decades of cookouts, laughs, and ice-cold moments that never miss. It's the original light beer, and it's still my go-to. Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Cheers to 50 years of Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.