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cover of episode S11 E12: [Lucy] Bad Blood

S11 E12: [Lucy] Bad Blood

2022/3/24
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Something Was Wrong

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Lucy: 我与丈夫Owen的母亲Patricia的冲突持续多年,她对我的生活进行过度干涉和控制,包括在我们的恋爱、买房、婚礼以及生育孩子等各个阶段。她的行为包括言语侮辱、羞辱、私自查看邮件、未经允许进入家中、控制婚礼细节、排斥我的家人、在工作中偏袒他人、违反劳动法、对我的孩子表现出过度的占有欲,以及在疫情期间不尊重我的防疫措施等。这些行为严重侵犯了我的个人空间和家庭生活,给我带来了巨大的精神压力和痛苦。我曾多次尝试与她沟通,但收效甚微。最终,我意识到她的行为并非偶然,而是源于她自身性格和控制欲的长期累积,以及她对我的潜意识排斥。 在寻求专业帮助的过程中,我逐渐认识到自己15岁时曾遭受过性侵犯,这与我与Patricia的冲突之间存在着某种关联。Patricia的行为模式与性侵犯的创伤经验之间存在着某种相似性,都体现出一种边界感的缺失和控制欲的强势。 我最终决定不再容忍她的行为,并寻求专业的心理咨询帮助自己走出创伤,重建健康的人际关系。 Patricia: 我认为Lucy对我的不满是无理取闹的。我所做的一切都是为了这个家庭好,为了我的儿子Owen和我的孙子们。Lucy不理解我的苦心,她总是对我冷嘲热讽,不尊重我这个长辈。她对我的指责都是不公平的,她应该为自己的行为负责,而不是一味地抱怨。 我承认我曾经在一些事情上做得不够好,但那都是因为我太爱我的儿子和孙子们了。我想要参与他们的生活,想要给予他们帮助,这并没有错。Lucy的抱怨让我感到伤心和委屈,她应该理解我的心情,应该更加尊重我。 我并不讨厌Lucy,我只是希望她能够更加体谅我,能够更加尊重我的感受。我希望我们能够和睦相处,共同为这个家庭的幸福而努力。

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Lucy's relationship with Patricia began positively but quickly turned toxic due to Patricia's controlling and insulting behavior.

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This week survivor Lucy shares her story.

*Content Warning: This episode discusses sexual assault and emotional abuse.

**

Sources:

Ultra Violet: Facts About Violence Against Native Women)

UltraViolet is a powerful and rapidly growing community of people mobilized to fight sexism and create a more inclusive world that accurately represents all women, from politics and government to media and pop culture. UltraViolet is a community of one million people that drives feminist cultural and political change. Through people power and strategic advocacy, they work to improve the lives of women and girls of all identities and backgrounds, and all people impacted by sexism, by dismantling discrimination and creating a cost for sexism.

Where’s the Media Attention for Missing Indigenous Women?)

By Andrea González-Ramírez, Sept. 24, 2021

Resources:

The National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center, Inc. (NIWRC)) is a Native-led nonprofit organization dedicated to ending violence against Native women and children. The NIWRC) provides national leadership in ending gender-based violence in tribal communities by lifting up the collective voices of grassroots advocates and offering culturally grounded resources, technical assistance and training, and policy development to strengthen tribal sovereignty.

NIWRC) develops resources and training opportunities to support Native advocates and survivors, and tribal governments in prioritizing the safety of Native women and their children and requiring accountability of offenders and communities. Native women, their children, and Tribal nations are entitled to:

-Safety from violence within their homes and in their community

-Justice both on and off tribal lands

-Access to culturally grounded advocacy designed by and for Native women

-Safe, affordable housing, legal services, childcare, economic security, and other basic resources provided in respectful ways

-Culturally-based, trauma and resiliency-informed services

-Access to indigenous healing ways

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